#not even touching his “divorces” w house here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thankstothe · 4 months

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Some notes on Wilson's marriages/divorces, and how he met House:

• House didn't just meet a freshly divorced Wilson. He met barely married Wilson, who just got notified about his #1 divorce by a lawyer, not his wife

• Wilson walked around with papers on hand, long enough to give House a chance to sneak a peek. The same day he received the news. (there's a chance it was some sort of middle step in the divorce procedure, but "just served", checkmate your honor)

• House 100% knew that when he bailed him out. No, I don't have any concrete evidence besides "it's fucking House"

• House had Wilson observed the entire time to know he didn't open the papers. The divorce lawyer prob gave him an idea of what it is, and he was just marinating in the suffering juice

• House had to be nosy and stealthy when he checked the package Wilson clung to, he saw what's written on it

• They didn't actually talk at the conference itself, so House did it silently too

• There was a law firm address on the papers, and you couldn't just google shit then. House's had to remember it to investigate it further, or he already knew of the firm (or it said "BLAH LAW FIRM BLAH HERE'S YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS, LOSER", which is possible)

• Wilson likely opened them in a hotel room (or he looked at the package sadly/angrily there too), needed a drink, and House was at the bar

• House was watching Wilson at that conference, then at the bar, then meltdown over the song, then the whole fight and the mess, then the detention, and was like yeah I'll bail that

• "First words you ever said to me." This is when they first talked, Wilson was in jail and the one in need

• Ok alright, hear me out, if House didn't know what the papers were at the time of bailing. There are 2 paths for him to find out

• Wilson STILL had them on hand in jail

• Or Housey saw them at Wilson's hotel room. Yeah

• It's been over the decade since they've met and they both vividly remember the details of that drunk night (I get why for storytelling purposes. Still... Much to think about)

• That conference is either the last one, or one of the lasts, House attended. And that one was already boring to House without Wilson. 15 years prior to s06e06 "Known Unknowns", can't do the timeline magic I just eyeball it

• House also introduced Wilson to Cuddy pretty soon, since she was a witness to the levels of despair he was apparently in

• House might've pestered Cuddy to hire him, or she chose to do so herself (whenever she was dean). Maybe House chased away some poor oncologist to make an opening. Even if House isn't as obsessed with Wilson at the start of season 1, he's always plotting

• There's the brother thing too. Wilson still fresh out of med school, still divorcing, still guilty af and looking for the brother in Princeton, so he was happy to work there

• Prior to that, Wilson was working 2 jobs to support himself and Sam and was ready to follow her to Baltimore

• The divorce and meeting House happened in 1991, the same year USSR completely fell apart. Just thought I'll throw that in #educational

• Wilson was married, non-fraudulently, for 12 years total

• Marriage #1 has only lasted 1 year

• That means every marriage House was present for has lasted longer #math

• Wilson found a way to get fulfilled while in the marriage

• Now he's got a needy bitch with infinite problems and who will slurp any poison he has to siphon

• I'd argue House is what made Wilson bearable at home

• At the same time, House is what kept Wilson away from home, ultimately contributing to the divorce

• Wilson himself describes his marriages as crappy - he doesn't really need help destroying them. House still helps~✨

• Timeline gets wonky, but there couldn't have been much of a downtime between marriages, a couple of years max

• "Fell in love at the wedding" - whatever the fuck that means for Wilson

• Either Wilson met Sam through that wedding, and she also aimed to work in medicine - how they've connected. Or they went there as a couple, both being med students? Got high on emotions and jumped into marriage

• Wilson speedruns relationships once he's in them, so it could've gone "hey that was a nice wedding, how about we have our own?"

• He fucking sucks at proposals, his looks and general air of niceness carried him all 3 times, I will not be hearing any objections on the matter

• When Wilson talks to Cameron about cheating. He says, "I have (cheated). I always told them"

• "Them"

• It's could've been every marriage (#1, #2 and #3). If boy managed to sneak in cheating in his 1-year lightning marriage #1, while he was studying + 2 jobs (now I don't doubt his time management skills, but it's still a hassle. On the other hand, all that stress couldn't have been helping)

• Or it could be #1 and #2, or #1 and #3. But #3 is pretty much a certainty (he flirts with nurses on screen, House is also there), and it's "them", so why would he randomly stop in the middle? Don't think so

• What's most likely is - #2 and #3. When arguing with Sam (#1) again she didn't mention or allude to the cheating, her problem was that Wilson didn't communicate ANY emotions to her, she even admitted to House she made the most mistakes in that marriage, let's say there's some truth in that

• Wilson either didn't tell Sam about cheating, she didn't have a problem with it, or he lied to Cameron

• OR he didn't cheat on Sam

• He started to cheat after the first divorce AND his marriages started to last longer, which is funnier too

• He could've started cheating prior to House entering the picture, but much more likely - after. Divorce and/or House are the cause

• Speaking of. Meeting House is very tightly linked to the #1 divorce. Every time Wilson would think back on it, he would have to think about all the turmoil and getting bailed by House. And vice versa - every time he'd think back on meeting House...

• "I met someone who made me feel funny. And I didn't want to let that feeling go." Another Cameron talk. Ur honor, there's something on that wall

• btw, he is STILL married while meeting House, so if you hilson 1st-night-fuck truther, that meeting is his cheater origin story in a more practical sense. He then could've really meant all the marriages, but then he lied about telling Sam/Cameron, he might not count it since he's divorcing to tell Sam

• Ultimately, he's a huge liar, and I'm wasting my time. What I'm saying - nothing is really off the table with this guy in terms of hcs

• Aftermaths of #2 and #3 aren't really talked about like #1. It must've been really nuclear

• House says neither of them recovered from (#1) divorce to Wilson's face, Wilson doesn't contest that in any way. Even tho House didn't know Wilson before the divorce he usually right on the money with these things

• After the divorce #2 Wilson got 3 legged cat

• After failing to secure marriage #4 (#1 part 2) he got a diabetic cat

• Just like the thing he has with missing phone calls, after every divorce, consciously or not, he might expect a savior to bail him out

• After and during #3 he crashed at House's, then surfed hotels, then moved in with a dying patient, then Amber's, then House moved in with him (still Amber's)

• Maybe his wives kept taking properties in the divorce, and he just stopped getting them

• Man frankly didn't have a home for a while (HOMELESS BUT NOT HOUSELESS)

• Then Wilson finally commits and gets the place for himself and House, from Bonnie (#2)

• Wilson adamantly remains on good terms with his ex-wives (but not random exes. One helps House with a prank, House kept tabs bc of course)

• But Wilson thinks they hate him. Did he ever pay attention to them?

• While spending all the time with House, then cheating, telling his wives about it, Wilson gave them more attention and emotions to delay the divorce

• He also learned how not to get attached in marriage, to not get destroyed by the divorce (excellent gambit if you expect your marriage to fail)

• He has a better support system now too. Can't believe House is your support system, fucking lmao and ouch. Cuddy is his only other friend we see, maybe Stacy at some point (he kept in touch with after the incident)

• All his other friends and family we hear next to nothing about, at best they're surface level

• In season 5 he's only visited by the coworkers/House's team + Cuddy <- all that is pretty much House's tolerance circle

• House is pathetic, but Wilson is something else entirely

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johannestevans · 5 months

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guy who moves into a neighbourhood and very quickly gets furiously into beef w his next door neighbour bc he decorates his house and backyard so beautifully

always gets featured on the local news, always has people coming and taking pictures of his yard and his decorations. desperately tries to outshine him bc he was just excited about finally having his own place to decorate and! he didn't want to do it for the competition but now he's getting outshined

and this bastard has the gall to invite him over for dinner and doesn't even have? a christmas tree? doesn't have any decorations inside at all?

"oh, I don't celebrate Christmas," he says mildly as he puts out a lasagne. "my ex-husband went wild for the whole thing, and I kept all his decorations when we divorced. he bought all of it, but i had the better taste of aesthetics, so."

"you don't celebrate it?" the neighbour repeats, galled. "Why the fuck do you decorate like that for a holiday you don't even celebrate?"

"Oh, you know, money, publicity, attention. Spite plays a good part in it." He sits across from his neighbour and puts his hand on his chin, looking across at him. "And you're here, aren't you? Seems worth all the effort to me."

His foot touches the neighbour's under the table, and suddenly he is angry and also really flustered at the same time. "Oh!" he says, very angrily. "Oh."

"Ho ho, surely?" is the reply, with an infuriating smirk

#musings

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supraveng · 1 year

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Trying to mend a broken heart

part one

Summary: you and Bucky don’t get along, constantly pushing each others buttons, this time he may have pushed you too far

A/N: Non canon; Marvel characters but no superheroes or Avengers; post college AU.....I am focusing on angst for the first few chapters, I’ll decide if it changes to a happily ever after based on feedback

Word count: 1504

Main Masterlist

Walking up to your door, ready to end this horrible day, you heard the crowd of people on the other side before even getting your key out. Normally you would have been prepared to interrupt Natasha's hangout, even join in, but today you just wanted to curl up in bed and cry.

You deserved a pity party, and their fun wasn't going to stop you. Making your way into the house you took a deep breath and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. The group quieted slightly when they saw you come in but continued their conversations while you poured your first drink.

Throwing it back in one go, you started to pour another when Nat spoke up. "Hey, you're back early. How was dinner with Jeffrey?".

You could tell by her voice that she knew something was wrong and was trying to comfort you by not asking the wrong question. Humming at her, you brought the glass to your mouth, taking a small sip before responding, "we broke up."

Taking another full gulp, you looked up at her, trying to put on a brave face. "Actually, that's not true….him and his wife are getting back together…..so I'm not needed" you shrugged then finished the drink in your hand.

At this point you had everyone's attention and was doing your best to appear strong. Wanda looked at you concerned, you could tell she wanted to ask more but you decided to get it all out of the way now so you could start to move on.

"Apparently he wasn't divorced, they were just separated. Why is it that every guy I date cheats, or lies or is a convict" you start rambling, only to be interrupted by Yelena.

"Awe, I miss Joshua, I wonder how he's doing". Sam immediately smacks her arm in warning, "what? He was fun". Natasha rolls her eyes at her sister before focusing back on you.

"We ordered Chinese, it should be here any minute and there is plenty, join us and forget about that asshole" Wanda begged you to join them. Looking around the room, you knew your presence would bring down your friend group and declined.

You were almost to the stairs, bottle in hand, when you heard Bucky mumble something under his breath, but the way Steve smacked the back of his head, you knew it had to be about you, and for some reason you were willing to confront him about it.

Bucky and you got along well the first day you met, but since then, you would both made snide comments to each other, and the longer you've known him, the worst they got.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over here" you looked at him waiting for a response, not sure what to expect.

"I said that's what happens when you date dirt bags" Bucky told you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. At this point, all the air seem to be sucked out of the room, you couldn't hear anything besides the blood pumping in your ears.

How dare he judge me? No one moved as you stepped closer to him, and you took a deep breath trying to calm yourself from slapping him or breaking down in tears, at this point you weren't sure which way you might go.

"Thanks for the insight Barnes" you stared him down as best you could. "I guess I need to break this habit of being attracted to cheating, lying, assholes. And who better to understand that than you, right?"

Giving him one last cold glare, you exited the room, headed up the stairs and closed your door as quietly as you could, not wanting him to think he angered you. He couldn't have that control over you after the way he's treated you tonight and for the last 2 years

~~~flash back~~~

Natasha and you were finishing up the final touches for your house warming party when she spoke up "so Steve is bringing a friend, he's known him since forever and I think you will really like him".

She made it seem like an innocent introduction to one of her boyfriends friends but you could tell it was a set up.

"Oh Nat, don't do this to me. I'm not mentally prepared to meet someone tonight" you pouted at her.

"I know what you are thinking, but he's different"

And he was different, Bucky came to the party after everyone else arrived and brought a fun but calming energy to the house the minute he walked in. He seemed to know everyone already, so Steve introduced you and bragged about you to him and vice versa.

You and Bucky chatted almost the entire night, he was charming and flirty but in the most sincere way. The smile never left your face the whole night. As the party was wrapping up, you gladly gave him your number when he asked and were left breathless by the kiss he gave you before he walked out the door.

Bucky Barnes had left you blissfully happy when you fell into bed that night. The following weekend was a get-together at a nearby pub to celebrate Steve's promotion at work, and once again Bucky was the last to arrive.

Except this time, he had a petite blonde with him when he made his way to the table you were all sitting at. He introduced Britney to the table before heading to the bar for drinks, giving you a small smile as he walked by. What the hell?

Not sure what was going on you decided to chat up the newcomer. "So Britney, how do you know Bucky?" taking a sip of your drink. She immediately looked at you, and you could tell she was judging you from head to toe, but you couldn't care less.

Giggling before she answered "I'm his girlfriend, why else would I be here?" Her condescending tone made me want to accidentally spill my drink, but you held back.

"Oh? He hasn't mentioned a girlfriend" you smiled at her, feeling stupid for even expecting anything from him besides flirting last week, but hadn't expected things to die before they started.

"Well, it's new, it's only been a few weeks" she replied and gave you the once over again, apparently judging your response. "And I'm not the jealous type, I wouldn't worry about him around someone like you" she smirked knowing exactly how her comment made you feel. Stupid to think mean girls stayed in high school.

Trying your best to not lose your composure you smiled "definitely don't have to worry about me, I wouldn't touch him with a 10 ft pole. I have no interest in catching Chlamydia''. You abruptly stood announcing you were ready to dance and dragged Wanda with you.

~~~~end flash back~~~

"What the hell is wrong with you Bucky?" Steve was probably the angriest one in the room now. When he started dating Nat, he took you under his wing like a little sister and always protected you no matter what.

Bucky was immediately defensive and glared at Steve, "so I'm the bad guy for telling the truth?"

He scoffs and pours himself another drink, he did feel a bit guilty but you had said hurtful things to him since that night in the bar when he ran into his neighbor and invited her to join the group since her date stood her up.

Thinking of that night still upset him, he hadn't even got a chance to talk to you when you decided to talk trash about him to Britney.

At first he thought it was a joke, but the way you avoided him all night and was dancing with some frat boy the whole time, he knew whatever hope he had last week was ridiculous as you obviously didn't feel the same.

"I still can't figure out why you two don't get along".

Bucky growled at Sam's remark, "she has been an insufferable, self centered bitch to me for no reason, I really don't care if her feelings are hurt right now".

But he did care, he's been defensive around you since that night, not wanting to get too close so you couldn't hurt him, but every time he made a snide remark at your expense, it hurt him more than he was willing to admit.

It was Wanda who came to your defense, “well Bucky, when you lead someone on when you already have a girlfriend, how do you expect them to react?” Bucky looked at her completely confused, “what the hell are you talking about?”

At this point you were finishing your shower and heard the argument going on downstairs, but assuming it had to do with a game they were playing or something on the tv, you turned on your Bad Bitches playlist and crawled into bed. The only thing you wanted right now was to be over this day and have a fresh start tomorrow.

Part two

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x reader angst #Marvel AU #avengers au #avengers angst #marvel angst #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #angst fanfiction #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #yelena belova #Steve Rogers #sam wilson

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sugar-omi · 9 months

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Alright all your Cove and Baxter anguish has me FUCKED UP and I need some adorable Cove fluff to recover. How about a little about Cove and M/C as newlyweds coming home after the honeymoon?

at first i didnt know what to write but then i start thinking n.... pls i love this sm i hope it heals your broken heart <3333

tags : Fluff, cove loves you sm, sharing money (cove shares his money/bank acc w you), he's just in love w you theres nothing else to say

synopsis : how cove acts after your come back from your honeymoon

he's bringing you flowers everyday

at first he brings you a couple bouquets but you've run out of places for them so he just brings you one and add them to your collection.

none of them are the same either

so you have sunflowers, lilies, roses, tulips, peonies, orchids, and many many flowers all in one vase

is it a little ugly? probably. definitely. the colors and sizes n shapes all clash but it's the thought that counts

if you don't like flowers, are allergic, or you get tired of him bring so many...

he brings you food <3

I think one of cove's love languages is food

he brings home sweets like cheese cake or marbled cake

or fudge, or chocolates

or if you aren't into sweets like that, then he'll bring lunch/dinner instead

he's a decent cook, and even if you're bad at cooking he wants you to help him

lots of kissing n half burnt food (he takes whatever portion is burnt so you don't have to eat it)

and he tries to always bring u lunch

if he can't bring you lunch for whatever reason, he either packs one for you or sends you money for lunch

COVE: hi bby, have you eaten yet YOU: im ordering food rn COVE: i sent u 50 is that enough YOU: ?!*!&!(!? YOU: that's too much 😭😭 cove pls YOU: ill send the rest back COVE: keep ot COVE: it* COVE: my money is your money

he does this all the time now, in fact he'll even had you his card

which he's always done before your marriage, but now ge even gets you a card connected to his bank account too

he doesn't even care if you share your money w him too, he just wants to give you everything he has

like if you asked for his shirt in the middle of the store I think he'd ask why n then just give it to you

as if he was gonna say no in the first place 🙄💀💀

he just becomes so much more obsessed w you after you're married

always cuddling or touching u

if you're around your mom's they're always cracking jokes....

especially if you want kids they're all "we're gonna be grandparents soon at this rate lol" (even if u want to adopt or dont wanna birth/can't have kids bc you're amab or infertile or smth)

they just think they're so hilarious 🙄🙄🙄

does he blush bright enough there's steam coming off him? maybe

does he stop? nope!!!

loves you so much, he just needs to be close to you

HAS A PICTURE OF U IN HIS WALLET

omg....

prbly has 2 actually

one is of the two of you bc sometimes he can't believe you're married n he just needs to make sure life is real

n one is of just you in your wedding attire

will talk abt you to anyone who asks or makes a comment

this mf would prbly get a shirt that says "y/n's husband" on the front

even tho it's in small print on the front it's embarrassing.... like pls we get it you're in LOVE

he'd get you both jewelry w your wedding date on it

will hold you up at the door if you try to leave without kissing him

you've always gave him a peck before leaving but now it's WORSE

once he even stopped you in the driveway before you pulled off...

man's ran out of the fucking house in socks and unicorn print sweatpants

you roll down the window "what? what's wrong?!" cove, leaning thru the window and pouting. "kiss."

you look at him in shock n disbelief before you just laugh and kiss him

he taxes you two extra kisses for the trouble, he got his socks wet from running out here!!!

you have to push him off otherwise you're gonna be late to work bc you were too busy making out in your driveway

your single/divorced neighbors hate you

the teens idolize what yall have n their standards got so fucking high after yall moved in

n the old ppl laugh bc they've been there when they married and/or they find it amazing how obsessed cove is w you

if it wasn't such a bad omen or if you didn't disapprove, he'd get your wedding date or your initials tatted on his ankle.

maybe it seems extreme all of this bc I think cove just realizes how amazing you are sometimes n all his love overflows in this way <3333

no matter how old you get he's always gonna run out in the rain, snow, or sunshine n get a kiss if you forget

pfx by the time he's 80 he can't move as fast but he's hustling down the path before you can escape

if you do get away before he can get a kiss though, he is pouting when you come back

#our life: beginnings & always #olba #cove holden #cove holden x reader #cove x mc #cove x reader #our life cove #cove our life #cove holden fluff #cove holden x mc #cove holden x reader fluff #fluff

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animexts · 2 years

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𝐌𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 | 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮

– S: Gojo and Y/n lost their son while he was on a mission, now she wants a divorce.

– P: Husband!Gojo X Fem!Reader | WC: 1.103

– W: Mentions of miscarriage and divorce, it's kind of distressing I won't lie.

English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes.

"Fuck" that's all Gojo has been thinking about during these two weeks, in a matter of a month, Gojo lost his son, his beautiful and dear son, and he lost his wife, his beautiful and dear wife, his better half, the love of his life.

"Here, sign this." Y/n says putting the papers on the table.

"Good day to you too." Gojo scoffs and puts down his cup to pick up the papers.

"Divorce? You've got to be kidding." He drops the papers and gets up.

"I'm not, and you'd better sign this." Y/n says and turns away leaving the house.

She didn't even go to Jujutsu Tech with him anymore.

Fuck fuck fuck!

Gojo sighs and picks up the papers looking at them with disgust.

"You'll never fucking have my name signed on you." He says and throws the papers in the trash.

So their morning started like this, Gojo trying to talk to Y/n while she was teaching, and Y/n obviously ignoring him completely.

"Megumi have you seen my beautiful wife?" He says approaching his student having lunch.

"No, but she was quieter than usual during classes." This takes the smile off Gojo's face.

Gojo sighs as he sees Y/n sitting on the stairs, it looks like she's just finished teaching first year.

He approaches and sees her holding an ultrasound, their late son's ultrasound.

"I... still carry one of these in my wallet." he says softly.

"Have you signed the divorce papers yet?" Y/n says without looking at her husband.

"I'd rather be with me alive by a curse." Gojo says casually and Y/n rolls her eyes.

"Why haven't you signed the divorce papers yet?"

"Because I don't want this, I want you."

Gojo looks at her and sees her drop the photo in her pocket with the same cold expression that has been on her face for the last few months.

"How are you?" Gojo asks looking at her face which is with a neutral expression.

"Dying, I'm dying." Y/n talks normally and it scares the fuck out of Gojo.

"Please don't say that." Gojo sits next to Y/n on the stairs with their shoulders almost touching.

They are silent, but a painful, tortured silence.

"You're going to have to sign this, you know right?"

"And why? Why do we have to get divorced? We should be going through this together!"

"Really? And where were you when I needed you the most? Fuck Gojo, I know you were on a mission, I know that, but not talking to me for two days? And then coming back with a smile on your face? We barely spoke. about it, and I don't even know... if you were sad or relieved about it."

"How dare you say that? He was my son too Y/n, I cried and cry everyday because I don't have him anymore!" Gojo says feeling his throat starting to close up.

"And why don't I see it?"

He is silent looking at his wife with that sad and…destroyed expression and then he realizes something, he was all this time trying to be strong for her, but he should have been strong with her.

"I don't know what to do with my life anymore and honestly, I'm horrible at anything" Y/n suddenly speaks, and all Gojo wants to do is hold her face and tell her how wrong she is.

"You know that's not true."

"No Gojo, I've actually just realized how right I am, recent events prove that."

She's never been so wrong in her entire life, Y/n was the best person ever and she just didn't see it.

Gojo looks at her, and the blank expression on his face startles he.

"Look… I thank you for staying with me all this time, I honestly don't know how you managed it." Y/n says getting up and smiling softly at Gojo.

He missed her smile, he fucking missed her, but that fake, sad smile wasn't his favorite, not really.

"Why are you telling me these things? What's going on?" Gojo says starting to get desperate, was that a... Goodbye?

"It's okay, don't worry about me." Y/n says turning around, but Gojo is faster and holds her wrist gently.

"Fuck stop!" When Y/n turns around and he looks into her eyes he notices.

He realizes how painful it must have been to feel her son dying inside her, he realizes how hard it must have been not to have her husband close during that terrible moment.

He realizes that it must have been even more terrible to see her husband act normally, instead of crying with her, instead of suffering with her.

At the thought of this, Gojo can't hold back the tears, so with the hand that isn't holding Y/n's wrist, Gojo takes the bandana from his eyes.

"No more hiding your suffering from her Gojo."

"Fuck Y/n don't ever say that again, I'll worry about you for the rest of my life because you are my life!"

"You've always been the best at everything, my love, you're the best wife ever, and all the students are so obsessed with you, honey."

"Forgive me honey forgive me, you should never have gone through this alone." He pulls her to her chest and closes his eyes as he smells her shampoo.

"Gojo..."

"Baby, you are perfect, an amazing woman, it wasn't your fault, my love wasn't." He says and kisses Y/n on the head.

Hearing these words, Y/n feels his eyes sting.

"Gojo..."

"I should have come running to see you, I should have abandoned the mission to be with you, damn I'm the worst husband ever."

Y/n hugs Gojo's waist and closes her eyes crying.

"You are the love of my life, do you understand that? you are everything to me, everything!" Gojo says holding her face with both hands.

"I lost our son Gojo..."

"No love, you did everything for him and he was the luckiest baby to have you as a mother, and I'm the luckiest man to have you as a wife, I can't lose you, I can't." Gojo kisses her wet cheeks.

"It hurts so much Gojo." Y/n says crying more and Gojo feels his heart in pieces when he sees this.

"Let's get through this together my love, together."

"I should never have allowed you to push me away my love, but don't worry, I will never leave your back." He kisses Y/n's head again.

The two stay there for a while, crying and consoling together, as it should be.

#gojou satoru x reader #gojo #gojou satoru x you #gojo x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu nanami #jjk x reader

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lemonyko0 · 2 years

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work over pleasure - kth

in order to have everything, you must first be in a position to lose everything. after divorcing the love of your life, you're already halfway there.

» genre: angst!!!, romance, divorce au, pregnancy.

» word count: 1.8k

work over pleasure - kth

"i'll just send it to you in the mail, don't even think about coming here taehyung or so help me god.” i scold my ex-husband over the phone as he bothers me for the hundredth time this week over something he doesn't need, but insists he does.

it's all just an excuse to come over again. the chance to talk to me in person, to see me, to touch me. i sometimes think he likes to argue for sport, for his own entertainment.

he's plenty aware it's all we do when we see each other yet he's constantly bothering me.

“i'm passing our house on my way to work, why can't i just come get it? you're being ridiculous y/n. can't you stand to face me for a minute?”

i scoff then laugh, “truthfully taehyung? no i can't. and it's my house, not ours. it's in my name and i'm the one paying rent, not you.”

his heavy breathing over the line is all i hear, his telltale sign he's deeply annoyed. “what if i bring your bracelet? can we trade off then?”

the businessman in him shows as he makes a deal he knows i can't refuse. having lapped up my most valuable piece of jewelry ‘by accident’ when he left two months ago.

“fine, just don't be late.”

i can practically see his irritating smirk over the phone, “sure thing baby.”

i simply roll my eyes and end the call, not having the energy to scold him anymore.

i haven't had the energy for anything lately, feeling constantly tired and sore despite doing nothing. i even began getting sick before breakfast every morning, but i had chalked that down to my anxiety over my divorce. a simple coincidence.

a part of me knew the truth deep down, but i couldn't take anymore devastation after dealing with a failed marriage with a man i was still horribly in love with.

taehyung was married to his work, not to me. his loyalty rests in the hands of the company he's so proud of. that's what our divorce was over, and that's what made my situation so much more difficult.

standing alone in what was once my husband and i’s house, with a positive pregnancy test in my hand. everything i was scared of, confirmed with one extra blue line.

i couldn't believe it. i refused to, actually. there was no way. taehyung had made it clear he was too busy to start a family, so we were careful. i knew what was happening to our relationship, i wouldn't have been so stupid.

my heart races as i think of every possible excuse as to why this couldn't possibly be real, until three very loud knocks at my door have my attention pulled elsewhere.

i quickly dry my tears and wash my hands before opening the door to a smug looking taehyung, whose expression falls almost instantly as he sees me.

“why-”

“here's your stuff.” i interrupt him, not wanting an interrogation, or any interaction at all from him. it's his fault after all, why i'm in this mess in the first place.

he takes the box from my hands before digging my bracelet out of his pocket and handing it to me, “here's this, sorry again.”

i nod my head as i take it from his hands. i begin to back away and close the door but he forces it open, “w-wait y/n-”

i scowl at him and whine, “taehyung what do you want from me?”

he grins and steps forward, inviting himself back into his old home, “i smell coffee, and yours is so much better than the stuff we have at work, can you make me a cup please? for old times sake?” he smiles sweetly, knowing i can't turn him down.

i silently step aside, closing the door behind him as he heads straight for the kitchen and i walk slowly behind him.

“love what you've done with the place.” he says to be funny, staring at where our photos used to be, which i replaced with pictures of my dog instead. “you really do love him more than me don't you?”

i scoff, “you love your job more than either of us.”

he gives me a forced grin but doesn't reply. the only noise in the house being the rumbling of the coffee machine as we both eagerly wait for it to finish.

“i'm gonna..” he starts awkwardly, “go to the bathroom.”

i nod, completely zoned out while staring at the coffee.

i grab a cup from the cupboard, pouring it in and dropping in two ice cubes to cool it down. i turn around and place it on the counter he was once leaning against and wait for him to come back.

not a second layer he comes rushing back into the kitchen, looking pale as a ghost. he stares at me, unable to get a single word out.

“what's your problem?” i ask, his expression is almost laughable.

“y-you left something in the bathroom.”

i narrow my eyes at him confusedly, then realizing he may have seen the pregnancy test i had sat on the counter before i opened the door.

“n-no thats not-”

“not yours? you would tell me if you were pregnant right?” he asks while walking towards me. i open my mouth to agree but he interrupts me again, “is it mine? did you already have sex with someone else? i can't believe this.” he runs his hands through his hair as he takes a deep breath in, “what the fuck is happening y/n.”

i stare blankly at the floor. i hadn't gotten this far. i had no idea what i wanted to do about this, i had no idea if i wanted him to be involved at all, i had no idea if he'd even want to be involved.

“i-i just found out.” is all i can safely tell him.

he just sighs, pulling out a chair from the kitchen table but not sitting in it, instead he pulls me over, sitting me down on it before sitting beside me. “it's mine isn't it? i-i mean,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “you didn't hook up with someone this soon right?”

i can't muster up the courage to look him in the eyes. unsure of what exactly i was afraid of, possibly the one thing i've always wanted, a real family of my own, being torn away from me so quickly if he tells me he wants nothing to do with this.

“i-it is.” it comes out as a whisper, my voice betraying me before my emotions do, feeling my tears fall again for reasons unbeknownst to me.

“and you just found out? when?”

i look at him for a split second, his expression unreadable as always, “just before you got here.”

“you haven't even been to the doctors yet?” i shake my head. he rises from his seat, grabbing his coffee and phone that were waiting for him on the counter. i start to think maybe this was it, he was finally leaving.

that is until his hand is out in front of me, asking me to take it. i look up at him and he tilts his head, “let's go.”

i take his hand and let him lead me towards the door, putting on my coat for me, “go where?”

he just chuckles, “to the doctors, i want to make sure my baby is healthy.” his behavior confuses me deeply but i let him continue regardless, helping me slip my shoes on as he pauses before opening the door again, “you included, y/n.”

he takes notice of my deeply muddled expression and stops what he's doing. he grabs my hands and looks me in the eyes, attempting to portray his sincerity before he's even spoke, “you don't have to take me back, but if you're gonna go through with this, i can't let you do it alone. even if all you do is yell at me and call me names the whole time, i'll take it all.” he pauses, and i can tell he's struggling to express himself.

“you don't have to taehyung.” i tell him.

“i love you more than anything y/n, i know you don't believe that, you always tell me i'm married to my work and i admit i put it first before you, and i'm sincerely sorry for making you feel ignored and unloved, but i've been trying to tell you this and prove it to you ever since you told me you wanted a divorce. i did it because i want to be able to spoil you and our children, but i went overboard with it and it costed me the greatest thing to ever happen to me in my entire life, so please, let me make it up to you.”

i stare at him, waiting for him to show any signs of regret or dishonesty but he's confident. he smiles and reaches a hand up to my face to wipe away my tears, “i love you.”

i sniffle and look away, “don't say that now.”

“but i mean it.”

i shake my head, “if i could think rationally right now, i would probably be kicking your balls for putting us in this situation.”

my comment does as it's intended to, making us both laugh aloud and ease the mood. i don't want to be mad anymore. i'm tired of being upset and exhausted all the time. i want my husband back, but not because of this.

“taehyung, i really don't want my child to grow up with parents who can't stand to be around each other, who do nothing but bicker endlessly. that's exactly what i had and i can't bring an innocent child into that environment so all i ask is that you prove you've changed. you stay for me, because you love me and you're sorry.”

"i am! i will, i promise.” he says with no hesitation, stepping closer and leaning down, “c-can i kiss you? please?”

“once.” i tell him, knowing i was way too needy and hormonal to say no to him.

he wastes no time giving me a sweet and short kiss to show his gratitude, pulling away with a stupid smile that makes me laugh.

“if they have your smile we’re in trouble.” i tell him, plenty aware he knows it's my favorite thing about him.

“my cute boxy smile.” he mocks me, “the ladies will be all over him.”

“or her.” i correct, not wanting to call it so soon.

he opens the door and slings an arm around my shoulders, “regardless, i'll love them as much as i love you.”

i eye him, “more, i hope.”

he places a gentle kiss on the top of my head and guides me by my arm as he walks me to the car, “i'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚

hello and thank you for reading! if u enjoyed i have a masterlist in my description with all of my current works listed and ordered! have a wonderful day <3 - ara :)

masterlist | taglist

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transgothicgenre · 1 year

Text

collection of my favorite alpha couple related quotes

"You have, uh, memories of the house that you first gained consciousness in, as a child, you think, when was the first time I was really conscious of my house? Even if you grew up in a hateful house, it's probably a nice memory, this awareness of your surroundings and that's where you belong. Now, the negative of that image, right, where you're conscious of where you are for the first time ever and you become conscious at the exact same instant that it's really not where you want to be? That's where these two people live."

tallahassee (the song)

"This couple that, that was supposed to get a divorce and then didn't"

going to dade county

"This is another one of those little songs, uh, about two people who I love so much that I continue to cause them to harm one another, uh, and I imagine them in my mind cursing me, but they can't do it without my permission, 'cause they're my people, so. It's a very old song. I hope someday they'll forgive me, but I suspect that they won't."

"This song also has a message, but it's a sort of simpler message. And that is: if the person that you live with and love is trying to kill you, it's best to leave."

spilling toward alpha

"This used to be my favorite song to play. It's one of those songs about this couple that I dreamt of that, that was divorcing. Always they'd be divorcing. If you go over to their house, they were open about it, in my mind, you'd go and say, 'hey, you guys, what's up with you?' 'Ah, you know, I'm-a divorce his ass, fuck this guy,' and then he'd be like, watching TV, and go, 'She says that all the time and she's not going anywhere, she knows where the booze is at,' and then you say, 'Wow, what time is it getting to be? I suppose I'll be on my way. It was --' and you lie… 'It was good to see you both, I miss you, so come on down some, sometime,' and meanwhile, when you leave, you pray to the God in whom you don't believe that they will never, ever drop by your house, because they'll fuck that shit right up. I have an affection for this couple. I wish they would get the divorce that they need, but it never seems to happen for them. I'm in control of the situation, so there must be something wrong with me, that I won't give them what they want."

alpha sun hat

"…I don't quite get what is going on in this song. Most of the time I have a pretty good idea of what's going on with the people, and I don't really know what is behind the refrigerator in this song. I will someday find out."

alpha gelida

“This song is about a house in southern Florida where a lot of bad things happen because of the two people who are making the bad things happen to each other. They really do love each other but they’re not really entirely clear [on] how to express that. So, they try to kill each other.”

southwood plantation road

"This is a song about how you find yourself in a relationship that's really not going where you had hoped it would go, and you say to yourself in the seventh year of that relationship, 'Why am I still hanging out here? You know, that's seven years off my life, I only have so many on this planet. That's seven years I've given to this -- well, I'll stick it out another seven, see what happens.' I'm here to tell you that you don't have to give those second seven, really, seven seems like a fair point at which to start cutting losses. But you know and I know that you're not even here tonight if you're into the whole concept of cutting losses."

"There’s a Led Zeppelin song that goes ‘Good times, bad times, you know I had my share.' Well, this song takes out all the other stuff that was confusing the narrator, the parts about the good times and the having your share. This song is about having more than your share, more than everyone else’s share, bad times coming into your house and overflowing out onto your porch. Bad times. Bad times. Bad times! Game Shows Touch Our Lives!"

game shows touch our lives

"This here is a song. That I want you to sing...to the one you love. When the time comes, you will know when the time comes. You won't like it. You won't feel like singing. I want you to remember, when the time comes that I told you this thing would happen. It will make you look crazy. There's nothing like looking crazy to give you the edge."

(two years later in a different venue) "Anyway, if you like this song and you know the words, I should like for you to sing it like you mean it, all of the words, because there may come a day, there may come a day when you're gonna need the words to this song. You'll be sitting there, going, 'What has become of my marriage? This blows!' I want you to remember that I gave you a little something that you could sing, because when that time comes, there won't be much to do besides sing."

no children

"This is a song about encroaching dread."

peacocks

"I wonder if you guys saw this commercial that they used to play when I lived up in Iowa. I didn’t see it anywhere else, I don’t know if it was nation wide, or what, but, um, they use to have this commercial they would show that was like, you know… laughs it was the best thing. I hope you saw it! But I don’t know if it was maybe a Iowa and Minnesota get-people-to-go-to-the-lakes thing– though I assume you have lakes down here also. But it was a kid’s voice– oh, this is going to be a long story, hold on– It was a kid’s voice and reminded me of one of the best songs of the 80s, that great decade the 80s that brought us such great music as “Dear Mister Jesus.” Did you ever hear “Dear Mister Jesus?” It was a song sung by a five-year-old, and it was that sort-of Christian pornography, that like, you go, “Oh, the kid said Jesus. What could be better?” And if you are like a guy who is going to Mega Death shows in Long Beach in his spare time, you look at “Dear Mister Jesus” with wonder and reverence and go “Aw, this is the best time to be alive!” because “Dear Mister Jesus,” right? But it was clear that they had asked the kid to talk dumber then she actually was and she sings like: “Dear Mister Jesus, I don’t know what to do” and it was like that, right? So this commercial I’m thinking of that ran in Iowa, was the “Dear Mister Jesus” voice, but the kid was asking his father to take him fishing. This is the sort-of thing that weighs very heavily on Midwestern Dads, I think. If you are a kid listening to this, and you want to just rip out your Midwestern father’s heart, then I suspect asking him to take you fishing on a day he can’t do it is a good way to do that. But the commercial went: “Take me fishing, because I won’t be nine forever!” “Take me fishing, because there’s only one sunset a day!” And I would watch this video and go “Oh man, Dear Mister Jesus has gone fishing, this is cool!” Right? I want you to bear those noble sentiments in mind as I play an unreleased song from Tallahassee about the day the guy gets drunk and goes fishing."

alpha chum gatherer

"This is a song - takes place in California - it was on the first CD - it's about that moment in which you know it's not going to get any better, but you want to prove to somebody exactly how strong you are."

orange ball of hate

#the mountain goats #alpha couple #the alpha couple #sorry for how long this is. i like them #post

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xxaraaq · 1 year

Text

𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧

Sorry that I didn't post anything for like three months, but it dont matter anymore, cus I'm here now

MILF! Ochako Ururaka x Black!Fem!reader

┍━☽【❖】��━┑

At the ripe age of thirty two, Uruaka Ochako would consider herself to be a great mother. But with her boys, nine, seven, and four – she’s so fucking tired. Tired of not being able to catch a break, tired of not being able to live her life as a young woman, and really fucking tired of having a man child of a husband who couldn’t give less of a shit about her and their kids.

She’s tried to be okay with it, but she just cant be. But when she voices it, all she's met with – ‘it’s not like he's cheating on you, he probably just doesn’t find you attractive anymore.’ or ‘just lose some weight or offer to do more, he’s obviously distant for a reason’. And she’s tried all these things, so, so many times. But nothing ever worked, so she’s just given up. And maybe she just had shitty friends, but the two of you first, she had actually felt something.

“So wait – you're telling me that you haven’t had sex in how long?” You whisper, choking on your drink “Eleven months.” She sighs, taking a drink of her mimosa – she hadn’t touched her husband intimately in almost a year, and it was getting to her. She was getting antsy, and she was getting tired of pleasuring herself on her own.

“I would commit suicide, like, actually kill myself. Are you ok?” and Uruaka knows that she’s not, but there isn't anything she could really do.

“I’ve been so stressed out that I don’t know what today is, I’m not even joking.” She says, the fatigue apparent on her figure

“I seriously don’t know why you won’t get a divorce, I will literally move in with you to help out with the kids if that’s what it takes.” And your serious, the look in your eyes directed right at her

“If I could just get one day, that’s all I would need.” She groans, dreaming of the day where that happens

As the conversation goes along, her husband, m/n, comes up. “Hey honey, me and the boys are gonna go watch the game at Mikey’s house. I’ll be back later.” He says, turning away soon after. With an eye roll and shooing hand, she sends him off with malice in her heart.

“He really gets on my fuckin nerves.” You say, side eyeing him as he walks away with his friends.

“I genuinely don’t care anymore.” Ochako says, getting up to go to the kitchen

Following after her, you close the door behind you, pulling down the blinds

“What’s wrong?” You say, opening your arms for an embrace

“I am so sick of him.” She says, a shake in her voice

“I know baby, I know.” You say, rubbing soothing circles on her back

“I get that he doesn’t care about me, but can he at least fucking act like it.” She cries into your chest

“He doesn’t deserve you, not like I do.” and she knew it was true

“Lemme make you feel better, how bout’ that?” You ask, pulling back from her

“W-what?” She, wiping the tears from her face

“You heard me, Ochako. Let me help you, you need it.”

The both of you know that anyone could walk in at any moment – but that didn’t stop you from kissing her – nor did it stop her from kissing you back. By the time she gained her senses back she was in her shared room.

“We can’t, everyone’s outside.” She says in between kisses

“We already are, and who cares, no one’s gonna come in here.” You shush her, attacking her neck with hickeys

She moans, grasping your hair in her hands – she doesn’t know why she keeps denying herself, she can’t even remember the last time she came by someone else’s touch.

“Fuck.” She moans, the feeling of your hands traveling over her breasts driving her mad.

You pull down the top of her light blue sundress, exposing her front to you.

“So pretty.” You groan, capturing her breast in your hand, rolling her nipple in between your fingers

Ochako whimpers at the feeling of your fingers toying with her, her getting wetter by the second.

“Take it off for me, yeah?” You ask, tugging at hem of her dress

Nodding, she quickly strips down, throwing it to a random spot in the room.

“So fucking gorgeous.” You utter, hands finding rest on her hips

“Don’t be weird.”She says, wrapping her arms around neck

She kisses you – passionately – as you lead her and yourself onto the bed. You suck on her neck as you make you way down to her thighs, lifting one onto your shoulder.

“Can I?” You ask, playing the fabric of her underwear

“Don’t ask me stupid questions.” She groans, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you smile

Taking her answer as a yes, you pull her panties off onto one ankle, licking a slow stripe up her slit. You rub slow circles on her thighs as you continue your assault on her cunt.

“Ohhhhh fuckkkk” She whines, throwing her head back in her ecstasy

“Tastes so good.” You mutter into her, the vibrations of your voice going straight to her core

She doesn’t know why she hasn’t let you touch her sooner – the fluid movements of your tongue making her delusional. But the best part is, all she has to do is sit there and take it.

You massage your thumb around her puckering hole before inserting two into her. “Shitttt” she mewls, holding both her legs up to her chest

“I can’t, s’ too much.” She slurs, her legs shaking as you slurp and suck up her excess

“You can do it mama, cum for me.” You say, moving your fingers in and out of her at an even quicker pace

“Shittttttttt” She screams, squirting onto you and the sheets

“Damn, I didn’t know you could squirt like that.” You say, licking her off of you

“I, I didn’t know either.” She exhales, letting her legs drop onto the now wet sheets

“Uh uh, why’d you let go.” You say, rubbing slow circles on her now puffy clit

“W-wait, we can’t keep going, everyone’s still outside.”

“And they’ll stay outside, I never said I was done with you. Eleven months is a long time y’know; I can’t let go now.” You explain, Entering her once more

Ochako moans as she thinks about what she got herself into. And she really, really hopes that everyone knows exactly where the bathroom is.

┕━☽【❖】☾━┙

Yayy I post. Dont expect me to post until summer now byee.

-Nene

#Nene #boku no hero academia #urakara ochako #bnha ochaco uraraka #mha ochako #x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha x fem reader #mha x black reader

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jarofstyles · 1 year

Text

Sugar Sugar 7

Hellllo my lovelies. Long time no see. I’ve been slow w updated for them but here we are! Part 7 to Sugar Sugar!

Check out our Patreon!

Warnings: mention of witchcraft, tarot, metaphysical, etc

—-

H: I’m on my wayyyy. I’ve got a box of donuts for you and Delilah.

Sugar: you’re a godsend. Get here quicker xo

Harry felt a bit guilty about the fact he hadn’t been to her shop yet.

His girlfriend’s shop.

Girlfriend.

Motherfucking girlfriend.

The pep in his step increased as he approached the door to his damn girlfriend's store. His lover. They had made it official two days ago, and he had called his mother like a damn little boy. Telling her that the girl he was seeing had agreed and that she would ABSOLUTELY love her. Ever since the divorce, his mother had flourished and was very into yoga and stuff like that- so he figured she would get a kick out of Y/N Whenever she came down to visit.

It was a purple painted door. A window in the front with ‘Canyon Moon’ in a cool font with a neon crescent moon right next to it. It was adorable. There was a painting in the display window showcasing what he now knew to be amethyst and a full moon skillfully painted on the glass. There were crystals laid out on the bottom and some products showcased along with wind chimes and sun catchers gently swaying in the natural air. The chime of a bell sounded as he ironed up the door, and Harry was a bit lost.

It was magical, pun absolutely intended.

The smell of incense he couldn’t place hit him first, making his nose tickle just a little bit as he wandered inside of the shop. It was clean and quirky, the shelves lined with thousands of beautiful shiny crystals that he truly couldn’t even begin to name. All colors of the rainbow, sorted by color and tiny little handwritten signs giving ‘properties’ and names with the pronunciation. That would definitely save him some embarrassment.

He heard soft music playing, it had to be Stevie Nicks. Her raspy voice floated through the air as he heard the slight freak of the wood floor while his feet carried him further inside.

To the left was a room with velvet curtains acting as a door. Sparkling velvet, to be precise. Crystal mobiles hung from the curling every so often along with faux vines- or what he believed to be faux. The plants in the windows were absolutely real and thriving. Green and vibrant, large leaves and impressive height. The wall opposite had packets and jars of dried herbs and flowers. Why? Harry didn’t know, but he found them to be interesting. What did people use them for? He’d have to ask Y/N.

In the back corner were books and incense. He could see the burning one going and showing smoke coming out of a little ceramic ‘mushroom house’, making him smile as he approached it. Multiple books on spells and types of witchcraft, along with astrology and crystals lined the shelves. To Harry, it felt like something out of a fantasy novel. Coming to the healer's domain, all of that. He was 99% sure he had seen a shop like this while he played.

His gazing and awe was interrupted by arms wrapping around his waist from behind, a soft kiss pressed to his shoulder blade covered by the fabric of the Harley Davidson tee shirt covering his torso. Chills littered his skin as he felt lips ghost him, the warmth of her presence making him relax into its hold. It was almost immediately that his heart began to thunder, his stomach a mess of sparkles that only Y/N was able to conjure up.

Witchcraft.

“What do you think, Handsome?” She rested her hand on his tummy, making it jump slightly. He never got tired of her touch, especially like this. Intimate. Allowing him to feel desired. He was thriving in this moment, a stupid grin on his face as he placed his larger hand over top of hers.

“S’unreal.” He muttered. “Like something from a video game. Or movie. I’m in awe.” Truly he couldn’t believe he hadn’t been here before. He felt a bit sad that he hadn’t. She had spent quite a bit of time at the bakery and this was only the first time he had stepped into her own place. There was a comfort in the place that H found to be….a little odd in a good way. He partially attributed it to the fact the shop was so entirely Y/N. Everything reminded him of her as he looked around. The colors, the scent, even the tone of wood. It screamed Y/N and he wanted to stay in here and soak up whatever feeling he got in it.

Y/N smiled with her face smushed against his back, nuzzling betweeen the shoulder blades. There hadn’t been an expected reaction to the shop, but this was better than she had hoped. The actual awe in his voice and watching him from the shadows as he had looked around, picking up things and putting them down. It wasn’t fake, or to please her. He really did find it cool. It helped a part of her that had been a little bit embarrassed from the past where she had been ridiculed and degraded for liking the things she did. To anyone else, they were just pretty rocks. Hell, even to her they could be. That didn’t mean she liked people making fun of them.

“I’m glad you like it.”

His hand rubbed over the back of hers, yet again unable to keep his own hands away when she was in close proximity to him. “I do. It’s sick.” She was too far away, though. Grabbing her hand, he tugged slightly and pulled her away from behind him, making her slide around the front.

There was no wasting time. Now that Harry had his permission to kiss her, his large hands cupped her hot cheeks and tilted them upwards, pressing his lips to hers in an affectionate greeting. It was a chaste kiss, but he elongated the peck because he simply didn’t want to pull away. Giving a few tiny kisses to the bottom lip and one single to the top, tearing his forehead against hers. “Hi, beautiful girl.” Thumbs stroked her cheekbones, a dopey smile on his face as he pulled back slightly to get a look at her.

Her beauty caught him off guard every time. Making his heart stutter in his chest, his stomach twist in those flocks of butterflies. This woman was his girlfriend, the twinkle in her eye was for him and the breathtaking grin was caused by his own actions. Pride swelled in his chest, even more grateful that she had allowed him to be in her life like this. “Missed you.”

It hadn’t even been that long. She had seen him at the bakery yesterday, but he had been swamped with orders for cupcakes for a birthday party. Y/N had spent her lunch break helping him ice the cupcakes, but ultimately she seemed to be a distraction rather than help. He had a hard time being in the same room as her and not having his hand on her.

“Dork.” She teased, reaching up to tweak his nose lightly. “Missed you too, though. I’m glad you’ve come over. The space could use some good energy.” Her ringed fingers brushed over his chest, straightening out his tee shirt. “I have some readings booked with both me and Delilah. She’s behind the curtain with a client now.” She nodded her head in the direction of the velvet curtains.

“Readings?” He had seen the advertisement for readings on her shop instagram, but didn’t know exactly how it worked. “How do they work, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Y/N beamed at the question. For once, a man she was dating actually seemed interested. Genuinely curious. To her, it didn’t matter if he got it nor if he believed in it, but it would be really nice if he did. It was just nice to see him take interest in things she did.

“Come.” She took his hand and crossed to the back where she had her own reading space free. Pulling back the curtains, she exposed a cozy space. The velvet curtains covered each wall except for the one with the window, which was cracked open just a little bit. A plethora of crystals lined the windowsill and herb bundles were drying above the top, hanging from the ceiling. She could see his confusion, a little laugh coming from her.. “They’re protection bundles. The properties of the herbs help with keeping the space clear from any negative energies and things like that.” She squeezed his hand, motioning for him to take a seat on the black velvet armchair in front of the table.

“It’s really like a movie.” He mumbled, looking around the room with another feeling. Almost like he was in a dream or something along those lines. “It’s so pretty. I hope. that isn’t weird to say or anythin.” Harry was tredding lightly as he commenting, hyper aware that he wanted her to be happy and comfortable with his words. This was her thing, her business, and he wanted to say the right things.

“Not weird at all. Don’t worry, love.” Her hands grabbed two different embroidered pouches, placing them on the tablecloth in front of him. “I’m going to do a one card pull for you. You can choose to take what resonates with you. I’ll just have the deck call to you and you can choose which one you want.” The punches were adjusted for him to look at. One was a soft looking leather pouch with an image of a wolf howling at the moon in black thread embroidered on the front. The other, the one he felt more drawn to, was a royal purple cotton pouch. It had the moon and sun along with flowers scattered across the fabric. Something about it just felt comfortable.

“This one.” His finger pointed to it, feeling a little nervous but excited all at the same time. He had never imagined getting a reading. In all honesty, things like this had always been a bit scary to him. The idea of the future, knowing about it, and if it said something bad to him, that was something that unnerved him. With Y/N however, he felt more comfortable than ever. Of course the nerves from his past feelings had lingered, but it was mostly something along the lines of excitement now.

“Okay. Let me light some incense for it.” She leaned back, standing to grab her chosen Sandalwood and lighting it on the tray that rested on the windowsill. “I tend to do it because it helps clear the space and the energy around us. Makes it less dense. I like a clear space for reading. It’s easier for me to focus and not feel so heavy.” Y/N knew Harry was naturally curious and she could feel his eyes on her back.

He was curious, Yes, but he was also admiring the midnight blue dress she wore today. It clung to her a bit tighter than normal, nipping at her waist and letting him see her curves in a way that made his mind wander. It was… a new favorite of his for sure. The man was trying to focus only on her actions, though. This was a new one for him, and he already knew Y/N was probably the best reader.

She sat in front of him with a smile, placing the leather pouch back on what he knew was some sort of crystal plate. “Okay.” She took the cards out, tapping them three times on the table. “Hello, cards. Thank you for giving us guidance today. Been a while since I’ve used you, I’m sorry.” She murmured quietly. “Makes sense that the prettiest boy chose my prettiest deck.”

Harry flushed at her words. The prettiest boy chose the prettiest deck? Oh, she was too good. “They’re hand drawn, have gold foiled accents. One of my favorites, actually. Most people and the cards don't choose each other but I had a feeling you’d want this one.” Intuition came in strong yet again. “I always tell people that the card you choose in a drawing like this means what makes sense. The cards are tools for us. Because you’re my boyfriend, I’ll tell you that I do believe in the cards. I think they’re important, but every deck has a personality of their own. This one is classy, romantic, sweet. You didn’t choose my sassier deck, but I think that’s good for a first time.”

Harry was trying to keep up. It was intimidating, but his mind did go a bit fuzzy. She called him her boyfriend again, and it made him abso-fucking-lutely giddy. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. God. He would never ever get tired of hearing it come from Y/N’s mouth. “Okay. I think i got it…” he muttered, watching her spread the deck out on the table like a fan. Her shuffling skills were insane, and it made him side note to always have her do that for him if he was playing poker dealer. “So…” he looked at the cards, all face down and then at her. “Do I just pick?”

“Yes.” Y/N had to giggle, looking at his face. Harry was obviously a bit intimidated but it was adorable. “There’s no pressure. Go with your gut. Close your eyes, let your hand hover over until you want to stop. Then pull the card out.”

It sounded simple enough.

Doing as instructed, his eyes fluttered shut and he cleared his throat, letting his hand hover over the cards. Back and forth, he went, until. He felt a tiny buzz in his fingers. It caught him off guard slightly, a nervous chuckle leaving him as he placed his hand down and slowly pulled the card out.

Y/N watched him in interest as he opened his eyes, looking down at the card before he turned it over.

“Two of… cups?”

Y/N could have choked.

Two of cups.

“The two of cups… Well, it usually comes about when you’re in a new state of heart. New relationships.” She could feel her cheeks burning. The excited nerves returning to her tummy, looking as Harry observed the card and the image of two golden challises pouring into one another. “It’s… it’s encouragement card. It means a pairing is right, balanced.. That you can give and take evenly, building each other up and making each other happy. People refer to it as the love card. There’s another card called the lover, which is self explanatory but…” She paused, taking a little breath as the smile she couldn’t help repressing grew.

“I’m getting the feeling that it’s something you’ve maybe needed confirmation on? Maybe not the relationship itself, but your contributions to it. It’s a confirmation that you are the other half, an equal. It’s a good thing.” Y/N had never given a partner a reading before so it was all brand new to her, and thr fact that that particular card was chosen felt like the spirits teasing her. Yes, it was Harry’s reading, but it involved her. “Maybe in past relationships you’ve felt like you were pouring too much into it, and the other person wasn’t giving you their all back.” She muttered, looking down as she observed the card. “Something about half empty cups. That seems to bug you. You give and give and give until you’re empty and it shouldn’t be that way. Perhaps it’s been because you’d been wanting something different from the other people you attempted to build connections with. But this card signifies some equality. Level ground. A good opportunity.”

There was a shyness that overcame her as he let out a breath.

It was weirdly spot on. Harry had always been the type to overgive in relationships. He poured all of himself into it, expecting the other person to match his energy- but it never happened the way he had wanted it to. With Y/N, all of it felt so incredibly authentic. He never felt like, at least this far, he was the only one putting effort in. She texted him frequently, she had opened up, and even now. Giving him this reading.

“I mean- yeah.” He murmured. “I hope this isn’t offensive, but it’s a little freaky. Sometimes people say that I give off an air of like… disinterest. But when I care, I care a lot. And it feels like in the past when they see that, they take and don’t give. So I’d say that’s accurate. However…” he gently took her hand into his own, rubbing his thumb over the back of her own. “I feel different with you. Like you said- level ground. Give and take. Especially with all the things you’re teaching me. Been my girlfriend for only a short while, but I enjoy every moment. I hope you know that.”

Harry made her flustered a lot, but moments like this especially. He spoke to her with an ease that had her nervous, intimidated at how good he was with wording things.

“It’s just weird how you got all of that from the card. I like it.” He released her hand, snapping a photo of the card and placing his phone back into his pocket. “Wanted to remember and capture that for when we’re a while down the line.”

Maybe they’d end up married one day. Who knows? That was always the hope in a relationship. Right?

“I came to check out the shop and see my gorgeous girlfriend. Steal some kisses. I left some sweets on your checkout desk… but I missed you.” He stood up from his spot, gently urging her up and coaxing her back into his arms. There was little resistance when he tilted her chin back up, lips pressing against hers chastely. The tiny sparks shot up his back as he hummed contently. Harry would be stealing these as often as possible. “Need to take some design advice from you. Looks incredible everywhere you turn. My place is still a bit bare bones.”

Y/N lifted her hand to stroke his cheek, feeling the stubble brush her fingertips while he spoke. Admiring him while she listened, struck with an idea. He could see it on her face as she lit up, brows rising at the mention of design advice. “Really? You’d want my advice?”

Her design style was more on the eclectic side but she had a weakness for Pinterest, HGTV, and home Reno and deco tv shows. The shop had its set theme but it was still very much her own personal style.

“Of course. You did amazing here.” He teasingly squeezed her chin before dripping his hand to her shoulder, lightly massaging it as they stood in each other’s arms. The curtain was drawn, sure, but Harry had a hard time keeping hands off as it was. “You said something about it being thrifted the other day, right? Some of it?” He looked at the candelabra on the table, half melted candles adding to the mystical ambiance.

“Yes! I love it. Finding things secondhand is my speciality. I’m like… really good at it.” She whispered conspiratorially.

“She is.”

A new voice popped up and the curtain opened revealing Y/N’s best friend and coworker. Delilah was a beautiful woman with golden skin, a halo of dark curly hair and the most defined lips she had ever seen. Bangles clanged on her wrist and her long nails tapped against the curtain as she gave Y/N an impressed look, obviously approving of Harry’s energy.

“He’s good so far.” She narrowed her eyes, the cat-like gaze dropping to his hand on her back and back up to his face. It was intimidating. Harry wasn’t usually one to feel the need to look away, but the energy the woman had was strong. Different from Y/N’s, but similar in strength. It made him feel shy. “I’m watching you. But I haven’t had any bad visions from you. So…” she tossed her hand up. “it’s nice to meet you. The donuts are very good, by the way.” Harry went to reply but she continued talking, Y/N squeezing his cheek as a way to reassure him. It happened a lot. “She has the most incredible luck thrifting. I do think I’m good at manifesting what I want, but the two of us can look on the same shelf and she will find the most incredible item that I’ve not even seen. Unreal.”

Harry beamed in pride. It was a weird thing to be proud of her over, but anything he learned about Y/N was amazing to him. A thrifting extraordinaire, a skilled tarot reader, an excellent kisser, he was adding to her talents daily. “Oh really?” He mumbled.

“I do have good luck.” She said with a bashful giggle. “If you want, we can… I can help you with your place? We can make a mood board of what you’d want and maybe we can go thrifting together to find the stuff?” She asked softly, watching Delilah excuse herself from the corner of her eye. She was good at reading the room, her best friend. “We don’t have to, if you want to do it yourself. But I figure it could be a nice thing to do… an excuse to see you.” She dragged her foot on the ground, making him want to coo. The slight shyness at bringing up these ideas was endearing to him.

“Are you kidding me? I’d love that.” He expressed it as if it was obvious. “I’m shit with interior design for my own spaces. I knew what to do for the bakery because it’s been in my head for ages but my own space? I don’t know how to do all that.” Truthfully it was a bit pathetic. “I don’t have much at all.”

“It can’t be that bad, Harry.” She laughed, pulling away from him. “Come. Let’s make a plan.”

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losingallchill · 1 year

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hear me out. beeduo divorce angst, hurt/no comfort, slow burn

WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO ME IM THE BIGGEST BEEDUO HURT/COMFORT ENTHUSIAST EVER

just to spite you im going to make it hurt you're going to bleed this is a threat and im writing about tubbo being a widow now fuck u fuck you /lh

idk how i can make it slow burn in a quick oneshot but i will try my best o7 ... anyway here you are i suppose sobs

it's Way too long lmfao lmk if i should put it on ao3 or something ahaha i went overboard w this ask i think i accidentally made it angsty in the "mourning" way and not in the "arguments and divorce" way but like-

━━━━━━━

duo: ranboo + tubbo genre: hurt / no comfort ; slow burn warnings: swearing , angst , emotional breakdowns , insecurities , tubbo hates being alone , character death prior to fic , tubbo centric , character dream mention wc: 1.5k

it had become part of his day to drown his thoughts out at every chance that he got. from surrounding himself with loud, chattering friends, to working over twelve hours in the facilities at home, tubbo had always made his surroundings louder than the thoughts in his brain.

even when he cooked for his son, and cleaned for his husband, he occupied his mind with talking and rambling, to prevent himself from thinking. it was a habit now, a way of life.

when the news came, that his home would never be loud ever again, tubbo’s mind, for once, went blank. it was as if everything he’d ever thought of had disappeared from his brain entirely. the only sound that he could hear was a silence that was too loud, all too loud, and it filled every part of his body with panic.

technoblade, the man who had come to his house to deliver the news, gazed worryingly at him. tubbo almost wanted the other man’s eyes to be filled with his usual scorn, rather than warm pity.

his hands, which were nestled in welding gloves, began to shake, and tubbo hid them behind his back as he stared at technoblade, his mind blank.

could no one else hear it? the silence that was creeping into his house, and seeping into his chest?

“tubbo?”

there was a heavy hand on his shoulder, and tubbo flinched, stepping away from technoblade.

“don’t touch me.” he hated how his voice shook, and he hated the hollow creaking of the floors as he stepped back. everything was loud, and everything was quiet, and he wasn’t aware of anything he was doing, all he was aware of was the silence and the noise and his brain, and technoblade, standing before him, pitying him.

but even as tubbo retreated into his house, technoblade stayed outside, rustling through his pockets to find something else. the world spun, but somehow tubbo remained upright.

“he had this,” technoblade said, holding out a photograph, the sun shining off of it, so tubbo couldn’t make out what it had on it, without getting closer. “i- i don’t know who this kid is, but-”

“that’s our son.” tubbo snatched the photograph from technoblade, and glared at him. “why do you have a photo of our- of my son?”

“what- i just told you- ranboo gave it to me before he died!”

“who killed him?” tubbo demanded, the silence getting too awful to bear. he needed to keep talking. hell, he needed to keep technoblade talking. “what- what happened, exactly? tell me everything.”

technoblade looked pained, and tubbo felt, for the first time, that he wasn’t the only one missing ranboo.

of course, he wasn’t the only one to mourn ranboo. ranboo was easy going and kind to everyone. it would make sense that even a hardened criminal like technoblade, one who despised everything that tubbo used to stand for, would mourn for someone as sweet as ranboo.

“can i come in? it’s a bit of a long story.”

and tubbo realized he was standing in the doorway, and moved to the side, allowing his former enemy to grace the safety of his home.

his hands shook, and tubbo only just realized that he still had his gloves on, and his welder’s helmet, propped up on his forehead, and he went into the kitchen to lay them both on the counter, before putting a kettle on the stove- ranboo’s kettle, he mused, miserably.

everything in the kitchen was ranboo’s, and he trembled as he poured hot water into two cups, and spooned in ranboo’s loose leaf tea, and added ranboo’s sugar, and raised ranboo’s teacup to his lips.

the hot tea that flowed down into his stomach was so warm, and tubbo didn’t know why, but it made him tear up, and it made him shake and fuck he was alone.

his husband was dead, and his son was missing, and his enemy waited in the other room, a grudging mutual respect between them due to their mutual friend.

but ranboo wasn’t just his friend. and that was what made tubbo hurt the most.

he’d lost his partner, his other half, the one who was supposed to be there when he needed him. his minutes man, his husband, his son’s father, his ranboo, his ranboo, his ranboo.

technoblade was waiting patiently when tubbo was able to muster up the courage to walk in, without looking like a complete mess. he carefully set down ranboo’s teacup for techno, and took a seat on ranboo’s favorite chair.

part of tubbo didn’t want to hear about this. part of him wanted to pretend like it never happened, that ranboo was going to return, covered in ender particles, like they usually were after a long day, coming back from taking michael outside.

but the other part of tubbo wanted revenge. he wanted revenge for ranboo, he wanted to torture whoever had mercilessly killed his husband in cold blood. death was too good for the motherfucker who left him alone.

as technoblade recalled the events of what had happened, tubbo found his fists clenching, tighter and tighter. he could feel his nails digging into his palm, his ears twitching with anger.

“he was a fucking pawn.” tubbo muttered, after technoblade had fallen silent. “he- you could’ve saved him.”

and technoblade looked so sad that it made tubbo feel sick. “i tried. the warden- sam- had this idea that dream cared about ranboo. but obviously, he didn’t. it’s dream. he just laughed and ran off.”

his mind was swirling. “so. you. you watched my husband get murdered. you let out my best friend’s tormentor from jail. and you have the audacity to ask me if i want your help in rescuing my kidnapped son.”

tubbo was small, especially in comparison to technoblade, who easily towered above him, even when sitting. but in his quiet anger, he felt powerful.

“you expect me to come groveling to you for help? you executed me. i still have dreams, technoblade. the fireworks appear to me in my dreams. this-” he pointed to his bad eye, which tommy had helped him bandage up, after he came back to. “this was because of you.”

to his credit, technoblade didn’t speak.

“i hate you. i want you gone, i want you dead.” tubbo spat, rising to his feet. “get out of my house.”

and technoblade rose, silently. there was so much pity in his eyes, that tubbo felt like he was drowning. as he reached the porch, he turned around, looking down at him.

“i know how grief feels, tubbo.” technoblade told him, his gaze far away. “i’ve suffered through it time, and time again. you can blame me, if you want, but it won’t make it any easier on you. his real killer is still out there, and you can’t take him alone. you know where i live, when you want to find your son.”

tubbo replied by slamming the door shut. he could hear technoblade sigh on the other side, and the steps as the older man walked off.

retiring back into his house, tubbo collapsed to his knees, his chest burning. he still remembered ranboo’s smile as his second life was taken. he remembered when he had found ranboo in the water, after his first life was gone. the water burns had taken him weeks to patch up, and ranboo had told him, with bleary eyes, about how he didn’t remember anything that had happened.

he took the photo out of his pocket, and looked at it, looked at the photo that ranboo carried around. the room that it was taken in was just upstairs, and it was quiet now.

normally michael would be running around upstairs. the small echoes of his footsteps rang in tubbo’s head.

it was cruel, that both of them were taken from him. cruel that the universe had decided to punish him, who had nothing to do with anything that had been happening.

if prime really was up there, then prime, she must fucking hate him.

too much, this was all too much. tubbo hugged his knees close to his chest, the photograph slipping from his grasp and landing gently on the floor. his vision blurry with tears, he let out an awful sob.

and if ranboo was here, he would be patting his back, he would be okay, he would be alive and he would be tubbo’s.

but no one was there.

tubbo was sobbing in the middle of his empty house, his entire body shaking. his husband had left him, and before that, he had been locked up, and tubbo hadn’t noticed a thing.

gasping for breath, tubbo’s mind finally continued working. and it hated him.

because if he had noticed ranboo’s absence sooner, wouldn’t he be alive?

was it all his fault, for being wrapped up in his own work?

isn’t it his fault that he’s alone? what goes around comes around, after all. prime loves karma.

#ask #ctubbo angst #ctubbo #cbeeduo #dsmp oneshot #i'm sorry but it's what the people want baby !!

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icecoldwilliams · 2 years

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|| So this blog has been around for a few years now, thus I’ve had quite a few headcanons posted and buried under other content over the years. For both old and new lovely mutuals here, I’ll be posting a couple collections of both old and new headcanons over the next few days, and we’re kicking things off w family & childhood related ones! I hope you all enjoy, and as always mutuals feel free to ask questions relating to them whenever you’d like ~💜 ✲・*:･ﾟ✲･ﾟ:* ˚ₓ

𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 & 𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔:

Nina Williams was born on January 23rd, 1975 to retired IRA Assassin, Richard Williams and British Aikido Champion, Helena "Bell" Williams around County Roscommon, Ireland. Trained to follow in her fathers career path from the second she could hold a gun and with the exception of a few missions she assisted her father with prior, Nina 'officially' entered the assassin career field upon turning 18.

While never exactly the perfect mother, Helena was also never too fond of the idea of her daughters following in Richards footsteps. This combined with Richards treatment of Anna resulted in a rift in their relationship, that only grew over time. — Soon after Nina began her career, her parents divorced, and she moved out. Taking her younger sister with her to keep her out of the crossfire, and becoming her legal guardian until Anna's 18th birthday. Sharing an apartment with her until sometime between T1 and T2.

Since her mother thought it'd be important for her to have hobbies that didn't involve weapons or beating people into the ground, Helena taught Nina to play the piano and how to sing. If given the chance today, she can show that she still knows how and sings actually almost hauntingly well. (Inspired by how her voice actress is the lovely amazing Mary E McGlynn, aka the singer of the Silent Hill and the Medium soundtrack 💜)

Growing up she was an introvert. More confident than her younger sister, but never a fan of socializing unless she deemed it necessary. Due to his past, Richard homeschooled the both of them, so unsupervised trips outside of the house were rare, and potential friends even more so. —Thanks to a smoking habit she picked up on from him in her teens, most of her unauthorized trips were simply to the market to shop for cigarettes and clothes. (Which she'd promptly be ratted out for by Anna soon after.)

^ After their fathers death Nina made her first attempt to quit smoking. Then her second. Then her third, etc. Possibly one of the only silver linings to her cryoslumber and amnesia, it's a lot easier to quit unhealthy habits you don't recall having in the first place. She hasn't touched a single cigarette since, but she will unconsciously give a subtle nose scrunch when around smoke or an ashtray.

While never exactly "super nice" - of course she'd gladly tease and torment Anna any day or night - Nina was "nicer" prior to being kidnapped pre T1 and her cryosleep. She was less guarded, probably anxious, kinder and had a tad more empathy, to the point of (according to her T1 bios) considering quitting the assassin career all together. — And yes, while seemingly that side of her died with her ability to easily emote, get close enough to her and you may just find remnants. 👀💜

Her favorite nicknames for Anna when growing up were "Annie" or when she was feeling particularly mean "Crybaby Annie"

And possibly most importantly!! As it will likely occur fairly often in my writing, I do headcanon that the wedding fiasco was a set up. While lowkey I love the idea of Nina rolling up to this job listening to Billy Idol’s white wedding, after spending years going as far as to go completely underground and off the radar to get away from her younger sister, she wouldn't suddenly turn around and do something she'd very well know would sic Anna right back on her heels again. — When she took the job, all Nina knew was that her target was an ex G Corporation employee with ties to the Italian Mafia, and that he was getting married to another former G Corporation employee. It wasn't until she was making her escape and heard her younger sisters cries that she realized what she had just done. Now she willingly plays the role of the villain in Anna's story once again, hiding her shred of guilt all the while. A secret she will gladly take to her grave. Meanwhile white wedding is eternally ruined for her and she’s probably jamming to Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation somewhere instead.

#⁺˚*𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝒿𝑜𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔.*˚⁺ - Headcanons

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kn0ckkn0ckneo · 5 months

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not too long ago i went on a rant about how i changed my mind about having a cult because everyone was overwhelming me & then i deleted that rant, but i changed my mind again. i think i will. i think i'm destined to do it, actually. i've been doing a lot of astrology studying w/my birth chart, reading about destiny & life purpose points & well, i have Vx in the 5H w/scorpio. of course... of course! i've always been the peacemaker between people. always magic & the occult being involved. also, i "saved" my landlords marriage, according to him. he is no longer getting a divorce & is on a honeymoon stage w/his wife. now he has offered to build me a house & make sure i'm taken care of for the rest of my life LOL. my landlord is a really cool dude because we share pretty similar points of view & he also wants to build a new world. he's a bit too capitalist for the type of mission i'm on, but his intentions are good. i know there is a purpose for our encounter, so i will just need to keep my eyes wide open & a good listening ear. he also believes that in order to create a new world, we might have to destroy it. i'm okay w/that. do not put me w/a cancer or capricorn placement people because we WILL take over the world. but it's not about taking over, i know that. this community i plan on building will be an off grid self sufficient place. i have learned to love living in the desert because it's dry. i don't think i will like to live any place tropical because i don't like humidity. living in the woods could also be an option. solar panels are fucking expensive, but some way, somehow we will make it work. we might not even use solar panels. we might even do it old school. but, idk. we'll see. i need my internet & i need to play my music. in this community we will teach people about healing & the power they have within. we will teach them about love, the occult sciences & the matrix. these people, they will have to be chosen because we will be working with energy manipulation. a bit how i came here, now that i think of it. i feel like life is putting all the right people in my life. the other day i met this guy, a capricorn btw, he & his best friend whom is a scorpio thought about building a community based on free love. their idea is more sexual which i am not into, but they have a pretty good understanding of love & are very woke & self aware. idk why i've created this repulsive nature when i think about somebody touching me. i need to dig into that. but anyway, i just wanted to jot down my thoughts as of lately.

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asstrolo · 3 years

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Astrology notes while listening to mitski

(most of these are my personal theories and a compilation of tweets from other astrologers on astro tw, please feel free to add more if you want)

✷ I noticed a lot of capricorn dominant/stellium people like astrology, spirituality and tarot, it must be cause of their sidereal Sagittarius stellium, but it’s good that they like these kinds of things since it can help the person be less uptight

✷ Wanna know how your love life is gonna go this year? check your solar return, if you haven’t had your birthday yet, then put 2020 after your birthday instead of 2021, see if there’s any aspects in your 7H, for example, if your 7H in the Solar Return is aspecting Neptune, you might be more idealistic about your relationships in general, so be careful by not seeing something that’s not there! or aspecting Pluto, you’ll attract a lot of past lovers, you must also be careful not to fall into possessiveness or unhealthy habits in your relationships, this can count on Venus aspects too! but i personally think the 7H is more important

✷ Also, this has been brought up by another astro blog and they said if your Natal Chart 1H is in your 7H or 5H in your Solar Chart you’ll also be most likely to have romantic relationships that year or it will play an important role that year too (this post!)

✷ Most people that have Saturn in 7H tend to marry or get into really serious relationships rather young, it’s recommended for them to not get married until they have their Saturn return because they’ll probably get divorced (@iJadee on twitter talks a lot about this specifically, and i 100% believe its true, be careful!)

✷ Too much of virgo and libra in one chart can make someone incredibly giving and they get taken advantage of A LOT, they don't know how to put boundaries between being polite and being used, this is something they have to battle with for the rest of their lives because they probably have it since childhood, being the mediator of the family or the one everyone is counting on to be harmonious and happy and giving

✷ A person with plenty of 8H, specially in Venus, Mars and/or Saturn are NOT the type to have one-night stands, these people see sex as the ultimate sacrifice to let yourself be vulnerable with your partner, they probably were in very serious long relationships from a young age or are waiting until they get into a relationship, they are very connected to physical touch, that’s why they won’t give it to just anyone

✷ Also, now that we are in the 8H, this house doesn’t always necessary means sex or what they do with partners or their kinks, this house is way more than that, you’d figure people here will already know that, but not everyone knows. So I’ll tell you what this house means; death, heritage, your dark side, money and how you push yourself, transformation and what you can be scared of, this house has so many more meanings than sex

✷ Having gemini degrees (3°, 15°, 27°) in any planet, but specially MC and ASC, gives the person an innate ability to write and communicate, even if this person has hard aspects with Mercury, people are drawn to what they have to say, this makes someone really good at things related to marketing, or social media, publishing, selling things, etc (the original tweet!)

✷ Following the topic of degrees, if you have several degrees in a sign, like having them in Leo degrees, 5°, 17°, 29°, but not having any Leo in your chart, you can still feel like you relate to that sign to some extent, or having a lot of degrees in a same element (4°, 16°, 28° cancer degree, 8°, 20° scorpio degree, 12°, 24° pisces degree) gives a person more water attributes even if they don’t have water in their chart

✷ A Venus dominant person, or having Venus aspected the most on their chart makes a super artistic person, yes, they know how to create art and are good at it, but Mercury dominant people (especially with Venusian influence) are just as good, they add realism to beauty, they can make normal everyday things look poetic and inspiring, virgos get inspired by that, their routine and geminis by the people around them

✷ This also happens with Saturn dominant people, i think, personally, that capricorns have a way of connecting to their femininity or their softer, more delicate side, and this has nothing to do with gender, earth people normally have a gracious way of moving and a really soft, pretty way of interpreting art, a capricorn will make something like pain or obligations into art, talk about jobs and how money works and how everything is the same in a way that seems likeable, more dreamy

✷ Just gonna continue talking about capricorns lol, these people are very fatalist, they see complications and problems as something beautiful, most musicians that are capricorns or have this sign a lot in their chart use the pain that a situation has caused them and romanticize it, it's almost like they are happy difficult things happen in life to make them feel human

✷ libras don't get enough credit, these people are very ambitious and will do anything to succeed on whatever they want, they might even risk their own health for it

✷ Don't know what to gift your scorpio rising friend? Gift them a cat, scorpio risings have a Leo MC and, as we know, Leo and cats just go together, there is something about the connection a Leo placement and their cats have that nobody else ever will, don't be stupid, gift them a cat!

That's it's all for today folks, please don't send me your birth charts because i won't read them unless you pay me 🤠

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro notes #astro observations #aries #leo #sagittarius #virgo #taurus #capricorn #libra #aquarius #gemini #pisces #scorpio #cancer #degrees #degrees in astrology

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sparklingchan · 3 years

Text

Ruby Eyes|| Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Changbin

Word count : 7.3k+

Warnings : Mention of an accident, cuss words, divorce, a single kiss.

Genre : Romance, Soulmate AU, fluff, angst, best friends to lovers.

Description: Seo Changbin has done everything in his capacity to remove and replace you, yet fate seems to have different plans for the both of you.

A/N : Hello everyone ahhh I know it’s been so long y’all. So many things have been going on including exams and internships and I just didn’t have the patience to write :(( This one shot was written as a part of a collab event by wonderful, dear Ro!

I hope y’all like it!

"So, how's it being back, y/n?"

Your dad looks older now than he did the last time you saw him - probably two years ago, when you were leaving the country.

You missed him, really. You missed his warmth and his wisdom and how he was a sharp contrast to your mother, more calm and composed. Sometimes you wonder how your mother had even managed to get your custody after their divorce.

"Okay, I guess." You lie.

You didn't want your father to know how your feelings are all over the place, ranging from sadness to anger and longingness.

It's a weird thing to be experiencing such a cocktail of emotions when you'd convinced yourself these feelings had disappeared the day you left the old neighborhood, seven years ago. You had not felt any attachment towards the new neighborhood that you and your mother then went on to live for the next two years before you moved abroad for your studies. Yet you feel nostalgic now, as your father drives you through your old old neighborhood.

"How's mom?" He asks, taking a left to a road all too familiar to you, "Is she still going to therapy?"

You nod, "She's getting better, I think. The new country seems to have changed her. The therapy is helping too. She has many friends there now. "

At first when you were offered a job at one of the biggest publishing companies in the world, you were ecstatic. But everything soon died down when you found out you were posted at a branch in the country you'd left behind. It was your mother who'd convinced you to take it.

"I know you don't like being back, y/n." Your dad smiles sadly when he pulls over infront of your old house.The house that contains years of secrets, tears, lies and whispered confessions in front of the mirror stands in front of you, as grand and pretty as ever. It looks different but similar enough to make you tear up a tad bit.

"But I'm glad you're here. I really am." He says, "I renovated the house a little when you told me you were moving back. I hope it's okay."

You smile at the old man, wrapping your arms around him, "Thanks, dad. I missed you. I'm glad you're here, too."

He pecks your forehead, "I missed you, too, love."

Moving in doesn't take a lot of time since your dad had already set up everything. You just had to get some of your stuff and you were ready to kick start your stay.

That evening, your father leaves after making you promise to call him if anything happens at all and when the front door closes, you find yourself in the company of your old room.

You lie on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling as you hum an old tune to yourself. And without meaning to, you find yourself thinking about him; The man you hadn't seen or talked to for a whole seven years. The man who'd tried his best to stay in touch with you yet gave up when you didn't reciprocate the same.

A horrific realization then dawns on you,

He'd obviously replaced you now.

The familiar clouds of grief loom over you, threatening to engulf you any moment now.

No. Not now, please.

Getting up from your bed immediately, you shake your head as you make your way to the mirror- the mirror that had encountered more honest tears and smiles and words than any human ever had. You stare at your reflection as tears escapes your eyes, the bright red iris of your right eye staring back at you when you rub your tears off.

You shiver.

"Shit, I forgot to wear the contacts."

Quickly grabbing your lenses from your bag, you put them on, concealing the scary blood red color of your right eye. You take two long strides across the room and pulling your favorite black hoodie over your head, you walk out of the door.

By the time you manage to leave the house, it's already 10:30 in the evening. A quiet calmness has fallen over the town, as the shops and restaurants near the market square slowly start closing up. Your feet are as if on autopilot, taking you to that one place you know would still be open; Yang's Café.

And rightly so, the smell of freshly brewed coffee reaches your nostrils when you walk through their main door, past the group of chatty teenagers waiting outside. This place hasn't changed much, you realize, the brown and golden hues of the place and the vintage coffee cups collection in the far corner of the Cafe are still the same. The only difference is that you're no longer here with your best friend right after school, you are here all alone on an evening too quiet for your liking.

"Y/n? Is that you?"

When you turn around to face the owner of the voice, you are stunned.

"Jeongin?"

Jeongin's family has owned this Cafe for three generations now, from his great-grandparents, his grandparents, his parents and soon enough it'll pass down to him. As a kid, you remember often playing with Jeongin at the park and teaming up with him during quiz competition. He was always sweet and always smiley.

But the handsome young man that stands in front of you doesn't resemble the Jeongin you once used to know, not even a little bit.

"What..what happened to you!" You exclaim, taking his face in your hands, "Where are the braces! And the specs and wow, would you look at the blue hair!"

Jeongin can only let out a few giggles as you continue squishing his face and complaining how big he's grown in only over seven years.

The customers give you weird stares but only the heavens above know how genuinely happy you are to see Jeongin, albeit the fact you almost couldn't recognize him there for a second.

"What have you done to my child?" You mutter when you've finally calmed down and Jeongin takes you to your seat.

"I have a mother, y/n, thank you very much," he laughs, taking a seat opposite to yours, loosening the Barista apron around his torso, "And I missed you too."

You attempt to pinch his cheeks but he is quick to dodge.

"So how have you been?" He asks through giggly breaths.

You sigh, "I'm good... I feel weird being back here, honestly but I think I'll get used to it soon. What about you?"

"I've been good. Graduated a few months back, now I'm working here full time." He ushers over a waiter, "What would you like, y/n?"

You don't even think for a second while responding, "An iced Americano, please."

The waiter notes your order and walks away before Jeongin pinches your arm teasingly.

"Ouch. What?"

"Old habits die hard, huh? You always used to drink an iced coffee whenever we hung out here. I am glad to see nothing much has changed," Jeongin laughs, "You and Changbin, too!"

That one name sends your entire mind into a frenzy. Changbin. Seo Changbin. The love of your life. The man who you wouldn't even go to school without, the man who had saved you from a terrible accident, also the man who probably no longer even remembers you.

And you realise, despite everything, your heart yearns for him, still- for you wouldn't be in so much pain at the mention of his name otherwise.

Jeongin seems to have noticed your discomfort because he immediately changes the topic, "Anyway, you have to try our new chocolate cake. It's heavenly, I'm telling you."

Your reason to leave the neighborhood wasn't a secret, really. It was public knowledge that your mother had blamed Changbin for the fatal accident you almost had.

You're grateful for what Jeongin does, and try your best to engage in conversations about the neighborhood and old gossip you'd missed out on. Yet all you want to do is drive out of the damn Cafe and find changbin.

"Y/n?"

Or maybe, Changbin will find you.

Behind Jeongin, you see the blurry image of a man that had once caused you great misery yet you had never felt as happy as when you were with him.

"Hi..hi, Changbin." You stammer as you see the said man walk towards your table.

The seven years have as if done some magic on him, because the Changbin that walks towards you in no way resembles your high school best friend.

With thick buff arms, new ear piercings and silver jewelry gracing his wrists and fingers, you have a hard time actually accepting the fact that Seo Changbin is really there, in front of you.

"Been long, huh?" He grins, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and somewhere in the depths of your conscience, you realize it might have been your fault. You'd done everything in your capacity to break apart from this friendship, ignoring his calls, changing your number, even going as far as blocking him on all social media.

So, did you really expect him to welcome you back with open arms when you had caused him so much pain?

Jeongin brings an extra chair for Changbin to sit on and soon, the three of you are talking, maybe not like the old, happy days but it's still better than nothing. Changbin looks at you everytime you throw your head back and laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as his heart clenches in his chest.

You are really back home.

"So what have you been doing? I told you guys about me." Jeongin says, stealing a bite off of Changbin's cheesecake.

"Oh..you know," Changbin giggles, the tip of his ears turning a light pink shade.

You raise your eye brows in confusion.

"Been busy with the wedding and all."

Your heart drops. "Wedding? W-whose wedding?" You try to laugh it off but it's very evident from the way you're gripping your glass of iced Americano that it has affected you. A lot more than you actually thought.

"I'm getting married, y/n," Changbin smiles, "I'm so glad you could be around for the wedding."

Your grief stricken self has not gotten up from the bed since last night and you're thankful to Jeongin for finally checking up on you or else you would have gone deeper into the spiral hole of despair.

"Are you really going to be like this, y/n?"

You hate being miserable on the very second day of your stay. You hate depending on Jeongin. But you can barely move without bursting out into tears,so it seems as though there's no better idea than have someone take care of you at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin. " You manage to speak when he places a bag full of snacks and drinks on the dining table, "And thanks."

Jeongin chuckles, "Don't thank me, just yet. Guess who wants to meet up with you?"

Your eyes widen for a split second as you sit up on the couch, "Who?!"

No, he wouldn't, would he?

"It's not the person you think, y/n. Calm down." He laughs, "It's Bang Chan. Your senior, you remember?"

Oh, yes, the infamous Bang Chan. Shy smiles, dimples, curly hair, angelic eyes. Yeah, you remember the school's heartthrob. Very clearly.

"I was talking to him this morning and he said he'd be very glad to catch up with you again." Jeongin settles beside you, "It's not a date, y/n. He's an old friend. It wouldn't hurt, would it? You can't possibly sit here all day long crying about him."

You open your mouth to argue, but only air slips out and you realise you don't have anything to defend your miserable state with. You knew this was coming; when you cut off all ties with Seo Changbin, you knew this was coming.

Jeongin is right; you need to go out and meet new people.

You roll your eyes before pinching Jeongin's cheeks, "Fine. Give him my number."

He responds by pulling your cheeks as well.

The first day of work is weirdly gut wrenching.

You hadn't expected yourself to be this nervous but here you are, muttering under your breath as you make way towards the office.

"You'll be okay, y/n," you breathe in, "You've worked hard for this." And breathe out.

A few more minutes of self pep talking and you see all your hard work and expectations go down the drain as you feel a few droplets of rain fall onto your head. You look up and the dark, heavy clouds greet you.

Bloody brilliant.

You see the office goers around you jog quickly to the nearest shelter but you're short on luck today as your gaze falls on your watch and you realize you don't have enough time to wait for the rain to pass.

So you grab your office bag, cover your head with that and make a run for it.

The sole of your high heel shoes dig into your feet and a throbbing pain shoots through your body, as you wince. Note to yourself - never wear heels to office again.

You also secretly pray to the gods that your contact lens don't get washed off. Turning up at your new office on the first day with a blood red iris doesn't feel too fun, really.

"Do you need a lift?"

You had been so busy running to your office that you don't notice when a black car drives toward you and the driver rolls down the window, offering you a smile.

Seo Changbin.

Your heart skips a few beats.

"Y/n, do you need a lift?"

You blink back to reality when he clicks his fingers in front of you, "I-I mean if that's okay with you."

Changbin smiles, pointing to the passenger's seat, "Come on in."

When you're comfortably seated in his car, using his spare towel to wipe off the water from your face and hair, his questions start-

"So.." He steps on the break when the traffic light turns red, "How have you been?"

You look at the digital clock displayed on the cars' LED, and sigh. You're late to work and you're stuck in traffic with the one man you'd rather not be stuck in traffic with. Brilliant.

"Good." Your eyes are focused on the cars outside the window, "You?"

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again, "Fine."

Fine? Just Fine? Shouldn't he be over the clouds, now that the wedding is finally around the corner?

"Okay.."

"Actually, I meant to ask you earlier, y/n." He turns to you, a gentle smile playing at his lips, "I am throwing a party this weekend. I'd love it if you could come by. And I could introduce you to her."

You sink back into your seat, biting your lip, wondering if you want to ever know who her is. Your peace of mind is more important than meeting your ex crush's fiance, right? And if you do end up going to the party, whom would you hang out with? It's not like you know any of his rich friends and cousins and there's no way you'd hang out with Changbin and the said fiance.

You are about to respectfully reject the invitation when a sudden, seemingly good idea pops into your head.

Bang Chan.

You nod, shrugging, "Okay. I'll be there."

You clasp your hands together as he continues driving and you look out the window, unable to suppress the bubbling excitement.

"Great, then." He replies, suspiciously.

The evening of the party finally arrives, much to your dismay, you find yourself seated next to Chan. He's just the same as the guy in your memory; a gentleman.

"You look pretty, y/n." He had greeted you as he held the car door open for you, "I'm glad we could meet up."

His words turn your cheeks into a darker shade of red but your heart doesn't beat quite as furiously as you'd expect it to.

Muttering a small thank you, you seat comfortably in the car while Chan drives towards Changbin's family's old Farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. You've been there before - during summer holidays, he would take you there with his family. That place was only filled with happy memories of sunshine, swimming pools, watermelon juice and bonfires.

You swallow the grief that comes along with these memories.

"Are we here already?" Chan pulls over in a familiar driveway not even ten minutes later, jogging up to your door and clicking it open, like the gentleman he is.

"Yeah, we're here." Chan smiles, "Very less traffic tonight."

You guys walk through the huge metallic gate, making your way through the main door of the house.

"Uh..." People are crowded mostly around the front door and in the front yard, so you and Chan have to push and squeeze your way into the Farmhouse. You hate the feeling of sweaty bodies pressing against you (or holding Chan's hand for stability) but desperate situations call for desperate measures.

"I hate it here." You mutter when you later find yourself by the pool side, swirling the drink that you don't even plan on drinking and looking at all the flushed faces having the time of their lives.

Thankfully, Chan happens to be on the same boat as you.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here, Chan. We could have just gone for a movie."

Chan giggles, "Hey, it's alright. I don't mind, I'm glad I could spend some time with you after so many years."

His eyes shine and dimples deepen.

You whisper, "Yeah, me too."

Chan is a handsome man, good at all kinds of sport, good at arts, very smart and intelligent yet there's a part of you that knows you'd never be able to reciprocate his flirtatious words. It's sad, really, but that's just how life is.

"Wow, those two seem to be having the time of their lives." Chan chuckles, pointing at someone behind you.

It's quite dark outside, the only source of light being a few decorative fairylights hung at random places haphazardly.

Hiding behind a huge, tall bush, you see a couple, kissing each other like it were the last day on the planet.

The guy's hands roam all over the woman's body and the woman is so loud that even you could hear her sighs and moans. When she pulls away to catch her breath for a second, Chan asks you, "You know her?"

"Nope. I don't know either of them."

You look away; what kind of creep looks at a happy couple like that? (Not a creep, just a lonely and touch starved person)

"Should we check out the dinner table?" Chan suggests and you agree with a nod, "I hope there's no crowd there."

As expected, there actually isn't a crowd there - there's only Changbin, sitting and nibbling on a pizza slice while scrolling through the phone.

The moment your eyes land on him, your feet as if stop on their own and your heart bangs furiously against your chest.

He's breathtakingly gorgeous.

By the time you debate in your head whether or not you want to sit there and fill your stomach, Chan has already made his way to Changbin.

"Hey, Bin!" He greets him with a smile.

Changbin looks at Chan with an unamused smile, the same one from your high school days, when these two were named the biggest rivals on campus. You wonder if somewhere deep in his heart, Changbin had still not let go of that rivalry.

"Hey, Changbin." You manage to whisper before sitting beside Chan.

He looks almost angry.

"You should have the pizza. It's good." He mutters, turning to pass you a slice of pizza on a plate, "Help yourself, Chan."

Yup, there it is. The Seo Changbin that would kill to be on top. You feel worse about dragging Chan here now when neither of you were having a good time.

"Thanks, mate. " Chan replies.

Your ears ring with the sound of approaching footsteps, and when a pretty girl comes walking in and takes Changbin in her arms, your heart stings. Like a fresh wound.

"Y/n.." Chan whispers to you as you watch the two collide in a loving embrace, Changbin smiling at her and running his fingers through her hair.

Your heart hurts at how happy and content he looks.

You could have had that, a part of you thinks, if you weren't such a coward, it would have been you instead of her.

"Y/n," Chan calls you again.

"What?" Your tone is harsher than you intended, "What happened?"

You think Chan is about to give you the whole it-is-time-to-move-on talk but he doesn't, instead he points at the girl and whispers,

"It's her. The girl we saw earlier."

The rest of the night is blurry to you, all conversations, all gazes, all thoughts just feel ....like an awkward dream.

"We have to tell Changbin."

You're sitting at Yang's Cafe at 1 am the same night, watching Jeongin's brother guide his staff to clean the place up.

"I agree." Chan says, biting the inside of his cheeks.

While you, on the other hand, are completely zoned out, staring at the glass of water placed in front of you and watching the droplets on its surface race each other.

"Y/n, what do you think?" Jeongin asks when you don't take part in their discussions.

You sigh, "I don't know. I really don't. As much as it troubles me that Changbin is being cheated on, I don't want to get involved in their personal relationship. "

"Let's not tell anyone for now, then. But someday in the future, before that goddamn wedding, we have to tell him. He deserves to know." Chan agrees.

You purse your lips and close your eyes.

Chan is right.

Changbin deserves to know the truth.

"So, how's it being back in town, y/n?"

"It feels good. Weird, but good." You smile at your old teacher, "How have you been, Miss Oh?"

Your teacher adds sugar to the cup of tea in her hands and then looks at you, smiling - the same old smile, except with more wrinkles now, "I've been good. I'm retiring next year so I'm glad I could see you before that, huh?"

You nod your head, "I'm glad too. The school hasn't changed much, unlike what I had expected."

Other than the addition of some new labs and libraries, and the change in color of the walls, everything was still the same. No place in this old school building feels foreign to you.

"Ugh, these administration people I tell you, y/n, they're cheap idiots. They won't spend a single penny on infrastructure unless it's absolutely necessary." She complains as you giggle in response,

"They've always been like that."

Miss Oh gulps some tea from her cup, "Anyway, y/n, I have a class now. I would have loved to stay and chat, really, but I'm afraid that might get me in to trouble."

"No issues, Miss Oh. Go ahead. I'll just roam around the school a little more though, if that's okay."

After Miss Oh leaves, you step out of her cabin and walk the familiar corridors, reminiscent of the memories you have here. Studying a few minutes before tests, bunking classes, running to class when you're late, hanging out with your friends- these corridors have seen you grow in love, in friendship, in life. There's absolutely nothing that could ever replace these memories.

Mindlessly, you wander around the third floor, walking toward the end of the corridor before stopping in front of an old door, way too familiar to not try and push open.

While a part of you tells you it might not be a good idea to go into that room again, there's also a part of you that thinks it's a bloody brilliant idea.

Pushing the door open, you walk into the old dusty room, sighing in relief when you see a particular set of letters still carved on the wall.

CB and YN were here.

You finally let your tears run free, as you crouch down to touch the letters.

Your heart aches at how much you miss Changbin being an important part of your life and how much you miss being his top priority. And your heart aches for Changbin, who is so in love with his fiancé and has no idea he's being cheated on.

You almost want to leave this town and go back to your mother, away from this terrible mess. Yet you don't find it in yourself to act on those thoughts.

Maybe, it is your fear of abandoning him once again that stops you. Or, maybe it is simply the unconditional love you harbor for him.

* Surprisingly, Yang's Cafe is near empty that afternoon.

"Did something happen, y/n? You look really worried." Changbin has his arms crossed over his chest, looking at you with a tense frown.

"Um..it's kind of complicated." You sigh. For a second, you see the genuine concern and innocence on his face, and you wonder if it is worth telling him the truth at all because it would kill you to see him lose his smile but then, his engagement band shines on his ring finger and your stomach turns unpleasantly.

He has to know. From you. In person.

"Changbin, that day at your party...I saw something. " You whisper, "Something I shouldn't have. I should have turned a blind eye really but I can't. My conscience won't allow it. I'm sorry, Bin."

"Y/n, it's okay, just tell me," he reaches over and wraps his fingers around yours, soft and gentle, "You're scaring me."

"Changbin, your fiance is cheating on you. I-I saw her kissing another man that night. Chan saw it too." You feel sick even having to say this to him, "I think you should confront her."

He sucks in a deep breathe, his face completely void of any emotions as he extracts his hands from yours.

"I know." Is all he says.

His eyes drill into yours, as if accusing you of a crime. He looks angry. Just how he looked the day you brought Chan to his party.

"Why are you still marrying her then?" You question.

He sits up straight, "Y/n, I wish I could explain. But I can't. I'm sorry. And please, stay out of this, okay?"

"Why? Why should I stay out of it?" Your voice threatens to break, "I cannot watch my best friend marry a woman who's not loyal. You deserve better than this, Bin."

A sarcastic chuckle leaves Changbin's lips as he taps his foot against the floor, "Let me correct you, y/n. You were my best friend. Seven years ago. You're not anymore."

Your heart shatters.

A part of you knows you deserve this after ghosting him for seven long years. You were the center of each other's world at one point of time.How could you have been so selfish to ever think that your absence and lack of communication wouldn't hurt him?

"Changbin, I'm sorry for everything I did okay. B-but I never stopped thinking or worrying about you. Even for one second. And I still do."

Changbin pushes his chair back and stands up while you stay frozen in your seat.

"It doesn't seem like that though. "

"What do you even mean!"

"Chan. I mean Chan, y/n." He grabs his phone and purse, "Goodbye, y/n. I hope Chan turns out to be a better friend than I ever did." With that, the love of your life walks out of Yang's Cafe.

And for once, he doesn't even look back.

* "Y/n, don't let go of my hand!"

Changbin is panting heavily, his voice shaking with fear as he desperately tries to hold onto you.

He should have known it would be a bad idea to play badminton near the infamous cliff in your town yet when you had showed him your innocent smile and pleading eyes that day, he just couldn't say no.

Your sweaty hands clutch his, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. Your free hand grabs the rough surface of the rocky cliff to keep yourself from falling.

You want to cry; but you're too traumatized to even let out more than a few terrified grunts. "Y/n," he yells, "I'm going to try and pull you up one more time, okay?."

You don't even remember how you had ended up in this situation; one second you were happily giggling, playing badminton with Changbin and in the next second, you found yourself hanging by the cliff, praying for your dear life.

With all the energy he has left, he tries to pull you up onto the surface.

"Y/n, you have to free the other hand. Let go of that rock." He pants.

You shake your head vigorously, you know you would not survive if you let go of the rock, you'd fall thousands of feet below into absolute nothingness.

"Y/n, please listen to me." Changbin pleads, now crying, "Please. I'll catch you, I promise. I'll not let you die. Just..please."

Changbin sounds like he's about to give up and in all honesty, you couldn't blame him really. Everytime your eyes fall on what's beneath you, a part of you loses hope.

"Please, come on, y/n," he's still pulling at your free hand, while his right hand awaits desperately to grab the other hand. A mixture or sweat and tears grace his face, making him shine under the bright afternoon sun. Your heart aches at the mere thought of never seeing him again- your friend, your childhood crush, your partner in everything.

Well, here goes nothing then.

You suck in a deep breath and let go the Rock, immediately reaching for Changbin. He is quick to grab both of your arms and in one swift movement, he pulls you up onto the surface.

You fall onto his chest, "Y-you saved me."

Changbin let's out a sob mixed with a relieved giggle, pulling you into his arms.

Your eyes feel heavy, as darkness slowly begins to engulf your vision.

"Oh God, I am so sorry this happened, y/n. It's all my fault." He cries, rubbing your back softly, "I'm so sorry. I thought I was going to lose you, oh God. Fuck!"

You want to tell him that it was never his fault, and that you wouldn't even be alive if not for him but your body betrays you and your body goes limp against his.

"I'm not leaving this neighborhood."

Your hands rest angrily on your waist as your mom frantically walks from your closet to where the suitcase is spread open on your bed, shifting all your clothes. She dumps them inside the suitcase, not bothering to fold them even.

"You will do as I say! That Seo Changbin tried to push you off of a cliff and heaven knows what he might do next!" Your mom yells back.

You sit at the edge of your bed, trying to keep yourself calm, "Mom, I told you it was an accident. I fell because I was going after the shuttlecock and didn't notice the cliff. Moreover, why would my best friend want try to kill me!"

Your mom let's out a sarcastic laugh, closing the suitcase roughly. She looks at you with eyes full of contempt and a part of you knows that there's no point in trying to convince her. Her mind is already made. Yet you refuse to go down without a fight.

"You're just sixteen, sweetie. You don't know anything about the cruel world, " your mother sighs, "Rich people are not friends with anyone. Changbin may be nice to you but he only sees you as a pathetic poor girl."

"Mom, we're not even poor!"

"Yes, I know. But those filthy rich businessmen consider everyone below their economic status poor. His family probably doesn't like him being friends with you which is why they asked him to get rid of you."

You think of Mrs. Seo's face in your head, always smiling and always welcoming. You remember Changbin's sister and how she'd promised to let you borrow her dress for this year's winter prom. And you think about Changbin- his face, his smile, his passion for music and his protectiveness towards you. Why would these people ever want to hurt you?

"Mom, you're being ridiculous right now! Do you even hear yourself!" You stand up from the bed, now beyond frustrated.

She walks upto you and grabs your arm tightly, nails digging into your skin as you whimper slightly. "You will listen to me. I am your mother and you will listen to me. " she growls, "Pack the rest of your stuff. We're leaving tomorrow."

When she finally walks out your bedroom, your first instinct is to dress yourself in your black hoodie and track pants, and quietly slip out of the back window of your room.

The cold air nips at your skin, goosebumps slowly appearing on your arms and legs but you're too preoccupied to pay too much heed to it.

You reach Changbin's house and like always, walk up to the backyard and climb upto his room through the emergency staircase.

When Changbin hears knocks on his window, he quickly removes his headphones, "y/n?"

He walks upto the window and let's you in, his heart more at peace now than it's ever been the entire day. The guilt from the accident you had earlier was clawing at his conscience.

His room is mostly dark except for his table lamp. You notice the lyrics notebook lying on the table, open with some scribbles and random phrases on the pages.

"How are you feeling?"

You sit at the edge of his bed, cross legged while he kneels on the floor to get to your level. His hands find yours naturally.

"Fine," you swallow the tears that have been accumulating since you left the house, "Changbin, I- we're leaving tomorrow."

Changbin is taken aback; his heart shattering into billions of pieces at your words.

"Leaving? What do you mean Leaving?" his voice trembles.

You lick your dry lips and tell him everything your mom had told you earlier. When his face twists bitterly, a part of you wishes you'd held your tongue yet a bigger part of you wants Changbin to know the truth now; you didn't want him sending you off with lies in his mind and the fear of him finding out some years later just killed you inside.

"I'm so sorry, Changbin. Mom's just not been okay after the divorce." Your voice breaks when Changbin refuses to look at you, "I know she's speaking bullshit. But there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind, I've tried I swear. I'm sorry, Changbin."

When Changbin finally does look at you, even in the dim lit room, you see the tears glistening on his face, mirroring the ones that roll down your cheeks. "Why are you sorry, y/n? I don't blame your mom." He mutters, "It was partly my fault. I should have taken more care, I-"

You cup his cheek, "Shh. Bin, are we really going to spend my last night here crying and blaming ourselves? We might never see each other again."

The words sink deep into his soul, and he nods. He wills his tears back in as he grabs your hand tighter.

"Okay. What do you wanna do?"

You smile a little, "You're not gonna like it though. "

"Stargazing it is then." He giggles a little as the both of you make your way to balcony attached to his room.

It is quiet outside, unlike the noise in your head and you feel the calmness spreading to you when you look up at the stars.

Changbin brings a picnic mat from inside and spreads it out on the floor, along with two pillows and a blanket.

"We'll stay in touch, yeah? If you ever need anything, I'll be right here." He reassures you, lying beside you, hands behind his head.

You smile yet you cannot bring yourself to promise him the same because you know your mother would do everything in her power to push the two of you apart, even to the point of physically hurting Changbin. You would never want that so you'd rather distance yourself and let Changbin forget about you. And maybe, just maybe fate would be a little nicer to you and decide to bring you into his life again. Many years later.

He presses a soft kiss to your head, "You'll always be my best friend, y/n. I don't care how far we are."

It takes everything in your being to not repeat the words.

"Changbin, come on we're getting you to the hospital this instant, okay?" Mrs. Seo is furious next morning, running from room to room, looking through the list of doctors she'd saved just in case of emergency.

When she looks at her son, sitting on the sofa with one of his eye irises turning a glowing red, she is reassured that this is an emergency.

"How did this even happen, mom? I swear I didn't try to do anything funny with my eye." He murmurs, scared, "It feels so itchy, gosh!"

Mrs.Seo looks at him with concern just when the doctor picks the call, "Oh, hello Dr.Lee! Thank god you picked up!"

After his mom walks out of his room, Changbin quickly types you a text,

Binnie: Hey. Did you leave already?

Y/nnie: No not yet. We've stopped at the doctor's.

Changbin's eyes widen in alarm.

Binnie: What why?

You look at your face in the decorative mirror at the doctor's waiting room, one of your irises burning into a bright shade of ruby.

Y/nnie: Mom's running a cold.

You close the messenger app before he even replies, deciding to change your number and deleting all your old contacts as soon as you move into your new house. And as much as it hurt you, this one text turned out to be the last time Changbin and you ever talked.

It has been raining all day, which means you were stuck in your goddamn house with nothing to do but cry about Changbin and your lost friendship and your broken heart.

After you manage to get some food into your body during dinner time, you crawl back to your room and look into the mirror as you comb your hair and moisturize your skin.

(Self care is important, y'all)

Your red iris stares back at you, taunting your mistakes and calling you a coward.

If only you had still tried to keep in touch with him, if only that stupid accident wouldn't have happened in the first place, if only.

Suddenly, a knock on your balcony door makes you jump in your place.

Shit. Is it a burglar?

You grab the closest thing that could be classified as a weapon - which happens to be an umbrella.

The knocking continues.

"Y/n, it's Changbin." He yells, "Can I please talk to you?"

You freeze in your spot.

Why in the world is he here? Does he have anything worse to say? Is he here to invite you to his wedding? But why would he sneak in through the balcony when he can easily ring the main door bell.

"Y/n, are you in there?"

You quickly walk upto the door and slide it open, revealing Changbin, completely drenched in the rain. His wet hair stuck to his face and "Shit. What the- God, come inside!"

He obeys and tiptoes inside your room, a guilty expression plastered on his face.

You guide him directly to the bathroom and offer him a towel.

"What are you even doing here, Bin?" You lean against the door frame, hands crossed over your chest.

He is drying his hair with the towel when he looks up at you as if to answer your question but he stops. His mouth hangs open as his eyes remain glued to your face.

And that's when you realize why he looks so surprised.

"Shit- fuck." You turn around immediately, "my lenses," you mutter to yourself.

But before you can even walk upto your dressing table, Changbin has caught your wrist and spun you around, pulling you closer to his body.

"Your eye." He let's out a shaky breath.

"Yes, I know. Please don't freak out. It's always been like this after -"

"After the accident." He finishes your sentence, "I know."

Your mouth runs dry as his face draws in closer, "What do you mean you know? What do you know?"

He let's go of your wrist and takes a step back, turning around so that his back faces you.

And when he turns to look at you again, you swear you could have passed out there and then.

"Y-you have it too." You whisper, weak in the knees, "You have a red iris too."

Changbin gives you a small smile, "Yes, y/n."

"But why? What does this mean?" You say, "Is it a symptom of some chronic illness?"

"It's a soul mark."

"What's a soul mark?"

"It's a mark that exists on the bodies of soulmates."

You feel a pang in your chest; like someone was squeezing your heart out of your chest.

"Right," You fall back onto the bed, dazed with the sudden piece of information, "And how do you know all this?"

Changbin kneels down in front of you, hands finding yours. He looks more relaxed than he did since the first day you come back to town.

It almost feels like you had been given back your old friend.

"I've been doing my research, y/n. After you left, this is all I've been doing." He says, "This is also the reason why I had gotten engaged. By that time, I had given up on finding a soulmate. So I just settled for whatever I got. I didn't even feel bad when I found out my fiance was not in love with me. For the world, we might look like a happy couple, but truly, it was just a marriage of convenience for our parents' business."

You bite your lips wondering how to respond to these words. He'd laid bare his heart in front of you, something you never thought he'd do ever again.

"What now?" You say, tired.

He intertwines your fingers, "Also, I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have said all that."

You nod, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean it. And for the record, I and Chan have nothing going on."

"And for the record, I also broke off my engagement."

Your eyes widen as a gasp leaves your lips, "What? Why?"

"Because when I told my parents that I do not love my fiancé, and that I have only ever loved you, they said my happiness was more important than their business."

When you don't reply to his words, he looks worried, "Hey, you don't have to feel burdened to like me back and all okay? Literally, if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I understand-"

You pull him by the nape and place the softest, gentlest, most sincere kiss on his lips.

"I feel the same way, dumbass." You sigh as you pull him into your arms.

He muzzles his face in the crook of your neck, playing with your hair from behind, "So what now?"

"Let's start with a date." You say, "Let's take it slow."

Changbin wraps his arms tighter around you, kissing your cheek, "As you wish, my love. "

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sckyie · 3 years

Text

hq last goodbye after a break-up

☛ includes: azumane asahi, tendou satori, kozume kenma

☛ warnings: angst

☛ pronouns: gender neutral

☛ a/n: uhm again idk how headcanons work but tendou made me teary eyed :(

『 AZUMANE ASAHI 』

one of the hardest things for him to do after you two broke things off

though your break-up was mutual, he couldn't really bear the thought of letting you go for real

he held so much love in your relationship, but in the end, the two of you grew apart as people and you couldn't handle trying to hold up something that wasn't moving anywhere

he himself didn't want the relationship to be one-sided and letting you go was the best option

it was a small brunch meeting where you wanted to say your goodbyes, the place you two had met, a cafe down the street of your old college

you sat quietly, sipping on a warm cup of coffee as you waited for your now ex-boyfriend. even though you wanted this break-up and this last goodbye, your nerves were shot through the roof. in truth, you never wanted you two to grow apart. asahi was the first man to help you understand the definition of love.

asahi was dreading the day to see you. it wasn't that he didn't want to see you, it was that he couldn't hold himself to meet you face to face. he knew that once he sees you again that he's going to want you back.

he approached the cafe and noticed you sitting outside at one of the tables. taking a deep breath, he approached the table. "y/n?" he asks.

"oh, hey azumane," you say. a sting in his chest rang after hearing his last name left your mouth.

"so, how are you?" he awkwardly smiled as he pulled his chair to sit.

"good...good..." you shied. "how are you?"

"i've been better, just stuck at work," he explained.

"hm, seems like normal," you chuckled softly. "so, i just wanted to give you something back...that's why i called you to meet."

"oh?" asahi's palms were sweating as you reached down for a large paper bag. wordlessly, you place it in front of him, anticipating his next words. he takes the bag, peeking inside to see his old sweater and some of his old shirts. he frowns slightly at the sight until he notices a small jewelry box. he picks up the small container, opening it to reveal the promise ring he gave you on your anniversary. "wait-"

"look i know you said to keep it but i can't without thinking about you," you say as you picked at your fingertips. "so you should keep it. you always told me-"

"so this is really it, huh?" asahi's voice was wary as he stared at the ring. "there's no second chance, no winning you back?"

a silence fell between you two as he picked the ring out of the box. your chest was aching at his words. as much as you wanted to take him back, you knew that it was for the better if you two were apart. asahi looked up from the piece of jewelry and noticed how glossy your eyes had gotten. "i'm sorry, i can't do this," you stood up to leave but asahi grabbed your wrist. "i wanted to tell you how much you meant to me and i wish you the best but- but- i can't. i'm sorry- i should go...thank you azumane..."

you broke out of his hold before jogging towards the nearest train station. and that was it, asahi was left alone with the promise ring still in his hands. tears rolled down his cheek as he gripped the ring. he held the sweater close, taking in your scent that lingered along the fabric.

『 TENDOU SATORI 』

he didn't mean to break your heart, truly he thought things would work out

the former middle blocker had believed long distance would work once he left to culinary school

before he could even leave, things between you two had gotten heated and you were frustrated, he was too but he said things that he wished he never said

"i'm sorry i'm chasing after my dream! unlike you! you're living the same life since high school!"

"you! you were my dream satori! you and i! having a family, growing old together! you! it was all you! god- i can't do this anymore!"

his apologies weren't doing any good to you, so for some closure, you went to see him before his flight

you gripped tightly on the ends of your sleeves as you walked around the airport looking for tendou. his flight wasn't for another hour but semi had told you that he was waiting by the gate early. searching for the flight to france on the list of gates, you heard a voice call you out.

"y/n?" tendou was shocked to even see you here. you turned around to face him. "w-what are you doing here?"

"i- i don't know," your voice was shaking. you cautiously approached him, leaving some space between you two. "i guess...i wanted to wish you the best..."

"y/n," he cooed. "your eyes are puffy...i'm sorry for what i said, i know i shouldn't have treated you like that."

"it's okay satori.." you breathed.

"do you think we can try long distance?" tendou was reaching for some kind of hope.

"i...i don't think so..." you knew that it wouldn't work with the time zones and work. you also knew that letting him go would let him succeed in his dream.

"mhm," tendou hummed. "y'know i still love you, right?"

"of course i know," you took a step closer. "i still love you too..."

tendou reaches out to you, pulling you into a hug. the comforting hug hurt, your heart was aching and tears began to dampen his jacket as he held you. "you'll do great things," tendou whispered. you could hear in his voice he was crying too.

you pulled away, looking at his now glassy eyes. "you too," you reached up, cupping his cheeks. as he held onto your waist, the intercom for his flight's check-in was now open. "oh...it's time..."

"i'm gonna miss you," tendou sniffled.

"me too..." you wiped your tears before tendou let go. you watched him begin to walk away, but something in you made you reach for his hands. "you didn't give me one last goodbye kiss."

tendou's eyes were welling up with tears once again as he let go of his luggage. he pulls you into his arms, connecting his lips with yours. you couldn't believe that this was the last time you'd be with him. you embraced his affection for those few moments before he slowly pulls away. he wipes away your tears before wordlessly letting go. who knew goodbyes would hurt this bad?

『 KOZUME KENMA 』

it was more of a right person, wrong time situation

you both loved each other as if you two were a married couple but it came to a point in your lives where it felt like you two were strangers

kenma knew you meant well when you brought up the idea of breaking up, he couldn't bear the thought of saying goodbye

you were his person, the one person he never wanted to let you go

today was the day you were finally moving away and you had to say your last farewell to him

you stood at the bottom of the stairs in front of his house waiting for kenma to come out to see you. he was dressed in sweats and his hair was messy once you saw him emerge from his front door. "hey," he says softly. his voice was raspy and you could tell he was crying.

"hi," you took a step forward, standing in front of him. "aw kenma, your hair." you tried to bring up his mood. you reached up, combing his hair with your fingers. he leaned into your touch, almost whining at the feeling.

"i'm sorry i didn't do better.." he said, pawing to hold you.

"it wasn't you," you reassured. "it just...wasn't our time yet."

"if it wasn't me, then why did you bring chub chubs," kenma pokes at the stuffed cat plush he gave you in your hands. you pull your hand away from his hair and petted the fluffy stuffed animal.

"because he deserves to be with his dad," you joked. though you were smiling, you could feel the pain sting as you reached out to give the toy to him.

kenma takes the soft cat into his hands and moves to cup it's cheeks. "your parent is divorcing me," he says to the stuffie. he squishes his cheeks before turning to you who was giggling at the sight. "fuck i'm gonna miss you."

he pulls you in with his right arm, holding you tightly. "i'm gonna miss you too." you wrapped your arms around him feeling the tears build up. "promise me you'll take care of yourself?" you mumbled into his chest.

"i promise as long as you do the same," kenma says.

"mhm," you hummed. kenma pulls away, still holding you in his arms, to admire you one last time. he dips down, planting a kiss on your forehead. "take care of chub chubs too, i slept with him every night when you didn't sleep over."

"come back for me too," kenma gives the plush a voice as he waves its little arms. you chuckled at him, looking up one last time at your now former partner. "i love you, i hope you know i always will."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @snowsmuse @joy-laufeyson

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