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zorosimpclub · 4 months

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late night at the office – Zoro NSFW

characters: zoro roronoa x fem!reader (he's your boss)

boss employee relationship, praising, degrading, light choking | smut | 18+ only – MDNI

word count: 5.5k

She glanced at the clock, it was 8PM and most if not all of her co-workers had gone home. She was assigned to this project by her boss, Zoro – the man was ruthless. He made her repeat her work if there was one small error. Sometimes even when there were 0 errors. That's how ruthless this man was. Today was no different, the client deadline was a few days away but he made her scrap her whole progress and start again.

Zoro sat in his office watching cameras his employees like a hawk, checking on each and every coworker he had. Until he looked at her, seeing her upset. His eyes narrowed and opened up his emails to write her one.

I need to see you in my office.

Minutes turned into hours until she received his email. She held her breath when she saw a small pop up flash on the corner of her laptop screen.

This can't be good, she thought. Sighing, she got up and made her way to his office, stopping right outside. She hesitated a little before finally mustering the courage to knock on it.

Zoro leaned back in his chair, checking through emails as he heard her footsteps outside his office.

“Come in.”

He looked up from his laptop, and fixed his gaze on her. He gestured to a small seat in front of his desk and waited for her to take a seat. She gulped slightly and sat down in the chair, she had no idea what to expect. Zoro was usually really hard to read and today was no different.

Zoro had folded his hands on his desk, looking at her with his sharp eyes. He didn’t waste any time – he didn’t believe in sugarcoating things and was a man of practicality.

”I see you work so hard yet you can’t seem to meet my expectations. I don’t know it your not trying hard enough or you’re just not good at your job."

She felt her lip quiver, he was harsh…there was no surprise there. She bit her bottom lip to fight herself from crying and waited for him to continue talking, knowing that he didn’t just call her into his office to just tell her that.

“I want this project done by the end of the week, I don’t want to hear any excuses. If you can’t get it done by the end of the week…you’re fired, is that understood?”

He wasn't really going to fire her, at most, he was planning to transfer her to another department. He didn't know why he was being such a dick to her...well, he did. Lately his bright eyed employee has been pissing him off. She keeps occupying his damn mind... that infectious smile of hers, her beautiful, innocent eyes...all of it. He didn't know how to feel and it was easier to get rid of her than just dealing with.

"I understand." She spoke up meekly, holding onto her composure so that she didn't burst out crying.

Zoro could see her eyes, they were filling with tears. For a brief moment, he almost felt bad for her. Almost. He let out a sigh and spoke softer whilst remaining stern.

“Good. You can leave but I want the first version of the draft first thing in the morning."

She gasped a little and looked at the clock in his office, "But Mr Zoro, it's 9PM now..."

She already knew what he'd say, it didn't matter because he was definitely going to ask her to pull an all nighter if necessary. It's not like he cared since he usually left the office quite late and in fact, this wasn't the first time she was working late. She wasn’t entirely sure that he had a life outside the office. He was the hardest worker she had ever met, always the last to leave but somehow the first to arrive.

Zoro's eyes locked onto hers.

“Do I need to repeat myself? I don’t care if you have to pull an all nighter here or at your house, as long as you submit the first draft tomorrow morning. That’s all I care about right now.”

At least she had the option to take her work home and work from there if needed. She stood up and excused herself, "Understood."

In the end she decided to finish as much as she could before leaving, she did work better here after all. She began typing away before she heard her co-worker Sanji settled down next to her briefly.

"Y/N my love, you're still here? I'm about to leave now, did you want me to give you a ride?" Sanji asked.

Zoro let out a soft groan as her placed his head against his palms, thoughts racing in his mind. He couldn’t take it. After she left his office, his heart pounded a little. He wanted to tell her that he wasn’t going to fire her and that he was harsh on her. He got up and walked out only to see Sanji next to her.

Zoro smirked a little sadistically, he knew what was going on with them. He wanted to hear Sanji ask her out and he wanted her to reject him. Again and again. He went to the water cooler to hear their conversation more clearly.

"Ah thanks Sanji but I don't think I'm leaving any time soon, I have this due tomorrow and it's much more peaceful here than home so I figured I'd stay until I get this done." She smiled softly at Sanji before typing away at her laptop.

Sanji huffed and leaned closer to her before whispering a joke in her ear, to which she giggled.

Zoro rolled his eyes as he heard Sanji’s whisper, hearing her giggle. His jaw clenched a little, he didn’t like her so close to another man, especially Sanji. It felt like he was so close to seeing her date this man, she’s too beautiful to be with someone like Sanji.

He drank some water, hearing Sanji make another remark, hearing her giggle again. He was getting jealous by the second.

He walked towards her desk and raised his brow at Sanji – he had always hated this man. Something about the way he spoke to her made him despise him.

"Why are you still here? Aren't you from the sales department?"

Sanji let out a chuckle, seeing Zoro walk towards his desk. A smug face on Sanji, as he spoke.

“Ah, yeah I’m in the sales department. I was just here for a client, I just happened to see her beautiful face and decided to visit.”

Zoro rolled his eyes again, he knew he was trying to make a move on her. Anyone with eyes could see how desperate he was towards her.

Zoro was furious but kept his calm, tone stern. "Yeah? Well she has something due in the morning so why don't you just leave instead of slowing her down?”

Sanji gave him a playful grin, his eyebrows raised.

“Wow! Mr. Zoro you are pretty protective of her, you should be careful otherwise someone might think you have a thing for your pretty little employee.”

Zoro's face got red as his fists clenched, he didn't like when people saw through him. He couldn't even respond to Sanji’s claims.

"Shut up." Zoro stormed off to his office, feeling a little embarrassed. Did that moron just practically confess for him?

Y/N blinked once. Twice. Thrice. What just happened? It all happened so fast. Why did Zoro get flustered like that?

She shook her head and sighed, "Anyway Sanji, I'm going to get back to work, please feel free to leave. Thanks for offering me to take home but I think I'll just get the late night bus back."

Zoro had his fists clenched, he wasn’t expecting Sanji to be so loud and put those words in her head. It made his blood boil in his veins as he slammed the door to his office with one hand. He sat at his desk, pushing his fingers through his hair. Why was his heart beating so fast? Why did he care so much about another man calling a woman beautiful? He didn’t know. He shook his head, this was getting ridiculous.

Time went on as he heard Sanji leave, the office became silent. It was all him and her.

Zoro couldn’t stand it, he watched from his desk. Seeing her stretch and hearing her tired yawns. Something in him got him to stand up and walk over to her desk. He towered over her.

“Its late, you should go home. You look tired.”

"But I haven't finished yet. I work better here." She shot him a soft smile and continued typing, feeling awkward that he was just standing there. She sensed some tension – what type of tension, she wasn’t sure quite yet.

With him, it was a mixed bag. He has been really kind to her but in a professional, stern way. But he’s also straight up been a dick to her, she wasn’t sure what to think.

He let out a sigh, his attention locked onto her soft smile, he couldn’t look away…it’s like he was mesmerised.

“I know I gave you that deadline earlier but I’ll give you more time. Just leave and get some rest, you need it.”

She perked up a little, "Thanks but I think I can finish up in a couple of hours..." It was obvious that he felt bad, he always does and she was grateful that he showed care for her. But she really wanted to prove to him and herself that she wasn't just going take the easy route.

He stayed silent, watching her type away on her keyboard. He felt like time was going incredibly slow, watching her fingers type. His eyes roamed from her hands to her face, back to her hands then back to her face. His face only got redder at the sight, damned feelings he thought.

–

He left the office and grabbed both of them some takeout before returning – he convinced himself that he would do this for any employee and that it was just him fulfilling his duty as a boss. He pushed open his office door with his shoulder and placed the takeout on his desk.

He should email her to come have dinner since it seems that she hadn't already had it.

After hesitating for the tenth time, Zoro opened his email and wrote to her.

I need to see you in my office.

He wasn't going to tell her that he got takeout, she probably wouldn't come if he did.

She sighed and got up as soon as she saw the email pop up in the corner of her screen. Walking over to his office, she rubbed her temples to prepare herself for whatever the man was about to throw at her.

Zoro watched her walk over to his office, the sight of her just walking over was enough to make him lose his mind.

The moment she walked in he gestured for her to sit down, he put the takeout in front of her. She had no idea the amount of willpower he was exerting to not just kiss her.

She raised a brow not knowing what he asked her here for, there's no way he called her in here because he got her food...right? Maybe he was going to eat in front of her knowing that she hadn’t had any dinner yet but he can’t be that cruel…right?

"You called sir?"

Zoro stayed silent, his heart pounded in his chest. What if she thinks it's inappropriate he bought her food? He felt like the air in the office got thicker as he looked at her. He spoke up with a firm tone, trying to get away from his thoughts.

"Eat."

She looked taken aback and looked at him as if he said the most incredulous thing ever, he was joking right? She didn't know what to say but on cue, her stomach grumbled. She had completely forgotten to eat dinner…

He watched her stomach grumbled, making him feel a little amused. His lips twitched, his eyes darted to the takeout and back to her, wanting her to eat. She hesitated for a bit and leaned in to grab part of her portion. He leaned back in his chair, not taking his eyes off her as she began eating.

His lips twitched into a little smile watching her eat, she looked so cute eating. Hell, she looked cute doing anything he thought. Zoro reached for his food and started to eat, his gaze never leaving her form. She ate nervously in silence, the food was good but she didn't know how to take this. Maybe he just felt bad for barking at her earlier.

His gaze was fixated on her eyes, occasionally his stare would wander to her lips as she chewed. Her nervous look only made her all the more gorgeous to his eyes.

He knew she wasn't aware of how attracted he was to her, to be fair, he didn’t know how attracted he was to her until it was just them alone. It was getting harder for him to hide it, every time he looked at her he wanted nothing more than to hold her close to him.

Everything was fine until she bit into the hotdog, causing the sauce to squirt on her cleavage. She panicked and wiped it off with her finger before licking it clean.

Zoro almost bit the side of his mouth as he saw her. She was eating the hotdog so innocently. He nearly lost it when the sauce made contact with her cleavage.

The sight of her innocently licking the sauce up with her tongue was enough for him to want to pin her to the wall and kiss her. But he snapped back to reality, he quickly cleared his mind and coughed a little.

"Thank you for the food." She squeaked, breaking the awkward silence that had built up.

Zoro let out a small chuckle. He looked at what she was wearing and had an inappropriate thought that he immediately pushed away.

“You’re welcome, you still have sauce on you,” He pointed to a spot of sauce on her cleavage that she had missed.

Y/N squealed a little and got flustered as she looked down to the sauce. Zoro got up and walked around his desk, sitting on it. He was directly in front of her now. She felt incredibly self conscious with the sauce still on her cleavage but for some reason she froze. She couldn’t move or say anything.

Zoro could feel himself getting more and more attracted to her. He watched as she seemed to freeze, it made him want to do something about it. He leaned forward, his face getting closer to hers.

“M-Mr Zoro?”

Zoro smirked a little at her squeaky voice. She looked so adorable right now, it made him want to close the gap between them.

“You’re so adorable...” He whispered leaning forward even more, his face inches away from hers.

She was shocked, this is so unexpected. Was she so tired that she was hallucinating?

“Y/N…" He called name her softly. He took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving hers. He couldn't help but think about how badly he wanted to kiss her right now.

She closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath on her lips. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t think of him late at night, as harsh as the man was on her, he was often the object of her fantasies. In fact, she’d moaned his name as she pleasured herself countless times.

Zoro couldn't take it anymore, his eyes burning with desire. He couldn't resist any more, he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. It was more of a teasing kiss than anything else, but it she felt intense sparks.

The soft moan from her only fueled Zoro's passion. He deepened the kiss, his hands gently holding her face. He could feel her trembling against him, and it only made him want more.

He broke the kiss and dipped his head to her chest only to lick the sauce off without breaking eye contact. She gasped at the sight and tightened her grip on her chair. She wanted to touch him but she was too afraid to, she didn’t know how to approach the situation. Zoro pulled back slightly, his eyes twinkling with lust as he looked at her. He could feel the tension in the air, the desire radiating off of them both.

He couldn't help but chuckle softly, "You taste even better than I imagined.”

“Y-you’ve imagined tasting me?” She blushed deeply and locked her gaze onto his eyes.

“Well, you are pretty irresistible."

Zoro teased, his gaze never leaving hers. He wanted her, there was no denying it. He reached out and gently traced his fingers along her cheekbone, his touch sending shivers down her spine. She closed her eyes and leaned it to his touch, which left behind burning heat. Her body ached for him, it wasn’t a want anymore… it was a need.

Zoro could feel the heat radiating off of her, his desire for her only growing stronger. He leaned in closer, his lips mere inches from hers.

"I want you," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "Let me show you how good I can make you feel…”

She looked up at him with those big doe eyes that he loved so much and nodded slowly.

Zoro's heart raced with anticipation as he leaned down to claim her lips once more, his hands running through her hair as he deepened the kiss. He knew he shouldn't go this far with her, but he couldn't help himself. He’d worry about the mess tomorrow. She fluttered her eyes shut and kissed back passionately, letting her hand roam his body shyly.

The kiss was intoxicating, and Zoro found himself lost in the heat of the moment. He groaned softly against her lips, his body responding to her touch. He broke the kiss for a moment, their breaths heavy and ragged.

"You're so fucking beautiful.”

She watched as he loosened his tie and smirked at her. She bit her bottom lip and squeezed her thighs together in response to how attractive he looked.

“Mr Zoro…”

Zoro reached out and undid the first button of her shirt, his eyes burning with desire.

"Don’t you think you need to be punished? For flirting with other men, hm?” he questioned, his voice husky with need.

He took of his tie and tied it around her eyes, blindfolding her. She gasped and stayed still, part of her feeling like it was on fire.He trailed his hands over her skin, unbuttoning more of her shirt as he went.

"I can’t believe I get to do this to you.”

She didn’t stop him, after all she did want him in every way. He took this as a sign to continue unbuttoning her shirt. His heart pounded in his chest as he exposed more of her skin to the cool air. His hands were shaking slightly, not from fear or hesitation, but from the overwhelming desire coursing through him.

"You’ve been driving me crazy.”

She gulped visibly and leaned her head back, exposing her naked neck and clavicle. Zoro's fingers brushed against her soft skin, tracing delicate patterns on her skin as he leaned in closer. His lips grazed her neck, his breath warm against her skin.

"You're making this very hard for me," he murmured against her skin.

He leaned down and took one of her nipples in his mouth, flicking his tongue sensually around it. A moan escaped from under her blindfold as she arched her back, offering more of herself to him. Her other nipple hardened at the sensation, begging for the same attention. He chuckled darkly and grazed his teeth against her as he gave her other nipple a pinch.

Her body trembled with anticipation and need. "Zoro," she panted, her voice filled with desire and longing. "Please...”

“Patience sweetheart. I did say that you were going to be punished didn’t I?” He sucked, bit and licked her nipples before lifting her skirt and moved her panties to the side. His rough hands slid over her mound, teasing her sensitive folds with his fingers.

"Look at you, dripping for me to touch you." he growled against her skin. "I'm going to fuck you until you scream, is that okay sweetheart?”

She grinded her hips on his fingers and nodded, begging to feel them inside of her. Unable to resist any longer, Zoro thrust his fingers inside of her, groaning at the feeling of her slick walls squeezing around him.

"You're so tight," he moaned, his pace becoming rougher.

She moaned and bucked her hips faster. It felt so good, she couldn’t even think straight. That however changed as soon as he slipped his fingers out of her, she moaned in protest and she heard something ruffling near her. She felt herself be lifted from the seat by her waist and laid down on the table.

“I think I have some space for dessert.”

Before she could ask what he meant, she felt something wet trail along her pussy. In an instant, she gripped his hair and ground herself against his tongue. Zoro moaned around her clit as he alternated between licking and sucking, loving the way she was writhing against his mouth. He moved to the side, sliding his tongue inside of her as he thrust two fingers inside of her.

“Mr Zoro!" she cried out, her body shaking with pleasure. Her hips bucked against his hands as she came undone, her moans echoing in the empty room.

As she finally came down from her orgasm, Zoro pulled his fingers out of her and stood up. He gave her a wicked grin.

"Now it's my turn." He pushed his pants and boxers down, freeing his already hard cock.

He took off her blindfold and yanked her to his chest.

“Now look at me when I fuck you," he growled, his voice dangerously low. He pushed her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes as he thrust into her, claiming her body completely. Her body was slick with their combined fluids as he slowly started to pick up speed, slamming into her with a primal groan.

He gripped her hair, pulling her head back as he took what he wanted from her. He peppered kisses and bites on her neck as he pounded mercilessly into her tight hole.

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt of fucking you like this?”

She gasped, her body arching into his as he hit her sweet spot. "Mr Zoro…" she moaned, her voice filled with desire and lust.

"T-Too much." she panted, her body trembling under his relentless thrusting.

“Good. Your punishment is cumming over and over again until you can’t think straight, are we clear, princess?”

“Yes," she whimpered, her body throbbing with need. "Please.”

He thrust into her so deep, she swore she could feel him hitting her cervix. She could feel every inch of him pulsating inside of her, claiming her like he would never get to touch her again. His fingers found her clit, rubbing it roughly and sending waves of pleasure through her.

He withdrew from her slowly, only to push back in hard, his muscles rippling as he hit the spot that made her scream out his name. His hips snapped with each hard thrust, driving him deep inside of her.

She held her breath as his balls slapped against her ass in all the right places. She could feel herself getting closer but the pleasure was overwhelming, making it nearly impossible to think straight. Her body tensed, her walls clenching around him in anticipation.

Her cries of pleasure and pain mingled together, echoing through the room. Her climax hit her hard, her body shuddering underneath him. Zoro’s own climax was imminent, his cock throbbing inside her.

“Look at you, you’re such a little slut aren’t you? Pretending to be innocent with those big pretty eyes but here you are, taking dick from your boss like a cumslut.” He chuckled dryly and pushed her against the door, her chest rubbing against the door every time he thrusted into her.

Zoro lightly gripped her neck and fucked her senseless, he wanted to have her like this every day. Everyday whilst everyone outside had no clue what was going on inside. Her eyes widened, both from the pleasure and surprise of his grip on her neck.

She couldn't help but moan loudly, her body arching off the door in response to his rougher actions. "Y-yes, Mr Zoro!”

"That's it, moan my name princess." He groaned out, thrusting harder into her. His grip on her neck tightened slightly, not enough to hurt her but enough to leave a mark if anyone were to find them like this.

She moaned his name, her body trembling from the intense pleasure and the sensation of being taken by him. "Ahh...”

Her eyes rolled back in her head, lost in the pleasure he was giving her. "Mr Zoro!" She cried out, her body shuddering under his rough treatment. She couldn't believe how much she craved this dominance from him. Zoro leaned in, his free hand running up her leg and over her thigh, his fingers finding her clit again.

He circled her clit slowly, teasing her further as he continued to fuck her against the door. "You're mine to claim whenever I want, understand?”

Her body convulsed around his fingers and his cock, her voice barely more than a whimper now. "Y-yes, Mr Zoro!" She panted, her eyes locked onto his. There was no denying the truth in her words—she belonged to him completely.

Feeling her submission, Zoro groaned deeply, his hips snapping faster as he took her roughly against the door.

"And you'll always remember this, won't you?" He asked, his voice thick with lust and possession.

"Y-yes, Mr Zoro," she panted, her voice barely audible over their heavy breaths. "I'll always remember this."

Hearing her confirm his words, Zoro felt a rush of power course through him. He gripped her tighter, biting his bottom lip as he drove deeper into her, claiming her in every sense of the word.

Her cries of pleasure mixed with his name filled the room, echoing off the walls. Her body arched off the door, meeting his brutal thrusts with unyielding desire. This was their dance—one of dominance and submission, pain and pleasure—and she was his perfect partner.

“I’m going to fill you up with my cum, got it?”

"Please, yes!" she whimpered, feeling his thick cock throbbing against her sensitive walls. The thought of him filling her up with his seed sent shivers of anticipation down her spine.

"That's my obedient princess." He groaned out, his voice low and rough with lust as his hips pistoned into her. His pace grew more rapid, his cock sliding in and out of her with brutal speed as he prepared to unleash his seed inside her.

“Fuck! Take my load!”

“Mmph!" She gasped, feeling him pulsing inside of her. His cum filled her up, claiming her in the most intimate way possible. She cried out his name as the intensity of the sensations washed over her.

She screamed, her body shuddering under the pleasure. Every muscle in her body was taut with anticipation as he continued to empty himself into her. His hips bucked wildly against hers, driving him deeper still as he claimed her completely.

"Look at me when you take my cum."

He snarled, yanking her head back by the hair, forcing her to meet his gaze as he exploded inside her. His words snapped her back to reality, and she finally registered the loud grunts of his orgasm echoing around them as his cum shot into her, filling her up and making her sob out his name again.

He pulled out of her and carried her to his chair before sitting down with her in his lap. Panting heavily, she felt him shift her so that she was now sitting in his lap, her legs dangling slightly. Her body trembled from the aftermath of their intense lovemaking, her heart still racing from the sheer intensity of it all.

“So…” she started.

He looked down at her, his eyes dark and smoldering with lust. "So," he drawled, running a rough thumb over her swollen lips, "you just fucked your boss huh?" His voice was rough with satisfaction and pride.

She blushed and hid her face with her hands.

Chuckling softly, Zoro wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer.

“It's alright, I won't fire you.” he teased, his other hand traced gentle patterns on her stomach, trying to soothe her blush. “In fact…from now on, this is your duty.”

He growled low in his throat, nibbling on her earlobe as he started to grind his hard cock against her still-sensitive core.

"Every day during work, you come to my office and let me have my way with you, understood?”

“Y-yes, Mr Zoro," she whispered, shivering in pleasure at the thought of the things he would do to her.

“Good girl." He murmured approvingly before leaning down to capture her lips in a slow, deep kiss that left her reeling. As he held her close, he couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that from now on, this beautiful woman was his to claim whenever he wanted.

“Oh and your work is actually good, I was just being harsh on you because I wanted to not like you." He admitted sheepishly “I was never planning to fire you, sorry for being rude to you.”

She blushed and cuddled against him, her heart fluttering with happiness. "Thank you, Mr Zoro." She looked up at him, her eyes shining with adoration and desire. "I'm glad I didn't disappoint you.”

“Zoro.”

“Hm?” She looked at him, a little puzzled as to why he was saying his own name.

“Just Zoro.” He smiled at her and captured her lips into a sweet kiss.

"Yes, Zoro," she breathed, returning his kiss eagerly. A warm shiver ran down her spine as he continued to touch her in ways that made her body tremble with anticipation. She was his now, completely and utterly.

"That's a good girl." He whispered against her lips before pulling back to look into her eyes.

"Now, let me drive you home." His tone was both commanding, leaving no room for hesitation or refusal. He wasn’t going to let her get the bus alone, definitely not at this hour. She nodded.

–

Once they reached her home, he parked the car carefully. His hand gently guided her out of the vehicle, their connection undeniable. As they stood on her porch, he leaned down and captured her lips once more, his tongue teasing and tasting her mouth.

He pulled away and stroked her hair lightly, “In all seriousness, this wasn’t driven by lust. Well, part of it was… but I do like you. A lot.”

His words sent a shiver down her spine, making her heart race even faster. She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with desire and a hint of admiration.

"I... I like you too, Zoro…do you want to come inside?" she whispered softly, biting her lower lip nervously. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he took her hand,

"Alright then, let's continue this inside." His voice was sweet but seductive, his grip firm yet gentle.

-–

As always, feel free to request a fic! :) Here's my third Zoro fic (I cannot stop writing about this man helP RJSGIOEJ) anyway, please lmk if you enjoyed this one! seeing comments on my last few fics made my day (maybe that's why i'm churning out these fics so fast??? LMAO) <3

#roronoa zoro x reader #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro x reader #zoro smut #zoro x y/n #zoro imagine #roronoa zoro #one piece fanfiction #one piece smut #one piece x reader #op smut #zoro #zoro reader

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bunnypansy · 5 months

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NSFW Alphabet: Rook Hunt!

Rated R for EXPLICIT CONTENT!

A short (hm.) script covering the ABCs of Rook's sex life!

Featuring: Rook Hunt, and you!

Beware! This film contains: gender neutral reader, knife play, blood play, sounding, somnophilia, predator/prey dynamics, voyeurism, exhibitionism, nudes, sex tapes, mirror sex, marking, dacryphilia, praise, body worship, masochism, overstimulation, bondage, impact play, guided masturbation, mutual masturbation, cucking (yeah), dick piercings, outdoor sex, public sex, stalking, face sitting, nipple play

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

You will NEVER catch a member of Pomefiore lackin when it comes to aftercare. No one is better at pillow talk than Rook Hunt. Too good. Make him stop talking. Seriously, this guy starts talking after you finish and doesn't stop until you fall asleep. Mostly about how well you did, how beautiful you are, certain things you did that he particularly liked. Rook doesn't like baths, so he'll give you a shower instead, but he's still going to pamper you. You won't have to lift a single finger- frankly he won't let you. After a soothing shower that he used as an excuse to worship your body, he'll place you in front of a vanity and tend to you like you're a delicate doll. A hand tucked beneath your knee as he lifts your leg, fingers smoothing over your thigh as he rubs a sweet-scented lotion into your skin, his mutterings becoming muffled through your sleepy haze.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For Rook to pick a single part of you he loves the most of an impossible task, this boy could go on and on and on about every part of your body down to your fingernails…however…. It's your eyes, definitely. He takes pleasure in seeing every micro expression you make, and your eyes just give it away. Definitely enjoys heavy eye contact during sex.

Rook’s favorite part of himself? Elementary, Watson, it’s his shoulders. Why, you ask? Well for one, his shoulders are very broad and well defined (catch me pushing my dorito-Rook agenda) from all the archery, and they’re still dotted with freckles from all his time in the sun, so he appreciates them aesthetically. However, much more important is the scratches you leave on them; red, raised, sometimes bleeding, nothing pleases him more than the physical evidence of your pleasure on his body.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

So… if you guys know anything about the semen and diet connection, you probably know that a high protein diet results in a very salty and sometimes uh… nasty flavor. We know Rook does a lot of exercise, and protein is a necessary component for building muscle so the first time you swallow for him it's a pretty gross experience. However, with a sustained relationship, Rook will happily change his diet for you so his cum has a bit more of a neutral taste. In terms of texture, he remains well hydrated so it's a bit syrupy and has a nice slightly off-white color. Rook likes cumming both in and on you, so every time you fuck, you are sure to end up with cum dripping from your hole and stuck to your face by the end of the night.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He desperately wants to let a couple other men have their way with you and photograph the whole thing. Rook has always enjoyed watching you masturbate, nearly as much as he enjoys bringing you pleasure, this is simply a natural progression of those desires. Ideally, there'd be If he could truly have his way, he'd film everything, then make you watch it back while he fucks you; the whole time commenting on little things you do that drive him crazy and attempting to recreate what happened in the video. Honestly, Rook is so up front about what he wants that is hardly a secret

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

His experience is middling. I believe Rook has probably had 3-4 relationships, but none of them lasted longer than a year (he was a bit too obsessive and his partners were put off). He's fairly experienced, but also knows that it's important to learn the intricacies of every person he's with, and not everything he knows will work instantly. Rook will approach every session like a learning experience, exploring new places and techniques to make sure he can find all the little spots that drive you crazy- and once he does, God knows he's going to abuse the fuck outta them. Also his first time was in the woods, thanks

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Before I start, I'm drawing a firm line; Rook Hunt does not like doggy style- or anything where he can't see your face! He firmly believes that any position where he can't see your beauty is a waste of his time. So of course he likes missionary and the mating press, but his real favorites require some extra supplies. Namely a mirror. If Rook is feeling rough, he'll shove you right up against the mirror and take you from behind; but usually he prefers to have you settled on his lap, one arm hooked beneath your leg to lift it up to your shoulder as he fucks you. He likes having the free hand to tease you with (:

Now, I know everybody likes big dom Rook but he's a switch okay guys. The seeing your face rule sticks for even when he bottoms, he needs to see you constantly. Honestly missionary has to take number one for him, but he's also real fond of being tied to the bed, it gives him no choice but to admire you as you work.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Usually if there's laughter in the bedroom, it's just Rook teasing you a bit, but that doesn't mean he's no fun! Having a partner you can laugh with is valuable to Rook, so if something happens while you're fucking it out, he won't be afraid to giggle a little, maybe poke a bit of fun at you, then rather easily slip right back into sexy times.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's part of Pomefiore, did you think this man was anything but well-shaved? Frankly, his pubic hair is beautiful, somehow princely?? It's fine and light, but very soft and incredibly well trimmed- not to mention always clean, and never smells like ball sweat. He can't manage to grow a happy trail, just a tiny little path that starts beneath the waistband of his pants and ends in a small tuft at the base of his dick. Otherwise, he's completely shaved down there, smooth balls and not even ass hair.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Painfully so. Rook will be intimate with whomever he chooses to bed, fuck buddies, one night stand or long term lover, it’s just in his nature. He has a knack for making your feel like the most gorgeous, lovable person on the planet while you two have sex- it’s something in the way he holds you, unabashedly keeping his eyes on your face the entire time he presses kisses against your neck between proclamations of your beauty, checking in and focusing wholly on how you feel. Your pleasure is his, afterall. Never, not even once, will you get the impression that Rook isn’t madly in love with you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

A lot. Once a day, maybe more, if we're all honest with ourselves. Rook is a man who loves indulging his senses- He's got a high libido and he uses his own orgasm as an energy boost, which is enough to make a horny man, but he's also incredibly easy to rile up. He fully indulges the pleasure of masturbation, his favorite places to do so being your bed and outside. Rook really draws out the process; starting with gloves on, letting the leather get slick from his own precum as he slowly strokes up and down the length, squeezing around the tip just for a bit of extra pressure. Eventually, he'll pull the glove off and touch himself a bit more fervently, by now he's getting noisier, letting slip soft calls of your name, whimpering as he rocks his hips into his hand. Rook only whacks it while thinking about or looking at pictures of you, after all, you're the most beautiful thing in the world, what else would he touch himself to?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks):

Voyeurism: I think we could all see this coming. The stalker, a voyeur?! Shocking. He prefers when you don't know he's watching you (he'll receive consent beforehand don't worry boo-boo), something about the thrill of getting caught makes blood rush to his dick. Please let him take photos though

Photography/filming: Master of the nude.Sending you nudes, receiving nudes, whatever it is, Rook likes it. Rook’s nudes are downright artful. The lighting and angles are always perfect, even at night, and he never fails to look beautiful. Rook is the king of the post work-out gym bathroom photo; standing before the mirror with the hem of his shirt between his teeth. He likes to record when he's fucking you too, just so he can watch it throughout his day as a sort of pick me up. He's also fond of some good photos after sex when you're an absolute mess, expect for him to gush over them in your presence

Exhibitionism: this goes well with the voyeurism kink, one of his greatest fantasies would be watching you have sex with another person, then get caught jerking off to you two

Mirror sex: Tenfold if you're self-conscious, he makes your anxiety his pet project. To Rook Hunt, there is nothing sexier than sitting you in lap, legs spread, forced to watch yourself while he fucks you to stupidity. Not to mention, he gets the best view of your body.

Marking: Take a shot every time you read beautiful- but really, he thinks you look beautiful covered in little rose and violet hickies. A painting of his conception, an empty canvas covered in his marks. If you cover them with makeup he'll sneakily wipe it away every time you see each other that day.

Dacryphilia: there's nothing that makes his pride swell more than bringing you to pleasured tears. Of course, Rook isn't the type to enjoy your pain, he'll never want to see you cry because you're scared or hurt, but if it's because you're overwhelmed? Then he's happy to make you cry even harder.

Praise: Again, a guy who cannot stop talking, specifically about you. It's even worse if you're self-conscious; he'll make you sit in front of a mirror, on his lap and guide you through every part of your body and why he loves it, and you. Oh and of course Rook does the standard encouragement. Murmuring sweet things as he slowly pushes into you; "good job, you're taking me so well" or "deep breaths, darling, I'm almost all the way in". And when you're close to cumming; "ah- you're close, aren't you? Go on, cum for me, you can do it"

Body worship: I feel like this one is obvious. He loves everything about you, he finds every inch positively beautiful. If Rook wasn't so hopelessly horny for you, he'd do nothing but kiss every part of your body up and down. But alas. Horny.

Predator/Prey: must I even elaborate? Man is literally a hunter. However, Rook prefers a long con; stalking you throughout the day, appearing here and there, then finally striking when you're all alone. What he really likes is watching you get nervous and fidgety before you finally break and run away from him, so Rook can chase after you. In the end it'll probably end up with you two wrestling and he's absolutely okay with however it turns out- win or lose

Overstimulation: this is on pleasure dom Rook!!! All Rook really wants to do is make you feel good as much as possible, even if that leaves you twitching and crying because you've cum 6 times in a row.

Masochism: PAINSLUT ROOK!!! Rook likes everything you give him, and if what you give him happens to be pain? So be it, lay it on, baby. Nails scratching down his back, biting, hitting- just anything

Bondage: something about being physically tied down makes him feel like a hunted animal, like you two have been fighting back and this is the result of his failure. Rook, the perfect hunter, lines to feel like he's been defeated once in a while, it keeps things fresh!

Impact play: This is for bottom Rook for sure, but please spank him, slap him, whip him. You could slap Rook across the face and he'd get hard. I'm not even kidding. He's particularly fond of riding crops, especially on the inside of his thighs or across his back

Knife play: cut him. Do it. Do it. Do it. Being roughed up makes Rook feel satisfied, bruising, bleeding. And yeah he'd absolutely be okay with branding- if you're in a long term relationship. Cut your name into his thigh, he wants it

Blood play: Rook finds the look of blood against skin striking and gorgeous, he's not inclined to hurt you unless you ask, you can draw blood from him however you like. Hitting him til he gets a bloody nose? Hot. Biting him til he bleeds? Hot. Cutting him up? Hot.

Somnophilia: Rook is nasty okay. His stalker tendencies and love of vulnerability have made a monster, and if you'd let him, Rook would love to sneak in your room and fuck you while you're fast sleep

Guided/mutual masturbation: tell me that Rook wouldn't make you sit on his lap while you jerk off, you can't. Sat in front of a mirror, guiding you through every move so he can watch you write and get his lap all wet. Ahhh he's so cute

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

If you're okay fucking somewhere, so is Rook. If you let him, Rook would fuck you in front of anyone and everyone, this is NOT hyperbole. While the preference isn't strong, I think Rook probably prefers to have sex in public places that anyone could walk into; living room, kitchen, the counter of a public bathroom- of course the woods is a classic. The risk of being caught gives him a thrill that the bedroom just can't do!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

It's the little things with Rook; how your neck looks when you turn your head, the little way you jump when he sneaks up behind you, how it feels when he can overpower you. Generally, Rook likes seeing you vulnerable, that's part of the reason he enjoys stalking so much.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Genuinely this was so hard to think of, but Rook won't treat you like trash. I know some of us like mean, cruel men, but Rook won't do it, he refuses to mar your beauty or tell lies about his feelings towards you. One of Rook's defining traits is unwavering, brutal honesty, so chances are Rook will never degrade you- he just cares too much. Doesn't mean you can't degrade him though-

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Giving, for sure. He likes seeing the cute faces you make while sucking him off, sure, but he thinks the noises you make while he's tongue fucking you are much better. If Rook is going to give you, head you're going to ride his face though- it's the best position! Sitting on Rook's face means A) he can see all your facial expressions and B) you can quite easily make him do whatever you want, which sounds lovely to him

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Honestly Rook will move at whatever pace you like but let's forget about that for a minute. Rook naturally wants to start out slow and sensual, dragging his cock along your walls, making sure to hit all your sensitive spots with each thrust in and out. As he goes along, Rook gets more excited and his thrusts pick up speed, turning a bit more rough and shallow until he's finally cumming. When Rook cums, he goes still while he's fully inside you, shuddering and moaning as he fills you up. He's got a habit for biting when he cums, like an animal sinking his teeth in to make sure you stay there while he finishes.

Now, I'll elaborate on quick rounds with Rook because they're a bit different. If you need to be fast, or if Rook is so horny he's gone feral, the word "slow" exits his dictionary. His thrusts start and stay hard, fast, and deep, it really gets across the desperation he feels good you, how cute 🫶

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Absolutely! Rook has no problems with a little pick-me-up sex, something to just satisfy your needs and move on. Of course, he prefers to draw out sex, but also takes a good amount of pleasure in tearing as many orgasms from you as fast as he can before sending you on your way, weak-kneed and sweating. I like to think Rook keeps a vibrator on him just got this sort of occasion

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Are you kidding me rn. Rook is the risk man, the only ones fighting him for this position are the tweels, and it's real close. Rook could approach you with something new to try every single week, and if you're the one to ask for experimenting, it's highly unlikely Rook will never say no. Maybe to like… vomit? Any way you slice it, Rook if freaky deaky and pulling you along with it

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

We all know Rook is athletic, baby!! I give it six rounds before Rook gets a bit too overstimulated and needs to give his dick a break before it turns purple, but he's happy to go on pleasuring you while he gets a little rest- but chances are you're exhausted by then too. How long each round lasts really depends on what you're doing, but he can last around 25-35 minutes before- not including any foreplay -so it'll really be up to you to keep up

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

This country boy is mostly an acoustics only partner. It's not that he's against toys, there's just nothing he's particularly interested in using on you. I believe Rook owns a good ol wand vibrator that he uses on you during guided/mutual masturbation, just because he appreciates how squirmy and whiny you get when he presses the toy against your sensitive spots.

But if you're using toys on him oh well… that is a different story. I think he mostly prefers good ol 'weiner up his ass, but Rook is real fond of a good vibrating cock ring and a few bullet vibes- taped to his nipples or the base of his cock. He also likes nipple clamps, ball gags, blind folds, riding crops, and basic whips.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

You'll be shocked but Rook mostly likes to play things fair, he'll tease a little but Rook is straightforward. If Rook wants to fuck you, he'll just come out and ask, no need for any roundabout games! When it comes to actually having sex, Rook wants to make you feel good, he's not going to delay making you cum your brains out!

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Rook Hunt is for sure the noisiest man you’ve ever met. Not that he’s a screamer, moreso, he will not stop talking. We all know he can go on for hours about things he’s passionate about, but he’ll hardly let you get a word in edgewise, he’s too busy going on and on babbling about how gorgeous you are, how good you feel, praising how well you’re doing, murmuring sweet nothings- proud member and president of the “can’t shut the fuck up” club. Of course, you’ll get some good, loud moans from him too (usually interrupting his endless chatter). Rook is more of a moan guy than a grunt guy, it comes out high and is usually accompanied with a shudder and pleased sigh.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Sounding. This is WILD but Rook likes wild, and he would absolutely be 1000% be down for sounding, in fact he's the one who brought it up. He's already done research, he's already bought toys- come babe, keep up, get the rod in his dickhole already!! (Also I think he has piercing nipples, they're just basic golden studs, but they look cute on him)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Rook is rocking long but kinda skinny. He's around 5.5 inches in flaccid, getting up to an even 7 when he's fully hard- man is a major league grower. As I said, a bit on the skinny side and no prominent veins, but his tip is a lovely cute pink and he gets so twitchy and leaky when he's hard. I'm not sure he has a dick piercing, just because he's a bit worried about the healing interrupting his sex life or exercise, but Rook has thought about getting a piercing or two- guiche or prince Albert I think

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Turning on Rook is like turning on a light switch; you only need one good slap and you could do it with your eyes closed. You could breathe too close to him and Rook would get hard. Rook would fuck you every single day, multiple times a day if you let him. He's not afraid to ask you- or send videos of himself masturbating to the thought of you! Mwah enjoy the teasing babe

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It really depends on whether or not he tops, honestly. In terms of topping? Rook could never sleep after sex, it makes him energized! For this reason, Rook actually prefers not to have sex after dark, morning or midday sex works out better for him. After a good round or two, sometimes Rook will go straight into a workout.

Bottom Rook, though? He still feels refreshed but he's more likely to just settle down for a little while and chill out. He likes to lay back with you and blab on about whatever comes to mind- Rook low-key the king of pillow talk, he could give a 5 page essay debrief on your sex life.

That's all for today's showing guys, thank you for watching!

Hooooo boy! This one takes the cake for the longest alphabet yet at 3.8k (for reference, Trey's was 2.1k) this alphabet gave me some trouble, I didn't expect Rook to give me this much of a challenge! I think I got in my own head and tried to make this one really professional for a lil, then I went back a read some of my last alphabets and eased up. But there was a lot of writing, re-writing and re-formatting- sorry @birtha I did not mean to take this long, but it's finally done and I hope you like it! Also for that anon who sent in the Barbatos req, I see you, I hear you, I love you, it's in the works. Mwah thanks for reading you guys are baller

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eamour · 11 months

Text

don't rush the process.

this is a post that goes out to all the people who currently have this "i need to have it now!! what‘s the fastest way??" mindset. i am telling you now that you do don’t need to rush the process. yes, you will get all of your desires. no "what if's", no "but's" — you have the ability to make your life beautiful and you will do that, regardless of how much time it might take you.

feel free to take your time.

actually, time doesn’t exist. hence the concept of the multiverse and parallel realities happening in this moment where you experience time very differently (in one reality you are a 13 year old, in one you are 45, in the other a day is 75 hours long, or in one reality an hour is 30 minutes long, and so on), time isn’t linear. it really pretty much is relative (einstein, our lord and saviour).

step by step.

take in the information, one by one. reorganize your thoughts and spend some time maybe facing and analyzing them. why do you have these thoughts? what makes you feel that way? try to get down to the roots of the issue.

you can organize thoughts by maybe writing them down. by maybe talking to someone about it. or maybe even talking to yourself. the main point of this is that you stop keeping negative thoughts to yourself. you might not be aware of it, but trying to not think of bad things doesn’t necessarily mean that you stop persisting in them. that’s not how a mental diet works. you face the issue, you comprehend it, and then you go against it. after you have witnessed a possible undesirable outcome, you can choose to declare it as false. — as in "it will simply not happen!", "nah, not true" or "this is so wrong". that’s when you start to persist in the outcome that you want to manifest or at least stop persisting in an assumption that you dislike, fear or hate.

take a break, if you want.

if you ever feel overwhelmed by all the information you think you might have overconsumed, take a step back and let yourself breathe. let your thoughts flow through your mind and just calm down, take a break. sometimes we need to slow down before we can continue again. sometimes you really just need to collect yourself and become aware of the intrusive thoughts you are having that just become louder and louder the more you try to force manifesting. it’s up to you to recognize that and to decide to give yourself some rest. there is nothing wrong with mentally resting and it’s definitely not something to be ashamed of. on the other hand, i think it might be very necessary at times. people who have a goal and who want to achieve it no matter what within the shortest amount of time often refuse to take breaks and just become entirely unavailable for a pause. and i understand that very well. but a break doesn’t have to be tiring. it doesn’t mean that you don’t get to do anything and force yourself even more to not think of anything unfavourable. taking a break means to allow thoughts, even negative ones, instead of forcefully pushing them away and trying to ignore them although you can’t seem to stop persisting in them. sometimes we encounter undesirable thoughts and they keep reappearing and sometimes we just need to let it happen. trust me, you aren’t taking steps backwards or erasing your progress. you are simply observing your thoughts instead of reacting to them right immediately.

you are already doing just fine.

there is simply no reason to rush all of this. no one expects you to have your desires and be a perfect runway model with a penthouse by next week. you are the only person in your life that can dictate yourself what to do, that can grant you your wishes, that can console and understand you… be empathetic with yourself. some people put such immense pressure on themselves, it’s really not doing you any good. yes, i totally get it. you want to have your desires as soon as possible, you might wanna show off, just break out of this cycle and show the world what you got. i know you want to prove it to yourself and maybe even the people around you as well. but you are perfect no matter what. you are a winner no matter what. you don’t need to manifest all of your desires right away and be a genius at persisting. you already manifest at all times, no one is going to judge your progress. and the same way you don’t need to "earn" the title "master manifestor". the fact that you are you, the main character, the only person in your reality that can manifest, makes you a master already. you have no one to compare yourself to other than yourself.

with love, ella.

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onyourowndaisymae · 1 year

Note

hi!!!!!! can i request the minecraft post u did for the dateables but for the brothers? i love ur writing sm it's so cute <3333

obey me brothers playing minecraft with you

thank you so much for the love <33 this was actually a lot of fun to write because all of these men are so very ridiculous. cheers to my first ever request!

[dateables version]

content warnings: language, bullying the villagers, killing the animals, you know how minecraft is

prompt: you've somehow convinced these guys to play minecraft, a human world game, one night, just the two of you. but how exactly does that experience go?

{established relationship, obey me x reader with the brothers}

Lucifer

oh. oh peepaw.

you really have to coax this man into playing with you. he's perfect at everything, all the time-- to engage in activity like this one, in front of you of all people, wounds his ego more than he'd like to admit. he doesn't want you to see him be bad at something. what if you no longer respect him? what if his inability to comprehend the little block people's actions are enough to ruin your love for him? he's genuinely distressed about this (not that he'd let it show), but you seem interested, so he reluctantly agrees.

two key things are necessary when playing minecraft with lucifer: patience and teamwork.

leaving him to do any task alone is daunting. the perfectionism paralyzes him a bit in these moments. take him with you! collect wood together, mine in the same mineshaft, hunt monsters together-- all of it starts to ease his mind when you work together. he starts to focus not on his pride but his love for you and spending quality time by your side.

as time progresses, he does eventually get a grip in the controls and mechanics-- well, as much as you can expect a dinosaur like him to understand. you still do a lot of tasks together in-game, but it's more of camaraderie thing by that point. he just likes being by your side, okay? don't make him say it, or you'll be hunting monsters by yourself bestie.

lucifer is also a really big fan of the soundtrack. it's so simple yet well-composed, a stark different to that garish video game music levi listens to. please play with the sound up and let him enjoy the sound of the rain intermingling with the music; his relaxed face is very cute.

Mammon

what's that? you wanna play minecraft with the great mammon? of course you do! he's gonna be the best player you've ever seen, just ya wait-- what's that? no, he's never touched the game before, but he knows he'll be fantastic. watch and learn, baybee, cuz the great mammon is here to show up and show out.

what he lacks in skill, he makes up several times over in enthusiasm. this is important, because he absolutely lacks skill.

mammon is a dangerous combination of unobservant and overenthusiastic, leading to every stupid situation you can think of. he thinks he sees an important resource, so he leaves for juuust a second... boom. he's lost. he somehow manages to attract lava in every. single. cave. at this point, you have to ban him from carrying anything important.

one thing he is good at is monster hunting. he's made it his mission from day 1 to protect you, whether it be real life or in a video game. he'll face a monster-- enderman, creeper, sneaky skeleton, you name it-- without an ounce of fear if it means you'll live another in-game day (some might call this excessive, but you just call it cute).

like everything with mammon, sometimes his instinct to protect you goes overboard. he tries to ban you from entering the mines and going outside at night because what if a monster gets you, human?? fortunately for you, he never figured out how to run in-game, so just sprint past him and carry on.

on a completely unrelated note-- this greedy motherfucker (said with SO much affection) hordes all the treasures in-game like a dragon. his goal is to build you two a mansion of diamond and gold. this is very cute if you once again ignore the fact that he keeps FALLLING IN LAVA with all his vauables. y'all are never getting anywhere in this game.

Leviathan

levi is, hands down, the best person to play minecraft with. you don't have to teach him a thing-- in fact, he's probably the one that brought it up to you!

he's very pleased that you'd indulge in one of his hobbies like this, regardless of whether you actually play video games or not. just the thought of you there, sitting next to him, hanging out with him because you want to be around a shut-in otaku like him... the thought gives him butterflies.

... y'all can't actually share a house by the way. he gets too flustered. make a joke about putting your minecraft beds together and he's blushing. it does not matter how long you've been together, his reaction will always be the same.

he's one of the only ones that you can progress through the game with. bashful levi is amazing in the mines. he's got a system down pat that'll help you guys find your way back to the entry point, where he's set up a base camp with chests and resources so you won't have to resurface until you're done. smart, right?

y'all actually go to the nether and the end. he's very quick to pick up the game's mechanics and use his luck to to help you guys progress. every victory is shared; what's the fun of winning if you're not winning together?

levi will play with you basically any time you ask. he loves when you refer to it as "our minecraft world". better yet, praise him for all his hard work in making your world and watch him melt. he's just a sucker for your love, and the fact that he's actually good at this activity makes him all the more happy to do it with you.

Satan

satan doesn't really know much about this game that you're describing, but he's willing to play it with you if you're really that interested. he's always ready to learn more about things from the human world; when you tell him this is one of the most popular games up on earth, he wants to try it at least once.

satan is not the best in general at video games, but he's quick-witted and resourceful, so the two of you get by just fine. the problem mostly lies in the fact that satan's audacity gets you into trouble sometimes. there is no little voice in his head telling him not to do something potentially dangerous and stupid, especially if there's some reward to gain on the other side. he is fully convinced he can take on an iron golem with a stone sword and no armor, just you watch--

be carefully with letting him run around freely. there's lots of ways to die in this game, and each failure pokes at the embers of wrath below his cool exterior.

this intelligent lil guy figures out redstone pretty damn quick. he'll use this knowledge to create lots of little creations meant to make your camp better. whether or not this actually helps is an entirely different story... but look! a gate! aren't you so proud of him? (please praise him, he needs it so bad)

and you wouldn't be playing with satan if all progress didn't come to a stop the moment he spots an ocelot. when you tell him you can befriend them, he's overjoyed. look at how cute they are! one ocelot turns into two, then three, then four... suddenly there's a small army of ocelots in your house that he's caring for. y'all better make room in your joint minecraft bed or satan will feel like a bad cat dad. he's so ridiculous and i love him

Asmodeus

this man plays minecraft with his priorities straight-- he spends way too long creating a cute character skin to play with, then builds a cute house and decorates it to the nines, then focuses on finding himself the cutest armor and weapons... all before doing literally anything productive, btw.

do not expect asmodeus to be much help. he's mostly there for moral support. he cannot do things "for survival" like gathering food and resources or building a starter home. everything must be perfect, or it doesn't get done. asmo did not craft himself a bed until he was able to dye the wool pink and have a cute pink bed. he cannot bring himself to live in an ugly house, so you either need to help him or listen to him whine about getting rained on or attacked by monsters until he's done.

this is not to imply that playing with asmo is not fun!!

asmo is not a monster hunter, a miner, or any good at gathering resources. however, his experience with makeup makes him insanely creative. while you might not have a house for several days, the end result even gives barbatos' house a run for its money. his decor is always very cute and clean, soft even in the blocky 2D world. he'll make your whole base camp aesthetically pleasing if you let him (please let him-- his smile is worth it).

asmo often finds himself a damsel in distress. he'll fall in holes and get very confused, scream when he gets attacked, and generally need you to protect him at every turn. succeed, though, and he'll hail you as one of the most amazing people he's ever met. the game will be discarded as he throws his arms around you, kissing you all over the face and showering you in praises, all for saving his house from a stray creeper.

oh, and he'll definitely put your beds next to each other and smirk at you. what did you expect from the avatar of lust? cornball

Beelzebub

sweet, beloved baby beel. he's ready and willing to play with you whenever. if you want to make some actual progress, prepare lots of snacks and set a cozy atmosphere to keep him full and content. playing with the avatar of gluttony does require a little prep in that regard.

this (metaphorical) angel really has a hard time killing any of the livestock. he apologizes aloud anytime he has to slay one and explains to the poor creature why he's killing them. sorry, little sheep guy, but you two need to make beds. the cows make him feel especially bad because they remind him of belphie.

he's really big on making sure you guys have a secure, safe home to hide away in. sometimes, things get really overwhelming in the game, so he wants you to have a space where you feel safe and protected enough to calm down. this bunker is definitely a bit ugly, but we can't win them all.

play with him long enough and all the food will start looking really tasty to him. that bread looks a little too real, doesn't it, mc? and that cake is so life-like... redirect him to his snack horde, stat.

he also wants to do all of your tasks together. when he's there with you, he can make sure you're safe or offer you help when your struggling to complete a task on your own. he want to make sure you're having fun! let him help you, please, it makes him feel loved. he likes spending time with you.

definitely doesn't get the "putting your minecraft beds together" joke. you can either explain the to him and watch him blush, or let him live with the assumption that it's for extra cuddle room.

Belphegor

you've got to coax belphie into playing with you for a few days, because honestly? that sounds like a lot of work. not only does he have to participate, but he's also got to learn, too? he's already yawning just talking about it all.

he'll eventually snuggle in with his back against your chest and your arms clumsily holding the controller in front of him. he doesn't particularly care that this position makes gaming difficult for you, not when you're cuddling him like this. it's really a win-win situation in his eyes: he'll play the little block game if you shower him in unconditional affection any time he wants. what a deal! his youngest child energy really shows in times like these.

belphie is heartless when it comes to raiding villages and collecting resources. what's that? you feel bad? they're not real, mc. they don't have feelings. they don't care that you're stealing from them. if it really makes you feel bad he'll stop, but he will complain about how much easier things could have been if you'd just robbed a village or two.

somehow, some way, he's also super lucky?? he'll stumble upon rare resources with little to no effort and snicker about how you're still scrambling for supplies. don't worry, he'll share. only if you beg, though. go on. he wants to hear it. maybe, maybe he'll be willing to give you the diamonds he found if you convince him. (what a fucking menace!)

he will, eventually, fall asleep while playing. the music is too soft and your arms around him are too warm for him to not drift off. that's okay. carefully take the controller away from him, save the game, shut down the system, and settle in for the night. he'll cuddle closer in his sleep, unconsciously touched by the gesture, and drag you into dreamland with him.

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memoriesndew · 1 month

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what to do when you feel overwhelmed or oversaturated

As we continue into the year we have a lot of goals and a lot of things we would like to achieve and in the process of achieving them we might feel overwhelmed or oversaturated here are a few things that help me when I feel overwhelmed or oversaturated

💭 take a break (cue take a break from Hamilton) — get away from the circumstance or task that is making you feel overwhelmed. take a quick break to reset your mind and refresh. a few minutes of deep breathing, stretching, watching an episode of your favourite series or going for a stroll can be beneficial. I am someone who, in some ways, overwhelms myself. what I mean by this is that I have work divided by certain days, but I try to do everything at once because I tell myself that if I do it now, I'll have a lot of free time later - I don't end up having free time and I just overwhelm myself to work, and taking a break between everything helps.

💭 practice mindfulness — mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation, can help you calm your mind and relieve stress. Concentrate on the current moment and let go of concerns about the past and future.

💭 set boundaries — If you're already feeling overloaded, learn to say no to new obligations or tasks. Set boundaries to safeguard your time and energy, and don't be hesitant to delegate chores or request assistance when necessary.

💭 prioritize tasks — Identify the most important things that require your immediate attention and work on them first. Break down larger jobs into smaller, more manageable steps and complete them one at a time.

💭 limit stimuli — If you're feeling overwhelmed by information or stimuli, make efforts to reduce your exposure. This could include turning off notifications on your phone or computer, unsubscribing from unneeded emails or newsletters, or taking a brief break from social media or news intake.

💭 practice self-care — Take care of your physical and mental health by participating in activities that nourish and renew you. This could involve getting adequate sleep, eating good meals, exercising frequently, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in enjoyable hobbies and activities.

💭 seek support — Seek encouragement and support from friends, family, or trustworthy colleagues. Sometimes simply talking to someone about how you're feeling will make you feel less overwhelmed.

💭 seek professional help — If feelings of overwhelm continue or have a substantial impact on your daily functioning, consider obtaining help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counsellor. They can teach methods and coping mechanisms to assist you to better handle stress and overwhelm.

Remember that it is normal to feel overwhelmed from time to time, especially when dealing with difficult events or hectic seasons in life. Be gentle to yourself, and remember that you can get through challenging situations with resilience and support.

bye bye my dew drops!!

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vidavalor · 4 months

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Banana. Fruit. Plant. Food. Sustains life for animals and humans alike. "And what are they putting in bananas these days?!" First of Aziraphale's magic words. Symbolic of plant life on Earth.

Fish. The ocean. Oysters. Sushi. "Why do you eat *that*?"/"It's what humans do." "Bouilla...bouilla...bouilla... baby... fish stew. Anyway!" Symbolic of marine life on Earth. Love. Sex. He probably wins prizes for his tropical fish.

Gorilla. Also: Go-RILL-a, if you're Mr. Harmony. Animals. Ancient ancestors of humanity. Big fans of bananas; do not typically eat fish. (Rill. A small stream. Carries fish. Represents water, necessary to all life on Earth.) Gorillas represent the animal kingdom, the connection between animals and humans, and the interdependency of Earth's ecosystem. Earth is a balance of banana (plant life), fish (marine life), gorilla (animal life) and...

Shoelace. Humanity. First word in the sequence of Aziraphale's magic words that isn't a type of living thing but is, instead, an invention of the living thing it represents. Humanity is defined in Aziraphale's magic words by its bipedalism and its innovation-- by its ability to create, develop and use tools to improve its existence... but then also by their ability to keep refining, to keep trying, to keep progressing. Humans walk on two legs and created tools and created shoes to support that endeavor and then the shoelace to make the shoes better. Have you found the missing antichrist's name, age and shoe size yet? Humans walk-- they go ever forward, even if they sometimes go backwards. They are defined by their creativity and imagination and the determination to keep progressing. They create art and so they get a word full of symbolism because of their ability to make art and seek meaning and ask questions. Aziraphale loves them so.

(with a) Dash of Nutmeg. Civilization and evolution. Nutmeg comes from the nutmeg tree, in a full circle back to plant life. Dash of nutmeg is then the world created by these creative shoelaces. An ever-growing and changing world, full of refinement of and appreciation for life on Earth. A dash of nutmeg is learning and experimentation. Figuring out the right amount. Just a dash of nutmeg can change the whole taste of a dish and bring it to the next level. No nutmeg in a dish that needs it-- or too much? Not the same. No almond syrup where it's needed-- or too much? Not the same, maybe even a bit dangerous. To know that is to learn it... and to learn it is to either experiment yourself and/or to learn from the experience of humans. Aziraphale's love of being a student of humanity through the ages. Reading their books, absorbing their music and theatre. Letting them teach him French and magic and about food and love. A dash of nutmeg is literally the spice of life. To eat the right dish with just a dash of nutmeg is to experience the joy of life on Earth-- to experience pleasure from consuming the fruits of the Earth. It's living. It's to eat life alive.

A hefty jigger. Doesn't exist. A jigger is precise, is quantifiable; a dash is a flick of the wrist and is less precise, more improvisational, just enough. You cannot have a hefty jigger. You can, though, always have a dash. See: nutmeg. See: almond syrup, as Nina pours into Aziraphale's coffee usual coffee order, as ordered by The Metatron. If you say 'dash' when you order in the shop but 'hefty jigger' when you deliver to your mark, you're wanting to look like a savvy, old man to the barista to get the order right... but you're intentionally attempting to look clueless to Aziraphale, to make him think he'll be needed to help you navigate humanity. It means you do know how to order coffee but you are pretending you do not to the person you are trying to manipulate. It means you're a liar.

A jigger is measured by shots. By the shot is one way you can order coffee. Coffee is freedom. Give me coffee or give me death. Give me liberty or give me death. Does anybody ever ask for death? Some wise-cracking asshole has to ask Nina for it at least once a week but she says no when The Metatron asks because no one ever *really* asks for death. Not seriously. Not as anything but a joke. They all ask for their beverage of choice. They all ask for freedom or comfort or pleasure or all of the above. Wanting to live is predictable to our villain but it's understandable to the rest of us. Living on this magical Earth can be a lot at times but it also is the most amazing thing imaginable.

No one knows that better than Crowley, who spans the gamut of coffee orders (among other beverages). Dessert coffee-- espresso, cream, maybe some alcohol-- in a small, Irish-coffee-style mug in 1.01 during a lazy afternoon lunch but also, on a stressful morning, this...

Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup. Crowley. But only sometimes. And not really. Not when we know him better than Nina does. Not when we've seen him twice order his symbolic liberty at a slower pace and cut it with some sweetness along the way. Not when The Bentley in S2 showed us that he drives fast, he pounds espresso, and it's all anxiety. Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup really wants to drive 52 miles an hour, per The Bentley, and slowly sip half a fluffy dessert coffee at lunch at The Ritz with Aziraphale. Crowley wants everyone to see him as Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup but he's not. He's...

Crowley. Bildad the Shuite.

Bildad. Means, quite literally, "old friend," as Sitis' mind translated upon his request. Aziraphale's oldest friend. Humanity's oldest friend. Also means "loved by the Lord." He's And the Voice of Frances McDormand's favorite, if only They'd put him out of his misery and share that. the Shuite. Means, as Michael points out, "from the land of Shua" but Michael doesn't really fully get it. It is not where you are from; it is not what kind of species you are. It is not what you "are", whatever that even is. Heaven, Hell, angels, demons, it's all... pointless, as Crowley tells Shax in 2.01. Bildad does not define Shuite as a place-related name; he does not define humanity as tied to beings of a specific region or to a species, even, really. Humanity is not the exclusive domain of people of any one race or ethnicity or religion or species. Being a Shuite isn't where you're from or if you are human only or if you have a human corporation but others call you an angel or a demon... Bildad defines Shuite as what you do or what you are learning how to do. He defines being a Shuite as how you're interacting with the world on Earth and how you are spending your days. Being a Shuite is something you *do* and freedom is the choice of what that is, which some unfortunately have more than others. What does Bildad *do* then, as *the* Shuite?

Bildad the Shuite. Professional midwife/cobbler. The demon who delivered humanity from The Garden of Eden, and who now lives among them, working hard as a professional shoemaker, helping them forward and letting them teach him just as much.

A shoelace. A human.

And like the rest of us, he's making this shit up as he goes. Nothing more human than that, really.

Banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace, with a dash of nutmeg. Aziraphale's magic words. His mantra. The only full prayer we've ever really heard him say. His history of Earth as he's observed and lived it with Bildad the Shuite for thousands of years. The words mostly work when he needs them to but sometimes they fail and that's okay. As a certain angel excited to be on Earth once said while pretending to be a human in the bookshop, the error they made just then proved they were human. It did, indeed, even if Muriel doesn't quite yet understand just how human they are.

Nazis. Fascist motherfuckers who seek to suppress free thought and oppress others through dehumanizing violence. Can be expert lip readers. Can be multilingual. Can understand language on a technical, surface level that makes their inability to understand context very darkly funny. I am played for a sucker. You are played for a sucker. He, she, it are played for suckers... Dangerous as all hell in their willful ignorance, their lack of critical thinking and their complete lack of empathy.

Zombies. Those who are asleep to their surroundings. Those who do not seek to understand context and dive for deeper meaning. Those who do not engage with art (and, if they're Nazis, those who seek to suppress it.) Those who are full of apathy. Those who do not question. Those who think like how others tell them to think. Those who are content with surface understanding, not deeper meaning.

Flesheaters. Zombies-- in the horror movie sense. Those with a bloodlust for brains. Those who murder with impunity to satisfy a violent, dark hunger. Those with dark impulses that harm others; the polar opposites of hungering for pleasure from food, art, sex, love, companionship. The thematic opposites of Crowley and Aziraphale.

Nazi Zombie Flesheaters. Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt, Mr. Harmony and Mr. Glozier. Multilingual members of the Nazi Party, one of whom is an expert lip reader. They are zombies, as shown by how they lack the imagination, intellectual curiosity, critical thinking skills, and creativity to be able to decode the deeper meaning of the surface words they read and recite correctly but do not actually comprehend. They do not seek to understand how a creative magic trick is being performed before their eyes because they fail to even notice that one is, even when presented with an abundance of contextual clues. They're also, in their cases, flesheaters. They roam around London eating innocent, free-thinking brains-- quite literally suppressing thought. In The Blitz, Part 1, they were already Nazi Zombies. In The Blitz, Part 2, they become the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters.

Jiggery-pokery. Cutesy-sounding British phrase with a darker origin. Means 'trickery'. Means 'deceit'. Not in an innocent way, like the sleight of hand deception of a magic show... or the sleight-of-hand tricks played by writers and performers on a television show with recurring motifs around spies and magic and wordplay and hidden romance and a whole secret language imbedded in its dialogue. Origin of jiggery-pokery: British Army, mid-1800s. Used to refer to homosexual sex acts, then illegal, amongst soldiers in its ranks when targeting them. Evolved a bit in modern times to a lighter-sounding term meaning cute trickery but still equally refers in definition to gay sex, conducted in secret, and by those who are then threatened with exposure by other soldiers who feel homosexuality goes against the morals of the unit. Used onstage by The Marvelous Mr. Fell to describe his complicated relationship with human magic, which metaphorical for his own humanity, in contrast with his role as one of God's soldiers, a moment before his partner gets on stage to perform some of that humanity with him. It is not performative, though, because humanity is not exclusive to humans; humanity is to be a Shuite and love is love. In the audience: a soldier from Bildad's unit and the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters, working in tandem to out Crowley and Aziraphale for what is, to Furfur and the Nazis, supernatural and actual jiggery-pokery.

Three cowry shells and a lone caraway seed. A sleight of hand magic trick, used by writers to point out multiple layers of meaning and a request of the audience to engage with the story and find the seed beneath the layers. A sleight hand of magic trick, used by The Marvelous Mr. Fell thousands of years prior in his exploration of human magic. He fooled ancient Egyptian Queen Nefertiti with the trick. He masks the lone caraway seed successfully beneath a different cowry shell than the one the humans watching him think it is hidden beneath. He hides one meaning beneath another. He hides his self-deemed jiggery-pokery humanity beneath what Heaven suspects of him as an angel.

My Nefertiti-fooling fellow. What The Marvelous Mr. Fell's love, Bildad the Shuite, calls him to he remind him that his humanity is not jiggery-pokery. His magical man, who is also kind of terrible at the actual human magic part, but is so very good at the human magic part, and what could be more human than that?

Dummkopf. What Greta calls Harmony, after he successfully reads Aziraphale's magic words but she interprets them as nonsense words... despite them all seeing through the windows Aziraphale moving in such a way as to suggest he is performing a magic trick, suggesting a potential context for the words. None of these three have what the creative minds involved in Good Omens know their audience does have, which is the curiosity and love of story enough to look for context and meaning. 'Dummkopf': German for 'dumbass'.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow

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bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon · 6 months

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Center, Ground, Shield Exercises

Center

Within a quiet environment meditate reflecting only on yourself. There are layers to every individual that make them who they are.

The outside layers are the things involved in your life that just slightly affect you.

These are common entities registering as minor annoyances.

Mid-layers are the issues that are more important to your life.

These range from your at-work responsibilities, and to people you like and consider close.

The innermost layers are the extremely important things.

These range from family to meaningful relationships.

The location of everyone's core is near your breastbone. This is considered to be your center. Focus on this spot for a while to make yourself aware of what makes up you. Concentrate on who you are as a person. Steady your thoughts and try to find the innermost part of you. Dwell there and find a sense of balance. Try to do this to sync yourself to who you are.

Ground

The ground absorbs energy, and with this any excess positive or negative energy can safely be transmitted to such a location.

After you are centered you need to focus on all the energy within yourself that is NOT you.

The outer and middle layers that loosely define you as an individual need to be pushed away gently from you, and any ideas or concepts you have had in life (even expectations) also need to be brushed down into the ground. Let all of this go and continue to relax and focus entirely on yourself.

I know that sometimes it is hard to let go of things that you seem to worry about, but you need to clear your energies and mind. By doing this it is letting go of all your worries and negativity within your life, and again, putting the focus entirely on to you.

This step may need to be repeated several times, until you are able to let go, focus on yourself, and find the calm and relaxation one desires.

Shield

Shields are needed to protect you and your energies from outside influences. It protects you from psychic attacks and negative energies.

You will need to be centered and grounded to achieve a proper shield.

You will need to visualize an indestructible barrier around your aura. Only you decide what comes in, and what does not.

The best way to do this is to visualize layers of what can protect you. Make sure to draw in ambient (outside) energies around you more so than within you to create a barrier shield so it may properly protect you.

Over time it will start to dissipate so repeating this step is needed when necessary. It all depends on the types of influences you let surround you.

Advanced Shields: Part 4

You will need to understand the basics to centering, grounding, and shielding first in order to attempt and accomplish these methods listed below.

Some people create constructs binding the energy to a physical set of items making a system which fuels the barrier shield so it will last longer and function more properly.

There are other individuals that only meditate and use visualization to mend any energies out of place to keep their shields in a better working progress. This method alone, however, will over time exhaust their own energies, and it is advised that replenishing those energies is needed. They should learn how to use external sources to help replenish their own energies and use them to help create a better shield system overall.

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jgoddesstarot · 7 months

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Pick-A-Pile: Reflections of Self ~ What You Need To Work On This Season

👑Check out my masterlist to see all of my pick-a-card readings😊

✨ Visit my shops at Ko-fi.com or J.Goddess Tarot✨

🔮Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are based upon my intuitive interpretation of the cards and about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

🔮How I read: I use a mix of tarot cards, oracle cards, along with my intuitive abilities of claircognizance, clairaudience, and clairsentience.

🔮How this works: Close your eyes and take deep breaths, pick the pile you are most drawn to. If you aren’t drawn to any pile then that’s okay, these messages aren’t for you.

Pile 1

Tarot Cards: 3 of Swords, 10 of Cups, 9 of Wands, The Hierophant, 6 of Pentacle, 4 of Swords

Welcome, my Pile 1's. Let's delve deep into the cards and see what they have to say. The first card, the 3 of Swords, speaks about heartbreak and sorrow. It seems like you have recently experienced something painful in your life that may have left you feeling hurt. Remember, pain allows us to grow and transform, so use this experience to your advantage.

Next, we have the 10 of Cups, a card of emotional fulfilment, joy and happiness. This clarifies that the path ahead is brighter. It's a sign of harmony and alignment, suggesting that what you've gone through was necessary for your personal growth. So, my dear Pile 1's, embrace this transition phase with a smile, knowing that it'll lead to better things.

The 9 of Wands is a card of resilience. No matter the adversity, you, my Pile 1's, have the strength to overcome it. All the battles you've fought and the scars you bear, they all add up to the person you are now - strong, resilient, and not easily defeated.

The Hierophant, a card symbolizing tradition, conformity, and morality, is next. It suggests that you may need to adhere to certain rules or traditions for your betterment. There's wisdom in the old ways, my Pile 1's, and sometimes, respecting them can help you progress.

The 6 of Pentacles signifies generosity and sharing. It's about giving and receiving, hinting that you may need to balance these aspects in your life. Don't forget, life is a two-way street - the more you give, the more you receive.

Finally, the 4 of Swords represents rest and relaxation. Perhaps you've been working too hard, my Pile 1's. Remember to take some time off to rejuvenate and gather your strength for the battles ahead.

To conclude, my Pile 1's, your cards suggest a time of growth and transformation. You have the strength to overcome adversity, the grace to accept and balance both giving and receiving, and the wisdom to adhere to traditions if needed. Remember to rest and take care of your well-being. The universe is on your side, encouraging your journey towards self-improvement. Remember, you are stronger than you think, and every experience is a step forward in your journey. Keep going, my Pile 1's!

Pile 2

Tarot Cards: The Moon, 2 of Pentacles (in reverse), 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles

Let's delve into your reading, my Pile 2's. The first card we see is the Moon, a symbol of illusions, intuition, and the subconscious. This may suggest that you've been dealing with uncertainty, or possibly even deception. The Moon encourages you to trust your intuition and confront any fears or anxieties that may be lurking in the shadows of your subconscious.

Your second card is the 2 of Pentacles in reverse, indicating an imbalance in your life. This could be pointing towards an issue with work-life balance or perhaps decision-making. You might be juggling too many tasks and responsibilities, leading to stress and imbalance. It’s time to reassess your priorities and find equilibrium in your life.

Next, we have the 7 of Pentacles. This card represents hard work, perseverance, and patience. It seems you've been putting in a lot of effort into various aspects of your life, which is commendable. However, remember to pause, reflect on your progress, and ensure you're on the right path.

The fourth card, the 9 of Swords, is a sign of worry, guilt, and distress. It appears that you may be dealing with a lot of mental stress, perhaps overthinking or worrying excessively about situations. It’s crucial to remember that fear often magnifies problems, making them seem larger than they are. Practice mindfulness, seek support if needed, and trust in your ability to overcome.

Lastly, the 5 of Pentacles signifies hardship, insecurity, and worry about material resources. This card suggests you may have been facing some financial or emotional difficulties. However, it also serves as a reminder that help is available, and you don't have to face these hardships alone.

To conclude, my Pile 2's, your cards are calling for introspection, balance, and trust in yourself. Embrace the wisdom of the Moon, seek balance with the 2 of Pentacles, persevere like the 7 of Pentacles, tackle your worries like the 9 of Swords, and remember the lessons of the 5 of Pentacles. This season, work on accepting help when you need it, manage your resources wisely, and most importantly, trust in your inner strength. You are capable, resilient, and deserving of peace and abundance. Believe in your journey, my Pile 2's!

Pile 3

Tarot Cards: 7 of Wands (in reverse), Queen of Cups, The Empress, The Hermit, 5 of Wands

Hello my Pile 3's! We start our journey into self-reflection with the 7 of Wands in reverse. Seeing this card, I sense a feeling of exhaustion. You've been resisting, fighting, standing your ground, but the burden feels too heavy. This season, it's time to reassess. Are you fighting the right battles? Are some struggles better left alone? Remember, choosing your battles wisely does not mean you've lost; it means you value your energy and peace.

Next, we encounter the empathetic and intuitive Queen of Cups. She's a mirror, a reflection of your emotional self. She asks you to dive deep into your feelings - to cry, to laugh, to feel without judgment. This season, honor your feelings and trust your intuition. It's an essential part of who you are and your path to self-growth.

We find the Empress here, radiating creativity, fertility and loving abundance. She's a sign that it's time to nurture yourself, the way a mother would. My Pile 3's, are you taking care of yourselves? Are you feeding your soul, your creativity, your passions? This season, it's time to foster the seeds you've planted within.

Now, let's turn to the Hermit. A beacon of introspection and solitude, he's guiding you towards some alone time. This season, set aside the noise, the distractions, and focus on your inner world. Devote time to self-reflection and self-discovery. The answers you seek will come from within.

And finally, we have the 5 of Wands. This card signifies conflict and competition, a fitting echo to the reversed 7 of Wands. But this card also urges you to learn from these conflicts. What are they teaching you? Are they highlighting areas you need to work on or patterns you need to break?

In conclusion, my Pile 3's, your cards are calling on you to be more selective about the battles you engage in, to honor and trust your feelings, to nurture yourself, to spend time in introspection, and to learn from your conflicts. This season, show up for yourself. You may be surprised by how rewarding the journey of self-discovery can be when approached with kindness and patience. Remember, you possess within you a well of strength and wisdom. Trust the journey, my Pile 3's!

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miscfandomgifimagines · 1 year

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Random Lyle HCs

These are purely selfish sfw headcanons of my favorite blue boy. I’m not personally really familiar with the Avatar lore so I’m just going off my own imagination on some stuff. Also not sure how I want to go about my smut hc/fic for him so I’m stalling by writing this lol. I’m hoping to have some free time later this week to sit down and write some more, but I can’t make any promises. I’m really torn because all of my writing so far is done with my human oc as the base of my headcanons and I’m not sure if people would read my stuff if I used my oc and not reader inserts. Let me know if you have a preference one way or the other, maybe it’ll help me figure out what to do.

* Lyle is the type of person who would carry around a picture of someone close to him wherever he goes. The specific picture of you that he carries around? It’s a mirror selfie where you and Lyle are standing in front of the mirror flexing your biceps with a huge grin on both of your faces. Every time he looks at the picture he feels comforted. I don’t feel like the other recoms would make fun of pictures like this because everyone has someone special in their life that they would want by their side during rough moments.

* I feel like Lyle would be the type of person who wouldn’t mind reading, maybe not college textbooks or romance novels. But magazines about cars, fitness, guns, or anything similar? Loves them and reading them is one of his favorite low-energy hobbies.

* Lyle actually thinks most of Pandora’s wildlife is pretty cool. Back on Earth a lot of animals had died out so there really wasn’t anything aside from the occasional house pets. (*Not super familiar with the lore of Avatar’s Earth so idk if this is even accurate but just roll with it*) Obviously has a very healthy fear of most of the things crawling around in the jungle but every time he sees a cool lizard or even those monkeys he always stares for a bit. His favorite animal on Pandora? Ikran, his specifically. He thinks they are dope as hell and loves how vibrant the patterns are. Flying is just an added bonus.

* Still dedicated to his mission but finds his mind wandering about other possibilities such as what would happen if they fail again. He’s weirded out by being in an Avatar body the way it is now and the idea that all his memories are on a data stick in someone’s lab somewhere makes him uneasy. He doesn’t want to die but has the sinking feeling that the RDA would keep bringing everyone back as many times as it would take to finish business so to speak.

* Not one to believe in happy endings, especially after everything he’s been through but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a nice change. Your presence through the readjustment period was a godsend and he’s crossing his fingers that you’ll get to keep in touch even as the mission progresses. Sometimes in the morning, he’ll just stare at you in the kitchen while you make yourself breakfast almost like if he moved his eyes from your frame you would disappear. When you catch him staring you make fun of him a little bit. “I’m not going to share if you keep staring like that.” Or “Why don’t you make yourself useful and start washing some of the dishes if you’re just going to sit there ogling.”

* Doesn’t like sharing even with the other recoms, but he makes an exception for Z-Dog simply because she’s the only one he trusts not to break his stuff. Quaritch is usually a no too surprisingly unless it’s necessary for the mission or to maintain a decent relationship. Gets kind of possessive over his stuff just because he hates when people take his stuff and don’t put it back.

* Lyle likes to listen to music when he’s at home base during his downtime. Whether that’s just by himself in his room, out in the common quarters with the gang, or in the science loft with you while you play your own music. I feel like he’d be the type to like mainly rock music personally, but he doesn’t make too much of a fuss about what other people are playing as long as it’s disrupting the quiet. I could totally see him branching out to metal music when he’s in the gym cuz it hypes him up.

* He’s surprisingly decent at braiding his own hair but insists that you do it when he gets out of the shower. He’ll sit on the floor crisscrossed in front of the couch and nestles between your legs, enjoying the warmth that comes from your skin. Sometimes after a stressful day, you spend a little bit of time massaging the back of his neck and the area around his queue gently and he just about melts every time. Also loves it when you sing to him while you comb and braid his hair.

* Sometimes if he doesn’t want your bonding session to end he’ll purposely make it harder for you by moving or swiveling his head around (to your annoyance). “Seriously, sit still! You are such a toddler. You want your shit fixed or what?” You smack him on the side of his head and he lets out a snort. “I thought we agreed to no hitting outside of the bedroom?” You let out a huff and tug his queue a bit. “I never agreed to that, especially not with how annoying you can be.”

* Hates going up into the science loft since the ceilings are shorter than the main level and he smacks his head into the lights and stuff but does it anyway to spend time with you. He’s a pretty selfish person and prefers to have his time with you be just the two of you. He’ll sit on the floor next to your desk and make small talk with you while you work on your projects. When he thinks you’ve been sitting for too long he makes you get up and go down to the kitchen where he’ll make you a snack and have you do some stretching.

* After a long day of you at your desk he loves to go into your room and stretch out (as best he can) on your bed. You like to complain that he messes up your pillows but you really don’t mind it. Lyle likes to pull you onto the bed with him and squishes you against his chest. When it’s just the two of you he doesn’t bother holding back his purrs because he knows you like them, but in front of the group he does his best to quiet it. You’ll usually stay cuddled up together until it’s dinner time or someone calls for him.

* I also think Avatars have scent glands just like normal kitties so when he rubs up against your belongings like your bed or your clothes he’s literally marking you as yours. As a “scientist,” you already knew about this, but you were a bit surprised to catch Lyle marking up the stuff in your room. He was a bit embarrassed when you caught him the first time, but continues to do it to the annoyance of the other recoms.

* I feel like Lyle wouldn’t mind cooking because it’s a necessary life skill to have and he’s pretty good at it. Hunting on Pandora would be a breeze for him. The fresh meat coupled with the veggies growing from your aquaponics would make a damn good meal. I feel like there are also a lot of weird recipes he follows, kinda like what broke college kids/ prison inmates would do (Ramen noodle burritos anybody?). Loves being able to “provide” for you which sounds silly but is always happy to cook for you, especially when you’re busy doing other things.

* Keeps his belongings and room pretty tidy. He’s not one to leave his stuff lying out which makes rooming with him preferable to the others, as you tend to trip on their stuff when they drop it all over the shack. Lyle catches wind of your annoyance and starts shoving stuff into the recom’s rooms so you have a clean living space to walk through.

* Likes helping you out in the gardens, whether it’s the native Pandoran patch outside the shack or the Earth one inside the outbuilding. You and your friend grow a variety of food found on Earth since you were still learning how to adapt to the foods on this planet. You head out each afternoon to check the crops and scribble notes down about the progress and Lyle likes to sneak strawberries when he thinks you aren’t looking.

* Lyle likes to make himself useful however he can whether that’s doing the heavy lifting, reaching for high objects, or fixing stuff around the shack. Does chores without being told to which was a pleasant surprise when you caught him outside fixing the rainwater basin. Loves helping out even more when you reward him with kisses and praise afterward even if he gets teased for kissing ass from the others.

* Hates when he has to leave for extended periods of time as he’s always worried about your safety out in the wilds. He knows he can’t get out of it so he does what he can to prepare you. “Okay so don’t go outside after dark, if you have to you both leave. One of you needs a gun and keep your-“ “Head on a swivel for any hostiles.” You give a small smile and grab his hand. “I know you’re worried, but we’re gonna be okay. You on the other hand need to promise me you’re going to come back. In one piece.” He squeezes your small hand and does his best to look sincere. “I’m always going to come back to you, no matter what happens.”

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imaginarycyberpunk2023 · 6 months

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Tag appreciation 6/?

I am having a bad time in real life so I decided to remind myself of the awesomeness of the tumblr CP VP community and make another one of these, which is long overdue.

In this series I shine a light back on the community and all the fun, love and sass going on in my notes.

@braindancer you show up in my activity feed a lot and always have something nice to say; I love your tags! This -> I have no idea what you're referencing here, I wanna know what you imagine Vinnie to dress up as! So if you can shoot me a message!

@peaches-n-screem omg yes, this is exactly what I was going for! Vinnie can be messy but he is efficient. Not every fixer appreciates this but Muy tries!!! Because! That's his BOY!

@chevvy-yates you know I sometimes run over to Discord to thank you for your always well-thought out tags and I just wanna emphasize here that it is not NECESSARY to leave a lot of or any tags on any post but I APPRECIATE it so much -> and I love silly tags as well, YES SHE WILL BONK YOU

@punkraeman first of all, congrats on the new sideblog. Second of all, I agree 100% because this is such a DAD cap and not in a sexy way and I was like HOW THE HELL DOES HE MAKE THIS WORK? I am never sure at this point if it's just the amazing progress of my brainrot or if he is *actually* that sexy and I love affirmative sexy tags!

@drunkchasind Whenever I shoot in this orange light I think of your gorgeous VP so I kinda figured you'd like it - it is heavily inspired by your work as well!

@wraithsoutlaws I've said it before and I will probably say it again - the natural thing is what I am (usually) going for in my VP. I do like stylized, conceptualized VP as well, but my fav thing to do is making them come to life in a very naturalistic way, finding moments in between movements that make sense. In this set especially I loved the progression of their movement together and how flustered Vinnie is in the first pic which is a rare sight.

@tafferling you apparently got the vibe I was going for with this. I tend to photograph Vinnie smiley and sexy and enticing but he can be an intimidating and dangerous presence. Just imagine this dude coming at you, very calmly, standing at 6"6 and tellling you to calm down. And you don't see any weapons (yet).

@humberg I am so glad you're back and I love when I get tagged like this! EXCUSE YOU! hahahaha - another example of the tags on this post that were all so supportive of the edits -> I usually barely edit my pics because I never know, what to edit. I've talked to other VPers about this and we did edit exchanges at some points and it's interesting to see how others handle my material. I still gotta post some I got from @dustymagpie that turned out amazing and completely different from what I usually do!

@juststayquiete I LOVE YOU FOR SCREAMING IN MY TAGS!!! and yes, I dare say myself that this was a really cool idea! And imaginary (her name will change) already might have met Macha and Vinnie. And old space movie vibes is what I was going for. I love the mechanical space ships (think "Aliens") -> I prefer them over the Space X clean look any day!

That's it for today.

I will continue this series because it makes me see how much good happens in this space! And I love my community that I have gathered here!

Saying hi to my newest followers - welcome to the brainrot:

@setaphil-edits

@cyberpsychotic-purgatory

@cyberholic77

@aaaleksandrovna

@ratsstick (ratsstick)

@water-dhavians (water-dhavians)

@sixty---six (sixty---six)

@leavrettes

@bogo-posts

I have no idea why tumblr won't let me @ some of these blogs although they exist so adding their links and praying tumblr won't remove them because that is an annoying bug I have -> tumblr removing text links from my posts.

#cyberpunk 2077 #communitiy appreciation #tag appreciation #personal

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sparrowsgarden · 7 months

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"i would do this project if i knew how to x" you don't need anyone's permission to learn a skill.

like i don't know how to say this to some people but you will need to learn new things, regularly, for your whole life. there is not some age at which you just know how to do shit, so one of the best things you can do is to get comfortable with the process of learning. knowledge is not going to magically descend upon you and also, hopefully, you are not going to subsist forever on what you happened to learn as a kid. so you'll need to learn the meta-skill of learning.

like 90% of my work is "nobody else has done this in a way that i like so i guess i'm going to", and that basically always means learning new skills! i learned plenty of things from school, but most of the stuff that i actually use regularly is self-taught to some degree.

let's make this actionable. here are some tips you can use if you want to learn art, or coding, or how to use a software, etc etc.

1. find somebody who knows how to do the thing and ask them how they learned/if they have useful resources.

there are some things which you have to actually go take a class for, but most things i see people vaguely wishing they could do are not those. however, it is worth asking someone who knows what they're doing which resources are actually helpful for beginners. the pros to asking self-taught people are they also had to learn from whatever stuff they could scrape together. the cons are they're more likely to have very weird ideas of how to do things. either should be fine for pointing you to stuff, though.

you can ask for tips too, that's always fine. but what you really want is to know which sources to trust when you need to look up how to do like a million specific little things.

also, if you're looking for beginner-level art stuff that is not for kids, it'll be to your advantage to find someone who has at the least gone through instruction targeted toward that level (such as, someone who's been in a college-level intro course that isn't specific to art students). it is super easy to get overwhelmed with art stuff if you aren't fairly careful and targeted about what you work on at first, especially if you're truly starting from scratch.

2. being confused is ok.

absolutely nobody opens up a program for the first time, without having done anything similar before, and understands how to use it. being confused when you start something new is not indicative of an inability to learn, it is a necessary step of the process. occasionally it also means that whoever designed the software did a bad job. either way, consider this part of the learning meta-skill.

3. fuck around. troubleshoot.

if the skill of troubleshooting problems is not one you're already good at, then you're getting a meta-skill two for one. don't be afraid to ask people for help if you get really stuck, but most of this is looking shit up. having that list of trusted resources to start your search will be a huge help.

4. don't do everything at once.

start simple and work your way up with mini-projects, no matter what you're doing. this is the advantage of having access to instruction, it's paced out to force you to practice regularly before moving on. depending on the size of the project you have in mind you can disregard this if it keeps you more motivated to see immediate progress, but beware!

5. resist the urge to redo.

at some point you will, presumably, get to actually doing that thing you want to do. when you get the urge to scrap everything and start over because you're not happy with your original approach, stick with it for just a bit longer. honestly, sometimes starting over is the right answer, but it's usually worth some extra consideration. if new stuff doesn't build on old stuff, you're probably better off moving on forward rather than getting trapped in the cycle of endless redos. if it does, at least really take the time to consider whether a redo would be helpful.

i would also say something like "make it a habit" but i have the type of intractible adhd where that's damn near impossible so like. do your best. anything that's worth doing is worth your persistence!

#what do i even tag this as #art ref #i am literally always free for the questioning. teaching people is my Thing #if i don't respond in 5-7 business days do feel free to try again

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lovesosweeet · 5 months

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty three

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapter

october 12, 2018 los angeles, califonia calum

“What’s been the biggest shift in making this record versus the previous one?” Yet another interviewer asks us the same question it feels like we’ve answered a million times.

“Y’know, we’ve all grown a lot in our personal lives over the past few years,” Ashton says, and Michael and Luke nod along.

“For sure, I mean,” Michael pauses to laugh. “We’ve all fallen in love, some of these guys have gone through some heartbreak, but overall, we’re just a lot more grown up.”

Some heartbreak. Minimizing what I’m going through right now to those two words is almost a lie because of how inaccurate it is. Orion is worth far more than two words, and I know that everyone in this room would agree given the chance. \

“I’d say everything is almost the same, actually,” Ashton adds on. “Like we said, we’ve grown a lot, but our writing and recording is a similar process.”

“But, y’know, we’ve added a lot of fresh elements to this record, like with the keyboard. We’ve tried to take on a hint of an electronic sound, too,” Luke says.

“Yeah, so we haven’t actually changed anything, but just with the way life works and how we naturally progress as artists, the final product is so different, but the process isn’t.” Ashton finally wraps up the answer, and the interviewer seems quite happy with it.

“It’s nice to watch how both you and your music evolve over the years. You guys have been together for seven years now, and some of you have been friends for far longer. Do you find that your constant growth impacts your relationships with each other? Are you ever outgrowing one another and having to play catch up? How’s that dynamic?”

My mouth chooses to speak before I do. “Well, Johnny,” I say. I have no idea how I managed to remember that this man’s name is Johnny, but judging by his unphased expression, I think I got it right. “We outgrow each other when certain people withhold certain vital information from other people and let things blow up in their faces when they could’ve prevented it.”

Luke laughs loudly and awkwardly at my comment, nervously looking at each of our faces. “Calum’s such a jokester, aren’t you Cal?” He asks, smacking my back harder than necessary.

I plaster on a fake smile, sucking it up and correcting the course. “Yeah, I’m just joking. These guys never fail to be there for me. Our relationships are always strong, honestly often strengthened by the ways we evolve away from each other sometimes.”

When Ashton starts talking next, it takes a lot of self-control not to lunge at him.

“Yeah, there’s nothing that could come between us. These are my brothers, you know?”

I don’t have to look at him to know he’s looking at me.

My smile, still fake, widens. “Oh yeah, nothing could ever break these bonds.”

After the interview ends, I don’t bother thanking the host or crew. I take off my headset and set it on the table before walking quickly outside of the studio, pulling my pack of cigarettes and lighter from my back pocket. It feels like such bullshit to have to sit there and act like I’m happy.

“Cal, I know you guys are having issues,” Matt says, following me outside. He looks annoyed, as usual. “But you have to reign it in.”

I puff out smoke and laugh bitterly. “We’re more than ‘having issues’, Matt.”

Matt takes a few steps towards me so that his face is right by mine. “I’m canceling shows for you. I’m canceling interviews so you don’t have to plaster on a fake smile more than necessary. Fuck, I picked up your drunk ex-girlfriend at the beach for you. You’re pissed at Ash. I get it. But you have to get your shit together. This is your job. This is something you chose. Grow the hell up and be civil for the twenty fucking minutes you spend on air with him.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s also the hours on stage and rehearsing, riding in the tour bus. It’s not just twenty minutes at a time.”

Matt rips my cigarette out of my hand. “Hood, I really don’t care. Keep your personal life out of your professional one if you’re not able to be a mature adult when your feelings get hurt.”

“Excuse me, who the fuck are you, again? Oh, right, a man that I pay.”

“You know damn well you’re not going to fire me and find another manager that will take care of you guys the way I do.”

I hold back then, because he’s right. Matt is an exceptional manager and he’s been with us for years. I can’t imagine where we’d be without him. “Fine. I just won’t talk in any interviews and I won’t talk onstage. I can’t promise I won’t repeat the shit I just said, so it’s best if I just don’t talk.”

Matt sighs, and then he surprises me by hugging me. “That’s fine. You don’t talk much anyway.”

Reluctantly, I hug him back. The words that just came from both of us wouldn’t have ever suggested we’d be hugging now, but here we are.

“If I haven’t said it, Cal, I’m sorry. She was incredible, and I can’t imagine how you feel right now. None of us saw that coming.”

I appreciate that Matt isn’t saying anything negative about Orion. Everyone who knows her knows better than to badmouth her. She’s doing shitty things, but she’s not a shitty person. She’s still the best person I know, despite how much she’s hurting me. I’m still in shock most days.

I go to text her when I first wake up each morning, and then am painfully reminded that I can’t. I can’t even see what she’s doing because she removed me as a follower on Instagram. It takes a lot of self control not to text her throughout the day, awake and sober, just missing her badly. I hope she’s doing okay. I know I’m not.

—

Performing in LA should be fun. Our friends and our friends who’ve become family all get to come. It’s our home field, basically. Backstage before the show, everyone was too happy.

They all took shots together, playing games of beer pong and just catching up after we’ve been away for a while. It makes me sick to my stomach, so I spend most of the time before the show outside with some of the crew, just smoking. Our crew knows me well enough to just leave me alone, smoking silently next to me for a while.

“There you are!” Roy’s voice suddenly sounds.

I smile at him. It’s a real smile. It’s nice to see him. “Hey, man.”

Roy grins, walking over and sitting next to me on the ground. “Just wanted to check in with you, see how you’re handling things.”

My bitter laugh, a sound I seem to be making a lot these days, falls from my mouth with a trail of smoke. “Like shit.”

He nods and stares at his hands. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but if I know anything about Orion, she’s gonna come around.”

I want to believe him, but I don’t know if I do. She was so determined to end things. It hurt to watch how badly it was hurting her to push me away. She needed to end things, for whatever reason she had for doing it. ‘Sparing’ me.

“Guess we’ll see in time.”

Roy sighs from beside me. “Your guys’ love was—is—so real, Cal. You can’t just shut that off.”

“She did it because she loves me. It’s fucked, but that’s why.”

The next thing I know, Roy’s practically giggling. It doesn’t make me laugh, but it does make me smile. His laugh makes me happier, somehow.

“Sorry, it’s not funny. That’s just, like, the most Orion thing I’ve ever heard.”

I smile, tears flooding my eyes. “Yeah, it really is.”

Roy and I hang out until Matt tells everyone it’s time to head to the stage. He gives me a hug and says he’s going to watch from VIP with the rest of our friends, and I join the rest of the band for our pre-show shots.

“5SOS on five?” Luke asks, handing each of us a shot glass.

“5SOS on five,” Mike confirms.

We count to five, yell ‘5SOS,’ hit our shots against each other’s, and then we gulp the burning tequila down. Everyone else has a chaser, but not me. I grab the tequila bottle and pour myself another, and another, and another.

After I’ve had four shots of tequila, I grab a beer from the fridge and my mic pack from its spot where it’s charging. The rest of the band doesn’t say anything but follows suit, and then we’re walking to the side of the stage.

“Let’s get this shit over with,” I mutter.

Luke throws a hand onto my shoulder and squeezes.

“If you need a break, just take it, okay?”

I nod and fight the tears that threaten to form. It’s our first show after the breakup, and I know I’ll be a mess if I think about it too much. Some songs are written for Orion, so those will hurt, but so will the ones written about breakups and heartbreak, which our fans joke is all we write about.

Ashton nods to us before he walks out to take his seat behind the drums. He bangs a brief rhythm, and then Mike walks out, his guitar slung over his neck. He waves to the crowd with a huge smile.

I put one foot in front of the other to make it to my spot, grabbing my bass from its stand. I walk up to my mic and nod at the crowd. The deafening screams have just been background noise this whole time, but now they’re accompanied by glaring stage lights.

When Luke walks out, the crowd goes crazier. He smiles as wide as Mike did, waving with both hands before he takes his spot, center stage.

On Ashton’s cue, we all start, and I curse the fact that our opener is a song that I have lead vocals on. I try to lose myself in the music, strumming the chords I’ve played a thousand times before, singing the words to the music I helped write but now feel like a foreign language as they blare through the speakers and the crowd sings along.

I’m able to operate on autopilot until we get to the brief section of our set that has a slower pace. Luke talks, and I drink a few long gulps from my can of beer. Once it’s empty, I hold the can up to a crew member, motioning that I’d like another.

“LA, we’re about to slow things down for a bit, but first I just want to introduce you to my brothers up here with me, in case this is your first 5SOS show.

“To my right, we’ve got the ever so talented Michael Clifford, the first one to join me in this lame ass band. To my left, we’ve got the stoic, beautiful bassist, and my best friend, Calum Hood. Behind me, our very sweaty drummer, Ashton Irwin!” The crowd roars with each introduction, and I just focus on the beer that a crew member trades out for my empty can. I crack it open and drink from it while I can.

“And we can’t forget, Luke Hemmings. Voice of an angel, our frontman, and the reason we’re a band in the first place!” Ashton takes over for him, and I don’t bother even trying to look at him. “Los Angeles, we hope you like this next one. This is Ghost of You.”

Michael starts playing before I can even get my bearings, and the words Luke sings cut deep as the whole entire room sings along.

If I can dream long enough,

You’d tell me I’d be just fine

I’ll be just fine

Every time I close my eyes, I have flashbacks of Orion. Smiling, laughing, running down a beach or telling me a joke on a walk somewhere in Europe. Happy, blissful, pure. My girl, before she fell apart, before her fucked up fate blew up her life and her dreams.

And I chase it down

With a shot of truth

The words ring too true to the shots I just took to drown out everything I’m feeling. I feel the tears falling fast down my face as I try to harmonize, but I give up and take a few steps back from my mic. Luke looks at me, holding his mic while he sings. He looks worried, so I have to look away from him.

I’m supposed to sing the second verse, but I know I can’t. As if they planned it, Michael sings it for me when he notices the look on my face.

Cleaning up today Found that old Zeppelin shirt You wore when you ran away And no one could feel your hurt

The fans go wild at Michael singing my verse. I can barely keep playing the few notes that I need to for this slow song, and thank god that they had a system in place for me inevitably being unable to sing my own verses.

All I can think about is Orion. She pushed everyone away. She pushed all of us away. She ran away from our home and is living in San Diego now. It hurt so badly to walk into our apartment last night when we got to LA to find it barren of her things. She’s gone.

The rest of the song is a blur, and I just play the bass off to the side of the stage, not even looking at the crowd. I just look at Luke and Michael and am grateful for them more than ever in this moment. I’m lucky to have bandmates like them who double as best friends.

When the song ends, Michael walks up to me with Luke in tow while the fans cheer.

“You good, Cal? We can take 5 if you need,” Mike says, reaching a hand out to rest on my arm.

I shake my head, even though I know the next song will be equally as painful, if not more so. “No. Let’s just get this over with.”

They both look at me with immense pity. I hate it. I walk back to my mic stand, determined to at least sing the first verse. We start Amnesia and I close my eyes, hoping that tears don’t fall while I sing.

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted I thought about our last kiss How it felt, the way you tasted And even though your frie—

I have to cut myself off as my voice cracks and I step back from the mic, letting Luke finish it off for me.

You’re doing fine Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you? When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you? Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

I step back up to my mic, needing to scream the last words of the prechorus.

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

I full on sob for the rest of the song, each of the lyrics hitting way too close to home. I don’t sing into the mic, but I sing to myself while I play and watch Luke and Michael sing the words to the crowd. For the most part, I face the back of the stage, toward Ashton, but ignore his very concerned glances toward me.

And the dreams you left behind, you didn’t need them Like every single wish we ever made I wish that I could wake up with amnesia And forget about the stupid little things Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you And the memories I never can escape ‘Cause I’m not fine at all

—

@5SOSUpdates: Cal barely sang tonight at the LA show. Luke & Mike picked up most of his solos and he cried during GOY and Amnesia </3

@5SOSFan4Ever: my heart broke piece by piece watching cal struggle to get through tonight’s show :( my poor bb

@CalumGirl: imagine having your worst heartbreak be on public display. sending so much love to you @calum5sos

@LetThemEatCake5SOS: does anyone know what actually happened betw cal and orion? they both don’t seem to be doing well and i loved them together.

@5SOSFan4Ever: Replying to @LetThemEatCake5SOS: yeah their friends are all still interacting. something seems wrong. makes me sad :’(

@CalumGirl: Replying to @LetThemEatCake5SOS: someone said orion has terminal cancer and that’s why they broke up. idk how true that is but if it’s true i am simply devastated

@OrilumStan: my babies broke up and both are struggling it is ROUGH out here just look how sad he was onstage. Image attached

@CashtonLover: Replying to @OrilumStan: has anyone seen/heard anything from orion? i know she’s always been private but i’m so nosy @OrilumStan: Replying to @CashtonLover: no, a few of her friends have posted stuff to their stories about respecting privacy tho. and like i get it but I WANNA KNOW