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writing-house-of-m · 1 year

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Bend & Snap

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack

Warnings: A few sexually suggestive scenes, nothing graphic

Word count: 3,065

Summary: Your date night with Wanda gets interrupted in the strangest way

A/N: This was a collaborative effort between @speciallysapphic , @therunawaykind and myself for a challenge set by @vancityfire13 . I thought it was fun and wanted to share. I hope you all enjoy reading 🙂

It had been a while since you and Wanda got a chance to spend some time together. So you agreed to a quiet date night in.

Sitting in front of the TV you were nearing the end of the movie you had picked out, dirty dishes placed on the small coffee table in front of the two of you as you snuggled on the sofa. It was your turn to choose a movie this time.

You both agreed that you would take turns choosing the movies you would watch on nights like this. Wanda always opted for classic movies you hadn't seen, while you picked 'iconic' movies Wanda would have missed because of her time through the war.

The night started with taking advantage of the empty compound, spending time cooking your dinner. Music filled the air as you danced around the kitchen together between cutting up vegetables and following Wanda's instructions.

You went along as best you could but not wanting to ruin your meal, you opted to follow her around like a puppy, completing little tasks you could see needed doing.

Throughout the movie Wanda tried to keep making moves to go further than cuddling. You stopped her wandering hands each time telling her to 'watch this part, it's funny' or ‘it’s coming to a good bit'.

She always found it endearing how you wanted to share the joy of watching movies together. It was one of the things she loved about you.

Now that the credits were about to roll Wanda seized the opportunity to pounce on you. She straddled your hips and began to desperately kiss you.

When air was needed she rested her forehead against yours, inhaling then letting out a breath, "I thought the movie was never going to end."

You furrow your eyebrows as you pull your head back to ask, "You didn't like it?"

Looking at your expression she can't help but find your pout cute, "I did like it, it was funny and definitely iconic," she answers.

Your face brightens but she continues as her hands move from around your neck down your body, "I just had something else on my mind," she says, biting her bottom lip and placing her hands under your shirt.

With your lips attached again, you waste no time in lifting her slightly to lay her on her back on the sofa and get comfortable on top of her.

Before you can even think about removing her shirt you hear the loud, excited voices of a few people approaching the seating area you were in.

You recognise the voices belonging to Steve and Thor. Even though you don’t hear them you know Scott and Vision will also be present because they were assigned on the same mission.

Feeling annoyed is an understatement because you really didn't think anyone would be back today. Before you get caught like a couple of school kids, the two of you sit up, fix your hair and clothes so you are presentable for your oncoming intruders.

As they enter the vicinity Scott notices the clutter of dishes and the movie credits rolling. The other men and the android turn their attention to you too once they are made aware of your presence when he asks, “You guys had a party without us?” His face, slightly sad.

But the question adds to your annoyance because intruding was one thing but him not realising he had walked in on your date was another. “Yeah, Scott. We had a party. Just the two of us.” You smile sarcastically at the man putting his helmet down on one of the empty sofas.

When he realises your tone he squints his eyes at you, “You know, it’s not your words that hurt, it’s the way you say them,” he says as if he is wounded. You roll your eyes and sit more comfortably, wrapping an arm around your girlfriend.

The ‘wounded’ man, getting over it quickly, asks, "What were you watching?"

Wanda leans into your embrace, "Legally Blonde," she replies for you, to avoid any cynical answers.

Scott's face lights up, "Oh, I love that movie. You really couldn't have waited for us to come back?"

You roll your eyes again and are about to say something but Steve is quicker, “Yeah, a relaxing movie would be nice after the 48 hours we just had," he states, joining the conversation.

Thor gets everyone's heads turning toward him as he walks closer to where the five of you are, beer in hand, “It was a long 48 hours indeed, but we were victorious in the end,” he smiles, proudly.

It’s silent for a moment before Scott speaks again, disregarding Thor’s comment and moving his gaze to Steve, "There's nothing relaxing about Elle Woods trying to get into Harvard, defying stereotypes, getting the man of her dreams back. On top of that she deals with sexism and her self-worth."

Thor, still with a bright smile on his face, says, "Ah yes, there is nothing more important than a woman getting the education she deserves."

To which Steve chuckles along with Wanda. You notice Vision standing on the side, looking like he is trying to compute the plot of the movie.

Scott, once again disregards Thor’s comment and continues, "It has so many iconic moments; 'What? Like it's hard?',” he quotes putting his hand on his hip as he pops it out for emphasis. "And using her hair care knowledge to her advantage! Who knew the girl would get caught because she got her hair done!"

Wanda giggles at the ant man’s enthusiasm while you sit there impassively watching him, still feeling a little irritated. You can’t help but wonder if you can sneak the two of you out while Scott has the attention of the room.

Your plan is foiled when Natasha, Sam, Bucky and Tony enter, the attention moving to them momentarily as they walk closer.

It really is a party now.

Nat raises an eyebrow assessing the crowd in the area, she smirks when she sees your displeased expression. You had already spoken to her about the fact you were finally going to get some alone time with Wanda - it was clear your time was cut short.

Everyone moves their heads in the direction of Scott as he gasps loudly, "The 'Bend and Snap'!” He exclaims, “How could I forget about the 'Bend and Snap'?!"

Steve, Thor, Vision and Bucky look at him confused, as Nat looks in your direction, “Legally Blonde?” She asks so you nod your head with Wanda nodding along, thinking the question was for her.

The new patrons to the room take seats in various places, when Vision questions, “The Bend and Snap?" You hear Sam laugh at the serious demeanour Vision has.

Nat stands with her arms crossed and everyone else listens from their seats as Scott explains, it's how Elle Woods gets a man's attention. Taking a couple of steps away from the couch he shows them how it's done.

Taking out a small disc from his pocket, he cautions everyone that it is safe. But from the look on the faces no one was worried to begin with.

The group have always been in agreement that Scott was the least worrying hero, the only reason he is on the team is because enemies don’t see him as much of a threat and that gives him the advantage to blindside them.

He’s about to start explaining when you all hear a commotion coming from the direction of the hanger. A moment later you all see the members of the Guardians of the Galaxy enter.

You let out an annoyed sigh watching them stampede their way to you greeting their comrades.

The red headed spy laughs at your exasperation, you can't help but wonder why everyone has chosen today of all days to show up.

When Peter asks what’s going on, he’s shushed and told to take a seat as they all sit and stand around joining the teaching moment.

When everyone is settled down, Scott continues, “First you need an item, it can be anything at all. You drop it,” he shows the item in his hand and drops it exaggeratedly, “Oh,” he giggles putting a hand to his mouth, his voice an octave higher, “Oops,” he smiles shyly, keeping up the act.

Returning to his normal voice, “Then you bend and reach for the item, like so,” he hinges forward at the waist, simultaneously sliding his hand down his leg, explaining the movement draws attention to the length of your legs.

“The whole point is to take your time, to keep the watcher on edge,” he wiggles his eyebrows and says this is the ‘bend’ portion of the manoeuvre.

“Once you have the item in hand, you quickly,” as he grabs the metallic disc he springs up positioning either hand to the sides of his chest, framing it while arching his back. Explaining this is the ‘snap’.

There is a round of applause mixed with some laughs as Scott bows to his audience.

Thor’s mouth hangs open slightly, intrigued and can't help asking, "So… if I do this it will get the attention of a woman."

Sam and Tony laugh together, “It will definitely get some attention!” Sam exclaims.

You join in with Wanda’s laughter, unable to get over how ridiculous this all has gotten.

Thor and Peter step forward to Scott with a few questions, wanting to go through the actions with him.

“I’ll need a volunteer to show you one more time,” he looks around and sees Captain America looking hesitant to ask so he does it for him. "What about you Cap? You wanna give it a shot?"

Steve glances over to the seats and sees Bucky looking over. He smiles and blushes but says he'll try, purposely moving to angle himself right so that the Winter Soldier will get a clear view of America's ass as he 'bends'.

Scott goes through the moves step by step using the American icon as a test dummy with Bucky’s eyes never leaving his figure. When he bends forward, Scott places a hand on Steve's back to get him to bend over a little more, much to Bucky’s satisfaction.

Steve’s movements are stiff but he manages to get through it getting a pat on the back from Thor as he tries to make eye contact with Bucky when he’s standing straight again.

Everyone else is too busy conversing or watching Thor’s attempts on the side to see the hungry eyes of the Winter Soldier, making you want to throw up. All those times Bucky has called Steve ‘Captain’ coming to the forefront of your mind.

You choke on nothing when Bucky signals toward the elevator as he stands to leave, while everyone is distracted Steve follows his path.

Wanda makes sure you are okay by rubbing your back. When your coughing stops, “It’s so nice seeing everyone together, it would be better if the rest were here too,” she says, which you can't help but smile at.

These people have become her family, it was one of the first things she confided in you. As if by magic Wanda gets her wish when you feel a gush of wind fly past you. Pietro stops next to Nat and shouts across the room adding to the chaos and noise, “I told you, even with a five minute head start I’d still win!”

You turn your head, you see, Yelena, Kate, Kamala, Peter (Parker) and America enter with Bruce trailing in just after them.

Thor’s boisterous laugh has you looking at the original group that ruined your night. Scott congratulates him for getting it correct and complimenting his arms being bigger than Steve’s. Thor is beaming, "I can't wait to try this on Jane, she will be so impressed."

Vision steps past Peter (Quill), who is showing Gamora the move, speaking quietly to Scott while looking sheepish. You swear you see him blush when he makes eye contact with Pietro, not realising the action was possible for the literal machine. He stutters his question asking Scott if he could help him next.

Nat told you he had a thing for Wanda’s twin but you didn't believe it. It really was a ‘you have to see it to believe it’ kind of thing.

Vision thinks he is quiet but everyone hears the final words come out of his mouth, “I just don’t think it’s appropriate in front of my daddies.”

A sheet of quiet takes over the room that feels like it lasts forever, jaws hanging open trying to fathom what they have just heard. Sam laughs first with the rest soon following.

They realise what Vision meant so fingers are pointed at Tony, Bruce and Thor with howling laughter taking over the room.

While Tony and Bruce want to sink into the floor Thor smiles not really understanding the joke. With Vision in the same boat he looks around not really caring and looking back to Scott with quizzical eyes.

You hear Mantis whisper beside you, “How many daddies does he have?” Making you feel bile creep up your throat again.

Before Scott can answer the android, Pietro cuts in and tells him he would show him himself but in a private setting, flirtatiously.

First you had to witness Bucky and Steve’s bedroom eyes. Now this, the world really was against you today.

Nat smiles as she sees her wife walk in and make her way to her. They greet each other with a kiss and she catches Maria up with what has been going on. She scoffs at the absurdity of it all and confirms they will have dinner in a few hours.

Their attention gets turned to Sam who asks if Nat will be a judge on who can do the ‘Bend and Snap’ the best. Scott takes offence saying he was right there, wanting to be the one to do the judging.

Wanda realises you have been quiet for a bit too long, “Hey, should we continue our date in our room?” She says lowly to you.

“You don’t want to stick around a little longer while everyone is here?” You reply with your own question.

“I think this whole thing has been enough for a little while,” she laughs, making you smile.

She takes your hand as she leads you away, the loud noise of the contest being sorted getting quieter the further you walk away.

You get in the elevator and are making your way up when it comes to an abrupt stop as the building shakes.

There’s a loud sound from something followed by the alarms going off.

The muffled sounds of Scott trying to defend himself, “I thought it was a shrinking disc!” Make their way through the walls of your location.

Sighing, you ask Friday what happened, “It looks like a sofa has been supersized and crashed through several walls.”

“So, how long are we stuck here?” Wanda asks for you. The only reply you get from the automated voice is that help will be on its way as soon as possible. Wanda doesn't want to risk using her powers in case something comes crashing down on the two of you.

It doesn't take long for you to get freed. You make your way back to the seating area due to the fact the oversized sofa is partly in your room.

You can’t believe your eyes. In the fifteen minutes you spent trapped in the elevator they have managed to set up a makeshift catwalk complete with a judging table, scoring cards and everyone has an assigned number stuck to their backs.

Noticing Steve and Bucky, you realise the early leavers from before have returned to take part in this little competition too.

When you make it to Nat and Scott at the judging section they explain one of his discs hit the sofa as they were trying to move it out of the way. “We still need one more judge, unless you want to compete,” Natasha quips.

You’re about to reply saying there was no way you were going to entertain the idea of you doing the ‘bend and snap’ but Wanda answers first, “I wouldn’t mind walking down a runway for you to judge me,” she smiles at you, biting her lip.

You smirk at her, “I think I already know the score I’m going to give you,” you give her a peck on the cheek. “You still have to work for it though, I can’t have anyone thinking I have a favorite,” you lower your voice to a whisper just for her to hear.

The competition starts when Nat announces contestant number one can begin and of course it is a loud fiasco.

With music blaring, it goes exactly how you would have expected something like this to go.

America and Kamala fall over their own feet in their collaborative effort, the two Peters decide to team up (two Peters are better than one they said) and have a wardrobe malfunction when webs attach themselves to Starlords pants pulling them down, Kate pushing Yelena forward to not do anything at the end of the runway but give her sister the middle finger when she catches her sister laughing at her.

Tony even managed to get Pepper to walk down with him as she awkwardly stood to the side while he picked up his glasses from the ground. Shaking his butt in her direction just to see her blush.

Drax, thinking it was a talent show, moves as slow as possible showing he can be invisible.

What’s even crazier is that Vision completing the action snaps the wrong thing because he short circuits and gets stuck. Pietro has to take him to Tony’s lab with Tony following behind him to get the android fixed.

When Wanda inevitably wins everyone has something to say about it. “An infinite amount of points isn’t fair!” You hear a variation of this same statement from a few contestants and you only have one reply, “Maybe you should find your own judge to sleep with,” you laugh heartily at your own joke.

Even though the night didn’t go as you hoped, you still had a pretty good time.

You are especially happy with the way Wanda was smiling and enjoying herself.

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fluff #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #pietro maximoff x vision #pietro x vision #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #avengers x you #mcu reader insert #self insert fanfiction #crack!fic #marvel crack!fic #fic #bend and snap tag

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metalbuckaroo · 1 year

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Note// I’m a little more prepared for kinkmas than I was kinktober, though, I’m not going to put all days bc as of rn I have no clue what is going to be posted on what day. All fics will have their own warnings, all will be filth

18+ PLUS ONLY, MINORS DNI

-> Day One: Corruption - Neighbor!Bucky

-> Day Two: Spit Kink - Rockstar!Bucky

-> Day Three: Sex Tape - Stripper!Bucky

-> Day Four: Blood Kink - Vampire!Bucky

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes smut #biker!bucky #biker!bucky x reader #biker!au #biker!bucky smut #roommate!bucky smut #biker au #bucky barnes self insert #roommate!bucky #bucky angst

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grace-writes-shit · 10 months

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I Found You (Bucky Barnes X Rogers!Reader)

Words: 4.1k

Warnings/Themes: Angst! Character death, abduction, torture, human experimentation, allusions to PTSD, depression, thoughts of wanting to be unalived

Characters/Pairings: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader, Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter (Mentioned), Howling Commandos (Mentioned)

misspygmypie asked:

Hello 🥰 I saw your request post and figured I'd send something in. I've had this idea for years, and it would be fun to read it!

You know when Steve finds and rescues Bucky at Hydra in the first movie? What if it's reader who they're rescuing and Hydra did some experiments on. Maybe she's Steves sister and they wanted to get to him through her and obviously Bucky has a thing for her lol 🥰

A/N: Sincerest apologies for taking so long to get this up. I've been taking on extra duties at work since my partner got fired and things have been super crazy since it's end of quarter. it also hasn't been the best for my mental health, so writing had been a struggle. probably why this ended up being so dang angsty. Sorry. Adulting seriously sucks. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Rain pattered gently on the canvas walls of the medical tent, while boots splashed noisily in the mud it created. Outside of the tent, she could hear the daily drills going on, soldiers training, and officers shouting commands. Her own fellow nurses milled about the tent, tending to wounded soldiers or doing other daily chores. It was a quiet day for the 107th Infantry Regiment.

“Alright, Private Richards, try not to go sticking your hand into random holes again. I doubt the next rabbit will be so kind.” Nimble fingers began tidying up the bloodied cotton balls and gauze used to clean and wrap the boy’s hand. 18 years old, you would think he’d know better than to stick his hand in holes in the ground.

“Yes, First Lieutenant, ma’am…” The boy grabbed his jacket and sulked out of the med tent. She laughed to herself as she watched him go. Knowing him, he’d be back soon enough. Not unlike his Sergeant, who wandered in a few moments later, a lazy smirk on his lips.

James Buchanan Barnes. Or as she’s known for most of her life, Bucky. The charming Sergeant was her older brother’s best friend, having been around since she was small. They were all thick as thieves, hardly seen without one of the others.

It may or may not have been a blessing to constantly have Bucky around. He was kind, funny, and took good care of her and her brother. However, other boys and men didn’t seem too eager to get to know her with him hanging at her shoulder. It’s even worse now with Steve being triple the size he was a year ago.

Occasionally, a brave soul will strike up the nerve to enter the medical tent and ask her out to the nearest town for a drink and a dance. But Bucky had uncanny timing. He always popped up just as she was about to answer.

“Now, a pretty face like that shouldn’t look so angry.” A voice sounded in her ear. A startled gasp escaped her and her hands fumbled the tools she had been organizing. Bucky caught a pair of forceps before they could hit the floor.

“James! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” She admonished him with a firm smack on the shoulder. He chuckled and rubbed the sore spot.

“Ow, careful there, doll. Gonna take my arm off with that strength.”

“Oh please, it’ll take a lot more than that to get rid of you.” She spun out of his reach when he tried to grab her arm. A small smile graced her lips as she made a final spin to face him. “Did you need something, Bucky?”

“What, I can’t come see my best girl just because I want to?

“I know your troop is supposed to be running the course right now, so no you can’t just come see me because you want to,” she said while gesturing for him to sit on the cot in the corner or her station. “Now, what mess did you get yourself into to be sent here?”

“You know me so well, Darlin’,” he whispered wistfully, smiling up at her with those big blues. He wore a dopey smile as he presented his cut left hand. She pursed her lips and tried to fight the blush rising to her cheeks. Damn him.

Stepping closer, she took his calloused hand into her softer one and observed the cut. It wasn’t too deep but still needed to be cleaned and dressed.

“What happened?” She remained in between his legs as she prepped some alcohol and gauze. His right hand toyed with the fabric of her skirt. With a narrowed look, she smacked the back of it.

“Just a climbing exercise; a nail was sticking out of the wall and caught my hand.” His voice was hushed as she worked. She hummed and began cleaning the wound. He hissed and jerked his hand back. With eyes rolling, the nurse grabbed his hand more firmly.

“You big baby.”

“Your big baby.” She smacked his arm again.

<><>

Gunshots fired all around her, men shouting and screaming. Some in pain, some as a battle cry. But all she could think about was how gentle Bucky’s hands had been in hers. And how much she wished it was his hands on her right now.

But larger, rougher hands now tore at her. Pushing and pulling. She screamed from behind her gag and her hands strained against the restraints. Black boots kicked out at her captors as she fought like a feral cat. She twisted this way and that, anything to loosen their grip on her. But against four burly men, she didn’t stand a chance.

She guessed they had gotten tired of her struggling because a blunt weapon struck the back of her head and she fell limp to the ground.

It was cold. Colder than she had ever been. The air was damp, making the ache in her lungs worse. Blurry eyes peeled open. The room she sat in was dark, only a green-tinted light on the other side of the room illuminated the space. Its murky light cast deep shadows around the room that seemed to move. Her head lolled to the side as one shadow moved closer.

Ah, not shadows. Men. Hydra.

“Good evening, Miss Rogers.” His voice was heavily accented and polite. Nothing like what you’d imagine a torturer or murderer to sound like. “I am honored to have Captain America’s sister as my guest.”

She groaned. The gag was no longer wrapped around her mouth, but her tongue felt like lead. Thoughts struggled to focus and grasp what this man was saying.

“Such a shame, a First Lieutenant, Chief Nurse, so much promise in your future. But because of your brother, you’ll never get to meet that future. We have another one much better suited for you.”

His words floated through her mind but didn’t stick. She was a nurse… She helps people. Why was she here? There were soldiers at camp that needed her. Bucky needed her…

“..ucky…” She slurred, drool dribbling from the corner of her mouth. Her bones felt heavier than lead and her muscles were like the slop served at breakfast. The shadows at the edge of her vision danced ever closer.

“Don’t worry, my dear, you’ll forget the pain soon.”

<><>

Bucky tore through the camp, Steve hot on his heels. His blue eyes roved over the multitude of bodies and injured, searching for that familiar head of hair. Always done up so prettily. Like last week when she was bandaging up his hand. Her nails were painted red, and her hair was twisted up into a flawless bun. Her red-painted lips smiled warmly at him. Fear gripped his heart at the idea that he would never see that smile again.

“Bucky, stop!” Steve clamped a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, forcing the Sergeant to a stop. It wouldn’t do his sister any good if they lost their heads. As much as he wanted to tear the whole world apart until his sister was safe, he knew that reckless actions could get her killed. If she wasn’t dead already…

“She’s – she’s gone, Steve. Where is she!?” Bucky spun to face Steve, his eyes wide and slightly crazed. He can’t lose her. He never got to take her on a date. Never got to hold her close and confess how deeply and fervently he love her. Bucky bit down on his lip to stop its wobble. He can’t cry, not yet. Not while there’s still a possibility she’s out there.

“I know. I know, Buck. We’ll get her back. No matter what.”

Footsteps rushed up to the pair. A soldier stopped in front of them, slightly out of breath. “A-a letter for you, sir. It-it has the hydra insignia.”

Upon reading the contents, Steve and Bucky took off to Colonel Phillips' tent. The older man sat at a desk, signing letters to the families of the deceased and missing. Steve hardly gave the man time to put his pen down before requesting a team to rescue the captured. He decided to leave out the fact that he was only doing this to get his sister back.

“I understand the heroic need to save the day, but those who have been taken prisoner are far behind enemy lines and we don’t have the manpower or resources to conduct a rescue mission.” Phillips’ response was expected, but it didn’t stop Bucky’s jaw from clenching or his hands from balling into fists.

The Colonel looked at the two young men standing in front of him. He knew exactly why they wanted to go. Only a fool would think that Captain America wouldn’t move heaven and earth for the younger Rogers. An even bigger fool wouldn’t see the lovesick look every time James Barnes was near her, or the way his gaze follows her as she walks across the base.

Phillips sighed heavily, digging through a stack of letters yet to be signed. First Lieutenant Y/N Rogers. MIA.

Steve took the letter with shaking hands. Bucky felt a tear roll down his cheek.

They were dismissed and the two trudged away. A silent look was exchanged and they agreed. They would go after her with or without permission.

<><>

“…name… Rogers…” Chapped lips mumbled her name over and over again. A tired mind determined to hold on to herself. Don’t forget. Don’t forget. “…Y/N… Rogers…”

“Y/N?” A voice hissed.

“Y/N/N?” A different voice, closer this time.

“Steve! She’s here!” The buckles around her wrists and ankles fell off one by one. Warm, calloused hands that she dreamed about cupped her face. She groaned and willed the fog from her brain. These hands. Bucky’s hands.

“Buck…” She croaked, red lipstick smudged, and once pristine hair hanging limply around her face. His smile brightened the shadows in her vision. Steve had joined them and helped her sit up.

“Hey, doll. What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” Giving her a watery smile, he pushed the hair from her face. The cheap line earned him a weak chuckle.

“Oh, what any girl does in a place like this,” she responded. Together, the two men helped her to her feet. The room pitched suddenly, her legs giving out under her. Whatever they had given her made her legs weak.

“Guess you make me a little weak in the knees,” she joked as Bucky swept her into his arms. She tucked her head into his neck, leaning heavily into him. Steve carefully led the way out, checking around corners and taking out any enemy soldiers that they crossed paths with.

Eventually, the trio made it out of the now-burning building. A mass of freed soldiers met them and together the company fought their way back to their camp. Bucky cradled her close to his chest the entire time. He stuck close to Steve, letting him take the punches. Steve didn’t mind.

For almost two weeks she was laid up in a cot in the medical tent. It was strange, in the years that she had been an army nurse, she had been the one giving care. She had never been the patient. And the patient of her subordinates, no less.

Her closer friends teased her that she was a horrible patient. Their teasing helped ease the residual anxiety and adrenaline from her ordeal. But what had really helped, was Bucky’s constant presence. During meal time and recreation time, he would come to visit her in the medical tent. Steve would drop by as well, but it was mostly Bucky.

As the days passed, Bucky seemed more and more nervous, however. Like he had something to say, just on the tip of his tongue. Sometimes, when he maybe thought she wasn’t looking, she caught him looking guilty. She hoped beyond hope that he didn’t blame himself for what had happened.

“You’re cleared to return to light duty, First Lieutenant,” Second Lieutenant Fredricks said with a smile.

The first few days of light duty were spent organizing and assisting. Then after a week, she was cleared to begin training again. Nurses didn’t necessarily need to do the drills the men did, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t. She also preferred to stay in shape and to keep her skills from going rusty.

Growing up with her brother being bullied, Y/N learned how to defend not only herself but Steve, as well. The elder Rogers sibling didn’t care for her fighting but he did appreciate that in a pinch, she could defend herself.

In the early morning, dressed in a pair of trousers and a simple shirt, Y/N makes her way to the track. A run should be light enough.

She could make out the tall frames of Steve and Bucky amongst the other men getting ready for their morning run. Bucky smiled as she approached.

“Hey, how’s it going? You sure you’re okay to be running?” Bucky brushed his hand over hers when she stopped in front of him. The touch made her stomach flutter but she smiled confidently at him.

“Actually, I’ve never felt better. I’m tired of being cooped up in the med tent for so long.” She bent to tighten her boots’ laces. Bucky shrugged and patted her shoulder, teasingly telling her to not fall behind. She scoffed and took off after the troops in a light jog.

Steve and Bucky kept pace with her, both worrying she might become too tired and collapse. Their hovering and not-so-subtle glances did not go unnoticed by her. Irritation settled quickly in her bones. She wasn’t some fragile flower. Just because something bad happened to her doesn’t mean she going to break at any moment.

Spurred by anger, her legs moved faster on their own accord. Steve glanced at his best friend as they sped up to match. Soon, the three of them were overtaking the other troops. Bucky was breathing heavily as they passed the frontman, now in a full sprint.

“W-wait!” He panted as the two Rogers siblings were now racing down the path. How was she running that fast!? How wasn’t she tired? Her smaller frame broke past Steve, who was now struggling to keep up.

The younger Rogers didn’t even notice the concerned and shocked looks she was receiving. The wind rushing in her ears and the trees blurring in her vision was all she could focus on. She felt like she was flying; her feet barely touching the ground. She felt free.

She burst into the clearing at the end of their running trail, the morning sun warming her wind-chilled skin. The grass kicked up as she skidded to a halt. A laugh erupted from her, her head light with adrenaline and awe. Then reality sunk in.

Bucky and Steve broke through the tree line a few minutes later.

“Y/N!”

She turned to look at them, her brows scrunched together and lips forming a thin line.

“They did this to me…” She murmured, gazing turning down at her clenched fists. She had thought she was feeling so good because she survived Hydra’s torment. How quickly this revelation brought her down. They poked and prodded, injected, and dissected. They had changed her.

“Doll?” Bucky approached her slowly, hands out in front of him. Seeing her lip wobble had his heart shattering in him. Throwing caution to the wind, he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest, drowning her sobs in the rough fabric of his shirt. Her brother stood beside them, rubbing his hand over her shoulders.

“I’ve got ya, sweets. I got ya,” Bucky muttered into her hair. “We’re gonna figure this out. It’ll be okay.”

Lord, he hoped he was telling the truth.

<><>

Months went by as she adjusted to her new abilities. After she discovered her inhuman speed, she quickly learned she was inhumanly strong. Not as strong as her brother, but definitely stronger than any other man in the camp.

She began training with the men, easily laying anyone flat during sparring. Even Steve struggled against her. While he surpassed her in strength, she made it up in speed and agility. She had been given the moniker of Lady Liberty once the higher-ups found out.

But despite the usefulness of these abilities. She couldn’t help but feel violated. Every night she woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming of their cold instruments and icy laughter. More than once she ended up in the clearing from months before.

Each time she made it out there, Bucky wasn’t far behind. He held her as he had back then, whispering comforting words and stroking her hair. This night began no differently than the others. They sat in the middle of the clearing, the half-moon illuminated above their heads.

“I’m sorry, Bucky… You don’t have to come out here with me every night.” She sniffled, wiping her tears from her cheeks. She was settled in between his stretched-out legs, her own draped over one of his thighs. He shook his head and sighed.

“I don’t mind, Doll. Really.” Soft lips pressed against her temple. “Unless you tell me to go, I won’t leave your side. I can’t.”

Shining eyes looked up into his baby blues. She had never felt so safe and protected as she did in Bucky’s arms. Even though she could easily kick his butt in a fight, she knew he would fight tooth and nail for her. And she would burn down the world for him.

There was no doubt in her mind as she pressed her lips to his. He sighed against her as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer by the waist. Everything clicked into place with this kiss. They had been dancing around this thing between them for years, neither willing to take the leap and possibly lose what they already had.

But the feeling of her lips on his, the taste of her on his tongue had him bitterly regretting not doing this sooner. How many kisses could they have had? How many dates and late nights have they missed? He sure had a lot of time to make up.

“I love you, Y/N.” His breath fanned across the skin of her neck as his kiss-swollen lips brushed along it.

“I love you, James.”

<><>

Over the next two years, the Howling Commandos slowly but surely made their way through the Hydra bases. First Lieutenant Rogers led alongside her brother, Captain Rogers. Not only as extra muscle, but as a nurse, and occasionally, spy. Bucky didn’t like the idea of his girl being ogled by slimy nazi men, but she convinced him that no one would expect a woman to be a super soldier.

She would infiltrate their meetings as a piece of eye candy, acquiring information as needed and then arresting the men as she saw fit.

But this particular mission didn’t require revealing dresses or sultry makeup. Rather, she wore a winter coat and combat boot with reinforced soles. The speed that she ran quickly ate through nearly all of her shoes.

The Commandos were all situated on a cliff overlooking another with a set of train tracks. They were waiting on the train carrying Doctor Zola. Glove-covered hands clenched at her side. Doctor Zola. One of the men who had turned her into this. Turned her into a weapon.

Bucky’s heavy hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her to his side. His soft lips brushed against her temple.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he reassured. “We go in, kick some ass, and then get out. Easy.”

She chuckled and pressed a kiss to his waiting lips. The other men had the decency to look away from the couple.

“Alright, lovebirds, let’s get a move on.” Steve’s voice called out from the edge of the cliff.

She scoffed at her brother and kissed her sergeant once more. “See you on the other side, tiger.”

<><>

Things were going south very quickly. Hydra had more gun power than she had thought. A huge man with bigger guns than himself stood in the doorway to their car. His guns glowed blue as they powered up.

Steve shoved both his sister and Bucky behind him, holding up his shield. The blast had her teeth rattling in her skull, her body flying back further than the boys. The impact of her head hitting the metal floor caused stars to dance in her vision.

She could barely comprehend the cold rush of air from the massive hole in the side of the train. And before she could gather herself, the man was priming another shot, pointed directly at her. Shaking legs tried to bare her weight as she scrambled for her gun.

Bucky had gathered himself faster than her or her brother, so she could only watch as he picked up Steve’s shield and fired a few shots at the enemy. A scream ripped from her throat when blue light shot out at her sergeant.

Bucky went flying, the shield in the other direction. Both the Rogers siblings jumped into action. Steve went for the shield, quickly taking out the other man. She leaped for the hole in the wall of the train that Bucky had flown out of.

Her eyes widened with horror as she gazed upon the man she loved, hanging on for dear life to the crumbling handrails.

“Bucky! Hold on!” She reached out to him, trying to find her footing to get to him and pull him to safety. The look in his eyes was one she had never seen on him before. Blue eyes wide with fear, his mouth poised in a silent scream. And as his fingers brushed against hers, tips barely able to curl around each other, he was gone.

His scream was joined by hers. The image of him falling to his death will forever be ingrained in her mind. It’ll be the last thing on her mind as she goes to sleep and the first one when she wakes up. It’ll be there when she fights her way through Hydra soldiers, and as she sends her fist straight into Johann Schmidt’s ugly, red face.

Steve worried about his sister’s mental health since that day. She had retreated into herself. Long gone was the witty and strong woman he knew. His sister, who had always been so bright, had been replaced by someone who only knew how to fight.

She only spoke to give orders or to communicate during battle. Her words were always clipped and to the point; no room for banter or sarcasm. The icy wall she had built around herself was all to conceal the torment her mind tortured her with.

If only she had been stronger, maybe she wouldn’t have been down for so long. If she had been faster, she could have reached him before he fell. If she had been better, maybe he wouldn’t have died. Every moment was filled with these thoughts. Awake or not. It was all she could think about.

Eventually, she became too tired. She fought with everything she had; Bucky at least deserved that. She wouldn’t give up simply because it would mean he died in vain. However, with each new opponent, she could help but wish that this one would be stronger than her.

No opponent was ever stronger than her. Until now.

It wasn’t a person that she now faced her death with. But a plane filled with explosives. Schmidt was gone, as was the Tesseract. Now, she and her brother faced the cracked windows of the plane. She tried to keep her lip from trembling as Steve spoke with Peggy.

Even if she hadn’t gotten her happy ending, she had wished her big brother would have gotten his. Tear-filled eyes opened when she felt a hand come to rest on hers. Steve’s face was solemn as he spoke.

“I’ve gotta put it in the water.” He was half telling Peggy and half asking for permission from his sister. It wasn’t just his life going down for millions of others, but his little sister’s, too. The siblings shared a weighty look before she nodded.

Lady Liberty listened quietly as Captain America spoke with Agent Carter. No.

Y/N listened brokenheartedly as her big brother said his goodbyes to the woman he loved and who loved him in return.

And as Steve redirected the plane to the icy terrain below, she closed her eyes and imagined the warm hands of her love. His blue fire eyes and easy grin. The feel of his lips against hers. The sound of her name on his tongue.

I’m coming, Bucky.

#my writing #grace writes shit #reader insert #request #angst #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #avenger x reader #tw: mental health #tw: self loathing #tw: depression #tw: ptsd

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siennafrxst · 9 months

Text

↳ cassiopeia 𖤐𓈒࣪₊˚

pairing: loki laufeyson x female reader

universe: mcu

cw: anticlimactic angst, eventual fluff

word count: 1.5k words

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

“Okay, let’s get out of here.”

Loki and Y/N swiftly exit the gathering, leaving behind no evidence of the havoc they had just wreaked.

Even though everyone (especially Thor, Odin, and Frigga) knew the particular duo that would be insane enough to execute an equally insane plan, that never stopped them from continuing to do so. Even after the multiple times they’ve been thrown and locked away into cages like wild animals, it was worth it. Wrecking formal gatherings were practically Loki and Y/N’s most beloved tradition. And whenever they did, the mess they’d cause would always work to give them enough time to get away from the boring event. Besides, you can’t deny that it never fails to spice things up.

Chuckling to themselves, the two Asgardians continue to disappear from the crime scene and eventually head out into the quiet night.

“That never gets old,” Y/N confesses with a grin plastered on her face.

Loki returns a similar smile, nodding in agreement. “I don’t quite think I’ll ever get tired of doing that.”

“Of course you won’t, you’re the God of Mischief. It’s what makes you—well, you.”

He chuckles softly once more at her statement, staring into her eyes for a brief moment before examining the bewitching, starry night.

“The sky has quite a lot of stars to offer us tonight.”

Y/N follows his gaze and looks up, the many balls of light shining luminously unto them.

“What constellations can you spot?”

“I see… Cassiopeia, right over there.”

He points a finger towards the formation of stars as she nods, discerning the said constellation.

“Do you know the myth behind it?” she questions in curiosity.

Loki gives her a knowing look, raising his eyebrows. “Of course I do — what do you think of me?”

She rolls her eyes at his arrogance. “Enough with the cocky act and just answer the question. I know you want to.”

He lets out a scoff, momentarily gazing back into the mesmerizing constellation before telling the story. “Cassiopeia was a stunning yet boastful queen who claimed that she and her daughter, Andromeda, were the most beautiful creatures to exist, which includes the Nereids. They were insulted by her assertion, and so they made Poseidon punish her for it. But, the only way to prevent him from doing so was if she gave up her own daughter to a sea monster. Cassiopeia selfishly agreed, however, she would later on make a deal with a man named Perseus, promising to rescue Andromeda in return for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately, when he managed to rescue her, Cassiopeia attempted to break her promise with him. But, Andromeda and Perseus fought for their love, so on the day of their wedding, Cassiopeia ordered Agneron and his army to stop them. In the end, Perseus managed to use Medusa’s beheaded skull and turn everyone to stone. And so, the happy couple got their happy ending. The end.”

A soft smile forms on Y/N’s face, noticing the glimmer of excitement hiding behind his emerald green eyes. Loki was never one to show much interest in — well — anything, so seeing him enthusiastic in a certain topic (other than pulling pranks on Thor) was a nice change. It was a side of him that she rarely got to see, but when she did, she loved every second of it.

“You know, if all else fails, you would be an excellent astrology professor.”

Loki rolls his eyes at her sarcastic remark. “Hilarious,” he replies in a deadpan tone.

Y/N chuckles softly, her face perking up promptly as she recalls something. “Hey, isn’t there a nebula within Cassiopeia?”

Loki nods. “Right, the Heart Nebula. Which, you can tell by its name, represents…”

Loki held back, reluctant to say the word he never believed could be real. A feeling that he was sure he would never experience again.

Until he met her.

“Love,” she finishes in a soft tone, her eyes immediately finding his.

They both may have been almost a thousand years old, but they were still completely oblivious when it came to that one, cliche emotion. That one emotion that was arguably the most powerful one, though neither of them knew it at that time. That one emotion that drew the two Asgardians closer, clueless to the reason behind it. Despite almost being complete opposites, like fire and ice, something made them fight for what they had. Something bigger than they realized.

They were just too naive to know what it was. Until one of them would eventually crack the code.

“Loki… there’s something I need to confess.”

He sharply inhales, already having an inane idea on where this may lead. But for some reason… he didn’t want to stop her.

“Go on.”

She sighs. “Well, I’m grateful for our unlikely friendship. Despite our years of constant fighting and petty rivalry, we managed to get over that and become… whatever it is we are, exactly.”

He hums softly, signaling for her to continue.

“But… I can’t ignore this feeling that I’ve been feeling for the past few years. This feeling that I’ve never felt in my entire existence, but… I think I have a solid idea on what it might be — as cliche as that may sound. I don’t know how to put it in words, I just — it’s just this feeling I get whenever I’m with you, and I like it.” She sighs once more, seemingly expaserated. “Look, I’ve never done this before, but, what I’m trying to say is…”

Her mouth was left agape, but no words fell out of it. She could only stare desperately into his eyes, begging for him to interupt her at any moment. But to no avail. Loki simply stood before her, completely dumbfounded with what she was telling him. And yet she couldn’t read his face. She couldn’t tell if he felt the same way, or if he was utterly disgusted, or if he had even understood the words coming out of her mouth. Truth be told, she didn’t quite understand the nonsense she was spewing out either. But it was better than having to keep her mouth shut about what she was feeling. Because she knew that one way or another, she had to let him know. Let him know his effect on her. Let him know the way he was making her feel. Let him know how much he means to her.

But in this very moment — his silence, the void state on his face — it made her want to take all her words back. She’s never been more vulnerable to anyone else before. Maybe she was just making a fool out of herself, opening herself up to the literal God of Mischief. Maybe that was a mistake on her part. But this feeling she’s been feeling for the past few years… it was no mistake. She knew that it meant something. It had to.

Muttering up the strength again, she finally broke the silence.

“Are you really just going to stand there and make me have to finish my sentence?” she questions, almost scoffing.

And to her surprise, he nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I will. Because I want to hear the exact words come out of your mouth. And I want to hear you mean it.”

Loki stepped closer towards her as she was left astonished, not expecting that kind of response from him. But, even if he hadn’t, she knew that she needed to say it.

“Fine. Then…”

She momentarily closes her eyes — having him watch her like this was driving her insane. But when she opened her eyes once more, she was met with the same, desperate eyes she was wearing just a few seconds ago. As though he was longing for her to say it. As though he had been waiting for as long as she did to act upon their feelings. And that was all the courage she needed to keep going.

“…I think I’m in love you.”

In an instant, Loki brought their faces together and kissed her lips, not wasting another second with her.

And for a moment there, time seemed to have stopped. All sense of meaning and logic just disappeared when their lips touched. The two grasped and held onto each other, scared to let go of one another only to realize that it was all just a dream.

When the two finally pulled apart breathlessly, they stay in that singular moment of silence — the rustling of the wind, the muffled chatter from a far distance, the soft yet comforting breathing coming from them both. Their foreheads still connected, they stay in each other’s presence, processing what had just happened. Processing their emotions, the decisions they made tonight. Everything that led to right now.

Until they finally opened their eyes, gazing into one another for one more second before Loki broke the silence.

“I think I’m in love with you, too.”

And just like that, the stars in the night sky weren’t the brightest thing in the universe anymore. It was the smiles that formed on their faces in this very moment.

after more than 3 months, I finally got the motivation to write something for loki. very timely as well since the loki series 2 trailer just came out. I miss him so much why’d they have to kill him off.

likes and reblogs are vv appreciated.

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mediocre-daydreams · 2 years

Text

the one where the protein shake plays matchmaker

pairing: bucky barnes x gn! avengers! reader

summary: you and bucky barnes can find any reason to hate each other. new york can find any reason to believe you two are together. when steve asks you to do a co-interview with bucky, the two of you are barraged by dating rumors that you vehemently deny and it breaks bucky’s heart. do you really find the thought of being with bucky so revolting?

w/c: 10k

warnings: angst with a happy ending! (it’s not a fluffy ending, but there’ll be more parts to come with the fluff u guys deserve.) bucky’s an asshole, ur an asshole, but bucky’s also vulnerable and insecure and ur so fucking confused, and sam was joking the whole time but damn it actually happened. not proof read!!!

a/n: this is the longest fic i’ve ever written i literally woke up this morning, sat at the kitchen table, and blacked out for the entire day until this monstrosity of a piece was produced. peace out.

it was all sam’s fault. (but isn’t it always sam’s fault?)

you were nursing a freshly brewed coffee, the top half of your body folded over tony’s white onyx dupont corian marble countertops—which he just had installed two weeks ago and would kill you if he saw how casually you were treating them—when sam called you from his spot on the couch.

“hey, get over here,” he snorted. “you’re gonna wanna see this.”

you made no effort to move. “i’m looking at you right now, sam.” it wasn’t a lie; your spot from the countertop gave you a perfect view of sam’s lounging profile as he pointed the remote at the TV, aggressively pressing the volume button so you couldn’t avoid at least hearing whatever news he wanted you to see.

“...and the former Winter Soldier, otherwise known as Sargent James Barnes, are taking the internet by storm as young fans flood social media with pictures of the two cozying up outside a local café after the Avengers returned from an appearance in Manhattan.” you could hear the smile in the reporter’s voice. “personally, i’ve been a believer since the park bench incident, but many twitter users are claiming this is the ultimate confirmation of their relationship.”

“okay, what the hell?” you abandoned your coffee, stalking over to where sam was sitting smugly. “you’re telling me that james fucking barnes is in a relationship? are we talking about the same barnes? tall, brooding, bitchy barnes?” you roll your eyes as you slouched into the cushions and nuzzled into sam’s shoulder.

“yeah, in a relationship with you, hon.” sam tilted his head, resting it atop yours.

“ha ha, it’s too early for your bad jokes and you already tore me away from my caffeine fix.”

you could feel sam shuffling from above you, his breathy laugh making you suspicious.

“i’m not joking—just look.”

“FINALLY,’ one twitter user says, in all caps. i mean, that much is obvious.” the screen flashes with images of you and bucky, the two of you making eye contact in battle, walking next to each other through times square, you tending to his wounds on the sidewalk, and what you imagine to be the park bench incident that one of the reporters referred to earlier—bucky and you practically nose-to-nose, his cheeks flushed and your eyebrows furrowed.

“what the fuck? what is this?” you throw yourself off sam, the top of your head slamming into his chin in your haste. sam clutches his jaw, groaning dramatically before he flings himself on top of you, one hand coming up to his forehead as he gasps, pretending to faint.

“you’ve killed me! oh, what will bucky say when he finds out the love of his life is a murderer? what will he do when you’re jailed for manslaughter?” sam cages you with his arms, grinning maniacally from his perch a few inches above your face.

“sam, what the fuck? what did i just watch?” before sam can answer, you hear a loud and familiar scoff from the doorway.

“nobody wants to watch you make out in the kitchen, princess. it’s making me lose my appetite.” bucky strides in and your scowl immediately deepens. you wrestle yourself out from underneath sam.

“how many times have i told you to stop with that? we’re not making out, so stop taking your hangriness out on me, gramps.”

“sure, that explains why he’s literally on top of you. god, i see you guys groping each other so often that the image is practically branded into my mind.”

“groping? grope- so you can’t get me out of your mind, is that it? perv.”

bucky doesn’t give you the satisfaction of an answer, but you take it to mean that you’ve won. “right, and now you’ve got nothing to say? good, because i can’t stand your stupid, grating voice criticizing everything i do.” you’re on the verge of getting up and shoving yourself in front of his aggravating face just to prove a point, but sam interrupts your thoughts.

“ah, a lover’s quarrel. what is it, 7:30? this has got to be a record.” sam whips his phone out. “smile for the camera! TMZ is going to eat this up. imagine the headlines! ‘trouble in paradise: avengers star crossed couple bickering after jealous tensions arise.’”

“jealous?” bucky sneers. “what have i got to be jealous of? you two are sickening.” you realize how closely you’re still sitting next to sam.

“you’re just envious because you haven’t gotten any since the 40s.” you scoot away from sam’s side, refusing to give bucky more ammunition. “admit it, you wish women liked you as much as they like me.” it’s a bit of a low blow, and you’re aware. since becoming a public feature amongst the avengers, patching up his reputation has been a slow process. meanwhile, new york adores you. you can’t go anywhere without people asking you for autographs and pictures, but you don’t mind. you’re honored that the city entrusts you with the duty of protecting them, so you figure the least you can do is repay them with these small requests and warm smiles. bucky, on the other hand, mainly receives nervous glances and parents pulling their children closer to their sides. on the off chance some giddy fan requests a picture, bucky glowers until they leave with dejection painted across their faces. it’s no wonder bucky hasn’t been on any dates.

“right, because i’m so jealous of all your tiktik edits. slow motion close-ups of your face and body in different colors? alright doll, i’m sure women eat that up.” he’d never admit it, but he has seen some of your edits, and if he were to be objective, they were quite flattering. but, if he was to be subjective, he’d never personally be attracted to them.

sam coughed, hiding a laugh and bucky’s mispronunciation of the social media app.

“you know what? enjoy your protein shake, or whatever it is that appeases your masculinity. your testosterone is giving me a migraine.” you’re out of the room in a minute, taking your frustration from the room. bucky’s moodiness still loomed.

“the sexual tension is off the charts,” sam teased. bucky tensed, freezing as he measures his protein powder. (you were right, he does drink protein shakes.) “why can’t you guys just fuck already?”

bucky stammered. the tips of his ears were heating up, and he thanked himself for not getting that haircut. his brown locks are shorter than before, but still tousled enough to cover his ears when he’s sporting bedhead. “sexual tensi- sam, are you insane? i’m not gonna fuck your girl.”

sam had the audacity to laugh. to guffaw. bucky turned around, his confusion evident.

“my- my girl?” he’s wheezing, clutching his stomach. bucky didn’t have time for this.

“yes, why-” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “why do you keep talking about your girlfriend like that? i know it’s none of my business, or whatever, but it’s disrespectful. and for your information, i would never feel that way towards her, so you don’t have to worry.”

“my girl. my girl!” sam caught his breath, exaggeratingly fanning himself. “she’s not my girl, bucky. my girl, holy shit. my girl?” sam’s in disbelief, repeating the words as if he’s trying to process the absolute ludicrousy of it all. “that’s… that’s kind of disgusting, honestly. she’s like, my baby sister. do you need to get your prescription updated? they’ve been my sibling since they started here. i’m pretty sure they got me one of those gag gift “best older brother” mugs at some point, it might still be in the cabinet.” he gestured to behind bucky, where the tower’s impressive collection of mugs was hidden behind sliding glass.

bucky dug through the treasure chest of porcelain. sure enough, there was the mug, hidden in the back and collecting dust. ugly comic sans spelled out “i love my big brother,” with a red heart in lieu of the word love.

“i- so you guys aren’t together?”

“god, no! do you know how much younger they are than me? well, actually, not by much. but young enough that i view them as practically a child.”

bucky couldn’t help the boil in his stomach at that. “they’re not a child, sam. they’re an adult, and very capable of pissing me off just like an adult. as much as i hate children, they’re not capable of being such bi-” bucky refrained from using the word ‘bitches,’ knowing of its dehumanizing undertones and historical abuse against non-male people, and had decided to remove it from his vocabulary all together. he had been reading modern books and recently, gotten into feminism. bucky was still an equal opportunity offender, though. he wasn’t sexist—he hated you just as much as he hated sam. he opted for insulting sam. “don’t be an ansshole, sam.”

“why are you so worried, buck? you want them all to yourself, don’tcha?”

“are you kidding me? i can’t stand them! they’re so- argh, they make me want to- god, they’re so mouth it makes me want to gag them.”

“kinky.”

“i swear to god, sam. you’re not going to live to see your precious sibling again because i am going to come and murder you.” he started towards the couch, fists clenched.

“wait! before you bash in my pretty face, i’ve got something to show you.” bucky couldn’t help his curiosity as he took the phone from sam’s hands. “it’s a tiktok edit, the type you were talking about earlier.”

bucky had never realized people made tiktok edits of him. he was secretly flattered. the video had captured his good side, too. “and this is relevant how?” sam didn’t need to answer, because a few seconds later, bucky’s eyes looked like they were bulging out of his head. the video had gotten to the slow motion bit, and you had come on screen. the video showed you grabbing bucky’s hand mid-battle to drag him out of harm’s way, sparkles and hearts fluttering around the two of you. it cut to another slow motion of you two sending a silent message as you made eye contact from across the street, and then the video zoomed in on both of your faces as the music crescendoed. bucky, utilizing his new knowledge of the modern world, tapped on the comments. they were flooded with bullshit messages like “the way they look at each other <33” and “i want what they have” and even “somebody run me over with a bus.” he didn’t understand the last one, but the first two confirmed his fears.

“sam, do people- do people think we’re together?”

sam chortled. “if by people, you mean all of new york, then yes.” bucky’s face turned beet red as he tossed the phone back to his annoying friend as if it were a hot coal.

“oh god, oh my god… out of everyone, it has to be them?”

“don’t look so disgusted, man. we all know you guys have the hots for each other.”

bucky was running his hands through his hair in distress as he paced. just then, wanda appeared, dragging natasha behind her as she chattered on about the new sneakers she was getting pietro as natasha suggested colors. “aw, bucky’s blushing! i saw that video of you guys on the news, it was really cute. congrats on finally getting together!”

natasha smirked, a little more perceptive than the optimistic wanda. “yeah, congrats. i’m guessing the make-up sex was good, then? i heard a lot of noise this morning.”

“we are not together!” bucky growled.

“huh, really? could’ve fooled me. your thoughts are so loud about her, bucky. i don’t mean to read them or anything, but sometimes they’re just so strong that i can’t help it. i thought it was because you really loved her, or something.” wanda smiled, completely oblivious. “it’s kind of romantic, honestly.”

“in love with them?” bucky looked horrified. “please, i can’t even look them in the eye. they make me sick. i have to hold back my puke every time i’m near them.”

wanda, simultaneously preparing an omelette for her and natasha, shrugged. natasha quirked an eyebrow.

“sounds an awful lot like butterflies, buck. just sayin’.” she and wanda were quick to return to cooking as bucky stood here, shaking his head in shock. him? loving you? loudmouthed, arrogant, know-it-all you? you with the savior complex and big heart? big hearts were a weakness. they made you vulnerable.

bucky squished his face together, sighing. “i’m done with this conversation,” he mumbled. he looked down at his protein shake, which had begun to warm up in his hand as he had neglected it in favor of talking about you. he couldn’t help it—you were just so infuriating, how could he not think about you?

it was all steve’s fault. (captain america was not the golden boy everyone made him out to be.)

“have you lost it? bucky and i, doing an interview? first of all, you know that he’s going to provoke me the whole time. we’re gonna be at each others’ throats, and is that really the image you want to project? that the avengers can’t even get along? and second, he’s not exactly the most well liked right now. no offense to you, steve, but not everyone can see bucky the way you do. it’s all so new to everyone, and to him too, and it’s a lot to expect him to represent us. you, more than anyone, should know how antsy he gets around cameras. all the questions are gonna make him uncomfortable, and let’s be realistic, they’re going to be invasive questions too. he’s literally just started therapy, and expecting him to uncover all the details of his past to be broadcasted to the entire nation is kind of fucked up.”

steve looked at you with a look in his eye that you couldn’t quite place, as if he knew something you didn’t. “i know it’s asking a lot of him, and you too, but i think this is really going to help. having him open up a bit is going to show the people that he’s not the winter soldier anymore, but that he’s bucky barnes, a former soldier and a hero. people adore you, and you know that. your presence is going to humanize him. if you guys could just get along for an hour, you could do wonders for his public image. and yes, i know he hates cameras. but part of his distaste is because he knows they’re going to pin him in a bad light, but with you by his side, this could finally be the chance for him to get some positive attention. and if the interview goes really well, i’m hoping that positive press can be more permanent.”

you sigh, running the pros and cons through your head. on one hand, you hated his guts. he hated yours too, and because of that, you didn’t owe him anything. he was a big boy, he could handle his own problems. plus, you didn’t want to play babysitter for him of all people. you knew that you’d both hate it.

but still, this was bucky barnes. he might be indifferent and rude and self-absorbed, but he was still just a man overcoming his trauma. you could understand that—he was a POW thrust nearly 80 years into the future only to be harassed and hated by the public. he deserved a little bit of peace, and if one measly interview could change the way people treated him, maybe it was worth it. it would be selfish, you thought, to let your own hatred for him prevent him from that opportunity for happiness that would finally come from positive public attention.

“fine. i’ll do it.” you steeled your jaw. “but it’s not for him. not whatsoever. i just- i pity him, that’s all. it must suck for everyone to think you’re a dick, even if you kind of are. but this is the only time i’m ever doing anything for him—i mean, with him—so don’t get used to it.”

“thank you,” steve took your hands in his large ones, fingers curling over your defeated wrists. “this means so much to me. this’ll mean so much to him, too.”

you turned on your heel, calling over your shoulder. “send me the information. and let him know not to get the wrong impression—i still hate him.”

steve chuckled, looking down at the ground with amusement.

bucky cursed the world when he heard the news. “with them? are you kidding me? the whole interview is going to be about how kind and selfless and universally adored they are, it’s not going to help at all! plus, we’re going to be at each others’ throats and then it won’t matter what kind of press i’ll get because i’ll be in jail for first degree murder, you punk! please, dear god, please cancel it.”

“i can’t cancel it, buck. it’s scheduled for tomorrow.” bucky groaned, running his hands down his face. “it’s only an hour of screentime, and you’ll probably only be with them for a total of three hours.”

“why are there two extra hours, then?”

“you’ll have to get ready, and then you’ll probably stay and talk with the producers afterwards. it’s only polite. it’s live, so the audience will most likely want to meet you too.”

“steve, as much as i despire dr. raynor, i’m going to tell her about how insufferable you are. maybe she can issue me a medical exemption, because there’s no way this could be good for my mental health.”

“sorry, bud. i actually talked to dr. raynor about this, and she thinks it’d be good for you to make a public appearance and get people to like you more. something about a weight off your shoulders and team cooperation or whatnot. plus, you know dr. raynor would probably end up scheduling an extra session with you if you bailed, so the interview is probably the lesser of two evils.”

“fine. you know what? fine. but if the devil reincarnated doesn’t come back unscathed, don’t blame me.” bucky hung up with an aggressive tap on his screen, muttering a string of profanities under his breath.

it was wanda’s fault. she insisted on styling you, putting you in this nice button down and helping you pick out a pair of cool patterned pants. you refused the loose tie, even though wanda said it made you look hot. “i don’t want to look hot, wanda. i just want to get this over with.” you whined.

“babe, looking hot will make it more enjoyable. just imagine how many memes they’re going to get out of this; don’t you want to look your best?” wanda giggled, admiring your face in the mirror as makeup artists powdered your nose. bucky sat in the chair next to you, absolutely silent, his face expressionless as stylists attacked him with hairspray to keep that slightly windblown look in place. you had to admit, he was pretty with his hair all natural, or at least, styled with the intention of making it look so. this was all objective observation, though.

one of bucky’s stylists called your name gently. “what do you think?”

“it’s lovely, you’ve done such a wonderful job,” you smiled, genuinely appreciative for their attentive care and hard work.

“thank you! but i can’t take much credit. your boyfriend is a natural beauty,” the stylist commented as he dabbed a bit of foundation on bucky’s cheeks. bucky choked a bit. “hold still!” the stylist chided.

your stylist laughed at his reaction. “and such a sweetheart too! he’s a real good one, held the door for me and everything. you’re a real delight to work with,” she looked towards bucky, who was bewildered. “don’t tell anyone i said this, but you’re a welcome change from the snobbish interviewees we usually get. please, feel free to get interviewed more often.” she winked, applying a sheen of tint to your lips, preventing your from interjecting.

wanda’s eyes twinkled. “they’re so cute, aren’t they?” she chirped. “have you seen that picture of them on the bench?” she held her hand up to her heart. “so precious!”

your lips were finally free. “we’re not toge-”

just your luck; you were interrupted. “five minutes to showtime!” a voice called from out of view.

“thank you, five!” wanda and the stylists called. your stylist fiddled with your hair before giving you a nod of satisfaction and shooing you and bucky out. you two stood by the small hallway by the stage entrance. his body was burly enough to take up more than half the space, and you were forced so close to each other that you could feel his breath on your face. you immediately recognized the nerves—you had worn that same expression before your first interview, and you had wrung your hands in the same way, and you had trembled under clint’s reassuring gaze before he had taken your hand and squeezed it in comfort.

you wanted bucky’s interview to go well. after all, you knew what it was like to be in his shoes. cautiously, watching yourself as you slowly extended your fingers and brushed them against his. he shivered, taking a sharp inhale of air and holding his breath. his hand was too big for you to nestle your fingers between him comfortably, so instead, you nestled your palm between his. fingers wrapping around the back of his hand and tapping rhythmically, your eyes flickered up to meet his once again. his blue eyes, which had previously been stormy and dark, had lightened somewhat as they bored into yours. your heart was pounding. when was the last time you had been so nervous to be on TV? you had become somewhat of a natural, and it was all second nature. you supposed the stakes were higher this time around. now, you had to keep an eye out for bucky, and you’d be damned if you did a bad job.

bucky’s gaze snapped to the door as your cue was called, and he let go of the breath he was holding as he tightened his grip around your hand wordlessly. you gave him a small smile, eyebrows pinching sympathetically as you read the trepidation in his expressive eyes. “you’re gonna do great. just follow my lead.” he nodded, clenching his jaw in determination as you headed on stage to the cheering of an audience. the loveseat was smaller than usual, and you and bucky’s thighs brushed against each other as you settled in.

“welcome, welcome! here they are, the couple of the hour!” the crowd roared at that. your hand had begun to grow clammy, and you realized you and bucky had yet to let go of each others’ hands. you tore yours away from him quickly, wiping the perspiration on your pants as subtly as you could. you noticed his pang of hurt, quickly replaced by a fake smile.

“couple!” you laughed nervously. “i’m not sure how that rumor got started, but bucky and i are not together.” the host looked genuinely surprised.

“really? well, we respect your privacy 110%. celebrity dating can be complicated nowadays; have you seen megan fox and MGK? now that couple is the opposite of private.” you couldn’t help but laugh, breaking into another fit as the camera zoomed in on bucky’s puzzled face. you watched as he pursed his lips on the big screen behind the audience that allowed to you see how the interview was being broadcasted, which you were grateful for. you knew how notorious media could be about presentation—they could manipulate your actions and take your words out of context to frame the story in whichever way would bring in the most profit.

“so, sergeant barnes,” the host begun.

“bucky is fine.” bucky mumbled. you turned to him and mouthed “it’s okay,” and with a cute scrunch of his nose, he cleared his throat and repeated himself more confidently. “bucky is fine. ‘s what steve calls me; actually, most people i know call me that.”

“bucky, huh? now where do you get bucky from james?” bucky smiled, a true smile, as he recounted the origin of his name.

“well, james was a popular name back in the 40s.” there were a couple laughs from the audience as people remembered how old he really was—he had been adjusting to the modern look well, and with his trendy look courtesy of his stylist and timeless handsomeness, he looked as if he could be a celebrity of this time. “so steve got tired of all the mix-ups. don’t tell anyone this,” he mock whispered, holding his hand up to his mouth as he leaned over you to pretend to secretly speak the host. in the process, he had rested his hand on your thigh, gripping the softness of your skin for balance. “my middle name is buchanan. kind of embarrassing, right?”

he leaned back, removing his hand from your thigh without second thought. you were left a bit dazed, but as you blinked a few times to come to your senses, you retaliated by ruffling his hair and ruining his stylist’s hard work. “c’mon, winnie picked that one out for you. show some respect.”

he laughed, bringing his hand up to meet your own, patting it good-naturedly before removing it from the top of his head. “alright, alright. so steve took buchanan and turned it into bucky, and it’s stuck ever since. it’s a lot cooler than james barnes, and coming from the 40s, i think i need all the cool i can get.” the host chuckled, shaking his finger at bucky.

“you, my friend, are plenty cool. not sure how much you’re active on social media, bucky, but you’ve got quite the online presence.” the host pointed at you. “and you’re quite prominent on instagram, so i’m sure you’ve seen these.”

the host took out a top hat, with the base up, and you could see the folded slips of paper piled within. “would you do the honor of reading some of these out loud to us?” your face burned as you took the hat, sending the host a fake glare as you shook your head.

“you are so cruel.”

bucky was confused once more. “what is that?”

the host smiled mischievously. “that, my friend, is your online presence.”

you unfolded a slip of paper. “okay, this is a tweet from buckybarnesluver40” and it says,” you cleared your throat for dramatic effect. “all i want for christmas is for bucky barnes to crush me with his thighs,” you choked out as the audience screamed in approval. the camera zoomed in on you and bucky’s identical mortified expressions.

“hilarious! looks like the girlfriend’s not too pleased. another one, please, please!” the host said between laughs.

you reached your hand into the hat once again. “okay, another tweet. this time it’s from supersoldiersfan4life and it says “i would let bucky barnes use his knife on me in bed. i would kill to be-” your mouth dropped open. it was your name. “supersoldiersfan4life wants to be me?” you screeched.

“don’t we all? you two are the cutest. who agrees?” more screams from the crowd. more screams from within your mind. what was going on?

you swallowed hard, mustering up the courage to look over at bucky. he looked like he was receding into himself, his face a bright shade of red. you hoped you didn’t look as obviously flustered.

the host had the good grace to pluck the hat out of your hand, perhaps sensing the discomfort from both of you. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. we’re all dying to know the relationship details, but maybe that’s for another interview. for now, we’d love to know a little bit more about you, bucky. you’re a bit of an enigma.”

you were still reeling as the host asked you how you felt about bucky. “bucky, you’ve just moved into stark tower, haven’t you? can you let us know how he’s settling in? what’s the general vibe around there?”

you hesitate, not sure how to answer. obviously, you couldn’t just tell a live broadcast how much you hated the man, but you were a notoriously horrible liar. luckily, people got a kick out of your bluntness. but now wasn’t the time for that, not when you were here to try and improve bucky’s reputation. “uh, he’s a great guy, you know? i… he made a great first impression.” you didn’t need to look at the screen or bucky to know that his face was twisted into one of great surprise.

it was true, though. when you first met him, you had thought that he’d be an immediate friend. you admired how willing he was to adjust to the social norms of the 21st century, and how respectful he had been when you showed him around the tower and let him peek into your bedroom. you liked how he made eye contact with you and treated you like an equal rather than assuming you were inexperienced and incapable simply because of your age. and though you hated to admit it, you had fallen for his charms and silly jokes for the first few days you knew him—the first few days of friendliness before he decided he couldn’t stand you and before you two started an intense mutual hatred.

“you know, he’s reading all these books about cultural literacy and societal reform, which i really admire. lot of the titles came from my recommendation list, which i gave him within the first few days that we met. i have to say, it really strokes my ego every time i catch him reading the feminist literature i recommended.” the host looked surprised, but delighted. “yeah, it’s wonderful, isn’t it? he’s gone through so much, and yet he’s still so open-minded and willing to adjust to this century, which i imagine must be hard. he really is incredible.” the fondness is evident as you talk about him. you hadn’t even realized, but at some point, your body had turned away from the host and audience and begun looking at him, eyes soft as you spoke directly to the man you despised.

bucky’s eyebrows were furrowed, as if he couldn’t comprehend such kind words being meant for him, much less in front of a live audience, much less coming from you. “no, they’re too kind. they’re lovely but apparently a complete liar, because i am not what they’re making me out to be. trust me, i’m a menace to live with. i make protein shakes at 7:30 in the morning and tony’s blender is loud. you’d think for a billionaire, he’d be able to find some sort of silent one, but the man insists on the industrial-strength model. apparently, it’s the only thing that can properly mix his milkshakes.” the host laughs, as does the audience, and a screen rolls down from behind the two of you.

“we’ve actually got a video of that blender for you all, sent in by none other than the falcon, sam wilson, himself! let’s take a look.”

the video starts and the two of you share a knowing look. your eyebrows are raised and bucky’s eyes are comically wide.

“james buchanan barnes, if you don’t turn off that blender right now, i will shove your hand in there and you can find out just how much protein is in human flesh.” your frustrated voice sounded from offscreen, and as bucky stopped blending and turned around, you came into frame. you donned a pair of falcon pajama bottoms, with redwing patterned all over the navy blue fabric. they were a gift from sam last christmas, and had quickly become a favorite.

“yeah, and what are you gonna do about it, princess?” he crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one foot as you faced him, chest to chest. the camera shook as sam’s muffled laughter layered over your argument.

“motherfucker- i told you not to call me that!”

“you’ve got quite the mouth, haven’t you, love? someone ‘outa shut you up. and look, i’m right here!” he gestured to his body, smirking.

“don’t flatter yourself. i’d rather drink your nasty protein shake before kissing you.”

“now, who said anything about kissing?”

the camera trembled violently and sam’s laughter cut off abruptly as the video ended. you were hiding your face in your hands as bucky looked in the opposite direction of you, body facing the audience and head lowered.

“oh god, you are evil!” you teased the host, trying to salvage your dignity with feigned nonchalance. “we should’ve never agreed to come here.”

bucky twisted around, shaking his fist jokingly as he attempted to salvage just the same. “you’re killing me, man. i’d rather talk about HYDRA than relive these moments.”

the host leaned forward, elbows resting on the wood as the audience’s laughter slowly faded.

“yes, if you’re comfortable discussing your experiences as the winter soldier, we’d love to learn more. it seems like there’s a lot of misinformation and contradicting stories floating around, yes? do you have anything to say about all the hate?”

bucky sighed, scratching the back of his neck before getting comfortable and slinging his arm around the couch, arm brushing your back. “it’s still hard to talk about, especially when people already have their own perceptions of me and the winter soldier. but i want to make it clear, the winter soldier is a completely different person than bucky barnes. we might have shared the same body, but i had no control when the winter soldier was activated. that was all the fault of HYDRA programming and brainwashing. i’m also still learning to forgive myself for my past, but what i’ve been reminding myself is that i’m not a criminal, i’m a survivor of war. i’m still sargent barnes, who fought in WWII and lived through HYDRA kidnapping and experimentation. i guess, in some way, i’m a- a victim. and it’s hard to say that, because there’s a lot of vulnerability in admitting that you were completely powerless in a situation, but i really believe that’s the truth. and i’m hoping other people can see that as the truth as well.”

the crowd was silent, with nothing more than murmurs reaching your ears. the host was solemn. “thank you, bucky. and if it’s any consolation, everyone here in this room supports your recovery and believes in your innocence. i think the world is beginning to come to its senses as well.” you and bucky both smiled, and there was a lift in your heart that you couldn’t quite place.

“and through it all, he’s been a selfless advocate for children with prosthetics just like him.” you added, thinking back to something steve had mentioned a few weeks ago. “he volunteers at a physical therapy center and talks to the kids there; says he doesn’t need any money or credit for it, and that helping a kid out of the darkness that comes with losing a limb is enough payment for him.” you looked at him, biting your lip as it began to tremble. why were you so emotional? you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to cry on live television.

“that’s incredible, bucky. you really don’t give yourself enough credit for all the amazing work you’ve been doing.” the host nodded gratefully at bucky, and from the audience was a shout.

“we love you, bucky barnes!” the rest of the audience burst into laughter, as did the host. you gave bucky a watery smile, and he returned it with a gentle look of his own, lips curling ever so slightly.

“on that heartfelt note, we’re unfortunately out of time, so please give it up for our two avengers!” you and bucky waved as you shuffled off stage, desperate to get away from the cameras to comprehend what had just happened.

“what the fuck was that?” you whisper-shouted, looking at bucky with something akin to terror.

“i have no idea,” he hissed, eyes darting around the hall. the two of you walked hastily, hoping to escape the studio before paparazzi and fans could cage you in. “did you tell people we were together?”

“me? why would i do that? i would never date you. that’s totally ridiculous,” you sputtered, face flushing. you would never hold his hand unless you absolutely had to, just like today, when you had to calm him down because you would be completely embarrassed if you had to do an interview with a nervous bucky barnes. it would’ve been completely distracting, having to sit next to him where he did that self-soothing thing with his hands, and then you would have had to grab his hands in front of everyone to stop him, which would’ve been even more embarrassing.

“are you blushing? ew.” he picked up his pace and you jogged to catch up with him. the two of you were nearly at the exit, and you realized that if you let him get away, you’d never be able to finish the conversation. he’d just ignore you until you inevitably got into another fight, as it always went.

“why are you so horrible?” you asserted, a little hurt at the jab which seemingly came out of nowhere. “i just did you a huge favor! do you think i wanted to do this interview with you and get completely humiliated in front of an audience? why do you have to be so crabby all the time?”

“humiliated? is it so humiliating to be seen with me?” he spat, spinning around and stopping in place. he grabbed ahold of your forearms to stop you from crashing into him. his hands, warm and calloused, pressed into your skin and grounded you. “everyone loves you, you’re such a perfect princess, aren’t you? you don’t want to be associated with the winter soldier, is that it? you’re so obsessed with what people think of you that you can’t even bear the thought that, god forbid, you’re dating me? and everyone’s telling me i deserve love and i’m trying, holy shit, i’m trying so hard to believe that. but it always comes back to you—you treat me like shit and now i see it. you still think of me as a murderer, don’t you? the idea of loving me is so outrageous that you couldn’t even look at me during that video. and you’re cruel, you know that? you’re cruel to look me in the eyes as you lie through your teeth, saying all these- these things about me when we both know they couldn’t be further from the truth. you just have to rub it in, don’t you? isn’t it enough that the world hates me? you just have to take it a step further, telling everyone all the things i do in private and then shoving it in my face that all of that kindness is just an act for the cameras!”

you wanted to yell at him for being self-deprecating, but his accusation of your character had pushed you over the edge. “goddamn it, barnes! you think the world revolves around you, don’t you? everything’s about you and the fucking winter soldier, and yeah, i get it, you went through shit! but don’t you dare attack my character when i have done nothing but try and be nice to you! do you remember when you came to the tower for the first time? i tried to be your friend until you decided one day that you were going to hate me for no reason—did you expect me to just shut up and take it? you don’t get to treat me like shit and then get mad at me for retaliating. you know, when steve asked me to do this, my immediate response was no. but even through all of this,” you waved your hand between the two of you, voice hoarse from the yelling. “i still care about you.”

“you care about me?” bucky’s voice was small, and his fingers pressed harder into your forearms. you winced, not being able to stand the super soldier’s strength any longer. his face fell as soon as he saw your expression of pain, dropping your arms immediately and backing up.

“i- look,” he started. you put your hand in the air.

“you know what? save it. yes, bucky, i care about your wellbeing because i respect you. and for a moment, i thought you might’ve respected me too-”

“i do respect you, it’s just-”

“shut up! you treat me like my existence offends you, and if you can still find a reason to hate me after me doing this interview and saying those things about you and trying to help you, then i give up. you think so lowly of me that you can find it in yourself to accuse me of all this and that’s only proof that you have no respect for me. and if that’s the way you want to play it, fine. i don’t care about people who can’t even treat me with decency.” you spat, furious.

you yanked the door open, storming out. your initial plan to avoid the crowd was out the window; fans swarmed you and cameras flashed as you shoved your way through the horde, not caring about your usual reputation for kindness towards your admirers.

bucky was hot on your tail, and you could hear his loud footsteps as he tried to catch up with you. he’d screwed up bad this time, hadn’t he? he’d screwed up your entire relationship and any possibility of neutrality since the beginning—you hadn’t done anything. it had been entirely his fault, and he’d been too childish to make amends. but he’d crossed the line today, and he knew it. he cursed himself, knowing he’d most likely lost you forever. all that bickering the two of you had? that’d be gone too. from now on, you probably wouldn’t even waste a breath on him. he was going to be nothing to you, but that was assuming he ever meant anything to you at all.

“wait, please,” he called. he could’ve easily caught up to you and pinned you against a wall to force you to talk to him, or pinned you against a wall and finally get a good look at your face and maybe even catch another sight of the smiles you had gifted him with back when you were on that loveseat and before he had fucked everything up. but he knew you’d hate that. he knew you’d hate him for taking away your autonomy, for ignoring your decision to leave, and for abusing his super-soldier status to get what he wanted from you.

“please, i’m sorry, just let me talk to you,” he pleaded, voice cracking with desperation. this was it. you were never going to talk to him again. he hated you, he really did, but he was not going to let one stupid comment ruin everything between you two. he was dumb and stubborn and full of himself, and you deserved nothing that he had done to you, but if you were going to ignore him for the rest of your lives—which he prayed would not be the ultimate outcome—he needed you to know that you hadn’t done anything wrong. he owed that to you, at least.

he lost you at the tower. you had gotten to the elevator before he had even stepped foot in the building, and he sprinted up the stairs, hoping to catch you before you left. he practically flung himself into the kitchen, knowing the first person you’d go to would be sam, who had been living on the couch recently, binge-watching toddlers and tiaras.

“woah, bucko, whatcha up to there?”

“i need to see-” he panted, looking around for you frantically.

“ah, i see. finally ready to confess your love for them, aren’t you?”

bucky paused. he stopped and he thought. he really thought this time, his face scrunched in concentration. he looked at sam incredulously.

“i- something like that, actually.” the two men both were both shocked into silence.

“uh, right! okay. they’re, um, in their room. not looking too great.” sam stared at bucky, eyes bugging. “good luck? i mean, i just- okay. Yeah.”

bucky pursed his lips, giving sam a curt nod before gathering the strength to make his way to your room. his heart was in his throat, and he thought there was a good chance that the moment he saw you, it would jump right out of his throat and land on the floor at your feet. now that would be humiliating. and it would also kill him too, but maybe that was a good thing because it meant he wouldn’t be alive to face you again.

his fist hesitated in the air as he stood by your doorway. he was sure you were aware of his presence; he wasn’t exactly a light treader. he knocked, holding his breath.

“fuck off, barnes.”

“i can’t. i have to talk to you.”

“you don’t have the right to demand anything from me. go away.”

“i can’t, i ha- you don’t have to talk to me, but please, can you just listen?”

bucky didn’t hear anything from your side of the room, which he took to be affirmative. “i- i’m sorry. i’ve been an asshole.”

you snorted mirthlessly, and he could imagine the look of repulse on your face. “to put it lightly,” you sneered.

“yeah, i know, and it’s not your fault, you know. you can hate me all you want from now on, and i deserve it. i know i deserve it, and i’m not going to try and change your mind. i just need to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. me hating you, i mean. i mean, i guess i never really hated you, it was just that, i guess-” he sighed, thoughts racing too fast to be able to articulate. “i can’t speak. you drive me insane, and i-”

“gee, thanks, barnes. way to apologize.”

“no! i don’t mean it like that, i just- i’m so sorry, please just, can you let me in? i can’t do this from outside. i know you said i didn’t respect you, but that’s not true. i respect you, and that’s why i want to say this to your face. please.”

bucky heard shuffling from behind the door. it swung open. there you were, looking small and defeated, as he towered over you like some absolute jerk. he shrunk himself, wishing for once that he could be smaller. he observed your face like he had wished he could earlier. your eyes were red-rimmed—had you been crying? you were sniffling softly, rubbing your nose. there was a tissue box on the bed and a few used bundles scattered around the floor. a thin blanket, too, was crumpled and lying on the ground. his heart broke. he stood by the doorframe, not sure what to do. you motioned to the bed, taking a seat on it yourself. the mattress sank as he placed himself a good distance away from you, but still, he turned and forced himself to look into your eyes.

“i didn’t know what to do when i first met you,” he rushed, the words flooding out of his mouth quicker than he could process them. “you were so kind to me. too kind. i didn’t think i deserved it, and i was terrified. you were… perfect. steve, my best friend, he adored you. i saw you two together all the time, and you made him laugh like i used to do. and after all steve did for me, all i could do was recluse myself in my room and give him one-word answers. steve didn’t know what to do, and as much as he tried, i could tell that he was growing tired. he’s got a lot going on, and i don’t blame him for not wanting to babysit all the time. but you were there, and you didn’t even treat me like a pity case. you weren’t some babysitter, you were my friend. my only friend, probably.” he looked at his lap, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“um, i really appreciated that. i don’t think i’d had such a connection to anyone since the 40s. since steve and i met. and-” he covered his face with his hands. “this is so embarrassing, i’m- i’m sorry. i think i liked being around you… too much. and i was, well, me. and you were there, like some angel, making my life better, no, making everyone’s lives better, and i was this weight taking up all your time. and i knew that i’d be lucky if you ever even considered me a friend. i’d be lucky if you could even tolerate all my problems for more than a few weeks, so i never pushed it.”

you opened your mouth to speak, but bucky waved his hands furiously, finally meeting your eyes.

“please, just let me finish. and you can say whatever you want after.” your mouth shut, as did your eyes, as you tried to follow his words. “and you know sam and i have our own thing going on,” bucky laughed bitterly. “he didn’t trust me at first. still tries to get on my nerves now. we respect each other, of course, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a little shit. sorry.” he shot you what you thought was an apologetic look, maybe because he knew you and sam were close.

“he was cold to me at first, and i couldn’t handle it. it was like being back there, having everyone talk to me in clipped tones as if i wasn’t there. there were some days where he wouldn’t address me at all. i don’t blame him, i guess. tony was suspicious too. you guys gave me so much more than i deserved. but with you, he was like a completely different person. you guys are so close, you know? you guys are like how steve and i used to be, before i came back all fucked up. i don’t think steve and i will ever have what we used to have, or will ever have what you and sam have. and i think- i think i was… jealous. it wasn’t just because i wanted my friendship with steve back, but because i wanted a friendship with you. no, that’s not it at all. i’m sorry, this isn’t easy for me—feelings, i mean—i’m trying, i’m trying for you. i wanted something else, something more with you. because i really liked you, and it took seeing you and sam together to realize that. i had thought you two were together-together; you were so close. and i hated myself for feeling that way towards sam’s girl, because as much as i couldn’t stand him, i couldn’t do that to you. even if i told you, it wouldn’t have changed how you felt. at that point, it was too late. i thought you were already his.

“i couldn’t burden you with my feelings, you know? i couldn’t drag you into my mess. so i tried to ignore it, and it didn’t work, because you’re fucking magnetic. you were all i could think about, and i was such a mess for you, and even then, you didn’t care. i was so incapacitated around you,” he sighed, remembering all the times he had embarrassed himself trying to compose himself around you. “and you never noticed. you never looked my way, did you? it was always about sam. i was like some second thought—not that it was your fault. i barged into your life and took up all your time and you still treated me with such kindness and i started to resent you for it. you couldn’t love me, not when you had sam, but you still had me wrapped around your finger and i’d never felt this way before so i panicked. i panicked and retreated to something familiar, which was hate. i decided i hated you.

“so… well, you know the rest. i was so stupid; you made me so nervous and i blamed it on frustration, and you made me feel and i blamed it on anger. it was torture, having to hate you. but if i wasn’t hating you then i’d have to cope with how much i liked you, and that was worse. i’d take whatever i could have, and if that meant having you yell at me and poke my chest and take my breath away, i’d have to be satisfied. but today, you said all those things about me. you ruined all that progress i had made, trying to hate you. it ruined me, all over again. and did you mean them? did you mean them, because if you didn’t i wouldn’t blame you. but i just have to know.”

“i meant every word,” you breathed, so quietly that you were afraid bucky wouldn’t hear. he did, and instead of relief, a look of devastation washed over his face.

“i can’t- you can’t just say those things. this whole time, i thought you loved sam. and i thought i never even had a chance because it didn’t matter how much i loved you when your heart belonged to somebody else. and sam told me you aren’t together, and it doesn’t even matter anymore, because i still don’t have a chance with you, or even a chance of forgiveness; i don’t deserve it—not after everything i’ve done to you.”

you’re sniveling, wiping your eyes with the edge of your sleeve. bucky’s got tears running down his cheeks, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him since he had first come to the tower and had let you comfort him after he woke up from his nightmares. you hadn’t seen any other emotion from him but hatred since then.

“bucky…” you can’t control your arm as it reaches for his face. your hand cups his chin, stubble rubbing against your palm as he closes his eyes and savors the feeling of your skin on his, knowing it’s more than he deserves. your thumb wipes away the tears as they trickle from his closed eyes; they flutter as your fingers move across his skin, sensitive from the emotion. there’s a tear that’s fallen into the corner of his mouth, and you run your finger over his lip to brush it away. he sighs, and the warmth of his breath sends a shiver down your spine. you’re buzzing with adrenaline.

“bucky, you are such an idiot!” he flinches, looking guilty, and you lower your voice. “no, i don’t mean it like that,” you soothe. “why didn’t you just- do you really mean what you said? that you thought you were a burden? and back there, at the studio, did you really think that i would be so horrified at the idea of loving you? because you’re wrong, bucky, if you think that’s how i feel—god, you’re so stupid and you’re so wrong.” you sniffle, running your hands through your hair. “if you had just told me…”

“i know, i know, and i’m so sorry.” he’s trembling now, sounding on the verge of tears, and you think he might combust with the violence of which his hands are shaking. you take his hands in yours, stopping him from doing the wringing he always does.

“bucky,” you whisper again. it’s the only thing you can think to say before throwing yourself into him, your arms wrapping around his broad back with your hands unable to touch. you use the opportunity to run them up and down his back, your head finding a home in the crook of his shoulder as you try not to ruin his shirt with your tears. one of his arms wraps around yours tentatively, as if he’s afraid to touch you. you bury yourself deeper into him, one hand clutching the fabric of his shirt as if you’re scared he’s going to run away.

“bucky, please don’t leave me,” you whimper, your lips brushing against his neck. that does it for him, and he finally wraps both arms around you and lifts you up until you’re seated on his lap. his feet touch the floor as he’s seated at the edge of your bed, and your legs wrap around him as you face the opposite direction, clinging onto him koala-like.

“i’m never leaving you. i’m never leaving you,” he mutters, and you’re not sure if he’s saying it to you or to himself. “you’re here. i’m here.”

“all i wanted was for you to stay,” you confessed. “and then you left me, and then you hated me, and how was i supposed to cope? i thought i had done something horrible but i couldn’t figure out what, and still, you were so kind to wanda and so cheerful with clint and even opening up to natasha and it was like those first weeks of us being together never happened.” you pulled yourself away from his shoulder to look him in the eye.

“i- i didn’t know.”

“obviously.”

the two of you were silent for a bit, trying to read each others’ eyes, both of which were puffy and red. bucky’s face was in its usual furrow, the line between his eyebrows deep. you smoothed it out with your finger. “your worry wrinkle,” you laughed wetly. he cracked a smile.

“the one thing i didn’t miss was you calling it that.”

“you missed me? ha. softie.”

the two of you breathed in silence, faces inches from each other. his eyelids fluttered, and it was as if you could feel the ghost of his eyelashes tickling your warm cheeks. you could smell the man you had been missing—smoke, cedar, and spice. you refrained from burying your head in his chest and just drowning in the scent of his cologne.

your eyes fell, looking at your thighs wrapped around his hips and watching his chest rise and fall like a metronome, his breaths finally slowing alongside his heart. “i never hated you, you know. i’m pretty sure i made that clear today. at least, i hope i did.” you sighed, still not meeting his eyes. “i hated the fact that you hated me. i guess i wasn’t used to that. i mean, you’re right. i really do want everyone to like me,” you pursed your lips. “and i know that’s unrealistic. but i liked you a lot, bucky, and i thought at first that we could be good friends. so when things started breaking down, i guess i jumped to the conclusion that you just irrationally had it out for me, and i never stopped to ask you why. and i’m sorry too.” you swallowed thickly, realizing how much anger could’ve been avoided these past few months if the two of you had just pushed aside your egos and communicated.

“look at me, please.” bucky cupped your chin with his hand, lifting your face without much force to let you be in control until you finally met his eye. “hey, it’s- we’re gonna be okay.”

“you said you loved me,” you blurted. “earlier.”

“uh, yeah. i did say that.” you were so used to bucky deflecting from his feelings that his admittance made you laugh. oh yes, you laughed. the bashfulness on the 6-foot-something, genetically enhanced, burly, brooding super soldier’s face was enough to break the stoicism of your conversation.

“you love me!” you giggled. “i’m so sorry, i’m not laughing at you. no, i swear, i’m so- this isn’t me mocking you, i-” you gasped for air as the sentiment finally set in. “buck, you love me?”

“yeah, doll, i do. is… is that okay?”

“yeah, bucky, it is.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

masterlist

#bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x gn!reader #bucky barnes self insert #marvel self insert #marvel imagine #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky and reader #enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers fic #bucky barnes enemies to lovers

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akariamai · 1 year

Text

Familiar [Part 1]

Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x immortal!reader

Word Count: 1238

You watched the world you’d always known become public knowledge. It was laughable in which the US government feeds their citizens lies, lies that the enhanced individuals are a new construct, lies that they only started to appear in the age of heroes. Enhanced individuals have always existed. They always walked among the non enhanced. The only difference is more dangers have bubbled onto the surface and now they’re trying to save face.

Steve Rogers might’ve been the world’s first superhero but he was not the first enhanced individual. He was made into one and celebrated for it. Acting as a poster boy for the US government to recruit young men with a romanticized version of war. Those who were born enhanced were often murdered, caught, or experimented on. The history of the lost to never see a glimpse of light.

You had known Steve once upon a time. Your paths crossed whenever you found yourself in New York. You heard him getting beat up in the alley next to the theater being saved by his friend, Bucky Barnes. It was a rather lackluster moment and you had no idea how important to history they both would become. He was but a boy back then, wanting to be a hero but limited by his body.

Throughout years of torture and experiments by the government, you readily escaped and made a life for yourself. Hidden away from the government and living in isolation. At times, you would gather enough courage to leave your safe haven and explore the ever changing world around you.

Money makes the world go round and round. At least, that’s what those in control want the population to comprehend and accept. You had seen the value of money diminish and the cost of necessities increase unjustifiably. The concept itself is of greed as no person should have to justify their worth with the amount of cash in your bank. You had lived through the rise and fall of empires, the extinction of a plethora of animals and insects, and witnessed the destruction in the wake of greed for money.

As money had never been an issue for you, you’d donate religiously to charities in feeding and sheltering the homeless in various parts of the world, created multiple scholarships for students to get free-rides to their dream schools, funded research centers and other organizations. You had far too much money for just an individual.

Once you explored the world for what it had to offer, you became bored. Traveling was once exciting but the thrill dissipated. You now occupy your time reading books, mindlessly scrolling on social media, watching television, and other niche hobbies. You had so much time to do everything you’d ever wanted and search for the answers to questions that remained unanswered.

You found yourself in a decent routine to keep yourself from going insane. It might’ve been considered boring to the average person but you had done so much in your life, any downtime was welcomed with open arms and a bottle of whiskey.

“Do you think they’re here?” Hushed voices whispered in the distance. The forest creatures that usually surround your home remain quiet, not knowing what to think about the strangers walking through their forest. They had become familiar to you but were still wary of humans.

“Well-kept house in the middle of nowhere and Red Wing picking up one heat signature would suggest so.” It was another voice. A voice you knew you heard before. It was a voice from the TV. You’d realized the voice belonged to Sam Wilson, an apparent pararescue who fought with the Avengers to save the world. You didn’t know if he was considered to be an Avenger though. After the whole debacle with the Sokovia Accords, the breaking up of the Avengers, and the fight with Thanos, the question of the status of the group has been unclear.

“You’d think they know we’re here?” The voices became louder as they inched closer to her safe haven. You wanted them out. To leave you alone with your thoughts. You didn’t want strangers to mess up what you had built for yourself. They needed to leave.

You recognized the other voice as well. It belonged to an old acquaintance. He flirted with you after he saved his friend, Steve, from being beaten in an alleyway. It seemed like such a natural occurrence but hearing him now was a bit surreal. He probably wouldn’t recognize you after all he’s been through. You remember when he was falsely blamed for the bombing of the Vienna Bombing. Sloppy work for someone’s who’s identity remained hidden for so long, only whispers of the nickname Hydra had given him. Idiots. You thought bitterly. Bucky was such a kind man turned into a mindless weapon. You wished he would have lived a long and beautiful life without the violence or suffering that he so rightfully deserves.

He sighed, annoyed by the questions, “Yes. They’re probably aware of our presence. [Reader] we know you're in there. We just want to talk.” You didn’t listen. You couldn’t move. No one was supposed to know your name. You’d messed up sometime during the rise of technology, you assumed. It was easier to go under the radar before technology developed and expanded to the point where your face could be caught on camera.

Your mind began to race as they made it to your porch and knocked gently. You couldn’t outrun a supersoldier. Your powers only consisted of immortality which you found to be rather lonely and painful. You slowly crept to the door, your arm uncontrollably shaking as you reached to open it. You were opening the door of uncertainty and allowing the outside world to enter. “What do you want?” It was the question that echoed underneath your breath.

Sam gave you a gentle simple, “I’m Sam Wilson and this is my associate Bucky Barnes.” He gestured to his companion. “We don’t mean to intrude but we have a couple of questions only you would be able to answer.” Bucky stared long and hard at your face. His eyebrows scrunching together as he tried to pinpoint why you were so familiar. “We have evidence to suggest that the soldier serum was recreated. Since you have been alive for a decent amount of time, have you heard of anything that’ll be able to help us?”

Of course you had heard of multiple instances of scientists, from all around the world, desperately searching for the answer to recreate the super soldier serum. Many had failed leaving a trail of dead bodies of unwilling victims.

“You should check with your own government.” You bluntly replied. The American government had tried to keep the experiments of their own soldiers a secret but people talk. Guilt overcomes silence. While the media caught smoke of what happened behind closed doors, drunken secrets were spilled for all to listen and you listened. “I know they tried… relentlessly.”

“You look familiar.” Bucky’s voice rang, catching the attention of both Sam and you.

Sam gave him a questioning look before observing your reaction. It was neutral. No confusion or alarm emerged in your facial expression. You look straight into Bucky’s eyes, seeing the window of his broken soul trying to mend itself piece by piece, “I’m pretty sure we've never met.” The lie slipped so smoothly that neither of them caught it.

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cosmos-coma · 1 year

Text

Metal's Delicate Touch - Part 1

A/N: Hello! I'm branching out into another Fandom! Likely its just gonna be for this one character, but I'm excited to share another character I'm passionate about!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Blood and injury (Nothing terrible), Hurt reader, Reader gets mugged, I think that's all? let me know if I missed.

Summary: Bucky saves you from a mugging gone bad and is instantly pulled in by your warmth and compassion

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A roughened hand clamped itself over your mouth as grubby fingers rifled through your pockets.“When I asked you to stop, you really should have just stopped, sweetheart.” Your mugger spat as his number two pocketed everything you had on you.

These two men had followed you around the market for a while then towards your shitty little hostel. Eventually, they called out for you, chasing and cornering you in a blocked-off alley after you tried to run.

You had made to scream out for help, but your mugger immediately pulled out a gun from his heavy jacket, fitted with a silencer and everything.

They were not messing around.

As you struggled against the hands of your assailants you spotted a man walking past the occupied alley. His shoulders were broad and strong, evident even through his leather jacket. His shoulder-length hair and his baseball cap covered most of his profile, which was pulled down low in an obvious show of ‘don’t fucking talk to me’.

But you had no choice.

You bit down hard on the hand covering your mouth, blood instantly hitting your tongue. You did your best not to gag on the vile taste and screamed as soon as the hand pulled away. “Help me! Please! Hel-” and you were cut off as his hand clamped over your mouth once again.

“You little fucking bitch-” He seethed, pressing the gun against your thigh and pulling the trigger, the sound cushioned by both the silencer and your soft flesh that even you barely heard it over your heartbeat. Though muffled by his hand, your scream strained your throat with all its ferocity and pain. Tears welled in your eyes as your brain swam with newly radiating pain, but your eyes still searched for the man in the baseball hat.

You struggled to keep your bleary eyes open and your heart fell when you no longer saw him. Did he leave? Did he even hear you?

Heavy tears fell as your eyes screwed shut and another wave of pain like malevolent electricity ran through your limbs as you tried to shift your weight under their grasp.

“Hey-” Was all you heard your mugger say as his weight was thrown away from you. A resounding THUD bounced off the walls as his body did just the same. Brick bit against your skin as you slid along the wall to the ground, your single good leg no longer having the energy to support you.

More thuds and grunts came from the space before you and as you peeked open your eyes you saw the man in a baseball cap beating the shit out of your assailants. His punches were sharp and skilled, and his entire demeanor seemed glazed over as he got lost in the blood and grunts.

“That’s enough..! That's fine..!” you yelled, not wanting to see their deaths, and his whole disposition changed in an instant. His square shoulders softened at the edges and his fists loosened as he turned to face you. You had never seen two men run so fast as your muggers did when they saw him distracted, turning their bruised and bloody tails as they ran.

His face was mostly shadowed as he scooped up your stolen items, though his eyes just shone through the darkness, promising the most striking gaze you had ever seen.

He extended a hand to you wordlessly as he approached, an invitation for his further help and you were glad to take it.

You griped his hand tight and started pulling yourself to your feet, “Thank you so much, I- Ah..! Fuck, Fuck hold on…” you loosened your grip on his hand, dropping back to the ground. Your hands instantly went to your leg wound, feeling the hot blood that had seeped out as you strained to stand.

“I- I don’t think I can stand on my own. I’m sorry, um… I’ll figure something out.” You glanced at your surroundings, trying desperately to come up with a good solution. Your knight in a baseball cap watched you quietly for a moment before he reached down to you again, both arms this time as he effortlessly scooped you up bridal style.

“Oh..!” you gasped in surprise but held tight to him with your arms around his neck. “Thank you… You can just drop me at any hospital and I’ll greatly appreciate it. I don’t wanna be a bother,” you offered. His grip on you tightened as you suggested he dropped you off, as you suggested that he leave you.

He couldn't put a word on exactly what it was that made his stomach lurch at the thought of dropping you off with a bunch of strangers. Strangers who would undoubtedly hurt you and ruin the fine but subtle scent you gave off. It was your scent of damp moss and sweet gardenias which made his heart feel a softness he feels he knew only in another lifetime.

Your slight wince drew him out of his deep well of thought and he quickly loosened the grip of his ungloved hand which was squeezing far too close to your open wound.

Despite his prominent objections, you could only get a low grunt out of him as he shook his head and continued his steadfast journey. “Can I at least know where we’re going then?” you asked, being met with even less of a reply.

The journey was quiet as he carried you to an old apartment building, your arms resting comfortably around his neck as he carried you up the winding stairwell and into a small apartment.

It was rather bare for the most part, with only the necessities and no items to show comfort or leisure- only survival. Your eyes bounced around from object to object, a book or two, simple cookware, and a couple of small guns. The last of which should have given you more pause, but you figure if he wanted you dead, he’d have left the other guys do it- so it must be for protection.

“Do you have a name? I’m not really fond of joining men in their apartments without at least knowing their name first.” You mused as he set you down on the all-too-firm bed, the faintest wince of discomfort as the foreign object in your leg moved with you.

At first, you weren't sure if he heard you as his attention immediately became consumed by searching around the apartment. You waited a few moments before you asked again. “I’d rather not just call you ‘handsome stranger’ for the rest of our time.” you laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the intense mood that seemed to cling to this man no matter what. “Is there something I can call you-”

“They...” his first hints at a spoken word had you immediately silenced, desperate to hear if his voice matched the brooding exterior he put off. He came back with a white box, setting it down beside you before he pulled his hat off. His blue eyes were just as striking as promised and searched your face for something neither of you could name.

“They… They called me James once.” his voice rumbled out, raspy and quiet from its limited use. The vibrations of his husky voice put you at ease, despite his intense stare which you found yourself quickly growing accustomed to.

A small smile grew on your face as you introduced yourself, “Well thank you for saving my life, James.” Something drew you to reach out for him, just for the lightest touch, the gentlest graze- but when his whole body flinched back you quickly withdrew your hand. “I’m sorry, I-”

“No.” He quickly interjected, those vibrant blues locking with your eyes, “Don’t apologize.”His weight shifted a bit- as if he was trying to hold everything in in your presence.

“And don't thank me yet-” He started as he opened up the white box, only now noticing that one of his hands was hidden away in a leather glove. Medical tweezers, alcohol pads, stitches- almost every possible at-home medical instrument you could think of was stocked into this kit. “-the bullet still needs to come out.”

Oh fuck. You had almost let yourself forget about the bullet still lodged in your leg and the blood that still slowly seeped out over your pants. “Fuck… okay.” you nodded, understanding exactly what he needed from you.

His eyes watched with a growing hunger that he quickly fought down as you tried to shimmy out of your pants- eventually resorting to asking him for help. A buzz ran over his skin as he made that first contact- calloused fingertips pressing against the supple skin of your upper thighs and dragging slowly down the length of your legs.

With little hesitance, he knelt down between your spread legs, his shoulder to you as he lined himself up for the best angle. His gloved hand gripped behind your knee to hold you in place and inadvertently sent a jolt straight to your core.

‘Not now’ you shunned your body.

“Bite this.” He instructed and handed you the cap he had just been wearing.

“What’s this fo-AH!” You yelped out, immediately bitting down on the brim of the hat, as the long medical tweezers he had dug around your flesh for the bullet in question. You did your best to keep quiet, not wanting to alert the neighbors but it was hard.

Your whimpers echoed around the room to him, bouncing from the wall to his ears in an endless pained cycle. “James, wait- please… I need a break,” you begged as your hands, tense and desperate for something to hold, naturally found their place in his hair.

You didn’t have the mind about you to notice the way he flinched when your fingers touched him, nor the way he softened soon after he realized how gentle you were still trying to be. Even with your immense pain you didn’t jerk his head back or dig your nails into his scalp- no, you tugged and clenched your fingers around his long hair, but still never had the heart to hurt him.

Practiced hands eventually pulled the crushed metal out with a disgusting squelch. A relieved and breathy sigh passed by your parted lips as it was finally done and your hands came away from him.

“Good girl…” he spoke it quietly, just enough for you to hear and for it to stop your heart for what felt like minutes, stirring you once again. He took surprising care and delicacy as he continued to clean and wrap your leg until you were fully taken care of.

With a grunt you carefully rose to your feet, hobbling around the apartment as you tested out your leg- you could barely put any weight on it, but it would do for now. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough… “ you said as you watched him pack everything away again.

“Well, you could… stay?” His voice came quietly as if he was almost ashamed to ask you for so much, but he needed this- needed you. “At least until your leg is healed…” he urged, hoping you’d at least agree to baby steps with him.

“I…” you started, searching his face carefully, trying to read each and every crease, though you were no expert- not like he was. However, what you did catch was the evident yearning. Innocent and true, the way a child yearns for their crush to sit next to them at lunch. It was a look behind his eyes that said ‘I can’t be alone now that I’ve found you’.

You could use the help as you healed… and your hostel was far worse than this. Something about the firm but gentle way he held you surrounded you with a sense of safety you’d rather not give up so easily. Not to mention those handsome eyes that made your heart flutter in your chest.

“I’ll stay” you nodded, smiling a bit at the way his lips just curled up at the ends, the most emotion you had seen from him yet.

He didn’t let you hobble for very long before he was urging you to sit down and rest. You obliged but still did your best to stay close, sitting on the counter as dinner was made and stealing bites here and there. You smiled at the way he relentlessly shooed you away each time, eventually resorting to gently thwapping your hand with the sauce-laden spoon.

His smile grew as you licked the sauce off your hand and hummed along to the jovial beat the radio sang, your fingers still searching for more bites to steal. Your warmth seemed to light up the entire room as you simply existed beside him and he could feel even the shadiest corners of himself become a little easier to look into.

After dinner, your body was begging you to sleep after its incredibly long say and you weren’t one to deny it. Instantly you were out like a light, Your sleeping form sprawled out on your side of the thin mattress.

Bucky watched your chest rise and fall evenly as you let out slow puffs of breath. Your shirt had ridden up to expose your soft belly and the gentle curve of your hips. Your underwear was the only true cover your lower half had, the bandages having bunched and protested as you tried to re-dress.

He knelt beside you, eyes transfixed on the little signs of life you gave out. The breaths, the tiny movements against the sheets, and the steady beat of your heart all came together to form a melody unlike that of any other.

He peeled off the glove from his metal hand and reached out slowly, hesitantly, until his fingers just barely grazed your lower stomach. You let out a short quick gasp as the cold metal made itself known on your skin, causing him to instantly flinch backward.

When you settled and didn’t stir any further he knew it was safe to go in again. His touch was a little more confident as he ran his fingers from stomach to hip, loving the way your soft flesh bowed to his touch.

His heart swelled in his chest as you let out a gentle huff, your hand coming to rest over his as you shifted in your sleep. Racing heartbeats rushed passed his ears, the only sensation he could take in besides the sleepy expression on your lips. Patiently he worked his way out of your grip, making sure not to disturb your sleep.

And with that, a sense of purpose returned to him that day- a lifelong mission if you will- to ensure you would never lose such peace again.

_____________________

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