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#haikyuu x reader crack
starjaeyun · 1 month
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gatekeeper — tsukishima kei !
— tsukishima assures that he is not embarrassed of dating you, you think otherwise
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warning/s : fem! reader, misunderstanding 😁 & a small fight at the beginning, profane language, tinsy bit of angst, fluff & crack from the second half ‘til it ends
note : had this little idea while writing a kageyama drabble so they might be quite similar
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“just give up already”
y/n’s tip-toeing came to a stop. seriously? this was the 4th time this week! with an annoyed groan, she turns around, fists clenched, brows furrowed, and it looks as though a tick mark was formed on her forehead. behind her stood her oh so loving boyfriend, tsukishima kei, who somehow always catches her trying to sneak in the volleyball gym.
“oh c’mon kei! why won’t you let me watch your practice?!” tsukishima sighed, “we’ve talked about this” he grumbled, why does she have to be so stubborn?
“don’t talk like those romanticized, toxic boyfriends on wattpad!” y/n hits his arm, which barely does any damage to him, “and don’t act like them as well!”
tsukishima raises a hand to fix his glasses, “are you saying i’m toxic?”
“i never said that! i just said don’t talk and act like—”
“so you’re implying it?”
“well, you’re going to be if you carry on with that bullshit!” tsukishima grows silent and stares at y/n, who had seemed to be reaching the highest point of her annoyed meter, which would then slowly escalate into anger.
after a few seconds of silence, he spoke, “take these, don’t wait for me and go home. cool your head” in each of his hands were his hoodie and an umbrella, which he brought with him on the way to the gym incase it might rain before they’re able to go back to the locker rooms. with y/n giving no sign of taking it, he placed it on her foot and carried on walking past her.
“i don’t understand you” tsukishima comes to a halt, looking back almost immediately upon noticing y/n’s change of tone. crap, was i too harsh?
“why are you acting like that if you’re embarrassed of me?” he couldn’t tell whether she’s sad or angry.
“acting? acting like what? and what do you mean embarrassed?!” his tone immediately gave away his nervousness.
“in school or when you’re with someone else, you avoid and act like you don’t know me but when we’re alone, suddenly you’re taking care of me! make it clear whether you love me or not to save both our time because i am not about to start losing myself for a boy who can’t love me the way i deserve!” it’s clear that she wanted to say more so tsukishima stayed silent. “if you’re going to love me, at least be honest with me! am i embarrassing or not?!”
“of course not!”
“then why?!” it was a miracle that y/n was not crying nor shouting at the moment.
tsukishima fully turns his body this time, “what’s embarrassing is my explanation…” and the mood suddenly lightens.
“TSUKISHIMA, YOU BASTARD!” tanaka and nishinoya’s yelling made tsukishima sigh.
“you call me selfish but keep shimizu-senpai’s sister all to yourself” kageyama grumbles
tsukishima stands still. hands clasped together behind his back and head bowed down. he looks like a child getting a scolding, or how the the freak duo looks whenever daichi catches their slip ups.
nishinoya and tanaka kneels in front of the first year. head bowed down as if they were praising him, and that they are.
“on this day, we honor you. congratulations on getting a shimizu!” they say in unison.
“you’re overreacting” tsukishima simply says.
“nope, i, too, would congratulate you tsukki. no offense, but you’re not exactly the ideal boyfriend” yamaguchi says with a finger under his chin.
“mhm! so you better treat her right tsukishima! she’s like our little sister” sugawara’s smile does not look comforting at all.
“call me if you need help in buying gifts!” daichi volunteers happily.
“and me if you need advice!” asahi adds.
“why are you guys taking my job?” shimizu comments while giggling. “but, i do think that tsukishima is just right for my little sister” she turns to look at her sister who was now playing around with kageyama and hinata, “she’s as chaotic as those two, he’ll be able to handle her. so i trust that i won’t have to worry much?”
“of course” tsukishima didn’t seem like himself at the moment. his eyes seemed to have soften at the sight of his girlfriend. he smiled, though not too obvious.
“why are you smiling like a male lead in a drama?” tanaka teased. and though tsukishima hates expressing his emotions to his teammates, he certainly loves poking their annoyance scale, “because this is what it’s like to love and be loved”
“Why are you making it seem like kiyoko does not love me back! she does love me! right? right?” tanaka gave kiyoko hopeful eyes and received no response aside from her turning around.
“I’m not talking about platonic love”
“WHY YOU—“
“KEI!” apparently, while he successfully annoyed the second year, his girlfriend heard what he said and would definitely never let it go.
“when have you been so sweet?! love and be loved? seriously?!” she bounced up and down, hands on tsukishima’s shoulder for support.
“she’s no different from the freak duo, i’m afraid” sugawara comments and laughs along with the third years.
“but am i really that beautiful that you had to gatekeep me from your entire team?” she laughed, still bouncing, and tsukishima only stood there with his smile never seeming to fade.
“if that were me i’d be receiving his train of insults by now” hinata says, joining the rest of the team as they watched how tsukishima seemed to be a lot softer around y/n.
“you’re such a gatekeeper kei!” she teased, this time, she stopped bouncing and have started poking her boyfriend’s sides.
“that he is! how dare he gatekeep kiyoko-san’s sister?!” tanaka kneeled back down on one knee with a hand on his chest.
nishinoya followed suit, “and what’s annoying is that she reciprocated his love!”
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© starjaeyun on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost
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merlucide · 4 months
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Boys that would do this
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GOJO, Inumaki, MAHITO, KAMINARI, UZUI, DOUMA TENDOU, Bokuto, Nishinoya, Tanaka, ATSUMU
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Made December 28th 2023
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emmyrosee · 1 year
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“Daddy, Uncle Shi-Shi called you a news-ance.”
From underneath the cabinet, Atsumu’s head slammed into the wood above him, whatever he was doing suddenly not mattering. Rintaro, who was holding the tools, now was absolutely cackling at the entire scene. The now wounded blonde slowly pulls his head out of the cabinet, a massive hand cradling his head and a look of betrayal on his face.
“He what!”
“Well, when you called Uncle Shi-Shi after lunch to tell me to come home, ‘nd he asked if you were done, ‘nd you said no, he got mad when he hung up and called you a complete news-ance.”
Rintaro’s cackling reached new levels as Hisako looks quizzically between them, hand smacking his knee and gasping for breath he cannot seem to catch.
Uncle Shinsuke, who was just supposed to have Hisako for the day while Atsumu fixed the sink- right, that’s what he was doing, pre-slander and concussion- but when the job became too much, Atsumu figured he’d have Hisako dropped back off at home to have some lunch and her nap, so Kita could go about his day; no matter how much Kita adores Hisako, it can be hard to balance errands with a four year old.
So much for being courteous.
“Daddy, Uncle ‘Taro, what’s a news-ance?”
“It means your dad’s annoying,” Sunarin ungraciously explains, leaning against the counter. Hisako tips her head in confusion, and Atsumu gives him a glare.
“It means,” Atsumu sighs, “that Uncle Shi-Shi got mad that I was busy but still wanted you home. He didn’t think it was a good idea.” Then, under his breath, he mumbles a quick “didn’t stop him from dropping you off, though.”
“Oh…” Hisako seems to ponder this before she nods, letting Atsumu duck his head back under the sink. “Well I don’t think you’re ‘noying!”
Atsumu groans as his child picks up Suna’s description of a nuisance, “I’m glad baby; why don’t you go put on paw patrol, I’ll bring you lunch in a minute?”
“Okay daddy!”
Tiny feet toddle off, and from above the cabinet, Atsumu hears Rin stifle a laugh. “Damn, she’s funny.”
“Don’t encourage her, she turns every single uncle of hers against me.”
“Pretty sure you do that to yourself, my guy.”
“Give me the pliers and stay quiet.”
A few moments later, a small voice comes back into Atsumu’s earshot again, this time directed mostly at Suna.
“Uncle ‘Taro?”
“What’s up, lean cuisine?”
“How come Uncle Shi-Shi uses those big words, but mommy just says daddy’s ‘noying?”
His head slams back into the cabinet, once again whining in pain, and Suna’s laughter of betrayal once again filling the Miya home. A trip to the ER would have to wait; this is far more important.
“She WHAT?”
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splitontendo · 23 days
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silly bf texts
ft seijoh boys <3 (oikawa t. iwaizumi h. matsukawa i. hanamaki t. and kyotani k.)
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tobxiyu · 5 months
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✶ BF TEXTS !
featuring. akaashi, tsukshima, nishinoya, shirabu, kageyama, kozume, hinata.
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© tobxiyu , 2023.
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leti666bigboss · 1 year
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part 1
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featuring: kuroo tetsuro, kozume kenma, yamamoto taketora, yaku morisuke, haiba lev, suna rintaro, the miya twins, terushima yuuji
genre: crack
warnings: terushima's might be just a liiiiiitle bit suggestive
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rishiguro · 1 year
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HAIKYUU CHARACTERS AND THE FUNNY INSULTS THEY’D USE
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“your birth certificate was a waste of paper”
TSUKISHIMA. iwaizumi. matsukawa. daichi. YAKU.
“somewhere on this world there’s a tree whose sole purpose is to replace the oxygen you waste. go find that tree and apologize for being the stupidest person i’ve ever met”
oikawa. KUROO. sugawara. akaashi.
“bread can mold, what can you do?”
tsukishima. kenma. SUNA. hanamaki.
“your mother should have swallowed you”
suna. osamu. TANAKA. tendou. yamaguchi.
“you are the human version of period cramps”
bokuto. KIYOKO. sugawara. kita. SAEKO. atsumu.
“yeah? well you smell like hotdog water”
HINATA. yamamoto. nishinoya. kageyama.
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hynko · 9 months
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⋆.ೃ࿔*: HAIKYUU random texts :
pt. 2
pt 1 | m.list
GENRE: crack
TW: profanity
CHARACTERS: kags, ushi, terushima, sakusa, kogane, futakuchi,tsumu, kunimi, kyotani
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kitasgloves · 4 months
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hq characters as me and my friends' text messages
part 2
— ♬ SFW purely crack & humor, platonic but can be perceived as romantic
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Osamu & Sakusa
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Iwaizumi & Suna
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and yes my friend snitched on me for smoking inside his cousin's house >:(
Oikawa
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my friend was out of the country last month and I was missing them lmao
Kita
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this was me and one of my older guy friends, and no I don't have Spotify premium idgaf
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eggyrocks · 2 months
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☆part one: is she hot?☆
m. list
fun facts:
yn found this apartment thru yachi and kiyoko
yn, yachi, and kiyoko are equally of protective of each other
yn and hinata stan nct in secret
noya and yn are like siblings
an: ok that's enough for today i hope this isnt garbage trash :))))))) if u enjoy pls feel free to let me know !! asks always open & reblogs appreciated &lt;3
bonus:
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hotvinimon · 3 months
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Miya Osamu <3
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“Samu…Samu…Don’t look directly, but I can see your doppelganger… just behind you.”
You and your sweet, loving, handsome, onigiri man of a boyfriend were on a night date in the street of Shibuya. Osamu was busy in choosing what to eat first, while you took pictures. Suddenly you saw Osamu’s clown toghether with a curly haired, bitch-faced man, an orange head and an owl faced beefy boy.
To say that you were shocked would be an understatement. A guy… or I should say Samu’s clown was chatting with his friends just few meters behind your boyfriend, only his hair's more blonde, and his vibe's more... clownish.
“Doppelganger ??? what do you even me-” “CAN’T YOU FUCKING WHISPER ?? AND DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT. BE MORE SUBTLE.” you whisper yelled.
Suddenly the doppelganger looked in your direction and frowned comically and advanced towards you.
“OH MY GOSH, SAMUUUU, HE'S COMING... HE'S COMING THIS WAY!”
Samu quickly looked into the direction, and unlike you he was frowning ??? similarly like his doppelganger ??? what the heck was going on. Was there some kind of invisible mirror thing that you couldn’t see.
Even the doppelganger's buddies seem cool, like they're in on the joke.
The doppelganger was now, standing in front of you and looking at your boyfriend, like he was communicating with his eyes. Before anyone could say anything…
“OMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD… CAN I TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU SIR ????”
All eyes are on you, but who cares? It's not every day you meet your boyfriend's mirror image.
“Oh.. of course cutie, are you a fan ??”
“Well, I’m a human but I’ve never seen my boyfriend’s clown my entire life.” you giggled like a kid.
“DON’T DO THAT”. That ‘DOPPELGANGER’ yelled at your boyfriend.
“I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING.”
“YOU ARE MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT HER. LIKE YOU MAKE AT FOOD.”
“I AM NOT.”
“YES YOU ARE”
All you could hear for next fifteen minutes was funny curse words and skin slapping sounds. Meanwhile, the curly-haired dude shoots you a concerned look.
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“Ohhhh… so you are his big brother. Nice to meet you Tsum, I’m y/n, Samu’s s/o.”
Unlike your fictional brain, the ‘DOPPELGANGER’ turned out to be your boyfriend’s twin brother.
“Nice to meet you too y/n/n” Atsumu showed his signature smirk.
“IT’S MIYA TO YOU AND IT’S Y/L/N TO YOU.”
"WHAT THE HECK, BASTARD? AM I SOME GIRLFRIEND STEALER?"
"MORE LIKE AN UNINVITED DATE CRASHER."
"AT LEAST I'M EYE CANDY."
"YEAH, WELL, MOM LIKES ME MORE."
More insults fly, more slaps echo, and the furniture starts to question its life choices. Meeting your boyfriend's twin? Not too shabby after all.
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Keys -
y/n - your name
s/o - sgnificant other
y/n/n - your nick name
y/l/n - your last name
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Requests are open
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1zukuz · 1 year
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WRONG INITIAL !!
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HOW haikyuu boys react when you don't get their initial on your nails !
INCLUDES: cussing + fluff
ATSUMU, KAGEYAMA, BOKUTO, KUROO, SUNA, KENMA, OIKAWA
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lol if ur name starts with a y i apologize kuroo didn't mean it
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merlucide · 1 month
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Incorrect quote pt2
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Y/N: We have to find my darling husband! I’m so worried about him..!
Friend: seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Y/N: He makes me laugh.
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This applies to:
(JJK) GOJO, itadori, inumaki,
(MHA) KAMINARI, MONOMA,
(KNY) SANEMI, INOSUKE,
(HQ) OIKAWA, KYOTANI, kageyama, tanaka, nishinoya, tsukishima, LEV, kenma, SUNA, ATSUMU, SAKUSA, HOSHIUMI
(BLLK) BACHIRA, isagi, RAICHI, nagi, RIN, SHIDOU, otoya, SENDOU, OLIVER, KAISER, CHARLES
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hmperil · 11 months
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hii i rlly love ur works. can i request how the haikyuu boys would act when their jealous? please include ushijima!
! haikyuu boys being jealous !
includes : ushijima , bokuto , tsukishima
(a/n) thank you so much , of course ! feel free to request anytime because it really helps with ideas and motivation. have a lovely day ! <3
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bokuto : I feel like he would go full emo mode, would march up to his (s/o) and the guy she was talking to and wrap his arms around her waist and just *intense pouting* , wouldn't stop holding his (s/o) for the whole day because he was scared he was going to loose her. took him a lot of convincing him that it was just a friend and that she only loved him to get him out of emo mode .
ushijima : wouldn't be able to notice his jealousy at the start but as he gets more and more jealous everyone around him would be able to see that seething look of anger on his face . except his (s/o) who is completely oblivious and just keeps on talking to her friend, who slowly backs away as he sees ushijima come closer, she stares at her friend blankly in confusion until she looks back and sees her bf who simply puts his arm around her dragging her away . would be quite hard to calm him down, takes a lot of hugs and words of reassurance.
tsukishima : would refuse to admit he was jealous and just stare daggers at the guy his (s/o) was talking to. even after would bully the guy endlessly. surprisingly wouldn't be salty towards his (s/o) that day cause in the back of his mind he was worried she would find someone better than him, like ushijima tsukishima would take a lot of reassurance that she only loved him.
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(a/n) I wrote his as fem reader but if you would like it as gn (s/o) I can rewrite it and post it again with different pronouns !
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easybrainrot34 · 2 months
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He’s the kind of man that not only comes to girl's night out but is fully welcomed. Like POV he’s your boyfriend, you set up a girl's night, and he is fully integrated into girls night. He can be the DD, he can be the man who goes on a snack run, he can be the one who starts the evening by passing out shots like he can do it all. Oh you think you’re the host tonight ? Wrong. it’s him. If one of your friends becomes an emotional drunk, he becomes a therapist. If one of the girls is falling down drunk he’s giving piggyback rides. If it’s a girls night in and the charcuterie board runs low, he’s in the kitchen restocking it.
At least every girl has at least told you twice that they wish they wish there was a clone of your man. But if one of the girls is being suss, you know getting a little too flirty trying to get a little too close to him, he gently reminds them that he is wifey’d up. He also knows all the tea, all the drama, and is fully giving out advice (but if you don’t want advice, he’ll just let u rant).
- Bokuto, Kuroo, Daichi (specifically with him, he’s the kind of man to take everyone’s keys before the drinking starts), Mattsun, Iwazumi (although he has made everyone swear up-and-down that they would never tell Oikawa about girls nights, because he’s just not dealing with that), Ushijima (yes, he’s very stoic, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know how to have fun), Tendou (if somebody tries to mess with any of you at the bar, he’ll fight a bitch) , and of course, Atsumu
‼️sidenote, I typically write head cannons in a genderless way so you don’t have to be female presenting for this it’s just basically anybody but men because the boys night would be totally different lol‼️
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leti666bigboss · 1 year
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featuring: the majority of karasuno
genre: crack mainly
warnings: cussing
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