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ugh-yoongi · 1 year

Note

can i request Yoongi drabble? where a random member is Y/N's brother and Yoon is his best friend, but Y/N has a big fat crush on him

hiii, thank you so much for the request! it gave me an excuse to get rockstar yoongi out of my system (and make an actual banner for once), so i hope you enjoy. <3

playing with fire

pairing: yoongi x f. reader genre: brother's best friend au, rockstar au; suggestive warnings: extreme thirsting. a moshpit and moshpit-related injury. mentions of blood, alcohol, and weed/cigarettes. swearing. an unrequited crush (or is it). tension. unedited. rating: this is slightly suggestive but not explicit so 16+ wordcount: 1k listen to: i'm on fire by bruce springsteen

with this, i am finally done with bee's birthday drabbles! a huge thank you to everyone who sent in requests. i did save a few, so if i didn't get to yours this time, hopefully some inspo strikes in the future.

see all beeday drabbles here

have a favorite? let's talk about it!

It’s been a while since your brother’s band played in a nice venue.

Been a while since your boots didn’t stick to the floor, each step feeling like a glue trap. Since you could go home at the end of the night and pull a t-shirt over your head that didn’t reek of weed and cigarettes and someone else’s body odor. Been a while since you could just exist in peace; not feel like you were taking up room in a space that didn’t belong to you.

Been a while since you’ve seen Yoongi, too.

His hair is longer—half-formed curls framing his face, some trendy kind of shag. Chipped black lacquer on his nails. Fresh ink up and down his arms. Silver hoop through his nostril. A leather jacket and heeled boots, because he doesn’t have a thing to prove to anyone who might have something to say about it.

(You, least of all.)

Somehow, you’d forgotten that some people are magnetic. Some people are meant to be looked at, put on all those impossibly high pedestals, and that Yoongi is one of them. False idols be damned, everyone in this fucking room is wrapped around his finger. Even as he screams into a mic, shoots a sleazy grin at your brother to his left, every single person in this place would drop to their knees as soon as he gave the order.

(You, most of all.)

And you know it’s dangerous; know where that particular road dead-ends. You know that if you try to reach out and touch him all you’ll do is scar, but it doesn’t do a damn thing to quell the urge. There’s still just Yoongi and you and the millions of daydreams that have played out in the dead of night and the boundless distance between you.

The haze makes him beautiful, ethereal, like some kind of demi-god. Imposing, you think, because Yoongi’s up there looking down on you, as stable and immovable as all those shrines they built centuries ago. Places where people would gather to worship, just like now.

You’re distracted. Don’t hear Yoongi when he commands the crowd to move, and there’s a split-second just before the chaos where he finds you—sets his siren gaze on you and smirks out of the corner of his mouth, presses his tongue into the fat of cheek—and then there’s a searing pain blooming in your skull.

It’s hard to say what happens after. Hard to see through the fog and the frenzy, let alone make sense of amorphic shapes. There’s just the aching in your head and the jarring, dissonant ringing in your ears, and someone’s arms wrapped tight around your shoulders.

You come to in a bathroom.

Stinks of piss and disinfectant. Has one flickering, fluorescent light strung above the sink. Dingy tile on the floor and the walls. Paper towels overflowing from a trash can by the door.

“You with me, darlin’?”

Yoongi’s voice. He’s the only one who calls you that. Puts some exaggerated twang on it because he thinks it makes him sound cool. Doesn’t give a fuck about anything, especially what people might think, and he doesn’t have to.

“Not sure,” you answer truthfully. “What happened?”

“Some piece of shit elbowed you pretty good in the side of your head. Got a nasty gash—don’t look, doll. Got fuckin’ blood all over the fuckin’ place.”

You exhale. Nod your head as best you can. Unsteady. Find it hard to breathe when Yoongi’s fussing over you like this, calling you these little pet names. When he gently cradles your face in his ink-stained hands and says, eyes on me. Like you could look anywhere else. As if you’ve looked at anything else in years.

“Wha—what’re you doing?”

“Cleaning you up. Deep breath, darlin’, this is probably gonna sting.”

You barely react, still too dazed by the feel of his hands on you. You wish, briefly, that whoever had hit you had done so harder. Just enough to rewire a few things. Get rid of this juvenile crush you’ve let go unchecked for far too long. “Where’s Hoseok?”

“Went after that guy.”

You scoff. Roll your eyes. “Hoseok can’t fight.”

“Nah,” Yoongi agrees. Bites his lip as he concentrates. “But Jungkook can.”

Another press of an alcohol pad. This one stings, has you sucking in a breath through your teeth. “Don’t you think this is a bit much? I’m sure it was an accident.”

Yoongi is so close. Fits himself in the space between your thighs, presses you further into the sink, the faucet digging into your back. Doesn’t matter. Not when he’s close enough for you to count each individual eyelash, the scars that dot his face. Yoongi’s close enough for you to smell the nicotine that clings to his clothes, his skin, his hair. Close enough to smell the cheap beer lingering on his breath.

“Too much?” His brows knit together, head tilts like a confused puppy. “Why would it be too much?”

“S’not the first time I’ve nearly got my teeth kicked in at one of your shows. I just—is it worth all this fuss? My brother’s gonna get all fucking weird about it, and fuck knows what Jungkook’s gonna do to that guy.”

Yoongi’s close enough that you nearly speak the words against his mouth. Fuck, it’d be so easy to kiss him. So easy to give in and let the world burn down around you, the consequences be damned. It’d be so easy to be ruined by him that it has your hands twitching at your sides, wanting so badly to reach out and touch. Grab him by the belt loops and learn how he feels when he’s pressed flush against you. Learn what he sounds like when he moans, whimpers. What he looks like when he’s hurried and desperate.

"Stupid girl." But Yoongi doesn’t look hurried and desperate—he looks like he wants to devour you. “I would’ve done much worse.”

#beeday drabbles #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi imagine #yoongi drabble #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts drabble #jewel answers #jewel writes

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testingthewatersss · 4 months

Text

Bet! sorry if the whole theme is a little on the nose, but it was too perfect for angst to not just roll with it

Withdraw Trigger warnings for implied non con drugs, PTSD, mentions of war, torture, withdrawals etc. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Chapter 1 4900 words Angst, More angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Bucky has been feeling sick for weeks, by the time he starts to look it Steve's patience has run out and he forces him into the labs. Luckily figuring out the problem is much faster than getting him to acknowledge it. Unluckily, there isn't much anyone can do about it.

“He’s withdrawing”

“From what?” Steve asks, anxiety making his voice sharp

“Everything” Tony says, taking over from Bruce, “HYDRA were pumping him full of just about every drug going— appetite suppressants, sedatives-”

“-pain relief-” Banner adds, looking through the two way glass, “and some other compounds we can’t identify”

“Yet” Tony cuts in, “We’ll crack them pretty soon”

He’s aiming for confident. Steve can tell that he earnestly wants to help, so he offers him a tight lipped smile as he nods.

“He’ll be okay” Bruce says, sounding more certain, “but for right now he’s just going to have to ride it out”

There’s an apology in his tone.

“For how long?”

Tony shrugs, flicking through some notes-

“A while” is what the Stark finally decides, “A couple of days, maybe? It depends on what half of this shit is, and how the serum-”

“Can’t you do anything to make it-”

“Steve” Bruce cautions, “We’re doing everything we can”

The ‘don’t push it’ is implied.

Tony is still unhappy about Barnes even being in the tower, let alone in his lab.

The blonde nods again. He’s about to rattle off a ‘thank you for your help’ when the door to the adjacent room opens.

Bucky is perched on the edge of the examination table. He’s shaking like he’s having a seizure, with hair hanging in sweat dampened pieces in front of his eyes.

His eyes look rabid. His pupils are blown and they’re ringed with deep-set bruises.

Y/N decides to approach him slowly, not even sparing a glance in the direction of the two way mirror that she just knows people are watching them through.

“Hi, sweetheart” she coos, coming to a stop a few feet away from him, “How’re you feeling?”

The man doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even blink.

“Not great?” She guesses, reaching out carefully to press her hand flush against his brow, “Still feel like puking?”

He’s clammy, his skin is damp and cool under her touch—

“Mhmm”

A hum is better than no response at all, so she takes it, letting her arm fall back to her side.

“Y/N, if you can convince him to give us a blood sample we might-”

Bucky flinches as the in wall speakers crackle to life above them. She shoots a harsh look at the mirror and her brothers voice vanishes as quickly as it’d come.

“Was that one test too many?”

It’s only then that his eyes roll up to hers.

God, he looks sick.

“-‘m, um, I'm sorry” he whispers, voice cracking painfully around the word,

She just shakes her head, waiting to see if he’s going to say anything else. For a moment, she thinks that he won’t. That he’s going to settle back into silence, but then, he blinks at her,

“Wh-what’s happenin’ to me?”

The waiver in his voice reminds her just how brave he’s being. It’s clear that he’s suffering, that he’s in pain, and the she knows how much he hates being anywhere as remotely clinical as the lab-room where he’s been waiting in for hours, she thinks that it’s a miracle he’s daring to ask her anything, she thinks, let alone something about himself;

“Well…” she begins, “…From what we can see HYDRA had you hooked on a bit of a cocktail…” she pauses, letting him absorb what she’s saying, “… We’re still trying to figure out the exact amounts, Buck-That book we’ve got gives us some clues, so does how you’re feeling, and the readings we’ve got from the scan”

Bucky sniffs, swallowing bile as it floods his mouth again. Everything is spinning, he screws his eyes shut, until the darkness of his eyelids becomes a blinding white, and he’s so scared by the change that he snaps them back open, reaching out to take hold of her fingers in a last ditch attempt at finding some facet of comfort—

Y/N’s heart melts at the gesture. She curls her hand around his, and lets him settle himself for a beat,

“Some blood would tell us more about what is causing what… it’d make it easier to figure out exactly what everything they gave you was for—”

“C-can” he gulps, “can you make it stop?”

There’s no point in lying to him, she decides, He’s had enough of that already—

“No” she says honestly, “Probably not, sweetheart… It looks like you’re goin’ to have to just let it pass regardless, but if we can figure out the details we might be able to take the edge off”

He’s starring at her. His expression is so hopelessly defeated that she can’t help but step closer towards him;

As she moves in, standing directly between his thighs, he crumbles, he visibly shatters, folding forwards with a terrible shudder- The way her hand lets go of his, moving so that she can wrap her arms around his back is a reflex. She’s rewarded with the feeling of him burying his face in her stomach as his lungs start to strain.

“Cou-could you st-stay here?” he asks, voice muffled by fabric and tremors, “If.. I-f I give the sample w-w-would y-you stay?”

“Sure” Y/N agrees quickly, “I can stay right here, okay? We can have Bruce slip in and grab it, you’ll only have to move your arm”

“Okay” he says bravely, “J-just Bruce, ri-right?”

“Just Bruce” she promises, nodding at the mirror, “We can get Steve too, if you want? I’m sure he’s around-”

“Please” Bucky bursts, “P-please don’t— I- I d-don’t w-want him seein’ me like this”

“Okay” she replies calmly, “No Steve”

The door opens quietly, Y/N looks over and smiles encouragingly at the doctor as he makes his way towards them, already holding everything he needs in gloved hands;

“I bet he’s busy, anyway” She’s says, looking back at the mirror, knowing that the blonde is watching behind, “SHEILD will have him up to his neck in paper work for the next month and half now he’s back in their good books.”

She understands why Bucky might want to hide this whole situation from Steve. They’re both protective over the other, and neither is very good at letting the other one fret no matter how justified it might be—

“Okay Sargent Barnes-” Bruce says, almost in introduction-

“Bucky” he corrects shakily,

“Bucky” the man agrees, ignoring the way that the man is still hiding his face against Y/N’s front, “I’m going to bring your sleeve up now, alright? Just try and keep still, I’ll be as quick as I can”

Y/N strokes Bucky’s back, as he nods in agreement, and then when she sees the tourniquet going on above his elbow, she feels him freeze completely. She can only imagine how difficult this is for him, how many horrible memories it must be triggering. Before the needle slips into his skin, she holds him a fraction tighter, and then, when the blood starts to draw, she presses a kiss against his head.

To his credit, Banner is fast.

The whole thing is done in a matter of seconds.

Still, Barnes is hyperventilating now. His ribs are straining, breathes coming in quick shallow bursts that he can’t make any effort to slow.

Bruce doesn’t notice though, or if he does, he’s too polite to comment- He takes his prize and disappears with nothing more than a curt nod in Y/N’s direction;

“All done, handsome” the woman coos after a moment of quiet, “What do you want to do now, huh?”

That question takes Bucky by surprise. It’s clear from the look on his face when he finally shifts to peer up at her that he’d been expecting her to say maybe anything other than that

“Do you have to go?”

“No” she says fairly, “We can stay here, but you’re only going to keep feeling worse, and it’s more comfortable up in the—”

“I can leave?” he asks, clearly confused, “I.. I th-thought you w-were going to- to leave me here until I-”

“No” she says again, “No, Bucky… Of course you can leave, you can go anywhere you want”

Now he only looks more muddled.

He really had been expecting to be locked inside this horribly bright room so he could ‘ride this out’ without causing any trouble.

The idea of not being left in total isolation in an empty, clinical suite genuinely hadn’t crossed his mind.

Y/N thinks that’s awfully sad.

“…Y-you said ‘we’…” Bucky murmurs next, “D-di-did you mean—”

“I’ve taken the week off work” she tells him softly, “I’m all yours, sweetheart— Someone’s got to keep an eye on ya’, and since you’ve already said ‘no’ to Steve I figured-”

“I l-love y-you” he stammers, feeling horribly unworthy, “I- I-I’m s-sor-”

Y/N cuts his apology short by tilting his head up, so that she can press a gentle kiss against his lips.

“I love you too” she swears, smoothing his hair back affectionately, “Baby, and you’ve done so well with all of this, but now I think we should get you out of here.”

Bucky just nods, barley believing his luck- He’s way too far gone to question it, though, so he doesn’t, he just waits, hoping that Y/N will take the lead,

“If he stops tolerating fluids we can arrange an IV ” Bruce’s voice announces via the speakers, “some of these compounds look similar to ketamine, which means—”

“Hallucinations are likely” Y/N inserts calmly, “Yes, Thank you, Dr Banner— I’ve read the same material as you, and I’m well aware of the implications of non-medicated withdrawal”

That information is clearly new to Bucky, who suddenly looks rabid with fear

“H-halluciations?” he parrots, trying to stop himself from crying, “Y-you mean—”

“Don’t worry” she soothes, “You’re going to be okay, It’s alright…”

It’s not, he thinks frantic, I’m dangerous, I—“Hey” Y/N says, tone a little firmer, “Hey, Bucky, look at me-”

He does. His eyes snap to hers, and the moment they do, she finds herself wishing that he was looking anywhere else.

“I promise” she murmurs, “I promise you’re going to be okay”

“I’m scared” he tells her honestly, “Doll, I— god, I— I’m so scared”

Her heart shatters in her chest.

She can feel the shards of it aching, as she reaches up to cup his cheeks.

After everything he’s been through, after all the terrible, horrible things he’s survived, it seems awfully unfair that there’s still more he has to suffer.

It’s no wonder he’s terrified. He’s clearly hurting, and his body is just starting adjust to the lack of drugs it’s been accustom to for nearly 100 years. It doesn’t help that the only facts she’s been able to give him is that it’s probably going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

“I know” she whispers, “I know you are”

His lower lip is quivering, his are eyes full of tears and suddenly, he doesn’t look manic, anymore, he doesn’t just look tired, or sick, he looks totally, completely, shattered.

“But, I’m not leavin’ you—” he hears her swear, “—I’m going to look after you okay? No matter how bad it gets, I’m going to make sure you’re alright, I promise”

Steve watches his oldest friend clutching Y/N’s hand and half stumbling out of the lab, and feels guilt flooding his chest like poison.

He wants to help. He wants to make it all go away, but he can’t. He knows he can’t, and even though it’s illogical, he can’t help but feel sickened by how helpless he is in the situation.

“You did the right thing, Cap” Bruce says in consolation, “You got him here, you convinced him to let us run the tests-”

“I lied to him” Steve counters, “I told him I was goin’ to the office-”

“and I told Y/N I didn’t mind my kid sister shacking up with the guy who killed our parents” Tony cuts in dryly, raising his hand to silence Steve’s budding defence of the man, “My point, is that sometimes we lie to the people we love, welcome to the twenty-first century.”

He shrugs, looking pointedly back at his notes.

“weren't they together before you found out about that?” Bruce asks, before remembering that they're supposed to be avoiding that topic all together, “not that it matters - he’s right, Steve— He’s okay, we’ve got some good data, hopefully he’ll clean up quickly enough-”

Tony barks out a laugh that he tries to disguise as a cough when he see’s the genuine look of upset that Steve is wearing.

“Sorry” he says, “But that guy’s blood is… it’s something else… he’s got a hell of a come down headin’ his way”

“But he’ll be fine?” Steve asks, terrified again, “Right?”

“Right” Bruce answers instantly, “Right, just-”

“Not for awhile.” Tony finishes,

“Y/N isn't a child” the other man cuts in helpfully, “and, she has more than enough experience handling Barnes-”

“She’s not his handler” The other Stark bristles, “She loves the guy, which is the only reason I’m-”

“I didn’t mean it like that” Bruce says, calm tone working at diffusing Tony’s budding irritation, “but, again, he’s right Steve— She dotes on him, I think we should leave them to it for a couple of days at least— FRIDAY can keep an eye out”

He doesn’t like the idea of staying away, but it’s clear that he doesn’t have a choice. Barnes had said that he didn’t want him interfering, and he can’t say he blames him. Dignity isn’t something he’s had a lot of, over the years. HYDRA clearly hadn’t been very big on it, so robbing him of the little privacy he’s trying to have would be absurdly selfish.

By the time both Bucky and Y/N have made it back to the room they share, the man is drenched in sweat. He’s shaking so much that he’s barely managing to walk, flesh arm draped around his partners shoulder for support.

“Okay, love, I know… It’s okay, we’re here, you’re alright” she soothes, locking the door behind them, “FRIDAY, lets turn the heat up— Keep it high for the next 48 hours.”

The ‘Yes, boss’ that usually follows a command is drowned up the the sound of Bucky’s retching.

It’s loud, and hollow and he’s hunched over at the waist, and then, he’s puking, stomach acid burning up his throat as he screws his eyes shut—

“Alright” Y/N murmurs, adjusting herself around him the best she can, “Alright, it’s okay”

It’s not. He’s not—

He tries to straighten himself out, but the second he tries to move, it feels like he’s being kicked in the ribs. He doubles over, and then, just as the second round of hurling stops, he drops to his knees.

Y/N can’t catch him, he’s way too heavy, but she can wait until he’s still before moving round to his side, and running her hands through his hair, holding it away from his face as he starts throwing up again.

It hurts. He hasn’t eaten in days, which is probably why it feels like knives are being twisted in his stomach as he continues to cough wetly into his own lap.

“You heard what Bruce said about fluids, right?”

He nods as much as he can with the way she’s holding his hair.

If I can’t keep them down, I get an IV.

She suspects the way that he’s processed the sentiment is a little off. She thinks that she should probably remind him that hooking him up to a saline bag won’t be a punishment he earns by not drinking enough, but now doesn’t seem like the time. Not with the way he’s starting to sob-

Hollow, gasping cries are rattling his chest, tears starting to stream down his face, mixing with whatever other bodily fluids are shining by his jaw.

“Okay, Buck...” she soothes, taking a hair tie from her wrist and using that to hold his hair in place, “It’s all going to be alright”

Exhausted, blood shot eyes roll over to her as she slips into his field of vision.

He doesn’t believe her at all.

“Don’t leave me” is all he manages to say, “Please.. I— I d-don’t w-want to die on my own—Please I- I want to die with you.”

And then, just like that, he’s not just sobbing anymore.

He’s weeping. It’s loud, and uncontrollable. He’s shaking and looking at her with a look that she knows will stick behind her eyes forever;

“You’re not going to die” she promises lamely, tugging him into her chest, wrapping her arms around his back not caring for one second about the way that he’s still covered in puke, “But I’m still not leaving you on your own…”

Bucky disagrees with her. He can’t catch his breath, he can’t breathe and that alone might kill him. Let alone the way his entire body feels like it’s being torn apart from the inside out— This, whatever this new, incredible pain is, is worse than anything he remembers having lived through before, and some of that had nearly finished him off—

He gags, into her chest, feeling her hands stroking the burning skin of his back through the material that is clinging to his body, now.

“Oh, sweetheart” she sighs, “Lets get you in the shower”

While we can still move you

She doesn’t say that out loud. She doesn’t have too.

He’s not going to fight, or tell her that he doesn’t want to move— He just keeps crying as she helps him drag himself into their bathroom, and then, into the walk in cubicle, under a stream of warm water he doesn’t remember her starting.

The noise is soothing. So is the feeling of it rushing over him, drenching his hair, washing his face; and then, he sees her.

She’s naked, and perfect and kneeling down in front of him.

He’s still dressed, he realises with a blink that he’s still wearing his t-shirt and sweatpants.

Mechanically, he moves to take his shirt off.

It’s agony. He doesn’t know why, but the second he moves his shoulder it feels like the entire seam of his scar is tearing open. His bones all feel broken. He makes a noise that sounds like a wounded animal, and then, Y/N is moving for him; she’s guiding the fabric up and over his chest, and she’s stroking his cheek as he whimpers and whines and finally kicks his legs free from his pants.

He feels like he’s just run a marathon, like he doesn’t have an ounce of energy left. So he just lets himself fall back against the towels, crying, and shivering under the spray of water.

Y/N cleans him slowly, taking her time lathering him up in sweet smelling soap. She doesn’t touch is scar, though. It’s red, and angry, and it looks awfully painful.

HYDRA had a morphine substitute going almost round the clock when he was off ice, she recalls, that’s probably why.

“Can I touch your shoulder, love?” she asks calmly, “You can say no”

The reminder that he’s free to refuse is very much needed. The terror driven ‘yes ma’am’ he’s about to blurt out dies in his throat, and he just simpers for a moment before flexing metal fingers and whispering out a “Please don’t” that Y/N thinks might be the bravest thing she’s heard him say.

“Okay” she agrees with a smile, “Okay, Buck— I know it hurts”

“E-ev-everything hurts”

She nods, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

“I know” she says, “I know it does, I’m sorry”

“W-whats happening’ to me”

“You’re withdrawing” she repeats, knowing that he already knows “All those drugs HYDRA had you hooked on, baby, all of it’s gone— there was a pump in your arm, it kept it all on automatic but there isn’t anyone left to put in a re-fill, remember? so now you’re detoxing, it’s all leaving’ your system”

That all sounds like something he’s been told before. He remembers fragments of conversations, of talks with her, and her brother, and Bruce; about his arm, and about the components inside and how they were using them to medicate him— He remembers them deciding not to take it out, to let it run it’s course, not wanting to just cut him off cold turkey—

“I, I can’t do this” he whispers, “I- I need I— p-please j-just just-”

“We can’t” Y/N says sadly, “Bucky we tried, remember? There isn’t anything we can do, the units been deactivated and we can’t just throw another one in, it doesn’t work that way.”

He’s so hopelessly, crushingly defeated that all he can do is keep crying.

The feeling of his lovers fingers drifting across his face is the only facet of comfort he has, so when they stop, it’s more than he can bare.

His flesh hand shoots up to hers, so that he can press it back against his jaw with a look so desperate that she can feel her own chest aching;

“You’re going to be alright” she promises again, “We’ve run all the tests, love… It’s going to be a rough couple of days but after, when it’s all run it’s course you’ll feel better than you did before”

He doesn’t believe there’s going to be an after. He’s honestly certain that he’s going to die in agony before anything can ‘run it’s course’ -

“I know you’re scared, I know it’s all too much” she murmurs, leaning in to kiss his brow, “But, you’ve done it before… so many times, love… and this time, I’m going to be here, you’re not going to be on your own”

A line forms between his eyes, he doesn’t remember, he—

Oh, oh god.

He remembers hell. He remembers flashes of something he’d hoped had been nightmare— stone walls, and clawing at his skin until it tears open underneath his fingers, and, and the sound of screams, of his own screams until his voice gives in, and, no, not it’s all way too much—

He’s throwing up again, even though nothing is coming up. He’s gagging and spluttering and his heart is racing.

Y/N realises what must’ve triggered this reaction, and shakes her head the second he can see—

“Don’t think about that” she whispers, “there’s a reason you don’t remember it all, okay? It’s not your fault and it’s not important— What is important, is that you hear me, okay? I’ve got you, and this, this is all going to be okay”

The nod he gives her is barely a twitch, but she catches it all the same, and then, a few minutes later when she turns the water off, and feels flesh fingers reaching out for her hand, she catches that too.

She is the only thing he cares about right now. His entire world is searing, blazing pain, but she, she is soft, and kind and he loves her, and he trusts her and even though he’s still half convinced that this is really going to kill him, if he gets to die holding her hand then maybe the pain won’t seem so bad.

Bucky doesn’t remember her helping him put boxers on, or how he got into their bed.

He remembers the way his crying had gotten more hysterical when she’d let go of his fingers so that she could put a towel on the floor beside him, and he remembers the way that when she’d gotten under the covers he’d rolled over, ignoring the way that his whole body had felt like it’d torn apart at the action, so that he could bury his face in the crook of her neck— so that he could sob into her skin and cling onto her body in an attempt to keep her close.

“My sweet, sweet boy” Y/N purrs, taking the hint and tugging him into her front, “If you want anything… anything at all, you just tell me, alright?”

“Y-you” he gulps, “I- I want y-you— I- I need you, I— I’m s-so scared— I- I j-just want you here”

“I’m here” she whispers, trying to calm him down, “I’m right here”

He forces a nod. This time, the action is more notable, so is the way his hands tighten around her waist, locking himself in position so firmly that nothing, nobody, would stand a chance at prising him away.

“Hush now” she says, stroking his hair, “You just keep breathing for me, okay? that’s your only job right now… you just need to breathe, and rest”

Breathe, and rest.

“I-I’ll t-try I— I swear”

His promise is hissed out through gritted teeth, but Y/N still smiles when she hears it. She smiles, and kisses the top of his head, feeling his sobs becoming quieter and quieter until eventually, they fade off into the kind of quiet, uneven gasps that usually means he’s asleep.

Thank god, she thinks, praying he’ll stay that way for awhile.

1 | 2 | 3a

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ashdreams2023 · 5 months

Note

Hiya would you be able to write a one shot Loki x reader with chronic pain (POTS and EDS specifically) for me I struggle with knee pain, cramping, and my hands have become very weak over the years xx and I struggle with fainting, dizziness and migraines (I know this is a lot) ….and if it could be fluffy and spicy that’d be amazing xx

Of course sweetheart!

Summary: loki takes care of you on a rough day (slightly heated at the end)

Silly questions

You sighed in relief, finally being able to sit after that conference, plus it was cold as hell, your joints are killing you.

Everyone had left after the conference to finish personal errands before night time, leaving you alone in the compound.

"How are you feeling?"

Oh and Loki of course.

"I’m alright" you smiled "cuddle with me?"

"Food first, you haven’t eaten yet"

You pouted but got up and followed him to the kitchen, there was already some leftovers from breakfast and you didn’t feel picky that day so you just hoped the pancakes were not soggy yet.

The two of you sat down on opposite sides of the dining table and helped yourself "I need Bruce type of patience to survive these conferences" you mumble.

"Believe me even banner can’t stand them….can do that yourself?" He gestured to your hands, they were shaking slightly while holding your knife and fork.

"Oh yes, it’s nothing major, I can manage" And as on cue your winced in pain when you lifted your hand, this wasn’t the worst you’ve experienced but that didn’t make any less painful.

"Ok that’s it, drop the utensils" he stop up and walked across the table and sat beside you.

You tried to protest but ended up hurting yourself more by the sudden movements….maybe he was right. Your arms warped around your middle as you tried to catch your breath and not pass out.

Loki put his hand on your back, he muttered a few words you couldn’t understand, it was probably yet another dead language.

But to your surprise the more his hand stayed there, warmth spread through your body, it defeated the cold you had been feeling all morning.

"Here let me" He picked up your spoon and held it to you mouth "Now eat or do I have to do it baby bird style?" You rolled your eyes through the pain but accepted his help.

Most days than not you’ll feel embarrassed if this had happened in front of people, you didn’t like people to treat you like you’re made of glass, even if it was in a way partly true.

"I’m putting heating charm on your bed and you will take the medicine the doctor has prescribed for you"

"….but I hate taking it, it’s-"

"It’s either you take them willingly or I will magic them up in your stomach, your choice" Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, you hated take medicine but you hated the after feeling of that specific spell.

"Fine…." He fed you until you couldn’t eat anymore then took the plates.

You pushed yourself up and got off the chair but unfortunately a case of dizziness attacked you immediately and before you knew there was only the sound of your body hitting the ground and Loki’s quick feet running towards you.

It was a bit blurry but you could make out Loki splashing water at your face and carrying you to the bedroom where he eventually laid you on your bed and as promised he puts a charm on your bed "will you stay with me?" You asked.

He puts his hand on your head and plants a kiss on each of your cheeks "Don’t ask silly questions" his tone sounded concerned.

Your heart fluttered and the pain was not there for a minute, he laid with you in bed, his body felt unusually warm, he always did this, made himself uncomfortable for your sake, went up and beyond his nature for you to feel alright.

"Are you ok? This isn’t hurting you?" You asked.

He sighed and warped his arms tighter around you "I told you to stop asking silly questions, I’m fine as long as you are"

You wanted to cry, you knew he was also hurting by making his body this warm but Loki was stubborn and no matter how much you begged him to stop he wouldn’t budge.

"Loki" you whined gripping onto his top.

He chuckles lightly and starts kissing your face all over, his hand rubs your sighs, tugging teasingly on the hem of your sweatpants then sliding his hand underneath and grabbing your bottom.

You can feel him hard against your body, it made your face burn.

"Look at you all warmed up, so beautifully desperate"

"Shut up" you hid your face away.

He covered your head with his arm and brought it to his chest, you could his heart, it was racing, the heat wasn’t good for his heart.

"But seeing you hurting is worse so stop thinking out loud and let me heal you"

You bit down on your lip and held onto him, there was yet a silly question in your mind but you had to remember that Loki didn’t like silly questions for the answer is always right there.

#imagine #mcu #loki laufeyson #loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #fanfic #mcu loki #loki/y/n #headcanon #loki layfeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x female reader #loki laufeyson x male reader #loki layfeyson x you #loki friggason

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darsynia · 6 months

Text

Shipping and Handling Chapter 3 Sneak Peek

(Stucky x Reader slow burn, Steve x Reader fast burn, Friendship all around)

SERIES MASTERLIST | STORY MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

Summary: There’s a chance you and Steve aren’t the only people dealing with the strange chemical bond from Mistress, so you agree to submit to daily tests that should help Dr. Banner figure out what’s happening, and maybe how to stop it. The problem? Seeing each other every day brings a new set of side-effects that both of you hide from each other and Banner until things come to a head– not just for the two of you, but also for the man who has to deal with you: Bucky Barnes. Length/Warnings: around 600 / sexual situations

Tags: @munstysmind @ronearoundblindly @chickensarentcheap @themaradaniels @tiny-anne @deepbatched @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @wolfstar-marvelsfan @icequeen1371 @chibijusstuff @brooke0297 @caplanreblogsfics @hails270105 @venusfalling @zzz000eee @eralen @mrsevans90 @myinconnelly1 @thorinsmistress @cjand10 @wckedheart @samfreakingwinchester @blind-devil @sanniegirl1214 @karimac @dispatchvampire @beautifulchaos723

Thanks for your patience everyone! It was QUITE a summer. To recap, this scene is in the middle of the next chapter, named Gravity, hopefully posted in the next few days. The reader has been exposed to the aphrodisiac Mistress, causing secondary transfer to Steve. She's in a wheelchair for physical-stability safety, no actual injury or incapacitation.

“Alone?” you whisper, sounding miserable.

Steve crouches down in front of the wheelchair, his heart clenched into as much of a fist as the hand he’s gripping the armrest with. His high-minded resolutions not to influence you have been shredded by the look on your face.

“Not alone, not if you don’t want to be. The third option is for me to stand by what I promised in the restaurant. To finish what we started, out in the car.”

Your breathing had been quick and distressed since he’d wheeled you out of Bruce’s lab, and as he watches, you struggle with your words, pulling in a breath only to let it out in furrowed-brow frustration twice. Finally, you let out a huff of a laugh and let your hands drop like you’ve given up trying to be diplomatic.

“Are we coworkers, thanks to all this? Am I allowed to ask you exactly what you’re offering, or would that get lawyers involved?”

“Oh, I’m sure Tony would love to get lawyers involved,” Steve groaned, “--but this is just between us. No surveillance and no pressure. The limo is parked in a private garage, it has tinted windows, and Stark’s AI guards all access. It’s the safest place I could think of without a chance of being interrupted or--”

“Yes.” Along with the fervent assent, you throw your head back, your whole body going through a kind of delighted shudder of relief that has Steve standing and walking a short distance away so he doesn’t do anything rash.

After a few deep breaths, he says, “I’m going to wheel you into the elevator, but if I’m honest, I’m not sure you’re in any condition to agree to this.”

“At least as much as you did, the day we met!” Your laugh sounds manic, but when Steve turns around, he catches you letting out a deep breath, your hands in fists on your lap. “If--” your voice falters, but you clear your throat and continue. “If you really think that, I can’t do this to you. I’ll… go up to the apartment.”

His own disappointment at that option slices through his inhibitions, and Steve hastens to refute the necessity of your offer. “Don’t do that to yourself. You won’t be able to fix this without me.”

“I know. But you should have the choice.”

He hits the elevator button and the doors open right away, offering a distraction from responding as he wheels you in-- but Steve Rogers isn’t much for avoiding tough things.

He ignores the part of his brain that points out that this isn’t tough at all.

“I do have the choice. Bruce said, and I quote, ‘I’ve never seen you walk away from someone in distress, and I don’t expect you to start now.’ He’s right.”

Steve forces himself to count to twenty as the elevator takes the two of you to the sub basement, but his veneer of control is shattered when the doors open and he looks down at you. You’ve leaned your head back to look up at him, desire etched across your features-- but equally present is an expression of utter trust.

It’s as much of an intoxicant to him as Mistress.

He walks around to block the door of the elevator, turning to hold a hand out for you. No way is he going to wheel you to the limo for what’s about to follow. Your immediate, confident grasp does a lot to assuage his concerns. The way you stumble into him right afterwards is just a symptom of the malady he knows just how to fix.

The empty wheelchair in the elevator will do nicely as an indicator to whom it may concern.

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observeowl · 9 months

Text

Her Assistant | Chapter 3 - Bruce Banner & Stark's Party

Summary: After losing her family, Natasha Romanoff builds her company from the ground up. During the rise of her company, she decided she needed an assistant, one that works in her office and her house. That's when she saw your resume. After working five years for her, how was it like working for her? Or more importantly, how things progress?

Series Masterlist

Your POV I was cleaning up Miss Romanoff's office as she came in after finishing her meeting with Mr Fury. I had no idea what they were talking about, I was never allowed to be in the same room as them but the times after the meetings are always fun.

"Cancel all meetings after this, we are going to pay Tony a visit."

"Anything else Miss Romanoff?" She shook her head before stopping herself. "I would like my chocolate mousse cake an hour early today." She ordered.

I closed the door behind me after leaving. "What a stupid order." I muttered under my breath. Miss Romanoff must have known that I hadn't stocked up the kitchen and there wasn't any chocolate for me to use. Plus, she wants her dessert an hour early, this has to be on purpose.

"Bucky! Take care of the house, I'll be back in half an hour." I took the keys and drove down to the nearest mart to get all the supplies.

Bucky POVAfter Y/N left me alone in the house with Miss Romanoff, I didn't know what to do. I've never been left in charge before, all I knew before being hired in by Miss Romanoff was how to hold a gun. Knives were used to kill and not cook, I've never used it on a non-living thing.

I've never cooked except the time where I first joined and they stationed me at the kitchen. I set the kitchen on fire and dinner was still midway preparing when it was already time for dinner. Y/N came in and put out the fire before salvaging what's left. In a blink of an eye, dinner was served as if nothing had happened. I've never heard of anyone of her calibre, it's like she dropped from the sky like a gift.

I did some digging and heard some gossips here and there, apparently, the Romanoff's were pretty famous years ago but a huge fire wiped out most of her family and only she survived. Miss Romanoff came back one day and Y/N was already assisting next to her and she created the business she has today.

Y/N came back holding all sorts of groceries bags in her arms and I went forward to help her unload. She passed them all to me and quickly took off her coat and rolled up her sleeves before starting her work in the kitchen.

Like magic, she finished the dessert Miss Romanoff asked for in an instant and the kitchen looked like it hasn't been touched by the end of it.

Natasha POVTime was ticking for her. I love giving Y/N challenges without allowing her to prepare for it and sad to say, she always nails it. How boring. I would love to see her fail for once.

"Come in." I said after hearing a knock on my door. Y/N pushed a cart in with the chocolate mousse cake resting in the middle together with my second coffee of the day. She cut up a slide and plated it before setting it in front of me on my table. Grabbing the fork she presented to me, I plunged in mercilessly and savoured the contents.

Dang it, she makes such a delicious mousse cake under pressure too. What can she not do?

I finished the rest of the slice before licking the residual chocolate on the fork and dropping it on the plate. She cleared it and poured fresh coffee in my cup.

"We have about two hours before we have to leave for Mr Stark's party." She informed me.

I nodded my head before going through the reports I received from my employees. "Push it back, we're meeting Bruce first." I decided to change my schedule on a whim. I heard her mumbling something in the quiet study but it wasn't clear enough.

"What is it? Speak up!"

"Nothing Miss Romanoff, I'll be heading out to prepare for our trip."

Your POVI sighed as I closed the door. Changing the schedule as she pleases, it's not as simple as it looks to be. Does she think others will clear their schedule for her? Who does she think she is, Queen of England?

"Miss Romanoff made changes again, we are heading out earlier." I told Bucky who was the one preparing the cars.

"That reminds me, your new car you ordered is already in the garage. It came while you were preparing Miss Romanoff's dessert." He informed me.

Finally one good thing today. I went to the garage to see my new car under the spotlight of the garage. And she looks good, my grey Porsche Caynne.

I got in excitedly and felt the leather on the seat. I can't wait to bring her out for a drive. Well, technically I am in a couple of hours but that would be with Miss Romanoff. I couldn't contain my excitement as I toured the interior of the car.

---

We arrived at Mr Banner's house and managed to catch him before he left for Mr Stark's party as well. See what I mean by planning?

Miss Romanoff started talking to him about something I've never heard before. I knew whenever Miss Romanoff and Mr Fury had a talk, we would end up investigating a lot of things. Well, I would be the one going around collecting information while she sips her coffee.

"The corpses are not complete..." He began and brought his hands together nervously. This was in contrast with Miss Romanoff's confident behaviour. "The corpses are well... all women... with their wombs gone."

Mr Banner looked at all of us before continuing, I think we were taking the news a lot better than he expected. "This kind of corpses have been increasing rapidly. It's very likely that the murderer is an expert. He will keep committing crimes, he definitely will, until someone stops him."

"I won't be scared. No matter what methods I need to use, I will solve them all." Miss Romanoff stood up and walked towards the exit without being sent off. "See you at the party, Dr Banner." She greeted him before walking off.

"So Mr Fury came to talk to you about Jack the Ripper?" I asked as it was painfully obvious from the methods of the murderer.

"I assume you're heading to the party for the same reason?" I asked again but when I didn't receive an answer I started the car and drove to Mr Stark party.

---

I got Bucky to bring Miss Romanoff to the party as I went to park my car. I know that valet service was provided, and I could have very easily asked Bucky to do so as well, but it was the first day I received her, I wasn't going to let anyone drive her.

After parking at an empty spot, I entered the energetic party and searched for Miss Romanoff. As I made my way around, a lot of people went to greet me. I thought it would be easy to spot Tony since he attracts a huge group around him, but I was having a hard time making my way through.

Suddenly a hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me aside. I looked at who was the one pulling me and I've never seen her before. "Come on, let me get you a drink." She began pulling me to the bar and ordered a Martini for both of us.

"How come I never seen you before?" She asked while having a hand on my thigh, rubbing it up and down.

"I'm here with my master." I said with a smile as I accepted her drink.

"Ohh, so you're one of those literate people." She seemed to lose all interest in me all of a sudden.

I ignored her comment. "Are your friends here with you today?" I asked.

"They are off with some other guys or ladies." She shrugged.

"Have you noticed your friends or people within your circle went missing?" I questioned her. "Like they just vanished one day." I elaborated further.

"Yeah, they missed some of their appointments and I haven't seen them since." She said nonchalantly, resting her elbow on the counter. We continued chatting for a while and talked to some of her friends when they came over to look for her.

Natasha POVEven after I was done talking to Tony, Y/N was still nowhere to be seen. Usually, she would be around me after she was done with her things. Surely parking her car wouldn't take long of a time.

I asked Bucky where she was and he looked around before pointing towards the bar. I clenched my jaw when I saw her surrounded by many women and laughing having her best time. They seemed to be leaning on her all around.

"What are you still standing here for? Go get her! We're leaving!" I stormed off after ordering Bucky. Why do I feel like killing the people for putting their hands around her? Who she's with has nothing to do with me.

"Sorry Miss Romanoff." Her car appeared in front of me while I was waiting at the front. She got out of her driver's seat and opened the door for me.

"Go away." Confusion plastered on her face at my unusual request. "Find out the possible suspects. If you can't do it, don't come back." I glared at her before getting in the car.

She whispered something to Bucky before he got in and drove off. "Why did you ask Y/N to leave? I thought she always drives you around?"

"She's got better things to do during her free time."

Your POVShe just chased me out of my car! How am I supposed to go around collecting evidence? Wait, why am I taking her order so seriously? What is she so mad about anyway?

I ruffled my hair and groaned in frustration as I started thinking of a way to get around. I let out a huff and straightened my clothes before moving out. Stupid orders, stupid contract.

Bucky POVThe atmosphere in the house was tense, I was walking eggshells around her. I have no idea how to calm Miss Romanoff down and she requested for coffee even though it was already night time. I drink coffee but I have no idea how Miss Romanoff liked them. I only see Y/N make it for her everyday but I know it was different on some occasions.

I sighed about not being able to make it the way Miss Romanoff has it but I really have no idea how to do it. I made them to the best of my abilities and fractured memories of how I've seen Y/N made it but it looked different.

Apprehensively, I brought it into Miss Romanoff's office. She was flipping her papers with much force, almost ripping it out of the binder. I gulped slightly before proceeding inside and placing it on her table.

She took a sip of it before sipping it out. "What the fuck is this?" She shouted before slamming back on the table, liquid slipping onto the saucer due to the impact. "Forget it. Just fetch me a glass of water."

"Right away." I picked up the coffee and left her room immediately. I took a sip of the coffee I made, it doesn't taste that bad. I decided to keep it for myself and get Miss Romanoff a glass of water. It would be a waste to throw out the coffee. Let's just wish the water is the right temperature too.

I just wished Y/N would be back soon, I have absolutely no idea how Y/N endured her outburst during her entire employment period.

Natasha POVI stayed in my office for the remainder of the day without getting much done. I couldn't get my mind to focus as Y/N was outside. Was she getting things done? Is she able to manage? Is she getting the correct things? How is she going to get back?

After saving the documents in my computer, I proceeded to my room to sleep. Who cares if she comes back tonight. I changed into my nightgown and got in bed but sleep was not coming to me. Tossing and turning in bed until I was making a mess but I couldn't calm down, my mind was running a thousand miles an hour. I ended up picking up a book from the nightstand and turning on the bedside lamp to read.

After flipping and reading through a few pages, my eyelids got heavier. I tried staying awake since I haven't heard Y/N coming back yet but I couldn't open my eyes any longer.

---

I could feel someone tapping my shoulders in the morning and in a swift movement, I reached under my pillow and grabbed my gun and pointed it at the person.

Y/N stared at me with a shocked expression with her hands up. When I realised it was her, I dropped my gun to the side and relaxed. When did she get back?

Y/N noticed the book I was reading before I fell asleep and chuckled before pouring the freshly brewed coffee into my cup. The scent of coffee calmed my mind and I swung my legs to the side of the bed. "Why did you read a horror book before you went to sleep?"

"It's none of your problem." I took the cup from her after she added sugar. "Did you get what I asked for?"

"Yes."

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x you #my writing #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfiction #Her Assistant

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years

Text

Hear me now (Jotun Loki x Female Reader AU) (18+)

Read chapter 16 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 17

Summary : Bluey gets his memories back and all of a sudden he's not bluey anymore but a man who has another life away from you. Where would that leave you?

Warning : Angsty angst.

You heard her words very clearly and it knocked the wind out of your chest. You felt your knees wobbling and your blood pressure dropped instantly, you were about to faint but Bluey grabbed you in his arms.

"Can we take her inside please it's been a long drive" Bruce asked Priscilla and she nodded.

He was married, that was his wife, and he had a son? You learned his name was Alvis, you always thought about his babies, with you and not another woman but this is not what you thought they would look like. Alvis looked nothing like you imagined, no blue skin or glowy eyes, not a single mark. He looked like a human.

"Who are you people?" She asked Bruce and he sighed

"Sorry, I am Doctor Bruce Banner, we are from New York City" he raised his hand forward and she smiled as she shook it.

"Bluey, I mean Loki was taken from here by Colonel Steve Rogers, he was shot in the head and the bullet is stuck inside his brain, that's why he's suffering from amnesia" she gasped as she heard that.

"He was shot? He just didn't come home one night and we looked for him everywhere. He disappeared and all of us thought he was just done with us, but I knew he'd never leave me and our son like that" Priscilla said and wiped her tears when she was done speaking

"He has been through real hell, thanks to y/n he's alive and back here safely " she looked at you and her smile faltered. You didn't blame her, that's how you'd feel too if the situation were reversed. She watched Bluey clinging to you and her jaw clenched.

He hated it here, he just wanted to go home with you. He made a hut sign and it made you want to cry

"This is your home Bluey" you told him softly and he shook his head.

"Will he get his memories back?" Priscilla questioned and Bruce nodded.

"Is there a hospital or a medical center in the village?"

"There is one, people of the village never really needed it though when my husband was here" she put a lot of emphasis on the term and that made you feel worse.

"Okay good, I'll take him there and will try to get that bullet out of his head, hopefully when he's done healing, his memories would return" You stood up as Bruce said that

"Now?" You felt so selfish but you didn't want to lose him so soon, you didn't want to lose your Bluey.

"The sooner the better" he said to you and you nodded. Debra's husband was ready to take Bruce and Bluey to the hospital but he didn't want to go without you,

"Just trust me okay, they just want to help, they don't want to hurt you i promise " you mumbled softly and he nodded. He trusted you, you'd never hurt him or let them hurt him.

He made an I love you sign with his hands and that made you cry but you gestured it in return. You didn't want his last memory as Bluey to be a hurtful one. He loved it when you confessed your love for him.

"Just come with me Bluey, I won't let anything bad happen to you okay?" Bruce grabbed his arm and he looked at you one last time, kissed your forehead before he left. You closed your eyes to soak the feeling of his touch on your skin. You and Natasha stayed at the house and waited for them to return.

It was awkward to say the least, you knew that she knew about you and her husband. You could just tell that she didn't like you and why would she? You have been fucking her husband while she was alone here, crying everyday for him to return to her and their son. You felt like a home wrecker and you never wanted to be that person.

..........

"Lay down bluey, I am going to heal you okay?" Bruce tried to convince bluey to lie down, he had to be under anesthesia but normal dosage wouldn't work on him, he had to be given a much higher dose.

"Y/n? Y/n?" He mumbled your name as his eyes teared up. He was scared. And he didn't understand why you didn't come with him.

"She's at home okay, when you wake up, we can go see her I promise" he nodded, if you trusted Bruce then he trusted him too, he laid down and Bruce immediately administered the anesthesia.

"Quick we don't have much time" Bruce said to the doctor assisting him there and he tried to take that bullet out as soon as he could. Under aneshthesia his healing wasn't as rapid as when he was awake so that worked in his favour. He finally allowed himself to relax as he placed the bullet down on the tray.

When Bruce came back from the hospital, he had Bluey with him, it all happened so fast because he didn't need much time to heal. You walked towards him as soon as he entered from the door, he still had the clothes you put on him. You hugged him tightly to comfort him and for the first time in months since you met him he didn't wrap his arms around you to hug you back. He didn't place his head in the crook of your neck to sniff you, he didn't purr as he felt the satisfying comforting touch.

"I am fine" And he spoke. That's when you knew that he had gotten his memories back and Bluey was gone so you looked up at him. He could speak now, Priscilla walked towards him and he pulled away from you then he walked over to her and hugged her.

He embraced her the way he used to embrace you, he kissed the top of her head and wiped her tears with his fingers very gently while you just stood there and mourned the loss. Your Bluey was gone and he'd never come back.

"You are back, you are back, oh thank God, I love you so much" she kissed him and he was taken aback with the sudden kiss. His relationship with his wife wasn't like other couples but there was no doubt that he indeed loved her and their son.

She moved away from him and brought Alvis from his room, then she handed him over to Loki. He smiled as he looked at the little boy.

"Hello little one, did you miss me?" He cooed as he rocked his son side to side, it was like looking at someone else, someone you didn't know or recognise even in the slightest. When you hugged him just a moment ago he felt the same but he wasn't the same man.

"I cannot thank you all enough for doing what you have done for me, for helping me get back here and for giving me my memories back, Please stay the night, lovely Priscilla here makes the best chicken rotisserie '' He said politely and Bruce nodded. They already had a conversation on the way back home from the hospital. He wasn't even looking at you as if he was ashamed to even be in your presence, ashamed of the relationship that you shared with him.

But that's not what made him afraid to glance at you, he e couldn't look at you because he couldn't bear to see the hurt look on your face. He couldn't live with his reality but he knew that he had to drink this poison and he had to live. He had a wife, a son and a life before he met you.

"I just need some time alone so I will see you all in the evening" he turned around and went upstairs to his room. You looked at Priscilla and she was glaring at you. You didn't think she was least bit interested in preparing the dinner for you of all people. She'd rather want the woman who slept with her husband out of her house right this instant.

"Uhhh I'll help you" Natasha told her and she nodded then they both headed for the kitchen. She gave you a sympathetic look and she wanted to talk to you in private after dinner.

Bruce walked towards you and he could tell you were distraught by everything here, completely heartbroken. You knew things would change but you didn't anticipate for it all to go like this.

"Is he ummm is he alright? Does he remember everything?" You asked him and he nodded "That's good..that's what we wanted" you mumbled as your eyes teared up.

After that awkward dinner Priscilla opened the guest room for Bruce and Nat and then she gave another spare room to you. So you walked with her until you reached the room,

"Priscilla I just wanted to apologize to you–"

"Forget about it, you knew what you were doing" she rolled her eyes as she snickered.

"No I.."

"Tell me What kind of person does that? What kind of monster would prey on someone like that? He was sick and you took advantage of him" your eyes welled up as she said that. She wasn't wrong, you did sleep with her husband and she had the right to be upset about it. It must hurt her deeply that he didn't remember her when he got back here.

"I am really sorry for the pain that I have caused you, if I knew about this, I never would have crossed that line..I know I.." she huffed as you said that. She didn't even let you finish your sentence.

"You didn't care and it shows, I know big city women like you really well, you saw a god and you just wanted to fuck him like a whore. I mean I still would have understood if it was his fault or he cheated on me but i saw him this morning, he was like a child in a grown man's body, you disgust me"

She stormed out after that and you broke down. Her words hurt you to the core, why didn't you stop yourself? Why didn't you stop him? You were doing something horrible then why didn't it feel wrong when you did it? You saw Natasha walking towards you, she heard everything.

"What a bitch, he's married to her? She's awful I can tell" she hugged you as you started to sob and her eyes teared up as well

"She's not wrong though, I am a monster, I took advantage of him when he was vulnerable" you spoke like a child and it broke her heart. She clearly remembered the day you were gushing about him and felt so happy and now this horrible woman had tainted that precious relationship you shared with Bluey.

"Y/n, you know you are the only reason he is here? Back to his bitch wife and somewhat cute son, I mean he's kind of not cute if you ask me, I thought Bluey would make godly kids? Anyways my point is that You saved him and you saved his life, you are not a monster, you are an angel" you hugged her tightly as she said that. The guilt was overwhelming and you knew it wouldn't fade anytime soon.

You couldn't sleep that night knowing far too well that he was so close to you and yet you couldn't see him or talk to him.

...........

Loki laid down on his bed and took a deep breath. What has his life come to? What has he done? How could he do this to you? His precious y/n.

He felt Priscilla getting into the bed next to him and it just reminded him of the fact that you were sleeping all alone, cold, crying and hurting every moment. "Loki oh loki, you have no idea how much I have missed you" she got on top of him and kissed him softly then she lowered down.

"I have missed you too dear but then it only feels like yesterday since I saw you" he smiled or tried to, it was so weird. He remembered his life here but he also remembered every moment that he had spent with you, he'd never forget that blissful time of being cooped up in your apartment with you.

"Mmm I love you loki" she whispered in his ears then she kissed his neck and he had to stop her right there.

"Can we do this later? I just feel a little exhausted and I need some rest" she bit on her cheeks as he said that and laid down on her side.

"Fine whatever.. goodnight" she mumbled and he knew she was upset. He wished that she understood how traumatic this was for him. You would have, you always did. The night couldn't have gotten any worse than this.

Next morning you all decided to leave and you just had to see him before you did, so you walked upstairs and you found him playing with Alvis, he had a dark green tunic on with a trouser. You had to stop yourself from breaking down every moment as you thought about never being able to see him once you leave. Priscilla glared at you as you knocked on the door. She was offended you could tell,

"Priscilla can you make tea for me?" He asked her and she raised her brows

"Since when do you drink tea?"

"Ummm I'll take coffee if that's okay?" He asked her and she nodded.

"Don't hurt me more than you have already done Loki" she told him and picked Alvis up then she stormed out of the room

"I uhh sorry about that, I was just leaving and I wanted to see you" you mumbled meekly, you knew you won't be able to talk for long without bursting into tears.

"I am sorry y/n, I really am for everything" his eyes teared up as well and you couldn't stop yourself from sniffling

"Do you..umm do you remember us?" You asked him and he took a deep breath,

"I do, I remember everything, and I'm heartbroken, about us, about our life but I .. I have a responsibility here, a family " you nodded as he said that. You didn't want him to leave everything just for you. You'd never be able to live with yourself if you were the reason behind a family being broken.

"I know..I just.. if I knew that you had a family I never..I never would have–" he cut you off right there, the last thing he wanted for you was to blame yourself for this.

"Just stop please, Y/n, I'm the last person you need to explain yourself to. It wasn't your fault and neither mine, I refuse to believe that we did something horrible, it wasn't wrong..it..I uhh.. It never felt wrong to me" Infact he has never felt so right in his life.

He said it wasn't wrong but it wasn't right either and you knew that.

"It's good to see you talk like that, it feels surreal but I'm very happy to hear you" you forced a smile on your face, you were happy that he came back home but your own heartbreak and the pain just felt excruciating in the moment. You were still in shock and you didn't think this pain would subside anytime soon, or ever.

"Thank you darling, come here please" you shook your head as he stepped forward to hug you but you can't hug him. You can't even touch him, he belongs to someone else and you have already done enough damage to this family. That petname slipped out of his mouth so endearingly as if he have been wanting to do that for a while, his voice was so soft and it made you feel even worse.

"Cat will miss you, I'll send pictures of her, only if you want of course" you told him and he nodded as the tears flowed down from his eyes.

"I would want that very much..yes" he wanted to tell you that he'd love to see your pictures as well but it wasn't appropriate anymore. In a matter of a few hours he lost the right to ask you for something so innocuous. He left this house today as Bluey and returned as Loki. Someone he didn't even want to be anymore.

"Okay I should go..bye bl.. Loki, take care of yourself and be careful, I won't be able to escape you out again" you chuckled between your tears and he nodded as he looked away. You are leaving, going so far away from him and he won't be able to see you again.

You all stepped downstairs and Loki walked you guys down the hill where your cars were parked. You looked around, it really was a beautiful place. When you came here you wondered what it would be like to stay here with him and Cat. But that was a dream and it was time for you to open your eyes and keep them that way, someone already was living your dream and you can't be the reason behind her dreams getting shattered.

"Please if you ever need anything, do not hesitate to call me" Loki gave his telephone number to Bruce and he nodded "Can you do me one more favor?" Loki asked him

"If something happens to her in future, a disease, or a sickness just inform me about it so I can get there and heal her. She saved my life and if I ever get a chance to do the same please let me know because I know ...I know that she won't" Bruce nodded and promised him that he'll be informed in case something happens to you. Him and Natasha sat down inside their car, she wanted to sit with you but you told her to join Bruce. You just wanted to be alone with your thoughts for now. You were going to cry so much and you didn't want anyone to see you so broken.

You looked at him as he closed the door when Natasha got in the front seat, their car was parked in front of you. He walked over to you and you forcefully faked a smile again.

"Just call me whenever you need me, please. I gave him my number" you nodded as he said that. You knew if you continued to stand here and look at him, you would do something horrible and you can't be that person again, can't be that monster that almost ruined the relationship between a wife and husband.

A part of you wished that you never brought him here but then what kind of person would you be if you separated a man from his family? You never wanted to be that person, especially because growing up as an orphan you knew how important it was for a child to have his parents.

"Bye bluey, thank you..for everything, I have lived my happiest life with you in the past few months and I'll never forget you" you got inside the car and he wiped his tears with his thumbs, your words crushed him.

You started to drive away and you noticed him in the rear view mirror, he made the I Love you gesture with his hands and you finally broke down , you just wanted to run to him and hold him tightly. But you knew you couldn't, he wasn't yours to do so. He wasn't just your Bluey anymore.

You taught him to express that he loved you when he was unable to speak or write it down. And he wasn't able to say it to you right now, but he still wanted you to know that he indeed loved you. He needed you to believe that the memories he made with you meant everything to him, that it was all real for him too. Since the moment he met you, he only loved you, in all the ways that he ever wanted to love another person.

All his life, just like you he also felt so vacant, so hollow, nobody could touch his soul and when he found you he never had to second guess it, never had to question it, you heard him even when he didn't speak. You saved him in every possible way.

He loved you so much and he still felt the same. He felt awful about it, he had a wife who he cared for but he wasn't in love with her. He never did love her like that, he never fell in love before he found you. He always thought that he wasn't wired to feel such strong emotions but he was absolutely wrong, he just had to find you. But his fate was cruel like always.

And as he watched your car fade away in the distance and his home driving further away from him more and more. He stood there wishing that he had never gotten his memories back. Then maybe, just maybe, you both could have had your forever, together.

💚💔💚💔💚💔💙💙💚💔💚💔💚💔

Taglist : @el-zef @pinestwinssimp @froggiecky @snigdha-14 @howdidurhammergrowchris @annoyingsweetsstranger @michelleleewise @123forgottherest @nada-duskwood @mcufan72 @xorpsbane @colifower @daddylokisqueen @juulle987 @asgardianprincess1050 @perhaps-just-june @lokisgoodgirl @athwna @eyesbluelikethetitanic @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @lokisninerealms @huntress-artemiss @justasecretwriter @emma-laufeyson @catalina712 @nixymarvelkins

#loki #loki x female reader #jotun loki x reader #loki x reader angst #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki fics #jotun loki au #alternate universe

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iriel3000 · 7 months

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When Will You Let Her Go?

Whumptober Day 8: “It’s all for nothing.”

LAURA WHUMP, emotional whump, light whump

DISCLAIMER: I am legally allowed to torment the fictional character of Laura Barton (and Bruce Banner) this month.

AN: You are going to learn a lot about my writing process this month, sorry. Most of the whump fics will be 3rd or 4th round drafts. I normally spend weeks, if not months editing. Many of these pieces will be written days, if not hours, before the prompt is due. please forgive any spelling or grammar errors, or if these don't seem up to my usual standard.

thank you for indulging me tho😘

Summary: Laura calls the kids while they are in New York with Clint and Kate. part 1 of 3

“Hey, is everybody having fun?”

“Hi, mom!” Lila circled around Kate Bishop's penthouse with her phone, making Laura dizzy on the facetime call. “We’re having the best time! Look at Kate’s place!”

Clint was in New York helping Kate get ready for her first round of SWORD training and had taken Cooper, Lila, and Nate with him.

“Summer in New York is sooo much better than the winter.”

“What have you been doing? Where are your brothers?”

“They’re right here.” She turned the phone towards Cooper and Nate.

Laura blinked. She thought she was looking at an arcade. The room was huge with various ping pong, fooseball , and pool tables, along with old, upright video games. Cooper was playing online games on a theater size screen and Nate had VR goggles on, punching and kicking the air.

“Hi Mom!” Cooper shouted, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Hi, sweetie. Hello, Nathan.”

Nate continued playing.

“He can’t hear you.” Lilia swung the phone back around. “Anyway, we swam at Kate’s friend’s house. She has a pool on the roof of her apartment building!”

“Wow, that sounds fun.”

“Way more fun swimming at the Waverly community pool. We also saw Rogers the Musical again and got to meet the entire cast afterwards.” Lila went into the largest bathroom Laura had ever seen and rummaged through some drawers.

“Thought you guys said that play was silly when you saw it at Christmas?”

“Yeah, but we met some of the actors in Central Park a few days ago, it was really cool. The guy that plays dad does not look like him at all.” She laughed and began putting on makeup. “Ms. Nadia gave us box seats.”

“Miss Nadia?”

“She plays Aunt Nat. She's super nice, Mom, and really pretty. She could be Aunt Nat’s twin; they look that much alike.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh, and she taught me some ballet moves to take back to my class. Ms. Nadia says I should take jazz classes if I want to be on Broadway like her.”

“But, I thought you were…”

“She’s an amazing dancer, Mom. Dad said she can do all the moves from Swan Lake, like Aunt Nat. She said she would teach me those too.”

“Is your dad there?”

“No, Kate is with us.”

“Why? Where did he go?”

“He had to help Ms. Nadia get some stuff for her Black Widow costume. Guess what?”

“What?” She asked, not thrilled with this new information.

Why would Clint need to help the Black Widow dancer with her costume? The play had been running for almost a year.

“Kate got us Taylor Swift concert tickets!! A suite by all of the celebrities. And we get to take a huge purple, Hummer limousine. I can’t wait!”

“You guys are supposed to come home tomorrow.”

“Dad said we could stay a few more days to go to the concert and to the Hamptons with Kate and her friends. It's summer vacation, Mom.”

“I know.” Laura tried not to sound too disappointed.

This weekend was her and Clint's wedding anniversary. The children were supposed to go to their cousin's house to spend the night so she and Clint could have a romantic evening.

They hadn't had much alone time. Since his retirement, Clint had been keeping busy fixing up the house and visiting New York every couple of months to help Kate.

“Come on, please.” Lila begged.

“Lila! Where are you?” Clint hollered in the background.

“Daddy’s home!”

“Home?” Laura balked, but Lila ignored her.

“Dad! Talk to Mom. Shes using that voice when she doesn’t like something.”

“Why?” Clint came in and gave Lila a hug.

“I told her about staying a few days and she has that tone, as usual.” Lila handed the phone to him.

He covered the screen with his hand.

"I'll take care of it." Laura heard Clint whisper.

“Hey, hon.” Clint removed his hand and she saw him check on the boys.

“You’re staying longer?”

“Is that a problem?”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“When I got back here. Didn’t know the kids were going to call you.” Clint walked down a long hallway to a massive kitchen.

“I called, she emphasized the 'I', “ because you were supposed to call me at noon.”

“Kate, where’d we put the putty?” Clint hollered to his protege somewhere in the penthouse.

“Clint!” Laura yelled.

“What?”

She blew out a breath loudly.

“It’s only our anniversary this weekend.”

“Oh, yeah. Happy anniversary, babe.”

“No, this weekend…”

“I’ll send you some flowers and New York candy. The kids and I went to Dylan’s and went crazy.”

Kate came into the room.

“Tell Cooper to finish his game, we gotta go.” Clint said.

"Is that Nadia? Tell her our matching shirts for the concert came in"

“No, it’s Laura.”

“Oh, hi, Laura!” Kate stuck her face into frame and waved.

“Hi, Kate.” Laura tried to muster some enthusiasm.

“Cooper, get Nate and let's go!” Kate bounded out.

“Clint.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He finally looked into the phone. “What were you saying?”

“So, when are you coming home?”

“I changed the flights to Monday.”

“That’s almost another week.’

“It’s not like the kids have school.”

“I thought we could spend our anniversary together.”

“Seventeen years, it’s not one of the milestones.”

“That’s rude.”

“I mean,” he rolled his eyes, “our daughter has a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her favorite singer at Madison Square Garden in premium seats. For free. We could not afford to do this for her. Do you really want to make her come home so we can go to Applebee’s?”

“I guess not.”

“She’ll think you’re the best mom for letting her stay.”

“Well, let me talk to her one more time.”

“She’s already out the door with Kate and the boys.”

Laura didn’t hide her annoyance.

“I promise she’ll call you tomorrow. We have to go meet Nat and the others. Have a good time with your girls.” He set the phone down.

“What did you say?”

“Have a good time." He picked it back up but all Laura could see was walls. "I’ll tell the kids you miss them. Bye, hon.”

“Wait…”

He hung up.

Laura stared at her phone for a long moment before flinging it on the bed. She gathered up the little, black nightie she’d bought for this weekend and shoved it back in the bag.

find the whole series here....laura whump

#whumptober2023 #no. 3 #it's all for nothing #marvel #clintasha #fic #light whump #hawkeye #black widow #laura barton #natasha romanov #clint barton #when will you let her go

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heliads · 2 years

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The Sacrifice, Foreseen

Based on this request: "Strange x Reader: The reader offers to do the snap instead of Tony because she has the same powers at Carol and thinks she could do it. Strange thinks it’s a crazy idea and gets protective of her"

masterlist

Stephen Strange hasn’t been out of his trance for five minutes before you suspect that something is up. Technically, anyone could think that upon seeing him; the man is twitchy, restless, so utterly out of his mind that it would take someone truly sightless to not realize that there was a problem. All the same, you’re the only one who seems to think that there’s a problem.

Everyone else is excused from this lapse in their judgment by the distraction brought by Stephen’s trance. He had used his gifts as the Sorcerer Supreme to look into countless futures and see what chances the universe’s greatest heroes had at stopping Thanos. Fourteen million six hundred and five possibilities he saw, and your allies only won in one.

Needless to say, it’s enough to divert focus from even the most fortified minds. Tony Stark is pacing back and forth on the dusty surface of this ruined planet, trying to come up with some sort of plan the way he always does. Even now, though, anyone can tell that it seems pointless. How do you beat such terrible odds?

You alone see Stephen’s strife. That could be due to your own depth of concern, or just a lack of worry for anything else except him. You’ve been in love with Stephen Strange since you met him a couple of years ago; how could you ever see anything else but him?

Perhaps it’s Stephen’s traveling through futures that inspires you to look to the past. The rush of memories is familiar, reminding you of just how everything went down to bring you to this very moment. You had been one of the first recruits to the Avengers, all thanks to your inhuman ability to conjure bolts of energy and wield them at will. Director Fury had said that it reminded him of a good friend of his, Captain Marvel, and so your position on the team was settled.

Once a certain Doctor Strange started making waves within the more mystical side of earth-saving heroes, Fury had mentioned to you that it would be nice if someone could talk to the guy, figure out his deal. It was strictly off the books, of course, because the less S.H.I.E.L.D. had to get involved with magic, the better. Still, you showed up at the New York Sanctum as asked.

That ended up being one of the best coincidences of your life. It’s also how you ended up meeting Stephen two years before the sorcerer ever appeared out of a portal to talk to Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. Your meeting with him was conducted on much more pleasant terms, and the two of you actually ended up hitting it off.

It’s rare that someone can get through Stephen’s prickly personality to actually make him laugh in earnest, as repeated to you time and time again by Wong. Thus, Stephen knew from that first meeting alone that you were someone he wanted to keep around. The two of you met up again about a week later for coffee and a consortium on extraterrestrial threats, and just like that, he was one of your favorite people to ever walk the earth.

You and Stephen have been dating for quite a while now, and you couldn’t be more glad to have him by your side. The bond between you means that you can count on someone to watch your back in the toughest of fights, even ones like this, when the odds of losing are so impossibly high that it’s hard to stay motivated.

Maybe you don’t want to think about how hard it’s going to be to defeat Thanos. Maybe that’s why you’re distracted from the team planning session on Kicking a Mad Titan’s Ass 101 and instead feel your gaze lock on Stephen, still a ways away from the rest of the group.

You cross the dusty surface of Titan to reach him. He’s standing up, but leaning against the surface of a jagged rock face. He smiles when he sees you, but something in it is tired, as if even this barest effort is too much for even the Sorcerer Supreme to bear.

You arch a brow at his condition. “Everything alright?”

Stephen lifts a shoulder. “Well, I didn’t quite get to my meditation this morning due to a Hulk smashing through the roof of the Sanctum, so things aren’t exactly proceeding as I’d like.”

You smile, as required, but it slips from you soon enough. “What’s wrong, Stephen? You have to believe that I know you too well to think that nothing is the matter.”

Stephen sighs. “Like I said, I looked into every possible future to see how many we would win. The odds are obviously terrible, but even in the one option we win, the road to success is incredibly difficult. The cost is high.”

“The cost of losing is even higher,” you respond, “and at this point, we don’t have many other choices. Do you end up surviving in the one possibility where we win?”

Stephen nods mechanically. “Yes, but others don’t.”

You contemplate this. “Do we have to worry about anything in the immediate battle?”

“Not in the long run,” he grimaces, “but it’s going to be weird. I can’t say too much right now without giving it away, but yes, this battle is going to be alright. Things should work themselves out.”

You lean forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “Then we’ll be alright. Everything else can be handled later, okay? Let’s just work this out right now.”

Stephen is silent for a few moments, and when he finally manages to start speaking again, his voice is hesitant and quiet. “Alright, then. Let’s do this.”

Despite his supposed confidence, you can tell that he’s still holding himself back somehow, as if he doesn’t quite believe what he’s saying. Maybe you don’t have to worry about the consequences of the fight at hand, but you’re certain that there’s something he isn’t telling you. At some point, things will get worse, and that’s when Stephen will really start to worry.

Based on that conversation alone, you thought you knew enough to expect what would happen. Still, losing the Time Stone to Thanos and consequently being snapped away to ash wasn’t exactly in line with your beliefs. The surprise of it is enough to make you regard Stephen with more than a little irritation when you’re finally snapped back.

He’s standing above you, back on Titan. Around you, the Guardians are starting to reappear. As you were dusted, you had fallen to the ground, and Stephen extends a hand to you now, ready to help you up.

You take his offer of aid, of course, but that doesn’t stop you from tossing him a playful glare. “You know, when you said that nothing bad would happen in this fight, I didn’t realize that would mean everyone would turn to dust.”

Stephen raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me your standards for what was considered bad were so high. Make sure to tell me next time.”

He’s smiling, though, and that certainly counts for something. The moment of happiness stretches for a blessed moment, then breaks like a bubble as Stephen seems to remember what has to come next.

Whatever fears are currently wracking Stephen’s brain, though, he keeps to himself until everyone has been portaled to the battlefield. You think it takes place somewhere on earth, maybe even near the Avengers complex, but the surrounding landscape has been blown so to bits that it’s impossible to make out any other details.

What you can see is that the fight at hand won’t be easy, and that Thanos has himself an army of thousands of soldiers all ready for blood. However, Stephen, Wong, and the other Masters of the Mystic Arts were able to summon up a fair amount of fighters as well. This is where it all goes down, right? This is how you win. This is the future that Stephen saw.

The war starts with a thundering of battle cries, and just like that, you’re plunged into combat. You’re separated from Stephen in the beginning, although you’re able to make your way over to him along with a few other Avengers as soon as you can.

Steve Rogers shouts to him over the melee. “What’s the plan? We can’t keep this up forever.”

Stephen shakes his head, opening up a portal around the neck of one of Thanos’ foot soldiers just to snap it shut with an executioner’s flourish. “We won’t have to. Someone needs to get the Infinity Gauntlet so we can snap away Thanos’ army. The only problem is keeping it and the Stones away from Thanos. Also, we need someone who can actually survive the power of doing the snap.”

Steve hurls his shield at a horde of alien fighters. It comes back to him after a pause, splattered with dark blood. He wipes it off on the ground before sending it once more into the thick of the fighting.

“We had Banner do the snap to bring everyone back, but he can’t take that kind of force again. It’ll have to be somebody else.”

You look up and see Stephen’s eyes cloud momentarily with grief. It occurs to you that this must have been the cost he foresaw, the loss that made him regret even winning. The person to snap away Thanos’ army must have been someone who couldn’t take the power of the Infinity Stones, which means that you’ll need someone who can survive it. Someone like–

Someone like you.

A wave of cold fear descends over you, but when you speak, your voice is steady. “I’ll do it.”

Steve and Stephen turn to stare at you in unison. “What?” Stephen asks, his eyes wide.

“I’ll do it,” you repeat, “My powers make me strong. I can take it. I know I can.”

Steve is nodding, but Stephen looks far less happy about the idea. “Absolutely not,” he says, “We have no idea if you’ll live. It’s not worth the risk.”

You laugh bitterly, the sound enveloped in the cries and shouts of the battlefield. “Of course it is, Stephen. If it saves all of us, it’ll be more than worth it.”

“Not to me,” Stephen responds, face tight with worry.

Steve looks between the two of you, evidently picking up on the existing tension. “It’s your call, Y/N,” he says simply, “Don’t feel as if anyone expects you to do this. I have no doubt that we can find someone else who can. There are enough enhanced individuals on our side to more than make up for it.”

A bolt of enemy fire distracts him, and Steve dashes off in the direction of the gunman. You and Stephen are left alone to debate the merits of your intended sacrifice.

“I’m not letting you do this,” Stephen says through gritted teeth, “I’m not taking the risk of losing you. I know who’s supposed to do this, and his death is terrible, but at least it isn’t you. I can’t take losing you, Y/N. You know that. Don’t do this to me.”

You smile sadly at him. “And I can’t take losing you. If I force somebody else to snap away Thanos’ forces, the battle could rage on long enough for you to die. This is my choice, Stephen. I’m going to save all of us.”

Stephen’s face contorts in worry. “Absolutely not. Don’t you even–”

You cut him off mid sentence. “I love you, Stephen. Always. If this doesn’t work, I want you to know that.”

Stephen reaches out a hand to stop you, but before he can do anything, you take off into the sky, leaving him far behind you as you fly away. You spot the Infinity Gauntlet within a few minutes of searching, carried by Peter Parker as he frantically races away from impending doom. You scorch the alien forces around him through your energy blasts, and land next to him.

Peter looks up at you gratefully. “Thanks for the save,” he says, “I was getting worried there for a minute. Your powers are super cool, by the way.”

You laugh. “Thanks, Parker. Mind if I borrow that from you?”

Peter hands over the Gauntlet without a second’s hesitation. “No problem. What are you going to do with it?”

You exhale slowly, trying to keep your voice steady. “I’m going to save us, Peter. I’m ending this.”

Peter’s eyes widen when he realizes what you’re going to do, especially so when Stephen opens up a portal next to you and rushes to you. Before he can reach you, you tug the Infinity Gauntlet over your hand, and let out an involuntary gasp as the power of the Stones flows through you.

Stephen holds out a hand pleadingly. “Don’t do this, Y/N. Please.”

You give him one last smile, just in case he’s right and this doesn’t work. “It’s alright, Stephen. This is the best way I could have gone out.”

A single tear drops from your eye, and before you can think about it a second longer, you snap your fingers. There is a roar in your ears like a hurricane, and then you can think about nothing else at all.

Consciousness comes to you slowly, running in rivulets down your eyes like blood. It takes quite some time for you to be able to register what you’re seeing, or why the face in front of you would look so worried.

Stephen. The person in front of you is Stephen, and he’s kneeling on the ground in front of you. You’ve been propped up against the wreck of a rock formation, you think, and your arms hang listlessly by your side. The pain will hit at some point, you’re sure of that, but for now everything is blissfully still.

“Did it work?” The question is hard to force out of your cracked lips, but Stephen is able to decipher meaning from your whisper.

He nods. “They’re gone, Y/N. You did it.”

You smile, making more blood run down your face. “Good.”

A breath forces itself out of your lungs, jump starting your heart. After that, living is a little easier to do, and you’re able to sit up. The second Stephen realizes that you’re going to be alright, he seems to crumple with relief, and he pulls you into his arms.

“Don’t ever do that again, you hear me?” He says. “I can’t take something like that again.”

You smile against his shoulder. “Not planning on it, trust me.”

From there, you know you’ll be okay. The world will learn to pick up the pieces soon enough, and you’ll have your time to recover, Stephen by your side all the while. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

marvel tag list: @thatfangirl42, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @caswinchester2000, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes

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avengerscompound · 2 years

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The Tower - Loss and Grief

The Tower: Loss and Grief - one shot

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2776

Warnings: Death, Funerals

Synopsis: The group lose Rhodey and have to come to terms with the fact they will outlive all their friends.

Author’s Note: Requested by Jaredwalker94 on AO3. You can send in your requests too.

Loss And Grief

Takes place between Family and Happily Ever After

Losing people is never easy and you never get used to it, even if the ones you are closest to don’t really age. Over the years we’d lost lots of people as well as our pets. The loss could hit differently depending on who it was.

The pets were who we lost first. First Spotty, who made it to 12, and then Tyr a couple of years after that. We had loved them so much and most of the kids didn’t know a world where they didn’t have those dogs with them. We all grieved them immensely, but you expect to outlive your dogs, and we could see it coming with each of them and we were able to prepare ourselves.

When my mother died, we had been expecting it. She had been unwell, and a daughter expects to outlive her mother. I grieved, but even considering the fact we’d worked hard at repairing our relationship, I found what I was grieving most was the years I didn’t get to have a mother that looked out for me, and the fact my children had lost a grandmother who had loved them in a way she had never fully managed to love me.

When one of Steve’s protegees named Jet was killed in battle, he felt it so strongly that he slipped into a depression that lasted months and none of us could seem to get through to him. His grief wasn’t just about losing someone he’d grown to love like a daughter, but the fact he blamed himself for her death. It took so long for him to work through those feelings and we all felt so helpless trying to help him through it. It was a tragic death that came out of nowhere, the kind that everyone experiences at some point in time.

The death of Nick Fury had been hard on all of us. He managed to live a long life considering, but even still, it wasn’t old age that got him, but rather a battle in space with most of the team. He’d had such a huge send-off, and it felt more like a celebration of all the things he’d achieved in his life than the sadness of his loss.

It wasn’t until I’d been part of the group that Clint had nick-named the sex-vengers for a little over thirty years, that we had a friend who we should have aged with, died of old age. Rhodey was the first of our close friends that we lost. It was surreal to watch a friend who was the same age as my husband grow old, get sick, and then pass on while we all stayed the same age. It affected Tony the most. He had these ideas of the two of them growing old together, working side-by-side, settling down at the same time. Getting old and crotchety and bitching about the youth.

In a way it happened, Rhodey and Carol Danvers had an on-again-off-again relationship that started a few years after the birth of Riley and Pietro, and the year that Billy was born, Carol gave birth to a little girl they named Niesha. For years Tony and Rhodey continued to fight side-by-side. Our kids grew up together. Rhodey was as an important and constant part of Tony’s life as he had been from the day they met at MIT. It was just that Rhodey reached the Murtaugh age where he kept complaining about being too old for things, while Tony was still running around like Riggs. Then he retired and Tony was still juggling Avenging, running Stark Industries, and raising kids.

When Rhodey got sick, I think it was when it really hit Tony. He was going to outlive his best friend by not just a few years, but millennia.

Rhodey passed away in his sleep while Tony was home with us, and Carol was staying with Niesha. The nurse said sometimes people waited until they were alone. That bit of knowledge hadn’t helped Tony at all. He jumped straight into the anger stage of grief and took it out on himself. He was so fucking mad at himself for not being there with him at the end, and it seemed to drive him into this frantic organization phase. Rhodey had made it to be the secretary of defense in his career. and the funeral was going to be a huge event.

Riley and Pietro had come down from Asgard for the funeral, and the whole family had gone to DC where it was being held. That meant that we had booked out every suite in the Waldorf Astoria just to fit us in. It also meant that we had to split up between the rooms. I was in the presidential suite sharing a bed with Tony and Bruce, while Marya took the second bedroom. When I woke up the morning of the funeral, it was just me and Bruce in the bed.

I got up to go looking for him, following the thread that connected me to him. He wasn’t in the suite anymore and I had to follow it down to the fitness center. I found him running on one of the treadmills, staring out the window with a scowl on his face. I came up beside him and leaned against the machine. “Couldn’t sleep?”

He didn’t say anything, but he turned up the machine. “Come on, old man,” I said. “We need to go and get ready.”

“I can’t do it,” he said. “Go without me. I can’t stand up and talk about how much he meant to me when I still look like this. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to keep going on and on and on and he gets taken like this. Why should it be different for him as it is for me? I’d sound like a fucking hypocrite.”

“Tony,” I said, frowning. “Life isn’t fair. Nothing about it is. These things you’re feeling now - they were what I was worried about when I agreed to bond with you all in the first place. The idea of losing Clarke is devastating for me. It’s not fair you had to watch Rhodey grow old when you haven’t been. But you loved him and he loved you and if you don’t come today and say goodbye, you’ll regret it. Think about how you feel now about not being there when he went.”

“It’s going to keep happening,” he said. It’s Rhodey today. Then what? Coulson? Hill? Peter?”

“All of them,” you agreed. “And it sucks. It’s always going to suck. But we’ll have each other. Won’t we? We’ll be there for each other when it happens. And when it’s me that’s the one that’s completely devastated, you’ll be there for me. We all loved Rhodey. Let us be there for you. And you be there for us. And Neisha. She needs her Uncle Tony today.”

I was crying by the time I was done speaking. He turned off the treadmill and stopped running it, letting it roll him to the end as it slowed and then stopped. “I should have just taken off.”

“You know I have Synergy with me. I would have found you,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said. “I suppose you would have.”

“Come on. We have to shower and get dressed before we meet everyone for breakfast. And they have lobster waffles.”

He got off and put his arm around my waist. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and we went back up to our suite.

After breakfast with the family, we took several cars to the hall where the service was taking place. We took our seats at the front with Carol and Neisha, and when everyone was seated a stripped-down version of Kiss’ War Machine started to play. I couldn’t help but smile at the very personal and quite silly touch that had been added to the funeral. Everyone stood as six air force officers carried Rhodey’s coffin down the aisle between the seating, held on their shoulders and with the US Flag draped over it. When the coffin was placed on the stand amongst the flowers and a photo of him in his prime, dressed in his blue dress uniform, everyone took their seats and Thor moved up to the plinth.

“Let us take a few deep breaths to prepare ourselves. Breathe deeply and remember the love you have and the joy you share,” he said and lowered his head. He took three deep breaths and the crowd followed with him, centering ourselves. He raised his head again and looked out at the crowd. “And so we begin. Friends, family, admirers, and loved ones, we are here today to remember a remarkable man. James Rhodes grew up poor in Philadelphia and was subject to many hardships, yet he was focused and driven and he fought hard to get where he wanted to be in life. He made it to MIT on a scholarship, and then joined the Air Force. He rose in the ranks quickly due to his skills and intelligence, and when Tony Stark created a suit of armor and became the hero Iron Man, Rhodey followed on with a suit of his own that he called War Machine. He won the heart of the remarkable woman, Major Carol Danvers, and they had a daughter together. He was well loved, and well respected, and was one of those rare people who left a mark on all who knew him. I now invite his family and friends to speak.”

Neisha got up first. The twenty-five-year-old was such an even blend of both her parents. She had inherited her mother’s powers and both of their determination and intelligence. Today she wore a black two-piece suit with a tapered vintage jacket that reached her knees. Her black curls were held back from her face with a black scarf that wrapped around her neck and draped over her shoulder.

“My dad was the best dad. He wasn’t perfect by any means - what man is? But he loved me, and he did his best, and that’s all that anyone can ask. He was protective - sometimes to the point that you might call him a helicopter parent, which was funny considering I was born with invulnerability and the ability to fly. It was pretty funny as a kid, being told to be careful when climbing a tree when falling out of it wouldn’t particularly hurt.

“Still, as protective as he could be, he never held me back from reaching my potential. I was told to be careful, not no. Sometimes he’d hover over me or explain why something was a bad idea. Sometimes he’d make me stop and talk through a plan and he’d discuss the risks of that plan. I never felt like there was a thing in the universe that I couldn’t do if I put the work in. And when you’re parents are James Rhodes and Carol Danvers, those sights can be set really high.”

She stopped and wiped the tears from her cheeks, and I did the same, taking a moment to get out some kleenex from my handbag and wipe my face. She took a deep breath before she continued. “He made sure I got to just be a kid, and that I knew there would always be people there to protect me - usually it was him. I love my dad, and the only thing I would change would be that he decided to have me sooner because I hate that I only got to have him in my life for 25 years. I’m going to miss him every day for the rest of my life, but I was blessed to have him for the time I did. I love you, dad.”

She went to sit back down, but Carol got up and hugged her, holding her close and nuzzling into her hair. When they broke apart, Carol went up to the podium. “What can I say about James Rhodes?” she said. “He is the most remarkable man I’ve ever met, and I’m surrounded by remarkable people. He is the only person I could have ever imagined settling down with because he was the only person who never expected me to. It’s no secret that our relationship was on again/off again. When we broke up it was never because we weren’t getting along, it was always because we were giving each other the space to achieve something separate from the relationship. They never felt like actual breakups, more that we were taking time to be together apart.

“You all know about his achievements. His Ph.D. from MIT. His impressive military career. War Machine. But only the blessed few got to experience the man on a personal level. He was the kind of man who believed in tough love. He didn’t let people get away with shit and if they were wrong, he made sure they knew it. He was as loyal as a person could be and expected the same kind of loyalty back. He was supportive and stubborn and so fucking smart. Not just book smart either. He was street smart, emotionally smart, and smart in all the ways a person can be. I loved him so fucking much, and I will continue to love him until the end of time. We had a life together. A family. He gave me a daughter when I never expected to be a mother. The world is not as bright without him in it.”

She came to sit down and I gave Tony’s arm a rub. He wiped his eyes and got up. I had never seen him so nervous about giving a speech before. He tapped his fingers on the podium as he centered himself. “Rhodey was my best friend. No - he was more than that. He was the brother I never had. I have a lot of people in my life I’m close with, but the thing I had with Rhodey was special and can’t be compared to the other relationships in my life.

“I was fifteen when I met Rhodey, and let me tell you, he was not exactly happy about the rich, entitled, white kid, coming in and latching on to him. But I am incredibly charming and it wasn’t long until whatever trouble I was getting up to, he wasn’t far behind shaking his head. I loved him so fucking much, I think if he had been in any way attracted to men, I’d have settled down a lot sooner and ended up having a much different life. That’s not what happened, but even still, he was always there. He was the one who found me when I was kidnapped. He was there when I first took a stab at love. He was there when I ruined it and it blew up in my face. He was there when I let my heart open again - even when he thought my relationship was weird and he didn’t understand it. He was there when my babies were born. He was always there and now he’s not - and it’s not fair. It’s not fair that he doesn’t get to see how things turn out for his daughter. It’s not fair he’ll never get to walk her down the aisle. It’s not fair that I get to go on and on with the people I love and he doesn’t. I don’t know who I’ll call when I have exciting news about my family. I don’t know who I’ll take out drinking and make toasts with when my kids start getting married and having kids of their own. I don’t know who I’ll take out and test my new tech with. None of this is fair. Rhodey, I love you, buddy. I wish you could be here and see how many people turned out for you, but then I guess that’s not how funerals work.”

By the time Tony was done with his Eulogy tears were streaming down his face. I was weeping openly too, as was Wanda, and Sam. When Tony sat back down beside me, Bruce and I, wrapped our arms around him and let him sob between us as we held him.

I didn’t know if these kinds of things would get any easier. I hoped not. Love was the thing that defined us as a group more than anything else. Grief was hard, but I wanted to keep being able to love people this strongly even knowing that it would end like this every time.

~ END ~

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letthewhumpbegin · 1 year

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Didn't See That Coming - Avengers

Fandom: Avengers (Age of Ultron) Characters: Pietro Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner Prompt: This was written for the prompt "Taking the Bullet" off my @badthingshappenbingo card. (Card at the bottom of this post). Word count: 3178 Warnings: mentions of gunshot wounds, blood, medical procedures.

A/N: this is set during Age of Ultron, and holds some spoilers for that movie. Also, this is AU to the ending of Age of Ultron, so if you don't like that, don't read 😉

He saw the child cowering among the rubble, and he saw Ultron's aircraft getting closer. As was the rain of bullets Ultron sent from his weapons without any pause.

Clint made the decision in a split-second. The risk was high that one, or more, of Ultron's bullets was going to hit him, possibly even fatally harm him, but he just could not allow that little boy to be slaughtered in front of his eyes. No, he had to at least try and do something.

Clint jumped out of the small jet that was evacuating people out of Sokovia, and ran to the child. He immediately took the little boy in his arms, pressing him close to his body. It was a desperate attempt to shield this young life from the rain of bullets he knew was coming.

The bullets impacted on the ground all around him and came ever closer. Clint expected to get hit any second now, when he felt the strangest sensation. It felt almost as if he was being blown away by a sudden gust of wind.

Clint slowly opened his eyes when he heard the rain of bullets subside, but the pain of being hit stayed out. He looked at the little boy still in his arms, who also seemed to be unharmed. "What the...?" Clint mumbled non-understandingly. He released the boy from his protective grasp, who immediately ran away to its mother.

It was only then that Clint's eye fell on Pietro standing a few feet away from him. Well, standing?

The young man was swaying on his feet, and all over his body crimson stains appeared on his clothes. "You didn't see that coming?" Pietro tried to keep up his bravado, but his voice was laced with pain. "Oh, no..." Clint mumbled brokenly. He realized immediately that it had been Pietro who had pulled him out of the line of fire, and that it was Pietro who had caught the full wad of bullets instead.

"No, no, no..." Clint scrambled to his feet. He was just able to catch Pietro in his arms, as the young man's legs gave out on him. "Why?! Why would you do this?!" Pietro smiled faintly up at Clint, showing already bloodstained teeth. "Couldn't watch you get killed, now could I?" "You should have thought about your sister!" Clint had never felt so powerless. "She tells me... you have wife and children..." Pietro's speech was getting more difficult with every word.

Clint felt as though he had been dealt a blow to the stomach. Pietro's last remark got to him way more than he thought anything ever could.

Suddenly, a new-found willpower and determination washed over Clint. "You're not going to die," he said to Pietro, "hold on, I'm getting you to help." Clint lifted Pietro off of the ground and into his arms. He turned on the spot and made way for the aircraft as fast as he could.

"Wait! Hold it!" Clint yelled at one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents locking the aircraft and readying it for take-off. "I've got a severely injured one here. I need you to take us straight to the helicarrier. This man needs urgent medical care." "Yes, sir!" The agent slammed the door of the aircraft shut behind Clint the moment he set foot aboard.

Clint stumbled over to the first row of chairs he came across, and carefully lay Pietro down on them. For the first time, Clint truly looked at the young man's injuries and was horrified by what he saw. He counted at least a dozen gunshot wounds all over Pietro's body. All the wounds were of different levels of severity, but at least half of them could prove fatal by themselves alone. It was a miracle the kid had pulled through as far as he had already.

Pietro had lost consciousness by now. He was taking panting, irregular breaths that did not quite seem to reach his lungs, and sometimes a soft groan in pain escaped his bloodstained lips. His body twitched from time to time, which was undoubtedly caused by shock setting in.

Clint sank to the ground by the chairs. He had his hands pressed firmly onto Pietro's torso, trying to keep pressure on as many of the bullet wounds he could reach. But despite his efforts, Pietro's blood still spilled onto the chairs, and was staining Clint's hands and clothes. Clint momentarily closed his eyes, sadly shaking his head. "Why did you do this, kid...?"

"Is there anything I can do to help, sir?" The agent Clint had spoken to just now approached quietly. He stared horror-struck at the bloody mess that was Pietro. "No," Clint answered wearily, "just get us to the medical post as soon as possible." "Two minutes out, sir," the agent answered, "and I took the liberty to inform Dr. Banner of your imminent arrival. He will be waiting for you when we land." Clint nodded, sincerely thankful for the agent's help. "Good man."

The two remaining minutes of flight felt like hours to Clint. Pietro's condition was critical, and Clint feared every irregular, hitched breath could be the kid's last. Clint wasn't sure how much longer Pietro would be able to cling to life, but he vehemently wished it would be long enough to get him to help. "Hang in there, kid, hang in there..."

---

The moment the aircraft's wheels touched down on the deck of the helicarrier, Clint took up Pietro in his arms again and immediately disembarked. He hadn't even fully set foot aboard the helicarrier, or Bruce was by his side.

"Oh my god..." Bruce was shocked to see the state Pietro was in and the extent of the injuries. "I thought they exaggerated when I was told he was hit over a dozen times." "Unfortunately not," Clint answered darkly.

Bruce quickly waved over a few nurses, who hurried over in their direction with a gurney. "Can you save him?" Clint asked, placing Pietro carefully on the gurney. "I don't know," Bruce answered honestly, "his injuries are extreme, and it looks like he's lost a lot of blood. I've got a team standing by to take him into surgery right away, but... we might already be too late."

Clint was expecting to be told that, but it still felt like he had been dealt another blow to the stomach. "Please, do what you can for him." Bruce nodded his head, before he followed the nurses inside.

---

Once in the operating room, a team of surgeons and nurses, including Bruce, started their work on Pietro. "Get an IV-line going," Bruce instructed, "start blood transfusions and get him under full anesthetic."

As soon as Pietro was connected to a heart monitor, a fast rhythm of beeps came from the machine. Bruce stared at it with a deep frown creasing his brow. This heart-rate was fast, way too fast, but at least it was a regular rhythm. Still, it came to show how dire Pietro's situation truly was. "Come on, people, work fast," Bruce encouraged the entire team of surgeons and nurses.

Bruce and three other surgeons surrounded the operating table, as one of the nurses cut Pietro's shirt from his body. The frown on Bruce's brow deepened even further at the sight of the bare wounds. It was a downright miracle Pietro was still alive! Bullets had struck into him in many places, and almost his entire torso was smeared with his own blood.

"Alright, everyone, let's work swiftly." Bruce stood at Pietro's left side, near his shoulder, and attended the wounds in that area. The other three surgeons each tended to wounds in the area of Pietro's body they stood closest to.

The four of them set to work on the almost impossible task of saving Pietro's life, but they would not give up on him until they had tried absolutely everything.

---

Bruce had never worked more swiftly in his entire life, but a lot depended upon it. He had already stopped the bleeding on three of the wounds and sutured them up. Just two more wounds needed his attention in his area. The other surgeons, too, made steady progress. At least half of Pietro's wounds had been attended to by now, but a few nasty ones were still bleeding quite freely.

Bruce cast a quick glance at Pietro's face. The Russian was extremely pale, and his blonde hair was plastered to his head by sweat and blood. Bruce noticed a few spasm-like twitches of Pietro's head. It was minute, but rapid enough for Bruce to fear that the anesthetic was already wearing off.

"Keep an eye on him." Bruce warned the nurse who stood near Pietro's head. "If that gets worse, you give him another dose of the anesthetic." "He's already at the maximum, sir," the nurse protested. "He has survived plenty of experiments on him," Bruce answered, "and his body works in strange ways because of it. Trust me, this will be the least dangerous thing that was ever done to him." "But, sir..." The nurse protested again. "Just do it. We do not need any of his rapid movements right now." Bruce spoke in a controlled way, but the finality of his order was clear.

Suddenly, one of Pietro's arms twitched, clearly noticeable for all persons in the room and much faster than anyone was comfortable with. "Now, please," Bruce urged the nurse. She nodded wordlessly and quickly injected another dose of the anesthetic into Pietro's IV line. The young man's twitching quickly lessened until he finally lay completely still again. "Alright," Bruce sighed, relieved, "if he even thinks of doing that again, you hit him with another dose."

Now that Pietro was under full anesthetic again, Bruce quickly checked the Russian's well-being on the monitors surrounding him. The heart monitor still showed a rhythm that was too fast to be normal, and his blood pressure was still alarmingly low.

"How are we with stopping the bleeding from the wounds?" Bruce asked the other surgeons in general. "I'm having some trouble here," one of the surgeons answered. He was indicating where a bullet had torn through Pietro's abdomen. "Okay, keep working on it," Bruce instructed, "and continue the blood transfusions. We need to get his blood pressure up."

Bruce watched the other surgeons work for a few seconds. Apart from the troubles they were still having, most of the wounds were treated and had stopped bleeding. Bruce took it as somewhat of a good sign that Pietro had pulled through so far, but he knew it could still go either way. "Come on, kid," Bruce quietly mumbled the encouragement, "if anyone can pull through this, it's you."

---

Everyone worked tirelessly on Pietro for over five hours, but finally the bleeding was stopped on all his wounds. The Russian had had to receive two more doses of anesthetic to fully keep him under during the operation, but it was a risk Bruce was more than willing to take.

The moment Bruce finished the final suture, a feeling of indescribable relief and exhaustion washed over him. Their mission had been to stop the bleeding and save the kid's life, and for now they had succeeded. Pietro was nowhere near out of danger yet, Bruce was well aware of that. There were still many things that could go wrong, and there was a very real chance he could still succumb to his wounds, but for now Bruce took this victory.

"Bandage all the wounds." Bruce passed around the final instructions. "And give him two more bags of blood. Transfer him to one of the private recovery rooms once you're done." "Will do," one of the nurses answered. "And keep a close eye on him," Bruce finished with a tired sigh, "we can't let him slip away now."

---

Bruce walked out of the operating room and quickly changed into his regular clothes. Undoubtedly a few people were waiting for news on Pietro.

As soon as Bruce set foot into the medical wing's waiting area, he was enveloped by a flash of scarlet. "Tell me," Wanda sobbed, her hands tightly holding onto Bruce's arms. Tears stained her face and her eyes were red from crying. "Is my brother still alive?" Clint stood a little further down the room, but looked equally worried and worn out. "He pulled through so far," Bruce answered, "but he's severely injured and weak. It's still too early to tell if he'll survive this." "Thank you," Wanda said softly, "I know you did all you could for him, and for that I am grateful."

"Can she see him?" Clint asked on Wanda's behalf. "You can," Bruce nodded, "they're taking him to one of the recovery rooms now." "I'll take you there." Clint put an arm around Wanda's trembling shoulders and slowly guided her away. "Thank you, Bruce," the archer said softly as he passed.

---

Clint guided Wanda to the recovery room. Pietro was under close surveillance, but had the room to himself. Wanda entered first. The moment she lay eyes upon her brother, she gasped audibly, clasping her hands over her mouth. She silently shuffled over to the bed and watched her brother as he lay there.

Clint kept a respectful distance, but even from a few feet away he could see the tears rolling down Wanda's cheeks. And he had to admit: seeing Pietro like this was no pretty sight. Bandages covered almost Pietro's entire chest, and where skin was visible there were electrodes stuck for the heart monitor. Both his arms had IV line in them, one for the blood transfusions that were still going on, and the other one for all the necessary fluids and medicine he was receiving. The blonde strands of his hair were caked together with dried up blood, and he looked altogether more dead than alive.

"What did he do to deserve this?" Wanda sobbed quietly. "He's a fighter," Clint said softly, "he won't go down easily." Wanda remained quiet and took Pietro's hand in hers. She stared at her brother's unconscious face and pale features.

"He was always the one protecting me," Wanda mumbled after a while of silence. "He risked his life before, but never like this." Clint watched her silently, as she clearly broke even further apart in front of him. "He would beat up the kids that picked on me when we were younger," Wanda continued, "he would chase them around the block, cursing and yelling at them." "Everything a brother should do for his sister," Clint said with the hint of a smile. "And now he might never do any such thing again." Fresh tears fell from Wanda's eyes and here words were barely audible now.

"Hey, hey." Clint rushed forward to sling a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Come on, now, you mustn't think like that." Wanda sniffled. "But I have to accept there is a chance he still dies." "Where there's a chance that he dies, there's also a chance that he lives," Clint comforted.

Clint guided Wanda to one of the chairs next to Pietro's bed and sat her down upon it. He knelt down in front of her, looking deep into her tear-filled eyes. "Sit here and be with him," Clint said softly, "I'll leave you alone with him, either way you need it." Wanda wiped some of the tears off her cheek, nodding silently. "If you need me, just send one of the nurses for me, okay?" Clint reassured her once more. "Okay," Wanda mumbled.

Clint silently rose to his feet and quietly exited the room, leaving Wanda alone with her brother.

---

At some point Wanda had fallen asleep in the chair by Pietro's bedside. It wasn't a deep sleep, more of a light slumbering, but at least it had calmed her down somewhat.

She was awoken by the sounds of someone entering the room. She opened her eyes to look at the newcomer, and found Bruce quietly closing the door behind him. "I'm sorry," Bruce spoke softly, "I didn't mean to wake you." "It's alright." Wanda hoisted herself a little more upright in the chair. "I wasn't really sleeping anyway."

Bruce walked further into the room and stared intently at the monitors surrounding Pietro. He shortly pressed his fingers against the pulse point of Pietro's wrist, and shortly rested a hand on the young man's chest.

"How's he doing?" Wanda asked nervously. "Well..." Bruce glanced at all the numbers and statistics on the screens once more. "Given the circumstances, I'm quite satisfied. His heart-rate is calmer, his breathing is stronger, and even his blood pressure is climbing to more healthy levels."

Wanda was about to ask more questions, when Pietro suddenly stirred. He fitfully rolled his head, mumbling something in a language Bruce didn't understand. "What's he saying?" Bruce asked Wanda, for he suspected that it was their native language. Fresh tears rolled down Wanda's cheeks. "He's asking for me-- if I've made it out of Sokovia."

Wanda gently caressed Pietro's arm. The moment her fingers touched his skin, Pietro leaned into her touch as much as he could. "Wanda..." "I'm here," she sobbed softly, "I'm alright, I'm here with you." Pietro stirred again, and this time he marginally opened his eyes, looking glassily up at his sister. "Oh!" Wanda gasped, bringing her brother's hand up to her face and kissing his fingers.

"Pietro?" Bruce inched closer to his patient. He had been expecting a lot, but not for Pietro to wake up so soon already. Even though it was only a state of semi-consciousness and Pietro looked utterly weak, this was more than Bruce could have asked for.

"Pietro?" Bruce asked again. It took a few seconds, but finally Pietro managed to somewhat focus his gaze on the doctor. "Can you tell me what year it is?" Bruce started the standard questions to determine the effect the loss of blood might have had on Pietro. "In whatever fucking year it was armageddon." Pietro's voice sounded slurred and lifeless, but at least he was interacting. Bruce chuckled softly. "Honestly now, please." "2015." "Good. And do you know who I am?" "Bruce Banner."

"Thank you. Rest up now." Bruce shortly rested a hand on Pietro's forearm. "I won't bother you with any more questions." He made to walk away and leave Wanda with her brother, when Pietro stopped him.

"Dr. Banner?" Pietro now fully shifted his gaze to Bruce. "Barton and the child? Did they make it?" Bruce nodded. "They're alive and well." Pietro smiled briefly, before he closed his eyes again. It only took a few seconds for him to glide off into either sleep or unconsciousness again. His short moment of wakefulness had taken a lot of him already, but he now knew it had at least not been for nothing.

Bruce looked over the monitors surrounding Pietro one more time. He slowly nodded in satisfaction. Things could still go either way for Pietro, but suddenly Bruce had a distinct feeling that everything would be fine in the end.

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#avengers #avengers age of ultron #age of ultron #pietro maximoff #wanda maximoff #bruce banner #clint barton #whump writing #bad things happen bingo #bthb #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #whump fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction

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dame-nervy · 1 year

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"You didn't think of me once?" (Bruce Banner x Reader)

After Bruce Hulked out and disappeared, you thought you'd never see him again. Then there was an alien attack on New York and you saw a familiar green figure all over the news, yet it was still months after that before you saw Bruce with your own eyes.

[angst] [no grammar check or second read through at all]

A/N; GUESS who's had absolutely no desire to write for the past several months and still has no desire to write but realises that she should write something so that she hopefully wont loose the small following she has and chose to randomly pick a concept idea she once had and now has no recollection of why she picked it? It's me. I'm her. Thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoy.

"I guess it was inevitable, but I still don't like it." Seeing Bruce again had brought up many emotions, but the one that won the charge on how you were going to act was bitter spite. "Hello Y/n. How have you been?" Bruce's uncomfortable formality made you grind your teeth together as you turned away from him. "Don't play pleasantries Banner. You've been in New York for months now and I don't even get a phone call? Though truthfully I shouldn't be surprised, now should I? I'm no Betty Ross."

Bruce frowned at you as you gave a slight glance over your shoulder as you said the last part. "that's not fair-" You cut him off with a light tone as you turned fully to him "isn't it? We were best friends Bruce. More than that at one point. But then again, 'I wasn't really all that smart' now was I?" you quoted something you had once heard Betty say about you as Bruce and a group of his science friends sat around, him right next to her. Bruce looked away, unable to deny it as he remembered the laugh Betty did after she said it, like she was joking, which hadn't been helped when everyone else had joined in as well. "How's your mother?" Bruce asked, trying to move the situation along. "She died. During New York." You informed him as you swallowed hard, still finding it hard to talk about. "I'm sorry." Bruce genuinely told you, though your next words stunned him. "Don't be, she hated you in the end." He stopped, shocked about what he'd heard before realising what caused it. "Because of the other guy." He said with certainty. "Because you vanished." You corrected him, creating a silence between yourselves as you both just looked at each other.

"I would have come with you." You practically whispered. "I couldn't ask you to leave your life." Bruce told you as he shook his head in disbelief that you'd even suggest such a thing. "You also couldn't say goodbye." Bitterness working it's way back into your speech. "I was running Y/n. I didn't even get a chance to pack my toothbrush." Bruce spat back, finally getting sick of your attitude. You were taken aback by this, now being your turn to stand silent. Without your response, Bruce assumed that your reunion over, starting to make his way towards the door. "I spent so much time wonder and worrying about you." Your statement stopped Bruce, causing him to turn back to you, an anxious look on your face before you asked, "You didn’t think of me once?" The silence deafened you as his head angled down, eyes drawn to the floor as he spoke.

"It’s better this way."

And again, he was gone from your life. Leaving you alone as your tears fell down your face. The only difference between this time and last time was that this time you knew for sure he wasn't going to call.

#Avegers #x reader #Hulk #Bruce Banner #Bruce banner x reader #avengers x reader #writing #one shot

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trashywormeateroffics · 2 years

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The right universe.

Summary: After Y/N's life turns upside down, she's full of grief. Somehow, one day, she manages to travel to the MCU, where she meets her favorite characters, including a certain god who seems willing to establish a friendship with her. Suddenly she's enwrapped in this new world, where everything she loved in a screen is now reality. How will she react? Will she be able to deal with the ghosts that haunt her? Or will she let them consume her? Will she be open to accept the love she is offered? Read to find out!

Read this on AO3!

Category: F/M.

Relationships: Loki/reader.

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Vision (Marvel), Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Stephen Strange, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, other minor appearances of other characters but these are the main ones, Pepper Potts, Loki (Marvel).

Additional tags: Loki/reader - Freeform, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluffyfest, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining a lot because we love to suffer, Domestic Avengers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a parental figure, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Everyone is a good bro, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, y/n, After Infinity War but no one died and the purple bitch was defeated, Missions, Y/N is a universe traveller, Grief, Therapy, Protective Loki (Marvel), Loki in love.

MASTERLIST OF THE STORY

Chapter 28: The rescue, part II.

“Wake up!” Ingrid.

“Huh?” Y/N said, confused. She had been beaten up by a few men after insulting her. She felt nauseous, they had kicked her stomach to no end; and her lip and brow were bleeding non stop.

“I said, wake up princess.” Ingrid grinned. “My father is ready to meet you.”

She couldn't fight, so she did not when two men came and grabbed her by her arms, taking her outside the cement room and into a dark long hall.

They stood in front of a dark wooden door and knocked, waiting in silence. Sarah, or Ingrid, was as serious as she had ever seen her. She seemed almost… scared?

The door opened, revealing a tall man with dark sunglasses. He motioned for the other two men to come inside and they did, dropping Y/N on a chair in front of a desk. They left, but not before tying her up tightly, making her unable to move in any direction.

She was left alone in there; the room was silent. They had to be close right? It had been at least a few hours, and by each passing second she was feeling more and more unsure. Before she could give it much thought, the door opened and someone entered.

“Well, hello.” A grey-haired man said. “Finally we meet.” His hair, apart from the color, was slicked back with a lot of gel, like one of those villains in movies. Or like Loki in Avengers, she almost laughed at that, forgetting for a second where she was and what was happening.

“Do you not speak?” The man asked.

“What would you like me to say?” She asked defiantly.

“Mhm,” he hummed in amusement. “I see you are rather bold for a girl in your situation.”

“And what is my situation exactly? Who are you?” Y/N asked, lifting her chin up.

“My name is Oscar,” he smiled wickedly. “And you are Y/F/N, the universe traveller.”

“The what?” She inquired, playing dumb. But he saw through it immediately and slapped her across the face.

“Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about girl!” He yelled and Y/N cracked a small, wicked smile.

“Touch me one more time and I will destroy you.” Oscar barked out a laugh.

“You are helpless, sweetheart.” He walked closer to her. “I'd recommend you don't threaten me or I will make you feel so much pain you will beg for me to kill you.” He said, his voice getting threateningly low. Y/N stared at the floor. She wasn't gonna do anything, figuring it was the smartest move… until he touched her hair. He caressed it as if it were an intimate gesture, and right in that moment, everything turned red.

---------------------------

“She's moving,” Loki said, making everyone stop.

“Where?” Steve asked.

“Closer… to us.”

----------------------------

She ran and ran through the woods, her body trembling furiously. It hurt, everything hurt. What she had done, she could not believe it. She didn't know how, but she had spilled more blood than any enemy she ever met.

Running and panting and crying, she saw him. And he saw her.

“Lok-” She began saying but before she could finish, everything turned black.

~taglist~ @mischief2sarawr @midnights-ramblings @mealoncholy-hill @paetonnn

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lailyn · 1 year

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MTH 2022 Auction Fill

@marveltrumpshate auction fill fic for selenae.

Summary:

Extremis has taken its toll on Pepper's body, and her life is now hanging by a thread. A desperate Tony prays for a miracle, and.a certain Norse God happens to be paying attention.

Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts, Loki & Thor, Tony Stark & Stephen Strange

Time did not exist in a place like this.

"Boss."

Tony shoved the brown paper bag out of his face. The smell of grease lingered in his nose, on his fingers.

Good intentions aside, Happy had better had another job lined up. In fact, termination might just be too kind.

"Get out of here, Happy."

"You need to eat, Boss. You haven't had a proper meal in days." A small noise of disgust escaped Happy's nose. "Not to mention a wash."

"You know I can't," Tony said softly.

"Ms Potts ain't gonna be happy seeing you like this when she wakes up."

"She hasn't been happy for a while now, Happy."

"Not your fault, Boss."

Happy Hogan, ladies and gentlemen, loyal to a fault.

"Never said it was." Of course it is.

(Because I had created demons, and I didn't even know it.)

What Tony had once said to Bruce Banner, he did not need to say to Happy, who had first-hand experience of what Extremis could do.

"What time is it?"

"Half past two, Boss."

"P.m.?"

The bewildered expression on Happy's face spoke louder than words.

"No windows in this place," Tony stifled his defensive mumble with a hand over his mouth. God, he needed a shave.

"Why don't you take a walk," Happy suggested gently. "I can sit with her for a while."

"But what if - "

"I'll call you."

Stepping out of the room, Tony was momentarily taken aback by the glare from the overhead lights. Brighter than the sun these things were; he was not surprised to find himself seeking the darkness.

Tony did not know where the dim and deserted corridor led, but it was devoid of signs and the flooring did not look as well-trodden as some of the others. So there were only a few possible places he could be heading to: the janitor’s closet, the morgue, or…

Multi-Faith Centre, it read in calming gold letters over the double wooden doors.

It was a dead-end, and the only way out of there was to turn back, or through the window.

Tony looked out. His reflection stared back at him, haggard and pale.

Yeah, nah. He looked like a ghost already.

The prospect of someone finding him here, in a chapel no less, was slim to none.

He gave the door a tentative push. It swung open silently.

The room was sparsely furnished with generic beige walls and low lighting. Several rows of empty pews greeted him with their beckoning silence.

So this was where people came to meditate, to pray or just to cry, if one was lucky enough to be alone.

Tony walked down the aisle and slid into the first pew on his right. He felt the need to be close to the window somehow.

He stared at the stained glass centrepiece. Whoever had chosen the Tree of Life motif clearly had taste; its minimalism was a refreshing change from the usual overdone ornateness one would expect to see in a place like this.

Hell, he was not much of a prayer.

But Tony found himself praying now to whichever God was listening.

Please God don't take her.

Don't take her. Not Pepper.

"You might want to speak up a bit," a voice spoke suddenly. "Can't quite hear you in the back."

Tony stopped breathing. He turned to look over his shoulder slowly, and his heart sank.

He knew the lone figure sitting in the very last pew very, very well.

"You can't be here."

"It's a free country, last I checked." The figure gave a smirk, sinister and all too familiar. "Why? Do you own the hospital?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

A sardonic chuckle. "Of course you do. You can't stand the idea of not owning everything."

"How did you get past security?" Tony regretted the unintelligent question the moment it left his lips.

“How indeed…” A glint of gold flashed in the dark. Was it Loki's eyes? Or teeth? “What makes you think I am even here at all?"

"If I'm going to hallucinate, you would be the last person on earth I would hallucinate about."

"I didn't know you get to choose," Loki commented casually. "I must be on your mind a lot, then."

“Well, you do still owe me for that window.”

“That is simply not acceptable. How shall I rectify this…” Loki tapped his fingernails against the shiny lacquer of the pew. “Now I could save her for you.”

“Save…her?”

The rapping stopped. “Save her life, yes. A life for a window. Not exactly a fair exchange, is it?”

Loki heaved a theatrical sigh. “Should have given me that drink, Tony. I could have called us even.”

“She’s beyond saving.”

There it was, out in the open. Tony’s deepest fear and darkest secret, spilled to Loki, of all people.

He braced himself for ridicule, which never came.

“If that is what you believe, then why are you here?” Loki leaned against the backrest, opening his arms and legs wide. “So. Tell me. What is your best offer? Now, do remember, I am a god. I want for nothing.”

Finding the gesture a tad too obscene to stomach, Tony let his gaze drift, finally fixating on something over Loki’s shoulder.

The painting on the wall was one of a family, crude stick-like figures in all the colours of the rainbow huddling around a campfire. A patient must have drawn it. He wondered for a moment if the child who drew it was still alive.

He needed to see it up close.

He rose and walked down the aisle.

By the time he realised he was actually heading for the exit, Tony forced his legs to stop. Before his knees could give way, he fell into the pew closest to him.

Tony turned his head slowly. Their faces were so close he could smell the wine on Loki’s breath.

This was a creature who appreciated the finer things in life.

(If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now)

Tony never did make good on that offer, did he? Now was as good a time as any.

“You want something. Everyone does."

“I am not like everyone.”

“You are no different.” Tony's eyes burned but he would rather die than be the first to blink. “Or you wouldn’t be here.”

“You think too highly of yourself,” Loki finally huffed, breaking the staring contest. “Maybe I was just taking a stroll down the promenade. Maybe I was just bored. Maybe I heard you call.”

“I didn’t call for you.”

“And yet here we are. Here I am. Right in front of you.” Loki cocked his head. “You do know how the concept of prayer works?”

Tony’s jaw tightened. “Don’t know. Never tried.”

(Never worked)

Loki's empty, vacuous laugh propelled the room into a darkness so insidious a chill curled at the base of Tony's spine.

"Then you should have been more specific. Any other God could have answered your call, some much less benevolent than I."

"Yeah…you're benevolent, alright," Tony drawled. "You sure you don't have somewhere else to be, Oh Benevolent One?"

"You doubt me."

"Haven't seen a single shred of proof, have I?"

"In the olden days they sacrificed wives, daughters and children for a miracle. What will you give me, if I save your precious Missus?"

Anything. I would give anything.

"You must think I'm an idiot, to think I'd ever get in bed with someone like you," Tony said stiffly.

This time when Loki laughed it was full, filled with delight, triumph and venom.

"I don't know what else to think of you, Anthony. There is the door - " A long, tapered finger pointed, "And yet we're still here having this conversation. Which, truthfully, is starting to bore me."

Tony flinched.

Now he was Aldrich Killian, asking for five minutes on the roof.

Five damn minutes.

But desperation had a habit of hiding behind a facade of foolish bravado Tony had perfected over the years.

"What's in it for you? Why would you do this for me?"

"Stark. So serious," Loki tut-tutted, splaying a hand on his chest. "I am doing this out of the kindness of my heart."

Tony scoffed. "Don't make me laugh."

"You wouldn't be laughing when the time comes for you to choose what colour coffin to put Miss Potts in."

"I don't have time for your riddles, Loki. What the hell do you want?" Tony snapped.

"I don't know yet." Loki's lips curled, a picture of cruel patience. "But like you said…we all want something. Man or God."

Loki’s fingers traced an ice-cold trail along the nape of Tony’s neck. "Are you willing to take that risk? Not knowing what I might ask for?"

"If it means saving Pepper’s life, there's no two ways about it," Tony growled. "You can do whatever you want with me."

Loki's eyes roamed Tony's tense figure calculatively. "Whatever I…want?"

"I said what I said," Tony said gruffly. "Barring performance issues, of course. With the number of years on you, I won't hold it against you if you can't deliver."

An icy chill fell over the tiny chapel.

"You asked for proof?" Loki's silky voice cut through the sudden hush. "Take me to her."

______________________________________

"Wait." Tony stopped abruptly in his tracks. "Happy's inside. Give me a sec, I'll get rid of him - "

But Loki was already waltzing in through the door. "Don't bother."

"Loki!" Tony hissed.

Loki rolled his eyes at the white fingers gripping the bend of his elbow. He shook himself free. "They can't see me."

Tony watched in suspense as Loki walked toward the centre of the room where a nurse was tending to Pepper. He circled the front of the bed inhumanly slowly, while Happy hovered nearby, looking squeamish.

The nurse tucked a few more cold compresses into the body suit which was already bursting to capacity with ice packs.

"Guess we're too late. She's already in a body bag."

"It's cold water immersion, dumbass," Tony ground through gritted teeth. "Doctors say it's malignant hyperthermia. Extremis is jacking up her body temperature, shutting down her organs."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather put her out of her misery?" Loki asked.

Tony's fingers curled into fists. "Listen, you - "

"I can smell her flesh burning," Loki interrupted, his countenance dark and hard now that all humour had left him. "Why are you doing this to her?"

Tony felt the blood drain from his face. How could one respond to such an accusation? "There is still a chance."

"A chance," Loki echoed sceptically.

"Pepper's not one for giving up."

"So she's doing this for you?"

Tony squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears of frustration at bay but it was futile; there was no quelling the rush of anger coursing through him at the realisation that he was utterly at Loki's mercy.

"If you're not going to help…get lost."

Loki snapped his fingers. Happy and the nurse abruptly straightened, and walked out of the room in a single file without so much as a glance in either his or Tony's direction.

"A little manners goes a long way, Stark," Loki sighed, perching himself atop the tiny space between the pillow and the railing. The sight of him sitting so close to Pepper made Tony's blood boil.

Loki saw, and he smiled. "But I won't hold it against you. The guilt will claim you in the end, without my help."

"What are you -!"

Before Tony could stop him, Loki slipped a hand inside the hood of the suit,

"This is entirely your doing after all."

and cupped the side of Pepper's face.

"Ah…" Loki exhaled, seemingly unperturbed by the red, angry marble-like tendrils fast spreading from the point of skin contact, travelling up his forearm. "As you humans are so fond of saying, this is but a piece of cake."

The words Loki uttered next were in a strange tongue, lilting and melodious. Despite not knowing the language, the hair on the back of Tony's neck suddenly stood on end.

"Make a wish, Tony."

And the room erupted in a blaze.

______________________________________

A week later, Pepper was given a clean bill of health and declared fit for discharge.

The newspapers called it a miracle.

The doctors called it an idiopathic event.

"Which roughly translates to they have no freaking clue how it happened. One second, Extremis is wreaking havoc on her DNA, and the next thing they know, it's completely cleared from her system " Tony enthused an understandably perplexed Doctor Bruce Banner, genius geneticist extraordinaire.

"So all those erratic mutations in her DNA?"

"Spontaneously regressed. Like they never happened in the first place."

"That's…" Not possible, Bruce wanted to say. But after all the things they had seen and gone through, who was he to say what was possible and what was not?

"That's great news, Tony. I was really worried there for a while.”

"Yeah?" Tony sounded relieved.

"Absolutely. I'm glad Pepper pulled through."

Tony gave Bruce a mysterious, knowing grin. "Not just Pepper."

Six months later, the Starks threw the biggest gender reveal party in modern history. Tony spared no expenses and lit up everything he could get his hands on, the sides of all the buildings he owned, as well as the Manhattan night sky with the tackiest drone light shows America had ever seen.

"Thor! My man!" Tony brightened. "Glad you could make it!"

Then his face fell when he realised Thor had come alone.

"Rock of Ages not with you?"

“Will you not tell me what is going on between you and my brother, Stark?” Thor complained. “Neither of you would give me a straight answer.”

"Oh, you've…you've talked? With Loki? Did he, uh, did he say anything?"

Thor studied his friend up and down. “You have never been on friendly terms, Stark. Why all the sudden interest in Loki?"

It’s nothing to worry about,” Tony said vaguely. “Guess I’ll have to catch him some other time.”

“Catch him?” Thor frowned. "For what offence?"

“Relax. It’s just a figure of speech,” Tony said. Something about Thor’s evasive body language was not sitting right with him, and having not heard a peep from the bastard since that fateful night had Tony on edge to the point of sleeplessness.

"Tony, what is going on?" Thor demanded. "Has Loki done something to you? Threatened you or your family?"

"No," Tony shook his head. "No, it's not like that, Thor."

"Then what is it?" Thor's voice had risen, and people were starting to notice.

Tony grabbed a bulging bicep and pulled his friend aside. "Loki and I…we made some kind of deal. Last time we met. Sort of."

"What kind of deal?"

"It's nothing bad, I promise - "

"You are asking me to believe that you are stupid, Tony," Thor said, his voice dangerously low. "What manner of bargain did you strike with my brother?"

"I don't know, okay?" Tony hissed. "It's precisely why I need to talk to your jackass brother! I can't have this hanging over my head knowing he can come for me at any time!"

"What are you concerned about? What do you think Loki is going to ask for? Money?"

"That's the least of my worries," Tony muttered. "You Gods are big on blood sacrifice or used to be, right? He saved Pepper's life, so are we talking about an eye for an eye situation? Is he going to take what's left of my life?" My kid's? My unborn kid?

"How could you agree to his terms and not know what you were signing up for?"

"That's exactly my point, Thor," Tony said tiredly. "We didn't get far enough to talk terms."

Thor dropped into an armchair like a sack of bones, his sigh just as heavy. "Then you do not owe him anything."

"Thor, what's going on?"

"Loki did not tell you what he wanted in exchange for his help," Thor said. "What has happened to him…is not on you."

"You aliens, I swear - " Tony cursed. "Stop talking in riddles and tell me what the hell's going on."

Thor regarded Tony silently for a long minute.

"He saved Lady Pepper's life?" Thor asked quietly.

Inhaling deeply, Tony gave a subtle nod.

"You said something happened. What happened to Loki? Is he - is he alive?"

"I can't stay." Thor stood abruptly. "Thank you, Stark."

"Thor, wait!"

But Thor was already marching for the balcony, Stormbreaker in his hand. "Pray that it is not too late."

And just like that, he was gone.

______________________________________

New Asgard

"Tony Stark sends his regards."

Silence.

"That's the third time he's asked after you."

"I wonder why."

"Will you not go to him?"

"There is no need," Loki said softly. "I have done what I had set out to do."

"And the price?" Thor stormed over to where Loki was huddled by the fireplace. "What is the price for saving Lady Pepper's life?"

"So he told you."

"Not in so many words but yes! What were you thinking?" Thor berated.

"He called for help. I answered," Loki said simply.

"No, Lady Pepper was at death's door, Tony was vulnerable, and you saw a chance!"

"A chance," Loki said slowly. "To do what exactly?"

"The poison that was killing her, Extremis. What did you do with it?"

"Just like how I would any other venom," Loki shrugged, "I neutralised it."

"Except you did not," Thor said hotly. "You took it into yourself, didn't you? That's why you're all - " He gesticulated wildly, clearly struggling to find words. When none came, he resorted to pacing.

After a while, Thor sank heavily to the floor.

"Are you done floundering about like a beached whale?" Loki asked politely.

Thor regarded his reticent brother silently. "Why did you do it?"

“There was this painting in the chapel, where I met him,” Loki said, his eyes glazing over from the memory. “You can hardly call it a painting…it was more of a doodle, really.”

“What about it?” Thor asked gently.

“Nothing. It’s not important.”

“Tell me.”

“A child’s drawing,” Loki sighed, “Of a family.”

“Ah.” The back of Thor's head hit the wall with a loud thump. “Did it remind you of one of yours?”

“How could it?" Loki laughed bitterly. "This one was happy.”

“We were happy, Loki.”

"Do you not find it odd by now, how we never seem to share the same memories?"

"I've always liked your paintings," Thor murmured.

"You never told me."

"I should have."

Loki sniffed. "Hardly matters now."

"Was this part of your plan?"

"Extremis had to go somewhere."

The horror dawned on Thor with the might of a sledgehammer. "It was either you…or the babe."

As if on cue, the fire in Loki's veins reared its head as it was wont to do from the time to time, and Loki shuddered as he battled the now familiar pain. He summoned the ice from deep within his core and as it surged to the surface, the fire receded.

"You should have told me. We could have shouldered the burden together."

"You are not built like me," Loki's weak smirk turned into a grimace, as he curled and unfurled fingers as blue fought with red for dominance.

"Is the pain really bad?"

"Some days are better than others," he admitted once the bout had passed. "I'm not going to die, Thor."

Thor grabbed the now white fingers and squeezed the life out of them. "Can I get that in writing?"

Loki laughed.

_________________________________

Sanctum Sanctorum

"Come on Doc, you gotta help me out here," Tony pleaded. "We're old friends, aren't we?"

Doctor Stephen Strange, (Sorcerer Supreme, M.D., Ph.D.,) crinkled his nose. "Ye-ah, not exactly the word I'd use."

"You owe me for helping you save the world," Tony said petulantly, crossing his arms across his chest. "Just do me this one favour and we'll call it even."

Stephen snorted. "And you're planning to hold that over my head for how long exactly? Very friendly of you, Stark."

Then his tone grew suspicious. "What do you want with Loki anyway?"

"It's kind of a personal matter…"

"I figured as much. But still, I gotta know what you plan to do with him. This is quite an unconventional request."

"There's something I need to ask the guy, that's all."

"Can't you just call him or something? Or send him a text if talking's too middle-class?"

Tony just made a face but said nothing.

"You're not gonna kill him, are you?" Stephen asked, his eyes narrowing further. "We still have a treaty with New Asgard, magically and politically speaking. Unfortunately."

"Me? Kill an allegedly repentant former supervillain?" Tony clutched his chest. "Why, I'd never!"

Stephen was far from amused. "I'm being serious. The last time I did one of you lot a favour, I broke the multiverse."

Tony snickered inwardly. "Peter sends his love, by the way."

Stephen's gaze never wavered. "Peter who?"

"Okay, so we're playing this game," Tony muttered under his breath. "Look. Doc. Loki…did something for me. Something big. And I kinda owe him. A lot."

"Never heard anything more alarming in my life," Stephen deadpanned. "What did you do?"

"Can I skip that bit and just go straight to the part where you help me find him?" Tony pleaded.

"What did you do, Tony?"

By the time Tony finished telling the story, Stephen was sitting in his chair, massaging his forehead.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Stephen sounded disappointed.

"I wasn't thinking straight. Here I thought I had the best doctors in the world working for me but they couldn't do jack shit. And Loki was just…there," Tony said imploringly. "Pepper was dying in front of me and he…"

"He made you an offer you couldn't refuse," Stephen deduced, still cross but more understanding. "I get it. So now what? You're bound to him for life? What is he asking from you in return?"

"That's the thing. I don't know," Tony snarled in frustration. "I haven't heard a word from him. No threatening messages, no dead pigeons on my doorstep. And Thor's no help at all."

"Then I don't see how I can be."

"If you could locate Odin Assfather for Thor, why can't you do the same with Loki for me?" Tony complained.

"I would need a piece of him, dumbass. A literal piece. Do you have a tooth? Hair? Bits of lung tissue?" Stephen growled. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

"You're Sorcerer McSupreme, don't tell me you haven't got another trick up your sleeve. Don't you keep a watchlist of some kind? Of all the beings that need to be watched?"

"That is not for your personal use."

"Come on, man, don't make me beg."

Stephen heaved an irritated sigh. "If I do this one thing, will you get out of my hair? At least for the next twenty years?"

Tony hummed. "I think a year's the longest I can stay away. I love your company too much."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Stark, but you're not my type." The Cloak tapped Tony on the shoulder. "Follow me."

Soon Tony found himself standing in a room with no windows, only wooden panelling from floor to ceiling. In the centre of it was a stone sepulchre, atop of which sat a large bowl.

"Ooh, what is that? Is it like that thing in Harry Potter?" Tony asked. "Gosh, what's it called, the Pensieve?"

"Stark," Stephen warned, "Don't touch it."

"But - "

Stephen stood over the bowl and shooed Tony away when he tried to come close. "It's nothing glamorous like the Pensive of Hogwarts, Tony. More like a scrying mirror."

As Stephen began doing the timey wimey thing with his hands, Tony fidgeted, paced, circumnavigated the altar, all to keep from running up the steps and looking into the bowl.

The nonplussed expression on Stephen's face was the last straw.

"What did you see?" Tony demanded.

"Something I shouldn't have…" Stephen's voice trailed. "I don't think I can help you after all, Tony."

"What?"

"It's complicated. You just have to trust me. Now is not a good time."

"What the hell does that mean?" Tony gaped. "You've obviously found him so just tell me where he is!"

"It is not your place."

"The hell it isn't -!"

Tony shoved Stephen aside, and peered into the scrying mirror.

"What's - what's happening to him?"

"If I had to guess, a side-effect of Extremis?"

"He's fucking blue, Strange."

"Yeah…" Stephen closed the lid gently. "That can happen, with one of Loki's constitution."

"Shouldn't we - " Tony swallowed hard. "Shouldn't we help him?"

"It is not my place."

"Stop it," Tony seethed. "Stop it with all this omnipotent, omniscient, grandiose bullshit."

"You entered a contract with him, Tony. And for some reason he is bearing the brunt of the bargain all by himself."

"There must be something we can do."

"You are not listening," Stephen said quietly. "Whatever is happening, he is on a path of his choosing."

Tony's mouth fell open. "But why?"

Stephen shrugged nonchalantly. "Beats me. But it certainly does not require my intervention and is hence no longer my business."

With a swish of his cloak, the Sorcerer Supreme transported them both to the foyer, where the gaping front door awaited Tony's exit.

"Good luck."

"Some friend you are," Tony muttered and slammed the door behind him.

________________________________________

That night, Tony sat alone at his bar.

He stared at the spot where Loki once stood, when they had their first face-off all those years ago.

"People keep telling me to enjoy the quiet while it lasts," he said. "But it can be too damn quiet sometimes."

"Tony? Who are you talking to?" Pepper asked from the doorway.

"Just myself, honey. Having one-sided conversations is a lot like journalling, isn't it? Only without the killing of trees," Tony said. "Why don't you go up to bed, I'll join you in a sec."

Pepper made a pained face. "Well, keep them short and sweet. I kinda need you to rub my back. And my feet. Actually my shoulders too."

Tony gave her an indulgent smile. "I love you, Potts."

"Are you okay, Tony?"

Tony inhaled deeply. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."

"Okay," Pepper still looked suspicious but sufficiently placated. "Don't stay up too late."

Tony waited till Pepper waddled out of sight, before pulling a bottle from the cabinet behind him.

He poured some scotch into a couple of shot glasses.

Loki told him he had to be specific, didn't he?

"Here's the drink you asked for, Loki," he whispered. "Sorry I made you wait this long."

Tony downed his own, and left Loki's out for the night.

When he returned to the kitchen the next morning, it was empty.

____________________________-

Two months later, Morgan H. Stark was born.

Tony must have stood outside the nursery for hours, marvelling at how they could have created something so magical, when a voice spoke.

"She's beautiful."

Tony tore his face away from the glass barrier and whirled around.

"You."

A smirk. "Me."

"How did - you look - " Tony stammered, fighting to remain calm. "Are you alright now?"

"What a peculiar question," Loki murmured. "Should I not be?"

"Loki."

"Yes, Stark?"

"What you did before. Do it again," Tony said. "Make us disappear."

"As you wish."

Tony fisted Loki's collar and tugged hard; to his surprise, Loki yielded without so much as a grunt.

"You asshole," Tony hissed. "Why? Why now?"

Then Loki did the most unexpected thing; he grabbed the back of Tony's head and slapped their foreheads together. Like the pull of a magnet, Tony found himself leaning into the touch, eager and desperate.

What are you doing? Tony screamed inside.

But for the life of him, he couldn't bring himself to let go.

"I looked all over for you," he whispered.

"I know."

"You never told me what you wanted."

“What I want is but an illusion. A reflection of the moon in the water. Once I touch it, it is gone."

Tony touched the sides of Loki's face. It felt smooth and cool, the veins throbbing under his fingertips with life.

"Why? Why did you do that to yourself?" He bombarded Loki with question after question. "You were going to pass it to me, weren't you? Why didn't you?"

"In the life of man, time is but an instant. The days may be long, but the years are short." Loki's answers were as cryptic as ever. "I wasn't going to take that away from you."

To this day, Tony couldn't tell who had initiated it, but when the kiss finally came, it lasted longer than it should, and tasted sweeter than he ever imagined.

The sound of a baby crying jolted him to reality, but Loki had pulled away; only the sweetness of the kiss remained, like the lingering scent of rain.

Loki's voice was gentle, so gentle, "If there was ever a time for me…"

(For us )

"Now is not it."

"I'm sorry, Loki."

"Don't be. I am not." With the final words, Loki turned on his heel and began to walk down the corridor.

"Loki, wait."

"How long?"

Loki's forehead furrowed.

"How many lifetimes can you wait?"

(For me?)

Such was their love story, told in unfinished questions and truncated conversations.

"As many as you need," Loki said, with an easy grin. "I am not going anywhere."

"Tony?" Someone called his name from behind. "Who are you talking to?"

"Hmm?" Tony turned, and took the proffered cup of coffee. "No one. Just having conversations with myself. It's a lot like journalling, isn't it?"

FIN

#frostiron #mth 2022 #fic

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