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#and then have here is just pure content i wish i could find more songs like it
wildcatofgreen · 1 year
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🎶✨when you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, publish, then tag 10 people🎶✨  
100 gecs - ringtone (remix)
【MikitoP feat. Hatsune Miku】 少女レイ / Ghost Girl
Lovejoy - Knee Deep at ATP
Tiny Little Adiantum - Shibayan Records
loophoof & NeverLastStanding - Have Here (TCB Remix)
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tagged by: @trainer-ryu-challenges-you
tagging: Anyone who wants to!
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amourdivine · 7 months
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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?
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Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous.  It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡
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none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise
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how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.
♡ ♡ ♡     pick a card masterlist & information
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disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.
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amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.
PILE ONE 💜
what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.
I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.
how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.
Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.
channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.
channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.
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PILE TWO 🩷
what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world
I couldn���t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.
how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.
They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.
channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.
channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.
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PILE THREE 💖
what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.
“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.
how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.
Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.
channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.
channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.
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PILE FOUR 🩵
what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.
You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.
how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.
I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!
channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child. 
channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.
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amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.
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rzyraffek · 8 months
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Yall im bored and i have dol brainrot. Here u go random mostly sfw headcanons. Most of them are just jokes btw don't take this seriously. Beware i am not dol master so If something is inaccurate pls dont crucify me. Request open btw
Includes: what kind of music they lisen, random stuff they do, ect.
I used they/them for both PC and love intrests so some of those sentences were a hell to write
Tw: me going crazy over Avery (i have issues, pls if what I wrote was weird, just close your eyes and idk explode irl idc)
Random DOL headcanons
Kylar
IM FUCKING CONVINCED that this owl plushy that they give to PC has a camera inside. Im not sure if thats mensioned in game AND I didnt see anyone talk about this. But this dude litteraly says "make sure to put it somewhere high so it can protect you/watch you over" (im not 100% sure what they said but it was along those lines)
Wants to have matching black nails with PC
If their heart wouldnt beat so fast everytime PC gets close to them, Kylar acually would OFTEN fall asleep on PC's lap or shoulder (especially in school)
If s/o is afab, Kylar is defnitly into period sex
Had a huge zombie phase and has whole plan (in details) about how and what to do in case of zombie apocalypse acually happening (and they would acually lighten up if PC mensions anything about zombies, Kylar will talk about them whole night!)
Average phonk listener
Sidney
Sometimes wakes up in middle of night after nighmares and wishes PC would be there
High purity sindey will nervously figet with cross-neckace everytime they have lewd thoughts about PC
Overthinker
Sometimes when they pray together he pretends to have eyes closed but they acually look at PC cuz omg love, you look stunning
Watched Barbie with PC (liked it very much)
Lisens to Mitski
Pure Sydney cried after lisening to cupcake songs
Great Hawk
Dude is a simp
Loves when PC has flowers in their hair, and please give them some too!
If PC praises hawk when they give PC expensive objects (jewellery, wallets, purses ect) this harpy guy/gal will call them "little crow"😭 cuz from Hawks perspective thats how it looked like- they find wife, wife sad, they give shiny, wife happy.
(Alr guys this one is a 50/50 cuz im not sure if harpys have hands? Or just wings?) He discovered hand holding and now he wants to hold PC hand all the time!! But his claws sharp so be careful
Likes when PC has colorful hair
Sounds of Forest and other birds (and bird-people) are only sounds he music he needs 🦅
Got scared bcs there was a rock/metal music concert in city and it was loud and he was very upset
Eden
Dude wants to have kids so bad😭😭
Very tall!
If Pc is tiny/short, this guy/gal will pick them up with one hand and just carry PC back to their home
PLEASE kiss their old scars, and complement them! Eden doesnt really like how they look (they are not insecure but they just dont find time to pamper themselfs and look all fancy)
Sometimes wakes up in middle of night with cold sweat and checks if PC is still there
Conteplated if plant people are eatable
Hates deep water
Will say "I dont lisen to music" and then gets judged by PC and me. ( he enjoys some romantic old songs, i guess he likes Micheal Jackson? Maybe the ink spots??Idk)
Avery
Dude just wants to have good reputation😭😭 and nice looking PC
Tbh I would enjoy Avery-dad-figure content😭 like PC just doing all this stuff just to be accepted by some guy that could be their dad😭 their are fatherless afterall😭. Like hear me out PC just craving platonic love from this dude while he just wants to smash😓 (tbh he is not always doing sexuall stuff, sometimes he just vibes)
Pls dude is like 40 wtf is he doing with his life
*in car* "I swear PC if you say anything more about kpop im leaving you in forest"
Lisens to chrismas music😭
Ivory
Dude ate a squirrel once
I wanna cuddle them
Pls they look wet and cold, give them a nice towel and later blanket
Definitely got scared by their own reflection in mirror once
Can talk to animals
Lisens to gothic music
Likes bugs (months, Beatles, bees)
Alex
Dude lisens to Pitbull while working at farm
Picks PC up and throws them on hay piles for fun
Alex and Remy should settle this beef for good, they both should do kahoot about farm animal knowlage and no more "no its my farm not yours!" Bullshit
Watches soap opera when bored
Wears cowboys hats
Ginger
Leninghton
Rizzing up people twice younger than him (hes like 40 or something)
Enjoys board games and omg he loves card games
Hes probably married tbh
Has reddit account😔
The photos he takes in classes? He sells them
He and Bailey should kiss in meat grinder for beating PC ass for no reason🤩😍
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fleurdelily · 1 year
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— DIABOLIK LOVERS AS SONGS : marina edition
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characters. shu, reiji, ayato, kanato, laito, subaru, yui
warnings. suggestive content, dark content
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ SHU SAKAMAKI
family jewels - marina
i can't break the cycle, am i just a fool ?
falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels
pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end
less i decide to go to it, will i see the end ?
oh, don't you find it strange ?
only thing we share is one last name
Did i beat you at your own game ?
typical of me to put us all to shame
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ REIJI SAKAMAKI
are you satisfied ? - marina
it’s not my problem if you don't see what i see
and i do not give a damn if you don't believe
my problem, it's my problem
that i never am happy
it’s my problem, it's my problem
on how fast i will succeed
are you satisfied with an average life ?
do i need to lie to make my way in life ?
high achiever, don't you see ?
baby, nothing comes for free
they say i’m a control freak
driven by a greed to succeed
nobody can stop me
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ AYATO SAKAMAKI
oh no - marina
don’t do love, don't do friends
i’m only after success
don’t need a relationship
i’ll never soften my grip
one track mind, one track heart
if i fail, i'll fall apart
maybe it is all a test
cause, i feel like i’m the worst
so i always act like i’m the best
if you are not very careful
your possessions will possess you
tv taught me how to feel
now real life has no appeal
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ KANATO SAKAMAKI
obsessions - marina
sunday, wake up, give me a cigarette
last night's love affair is looking vulnerable in my bed
silk sheet, blue dawn
colgate, tongue warm
won't you quit your crying?
i can't sleep
one minute, i’m a little sweetheart
and next minute, you are an absolute creep
we’ve got obsessions
i want to wipe out all the sad ideas that come to me, when i am holding you
we've got obsessions
all you ever think about are sick ideas involving me, involving you
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ LAITO SAKAMAKI
teen idle - marina
i wanna be a bottle blonde
i don't know why but i feel conned
i wanna be an idle teen
i wish i hadn't been so clean
i wanna stay inside all day
i want the world to go away
i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake
i wanna be a real fake
feeling super, super, super suicidal
the wasted years, the wasted youth
the pretty lies, the ugly truth
and the day has come where i have died
only to find, i’ve come alive
i wanna be a virgin pure
a twenty-first century whore
i want back my virginity
so i can feel infinity
i wanna drink until i ache
i wanna make a big mistake
i want blood, guts, and angel cake
i’m gonna puke it anyway
i wish i wasn't such a narcissist
i wish i didn't really kiss
the mirror when i’m on my own
oh god, i’m gonna die alone
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ SUBARU SAKAMAKI
numb - marina
i can't breathe, and i can't smile,
this better be worth my while.
i feel numb most of the time,
the more I get the higher,
i’ll climb, and i will wonder why,
i got dark only,
to shine.
far gone families, far gone friends,
that's how it started, and how it ends,
i can't open up and cry, cause i've been saddened all my life.
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୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ⊹ YUI KOMORI
ancient dream in a modern land - marina
our ancestors had to fight to survive
just so we could have a chance of a life
ancient dreams in a modern land
i’m trying to get back as fast i can
back to a time before i had form
back to a time before i was born
you don't have to be like everybody else
you don't have to fit into the norm
you are not here to conform
i am here to take a look inside myself
recognize that i could be the eye, the eye of the storm
i am not my body, not my mind or my brain
not my thoughts or feelings, i am not my DNA
i am the observer, i’m a witness of life
i live in the space between the stars and the sky
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bookaddict24-7 · 5 months
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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!
Books I’ve read so far in 2023!
Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!
___
237. The Woman in Me by Britney Spears--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I will admit that I'm one of those people who sometimes turns on an audiobook and just lets it play, my attention coming in and out of focus depending on how invested I am. THE WOMAN IN ME had my full attention. I think, in part, this is because it brought back so much nostalgia for me.
Britney Spears's very first album was my very first cassette when I was a kid. To this day, I will never NOT sing to any of the songs playing in that album. I was the kid in the 90s who laid out with her walkman, listening to the words over and over again, pretending that I knew how to sing. I loved Spears and her music was one of my introductions to North American English music.
Of course, being a kid I had no idea of all of the things she was going through and how obsessed the media was with her. I remember the buzzcut incident, the hounding of her while she was out with her babies, and how tumultuous her love life. But a lot of it didn't hit until I was older and reading THE WOMAN IN ME, I'm reminded that what we see in the media is always going to be through a particular lens--what do they want us to see? What do they want us to be entertained with? Britney's life is falling apart? Perfect, that will get page clicks and sell magazines. The dehumanization of Britney and the sexualization of her portrayed innocence by the media put her on a nearly impossible pedestal, opening the gates for her family to take advantage of her. She's not falling in line with what's expected of her, so of course it means she's out of control.
Anyway, I loved that she was pretty candid about a lot of the pivotal moments in her life. I AM sad, however, that she didn't go as into detail about certain things, but I know a lot of that is also because of the cease and desist letters she must have gotten prior to the publication of THE WOMAN IN ME.
I wanted to cry for her while I listened, and I felt so much anger for her, too. I loved that she referred to herself as weird because there's a certain kind of pure honesty with that. There's also the topic of JT and every time I talk to someone about it, they say there are "two sides to every story", which is true, but I find it always entertaining how convenient it is to say that when it is a man being accused of something less than desirable. But you know, that's just me. *shrug*
Anyway, this was an insightful and heartbreaking read and while I wish we'd gotten more, I appreciate what we COULD get.
___
238. The Bungalow Mystery by Carolynn Keene--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I think this Nancy Drew story MIGHT be my favourite one so far. As the series progresses, the themes are seemingly getting a little darker while still maintaining the fun and lightness of Nancy and her mysteries.
THE BUNGALOW MYSTERY held a little more insidiousness, since it features some themes of kidnapping, grief, and greed. I've only read a few of the books in the series and this one kept my attention the most. I wanted to know what would happen next and though the twist and mystery were easily guessed, it was the journey there that was the most entertaining.
Onto the next one!
___
239. Pestilence by Laura Thalassa--⭐️⭐️⭐️
While I will most likely never read the rest of this series, I am content with PESTILENCE. I loved the angst between the characters and how they grew through each others' influences. And while it wasn't a perfect read for me, it was enjoyable and I'm a simple girly sometimes.
The reasons why I'm not giving this five stars are the morality of this particular concept--I kept asking myself how the MC was going to connect with the love interest when he is the literal harbinger of pandemics and sickness; the sometimes repetitiveness of the conversations had regarding the aforementioned topic; and how religious this book was. Yes, this is a book about the four horsemen but the conversation made me feel a tad uncomfortable.
To be honest, now that I'm not in the fog of reading this book and the immediate dopamine hit of finishing it, a lot of it is making me question how much I actually enjoyed it while writing this review. I think it fed this particular craving I had after reading a book like BOUND TO THE BATTLE GOD and I was hooked. But I started reading the second book in this series and it dealt with a very timely topic...and not in the best way.
So, now that I've gone off on a diatribe, I will say that I enjoyed this for what it was but I'm realizing that it could have been MORE or just dealt with some of the topics better. I'm just going to leave it at that.
___
240. The Android by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
When I started reading this series, I had heard that it was very anti-war and while I've seen this in spurts here and there throughout the last few books, THE ANDROID is where I have truly seen the full extent of it (so far).
Applegate tackles this topic so powerfully in this--especially the idea that just because you can doesn't always mean that you should. The guilt and ghosts of war will follow you and change you for the rest of your life, no matter your intentions and the outcome. ANIMORPHS was truly ahead of its time.
I liked THE ANDROID, too, because it introduced us to something a little different from the at-times repetitive topics and fights that the kids face. I liked that they got to meet more beings fighting (in their own way) for survival in a universe fraught with dangers.
Onto the next one!
___
241. Go Eat Worms by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️⭐️
I won't lie, of all the GOOSEBUMPS books I've read, this is one of the ones that has genuinely creeped me out. The story actually felt like it had a backstory AND there were some serious creepy crawlies haunting the story.
I think kid me would have loved this one for how gross it was. I feel like I would have been itching my arms and hair, afraid that a worm would be there to greet me. I would have disliked the MC's sister and occasionally the MC too for being so callous towards living things. Did he deserve what happens to him? Absolutely. Leave the poor worms alone, my dude.
Again, I'm hit with that sense of loss I sometimes get while reading these books because I know I would have loved them as a kid.
___
242. My Roommate is a Vampire by Jenna Levine--⭐️⭐️⭐️
Listen, this book was FUN. It was adorable and a little silly and just pure fun.
While we don't get to see the story from the perspective of the love interest, the author gives us snippets of his thoughts and his side of things at the beginning of each chapter. I particularly loved those bits and looked forward to them.
The MC's artwork that is described sounds questionable, but I can't fault her her excitement and eagerness when she's creating it and talking about it.
Was this a work of art? No, but it was a surprisingly addicting read that kept me wanting more. I wanted the MC to find out her roommate's secret, and I wanted to see how she would deal with it all. I also wanted to see how their love would develop.
The story in itself is a bit simple and the conclusion was quicker than a two pump event, but I had fun. Like I said before, it was silly and fun. And honestly, sometimes, that's all I need.
___
243. The Cuckoo Clock of Doom by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I think this is probably the most thought out GOOSEBUMPS book I've read so far. It wasn't scary at all, but it had a pretty great storyline. Of course, it had the awful parents and the morally questionable sibling.
I think though, that my favourite thing about this, was the dedication to actually give us different phases of the MC's life and in a fun and intriguing way. This one, in my opinion, is one of the better GOOSEBUMPS out there.
I especially loved that ending.
___
244. Away Game by Ella Kade--⭐️⭐️.5
Was AWAY GAME slightly problematic? Yes. Did I devour the hell out of it all the same? Yes.
But listen, this was the kind of read that pulls you into a bubble but you can still see the pointy parts of the story fighting to pop said bubble.
What I enjoyed that kept me so hooked: ● I love bully romances because watching two characters get together when they hated each other is something I have a hard time saying no to. I love watching that character development and seeing that tension. ● How one character fell completely for the other. ●The sports aspect because I love a good sports romance.
Issues that I had with this book and why I probably won't read this author past this book:
● Who told this white author that she could write a mixed character and write about how hard it is to be mixed? As a mixed person, I could relate to the character but I found it kind of icky that the author used conversations like "will your father not like me because I'm half Black?" Like, in theory, I appreciate it, but it felt weird. Like, the topic of him being Black was brought up more than once and again, while I appreciate the representation, it felt tokenizing and just...not right? This was my major ick for this book. ● Also, adding to my comment about the mixed character's race being mentioned: the author kept referring to him as mocha-skinned. Like. Multiple. Times. White authors of course can write Bipoc and Black characters, but do it with respect. I was so uncomfortable. ● The romance was so quick--I love when there's a build up, but one moment one MC hates the other and all of a sudden, they're making out. It felt messy and a little too insta-lovey. ● The MC who's being bullied has no backbone. ● This needs a lot more editing. I know it's indie, but I've read a ton of indie romance and the editing in this one was distracting. ● The father confrontation was comical. I'm sorry, it's built up so much during the majority of the book and THAT is how he finds out/how the MC deals with the aftermath?
There's a few other things that irked me, but I don't want to say because I'm not educated enough in the topic to touch on it without potentially saying the wrong thing. I wish I could have loved this book, but alas, it was not for me.
___
245. Lie With Me by Philippe Besson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book. Omg this book. My heart wasn't ready AT ALL for this book.
Sometimes it's the smallest books that give you the biggest heart aches.
I see this story as a cautionary tale, but also the heartbreaking reality so many queer people may experience in their lives (and societies). Not everyone has the freedom to be who they really are and a lot of the times it can destroy them.
While LIE WITH ME deals with a forbidden and often chaotic teenage love at its heart, it is a story of the power of memories and experiences, as well as the decisions that may haunt us for the rest of our lives. Just thinking about this aspect of the book makes me want to cry all over again.
God, this book is beautifully heartbreaking. Especially when it explores the dark underbelly of what it means to hide who you are for the majority of your life.
Please read this book, but bring tissues. Definitely a favourite of the year.
___
246. Never Have I Evan by D.J. Jamison--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
NEVER HAVE I EVAN took me by complete surprise! I was craving a story that would captivate me fully and this one definitely did it for me in the most unexpected way. I loved these two men from the moment the story started.
We get complicated backstories and a lot of character development, along with fantastic tension. One of my favourite things about this book is the level of communication and the maturity of the two characters. I often forgot that one of the MCs is only 19 because of how he navigated the harder hurdles in his relationship with the other MC. I just loved their dynamic so much and how they overcame their pasts and the hardships they might face in their futures.
I also LOVED the small town aspect and how everyone is trying to set the one MC up on dates because they just want him to find the perfect guy for him. The grannies of the town LOL.
I definitely see myself re-reading this in the future. I loved it so much!
___
Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!
___
Happy reading!
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ticklish-n-stuff · 1 year
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haiii would you maybe do kanamafu cheerup tickles with lee! mafuyu and ler! kanade?
What I can do...
I'm back with more n25 brainrot 'cause I love them all so much hehehe~
Merry Christmas~!
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Kanade x Mafuyu (interpret as you wish)
Lee: Mafuyu
Ler: Kanade
Warnings: Tickles!
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Kanade was currently cooped up in her room, working on another song in hopes that it'll reach Mafuyu. Except she was having a hard time finding inspiration. Whatever she tried creating just didn't seem right or good enough... She let out a sigh, she couldn't work like this. As much as she hated to take breaks, she felt like it might be necessary to do so in this case.
She wandered over to the empty sekai, maybe taking a walk will help her clear her mind. That's when she stumbled upon Mafuyu, sitting by herself on the ground, with her knees pressed against her chest.
"Mafuyu...? What're you doing here by yourself?" Kanade asked as she slowly approached her.
Mafuyu then turned her head towards Kanade, an empty expression on her face like always but... Kanade could notice a glimmer of sadness in her eyes. "I... needed some air...". she said as she burried her face against her knees once more. Kanade couldn't help but frown at the sight. She wished to help her friend, but she still wasn't sure on what would work on her. She thought back to her childhood, how her parents would comfort her whenever she got sad. The thought brought a soft smile to her face.
She then sat down next to Mafuyu and with a bit of hesitation began to gently rub her back, trying to soothe her with the soft touch. "I hope you don't mind... Maybe this'll help make you feel better-" Kanade stopped mid sentece as she noticed Mafuyu lightly squirming at her touch. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable...".
"It's not that, it just tickled a bit. It felt quite nice actually..."
"Oh..." Kanade couldn't help but softly smile at that. She took her words as a sign to keep going, except now she opted to lightly caress her fingertips up and down her back. She noticed how Mafuyu's breath would hitch at each gentle stroke, the corners of her lips threatening to form into a smile. "It's okay to laugh, it's just us here after all" Kanade reassured her as a soft giggle managed to escape Mafuyu's lips. Listening to the sweet joyful sound made Kanade's heart race with pure joy, she wanted to hear more of it. She changed tactics to now running her nails softly up and down Mafuyu's back.
"Ah-!" the purple haired girl softly yelped as she dissolved into soft yet uncontrollable giggles. The emptiness of the sekai being filled up by her soft sounds of happiness.
Mafuyu lightly arched her back as she tried to muffle her sweet giggles with her hand. Kanade softly chuckled along at her reactions. "It's okay, you don't have to feel embarrassed by your laugh. It's very cute..." the white haired girl softly blushed at her own words, gently poking under Mafuyu's arm to try to get her to reveal her smile.
"K-Kanadehehe..." Mafuyu softly snickered as she clamped her arm down. The sight... was nothing like Kanade had seen before. She never pictured Mafuyu to have such a toothy grin, but it definitely suited her.
"Sorry if I took it too far. You have a nice smile by the way...".
Mafuyu blushed at her words. "T-thank you... for that..." she said softly, her usual stoic expression returning to her face but... Kanade couldn't help but notice the slight lift to the corners of her mouth. And her eyes look much softer and tender compared to earlier.
"No problem" Kanade looked up to the ceiling, a content smile on her face. 'Maybe I could turn these warm, joyful feelings into a song' she thought to herself, but for now the song could wait. They both remained in each other's presence, it was quiet yet comforting. Even if they didn't say anything, they could both feel the love and joy in the moment. They definitely felt closer to one another after this experience...
.
.
.
Somewhere else in the empty sekai, Miku was found alongside the presence of Rin. She was trying out a new game Mizuki taught her a while back, when suddenly she felt a warm sensation on her chest. She slowly brought her hand up to where her heart would be, letting out a soft chuckle.
"Hm?? What's up with you?" asked Rin with her usual cold character.
"I don't know... but I have a feeling that everything will be alright" Miku said with a soft smile, glad that Mafuyu found people who could help her during the tough times.
___________________________________________
I feel so happy with how this turned out. Ughh I love them sm 🥺💖
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theeangeltimes · 1 year
Text
Ranking and Rating We Are the Future Covers
Sooo this may seem like a weird first blogpost, but it’s the only blog I’ve been able to write without my writer’s block getting *TOO* much in the way and I need to do something to keep myself on my self-enforced break from twitter. So this is what we’re getting!
It’s also somewhat fitting to me since We Are the Future by H.O.T. is a song that I for some reason associate heavily with winter. I think it has to do with the fact that, to me, Dreams Come True by S.E.S. is a similar albeit far superior song and Dreams Come True is basically synonymous with winter to me. And, well, it’s winter time, is it not?
Before we get into the ranking and rating though I feel like I should talk about my complicated (that’s being dramatic) feelings about We Are the Future; I feel like it had the potential to be an amazing song but was ruined by the switch-ups of its sound throughout the track. Lots of people may think switch-ups—or whatever the technical term is—is a newer phenomenon within kpop, but it’s really not. H.O.T. did it here, Click-B did it in almost all their songs back in the 90s/00s much to my chagrin, and Girls’ Generation of course did it with I Got a Boy in 2013. And there’s probably several other examples I can’t think of right now.
Anywho, here is my ranking and ratings of We Are the Future covers done by boy groups, ranked from worst to best 🏹
VERIVERY
youtube
It pains me a bit to put VERIVERY dead last on this list because I really do love me some VERIVERY, BUT THEY WEREN’T EVEN SINGING??? They just lip-synced to the original. The styling and dancing were good though so I give them a 5/10.
Wanna One
youtube
They did original production of the song and it really slayed at some parts but at others it was just mediocrity. AND there was not one, but TWO of the raps AKA the worst parts of the original. BUT, Minhyun sounded very pretty as per usual and overall the group did good. I give it a 6/10.
Monsta X
youtube
Their voices sounded soooo pretty on this cover and I loved the original production, I wish I could hear the studio version of this. Plus, you know that Monsta X’s fine asses are always gonna put on a good show so performance wise it was also great. *However* whoever it was that put those illy arranged bandanas on Wonho and Shownu’s head is one of my enemies…
8/10, good job boys!🫶
TVXQ
youtube
They get a ping knocked off for including the rap, but they’re TVXQ so they’re still this high on the list🤭
Changmin and Jaejoong’s voices sounded particularly pretty over this instrumental and I’m obsessed with how Jaejoong just shows up out of nowhere to sing the bridge and then leaves. Major slayage, if you ask me! 9/10!
(NOTE: in order to watch tvxq’s performance, you have to go to its segment in this compilation. Annoying, I know, but I couldn’t find a video of it alone)
EXO
youtube
If I were a petty person, I would knock off a point for the fact that this cover is NOT LONG ENOUGH and has no studio version that I can stream to my heart’s content. Nobody on this planet understands and loves this cover the way that *I* understand and love this cover. The production is pure euphoria, BaekXiuHan sound like angels (and I wish we had gotten more trios with the three of them because gosh do their voices compliment each other nicely), and there’s no wackass rap!!! In conclusion, exo are gods and this cover is 10/10💋
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weepingcanines · 2 years
Text
Graffiti
Lobo spends another night on watch duty for Eleven and becomes curious.
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Content warning for: cursing
Yet another night to spend lingering in some decrepit, back street alley of Naples, back against the wall as the moon lazily rose through the sky. It was too far in the city for the crickets to fill the silence and hardly anyone ever passed by these alleys in the dead of night.
And so, Lobo leaned against the wall, letting out a lung-full of air in a huff. Her arms crossed along with her legs. There was still a light throb in her forehead from consuming too much alcohol the day prior, but it was a welcome distraction from the otherwise boring watch duty.
Eleven was a few paces away, glancing up at the wall in planning for his artistic designs. Eventually, when he had whatever vision was in his mysterious head, he picked up a can of paint and began. He moved in deliberate, perfect moments- almost like a robot, but with palpable will to bring whatever was in his head down onto whatever canvas he desired. Skin, bricks, paper, it was all the same to him.
He rarely talked during these outings, leaving Lobo to watch and entertain herself however she could. She almost wished some trouble would come waltzing on along sometimes - at least then she wouldn't have to resort to singing songs in her head and counting bricks.
On this night however, looking over upon the enigmatic boy, a question crept into Lobo's mind.
"hey. Why do you paint here, anyway? Why graffiti?"
Eleven acted like he didn't hear her at first. Or maybe he really didn't. His focus was razor sharp, singled on on a single point, painting lines over and over in perfect rhythm.
The werewolf's eyebrow twitched with annoyance at this lack of response. She turned her gaze back over the the buildings surrounding them in deep blues and dark blacks, figuring her time would be better spend repeatedly losing count of bricks anyway.
"Because, it's something everyone, anyone, can see." He finally responded, putting down a blue spray can while he squatted close to the concrete. His blue eyes had an eerie and serene glow in the moonlight while his orange sweater appeared pale and washed out.
"A kid on their way to school? A fisherman? Hell, maybe even a mafiosi, its here to catch anyone's eye. Paper gets wet and rips- it's small, and hard to get people to look at. Not the best way of spreading a message, I find. Have you ever read a flyer handed to you on the street?"
"message?" Lobo questioned, not moving her head but training her eyes on her companion.
"Yes, a divine one."
"...divine? Like, religiously, or in a fancy " this is divine cuisine" way."
It was rare that something she said caused him seem taken aback, but that particular sentence seemed to cause the guy some genuine pain. After squinching his nose a little, he responded in a deadpan tone.
"Divine as in what it actually means. Divine."
"But what the fuck does that mean?" Lobo scowled. "Like, are you saying your art is from god?"
"No, my work is from me alone." Eleven closed his eyes. " I try to inspire feelings of hope in my art, like an angel." He seemed like was going to say more, but quietly trailed off.
Lobo kept an intrigued eye on him. She'd never seen him so... Human. He kept his emotions in check, so close, so obscure. She didn't really trust him yet, not entirely, not with knowing nothing about this guy.
But in watching him go back to silently putting down his 'message', seeing his passion, it made her think. Maybe, just maybe, this guy wasn't lying when he said his intentions were pure.
It was like Eleven could express himself in the most perfect way. With an omnipotent understanding of the feelings captured in his head, and with unbelievable precision he could execute that vision. For a man so guarded and mysterious, he could paint the clearest image from within his head for all to see.
She envied him in that perfect understanding. Feeling her hand drag across her arm as they uncrossed and fell to her sides, she looked to the moon watching them from between the clouds and buildings. What he wanted to say, he could. He knew what to say. He didn't even need words.
And yet, like a child, she never seemed able to say what she wanted. How she felt- she couldn't even describe it half the time. Her mind always in knots, lost, trembling. Riding waves of emotions until it dropped her in the destruction left in its wake.
In the night, she saw the shadows shift. And in them formed Fenrir, it's eyes bright and sharp as she peered directly into her own soul. She didn't understand what she saw there, and it made her blood run cold.
Lobo put all her weight on the wall and sat down on the stone beneath her, tail wrapping around her legs in a feeble attempt to comfort her sudden unease. And yet, despite her discomfort, Fenrir approached anyway, and she reached her hand out to it so it could rest it's huge nose in her palm.
"We'll never be serene, like him." She told the wolf. "I don't know what we can be, but its not pure."
Fenrir didn't respond, but it couldn't, anyway. And so they sat and watched on, half shrouded in a building's shadow.
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First thing I've written/finished for awhile, so I'm pretty rusty! Also still learning how to best format Tumblr posts so any tips are appreciated! Thank you, if you read this far, it means a lot and encourages me to write more!
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yaemona · 2 years
Text
WHO DO YOU WORSHIP?
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pairings archons x reader (separate)
contents afab ! sub ! reader (no pronouns), body worship (zhongli), sacrilegious themes (venti), semi-public sex (venti. in the church of favonius.), fingering, electro-play (ei), cunnilingus, gentle zhongli and ei, venti is a menace, smut 18+
a.n so i got a liiiiittle carried away with venti's. . . but this has been a thought on my mind for awhile now, so i'm really happy i finally got around to writing it!! i hope you all enjoy reading as i did writing :D
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minors and ageless blogs do not interact.
ZHONGLI
soft lips brush over your skin, beginning just below where your jaw meets your ear, trailing down your neck and over your bare chest, and down further still over your stomach. your cheeks burn as he lifts his gaze and his eyes study your naked figure. in your embarrassment, you cover your chest with your arms trying to obtain even a shred of modesty as your eyes squeeze shut. calloused hands gently grasp your wrists and pin them to the mattress beneath you.
"in all these years," he starts. "i have not seen anything nor anyone whose beauty shines as bright as yours. not even the finest piece of noctilucous jade or any divine being could begin to compare. . ."
he trails off, and your eyelids flutter open. before you is the former archon, and his golden eyes hold the look of a love as patient and deep as the sky just before dawn. your eyes fall from his and rake over his body. faded scars litter his torso as testament to the time he's spent in this world, and that which he must have experienced along the way. you are well aware he is not one to speak without considering the weight of his words, and thus must mean everything he says, but you still find it hard to believe.
"and if you don't believe me," he begins again, knowing you well enough by now to read your thoughts. "perhaps i will need to expel those doubts, and leave nothing behind but thoughts of pure pleasure."
your back arches at the feeling of his cock slipping inside your tight hole. a low moan leaves his parted lips as your velvety walls flutter around him. his hips move at a rhythmic pace, his movements slow as he pulls out until just the tip remains inside but hard as he thrusts his hips flush against yours once more. each time he bottoms out the tip of his cock kisses the gooey spot deep inside you. you're left dizzy and breathless from the way he fucks you, and also from his lips on yours as he kisses you deeply.
the feeling is one that will surely be etched in your memories. it's not just any one who can bring a former archon, a former god, to their knees; that power is yours alone.
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VENTI
“venti!” you gasp.
you pull away from his lips and instinctively grab his forearm as he begins rubbing you through the fabric of your clothing. it was well after sunset and long past midnight when he took you by the arm and pulled you into the side door of the church of favonius—where he proceeded to push you up against the wall and kiss you fervently. it wasn't the first time he'd done it either, but it was the first time he went any further than simply making out with you.
"we can't, not here!" you say firmly in a whisper. most of the sisters had already retired for the night, so the nave was vacant, but still.
"oh, we can't?" he sounds innocent enough that one might assume he was truly ignorant of the fact, but you know him better than that by now. "that's funny, i could have sworn this was my church."
he presses his body up against you so that you feel his growing erection through his shorts, and moves to planting kisses on your neck. he bites and sucks at your flesh, and you find yourself covering your mouth to muffle your whimpering.
"now, now that's no good," he giggles.
venti removes the hand which covers your mouth and takes both of your hands in his, and pins them against the wall at either side of you.
"i want to hear you sing for me, won't you grant me that wish? won't you sing your pretty little song for your god?"
one of his hands releases yours to slip beneath your waistband, and you feel his breath ghost over your neck with a giggles as he gathers your slick on his digits. you shudder underneath his touch, and let out a shaky moan. he could make a comment about how you're awfully aroused for someone who was vehemently against this in the first place, but decides against it—satisfied with the sound of your voice resonating throughout the empty nave when he slides two fingers into your aching cunt.
to the god of freedom, there's something so invigorating about how you're just so pliant for him, and how his control over you is effortless; his wish is your command.
strings of moans in the form of swears and his name fall from your lips in a perfectly orchestrated symphony, a sweet song just for him as his digits prod at your gooey walls and he circles his thumb around your clit. he studies your face intently with delighted emerald eyes, watching your expression contort as he curls his fingers. you’re holding onto his shoulders to keep your knees from buckling beneath you, and your nails dig into his flesh through the fabric of his shirt. with each pump of his fingers, the tips of them brush against your sweet spot, and it proves to make retaining any ounce of modesty an effort made in vain.
"ah fuck! oh gods—!" you whine. "m'close! please, please!"
"tell me, who do you worship? who's your god?" his typically bubbly and bright tone is laced with a lustful darkness.
"you! you!" you cry in desperation, feeling your orgasm draw closer and closer.
"a name?" he lilts.
"you— ah! venti! barbatos!"
the tension that had been building in your abdomen snaps as your pleasure crescendos, and you spasm around his fingers. the sliver of humility you still possess has you silently praying you're not being too loud, and sister victoria isn't about to storm out of her chambers to find you two here. though, the god you'd be praying to is the one currently finger fucking you, and something tells you that's hardly his concern at the present moment.
he pulls his fingers out from your fluttering hole, and the sheen of your slick which covers them is illuminated by the moonlight that leaks in through the stained glass windows—as is the amused, sinister smirk on your boyfriend’s face.
"tsk, such a pity," he sighs. "i didn't tell you you could cum yet, did i? in my church of all places? are you truly that depraved?"
your eyes widen and you begin to stammer out frantic apologies, "m’sorry! i’m sorry, i—"
he shakes his head, "you'll have to do better than that, you know."
"go on," his breath is hot on your ear, "get on your knees and beg your god for forgiveness."
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EI
ei's touch is typically featherlight—fingertips that ghost over your skin as if she believes that anything more will cause you to tear like a delicate sakura petal.
though sometimes, times like the present moment, her hands have a vice grip on your hips and her lips crash desperately against yours like a storm that's been brewing finally unleashing itself with a thunderous boom.
she'd long since done away with your clothes and hers, and loose strands of violet hair tickle your sternum whilst jolts of electricity shoot up your spine—figuratively and literally. there's a soft smile present on ei's face as your writhe and whimper beneath her, begging her for more, more, more.
"patience, darling," is all she says in return.
she takes another moment to engrave the scene in her memory, though it's one she's seen countless times before, it never does seem to get old. finally she repositions herself between your thighs, spreading them and kneading softly at the flesh before planting a kiss to your clit. ei holds your hips in place as your back arches and a gasp leaves your parted lips. she licks up your folds tantalizingly slow as she gazes up at you through her lashes.
"sweet as always," she remarks, the feeling her breath on your bare cunt causing your hole to flutter around nothing.
her lips attach to your clit, and she begins gently sucking and licking at the sensitive bud. your hands fumble around in search for something to grasp onto, and ei takes them and interlaces her fingers with yours. faint wisps of electro energy travel through your veins as she continues eating you out, humming every so often to hear your breath hitch at the vibrations against your pussy.
your chest heaves with staggered breaths and a thin layer of sweat sheens your body, and your face is contorted in pleasure with breathy moans leaving your lips which have been kissed swollen. the sight of you sends a pulsating warmth straight to ei's cunt, and she untwines one of your hands to begin rubbing tight circles around her own clit.
she holds her composure and the way she's toying with your clit remains gentle and tender, even as she begins approaching her own high and feels her desperation build. she nearly came just from pleasuring you, so it's no surprise she's close already. however it seems you're not far behind; your moans become higher in pitch and your now free hand tangles itself in her hair, pulling her in closer as your thighs clench around her head.
"ei, ei, ei!" you squeal. "cumming! m'cumming— ah, fuck!"
your thighs tremble and you squirm under her tongue as you gush into her mouth, the wave of your orgasm washing over you once she redirected the electro energy to your clit. the vibrations of her moans against you as she cums on her own fingers have you seeing pure white, like a flash of lightning illuminating your vision as if it were a dark grey sky.
eventually you begin to paw at her, feeling sensitive after finally coming down from your high, and she pulls away from your clit with a pop.
you pull her up into your arms, making her rest her head on your chest and you comb your fingers through her hair lovingly. she always takes such good care of everyone else, so you make an effort to take care of her every chance you get.
ei's love is gentle in nature yet firm in the way it is unrelenting; it is unconditional and undoubtedly true, and she strives each day, each moment, to ensure it is something you never forget. she's stubborn and rash, but she's just as doting and earnest. everything she holds dear she always keeps close for fear of it slipping from her grasp.
the lives of mortals are so fleeting, but her time with you is something she will cherish for all of eternity. she can only hope you do the same in whatever eternity greets you when it comes time for you to part, and she hopes the memories are enough to reunite you both in your next life.
how unfortunate it must be. . . for a god to love a human, and how cruel for a human to love.
that’s what she once thought, at least.
but now she’s of the belief that. . . perhaps it’s beautiful—to be able to love at all.
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yaemona © 20 FEBRUARY 2022 Please do not repost or recommend any of my work on other sites, especially without my permission. This includes, but is not limited to: TikTok, Wattpad, ao3, Twitter.
4K notes · View notes
tinyyoungblood · 3 years
Note
hi!! do you know that tiktok trend where the girl asks her bf if he can temporarily break up with her so she can be heartbroken when she listens to olivia rodrigo’s new album and the bf always says no? could you do that but with peter and avenger!reader? i don’t really know how the avengers play into that but i trust you to think of something great. love your work babes <3
pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader
word count: 2.7k
a/n: hey fren, tysm <3 i do know that trend, and it always warms my darn heart. you probably meant for this to be a headcanon but halfway through i realised that i was writing full sentences, so i just rolled with it bc i have no self-control lol enjoy x
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Peter, I need you to break up with me.”
Not a moment later, you heard a series of loud crashes and Peter stumbled out of the bathroom, hopping on one leg while fiddling with his zipper. “What did you just say?” His eyes were wild as they scanned your face.
“I need you to break up with me,” you repeated calmly, not taking your eyes off your laptop.
“Break up with you?” Peter echoed, hand raking through his hair in bewilderment. “Why would I do that? Do you want to break up?”
This made you look up. Peter was staring at you like you had just insulted his face, making it quite an effort to stay serious. “It’s just for 34 minutes and 46 seconds,” you assured. “So I can listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album.”
He blinked at you.
“What?”
“Please?” You set your laptop aside, shuffling to the end of the bed so you were sitting right in front of him. “I want to listen to it in full effect with a broken heart and everything.”
“I…” Peter slowly shook his head. A helpless laugh escaped him. “Um, no. Thank you.” He turned and made to return to the bathroom.
“Peter,” you whined and grabbed for his hand, pulling him to a halt.
“Sorry, angel.” He shrugged, supressing the faint tug at the corner of his mouth.
“Pleeeeaase.”
“Nope.”
You pouted. “We can break up when you train with Bucky! In that way you won’t even notice because you’ll be busy and distracted. I won’t even be on your mind.” You weren’t sure what you had said that made Peter stare at you like you were insane, but it took him a second to snap out of it.
He cupped your face with his hands and made sure to meet your eyes. “Babe, I think about you all the time.” He said it like it was a wish he wanted to word correctly. Slow and precise. Then he switched to a lighter tone that implied that he was done with the conversation. “I’m not breaking up with you.” With that he turned and left for the bathroom.
“Fine,” you called back although the water was already running and you doubted that Peter could hear you. And if he did, he probably didn’t care. You took that as your cue to leave. Defeated, you plucked your headphones into your phone and picked out a song of Olivia’s album at random.
Steve was lounging on the couch of the common room when you entered. He looked up from his magazine and gave you a small smile by way of greeting. You returned it by tapping two fingers at your temple in salute, ignoring the way how his stare lingered a little longer. You sat down next to him. When you locked eyes again, you saw the silent question on his face and let out a laugh. It ended up sounding more like a delightful scoff.
“I know Tony takes pride in being the philanthropist amongst us, but for someone who grew up in the ice age, you’re really good at reading people’s faces.” You wanted to annoy Steve, maybe even coax out a laugh, but he just kept looking at you, and you held his gaze. You were good at it—an aftereffect of living with Bucky who happened to love the same yoghurt as you did. Sometimes you put all western movies to shame with the way you narrowed your eyes at each other early in the morning in front of the fridge.
To your luck, Steve was just as stubborn, which meant that you two could’ve kept it going until death if it weren’t for the door banging open.
“I can’t believe you did this to me!” A voice boomed. You took a wild guess and assumed it was Clint.
“Tell me about it!” Another voice bellowed right back.
A second later, Sam and Clint marched into the room, furious, whereas Bucky strolled in behind them with no care in the world.
The former two were holding bags of food. Both were animated and waving their arms through the air while arguing. You turned down the volume of your phone in time to hear Steve demand, “What’s going on?”
Clint and Sam stared daggers at Bucky until Steve amended, “Buck, what did you do?”
The man in question turned around, facing his best friend in exasperation. “I asked these two to get food for me.” This earned him a snarl. Bucky waved them off and examined his metal arm, unconcerned. “Honestly, I have no idea why they’re getting so worked up about it.”
“We—” Sam gestured wildly between Clint and himself. “—were asked to pick up food for him from two different places. And neither of us knew about it!”
“Yes, neither of us knew,” Clint chimed in, eyes narrowing at Bucky who was busy flicking dust off his arm. “And I don’t know about you, Sam, but I was touched. I was moved, okay? Because Bucky never asks for anything and here I was, thinking we’re starting to bond or whatever but now I just feel USED.”
Sam gave a harsh sound in agreement.
“Bucky,” said Steve after no one had anything to add. “What do you have to say to that?”
Your gaze flitted between them, not sure what to expect. Bucky didn’t give any sign of wanting to respond, making you wonder if he had heard Cap at all. But then a slow smile swept over his lips and you noted that it was probably the most feline smile you’d ever seen. It was a smile storybook villains wore after burning down the world.
“The only thing I have to say is that I regret not having the moment they ran into each other in the elevator on video tape, because that—” He turned and looked Sam and Clint straight in the eye. “—was amazing.”
No one spoke.
“Ruthless,” you said under your breath and just like marionettes, the four men glanced you before another argument broke.
You took the chance to turn the volume back up. “happier” was playing and you settled further into the couch to watch the scene unfold. Sam was arguing so passionately that the vein on his neck was making an impressive appearance. Clint, on the other hand, had a palm pressed flat to his chest; his face showing pure betrayal. Bucky didn’t seem to care for the chaos. He tried multiple times to grab for the bags only for one of them to move out of his reach. When you glanced at Steve, you nearly lost it.
He was staring at them like his lifespan had just been reduced to ten years. He looked like he wanted to throw pebbles after them.
Nudging him with your arm, you silently handed him one of your earphones. He glanced at you and hesitated, probably thinking of the many times you had offered him a taste of blaring electronic music. You rolled your eyes and insisted again. This time, Steve took it and you watched in amusement as his brows rose in surprise.
“I like the piano,” he mouthed and glimpsed at the name of the song. You grinned.
In the meantime, Clint and Sam had decided to form an alliance. They had planted themselves in the opposite couch, digging into the contents of the brown bags while Bucky gawked at them from the other side of the room with his mouth ajar and heart ripped out of his chest. Shaking his head in disbelief, he let himself fall into the armchair facing them. He looked devastated. You weren’t sure if you had to stifle a laugh or tears.
Next to you, Steve chocked back a laugh. You quirked an eyebrow and considered him only to realise the reason behind his glee. Bucky was brooding in his seat while Sam and Clint did an excellence job on commenting every bite. Nothing has ever received as much praise as that pasta, and you were certain that if this were a cartoon, there would be rain clouds hovering above Bucky’s head. As if the angels had set it up themselves, you took notice of the lyrics.
I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me
I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go
So find someone great but don't find no one better
Bucky was pouting, poking the leather of his armchair with his finger while stealing glances at Sam and Clint. It was perfect. Steve slapped a hand on his chest and he tipped his head back, laughing.
I hope you're happy, I wish you all the best, really
Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me
And think of me fondly when your hands are on her
I hope you're happy, but don't be happier
You were both laughing hysterically. The others had stopped their on-going war to stare at the two of you; their expressions baffled. The song came to an end and Steve gave back your earphone, rubbing his eye as if wiping away a tear. He rose and walked over to Bucky, hurling him to his feet and putting an arm around his shoulders.
“Oh, Buck,” Steve said with a note of laughter in his voice. “There’s a song I need to show you.” You smiled as you watched them leave.
“Well, this was fun.” You pushed yourself off the couch and shook your head as Sam offered you some of his sushi. “Thanks, but I’m on a mission to get heartbroken.”
Leaving the men to their food, you wandered the halls and listened to “traitor” as you walked past Wanda’s room. Her door was open and you could see that Vision was in the middle of a chess game with Bruce and Wanda. By the looks of it, Vision was as good as winning and you reined the urge to cheer for him. You peaked around the door frame and saw that Vision had their king in check. Deep betrayal crossed Wanda’s face.
You chuckled quietly and whispered, “FRIDAY, play what I’m listening to right now through the speakers in Wanda’s room.” FRIDAY didn’t bother to respond but not a second later, the lyrics were blasting through her room and their heads snapped up in confusion.
Don't you dare forget about the way
You betrayed me
'Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
“Wanda?“ You heard Vision’s careful voice. “What is going on?”
Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still
You're still a traitor
“I’m not sure, but these lyrics aren’t wrong…You are a traitor.” Wanda narrowed her eyes at him, slowly bobbing her head to the music. Treason danced in her eyes. It was the beginning of a villain origin story.
“Maybe it’s a sign of God,” Bruce said and you almost burst out laughing.
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
“Hell yeah!” Wanda yelled and this time you bolted down the hallway, wheezing. You dashed right into Tony’s lab and slammed the door.
“What are you on?” He looked up in amusement. You simply shook your head, laughter still bubbling over your lips.
“Just spreading love in this facility.” You waved your hand at nothing in particular and Tony nodded.
“Right, I heard you asked Peter to break up with you to listen to that one album? Very dramatic. I like it.”
“See.” You gestured at him, indicating that he was the only one who got it. “It’s a good album. Maybe you should ask Pepper to divorce you.”
Tony gave a humourless laugh. “Yeah, I don’t think she would come back if I asked her.”
“Yikes,” you mumbled and this time Tony’s laughed for real.
“So what? You’ve just been walking around waiting for heartbreak?” He turned back to whatever he was working on. You stepped closer to get a peek.
“Precisely.”
“Sounds tiring.”
“I’m powered by exhaustion” You handed him the wrench he needed. “Want a listen? I think there’s a song you might like.”
He contemplated the offer and lifted his shoulder in a half-shrug. “Sure, why not.” You couldn’t help but squeal. You knew that Tony probably didn’t care but sharing your music was always exciting.
Beaming, you removed your headphones and connected your phone to the speakers of Tony’s lab. The first tunes of “good 4 u” started playing and Tony tapped his foot to the beat, head bobbing just slightly. When the chorus hit, he stood up and you stepped back, thinking he wanted to headbang. Instead, he reached for a tool that was further away. You didn’t miss the way he moved his shoulders in a little dance move though.
“I like this one,” he said, and you flashed him a smile. You continued working on the suit, handing Tony things you knew he needed until you passed him a plier and he froze. You furrowed your brows, glanced at the tool you knew was the right one, and cocked your head in silent question.
Maybe I'm too emotional
Or maybe you never cared at all
Looking you straight in the eyes, he flung the plier over his shoulder, opened a drawer, and took out another plier to use on his suit. You gasped.
“How dare you,” you whispered in shock. Tony had the nerve to shrug.
“Enjoy your little heartbreak moment, Y/N.” He shooed you away like a cat. “FRIDAY, yank up the volume, would you.”
Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy
Not me, if you ever cared to ask
Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me
“Guys?” Peter’s voice was drowned out by the booming music. He was leaning against the doorframe, watching in amusement as you and Tony towered on the lab tables, using screwdrivers as provisional microphones. While Tony played a terrific air guitar, you sank dramatically to your knees and impressed the crowd with your air drumming skills.
“Guys?” Peter tried again, chuckling. This time you and Tony whipped around at the same time and pointed straight at Peter.
Like a damn sociopath
You threw your arms up in the air and spun in circles while Tony jumped into quite an impressive split leap.
I've lost my mind
I've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom
Just over the fact that I really don't get it
But I guess good for you
The song came to an end, and you leapt on Tony’s table to share a screwdriver with him as you sang the last lyrics together.
Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily
The song ended and all you could hear was heavy breathing. Peter began to clap. “This was great, you guys. Wow.”
You exchanged glances with Tony before making a show of bowing at the waist.
“So this is what happens when I refuse to break up with you?” Peter strolled over to where you sat on the lab table, positioning himself between your legs. Tony chuckled and jumped off to grab a water bottle from across the room.
“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that,” you said, just for the devil of it.
Peter smiled. “Cap and Bucky are crying over a song, Vision is sending Wanda flowers in ten-minute intervals, and you are down here having a rock concert with Tony.”
You gave him a toothy grin. “I was just feeling sour.”
* * *
stay hydrated pals
2K notes · View notes
moonlit-reveriee · 3 years
Text
Baby Blue
technoblade x fem!reader
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concept: techno is scared of ‘corrupting’ the reader, but the reader’s kinda into it...
content warning // NSFW, virgin!reader, very minor angst?, small argument that gets resolved
listen to this while you read: BBBlue (Single) by Olivver the Kid
(this fic was heavily inspired by the lyrics of this song, so i highly recommended giving it a listen!)
───※ ·❆· ※───
When Techno found out you were a virgin, he was terrified. Not necessarily of the thought itself, but of the implications.
He’d never forget the look on your face when you told him. You tried to be casual about it, but he knew you well enough to spot the dusting of pink across your cheeks. You nuzzled yourself closer into his side. Whether out of embarrassment or something else entirely, he couldn’t tell. All he could feel was his heart dropping as the voices chanted at him to “ruin her”
Of course you, his pure sweet angel, would be a virgin. He once again crumbled under the idea that you had chosen him. How on earth could a person like you even think of being with a beast like him. Yet alone, giving up your virginity to him.
He hated how horribly turned on he was by the thought of taking it.
The voices had been relentless about it ever since. They were hyper focused on your every move, twisting every thought of his into something promiscuous. When you rolled out of bed in the morning and stretched, a small sigh escaping your lips, it was endless cries of “make her do that again” “you should fuck those moans out of her” “make her scream”
While making breakfast together in the morning, they wouldn’t stop telling him to “bend her over the counter” “take it right here”
Even at times where he was alone, the voices preoccupied him with endless thoughts of you. He was fairly certain they had forced him to imagine every possible way in which he could have you. “imagine fucking her against the wall” “you can be gentle for the first time y’know” “she’d feel so good writhing underneath us” “press her face into the mattress instead” “make her get on her knees and suck you off” “she’ll be such a pretty little slut for us”
He tried to take care of himself as often as he could, but it was becoming impossible to keep up with. There were only so many times a day he could jerk himself off alone behind locked doors. He was desperate, and sexually frustrated to say the least.
He felt disgusting for it.
After a week of this torment, he could barely even look at you yet alone touch you without the voices and his own guilt pounding against his skull. You couldn’t even think about broaching the subject again, because he was avoiding physical contact like the plague. He wouldn’t come to bed until he knew you were asleep, and would leave long before you woke.
As much as he tried to hide it, you could tell he was tired. Something was wrong, but you knew that he’d never just tell you about his problems unprompted. Techno was insufferably stubborn in that way. After several days of avoiding your gaze and leaning away from your touch, you chose to confront him.
“Techno”, you called for his attention quietly, trying to sound stern while remaining gentle with him. He didn’t turn to fully face you, but he glanced at the spot on the wall just above your head.
You struggled to find the words you wanted to say, so you settled on telling him, “Techno, you look tired.”
He turned his attention away from you. “Just a lot of work around the house this week. I’ll be fine after I rest.”
“Then come to bed with me.” You saw the way his body tensed and tilted away from you at that simple suggestion.
“I just need to write a couple letters first. You can go ahead of me.”
“Techno...”, you whined, daring to take a step closer to him. He gave you an almost panicked look, “why does it feel like you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I haven’t been avoiding you”, he responded quickly, trying to look through you instead of at you.
“Yes you have”, you responded firmly. A flash of guilt washed over his face at your tone. “You haven’t kissed or touched me for nearly a week now. I don’t even know for sure if you sleep in the same bed as me anymore. Fuck, you barely even talk to me.”
Angry tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, but you wanted to hold them in. Techno felt his chest tighten at the sight of it. He instinctively turned and reached out to comfort you, but forced himself to freeze.
“There”, you said, gesturing towards him, “just like that. You’re stopping yourself. Why are you doing that?”
He repeatedly opened and closed his fists at his side, wanting to have any conversation other than this one.
“[y/n], there’s just a lot going on in my mind right now”, he said. It wasn’t a complete lie. “I just need to work though it.”
“Then let me help you.”
“No”, he responded a little too quickly, “I- I mean, I just don’t want to talk about it with you yet...”
“Why not?”, you retorted, trying to squeeze any information you could out of him.
“I just don’t, okay? It’s uncomfortable, I don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“... is this about me being a virgin?”
“I never said that”, he replied, but the tension in his shoulders was enough to tip you off.
“Ah geez Technoblade, if it was that much of a problem for ya, you should have just told me”, you said sarcastically, “instead of avoiding all physical contact for a like week straight!”
“It’s not a problem, [y/n].”
“Certainly doesn’t feel that way.”
Techno huffed in frustration, grabbing a fistful of his hair at the root. He wasn’t sure if he was more upset with himself, or the fact that a few of the voices were still begging him to “please fuck her already”
“Love, I wasn’t avoiding you because I didn’t want it. They”, he tapped a finger against the side of his skull, “they want it so badly. It’s driving me insane.”
He breathed in and out shakily, trying to gauge your expression in the brief moments before he continued.
“I’m a monster. I’ve spilt more blood than anyone every should in a single lifetime. My appearance is more beast than man.”
He looked up briefly to find you staring right at him, a tight-lipped frown upon your face.
“What does that have to do with any of this?”
“I- ... I don’t want to corrupt your innocence”, he admitted.
“What on earth do you mean by that?”
“[y/n], you’re so perfect”, he answered almost breathlessly, “you’re so kind and so pure. Just living with me does enough to taint your reputation, I don’t wanna-“
He cut himself off to swallow thickly. He almost seemed scared of the words he was going to say next.
“I don’t want to ruin this part of you either...”
A heavy silence filled the tiny sitting room of techno’s cottage. In those few seconds, your eyes widened ever so slightly as his words suddenly clicked in your mind. This hulking boar of a man, an undisputed war criminal, was scared. He was scared of damaging you, your reputation, or your recently revealed ‘innocence’. Compared to himself, he saw you as a pure being who could be tainted by unwholesome thoughts.
If what he said about the voices was true, then his actions of the past few days would’ve made sense for him.
“Oh techno...”, you muttered softly, tentatively placing a hand on his jaw. His posture was curled inward, making him look small despite his size. He was stiff at first, but allowed you to lift his gaze to meet yours. He searched your eyes desperately for an indication of your reaction. You gave him a reassuring smile.
“Do you remember when we first met?”
A small wave of confusion washed over his face, but he nodded anyways. “It was at the festival...”
“That’s right”, you said, moving the hand on his face down to rest over his shoulder, “and do you remember what I did that day?”
“You threw an axe into Schlatt’s shoulder”, he answered, watching as the scene played out in his memory.
You lived with Niki in her bakery at the time, and witnessed firsthand the injustice she faced during Schlatt’s presidency. As the chaos after Tubbo’s execution occurred, you took the opportunity to hurl your axe where Schlatt stood upon his podium. The blow wasn’t fatal, but that wasn’t necessarily your goal. You just wanted to see the man in pain.
“It was a lucky shot really”, you admitted, “I wasn’t even aiming properly.” That managed to draw a small smile onto Techno’s lips.
“And do you remember”, you continued, “when I tried to confront the Butcher Army by myself?”
He grimaced at the thought. You had told him you just needed to make a quick trip to L’manburg for some supplies, leaving him at home alone to recover from the previous day’s events. You returned that evening with a sprained wrist and a couple large bruises forming on your body. None of them were trying to kill you, but you took a pretty good beating from Quackity just for trying to confront them.
“Why are you bringing all of this up now?”, he asked.
“Because”, you said, “this is the evidence that will support my next point.”
He looked bewildered by that statement, but continued to listen.
“I’m not a perfect person”, you resumed, “I have blood on my hands just like you do. I know it’s hard to compare to you, but I’m not devoid of my own sins. I can be mean, I’ve hurt people. I’m not a pure, angelic being who would quiver at a single inappropriate thought. I think you forget that sometimes.”
He let your words swirl around in his head; he couldn’t deny the logic in them. The evidence prevented him from denying the truth of your statement. He could almost be mad that you’d talked him into a corner, but he was more overjoyed at the fact that you knew him well enough to do so.
“And you know...”, you spoke quietly, letting your hand fall down to rest on his chest, “if you did somehow ‘corrupt my innocence’ as you say... I really wouldn’t mind that.”
Techno’s breath hitched in his throat. There were a brief few moments, maybe minutes, where he just stared at you. Then his lips were on yours; sudden and clumsy, but passionate. You gripped the fabric of his shirt as he grabbed at your waist, desperate to have you in his arms again.
“I’m sorry, I had to”, he muttered, his lips left hovering a hair’s breadth away from yours.
“You’re so silly sometimes”, you sighed affectionately, rubbing small circles into his collarbone. He gave you a gentle smirk before pressing another kiss into your lips.
“I’m sorry darling, I really am”, he said as he drew you into a tight hug. He took in your scent and the feel of your skin for the first time in days. It felt like he could survive off the feeling of your arms wrapped around his body alone. He wondered why he ever let himself be depraved of this.
“You know I trust you, right?”, you spoke with your face pressed into his chest.
“I’m not sure why, but yes.”
You decided not to reprimand him for saying that. You could help him unpack all that later. Instead, you brought your head up to whisper in his ear.
“You have my full and unconditional consent to take my virginity whenever you’re ready.”
Techno inhaled and held his breath, though for what, he wasn’t sure. It took a while for the full weight of those words to sink in. He leaned back to stare at your face, bringing one of his large and shaky hands up to cup your cheek.
“Are you sure?”, his eyes were wide with trepidation, practically pleading with you to tell him the truth. You leaned into his palm, indulging in the feeling of his skin on yours.
“I want you, techno. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
Techno was lost in your words. The sudden absence of guilt left his heart light and airy in his chest. For the first time in days, the voices were only a gentle murmur.
“she’s so beautiful” “she wants you” “make her feel good” “show her how special she is” “make her smile” “she’ll be so pretty” “she’s always pretty” “be gentle, no need to rush”
“make love to her”
“... I think I’m ready now.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
ayyyy guess who finally finished writing something!!!
parts of this feel a little rushed but ehhhhhh i was just excited to finally post it. i looove writing techno as an extremely self-conscious character who’s too caught up in their own head to see how ridiculous they’re being. so, this was a treat for me to write
i hope you enjoyed :D
-moonlight
2K notes · View notes
pleasantanathema · 3 years
Text
Pleasant’s Writer Recs!
I’ve gotten a few asks in my inbox over the past few weeks asking me for writer recs, so I thought the best way to do this was to compile a list of my fav authors on tumblr and rec my favorite fic of theirs! A lot of these amazing authors are moots—I’m very lucky to call many of them close friends. This list could be much longer, and I could go on for days about every single author, but I’ll try to keep it brief. Most all of these authors, like myself, write 18+ only content. Hopefully this can be a useful tool for authors and readers alike looking for amazing fanfic 💕
@bakatenshii | Angel is so phenomenal with her writing that I almost can’t put her style and amazing ability into words (but I’ll try). Angel’s work is beautiful, masterful, full of poetry, elegance, and smut that will all leave you gasping. Fav Fic: Blitz [Ushijima x Reader]
@blahkugo | Sunnt, Thunnth, Sunny, whatever you call her, she is brilliant. No one writes Tsukishima quite like she does. She is beyond creative and her writing style flows like the sexiest water, it’ll make you thirsty and quench your aches. Fav Fic: Tower [Tsukishima x Reader]
@deathcab4daddy | Tay is all about details, details, details. She fills in every gap and paints gorgeous, sexy pictures and situations for the reader to feel immersed in. Fav Fic: Cerulean Blue [Akaashi x Reader]
@dymphnasprose | Dymphna is all about fun, sex, and slowly filling out her holy bible of smut. She’s amazing at creating realistic sub/dom relationships and her smut almost always comes with a healthy dose of build-up. Fav Fic: Green Scrunchies [Ukai x Reader]
@enjifuckersupreme | Ketsl reigns supreme over pure, unadulterated porn. They are phenomenal at making me the reader wet, and every fic is crafted with so much care. Enji fuckers should bow down at their feet, no one loves and writes Enji like Ketsl. Fav Fic: Attitude Adjustment [Enji x Reader]
@hisoknen | Raph is one of the first dark blogs I ever started reading, and she never, ever disappoints. She writes pieces that chill you to the bone, but warms your sex- her writing is casual, smooth, and realistic, always giving you everything you need, but leaving you wanting a little more. Fav Fic: Sleeping Beauty [Dabi x Reader]
@hoe-doroki | Ana is one of the sweetest writers I know. Every time I talk to her, she’s working on comfort requests or beta-reading for other people. Her writing is such a pleasure to read, as you can tell she pours love and consideration into every fic for her readers. Fav Fic: Can’t Find My Breath [Bakugou x Reader]
@joyousandverywarlike | Zo...holy fucking shit. Zo is a writer who consistently blows me out of the water with her skill. This woman is a novelist blessing us with juicy, rich smut and love stories like no one else can. She is incredibly poetic and her writing is an absolute joy to read; she also writes amazing fics for black readers and has an amazing voice that she uses for asmr audios! Fav Fic: How We Met [Ushijima x Reader]
@lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten | Leah is an author who takes immense care with her work. She works incredibly hard to craft sexy, healthy bdsm fics for bnha. She is a great blog to go to for bdsm education, and she’s also got a side blog @lemonlordleah-extra-sour for all you extra naughty readers who like the darker side of fanfic. You should also check out her Patreon! Fav Fic: Between the Evergreen [Aizawa x Reader]
@linestrider | Nyki’s work is like smooth water, it’s calming, refreshing, but she also adds a nice, chill bite to it as well with her darker style. Nyki puts such an impressive amount of care into her work; a word is never out of place, every sentence has meaning, every paragraph gives you something new. It was very hard to choose just one fic to recommend. Fav Fic: What’s Said is Said [Hawks x Reader]
@lookslikeleese | Leese is one of the most fun writers on Tumblr, and by that I mean you just have a shitload of fun reading her fics. They are like little, sexy treats to take in right before bed and feel a little more full than you were before. She is also the Cucking Queen. Fav Fic: Cola [Enji x Reader] 
@messwriting | Lee is also another fun writer! Her writing is exhilarating to read, and you’d never guess she’s a sexy Brazilian whose second language is English based on how well she writes. She’s a little sex goddess who will give you everything you want and more in every fic. Fav Fic: What We Could’ve Been [Tsukishima x Reader]
@mindninjax | Marquie is a full on sweetie with a sexy side. She. Is. So. Creative. Every fic of hers is so unique and her masterlist is a whole reading experience. She writes Bakugou Katsuki so damn well, she’s a master at characterization, even in au’s. She also writes beautiful fics for black readers. Fav Fic: Bound to You [Bakugou x Reader]
@nekokoafanfictions | I first found Ai on Ao3, and then was fortunate enough to come across their blog here on Tumblr! I’ve said this before in previous rec lists, and I’ll say it again, I still read their fics some nights to fall asleep to, they are just that good, every fic will have you coming back at some point to read it again. Fav Fic: City Lights [Enji x Reader]
@present-mel | The. Queen. Of. Dialogue. Mel is a master at making her fanfic feel real, gritty, sexy, and beautiful all at the same time. This woman pours her heart and soul into fanfic, especially into her Erwin series Fragments of Memories. I was so captivated by her work that I just had to become her friend, her work is enchanting and thrilling. Fav Fic: Until the Fire Played [Enji x Reader]
@rat-suki | Annie makes me horny. Like, real horny. Her smut is fantastic and are often little thrill rides within themselves. Fuck rollercoasters, just go to Annie’s masterlist to find a joy ride. Fav Fic: Hell Fire [Enji x Reader]
@rivendell101 | I’m such a big fan of Alisha, that I sent her a request months ago before we even became friends. This author knows how to craft a story, her work is very meticulous with details and her plots are always so spot on. Fav Fic: Sweet Thing [Natsuo x Reader]
@smutbardpeach | Smutbard is the most accurate title for Peach, as her fics read like poetry and song, filled with beautiful language, imagery, and allusions to the brim. If you’re ever looking for something romantic, sensual, delightful, and just overall magnificent to read, this is the blog to go to. Peach’s work is like reading poetry and classics right off the shelf. Fav Fic: Truth in Wine [Hizashi x Reader]
@spicyness | Are you thirsty? Do you like fun, sexy headcanons? Ness is the author for you. Ness is so, so fun and sweet, and is active with her followers and is always posting something new and creative for us to nibble at. Her blog is full of fun thirsts and she’s always a joy to see pop-up on my dash. Fav Fic: Pride [Bakugou x Reader]
@sugardaddykenma | Lin has the most amazing brain. I wish I could just...see and understand how she thinks. Her blog is full to the brim with hilarious, iconic, and down right fucking true headcanons for haikyuu characters. Many nights I have stayed up laughing my ass off and saying “why is that so true?” while reading through her astonishingly creative work. Fav Fic: Haikyuu on Drugs
@thewheezingwyvern | Wyv is a writer who gets straight to the point; her words are poignant, meaningful, and always paint a very clear picture. She is a Shinsou and Aizawa lover/fucker all the way to her core, and she’s amazing at bringing those characters to life in her work. Fav Fic: Salt Lines [Aizawa & Shinsou x Reader]
@thisisthehardestthing | Claudia is one of the most talented writers I have ever met. Period. She has a vocabulary, a depth, an ability to craft the most intense, alluring, and magnificent fanfic you’ve ever read. Most of her work doesn’t even seem like fanfic, it reads like love letters stuffed into the pages of a book that stand the test of time with her marvelous writing abilities. She always awes me, as every single fic is unique and powerful it its own way. Fav Fic: Tocka [Tanaka x Reader]
@tomurasprincess | The Queen of Darkness herself, Mari is amazing at fulfilling all of your dark desires. I’ve never met anyone else who is as active as she is with her followers, as she’s constantly pushing herself to answer requests and give people exactly what they want to see. She has such an expansive masterlist, any dark fic lover can find something worthwhile from her! She’s almost made a Shigaraki fucker out of me, almost. Fav Fic: Wraith’s Touch [Shigaraki x Reader]
@undermattsun | Miki taught me what a skate rat is. Do I understand it yet? Not really, but I fucking like it. Miki is so much fun and is always active with her followers, giving out awesome thirsts, visuals, and headcanons for her fav haikyuu characters. Fav Fic: Flavor of the Month [Matsukawa x Reader]
@vixen-scribbles | Vixen is someone who cares about everyone around her, and her blog reflects that. Amongst all her amazing writing, you’ll always find her recommending her friends and supporting other writers. Her writing is fucking sexy, she knows her way around the bedroom when it comes to fics, and she’s got a lengthy masterlist to fawn over. Fav Fic: Take All of Me [Ushijima x Reader]
@whats-her-quirk | Truly, the best has been saved for last. June’s work is the heart and soul of classic, fucking amazing fanfic. I can’t even explain how much I love her fics, like they will put the biggest smile on your face and have your thighs rubbing together in anticipation. June is writing her fantasies and having fun, and we are privileged to enjoy the ride with her. She knocked kinktober out of the fucking park, with each fic being a new, fresh delight. Fav Fic: Once in a Blue Moon [Karasuno x Reader Gangbang]
This list could honestly be twice as long, and perhaps in the future I’ll make a companion to it as I meet new authors and read more amazing fanfic. Please give all these authors a follow or at least check out their blogs. 💖
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levis-little-nuggie · 3 years
Note
hi! i just saw the post about requests and could you write some fluffy sex headcanons with the brothers? we don't really see stuff like that so i thought i'd ask
Bless you nonny for the request 💜💜 this uh, turned out a lot longer than I had anticipated, probably because I haven't written anything in a good while 😅
Asmo and Belphie will have their own posts 💜
Nsft, obviously, so everything is under the Read More. I made the reader as gender neutral and inclusive as I could. Please let me know if at any point, I was exclusive.
Fluffy Sex Headcanons of the Demon Brothers
(minus Asmo and Belphie)
Lucifer
This man will top or bottom solely dependent upon what you want. Sex with him is moreso about pleasing his partner than just getting off. His preferences are fine tuned to your desires and your body’s limits. Lucifer’s sin feeds off of the immense pride a lover feels when they know you and your body better than you do
He may act cold and aloof in public and in front of others, coming off as stoic and arrogant, but it’s a completely different story behind closed doors.
However you want him, he’ll comply. You’ve done the impossible and captured his heart.  Don’t let this old man and his brown shoes fool you, he’ll drown you in passion.
He’ll gladly play the Dom role, but he’ll also gladly be your sub as well.
If you’re into BDSM and prefer him to Dom, you can expect an intensive aftercare routine that would rival Asmo’s. It’s not that he doesn’t like hurting you or pushing you to your limits, he just wants to reward you for being so good for him and wants to remind you how much he loves you.
If you’re into BDSM and prefer to Dom yourself, go crazy! While you would be capable of marking and bruising his skin, you can’t physically hurt or break him beyond light scratches. He can break out of whatever restraints you put him, even if they are demon-grade. You would need actual spells to diminish his strength to put him on par with a lower-class demon if you wanted him to actually feel any real pain, but if it’s what you want, he’ll do it. Expect a conversation beforehand about what you want and how he can do that for you. He wants there to be clear communication so he knows how best to serve you in the moments to come.
Sure the sex is fantastic, but he’ll show you how much he loves you in the tender moments after. The afterglow is his favorite part, both of you basking in the remnants of pleasure coursing through you, the physical numbness, and the swell of feel-good chemicals swirling through your bodies. This is when he’ll hold you closest, pepper your skin with kisses unable to stop himself, he’ll play with your hair if you have it, his eyes will be bright, his smile will be unrestrained. He may even start humming a long-forgotten lullaby or your favorite song as he rests his head against your chest, hearing your heartbeat in blissful content until one of you decides it’s time to get cleaned up.
No matter how long the day has been, the amount of hours he’s put into all that damn paperwork, he’ll always make time to pamper you after sex. If you prefer to shower alone, he’ll let you go first and have the bed ready with new, clean sheets and clean towels set out for you when you’re done. Prefer to sleep with pajamas? He has a drawer dedicated to your favorite things along with some new ones he bought for you.
Mammon
Ah yes, the tsundere. The dumbass in the streets, dumbass in the sheets. The one who has more hair-brained ideas than he does fingers and toes in one week. One of the greatest banes of Lucifer’s existence.
His push and pull personality might have you questioning the validity of his feelings, but I believe that Mammon wouldn’t be partaking in fluffy sex at all unless he was absolutely smitten.
With how his brothers treat him, he’s reluctant to open his heart to you and fully accept that at some point, you won’t start insulting him either. However, equipped with the sin of greed, Mammon’s completely helpless when you compliment and reassure him. 
His standoffish attitude is a front, a feeble attempt to keep up his reputation as “The Great Mammon,” but he’s got himself wrapped around your finger before he even realizes it and that facade would melt away instantly at your smallest of smiles, a kiss on his cheek or back of his hand, a surprise compliment, anything that makes his heart skip a beat. 
Of the brothers, he has one of the weakest composers around you mainly because he’s also one of the horniest. 
Sex with Mammon can be rushed;  a quickie between classes, a broken composure that has him feeling dehydrated for you, a clash of tongues and teech and a burning desire that encompasses both of you until you find release.
However, the sweetest and fluffiest sex with Mammon would be when either of you are feeling emotionally vulnerable. 
He’ll treat you like you’re the greatest treasure to have ever existed in all three realms, with a delicacy as if you’re fragile because he knows he can be careless and reckless. He’ll be in his head a lot making sure he’s taking care of you, that you feel good, doing his damndest to keep you satisfied so there’s no room in your heart to doubt him. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep that sparkle in your eye when you look at him, to never lose you and never have to experience the day you realize his brothers have been right all along. 
And I mean he’ll do whatever and however. Any wish is his command, but you’ll have more work cut out for you if you suggest the both of you participating in a threesome or more. He wants you all to himself, it’s his greed, but it’s your reassurance and validation that will have him like putty in your hand. 
He’s more than okay with both of you falling asleep in your mess, but more often than not, he’ll wait until you’ve dozed off to clean up. In these moments, he takes the time to worship every inch of your skin, like polishing a priceless jewel. His intentions are pure, most of the time, he just likes to wait till you’re asleep so there’s no chance for you to tease him about it. It also allows his greed to soak up your peaceful expression, the way your body reaches out to him after he’s finished cleaning and comes back to curl up next to you. 
There’s a secret photo album hidden on his phone filled with pictures of the both of you like this, your lashes against your cheeks, your freckles or sun spots, any blemishes or scars that he’s covered in kisses countless of times, your hand in his and vice versa, memories of how sweet and tender your love is, filled with emotions he struggles to put into words. 
Leviathan
It all depends how you play your cards with this one. Teasing him is easy and it’ll get him all flustered, but pair that with his raging horniness and you’ll be walking a fine line between a Dom or sub Levi.
However, if it’s fluffy and sweet sex you want, treat him gently and he’ll return the favor. It’ll take a bit of time and effort to get here, on both your parts, but if you’re willing to put in the work, he’ll make it worth it. Like Mammon, this means sex will be its fluffiest when either both of you or one of you is emotionally vulnerable.
We’ve recently been blessed by the devs on a cannon description of his tail, confirming that it is snake-like with scales. This also means, however, that his tail is sensitive to touch and he has full control of its movements. During a more sweet intimacy, he likes to wrap his tail around a limb, your arm or your leg. It’s only when he’s in Dom or sub mode that he likes to use his tail in a more active manner.
It’s important for him, whether he realizes it or not, that during these moments, that he’s the one touching you, not his tail. If you ask him to use his tail too much during sex, he’ll start to think that you’re only with him because of his tail.
He’ll want to see you even though his room is dimly lit. He also knows his tub bed might not be the most comfortable so he’ll invest in a mattress to put on the floor by the tank, and a few fluffy blankets, from the Ruri-chan line of course, to keep you warm and comfortable so you’ll never want to leave his room, just like him.
He prefers any position that has the two of you lying together, with your face in clear view because he can’t get enough of the faces you make because of the pleasure he’s responsible for making you feel. He’ll be more focused on your voice, your body language, your reactions to reassure him he’s doing something right.
To see your naked skin kissed with the reflection of the water from the tank is his favorite part. He actually got a nosebleed the first time he saw you like that. 
Sex with the otaku is a learning experience that requires patience and repetitive reassurance. He’s certain that no one could ever love him, and it’s going to cost a lot of mental energy, and it can be disheartening at times where it seems he’s not made any progress in loving himself at all, but you’ll both also have an opportunity to create something truly beautiful between the two of you. Falling in love with your best friend, and having your feelings returned with all their heart is one of the most beautiful things to ever experience.
Satan
I like to imagine that Satan is akin to that tiger DILF in Zootopia looking at his tablet while on the train, you know, the one who looks like he’ll take good care of you? Listen, during one of his Devilgram stories, the man pitches a tent (like an actual tent, not a boner you guys) and makes both of you cups of hot chocolate. You can pry this hc out of my cold, dead hands.
Sex with Satan is actually more often fluffy and sweet than anyone would assume because he’s the Avatar of Wrath. Just like all the other brothers, Satan is more than his sin. That being said, Satan is still CEO of Angry Sex™ but he’s also more intune to his own feelings than the rest of his brothers. 
It’s after his more violent fits of rage that he’s seeking your comfort. It’s difficult for him to come down from his wrath; the worse the fit is, the more broken and twisted he feels. He didn’t like coming to you at first because he knows how mentally draining it can be for a human to deal with someone like that, but you’ve insisted in your endearing and stubborn way that he can and needs to rely on you more. You threatened to find all the sources proving your point for the success of any relationship and he eventually gave in, accepting your kindness and your love.
In turn, he provides you with an arsenal of reading material and spells you can arm yourself with for a plethora of reasons; mainly self-defense against demons, a history of successful and failed attempts to prank Lucifer, as well as guides for subjects in class to help you study.
Unlike his previous brothers, sex with Satan is more about the pleasure you both feel. Of course he’ll still be mindful of your pleasure, but he can also get lost in his own desire. No matter how far gone he is, you know that the moment you utter the safeword, he’ll stop immediately and assess the situation. The safeword is actually a simple spell that he’d found when you two started getting more intimate.
On days he’s feeling extra playful, he’ll dress up for you; a collar with a bell, cat ears, a butt plug with a tail attached. He loves to be your little kitty cat, and will practically foam at the mouth if you ever dressed up like a slutty cat for him, but this doesn’t lead to fluffy smut times.
While he has no issues with PDA, Satan reserves his more soft and fluffy side for when you two are totally alone. He’s proactive in looking up cute date ideas and is the type to go all out turning his bed or his floor into a nest of pillows and blankets, cups of tea, hot chocolate, coffee, whatever you prefer, a variety of little snacks, and turn his wall into a projection screen to watch old-fashioned black and white romance movies. 
For Satan, it’s the moments leading up to the sweet intimacy filled with love and adoration that are his favorites. Being the reason your face brightens, tears of happiness well in the corner of your eyes, the way your smile makes his heart stutters, Satan loves showing you how much you mean to him mainly because he knows he’s not the best with words. He could recite any poem of strings of song lyrics, but he believes actions speak louder than words.
He actually prefers for you to have control in these moments; there’s less of a chance he could hurt you and it’s another way to prove his love. He’ll only ever bottom for you. He was reluctant at first, but it’s like you opened his eyes to a whole new world he didn’t know about. He still likes to act like he's a cat and you're his mouse, but he also likes it when you take over and make him bow to your whim. You've gained his trust as well as his heart and he believes that the power dynamic in a relationship should be balanced.
During the most intimate moments, either right after sex or waking up together in the morning after sleeping in, you'll both enter this Cat Speak mode. One of you will start, just a cute little "mrow?" and you'll go back and forth entertaining a semblance of a conversation but without saying anything. There's no actual conversation happening, it's just the two of you making cat noises at each other, giggling and riding the high of this special intimacy specially reserved for these moments of bliss.
Beel
Let’s be honest, 9 times out of 10 your sex with the sixth-born will be fluffy and sweet. He’s like the personified version of a golden retriever. He loves you and has the instinct to want to take care of you. You’re such a small, delicate human, and his brothers love you too so when you’re in Beel’s care, he makes sure you’re satisfied more than just sexually. 
Anything you’re willing to give him, he’ll accept wholeheartedly expressing his love and gratitude in the form of huge grins, hugs, a hearty chuckle, and peppering kisses across your face. 
Even though he’s not as sexually active as some of his brothers, once you get this big guy started, be prepared to cancel any plans you have for the rest of the day… and also the day after just to be safe. He has the most energy and will keep going until he’s had you against every solid surface in his room, minus Belphie’s furniture of course. Regardless of your size or how you look, he’ll make you feel weightless as he carries you around the room effortlessly
He loves the way you taste, gliding his tongue over your skin like you’re an ice-cream cone that never melts, he’s actually growled a number of times when you tried pulling yourself away from him. His eyes had turned shades darker than normal before you snapped him out of it. He would apologize profusely and kill the mood so as to make sure he’s in the right headspace and you’re okay. 
This has only happened a few times, but he still loves to taste every inch of you whenever he has you all to himself. He leaves you covered in hickeys and love bites and even though he’ll apologize, you know he feels absolutely no shame in his brother’s reactions to seeing you covered the next day. 
His favorite part is helping you ride out your orgasm with his mouth. He knows he’s more skilled with his mouth anyway and just, the man cannot get enough of you or your taste. Depending on where he’s at when you orgasm, if he’s close, he’ll paint your skin in his release, and then clean up the mess and drag you in for snuggles. If he’s not quite there yet, he’ll assess your energy levels and wait until you’re ready to go again or keep going, depending on who topped or bottomed. He’s all about consent and wants to join you when you’re fully blissed out regardless if he’s finished or not (meaning he’ll deny his own release in order to lie with you).
Aftercare comes almost second nature to him. He’s already carrying you to the bathroom and soaking you off in the shower before you realize it. The warm water and his large hands invade your senses and he urges you to let go, to let him take care of you and it’s like a dream. His calloused hands offer a sort of comforting roughness that keeps you grounded. If you want shower sex, you’ll have to initiate it.
Actually, that’s pretty accurate for Beel. You want sex? You’re either going to have to initiate it or tell him straight out. Poor guy does not take hints well as he is very oblivious.
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jiminzfilter · 3 years
Text
slow dancing in the night
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→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader
→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing
→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?
→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)
→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)
→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook
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Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.
Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.
Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.
Yeah, it was exhausting.
This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.
It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.
He is not working today.
That lucky bastard.
He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.
You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.
You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.
Okay no. Let’s be real.
You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.
It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.
Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.
Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.
But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.
I mean.
Who could blame you ??
That was Kim frEaking Taehyung
!!!
He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.
It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie
Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.
First day of work and you’re already failing falling.
That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily
If only
The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.
GreaT
He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.
From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)
After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.
So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.
He was still your best friend...somehow
Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life
And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.
8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.
Especially while wearing heels
Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said
“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”
You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”
“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”
You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”
The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.
Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.
After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.
Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.
It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.
It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.
A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.
Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss
It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)
You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…
It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.
Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…
:(
You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”
There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.
Weird…
“Taehyung ?" You call one last time
Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back
“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”
You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.
“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.
Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.
“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.
“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles
“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”
“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him
“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.
You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.
After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.
Once again, you smell lavender all around you.
When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt
“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.
“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”
“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”
Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.
As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.
oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.
Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.
Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.
The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀
“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”
He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.
You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.
“Hi there beautiful” He whispers
“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising
“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”
You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.
You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.
“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along
“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.
“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.
Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”
If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.
As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”
You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.
“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks
“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.
“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”
He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck
“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.
- You do?
- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?
- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat
“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge
“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”
“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open
what did he sayyyyyyyy?????
whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd
You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.
There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.
“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”
This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?
Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.
He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple
OkaY
now he’s being a tease
Great
1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung
gReAT
Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.
Really.good.freaking.turn.on
Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.
“Tae…”
He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.
“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”
You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-
“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.
It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.
You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.
You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.
“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks
“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply
He laughs, deep raspy laugh.
You’re too tired for this
And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D
Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.
He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.
Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.
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nev3rfound · 3 years
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daydreams : b.b
there’s always been something between you and bucky. but when it comes to telling him, you’re left wishing for a daydream that’ll never be. (inspired by the song daydream by maisie peters)  (2.2k)
masterlist / permanent taglist
(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)
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“Mornin’ Y/n,” Your ears perk up as Bucky strolls into the kitchen with a tired smile, one that never fails to warm your heart.
Natasha resists the urge to chuckle at your lovesick state as you try to subtly watch Bucky make his morning coffee. “Sleep well, Barnes?” Natasha asks, seeing your eyes widen out of the corner of your eyes. If only Wanda were here, she’d love to know what you’re thinking about.
“Not really, I’ve been finding it hard to fall asleep.” Bucky explains, now leaning against the kitchen counter as he blows on his coffee, unaware of the near heart palpations you’re having at the sight of his pursed lips. “A lot on my mind, but nothing at the same time.”
“I get that,” You speak up, now catching Bucky’s attention. “you wish your brain had an off switch, god knows I need one.” You chuckle into your cereal and hear Bucky laugh softly to himself.
“Well, maybe Tony will make one for us someday, doll.” Bucky jokes as he winks to you and nods to Natasha before exiting the kitchen.
Natasha raises a brow to you as you try and avoid choking on your cereal. “Huh, doll?” Natasha quips, causing you nearly splutter your coffee all over the counter.
“Oh stop,” You nudge her lightly. “it’s nothing really. Bucky calls all of us doll.”
“I don’t think so,” Natasha comments. “I think you’re the only one he calls doll, Y/n.”
You shake your head in disbelief. “Nah, I swear I’ve heard him call Wanda doll before.” You trail off, trying to think deeply if you’ve actually heard him call anyone by the nickname, or if in fact, it has only been you.
Picking up her coffee, Natasha simply mumbles into it. “Whatever helps you get through the day, Y/n.”
*
Yawning, you couldn’t help but feel your eyes drooping as you stare at the screen.
“We keeping you up, Y/n?” Steve jokes as you curl up on one end of the sofa whilst Bucky remains on the other.
“Nope, I’m good.” You comment, giving Steve a thumbs up.
“And you call us old, huh?” Bucky adds, feeling you kick his foot off the sofa playfully as you pick up a cushion and hug it tightly.
Within a matter of minutes, you give in to the desire to fall asleep. At first, neither men notice the lack of comments or shuffling from you. But when you subconsciously dip towards Bucky, his reflexes aren’t what they once were.
Bucky looks down to see you lying on his metal arm, still hugging the cushion as your breathing deeply, lost in a heavy sleep. “Oh, Y/n.” He chuckles quietly as he lifts his arm up and wraps it around you, holding you close as the film carries on.
Yet, Steve tears his eyes from the screen to observe the rare sight. Bucky allowing himself to fully unwind and enjoy the moment he’s in.
“Quit staring, Steve.” Bucky speaks up, snapping Steve out of it and reverts his attention to the film whilst Bucky smiles to himself, running his fingers along your arm soothingly before he tugs on the blanket draped over your feet, bringing it further up to stop you shivering. “There you go, doll.” He whispers as you curl up closer into Bucky’s embrace.
*
Natasha stands behind you as she helps secure your dress. “We good?” You ask, turning your head as Natasha steps back and smiles to Wanda.
“Oh we’re more than good,” Wanda comments, crossing her arms as she looks you up and down whilst Natasha holds back her wolf whistle. “Bucky Barnes won’t know what’s hit him when he sees you in there.”
Rolling your eyes, you walk over toward you mirror, catching sight of the black silk dress, hugging you in all the right places. “Who knows.” You mutter, not wanting to get your hopes up too high.
“Only one way to find out.” Natasha reminds you as she walks over to your door, opening it. “Come on girls,” She holds her hand out as Wanda takes yours before grabbing Natasha’s. “we’ve got a party to get to.”
As you near the open living space the sound of music intensifies. Wanda squeezes your hand as you pause for a second, feeling your nerves starting to get the better of you.
“We’re all here, Y/n. It’s okay.” Wanda reminds you as the three of you reach the doors to the party.
“Now or never, huh?” You chuckle as you push the door open and glance around at the transformation Pepper has been able to pull off with less than a weeks notice. “Wow.” You breathe out, oblivious to the blue eyes watching you from the bar, having had the same reaction.
Besides Wanda and Natasha, you walk down the stairs and head straight towards the bar.
“What can I get for you ladies?” The bartender asks as your eyes wander across the various drinks available.
“Three beers, please.” Natasha asks as the bartender places the three bottles in front of you.
“Add it to my tab, thanks.” Bucky comments as he moves closer, standing beside you as he nurses his own bottle. “Ladies,” He smiles to the three of you. “may I say you’re all looking beautiful this evening.”
You smile shyly, lowering your head at his comment. “I’m loving the suit, Barnes. Black really is your colour.” Natasha raises her beer to him.
“Looks like you two coordinated this.” Sam pipes in from behind Bucky. “Y/n,” Sam steps away from Bucky as he takes a hold of your hands and whistles. “damn girl, you gotta dress up more often.”
Laughing happily, you roll your eyes in response. “Oh Sam, always know how to charm a girl, huh?” You pick up your beer, taking a sip as you glance over to Bucky, just as a new song begins to play through the speakers.
“Come on, Y/n, wanna dance?” Sam asks you, raising a brow.
“Not this one Sam,” You tell him as you pat his shoulder. “but, I think there’s someone over there who might.” Turning him around, you push him in the direction of Natasha before reverting your attention to your beer.
“Saving yourself for someone, doll?” Bucky questions, swigging the last of his beer as he looks out at everyone dancing to the upbeat song. “I still don’t get it, what happened to just dancing?”
“This is dancing, Bucky.” You remind him. “Things change over the years, but your style of dancing still exists, don’t you worry.”
“Y/n!” Wanda calls for you from the dance floor as her shoes now absent. “Come on over!” She waves her hand repeatedly.
“Doesn’t look like you’ve got much choice, Y/n.” Bucky chuckles as you push yourself away from the bar.
Yet, you pause and turn back to Bucky with a mischievous smile. “Yeah, neither do you.” You tell him, taking a hold of his hand and drag him with you, not taking no for an answer.
It takes a few seconds for Bucky to loosen up, and he tries to blend in as you dance freely with the others.
“Loosen up, Buck!” You shout over the music. “You dance like my dead grandpa.” You laugh, and Bucky grumbles to himself as he tries to copy Sams moves.
“Barnes has moves?!” Wanda shouts as the three of you dance (or attempt to in Bucky’s case.)
Just as Bucky gets the hang of it, the song fades out into a slow song, one you don’t recognise. “I know this song.” Bucky states as his eyes wander to Steve who is perched at the bar with Natasha who nods to him.
“Wanna dance, Bucky?” You ask, holding your hand out.
“Of course.” He answers, taking your hand as he twirls you into his embrace before resting his metal hand on your waist as you sway together.
“So, this is what you had in mind when you said dancing then?” You ask as Bucky smiles to you, perfectly content. “I see why you like it so much, everything just melts away.”
Bucky hums as he holds your hand up, allowing you to twirl along to the song before bringing you closer once more. “A world without worries for four minutes.” Bucky mutters.
“God, I think I might just love you, Bucky.” You mumble under your breath as you close your eyes for a moment, unaware that Bucky heard every word that just left your lips.
His grip on your waist loosens as his fingers slip out from yours. “Y/n,” Bucky starts, looking down as you open your eyes and stare up at him with blind panic.
“Shit, Bucky, I, I’m sorry, just ignore me.” You ramble, hoping he’d just forget it, but Bucky steps closer.
“Y/n, I’m sorry,” He sighs, lifting his hand to your face as he brushes your hair out from your eyes. “I, I can’t.” The words leave his lips and all you can do is nod. “I care about you, Y/n, you know that. But I can’t.” He repeats the words, chipping away at your heart.
“It’s okay, Bucky.” You mutter. “I, I’ve got to go.” You excuse yourself, turning away and walk quickly past the bar, ignoring Natasha calling your name.
Steve rises to his feet, staring at Bucky stood alone on the dance floor as you close the doors at the top of the stairs behind you, hoping no one can hear you cry as you rush to your room.
“What the hell was that?!” Natasha tries to reframe from shouting as Bucky walks towards her and Steve, hanging his head in shame.
“Y/n said she loves me.” Bucky states, looking up at the pair who act like it’s nothing new. “You, you knew?”
Natasha scoffs as she glances up at Steve. “Of course we knew, Barnes. What did you say to her?”
Bucky sighs as disappointment lines Steve’s expression. “I, I told her I can’t ever love her like that.” Bucky tells the pair, hearing Steve sigh heavily before Natasha slaps Bucky across the face.
Holding his cheek, Bucky knows he deserves it as Natasha stares at him with pure rage. “How dare you, Bucky.” Natasha seethes as she walks off, heading in search of you.
“Damn,” Bucky mutters as his cheek burns and picks up the beer bottle, rolling it along his cheekbone. “I deserved that.”
“How could you, Bucky?” Steve asks.
“I’ll only end up hurting her, Steve.” Bucky explains. “I can’t put her through that.”
“And you think she isn’t hurt now?” Steve retorts coldly. “God, Buck, I really thought you loved her.” Steve sighs as he walks away from his oldest friend, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Lowering the beer, Bucky takes a seat at the bar with his back to everyone else. “I do,” Bucky mutters to himself. “and that’s what hurts the most.”
*
It had been almost a month and Bucky hadn’t seen you since the night of the party. He had tried to run into you after you locked your floor from him accessing it with FRIDAY’s help. All he wanted to do was apologise first and foremost, and if you’d let him, have the chance to explain himself.
With a heavy heart, Bucky walks into the kitchen to see Steve stood over the counter, reading the newspaper. “Hey, Steve,” Bucky calls out.
“Buck.” Steve answers as his eyes remain trained on the paper as he turns the page.
“Fancy going for a run this afternoon?” Bucky asks as he pours himself a mug of coffee, walking around the counter to the other side to face his friend. “Meant to be good weather, least that’s what FRIDAY said.”
“I said I’d help Y/n train.” Steve responds, now looking up as Bucky tenses upon hearing your name. “Maybe tomorrow.”
Turning around, Bucky places his mug down, resting his hands on the counter. “How, how is she?” He asks. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah,” Steve comments. “she’s strong, Bucky but you’ve got to give her time, that’s all.” Steve explains as he walks around the counter, heading toward the floor to ceiling windows that overlook the compound grounds.
“I just miss her.” Bucky admits, walking to stand beside Steve as he notices two figures emerging below and the faint sound of laughter echoing.
“She misses you too, Bucky.” Steve states as he smiles softly to Bucky.
Focusing on the two figures, Bucky looks closer seeing it’s you. He exhales shakily at the sight of you, a bright smile on your face as you walk alongside someone he can’t quite place.
“Who-”
“Peter.” Steve answers before Bucky can even finish his question. “Or Spiderman if that’s any easier.” Steve shrugs, watching you playfully shove Peter as you laugh happily with him.
“She looks happy.” Bucky mutters as Peter wraps his arm around your shoulder and you rest your arm around his waist. “That’s good.” He lies to himself as he steps away.
“Bucky,” Steve trails off as Bucky walks away from the window, heading back to the lift with a heavy heart at the sight of you happy with someone else, someone he’ll never be except in his daydreams.
t a g l i s t (thank you for the support!) link in my bio and at the top of this piece to add yourself☺️(if your user isn’t tagged, it’s because nothing comes up sorry!)
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in which harry is the right person at the wrong time. 
a/n: hi lovelies! here is my christmas fic for @goldenbluesuit​ ‘s xmas challenge! i chose the song ‘baby, it’s cold outside’ and it’s my FAVORITE xmas song, so i’ve included bits and pieces of the song throughout the story! hope you all like it, and happy holidays! pls rb and send feedback bc they’re very helpful :) 
WORD COUNT: 9.6k of ex lovers to lovers, teacher!harry x lawstudent!yn filled with slight angst, missing someone dearly, and fluff
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumption 
COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE’ i’d love to know your thoughts! 
pls rb to share! <3
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17 December 2020
A chilly and snowy night was upon you as you took a shot of hard liquor. The face of disgust appeared on your face as the liquid slowly went down your throat after you hammered the shot of tequila. 
Normally, you wouldn’t pregame when you were going to your friend, Addie’s, house where you would drink some more, but you needed to shake off your nerves that you felt at the moment. You took a deep breath after taking your second shot and you had physically felt yourself starting to relax. 
Rolling your head to stretch your neck out, you decided it was time to leave since it was nearing seven in the evening. You called yourself an Uber because of the alcohol in your system and you were planning to sleep over Addie’s place since she said she would bring you back in the morning before you had to go to work. 
You waited for your Uber by the front door while you looked in the mirror, putting your black beanie onto your head. You were bundled up in a black university sweater, a camel color coat over, along with tan lounge pants and a pair of black boots. Once you got a notification that your Uber driver, Jason, was in front of your house, you grabbed your overnight bag and headed out the door. 
You placed the hood of your sweater over your beanie so you got more warmth since it was quite cold. You were never one for the cold weather, which is unfortunate since you lived in London. You cherished the days where it was sunny and warm; the sun bright and warm as you laid on the grass in complete content. 
You missed those days. You missed the days where you didn’t worry about a singular thing. 
Looking out the window, on your way to your destination, you watched the snow slightly fall, hitting and building up on the ground while the pedestrians walked through the streets, bundled up in thick layers of clothing. Some people were with others, walking hand in hand or hugging each other through the cold. Even though it was freezing cold outside, there were smiles on their faces because the hold of one another was enough. They could get through the worst snowfall, but if they were in each other’s arms, it wouldn't matter; they could get through anything. 
The cold had reminded you that you were missing a pair of strong arms that should’ve been around you through this season, but you were completely frozen—left out in the cold to warm yourself up. 
You sighed and the car stopped in front of Addie’s place. You thanked your driver, wishing him a ‘Happy Holidays’ before you got out and buzzed your best friend’s apartment onto the buzzer system; hearing one back, you entered the complex while brushing your shoes onto the floor mat, so you wouldn’t slip while going up the stairs. 
You were grateful the building was warm, and you’re sure Addie would crank up the heat for you since you would always complain how ‘bloody cold’ it is all the time. 
Once you opened the door, you were met with your entire friend group who were all lounging around in the living area. They all faced the door once you walked in, seeing who the last friend to arrive. Greetings were sent towards you, Addie and Nic got up from their spots on the couch that they’re going to lose because behind them, Elijah and Niall were getting up from their spots on the floor to steal it. 
“Hey! There you are! We were all waiting for you,” Addie said, giving you a hug. 
Nic went in for a hug before she pulled back and looked at you suspiciously. You looked at her confusingly, wondering why she was looking at you the way she was before she said, “Did you party before you came here?” You furrowed your brows until you remembered that she probably smelt the alcohol that you took before you left. 
“Oh, uh, just took a couple of shots before I came here.” The two girls understood quite well, thankfully. 
“No worries! Come join,” Addie welcomed you in. The two went back to the living area, only to see that their spots were taken, so they grabbed the two boys’ arms, yanking them out of their seats. You chuckled as you walked to Addie’s room to put all of your belongings. 
Once you did that, you exited her room the same time the bathroom door opened across her room. The person in front of you was the reason why you were so anxious before you left; why you needed to relax for a bit and mentally prepare yourself before going to Addie’s place. 
The person in front of you was Harry Styles. 
The person who had your heart. 
The person you were deeply in love with still. 
The person who was your ex boyfriend. 
“Hi,” he said surprisingly, smiling a bit. 
“Hi, Harry,” you replied, inching towards him as he met you halfway. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you did the same around his waist, resting your cheek onto his chest. The hug was warm and comforting, like it always was, and you looked forward to these kinds of hugs every time you saw him. But your heart ached every single time. 
Pulling away, you gave him a small smile before you two walked out of the hallway and to where your friends were. There was laughter between the two girls and guys as Niall was telling them a joke. Nic was the one who saw you and Harry first, and her laughter died down. She looked at you concerningly, giving you those eyes as if they were asking if you were okay, and you nodded your head to reassure her. You and Harry join the group; you sat on the loveseat on one side of the rectangle wooden table, while Harry sat on the floor on the other side. 
You tried joining in on the conversation and laughter, but you couldn’t help but take sneaky glances back to Harry, only to find him getting glances at you as well. 
It was hard to focus on anything your friends were saying when Harry was in the same room, but you realized it was also difficult when he wasn’t in the same room because then you were wondering where he was. 
It wasn’t easy being friends with Harry after the breakup, good friends, especially; and it pained you to actually act normal around him when all you wanted to do was scream, cry, and have him comfort you. But you did your very best to maintain a cool, calm, and collected mood whenever you’re around him, although inside, your heart was racing and everything you said seemed incoherent. 
You tried your best to avoid him after you two split, and he did as well, but being part of the same friend group just didn’t go well with your wishes. You two had to suck it up and be normal around each other.
Being with Harry was possibly the best eight months of your life. To some, it’s not the longest amount of time, but he was one of a kind; you couldn’t find anyone out there like him--not like you were looking anyways. It genuinely felt like you’ve been together for years, and when you two were celebrating your six month anniversary, your friends had questioned you saying ‘It’s only been six months?!’
Your relationship with Harry was all things blissful. It was pure happiness and love, and you wouldn’t want it with anyone else. You two rarely got into fights, and if you did, it was most likely a petty and annoyed argument that would have you two back in each other’s arms only twenty minutes after. He was your fresh breath of air that made you laugh and orgasm…multiple times. 
It was all smiles and laughs until it wasn’t. 
You two had gotten together the second semester of senior year. Meeting at the library because you couldn’t reach a book, it didn’t take long for you both to get together. You had known him for two weeks until he asked you out on a date where he kissed you for the first time. The dates and kisses continued on for six months until you mutually decided to call it quits. 
It wasn’t an easy decision, but considering that Harry was going to a different school that was in a different country for his master’s degree in education for the fall semester, and you were also in the midst of your career; interning at a law firm didn’t quite clear up your schedule, only making you busier by the hour. There was barely any time for the two of you to spend time with each other with how busy and hectic your lives were, so there would most likely be no calls coming in or distant texts that were sent out to make it seem like the void had disappeared. 
Like two mature adults, you and Harry called it quits after the summer. He moved away to get his master’s and you kept yourself busy at the law firm. It wasn’t easy--still isn’t easy, but it was for the best. The both of you needed to focus on your careers and yourself before you two were ready enough to get back together. That’s if Harry wanted to get back together anyways. 
Of course you wanted to get back together with him, but you didn’t know where he stood on that, or if he was even seeing someone. Throughout the two years that he was away, you only saw him during summer and winter breaks, so he could possibly be seeing someone whenever he goes back to school. But now that he had moved back again, your mind was spiraling because now you got to see him more. 
Finally, you broke out of your trance, once again thinking about Harry, you saw him looking at you. The both of you completely tuned out to the conversation and laughter coming from your friends. You held your wine glass up, Harry doing the same while smirking before you both sipped your drinks, hoping the sweet wine would relax your bodies. 
Nic was picking out a small paper out of the Santa hat Addie was holding. She took a quick peek at it before, smirking to herself before Addie moved over to you for your turn. As you chose your Secret Santa, you hoped it was a good one. It’s not like you didn’t love your friends, some of them were picky, and by some, you mean Nic. 
You looked at the piece of paper, smiling before shoving it into your pocket. Addie moved onto Harry who was the last one to choose, and you watched him as he looked at the paper like it was a poker hand. He raised his brows, smirking before he looked up and started to fold the paper. Your eyes looked down at his polished hands, noticing that he still wears the same rings as he did when you first met him. Your favorites were his initial, thinking how incredibly sexy and alluring they looked on him as he walked around confidently. You’ve stolen them multiple times as well, even if they were too big on you, but the thought of walking around with Harry’s name on you just seemed so enticing. 
Niall’s laughter brought you out of your sensual thoughts about Harry’s hands and you realized you were caught staring, and Harry knew exactly what you were looking at with the amount of times he’s caught you staring and fantasizing about his hands. Plus, you openly told him that you had a thing for his hands. 
A smug smile was seen from Harry, so you took your attention away from him and towards your friends. 
“So, what do we say? $50 limit?” Nic suggested, and Elijah rolled his eyes.
“Why are you trying to make me broke? You know I have a huge family, like, 15 cousins!” Elijah debates. 
Nic gasped dramatically. “I’m offended you don’t consider us family, Eli!” Elijah playfully rolls his eyes again, turning his head to the side as he smiled into his shoulder, blushing a bit. 
You chuckled at their playful banter. You’re a bit surprised they hadn’t gotten together yet because ever since you met them, you could practically feel the tension between them. They were just too stubborn to admit that they liked each other. 
“Okay, how about we make it maximum $30?” Harry pitched in. Your eyes had immediately averted to him, and it was like he captured you just by the sound of his voice. “We have exactly six days to get our gifts,” he added. Your friend group has always been one for procrastinating. Everyone is so busy these days that it gets harder to plan hangouts where the entire group could go, but you were all family, so if the gatherings were at three in the morning, everyone would be there. 
The group agreed, telling him that was a solid number. You caught Harry’s eye and he softly smiled at you. Giving him one back, you suddenly felt nervous as he smiled, so you chugged the rest of your wine and walked to the kitchen to open a new bottle to bring to the living area.
The bottle made a loud pop sound, which earned an in sync ‘Woo!’ from the group as it was a tradition you all created whenever a new bottle of wine was being opened. Smiling to yourself, you poured yourself a glass before downing it. As you were doing so, Harry walked into the kitchen with his own glass in his hand. 
“Hogging all the wine, aren’t you, Y/N?” He teased to clear the awkward and anxious tension between you two, and luckily, you stifled out a giggle. 
“You know me and my wine.” You refilled his empty glass while taking a sip of yours. Once you fill it halfway, he clinked your glasses together before taking a sip. His lips meeting the sweet but bitter taste of red wine that you so wished was your lips. The way he curled his lips into his mouth and licking his lips, tasting the flavor had you daydreaming such sultry things about his lips. 
You cleared your throat, breaking yourself out of your gaze. “How are you, H? How’s work?” 
Harry’s cheeks warmed up at the simple nickname. “I’m doing good, yeah. Work is good. The school is great.” This was Harry’s first semester teaching, and he absolutely loved it. He loved being in the classroom setting, interacting and making sure his students understood the material. He wanted to teach elementary kids, but that would require knowing various subjects when he wanted to focus more on ninth grade English. 
“I’m happy for you,” you confessed. You were happy for him, but you wanted to be happy with him. “I know you’re a great teacher, and your students must love you.” You bumped him with your hip gently. 
“They’re great. A couple of them have this weird crush on me for some reason.” 
“I mean how could they not.” You realized you said that out loud, and you’re fully blaming the alcohol and the few glasses of wine that you already had, leaving you with a rosy cheek tint glow. Harry didn’t say anything but smug as he continued to sip on his drink. You slipped past him to join your friends, and Harry followed. Addie gave you a knowing look, hoping to communicate with just her eyes as she saw you and Harry walk out of the kitchen together, and you simply nodded, gesturing that you were okay. 
The rest of the night went by quite fun as the boys helped Addie hang up the rest of her decorations while scoffing and rolling her eyes because they weren’t cooperating. You and Nic were sitting on the floor watching and laughed, pouring yourselves more glasses of wine. Your heart skipped a few beats as you watched Harry the entire time, laughing and smiling, and sometimes looking over at you just to get a simple glance at your face to suffice his heart from the heartache of not being able to hold or kiss you. 
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You’ve always liked shopping alone. Shopping with Nic and Addie could be stressful, no matter how much you loved them. You would only go to the shoppes with them if you weren’t looking for anything to buy, but since you were Christmas shopping and the stores were getting busier counting down to Christmas day, you had passed on their invitation to shop with them. There was nobody bugging or nagging you, causing you to get distracted; just you, a basketful of snacks, and Christmas music playing through your headphones. 
You couldn’t wait to give your Secret Santa gift because you’ve put a lot of thought into it ever since you found out who your receiver was. You’ve been doing Secret Santa with your friends since the third year of college. At first, your friends group was only you, Nic, Addie, and Niall—you’ve known Niall since you were sixteen, and you met the girls your first year of uni—until Nic met Elijah during the second semester of junior year, who was quickly accepted, and then you met Harry. 
You’ve all become a close knit of friends, and each and every single one of you have met other people, but there was nothing like this group. With bonding and connecting so well, all you needed was each other, and you couldn’t be more grateful. 
As you were looking at the collection of whiskey, you felt a body brush passed you, slightly bumping into you as they tried getting through the narrow aisle. You jolted forward a tad bit, making you take a step forward to let the person behind you pass through. 
“So sorry,” the familiar voice said. The music playing through your headphones was not even halfway up since you still wanted to be aware of your surroundings, but you could recognize that voice anywhere. 
Turning around to look at the person behind you, sure enough, it was the one and only. 
“Harry?” You called out, taking out your headphones. He turned around, and once he saw you, he immediately smiled. 
“H-Hi. I didn’t expect to see you,” he nervously blurted out a false statement. He knew that this was your go to store and you would always drag him there because they always had your favorite snacks in stock. 
You chuckled. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to see you here either.” Unlike his statement, yours was true. When you were with him, he would always ask you why you couldn’t stop at any of the other shops because this one was on the other side of where you lived. But you simply told him that it was because you would feel like you would be cheating on this store with the others because this was your go-to place, and the employees here were just lovely. 
“Shopping for yourself?” Harry asked. 
You looked down at your basket. “Oh, no. For my Secret Santa. What about you? What are you doing here?” 
“I, uh, I was on this side of town and,” he turned around to face the wine section before grabbing a bottle of Pinot Noir. “Just needed to get this,” he said as he held it up. 
“Night in?” 
“Hmm, yeah,” he nodded. 
“With…someone, or?” You tried your best to not show your anxiousness when you asked him if he was having a night in with someone that’s not you. 
Harry’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, no. Not with anyone…” Your shoulders relaxed and a small smile appeared on your face. You slightly nodded your head, containing your relief. “You look great!” He complimented. You were wearing your work attire; a black pencil skirt with a white silk, semi turtleneck long sleeve, and a black coat thrown over. You were also in nude heels, which weren’t the best to shop in, but you had forgotten to bring a change of shoes. 
You blushed. “Thank you. I came here straight from work.” Harry’s brows raised. You were always one for a sense of style, so he wasn’t surprised that you would look this good going to work. 
“Really? How is work going, by the way?” 
“Good, actually. I’m still interning at the law firm, so I’m pretty busy. But overall it’s great! A lot of research, mock cases, and sometimes the interns get to sit and watch in the courtroom. It’s pretty thrilling,” you said excitedly. Harry smiled, missing how you would explain things so eagerly. “This is my last year interning, so hopefully I could work at the law firm I’m already interning at, and become a permanent lawyer there.” 
“I’m sure they’d love to have you there. You’re great, really. They’d be stupid to let you go…” he trailed off. There was a double meaning to his words, and you were wondering if Harry thought he was dumb enough to let you go. Not wanting to dwell on his words any longer, you murmured a soft ‘Thanks’ to him and smiled. Harry nodded, mentally beating himself up over his words and how he was really the stupid one to let you go. 
“I, uh, should go, or my sister will be suspicious,” you chuckled. “I hope you have a great night, Harry.” You grabbed a bottle of whiskey before walking passed him. You weren’t even done shopping, but you couldn’t be in the same room as him without thinking of the memories that had always lingered, making you nostalgic and sad because you don’t know if you would be able to make more memories with him. 
Harry was left alone in the aisle as he watched you walk over to the register to pay for your items. Just when you were done, you looked up, giving him a soft smile and waving at him before you turned around and walked out of the store. Harry’s heart fluttered, but at the same time, it was pounding through his chest. He mentally cursed himself for being so nervous around you, making an awkward tension fill the air. He couldn’t tell you what you were really doing at your store--no, he couldn’t. 
Because what would you say if he told you that he’s been going to your store ever since you two broke up and whenever he’s in town just because it reminded him of you. The four walls somewhat mended his broken heart as he felt comfort inside of the shop because some of his best memories of you are in this very store. And since he couldn’t step into your apartment to immediately feel at home, your favorite store would have to do…for now. 
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Right when you entered Addie’s home, you were met with the loud music of the holiday season, along with Addie, Nic, and Elijah singing the lyrics to one another as they jumped and danced with a glass of their preferred alcohol in their hand. 
They hadn’t heard the door open since the music was quite loud, so you took the opportunity to take a quick video of them as you smiled at your lovely friends, who felt so careless at the moment. Once the song ended, you put your phone away, and Eli was the one who spotted you first. 
“Ah, there she is!” He walked over to you, giving you a big hug. You giggled as he slightly picked you up from the ground and twirling you. You were sure that he was already buzzed, and you were wondering how many glasses he’s had already, or if he pregamed by himself to calm himself down for talking to Nic, just like you had done to prepare you for a night with Harry, which you hadn’t done tonight. 
There was a part of you that wanted to take a shot or two to ease your nerves, but you realized that you needed to stop doing that because as far as you know, you and Harry are most likely going to be friends for a long time. So, drinking almost every week did not sound fun to you. 
Nic poured you a glass of wine, clinking your glasses together as you took your first sip of alcohol that night. You helped Addie set up the food onto the table along with some Christmas designed plates and utensils. Just as you were counting the utensils, you heard a loud Santa laugh coming from Niall, making everyone turn their heads towards the door. Niall walked in, carrying a bag-full of presents and Harry followed with a three foil wrapped aluminum trays in his hands as he chuckled at Niall’s way of making himself known. Your face immediately heated up at the sight of your ex-boyfriend because he looked good. 
Although you loved every version of Harry, there was something about Harry Styles in the snowy winter that made your knees weak. He was bundled up in a sweater with a coat tossed over, and he wore boots. His hair was slightly messy from the wind as he shook off the snow that had fallen onto his locks. His nose was always red too, and when he would press a kiss to your cheek, you would feel the icy cold tip of his nose, contrasting to your warm cheeks. And it’s a tragedy that you’ve never spent a winter season with him when you were together, only two Christmases after the breakup. 
Winter Harry was your favorite, and all you wanted to do was snuggle up with him. 
Niall and Harry made their rounds to greet everyone, and Harry would always make sure you were the last one he greeted, just so he could hold and hug you a little longer. 
“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” you said once he got to you. He smiled and chuckled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You laid your head against his chest, taking in his scent and natural warmth, even though he just came from the cold. “What’d you bring?” You asked once you pulled away. 
“I brought the cheesy garlic bread, brussel sprouts, and crab cakes,” he smiled. 
You gasped. “Your specialty. My mouth is already watering.”’ You clapped your hands in excitement. 
Harry giggled, leaning against the kitchen countertop. “Sure is, and it’s some of your favorite dishes of mine too,” he remembered. You blushed, heart fluttering as he didn’t forget your favorite foods. 
Harry was always a chef of his own; he loved cooking. Learning from Anne, he made it his mission to make his own homemade food after he moved out, and she would always tell him that you could always show your love through food. From there, he learned more about cooking and seemed to love everything about it. Whenever the group has gatherings for special occasions and everyone agrees for a potluck, Harry always made sure to talk to everyone and see what they wanted him to cook. 
When you two were together, he did the majority of the cooking. There would be times when you wanted to help, but he would simply tell you that you needed to let him do it and relax. That was something you loved about him—he was always a giver and didn’t expect to receive anything back, in more than one way. 
You and Harry were definitely ones for staying in, and he would always whip up the best food that was filled with so much love and flavor. 
“Once you two are done loving over there, we’d like some help over here!” Niall called out from the dining area. Your eyes widened as Harry’s cheeks turned pink. Harry held his arm out, gesturing you to go first, and you walked out of the kitchen as he followed behind you.
The group’s attention and eyes were on you and Harry, and your brows furrowed as you mouthed a ‘What?’ at them, and they instantly went back to setting up the food as if nothing happened. You turned around to look at Harry confusingly and he shrugged his shoulders, just as confused. 
The music was playing, the decorations were lit up, and the food was settling into everyone’s stomach, followed by drinks as a warm feeling laid over everyone. It was overall a great time with them as it always was, and since Christmas was coming up in just two days, the merry feeling was always everyone’s moods. 
As everyone was laughing and having a great time, Addie had gotten a knock from her neighbor, asking if everyone could keep the volume down. Everyone was holding in their laugh because you all hadn’t realized how loud you’ve gotten. 
“I’m pretty sure they knew it was going to be a long night when it was just the three of them dancing and screaming,” you pointed out to Addie, Nic, and Elijah, and they all laughed, agreeing. 
“Wait, what?” Niall asked confusingly. 
“Right when I walked in, they were screaming at the top of their lungs. Wait, I have a video.” You pulled your phone out of the front pocket of your sweater and showed Niall the twenty second video. 
He cackled. “Hey, thanks for waiting for us,” he teased, giving your phone back to you. 
You leaned back onto Harry’s leg, since you were sitting on the floor and he was sitting on the chair behind you, and you looked up at him to show him the video. He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his thighs as you shifted closer to him so you were sitting in between his legs. Harry’s lips curled into his mouth, and he was grateful that you weren’t facing him because he was flustered. You pressed play, and he watched as he chuckled, watching his friends have a good time.
“Wait, I also wanted to show you this video,” you mentioned once the video was over. You scrolled through your pictures, and Harry was watching you go through your camera roll. He saw pictures of buildings, food, you and the girls, and some of them were just of you. Before he could really think about your own pictures, you found the video of your family dog and showed Harry. 
As you and Harry were watching the video, your four other friends were eyeing you two and whispering things to each other suspiciously. Nic took a few pictures of the moment because the sight was just so cute, but everyone was wondering when you two were getting back together. 
And you were wondering the same. 
For a few minutes, you and Harry were in your own little world as you two talked about your family; never making the effort to change the position you were in--you had just turned your body so you could see him better. You’ve missed times like these where everything else, outside of the bubble you two created, didn’t seem to matter. The way his eyes gleamed when he talked to you had lulled you in, making you depart from every thought you were trying to create while the only thought that dawdled was Harry. 
“Alright, let’s pass out our Secret Santa gifts before we’re all too drunk,” Niall suggested, popping yours and Harry’s bubble. You moved out of between Harry’s legs to sit beside him where you were before. You looked up at him, softly smiling and he gave you one back. His eyes looked like they wanted to say something, and you so badly wanted to crawl into his mind to know what he was thinking. 
Everyone agreed, getting up to grab their gifts. Addie also grabbed the Santa hat that you had to wear if it was your turn to pass out your gift. The Santa hat had been through four Christamases with the group, and it was the little things that made you happy.
Addie decides to go first since she was the host. She put the Santa hat on before she started. “First one! My Secret Santa is…Elijah!” She walked over to him, giving him her gift as he smiled, thanking her. He opened her gift and gasped as it was a new headset for his PlayStation since he was always talking about how one side was completely dead. Addie placed the hat onto his head as he grabbed his gift. 
“So, this one is for…” he smiled before walking over to the other end of the couch. “Nic.” Her eyes widened, taking the gift from his hands, and he took a seat next to her on the floor. She ripped open the wrapping paper before she paused, looking back at him. It was a large rectangle frame of pictures of her and Eli with a note in the middle saying ‘4 years as best friends, countless laughs, and one question unasked. Will you go on a date with me?’ Nic squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was like he was proposing to her because she screamed out a loud yes. “Life is too damn short. I can’t wait to go another day without calling you my girl, so I wanted to take my chances,” he told her. You smiled at them, realizing it’s been too long, and you were so happy for them. 
It was Nic’s turn, which she completely forgot about because she was so overjoyed, and she walked up to Harry to give him her gift. He thanked her before opening it, receiving a set of nail polish, a few face masks, a vanilla candle, and a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants. 
Harry was up, and he was a bit nervous for this one. You knew that it could either be you, Niall, or Addie since you were the three left without gifts. He stood in front of the fireplace as everyone looked at him. You thought he looked absolutely adorable in that Santa hat, which you think every single year. He slowly walked over to Niall, making him beam, but turned around and walked over to you, earning a ‘Hey!’ from Niall. 
“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” Harry greeted you, handing you your gift. You smiled brightly, grabbing the box. It was a quite heavy box with brown wrapping paper with reindeers on it and a large red bow. “I wrapped it myself,” he smirked, playfully flipping his shirt hair, and you giggled. 
You ripped the paper and opened the box, eyes softening. In the box, there was a graphic tee, your —and his—favorite fresh perfume by Jo Malone, five pens with your first and last name engraved in the middle, a Cravings cookbook from Chrissy Teigen and a yellow and white vertical striped apron with the words ‘Summer Lovin’ with a sun embroidered at the top. Your eyes watered at the words at the special but emotional meaning behind it. 
Two months before you and Harry broke up, you knew it was the end. You both agreed that you would spend two months together before you had to part ways with one another. It was the most special and fun summer you ever had, but emotionally, it was the worst. Knowing that you weren’t going to be together anymore by the end of it was behind the facade of the endless laughter and love. You really didn’t want it to be over, but you understood and needed to grow separately and blossom with your careers. 
The words behind the embroidered apron was from one summer night. You and Harry had a bonfire at the beach, and you were cuddled up with him as he held a blanket around the both of you. You had tequila disguised like water as you held your bottle up to the best summer loving. You wished the circumstances were different, but if it’s meant to be, then he’ll come back to you. 
“You’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and I’ve seen that you’re starting to on your Instagram stories, so I thought these were the perfect things to get you so you could be a proper chef now,” he said with a soft smile. 
Harry truly paid attention to the small details of your life. Together or not, he intently listened and observed without anyone knowing. He nailed it down to the small details; from the perfume, the pens, and the apron. The sentiment behind it was what made the gift so special, and the person who gifted it to you completed and made it so much better. 
As your vision had gone glassy, you sat on your knees, reaching up at Harry for a hug. He bent down to your eye level, sitting on his knees as well as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You held him tightly, sniffling into his shoulder as a rush of overwhelming emotions hit you. Your heart fluttered and pounded at the same time—a feeling that was familiar to your body when it came to Harry. 
“Thank you so much. This is the most thoughtful gift ever,” you said into his shoulder. This gift was number two on the list of gifts you’ve received from him, following Harry himself as your number one, of course. 
Harry pulled his head back slightly to press a kiss to the side of your head. The gesture had made your heart swoon and you smiled against his shoulder. Everyone was watching you two interact, and they all thought this was finally the moment where you two would get back together again. They’ve all seen you two suffer enough being without each other, along with the heavy tension that there was. All they wanted was for you both to be happy. 
You pulled away from him, looking up at his green eyes as they stared into you. He offered you a small smile that took your breath away before he wrapped one arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his side as he wasn’t quite done holding you. 
After a few minutes, your friends had let you have your moment before Niall complained how he didn’t have a gift yet. You and Harry chuckled, letting go of one another, and he placed the Santa hat onto your head before you slowly started walking over to Niall. When you handed him his gift, he cheered happily before opening it. You had given him several customized guitar pics with his initials printed onto them, a leather notebook since he liked to write songs, and Proper 12 Irish Whiskey, which was fitting because he’s Irish and he likes Connor McGregor. He thanked you with a big hug, picking you up off the ground with one arm as he held the alcohol bottle in the other. 
Addie was the last one who hadn’t received a gift, and Niall was her Secret Santa. He gave her a bunch of makeup with your help, and a tupperware set, which she had been asking for since everyone always took her containers because she liked hosting so many parties. 
The rest of the night had gone on for a few more hours before everyone was pretty tired, deciding to call it a night. Everyone helped clean up, making sure to help Addie with the dishes and putting or throwing stuff away. Although you were cleaning, you loved your entire group. This was your family--the closest people to you. The ones who know everything about you and would laugh at you when you fall before falling with you. You were entirely grateful for everyone in this room, and you couldn’t have asked for a better group to spend more holidays and days with. 
After the cleaning was done, Niall and Eli started to head out, not before Eli was satisfied with the amount of goodbyes he gave Nic with how long the hug was. Niall had to physically pull him off, telling him the Uber was outside. 
You were washing your hands before Harry walked over next to you, handing you a towel to dry off your hands. “Thank you,” you muttered, shyly smiling. 
“Uh, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over?” He proposed. Your brows raised at his question. You and the girls had planned on having a sleepover after, but the prospect of going home with Harry had sounded much better (no offense to your friends). 
“I was planning to sleepover here…” you decided to innocently tease, even though you knew you were going to say yes. 
“I already asked them, and they said I could take you. I could drop you back off here if you want. So, the answer is up to you,” he smirked. A blush appeared onto your cheeks, admiring the fact that he asked your friends for permission if he could take you home. 
“There’s bound to be talk tomorrow,” you teased, lightly nudging him.
“I’ll take my chances,” he smiled, a hopeful look presented on his face. 
You breathed out a chuckle, looking at him for a moment before you nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” Harry’s eyes widened as the corners of his lips turned up. You grabbed your phone and your coat before walking over to Addie and Nic who were both cuddled up on the couch, saying goodbye to them. They sent you a playful wink, and you rolled your eyes as nerves startled to settle in your stomach. 
You followed Harry out of the door, the cold air brisking past you as you walked to his car. He opened the passenger and you thanked him before getting in. Harry started the car and the song that was playing was ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside.’ It was a song you loved ever since you were a little girl, and you remembered the times you and your mom would always sing it in the car. You smiled at the memory, humming as you hoped it would be a way to distract you from the anxious feeling that you have. 
You started humming to the tune as quietly as you possibly could, but Harry heard it as he started to hum it as well. You looked at him through your peripheral vision, noticing that he started to tap his fingers against the steering wheel. 
You were about to start singing until you noticed that he pulled into his driveway, so you contained yourself and closed your coat, getting out of the car as you followed him into his home. You’ve only been inside his home three times--those three times being when he would suggest everyone hang out there. It was a lovely place and whenever you were sitting on his couch, you had wished you shared the space with him. 
Harry lit up the fireplace, placing the metal shield in front of it before turning back towards you and smiling. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to get us some hot chocolate, if that’s alright?” He asked, wanting to know your preferred drink. 
“Sound good.” You hung your coat onto the coat rack before walking over to his turquoise velvet couch and taking a seat, getting comfortable to an extent, not knowing how comfortable you should get. 
Not long after, Harry came back with a wooden tray, and he placed it on the coffee table in front of you. There were two mugs filled with milk, two hot chocolate kits, and spoons. 
“I made these for my students, and I just so happened to have two extra kits, so this will be fun,” he smiled, and you gave him one back appreciatively. You thought that it was cute and sweet of him to give something to his students for the holiday season. Normally, teachers don’t give them anything, but Harry wasn’t just any other teacher. 
A somewhat comfortable silence fell over you two as you both made your own hot chocolate, and you listened to the fireplace roar. Once you two were done, you clicked your glasses together before taking a sip. The warm and comforting drink made you smile and was overall delicious. 
Harry didn’t know what to say or how to say what he really wanted to say. It felt like he had non stop thoughts running through his head, but when he opened his mouth to start, there was a delay. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he wanted to yell at himself for not saying how he really felt. 
“Y/N-” 
“Harry.” 
Just like before, your minds had been in sync, causing you both to speak at the same time. A light laugh came out of both of your mouths. 
“You go first,” you told him. 
Harry took a deep breath. “How’re you doing?” He asked. Out of everything he could have said, that was the only question that came out of his mouth, but he figured it’s a good start to getting somewhere. 
“Truthfully?” He nodded. “I’m doing okay. I’ve managed to distract myself from worrying about the future with work, and so far, it’s been helping.” 
“What are you worried about?” Harry wondered curiously. He could feel his heart pounding through his chest, and if he’s being honest, it’s been that way the first time he saw you…ever. 
“Worried if I’m gonna be where I want to be career wise, and…” you trailed off. 
“And what?” He encouraged you to continue. His stare was so intimidating and deep that the words flew off your tongue, making them unforgettable. “Ba--Y/N?” He called out for you, noticing how he almost slipped up and called you ‘baby,’ and you so wished he hadn’t stopped himself. 
You finally mustered up the courage to speak your thoughts. “I’m afraid that I’m gonna be alone,” you said honestly. 
Harry’s brows furrowed, shaking his head instantly. “You’re not alone, no. You have your family, all of us--your friends, me-” 
“You?” Your brows raised. 
“Yeah-” 
“Harry, you’re the reason why I’m so worried…” you confessed. You were starting to get frustrated--not at Harry, but at yourself because you had planned to have this conversation a different day. You tried to calm yourself down, and Harry could practically see that you were getting angry at yourself. You had a certain stressful and frustrated look that he would notice when you started to beat yourself up over things. And throughout the months of being with you, especially when you were in the midst of law school, he learned how to calm you down. 
Harry placed his hand on your knee; the touch being unexpected to you, but it had brought you immediate comfort. He pulled you into his side and you rested your head on his shoulder, looping your arm under his, the one that’s on your leg, and hugged his arm. Harry’s other hand touched your arm, caressing and soothing you. His actions had felt very natural and familiar to him. He would comfort you like this when you were feeling stressed. Normally, he wanted to cuddle you tightly, but this was your preferred way to calm down because in a way, he was still holding you, and you were still in control and didn’t feel like you were suffocating if he had held you tightly.
You stayed like that for a few moments, and you had calmed down a bit already, but you just wanted to be close to him and cherish the moment. 
After a few minutes, you pulled away and turned towards him, smiling softly. Your heart warmed at the fact that he remembered exactly what to do when you started to feel anxious, and you may have fallen in love with him even more…after all these years. 
“Now, wanna tell me why you’re so worried?” He asked softly, not wanting his tone to be pressuring, and you’re grateful for it.
“I’m worried I’m going to have to live a life without you. It terrifies me to think about you going out and meeting someone, and I would have to watch you get married to someone else that’s not me. That you would be sharing this home with someone that’s not me.” Your eyes start to water, and you had mentally told yourself that you wouldn’t cry, but you didn’t believe yourself in the slightest. “Watching you love someone else is going to be the most difficult thing I would have to do.” 
Your tears had fully fallen down your face, which is unfortunate because you both had such a good day with your friends and it was nearly Christmas. Quickly wiping your tears away, you got up from the couch, and headed towards the door. Harry was confused until he saw you grab your coat, putting it on. In a flash, Harry got up from the couch, walking towards you. 
“W-What are you doing?” He asked. 
“I really can’t stay…” you told him sadly. You had no idea how you were getting home or back to Addie’s since it’s snowing, so you don’t know if there were any Ubers out, especially at this time. “This evening has been…so very nice, Harry.”
“You don’t have to leave. Baby, it’s cold outside, c’mon,” he pleaded with worried eyes. Your heart melted at his words and the name that he used to call you, making you pause in your movement. 
“Please,” he pleaded softly, taking a small step forward, and your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him. There was a dead silence between you two that was tension filled, and you had no clue what was going to happen next until he opened his mouth. 
“Mind if I move in closer?” He whispered. The sound would barely be audible if anyone else was there, so he said those words specifically for you to hear. 
You shook your head, and he took another step forward. Your bodies were a centimeter away from being pressed up against one another, and your heart was beating so fast, making your hands shake and tremble. He looked down at you so intently that you were under his spell, and you were conflicted as you wish you knew how to break the spell as his green eyes looked deep into you, luring you in even more. 
You took a deep breath. “Kiss me already,” you breathed out. Harry’s heart nearly stopped at your words, but he slightly smirked as he blushed, brushing your hair behind your ears before taking your face into your hands and leaning down to place a deep and passionate kiss onto your lips. 
This feeling, this touch, this man was what you’ve been waiting for these past two years. Throughout those years, you felt like giving up; accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to love you again. But he had proved you wrong in the simple brush of his lips and tongue that were in sync with yours, making the spark between you grow bigger and bigger. The spark that had never lost its power, but was on pause.
You grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer as the other hand was wrapped around his back. Harry had you pushed up against his front door, and you had the urge to lift your leg up to wrap it around him, but you resisted. 
Harry wanted more, too. His hands trailed down from your face to your back, closing the nonexistent proximity between you, and guided you back to the couch. You were walking backwards, completely trusting him that he wouldn’t let you fall as his lips never left yours. 
You giggled once the back of your legs hit the couch, falling onto the soft material as Harry hovered over you, laying in between your legs. He looked at you for a moment, studying every freckle, the crimson color on your cheeks, the curve when you smile, your glimmering eyes, and your cute nose. He knew that it was exactly how he remembered. After a couple of years being separated, a beautiful face like yours was hard to forget. 
“You’re quite crazy to think I’d want to live the rest of my life with someone else when you’re right in front of me,” he suddenly said. Your eyes widened at his confession. “Never wanna be without you ever again. Thought you didn’t want to be with me when I came back, so I just didn’t bother. But you have no idea how much I missed you. I missed you so much.” 
He placed soft kisses all around your face as he spoke, leaving you feeling so tender and soft as he was so gentle with you. For someone who’s on her way to becoming a lawyer and always having to have an answer for everything, you were speechless. The words that you’ve been waiting for for so long were music to your ears. It rolled off his tongue so smoothly, slick like honey, and you connected your lips with his again, swirling your tongue against his as you devoured his words. Hands finding their way to his hair, you gripped on his locks and pulled just the way he liked it, earning a groan from him, and you smirked against his mouth. 
You pulled back, leaving him breathless. Swollen lips, blushed cheeks, and smiles plastered on his face, you said the words you’ve been itching to say. “I love you,” you blurted out. The words had rolled off your tongue so effortlessly, making shivers run down Harry’s spine as his eyes watered up. “I was listening to Elijah earlier, and he’s right. Life’s too fucking short to not have what you want.” 
He took one of your hands into his, bringing it up to his lips before placing a kiss onto the back of your hand. Your other hand was playing with the curls that laid delicately on his hands, scratching it lightly. 
“Missed hearing you say those words.” He smiled, tears making their way down his face. “I love you too. So, so much that you have no idea how I feel when you walk into the room and I see your beautiful face. I love you. I love you. I love you, baby.” His affirmations had caused you to softly sob—the two of you a crying mess from the obvious but unspoken love that was finally being released again. “It’s always been you. You’ve always been my girl, did you know that?” You tilted your head a bit. “Never gonna go a day without reminding you that you are, because you’ve never not been my girl. Had to love and admire you from afar, but just wanted to hold you and kiss you.” 
“You can kiss and hold me all you want now, my love,” you reassured him, and he dug his face into your neck, placing a soft kiss against your skin. 
You smiled so brightly as your heart felt so happy and overflowed with love, and he matched your grin, feeling the same way. 
The two of you kissed each other for a bit more, whispering sweet words, and laughed and talked about anything and everything—truly catching up with one another. 
“Oh.” He got off of you, making you slightly pout from the weight of laying on you that you already missed. “I actually got you another gift.” 
“Harry…you already got me enough.” It was true. Along with the thoughtful gift, he was your true Christmas miracle. 
“I know. But this one, I wanted to give to you in private, and this is the perfect moment, so let me do this?” He looked at you with sweet and pleading eyes with a small smile on his face. Who could ever say no to that adorable face? Certainly not you. 
You nodded, and he shot up, heading towards the stairs. “Give me thirty seconds,” he said before rushing up the stairs. 
You heard him shuffling up there, and the sound of a drawer opening and closing. Thirty seconds later, he was walking downstairs, holding a white box wrapped in a red bow. He sat back down next to you, looking into your eyes as he spoke. 
“This is what I wanted to give you when we were alone. It didn’t matter the outcome of how things turned out between us tonight, I just wanted to give you this because I think you’ll appreciate it. It reminded me of you when I saw it, and I knew I had to get it.” He handed you the box with slightly shaky hands. 
You untied the bow, taking the top off. A gasp came from your mouth as you picked up the chain. It was a little gold sun pendant, symbolizing your summer together. You studied the charm for a moment, delicately touching it as you teared up at the meaning behind it. It matched quite well with your embroidered apron, and the two together would be quite the match. 
“Thank you, Harry. This is so sweet of you.” You leaned forward, giving him a hasty kiss to his lips, smiling against them. “Help me put it on?” He nodded eagerly. You handed him the necklace before turning around, lifting your hair. You felt the cool metal chain hit your skin along with Harry’s lingering touches across your shoulders, causing your skin to pebble. He placed a quick kiss to your neck before pulling away. You turned around to meet his eyes as you smiled. 
“Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m so happy. Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, baby.” 
“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, my love.” 
You cuddled into his side as the silence took over. The only thing was heard was the pounding of your love-filled hearts along with the cracking of the fire. Sure, it was cold outside, but right here in Harry’s arms, you were warmer than ever. 
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