#anyways I think Buck should hug people over the top of things more often for the physical comedy of it all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

Windows Down, Music Up

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 3730

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Lotsa Fluff, Slight Angst, Talk of PTSD/Flashbacks, No Seatbelts at One Point (WEAR SEATBELTS!)

A/N: The Part I didn’t know I needed. I started writing and this is where it got me. I needed these soft moments after the intensity of the last few parts. I know I said there’d only be one part left, but…I didn’t know this Part would be so long. So three parts for episode 5 it is!

I hope you enjoy this! I know it’s not really a part of the show, but I love the idea and I think both Bucky and the Reader needed it. Plus the show has a lot of leeway this episode because time passes but they kinda skip over traveling and stuff, so I thought I’d give you a glimpse of what it looks like in mine!

Not beta’d, as per usual! All mistakes are mine and please excuse them! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy this part and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

******************

“So what’s next?” You questioned, your feet hooked onto the bar below the bar you were sitting on so you didn’t fall. Not that you could - Bucky was right next to you, his hand flying to your thigh every time you shifted even a little bit to keep you steady. “Walker’s been arrested, we have the shield, Karli’s in the wind…where does that leave us? Do we have any leads on Karli right now?”

“The GRC is conducting raids to try and find Karli, but so far they’ve only found her followers. They’ve searched this camp, and just like the last camp, nothing. She’s gone. And we’ll never find her.”

You huffed at Sam’s words, rubbing your temples as you grumble, “way to look on the bright side.”

“What bright side? There’s not one here, cher. Not this time.”

“Hey.” Bucky snapped. “Back off, Sam.”

You grabbed his forearm and squeezed reassuringly. “Hey! You got your, uh, you got your sleeve back!” You turned at the familiar voice that caused Bucky to scoff lightly and shake his head.

“Torres!”

The kid smiled at you, waving as Bucky pushed off the bars, helping you down (he’d been refusing to let you do anything on your own since you woke up) and started walking towards the door. “Hi, Y/N. It’s been a while.”

“Are you off to take care of Zemo?” Sam questioned, making Bucky look over his shoulder at the three of you. The former assassin raised an eyebrow at you. You nodded, and he turned around to leave.

“Alright! Good to know you survived!”

You snickered a bit at the kid. “It’s good to see you.”

Torres turned back to you and grinned. “You too. I really am glad you survived.”

“I know you are, kid.”

Sam looked at you questioningly. “Are you gonna go with him?” You pursed your lips, chewing your cheek, and nodded. “Alright. C’mere.”

You frowned as he lifted his arms, but walked into them anyways. “What’re we doing right now? This isn’t goodbye. We’ve still gotta find Karli.”

“For now.” He responded, setting his chin on your head, careful of your shoulder. “But we don’t have any leads and I’m sure we’ve been benched. So, until we do and we meet again, stay safe. And take care of yourself. And for the love of God, please have that conversation with cyborg, now.”

A small puff of laughter came from you and you nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later then, Sammy.”

He pressed a kiss to your head, before letting you go. “Later, cher.”

“Bye, Y/N!”

You smiled, waving to Torres. “Bye, kid. Keep out of trouble.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

You chuckled, shaking your head as you walked out the door Bucky disappeared through earlier, turning down the hall to exit the building.

When you got outside, you found Bucky leaning against a wall, narrowed eyes watching the police as they finished the raid. “Do you agree with it?”

“What?”

“These people getting arrested.”

You shrugged, shoving your hands in your pockets. “They harbored a criminal.”

He looked at you with a frown, eyebrows knit together and forehead creased. “We harbored a criminal. We broke him out.”

“Technically he broke himself out.” Your joke fell flat, Bucky’s head dropping. “Buck…” You sighed, eyes following a lady as she was shoved into the back of a car. “No. I don’t. I think these people have been through enough.”

“But?” His eyes grew sad as you met his gaze again, making you smile softly at him.

“But we can’t do anything about it right now. So we need to focus on doing what we can and finding Zemo.”

He nodded, reaching for your hand as he straightened and started walking off. You grabbed his fingers, jogging slightly to fall into sync with his strides. He seemed to notice and slowed down slightly. “We already know where he is, though. Don’t we?”

You hummed, thumb brushing over his knuckles. “Where else would he be?”

“Anywhere.”

You shook your head. “No. He’s there. Question is…how are you going to take care of him?”

“Sam thinks I’m gonna kill him.”

His blunt statement made you raise an eyebrow. “Are you?”

Licking his lips, he looked down at you, eyes set with certainty. “No.”

Your lips pulled up at his answer, leaning closer into him, shoulders brushing. “Good. Not that I’m an advocate for never killing people ever…it’s just,” you chewed on your cheek, thinking about the previous day’s events. “Revenge and justice are two different things.”

“Yeah.” He agreed softly. “We kinda witnessed that.”

“Yeah…we did.”

He let go of your hand to wrap an arm around your shoulders, tenderly avoiding your wrapped wound. “Good thing I contacted Ayo while you were sleeping then, huh?”

“You did?” You looked up at him with a smile as he nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah. And…I’ve been thinking a lot. Since our conversation about Wakanda and Zemo and Sam. You were right.”

A smirk graced your lips, an eyebrow quirking in amusement. “Pardon me? I don’t think I heard you correctly. What was that?”

He rolled his eyes, reaching over with his free hand to shove your head lightly, making you laugh. “You are such a punk sometimes. I’m serious though, doll. I-I’ve been…I dunno…I haven’t been thinking straight. The whole thing with Zemo was wrong and-and Sam didn’t deserve what I was blaming him for.”

You froze in your steps, tugging him to a stop as well, staring at him thoughtfully. Just since that phone call a couple weeks ago he’d grown so much. You could barely believe what he was saying - that he was finally saying it. He was a stubborn ass sometimes, so to hear him say that? It just stunned you. You knew he was a good person, but this…you felt yourself falling more, which you thought was impossible.

“Doll? Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?”

Your arms raised around his neck, tugging him down into a hug, your lips pressing to his cheek. “I’m just proud of you.” You murmured softly, kissing his temple. He ducked his head, leaning against your shoulder, arms wrapping tightly around your waist. You held him like for another minute or two, before kissing his temple again. “We should get going. Gotta get to Sokovia before the Dora do.”

He hummed in agreement, pulling you tighter against him and squeezing you slightly, before letting go. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

“Question.” You said once you two started walking again.

“Possible answer.” He replied, making you elbow him as he chuckled.

“How’re we gonna get to Sokovia?”

He blinked, tilting his head. “Uh…plane? Unless you wanna have a road trip. The plane would only take a couple hours at most and a car, well…I could have us there in under a day with some broken traffic laws.”

You giggled, shaking your head. “Know what? I could go for a road trip right now.”

“Yeah?” He grinned at you.

“Yeah. And yes, you can drive. Just don’t get us in the middle of a high speed chase.”

He winked, kissing your head. “No promises.”

**********************

Bucky was actually a very good road trip partner. He made sure you had plenty of your snacks and let you control the music, turning up the volume for your favorite songs, shouting the lyrics to the heavens as you danced in your seat, the windows rolled down, wind ripping through the car, ruffling both of your clothes and hair.

You grinned over at Bucky, bobbing your head to the beat as he stared back at you, his eyes soft and sparkling. “Watch the road, dork!” He chuckled as you shoved his face.

“I’d much rather watch you.”

You felt yourself heat up despite the cool breeze moving through the car. “Have you ever stuck your head out the sunroof?” You suddenly asked him.

He gave you a weird look. “What?” Feeling a bit mischievous, you smirked and unbuckled. “Woah, woah! What are you doing?! But your seatbelt back on!”

“Oh calm down!” You stood on the seat after opening the sunroof, the top half of your body outside the car. He laughed as you whooped and hollered.

“Alright, alright. Sit back down, doll.” He tugged you back in, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

You smiled, putting your seatbelt back on and plopping your feet on the dash. “Like what?”

He turned to look at you, his teeth pulling his bottom lip between them contemplating. “Carefree. Relaxed, even.”

You shrugged, leaning back in your seat. “I don’t get to do it often. But it’s so hard to care right now.” You gestured out to the gorgeous landscape you were moving through, the sunsetting on the horizon. “The wind, the music, the open road. Nothing feels more like freedom.”

“Yeah…yeah. I guess. I’ve never really…been on a road trip. Unless you count going across Germany in that little blue car-”

“Ha! That was not a road trip! That was Steve being a reckless dumbass driver for a few hours.”

He laughed. You’d heard him laugh before, but this was different. Something about the freedom you were talking about made it different. It was nice. And you’d do anything to hear it more often.

“I’ll take you on a real road trip once this is done.” You vowed. “We’ll hit all the states. Even go through Canada to get to Alaska. Nothing but us in a car for weeks. Wherever we wanna go.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.”

You winked. “You do that.”

Conversation died after that, the only sounds being you and your music with the occasional chuckle from Bucky at your over dramatic dancing. You made a few stops at gas stations, getting food and drinks, before you felt yourself start winding down as the stars came out, winking down at you. You didn’t even realize you drifted off until the car jostled, waking you up.

“Sorry, sleepyhead.” Bucky apologized. “There was a deer. Maybe if you put your seatbelt on you would’ve stayed asleep.”

You rolled your eyes, rubbing at them and blinking. It was still dark out, no hint of the sun peeking out yet. “They’re uncomfortable.” You grumbled, shifting and wincing at your leg which was still asleep. “What time is it?”

“Almost two.” Bucky answered. “Are you okay? Is your shoulder hurting?”

“No. My leg’s just asleep so it feels weird and it’s aching. You want me to drive so you can sleep?”

“Nah, it’s fine. We’ll be there in a few hours. I’ve got it.”

You hummed, sitting up and digging through your bag for some food. “Hungry?”

“Uh…I’ll just take a bag of pretzels.” Nodding, you grabbed one of the bags and handed it to him. It was quiet, the radio now turned low on some jazzy station you were sure Bucky turned it to once you fell asleep. “I’ve been thinking-”

“Hope you didn’t hurt yourself.” He shot you a bemused look, making you giggle. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“I’ve been thinking of that fight. With Walker.”

You tensed, clearing your throat as you munch on your snack. “Oh?”

Glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, you saw him lick his lips, setting the bag down on the middle console, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “When you were fighting him…why-why’d you hesitate?”

“What do you mean?”

He glanced over at you quickly, forehead creased. “You had the shield. You were holding your own. I’m sure Steve taught you some stuff…but then…” He trailed off, seemingly trying to find words. “It was like that first fight. On the semi trucks. You hesitated. Got distracted. Why?”

You shrugged, turning back to your food nonchalantly. “I guess I just had a lot on my mind. That’s all.”

“I know you better than that, doll. Please don’t lie to me.” Turning to the window, you just noticed that yours wasn’t down anymore. You look over to his side to see his was only a little cracked open. “I didn’t want you to wake up so I rolled them up. Answer the question.”

Letting out a sigh, you shrugged again. “I’ve been having…flashbacks.”

“Flashbacks?”

You nodded, sipping on your water bottle. “Yeah. Kinda like PTSD, but it’s not. Not really. They’re never traumatic or anything.”

You could see the gears in his head turning, his jaw clenching. “What are they about then?”

“Steve.”

The tension in his shoulders slipped, his head ducking while still keeping his eyes on the road. “Oh…why…why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want anyone to worry about me with all the other problems we’re having-”

“Hey.” Your eyes snapped up from where they fell at his sharp tone, his gaze meeting yours. “Don’t ever think that. Ever. You’re not a fucking burden, Y/N. You’re important to me. I-” He cut himself off, shaking his head and looking back out the front. “Does Sam know at least?”

You pursed your lips. “I-I told Sharon?”

He groaned, head falling back against the seat. “Sweetheart…”

“They’re just memories. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is if it’s affecting you on the field. And if it’s gonna get you or someone else hurt-”

Crossing your arms, you shifted in your seat, feeling the ache in your legs from sleeping in that position too long. “What? You don’t trust me now?”

“No! That’s not what I’m saying!”

“What’re you saying, Buck? You can’t have me watching your back because my mind’s messed up right now?” The car came to a halt and you sat up, looking around worriedly to see if any cars were coming. “James, we’re in the middle of the street-”

“Look at me.” You turned to him, only to look away at the intensity of his eyes. “Doll. Look at me.” He repeated tenderly, grabbing your chin between his fingers, making you face him. “I trust you.” His tone was nothing but genuine, and you’d never seen him look so sincere. “With my life, I trust you. But if your head isn’t in it? It’s okay, you just need to tell someone. When did you start trusting me?”

“At the airport in Germany.” You answered quietly.

He tilted his head. You kinda missed his long hair - the way it used to get in his eyes and you’d have to brush it behind his ear. “Even though I could still get triggered?”

“Well, yeah. But that’s different! You wouldn’t have been in your right…mind if you were…triggered…”

He raised an eyebrow as you frowned. “Trusting you and trusting your mental state are two different things. I’d know. Sometimes our brain’s do stupid things and we can’t stop it. But we can get help.”

You sighed, hanging your head. “Okay. Alright. I got it. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just…tell me about it.”

You nodded, before looking at the road. “Okay, okay. But can you drive? We’re still in the middle of the road.”

He chuckled and nodded, starting up the car again. After a moment, he glanced at you. “So?”

Another sigh left your lips, before you told him. You told him what’s triggered you so far and what the memories were about. How it feels when you slip. “It’s like, I remember something and my mind latches onto it and won’t let me out until I relive it again.” He just nodded, never interrupting as you explained what was going on.

It felt good to finally get it off your chest. And it felt good knowing he wasn’t freaking out and pulling you from the mission like you thought he’d do. It was something you hadn’t done in a long time. The last person who sat down and listened to your problems was Steve and the fact that you felt comfortable enough around Bucky to pour out your soul made you realize that Steve was gone. But Bucky was here. And maybe it was time to let go.

Bucky looked over to you when you stopped talking abruptly, cocking his head to the side. “Sweetheart? You alright?”

You lunged forwards, hugging his shoulders, burying your face in his neck. Fortunately for you, he had great reflexes, or else you’d probably be wrapped around a tree. You couldn’t care about the what ifs though. Sniffing, you closed your eyes, a couple tears leaking down your cheeks and landing on the skin connecting his shoulder to his neck.

“Thank you.”

It was so soft and muffled by his shirt, you weren’t sure if he heard it. But then he set his cheek on your head, his hand coming up to run through your hair like you did to him when he needed comfort. “C’mere, cuddle bug.” He cradled your head, shifting you easily so you could lay down comfortably, your legs curled in your seat, your head in his lap, taking extra care that your shoulder wasn’t agitated. “Try to get more sleep, doll. We’ll be there soon.”

You nodded, sleep taking over you once more with Bucky’s fingers in your hair, soft jazz still floating through the air along with the slight whistle of the wind from the crack in his window.

****************

You leaned against the hood of the car, crossing your arms, watching Bucky pull on a shirt. You had stopped at a rest stop to clean up and change, just a few more miles until you got to the memorial.

“Ayo’s there already.” Bucky spoke, shrugging on his jacket. You pushed off the hood of the car to pull him closer by the sides of his jacket, your fingers moving to button it. “I just…I want a couple minutes alone with him.”

You nodded. “Okay. I can do that.”

“You trust me right?”

“More than anything.” You confirmed, looking up at him, smoothing his jacket down with your hands.

He nodded, leaning forwards to kiss your forehead. “I just - I just need you to know…I’m not gonna kill him.”

You nodded back, smiling softly at him. “I know.”

“Okay…let’s get going then. Get this over with.”

It didn’t take you long to reach the memorial, only a few more minutes down the main street and then going off down a side road.

Just as Bucky said, the Dora Milaje were already there, waiting for the two of you to show up. Bucky and Ayo had a conversation in Xhosa - which you were really regretting not learning anything more than “hi”, “please”, “thank you”, and “where’s the bathroom?” - before he turned to you.

“Stay with them. Just...I just need a couple minutes.” You nodded, eyes flickering down to the gun he pulled out from his coat pocket. He hooked a finger under your chin, lifting your gaze back to him. “Trust me.”

“Sometimes our brains do stupid things.”

He shook his head, kissing your forehead. “Not this time. ‘Cause I have help.”

Pursing your lips, you nodded. He gave you a reassuring smile, before stepping away, out of the trees to face Zemo. You couldn’t hear what was being said, but you had to admit that when Bucky lifted the gun, your heart skipped a beat. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. He promised.

The quiet click of the gun seemed to echo, a pressure lifting off your chest as the bullets spilled from Bucky’s hand, clattering against the ground.

You figured that was the signal, considering Ayo led her badass women out to grab Zemo right after the bullets hit the ground, so you followed them out. You stopped next to Bucky, his hand slipping out of his pocket to wrap around your shoulders, tugging you to his side, your arms wrapping around his waist.

“I was listening to your heartbeat. You get nervous for a second, doll?”

You hummed in response to his question in your ear. “I trust you…but that doesn’t mean you don’t raise my anxiety levels.”

He snickered, kissing your temple, before straightening to listen to what Ayo had to say as she stepped towards you. She informed you both that Zemo would be going to the Raft and told Bucky to stay away from Wakanda for a while; both very fair statements that you weren’t surprised to hear. What you were surprised to hear was Bucky’s next sentence.

“I may have another favor to ask of you.”

Ayo raised an eyebrow, signaling for him to go on. Bucky caught your eye and his lips twitched up into a small smirk, before he faced her again and started speaking Xhosa, making you groan.

After their conversation, Ayo nodded. “We will drop it off here tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you.”

You pouted as Ayo turned to walk to their ship, Bucky starting to lead you back to the car. “You’re not gonna tell me what that was about, are you?”

“Nope.”

You huffed. “You’re the worst, you know that?”

He chuckled. “You’ll find out.”

“Soon?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

Bucky shrugged, pulling open the passenger side door for you. “On when Sam wants you to see it.”

You narrowed your eyes, a smile spreading on your face. “You got Sammy a present?”

“Maybe.”

You groaned, sliding into the car before he shut the door, watching him jog to his side. “You’re so annoying.” You spoke once he got in and started the vehicle again.

“If you feel that way, you don’t have to come to Louisiana with me to drop it off.”

Scoffing, you gaped at him in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

He shrugged, turning in his seat and putting his hand on the back of your headrest to back out of the spot he parked in. “If I’m so annoying-”

“You’re so dramatic!”

“I thought I was annoying?”

“You’re both!”

He grinned at you, before looking through the windshield, blinking as something occurred to him. “I dunno where we’re going. We have to come back tomorrow morning-”

“Just drive, Buck.”

He blinked at you, eyebrows raising in slight shock. “What?”

You shrugged, nodding your head to the road. “Drive. Wherever we want, remember? Just until tomorrow. We can go back to reality after we pick up Sammy’s gift, but for now-”

“Just drive?” He guessed, the corners of his lips pulling up.

You smirked, shooting him a wink before propping your feet up on the dash again, turning up the radio, and linking your hands behind your head. “Exactly, Buckaroo.”

1K notes · View notes

donutloverxo · 3 years

Text

Messed up

*gif is not mine*

Kinktober day 5 - face sitting

Note - This is a sequel to past self. But can be read as a stand alone as well I think. Dividers by @whimsicalrogers.

Summary - Steve messed up and he's determined to make it upto you.

Warnings - 18+ only please, smut (m/f), daddy kink, age gap.

Pairing - Nomad!Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 3.4k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

“No.”

“Please?”

“Absolutely not.”

You weren’t used to being told no, at least not after you used your secret weapon, if he was anything like his best pal it has to work. Blinking and fluttering your lashes you broke out your Disney princess eyes, “Buck buck, please let me braid your hair,” you cooed.

He stared at you, his lips pressed in a thin line, “Fine,” he sighed finally, giving in.

You squealed, running off to your bedroom to get a brush.

“I remember I used to braid my friends hair at sleepovers, it was such fun,” you said, dividing a strand of his hair in three parts, one over the other, “Before I got my powers anyway, after that they’d all just be scared of me...” you trailed off.

“Steve’s excited to see you,” he told you after a beat of silence.

He had only been living with you for a week or so, it was surprising how close he already felt to you. You had a certain vulnerability that made him want to protect you. That and it was obvious how far gone Steve was for you. You were down so he had to say something to cheer you up.

“Wait what?” your hands stopped, “He’s coming here?”

“Yeah, he left yesterday. Should be here this evening. He wanted it to be a surprise.”

You took a sharp breath, remembering how he had so cruelly rejected you and sent you off to Wakanda just so he wouldn’t have to deal with you.

He abandoned you.

“I don’t want to meet him. I’ll stay over at Shuri’s, she wanted to have a girls night anyway,” you grumbled.

After you had gushed your love for them, baking brownies in your jammies and talking about boys while watching chick flicks, she seemed curious and fascinated, wanting to try one with you.

He hummed at that. He knew something had went down between the two of you, Steve said so himself, ‘I have a lot to make up for.’ He was curious as to how his clueless friend had messed up, but it wasn’t his place to ask.

Which is why he brought Steve to the cottage he shared with you. Listening to him talking about all the missions in Europe and Russia, how he was excited to see you, how he had missed him terribly. Bucky told him he spends his time taking care of his new goat and his beautiful cat. They often keep him occupied.

“Y/N said that I’m ‘totally a cat person’,” his lips curling up at how you had helped him pick a name for her.

“Hm, that’s true. Are you... you live with her... are you two close?” Steve stumbled over his words, his jaw clenching as he stared his dear friend down. He was more than happy to see him, but couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the thought of you getting too cosy with him.

“In a way,” he smirked. “She’s a bit upset with you, just a heads up.”

“Yeah, I know, I deserve it,” he hung his head.

His palms shaky as they both entered the small cottage, going over what he would say to you. You were sitting on the couch in the, your feet propped up on it as you flipped through a magazine.

“You’re home early,” you smiled as you looked up at him. Your sweet smile turning into a frown when you saw him.

“Hey there, doll,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

You slapped the magazine on the couch, standing to your feet, your arms over your chest. “Captain,” you spat

His heart ached at that. He knew you were upset but to have you be so hostile to him, he didn’t know if he could take it.

He could easy handle being tortured by hydra agents but not this.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Bucky interrupted you both before taking off to find his cat, who knew where Alpine had wandered off to this time.

You both stood awkwardly, a few feet away from each other while you looked anywhere but his eyes, refusing to even look at him.

“How have you been?” he asked.

“Fine, I guess,” you mumbled, finally looking up, “as fine as I can be after being shrugged off like yesterday’s news.”

“Honey,” he took a step towards you but then stopped in his tracks when you backed away. “I’m sorry, I made a terrible mistake. I.. just couldn’t deal with my feelings, I thought I’d be taking advantage of you.”

You scoffed, “Taking advantage of me? Really? I’m not a child! I can decide for myself what’s good for me and what’s not.”

“I know that now. But... you’re so young and I’m supposed to be looking out for you and helping you,” he tried to reason with you while you shook your head in disbelief.

“Right, because you’re Captain America. Everyone should just do whatever you say. You always know what’s best, unlike us mere mortals,” you rolled your eyes.

He was in front of you in just two long strides, his brows furrowed and his patience running thin. “I’m not Captain America anymore,” he reminded you as he inhaled your soothing scent.

“You’ll always be Captain America he’s a part of you. And I’ll... never be good enough for you.” You stared at the henley stretched out over his broad chest, willing yourself to resist the urge to hug him. Him standing so close to you, you could inhale his unique scent you had grown to love so much.

“What?” he frowned. “Where did you get that idea?” It was absolutely ludicrous. He would have to pay a visit to whoever it was that said that to you.

“It’s the truth... that’s why you don’t want me. And I don’t blame you.” Why would someone like him be interested in you anyway.

“Doll,” he cupped your cheeks, tilting you’d head up to make you look at him, “I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. I mean look at me.”

You arched a brow, giving him a once over before looking at his blue orbs again, his strong jaw covered in a thick beard, long locks that feel so silky in your hands, “You look like you belong on the cover of GQ, and before you have to ask, I’ll spell it out for you, since you’re like a thousand years old - GQs a magazine with pretty people on it.”

“I didn’t always look like this. I used to be very small, smaller than you.”

“Yeah, I know,” you smiled. “I’ve seen pictures, you were adorable.”

“Would you believe me if I told you a secret?”

“Yeah...” you’d believe him if he told you the sky was falling. Steve never lied.

“I love you,” he confessed as your jaw dropped, “I’ve loved you since the moment I met you. And I might not deserve you but if you consider me worthy of you, then I’d... like to have you.”

Your breath hitched as you stared at him, completely dumbfounded. “Wh - really? Nobody’s ever said that to me,” you blinked as tears started welling up in your eyes.

“I love you more than life itself. And I have a feeling that we will end up together,” he grinned.

“Well, don’t get too cocky now, I haven’t said yes yet,” you slapped his chest.

He grazed his fingers over your knuckles before holding your smaller hand in his, “So? What do you think?”

“I think... if you hurt me again I’ll punch you so hard. And my punches are much better now, thanks to Bucky, he’s been teaching me lots of stuff.”

“Never,” he shook his head, “I’d never hurt you. You’re so precious,” he kissed your knuckles.

“And you’d never leave me again,” you wanted it to be a fierce demand but your pout made it more of a needy request.

“I’m never letting you out of my sight again. We’re partners. Captain America is gone. It’s just you and me now,” he promised.

You blinked your tears away, standing on your tippy toes to place a lingering kiss to his soft plump lips.

Smiling as you pulled away, you grabbed his hand, leading him to your bedroom.

“Where are we going, doll?” he chuckled, holding onto your hips and pulling your back against his chest, attacking your neck with a flurry of kisses, unable to keep his hands off of you for even a moment.

Your squirmed in his hold, “To the bedroom. Just in case Bucky comes back,” you let out a giggle when he blew a raspberry in the crook of your neck, which then quickly turned into a moan as he sucked a mark on it.

Somehow, you managed to drag him to your small bedroom, if he had his way you’d have fucked in the hallway.

Straddling his lap on your twin bed, which looked much smaller now, what with a super soldier on top of it.

Kissing him deeply, you pulled away, breathless but only to say, “I love you, too, this is just too good to be true,” you heaved.

“A lot of unbelievable things have been happening to me lately,” he pulled you back, groaning into your mouth as you rolled your hips against his crotch. Looking at you sternly, “Doll,” he warned you.

“Please,” you whined, humping his growing erection through his jeans and your thin shorts, you could feel your panties getting wet with your arousal. “I want you, so bad,” you kept rolling your hips till he stopped you by digging his fingers in them.

“This is not how it’s done... I’m supposed to take you out on dates and buy you flowers and chocolates - ” he choked on a moan as you palmed him through his pants.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” he gritted, snaking his fingers in your short shorts, he brushed his fingers over your weeping folds. “You want me?” he asked as you desperately nodded your head. “What do you want, sweetheart?”

You gulped, looking into his eyes and opening your mouth to answer him, his intense gaze intimidating you as you hid your face in his neck, “You know...”

“What?” he asked again, “I’m like over a thousand years old, I’m rusty, you have to tell me,” he teased you, swirling your juices around on your soft petals.

He wasn’t rusty. He had been with 'you' just a week ago, only it wasn’t you. This would be your first time with him but not his with you. It was still strange, he couldn’t really wrap his head around it or bring himself to care.

“I want you... to.. to make love to me,” you said.

“You know I would never say no to you, sweetheart,” he kissed your hair, retracting his hand from your shorts he sucks your juices off his fingers, you taste the same.

You helped him as he rolled your shorts and your panties down your legs, pulling your tank top up and tossing it away. You fumbled, making yourself small and covering yourself up with your arms. But he wasn’t having any of it, he pinned your hands behind your back, latching onto your nipple.

“I’m...,” you gasped as he bit your hardened bud, bunching his henley up in your hand, “you’re wearing too making clothes,” you complained.

“Then why don’t you help me take them off, doll?”

Your eager hands pulled him out his pesky clothes, hiding his magnificent physique from you. You had seen him shirtless a handful of times, while dressing his wounds, but you always stared at him in awe. He did look like he was made in a laboratory.

You knelt before him, between his legs, eager to find out if he tastes as good as he looks.

He tried to stop you but you swatted his hands away, “You’ll hurt your knees, doll,” he reasoned.

You snorted, wrapping your hand around his thick girth, “I thought we were partners. I won’t have you treat me like I’m some damsel in distress again.”

He pouted, pulling at your kiss swollen bottom lip with his thumb, “That’s too bad because I’m always going to take care of you, especially now that I’m your man.”

You rolled your eyes, he really was getting ahead of himself, he’ll have to do a lot more to prove himself before you accept him as ‘your man’.

But you decide to let that go for now, instead focusing on his cock glistening with precum, peaking your tongue out to taste some of it and swirling your tongue around on his bulbous head.

“Don’t tease, doll,” he groaned, holding onto the back of your head, not really pushing but to urge you to take more of him because he was at the end of his rope, feeling as if he’d burst right there.

You pushed away at his hand, “I’m in control,” you stated, “no touching till I say so. Is that understood?”

He didn’t care, he just wanted you to stop your cruelty and put your mouth on him so he simply nodded, not knowing if he could actually keep the promise.

With a victorious smile you wrapped your mouth around his head, leisurely sucking on it, moaning at the taste of him before taking in as much as you could, pumping the rest of his length, fondling his balls with the other hand.

He was about to touch your perky breasts, but then remembered your ridiculous ‘no touching' rule so he ran a hand through his head hair, wiping the sheen of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

“God that mouth of yours,” he growled when you pulled him out with a loud ‘pop’.

A string of saliva connecting your lips to him, “I want you to come in my mouth,” you instructed.

“You want to swallow daddys cum?” he couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the incredulous look on his face.

“Who would’ve known... Steven 'golden boy’ Rogers, of all people...” you shook your head, a small smile on your face as you thought about the times you had called him that in your head while rubbing one out to the thought of him.

You pressed your lips to the vein on the underside of his cock, sucking on it, “You’re going to come in my mouth, daddy, and stay there until I swallow all of it,” you told him, if only to remind him that you were in control, even if he ‘convinced' you to call him that.

You lightly scraped your teeth over his length before swallowing around him, gagging a bit as you tried to take more of him, but it seemed impossible to fit him whole no matter how hard your tried.

“I’ll try,” he teased, releasing a shaky exhale, his balls tightening in your palm as he held onto the sheets, painting the back of your throat with ropes of his spend.

You swallowed all of him, suckling on his length till you felt him softening in your mouth, you opened your mouth to show him, “Told you I’d swallow it all,” you licked your lips, just in case you missed anything.

“You’re such a good girl.” He praised, cupping your head and leaning down to kiss you, tasting himself on your lips. Easily picking you up and flipping you so that you were on your back, he spread your thighs, licking his lips as he caught a glimpse of your cunt. “What do you want to do now, sweetheart?” he asked again.

You whimpered, mumbling nonsense but you knew, once Steve set his mind to something it was impossible to convince him otherwise. He was really gonna make you say it out loud. “I want your mouth on me,” you turned your head to the side, shutting your eyes, completely flustered.

He dove in for his prize, giving your bundle of nerves a soft kiss before smearing your juices around your cunt with his fingers, prodding one at your entrance he plunged it in, your walls hugging it so wonderfully, “You’re so tight, all for me...” he blew a breath of air on it, kissing the soft patch of hair on top of your mould.

You were much too delirious to think of anything but his fingers teasing you, his lips pressing butterfly kisses to your thighs, his hands massaging your titts, but you vaguely heard him call out your name.

“What?” you rasped, propping yourself up on your elbows.

“Come, sit on my face. You said you wanted to be in control,” he shrugged.

“Wh - what... do you even know how that works?” you heaved. You had never done something like that before, while it sounds enticing, it would be impractical... maybe...

“I thought they had like two sex positions in the forties. The missionary, and uh...”

He shushed you, “I’ve never been a prude, you should know that by now,” lying on his back, he felt his dick hardening again and aching for any kind of attention from you, but he’d have to take care of you first.

“Come here...” He held onto your hips, pulling you up till you were over his mouth, “Take what you need, doll.”

You hummed, running your drenched pussy over his face, a shiver went up your spine at the feel of his coarse bread on your sensitive skin, “I can’t,” you mewled.

“Yes, you can, doll. Come on, be good for your daddy,” he spurred you on.

Taking a deep breath, you held onto the headboard, arching your back as he wrapped his mouth around your bundle of nerves, you started grinding your hips over him, soon getting accustomed and even liking the burn his glorious beard gave you.

“I’m gonna... come, daddy,” your voice breathy, your hand massaging your breast as you gushed around his beard.

You held onto the board, trying to catch your breath, your other hand in his long locks as he kept lapping you up.

You shuddered as you crawled down his body, hovering over his hard cock which was pressing against his taut stomach. You spread your lips with your fingers, peaking up to see him looking at you with dark, lust ridden eyes, coating him in your juices by running your clit up and down his length.

It was too much for your sensitive clit to be rubbing against the velvety skin of his cock but not nearly enough for him.

He digs his nails into your hips, growling, “Get on with it,” he held onto the base of his length, nudging your lips aside before plunging into your heat.

“Oh,” you gulped, trying to sink your hips down on him but even after all that preparation he was too big for you.

“You’re so small, doll,” he smiled, noticing your evident struggle as he caressed your cheek, his eyes fixed on you trying to take him in, “is it too hard?”

You nodded, “I can still do it though,” still so eager to please him...

“You don’t have to. You’ve done so much already, you must be tired.”

You opened your mouth, to argue that he was the one who had taken a long journey to get here, but he circled a hand around your waist, bringing you down, flush against his chest.

“You just lay there and let me do the work, okay, sweetheart?” you whimpered but nodded with your cheek pressed to his heart as he thrusted deep into you.

“Okay, daddy, I’ll try,” you murmured, tears streaming down your cheek when he brushed against your sweet spot.

He stopped his hips when he heard you son, “You all right, doll?” he asked, looking down at you.

“Yes, it’s just so good, please don’t stop,” you requested.

And he had promised to never say no to you so he kept fucking up into your tight hole, whispering sweet words to you, telling you just how good you were at taking him, how well you were doing.

“My one and only,” he kissed your head as you cried into his chest, clenching around his cock. Triggering his own climax as he came inside you, staying inside you even after he was done.

Content with knowing that you’ll be his forever.

As long as he doesn’t fuck up again...

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to join the taglist.

I guess that was cheating because the face sitting was just a small part of it😅😅 But I hope you still liked it! Comments and reblogs are really appreciated💖💖 I'll try to write one more part with jealous endgame!Steve.

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

#steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #kinktober #marvel kinktober

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bloobeary · 3 years

Text

The hallway light is off when he gets home, but the one over the stove was on. Bucky knows that Steve did it on purpose so that Bucky wouldn’t have to stumble around inside in the middle of the night. It makes his heart stutter in his chest no matter how many times he sees it. So sweet, that guy of his. He’ll buy Steve some flowers, and make him breakfast and kiss him stupid tomorrow.

He toes off his boots at the door, and sets his bag down on the couch, that way it won’t make as much noise. There’s a few hours of night left before the sun starts to come up, a few hours before Steve peels himself out of bed and heads out for a run.

He’s asleep now, Bucky notices from where he creeps in through the bedroom door, arms around Bucky’s pillow, sheets around his hips. He’s even wearing one of Bucky’s old t-shirts, one that he’s sure he tossed in the hamper before he left. His mouth is a little open, and his hair is going every which way, and Bucky loves him so much it hurts to breathe.

He’s not around enough-- he knows this. Not that it’s on purpose, or Steve would ever hold it against him, but Bucky knows he misses him when he’s gone, just like Bucky misses Steve when he’s gone, too. But Steve gets all quiet and sad about it, mopes around like a droopy flower until Bucky gets home and refuses to admit that it’s hard on him. Usually, it doesn’t take much more than Bucky gluing himself to Steve like a burr to a sock for his smile to reach his eyes again, but Bucky’s not stupid. Plus, Natasha tattles.

Steve goes on ops just as much, ex-Captain America doesn’t get sidelined just because he changed uniforms, so Bucky doesn’t sleep much when Steve’s not around. He sits in bed staring at the ceiling until he can’t take it anymore. Things get fixed when Steve’s gone. Not that any of them are the ones that need to be fixed, but Bucky just needs something to do with his hands. He wonders if Natasha tells on him, too. They’re real pieces of work, two peas in one fucked up pod. They’re figuring it out.

The truth is they work too much, both of them. In and out of the house like it’ll hold them hostage if they stay for too long. Retirement comes up every so often, but even though Steve doesn’t carry the shield anymore, and Bucky’s not the Winter Soldier, they never get around to it. They’ve got too much time coiled in their bones to sit still, he thinks.

Really, Bucky doesn’t trust himself to ever leave if he gets used to being around Steve all the time. It’s hard enough leaving after they’ve got one day off together, Bucky can’t figure what it’d be like to take any actual amount of time off. After the helicarriers and everything else, Steve grabbed Bucky by the shoulders and said dont ever disappear on me again. Bucky shares the feeling. He thinks if they were to retire, officially and on paper, he’d never let Steve out of his sight again. That such a bad thing? He hears it in Steve’s voice, though he’ll never say it, not like that at least.

Bucky undresses quickly, quietly, on his side of the bed, back to the window so he can watch Steve sleep, make sure he doesn’t wake him up. He should shower, really--there’s dried sweat and what feels like a layer of grime caked onto his skin, even though he washed off the dried blood somewhat unceremoniously before debrief and he stinks. He should shower, but that would add ten minutes between him and Steve. It’s a selfish, unhygienic thought, but one he has anyways.

Steve takes a deep breath and stirs a little, and Bucky goes still, holds his breath until he settles again, face tucked into the pillow. Bucky’s heart feels too big for his body, then, and he decides that a shower can wait. He’ll change the sheets the next morning, as penance.

He crawls into his side of the bed, and wraps his arms around Steve’s middle, tucking his face into the rise of his neck and taking a breath. He smells clean and warm and a little like lavender--something about some fancy lotion he bought recently, his brain supplies-- he smells like home.

Bucky hopes a little distractedly that Steve will wake up on his own. He wants a kiss or a thousand and his heart yearns for Steve’s smile, but he also knows that once Steve’s up, he’s up. Bucky’s been jealous of him forever. How the hell can you get out of bed at three in the morning and be ready to go without so much as a cup of coffee? Standing there all chipper, eyes a little tired but bright nonetheless while the rest of the Howlies scraped themselves off the dirt trying to find some sort of energy. He could blame the serum, but the truth is he’s always been like that, even when he was too sick to stand. It’s absurd, is what it is. Bucky takes a breath and presses his lips to the back of Steve’s shoulder.

Steve doesn’t wake up quite, but he does lean back against Bucky’s chest, warm. It’s not a kiss, but it’ll do.

Not such a bad thing at all.

“Buck?” Steve asks sleepily, a few hours later, once the sun is filtering in through the blinds. He yawns and stretches a little. Bucky doesn’t even have to look at the clock to know that it's six-thirty on the dot. “When’d you come home?”

“Few hours ago.” He mumbles, and he feels Steve turn in his arms, and put a hand on his chest right over his heart. Bucky opens his eyes. The fine smatter of freckles over Steve’s nose greet him, and he can’t help but smile. “I love you,” He says, sincere, and Steve smiles, finally. Nearly a century’s worth of hearing it, and it still makes him blush. Some primal part of Bucky's ego swells with that. If he were anywhere near half awake he's probably puff his chest out like a fucking rooster or something equally stupid.

“Aw hell,” He says, laughing a little at himself before leaning forward to give Bucky a quick kiss. “I missed you. You okay?”

Bucky nods and holds Steve tighter, closer. “You gonna go run?”

Steve thinks about it, at least he pretends to. “No,” Steve says finally, simple as that. Bucky kisses him again.

Bucky could sleep another ten hours, and Steve’s liable to let him, even if he himself won’t. Steve puts a hand in Bucky’s hair and scratches at his scalp softly; it feels good, but Bucky makes a face, cause it’s dirty and greasy, and he really needs that shower. “What?”

Bucky shrugs. “I need a shower.” He says but makes no move to get up. “I stink.”

“You don’t.”

“Liar,” Bucky says, and then has to yawn right through it. “Don’t let me keep you if you got things to do.” He mumbles, resting his head against Steve’s collarbone.

It's mostly just so Steve doesn’t think he has to waste his day next to his exhausted and frankly quite dirty boyfriend. Not that said boyfriend will complain about lazing in bed all day next to him. In fact, that’s at the top of his things to do today list. He’s so warm and soft and right there. Bucky slides his hands up under Steve’s shirt, pressing them against his back. Bucky feels like he’s made of silly putty.

“Ain’t a damn thing in the world that’s more important than you,” Steve says, says it in the way he gets sometimes, all serious like he’s under oath or something. Bucky bites him and then kisses right over it.

“We work too much,” Bucky mumbles, feeling himself fall back into that syrupy sleep state. His hand is still in Bucky’s hair. He yawns again, and Steve smiles, kisses his nose. “Should take a vacation.”

“Should retire.” Steve one-ups him.

It’s a joke, kind of. Only it’s not.

“Yeah, we should,” Bucky says. He means it. He means it this time. “Sit on the porch and read the newspaper, and then fuck like married people at the end of the day,” Bucky says, and Steve laughs. He yawns again, and Steve says something, maybe, but he doesn’t quite catch it.

“Did you mean it?” Steve asks later, much later, when the sun’s going down again and they’ve both showered. He’s sitting on the opposite end of the couch, holding a cooling mug of tea in one hand, sketchbook open but untouched on his lap.

“Mean what?” Bucky asks, looking up from his phone. He pokes his socked foot into Steve’s hip when he doesn’t get an answer. “Hey,” He says, frowning a little. Steve won’t look at him, embarrassed for whatever reason. “Come here.” He asks, and Steve dutifully sets his cup down and snaps his sketchbook closed before scooching over to sit near Bucky. He throws an arm around his shoulders and manhandles him around, a little so that he’s sitting up against Bucky’s chest.

“Mean what, baby?” Bucky asks again.

Steve shrugs, and then sighs. He turns to look at him. “That we should retire.”

Bucky blinks and then thinks about it. He could do without shipping out every couple of days, he’s getting old, after all. They both are, technically, but Steve wears it better. Probably because he did all his sleeping in one go. Even then, Bucky’s a year older, so he has well earned the right to complain, thank you very much.

“Yeah.” He says, and it surprises both of them. Steve turns to look at him, eyes wide, mouth half caught on a smile like he’s not sure he should yet. “You?”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I think… I think I did.” He says, and then a smile curls onto his face. Bucky laughs at him, for good measure, and Steve kisses him. “I miss you, you know.”

“Aw, babe,” Bucky teases, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder and hugging him close.

“Oh, Lord.” Steve chuckles and tries to squirm away, but it’s half-hearted, and Bucky’s got too good of a grip on him for it to work. “You miss me?”

“Course I fucking miss you,” Bucky says, honest, and Steve surprises him by grabbing him by the chin and kissing him. The angle is a little weird, but it doesn’t matter.

“So what now, huh?” Steve asks, and Bucky shrugs.

“Sit on the porch,” Bucky suggests, and Steve snorts.

“We ain’t got a porch.”

“I’ll get you a house with a porch that wraps all the way around it, like in that movie you made me watch,” Bucky says, and Steve laughs.

“The Notebook?”

“Sure.” Bucky says, not sure himself of the name but he does know that the end made him get a little teary-eyed, and Steve full-on cried, like snot-bubble cried, and they didn't let go of each other for the rest of the day. Not a very comedic romantic comedy.

“Yeah, and what else?" Steve asks, still half-joking. "Could we get a dog?"

Bucky thinks about it, thinks about how somewhere in the middle of Europe they found a stray litter of puppies, how Steve carried three of them zipped in the front of his jacket until they found the nearest inhabited town, how he tried to hide how upset he really was when they had to leave. Bucky takes a good long look at him, how there's still a light dusting of blush on his cheeks, and puts a hand on his face.

“Whatever you want, doll.” Bucky says, and he means it.

#something short and sweet #stucky #fic #canon? i barely know her #drabble #stevebucky #you can read her on ao3 too

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curious-menace · 3 years

Text

Riddler hug/cuddling Headcanons

so like. no excuse for this, its pure self indulgence but tbh id kinda like a hug so im imagining how these nerds might give me one.

warning, i got very carried away with writing.

Arkham !Riddler

oh boy arkham riddler REALLY needs a hug. he is probably the most touch starved of all the riddlers, definitely the most clingy. he is too afraid of being hurt, physically or emotionally, to be the one to initiate the hug and if you come to him he will absolutely fight it. at the start anyway.

he’s going to cry if you give him a decent hug. he’s been so high strung for so long that a simple touch like that is going to send him overboard.

it starts off with him a stiff as a board, tense incase he needs to run away. but once he realises you wont hurt him he’ll start to relax a little, he usually crosses his arms across your back, under your arms rather than over. he also likes to rest his head in the crook of your neck.

like i said, he’ll probably cry at some point, so he becomes tense again as his shoulders shake, he starts to dig his hands into your back for fear you’ll let go. he keeps burying his head into your neck/shoulder so you cant see how red his face and eyes have gotten. he’s embarrassed to be like this over a hug, especially around you.

after that he will always be in your space. he’ll want to lie across you on the sofa, sit in his lap/ him sit in your lap while he works on his computer and he literally cannot sleep at night unless you have at least one arm draped across his back ( but preferably let him curl up in your arms completely )

he’s quite boney tbh. when you hug him you can feel his ribs and spine, he really likes to press his entire body to yours. He also hugs quite hard so don't be surprised if you lose your balance when he runs to you.

Blacklight! Riddler

blacklight riddler used to be like arkham riddler, he was touch starved and desperate for affection. But unlike arkham riddler, he actually receives hugs on a regular basis.

He’s around 5ft8 so he is a great height for giving and receiving hugs. if you are smaller than him he likes to rest his head on top of your head , maybe give optional head smooches while hes at it. if you're taller than him he likes to press his face into your chest/neck, especially if this is a comforting hug. Your scent is calming to him

he hugs kinda weird. its always one arm over your shoulder and one under your arm. He also likes to sneak up on you, rest his chin on your shoulder while he’s hugging you. strange but at least they're warm and soft.

i've mentioned before he likes to sleep in people's laps, but he enjoys being big spoon just as much as little spoon. he likes having people sit between his legs but he is very fidgety, don't expect it to last for long.

he’s not clingy persay, but he does love sharing space with people. hes a “give them an inch and they’ll take a mile” kind of person when it comes to personal space.

the only time he doesn't like hugs (rare as that is) is when he’s having a meltdown/implosion. SOMETIMES he likes deep pressure to calm himself but it should really come from something like a T-jacket or a weighted blanket. if you touch him when he’s like that it’ll just stress him out more. just use your words and give him some space. Later, when hes calm or if he’s feeling embarrassed about having a meltdown/implosion somewhere people can see him, that's the time he’ll want comfort.

BTAS! Riddler

this riddler is a bit touch adversed. he usually tolerates hugs in a social setting but just about. other people touching him, particularly people he doesn't know well , sets his teeth on edge.

its different with people he knows, however. he’s very casual with his hugs, and very happy to have You in his personal bubble. even if its just tossing an arm around your waist or shoulder as you walk, its nice to be near a comforting presence like you are to him. he’s fond of hugs that don't close you both in, even though he can usually see over the top of you, it makes him feel claustrophobic

hes pretty tall, you’d be hard pressed to be level with him so he usually hugs by putting his arms around your shoulders, maybe crossing his wrists at the back of your neck. as he is so tall, most peoples hugs on him will probably be around the waist. don't be surprised if he bends down to give you a quick peck or head bump while you're hugging him.

Its sometimes hard for him to spoon given he is quite tall, but he doesn't really mind what position you maneuver into to give him cuddles. he likes to rest against people while sitting on a sofa or lie with his head on your shoulder in bed

He gives good comforting hugs, he’s naturally very warm both in personality and temperature . lots of “oh darling dry those eyes” or “there there my love” with head pats and soft cooing . he wont even complain if you mess up his suit by balling your hands in the fabric or crying all over his sleeves. and he REALLY likes his suits.

can be a little patronising with the head pats but honestly, he is a gentle giant type guy, he doesn't mean to be rude, everyone is just so small compared to him he cant help but treat them like kids sometimes.

Original!Riddler

another tall lad, but he’s like one of those big dogs who doesn't know he’s big. He is friend shaped, gives excellent hugs that are very warm and all encompassing. you would feel very safe getting a hug from this riddler

the only danger is being squished a little. sometimes he doesn't quite know his own strength when it comes to hugs.he’s particularly bad at this while cuddling in bed. if he’s half asleep and you try to move away, he might reflexively latch on and inadvertently hurt you in the process. the utter horror of thinking he’s hurt you is enough to make him not want to be near you for a few days while he apologises profusely .

he is very lanky, his hugs can wrap all the way around you until his arms are nearly touching him on the other side. only a small risk of being suffocated.

he likes it when his partner jumps for him, into a hug so he can catch them and spin them in his arms. no idea why, guess he’s just a dramatic dance kid at heart. he also prefers to be little spoon with a special fondness for partners who completely wrap themselves around him like a warm, scenintient backpack

likes lying under a blanket on the sofa, his face pressed into your tummy with his arms around your back. you can use him as a table if you like, he wont mind. His back is always sore ( probably because he lies like this a lot) so he appreciates back rubs while hugging .

mooves around in his sleep too much to be constrained by cuddling. if you try and hold onto him it’ll either be like riding a bucking bull or trying to get out of quicksand, no inbetween. he sleeps like a dead man too so good luck waking him if you’re uncomfortable.

telltale! Riddler

hugs are few and far between. doesnt hug much, even at home. He likes to use hugs to show off or rather, show you off. he likes having some one pretty on his arm for casual, public cuddling as a power move.

has occasional nightmares about what SANTUS did to him and as a side effect of the LOTUS. this is one of the rare times he’ll tolerate and even expect to be held and cuddled by you. he needs something like the pressure from a good ,long hug to ground him back in reality, in the here and now.

in public he’s most likely to throw his arm around your waist or shoulder, quite possessive if i'm honest. he can be a little rough at times, gripping your shoulder or waist a little too hard when someone is pissing him off or making a move on you. he has left bruises but its never intentional. he’s a lot stronger than the average man and sometimes he forgets that.

in private he’s a little more relaxed. sometime he just likes to share space, like having your legs over him on the sofa. sometimes hes more demanding and wants you to sit in his lap with your arms draped over him.

He demands a lot of you, but never physical contact. if he wanted a hug he would simply stand and wait for you to initiate it. likewise, he’ll always ask for your permission before he comes into your space.

He likes to hug from behind and often picks you up off the ground, whatever way he’s hugging you. He likes to show off how strong he is despite being one of the shorter riddlers.

Zero year!Riddler

his idea of cuddling is resting a body part on you. he might stretch his legs over yours, intertwine them while sleeping or use you as a pillow while he reads. Hes not great at being big spoon tbh; if you want him to do much more than just chilling there and letting you do the work, youll need to tell him.

like btas riddler, he’s a human furnace. he just radiates heat all times of the year. good for warming up in the winter, bad for not sticking to one another in the summer. He’s basically a big cat. cuddles on his terms, paws at you when he wants something and pushes you away when he doesn't.

thinks he’s a smooth mfer when it comes to cuddling and spooning. has 100% done that old yawn, stretch and slide an arm around you thing that all teenagers think is the height of sophisticated moves. it only works sometimes though, more often than not he’ll simply huff and drag you towards him from the other side of the bed or sofa and demand hugs.

hes another tall riddler. he likes to use his height to his advantage by hugging you around your head so you cant escape. he also likes to have a hand on your head and one on your shoulder, sort of like he’s shielding you from something. it can be nice but sometimes, you do need to see where you're going.

he likes to press his face into your chest/breasts just for badness. he has large hands so he can almost wrap them around your sides and back at the same time for maximum squish. he doesn't often press his entire body into you while you hug but when he does, oh boy i hope you don't have plans. you wont be leaving for a while.

he likes to cuddle in weird places. like you might be riding the subway and he’ll sneakily link his arm with yours and rest his head on your shoulder. maybe you're eating dinner and he’s trying to twist your legs together with his. maybe you're minding your own business on the sofa, he’ll try to slip between you and the cushions so you're practically sitting on him instead.

OH BOY THIS TOOK MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT. WOOPS THERE GOES THE ENTIRE DAY.

lmao i had fun so i guess it was time well spent.

got anymore headcanons you want to talk about? wana ask me something specific about riddler? hmu with an ask, im always happy to talk about our favorite curious menace💜💚

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strawberrynamjoon · 4 years

Text

wine bottles & pizza boxes

– genre: delivery boy!namjoon & lovesick!reader

– word count: 17k

– summary: while desperately trying to get over your heartbreak the cute new delivery boy made it to his personal mission to make you smile whenever you were drunk and lonely. luckily, your mutual friend hoseok was more than willing to set the two of you up.

or: namjoon fell in love with you, no matter if you had a pretty dress on or a wine bottle in your hand and a puzzle piece in your hair.

– warnings: reader gets drunk a lot and is kinda an emotional mess lol, humour and crack, sope being couple of the year, whipped namjoon, kinda slow burn

– note: i finally finished this wip of mine and i hope you guys like it as much as i do. like always, this is not proofread yet, i’ll get to it soon! <3

If anyone were to see you right now, you were sure they would think you’re a complete mess, almost pathetic even and, to be quite honest, they wouldn't be wrong.

The way you were spread out on your couch, not having moved for hours, in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants, sipping the cheapest wine you could find straight out of the bottle while rewatching Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time truly wasn’t your proudest moment.

But you felt hurt and you convinced yourself that bathing in some self-pity was the only possible solution for you to get over this stupid, aching heartbreak. If any of your friends would see you like this they would surely disagree with your chosen method but you couldn’t care less. They say time heals all the wounds but for now, wine would have to do the job.

Checking your phone for how much longer your pizza will take to arrive, you noticed a text from your best friend, once again begging you to pay attention to him.

[ Yoongi: It’s been a month since he ghosted you, stop being a crybaby and come to Guk’s party tonight. I’ll even pick you up. ]

A mocking scoff escaped your lips, rolling your eyes way back into your skull. As much as you loved him, you just felt the need to be dramatic in peace – and knowing Yoongi he would never let that happen.

Deciding to leave him on read for now, you heard the doorbell ring and the excitement rushing over you was almost embarrassing, considering the fact that your pizza arriving probably would be the highlight of your whole week.

Instantly regretting checking yourself in the mirror when you realized just how terrible you looked like you tried not to think about it too much, Antonio wouldn’t care either way. You looked disgusting in the truest definition of the word – your messy bun was an actual mess, not in the cute Instagram-model-kinda-way, no. There were big strands of hair falling out of it in the back and it floppily laid on the side of your head instead of the top. Your face was swollen from the crying and the alcohol and there were three fat, red pimples growing on your cheeks.

Luckily, you and Antonio, your standard delivery guy, by now were over having to impress each other. He has seen you in that state more often than your actual friends at this point and he didn’t have to act all nice in front of you anymore, your nagging banter the only social interactions you sometimes had for weeks. Thinking about it for a second it was almost pitiful that your closest friend was a man in his mid fifties who was supplying you with greasy food but you didn’t care, at least Antonio would never ghost you out of nowhere.

More relationships should be like yours and Antonios: Both of you did not annoy the other one, just exchanged a polite smile and some snarky comments every now and then and that was it.

Opening the door, you felt a genuine smile on your face, excited for the pizza you were about to eat, “Antonio, I was never happier to see –”

But before you could end your sentence you were surprised by a new face, a more handsome and younger face than Antonio’s wide and round face and grey hair. The young man in front of you had glowing, tan skin, plump lips and was not only tall but also equally broad.

Looking at such a handsome man your own age, you became awfully aware of how you looked right now, feeling terribly hideous.

“You’re not Antonio,” the disappointment in your voice was hard to go miss.

The man in front of you started to chuckle and you were met with two deep and extraordinary cute dimples that made him look much nicer. Before you saw them he seemed kind of intimidating but as soon as he smiled there was not a single intimidating thing left about him.

“Believe it or not, I’m very well aware of that,” his deep voice sent shivers down your spine, “I’m Namjoon. And I’m very sorry to disappoint you, but at least I still have the pizza you ordered.”

He pointed to the pizza box on the ground and you just wanted him to leave as soon as possible, not wanting him to have to look at the misery you were for any second longer.

“Well, you’re just as good as Antonio then,” you stated, flashing him a bright smile.

“If that’s all it takes to make you happy your boyfriend must be living a happy life,” he mumbled under his breath without looking at you as he got the pizza box out of his carrier. His standards must be very low if he was flirting with you even in your current state but at least he managed to boost your self esteem a little bit.

You already pictured the little scenarios coming into your mind with the man you just met a few seconds ago and you hated yourself for how easy it is for you to fall in love with a complete stranger. But if all it took to distract yourself from the heartbreak you were going through was a handsome pizza delivery guy you would most definitely take that.

Handing you the box he gave you yet another one of those dimpled smiles and you wished you could take a picture of it, “I hope you can still enjoy it even if Antonio is gone now.”

Now you furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean he’s gone? Like, forever? I assumed he just has a day off.”

“Oh no, he actually got fired,” he answered with a shrug.

“Wow first I got ghosted and now Antonio left me too, I thought at least he would stay,” a playful pout formed on your lips.

The delivery boy, or Namjoon as he introduced himself to you, seemed to be amused by your dramatic acting, joining in immediately, “He has a wife and children. You should’ve known better than to get attached.”

With a smile on your lips, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “I know but he always brought me free sauce even though I didn’t order it and I just fell in love with his kind actions.”

“That’s absolutely against the policy,” Namjoon stated amused, “and probably the reason he got fired.”

The smile was still sitting on your lips as you nodded to him, ready to go back inside, “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Namjoon asked with a confused expression on his face, wondering what exactly would happen tomorrow.

“Yes, tomorrow,” you simply stated without any further explanation as you shut your door and walked back to the living room.

You immediately smiled as you replayed the previous encounter in your head. He didn’t even really flirt with you but just the fact that a good looking man stood in front of your door was enough to make you smitten at this point. God, Yoongi was right, you truly were lonely.

Just as you were thinking of the devil your phone vibrated, his name on the screen as he was calling you.

“Whats up? You’re crying or what?” you heard your closest friend on the other line of the phone. To others, the way you and Yoongi talked to each other might seem a bit harsh or cold but in reality, you were as close as two people could be even though none of you would ever admit it out loud.

“I fell in love,” you started and immediately got interrupted.

“I already pity the new man. Who is he?” Yoongi asked, the surroundings loud and you were sure he was on the way to a party.

“You’ll only make fun of me if I tell you,” you pouted, knowing the teasing will never stop if you tell your best friend about your newest crush.

“Me? Making fun of you? Never!” the sarcasm in his voice was thick and you could hear his stupid grin through the phone.

“It’s the delivery guy,” you tried to sound as unbothered as possible but because Yoongi knew you like the back of his hand it was pointless.

“(Y/n) –” he started, taking in a deep breath, “I know you’re lonely but Antonio? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

You laughed, realizing that maybe you should’ve stated your words differently, “Antonio got replaced by a handsome, tall guy. don’t worry, I am not that desperate yet.”

“What do you mean Antonio got replaced? Does this mean we actually have to buy the dip now whenever we order?” Yoongi seemed to be genuinely upset about the fact that he might pay a buck more from now on.

“I’m afraid we have to but at least we can look at a cute buy and talk about how cute he is whenever we do order,” you joked.

“I don’t think we should do that in front of Hoseok, he’s crazy and might kill the delivery guy if he hears me talking about a cute guy,” Yoongi chuckled like he always did when he talked about Hoseok and you rolled your eyes, those goddamn couples all around you making you feel awfully single, “Anyway, we’re celebrating at our place on saturday, you have to come. No excuses accepted, I don’t care if you cry in the bathroom because you’re a sad bitch, you’re still coming.”

“Great, I’ll hate it,” you let out a sigh before hanging up.

Despite threatening your best friend that you’d rather kill yourself than attend a party in your current emotional state, you somehow still found yourself at Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s dorm, getting drunk at their stupid party. You should have known better, in the end he always annoys you until you gave in, it would’ve spared you a lot of discussions.

“Hey Hoseok,” you greeted tonight’s host and good friend with a hug and he gave you a low whistle as he saw you all dressed up. Hoseok was, next to Yoongi, one of the people you could always depend on. When Yoongi introduced his boyfriend to you many years ago you first weren’t sure if their relationship had a real chance since Hoseok seemed to be the complete opposite of Yoongi but by now it was almost impossible to imagine one without the other.

“I didn’t think that I would see you here,” he gave you an appreciating and welcoming smile and you immediately felt at home – Hoseok had this power, always making you feel comfortable, “We missed you. Yoongi wouldn’t admit it, but he did too.”

And so did you – you were aware that ghosting the majority of your friends wasn’t the nicest thing you could’ve done but you were feeling blue, not wanting to talk to anyone else than your neighbor’s cat and the moon.

A small apologetic pout formed on your lips, “Missed you too. I promise I’ll come around more often again.”

On your way to the living room, you studied the people around you – most of them you knew but a few of them you never saw before. It still amazes you how, even after several years of being friends, you still didn’t know all of Hoseok’s friends. This man was like a puppy on the loose, making friends and fans everywhere he’d go.

A few people were busy playing beer pong, Jeongguk and Taehyung had the most concentrated expression you had ever seen on their faces and you wished they would’ve taken your many group projects back in college as serious as this match. Another few familiar faces were chatting and smoking in the kitchen, all of them sitting on the ground. Yoongi sat right in front of the fridge that was probably filled with nothing but a few beers, knowing that’s the typical lifestyle Yoongi and Hoseok had going on.

One could argue that after graduating and finding real jobs their need to party every weekend would vanish but no, they still were the exact same.

You felt a bit lost, not knowing where to go. As you arrived the party was already in full swing, everyone had their spot and you felt almost left out for a second, wondering who you should hold onto for the night.

After grabbing a bottle of cheap champagne from the kitchen, you decided to check out the living room – much to your luck, you found an empty space between Hoseok and Jimin on the couch, gladly getting comfortable between the two friends who were currently discussing which Team would win.

“It’ll be Jeongguk’s for sure,” you threw your thoughts into the conversation, “Come on, it’s Jeongguk. He never loses, we all know that.”

Jimin nodded his head eagerly, agreeing with you, “That’s what I am saying too! It’s two versus one now.”

Hoseok, who didn’t even look at you because he was so invested in watching Taehyung’s every move shook his head, “Tae trained a lot and got so good at it. I think he might stand a chance.”

Just as you clinked your cups with Jimin, ready to get tipsy, Jeongguk noticed you and his smile went wide, reaching his eyes.

“(Y/N),” he shouted over the music from the corner of the living room, “Join us. We’re missing one team member anyways.”

“I hate beer,” you yelled back, “I’d rather die than drink this cold piss.”

He rolled his eyes, not taking a no as an answer. “I’ll drink it for you, I just need someone who actually can aim, unlike this idiot here,” his voice was frustrated while pointing to Seokjn.

“Respect your elders,” Seokjin started scolding as he was aiming to throw the ball in his hand - and then, just like expected, he missed the cup completely.

“See, please, you have to save us,” Jeongguk came over to you, extending his hand to help you up from the couch and you decided to join him before he and Seokjin would start fighting. It’s been quite some time since you played beer pong with your friends but back then, you always did quite a decent job at it.

Before it was your turn, Jeongguk and Taehyung both scored another goal, gulping down their cups within seconds. There were four full cups of beer left in front of you and you prayed that you wouldn’t have to drink one of them. Why couldn’t they play this stupid game with something that actually tasted alright?

Glancing up, ready to shoot your shot your breath stopped for a second as you saw your opponent – Taehyung just recruited a new member for his team from the kitchen because he claimed that if Jeongguk could add a player midgame so could he. But you didn’t expect to be the new member of his team someone you’ve seen before, in a different situation.

“Pizza girl,” Namjoon exclaimed amused, his dimples seemed to be even deeper than you remembered them and he seemed to be pretty tipsy already judging by his pronunciation, “you look different.”

His relaxed aura immediately made you relax too, not even questioning for a second as to where in the world he knew Yoongi and/or Hoseok from. You did make a mental note to check with your friends about that later though.

“The power of make-up and a shower,” you shrug while throwing your ball and – the ball landed right inside of it, Namjoon chuckling as he gave you a thumbs up.

Jeongguk gave you a high five and ruffled your hair a bit, something he always did when he got drunk. Quite funny to compare this Jeongguk with the shy boy you met in the beginning of college but you were happy that he opened up to all of your friends and became a part of your group.

“Where do you know each other from?” Taehyung asked Namjoon, curiousity sparkling in his eyes.

“He stole Antonio’s job,” you sighed dramatically before Namjoon could answer, still not over your favorite delivery man being gone forever.

Taehyung playfully shook his head in disappointment, “You stole his job? not cool, man. Antonio was like our hero in bad, hungry times.”

“Always made sure we’re not starving,” Jeongguk joined the conversation.

“Also, he was kind of sexy, not going to lie,” Jimin joked from the couch, making you laugh a bit and Hoseok gag.

Namjoon threw his hands into the air as if he’s giving up a fight he didn’t even participate in. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sounded defeated, playing along with your shenanigans, “I understand I’ll never be him but I’m trying my best.”

Just in that moment Yoongi walked into the living room. His arm wrapping around your shoulder, the unexpected touch instantly letting you know that he was drunk because otherwise, he wouldn’t put his arm around you. Not that you minded, it was just something unusual for Yoongi.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, confusion written all over his face, “Who is Namjoon trying to compete with?”

“Apparently he took over Antonio's job,” Hoseok informed his boyfriend amused, “And now we’re mourning over the loss of our beloved Antonio.”

Yoongi knew that Namjoon just started a new job as a delivery guy and he also heard that Antonio got fired before, wondering where he knew that from. As he studied your face, you could see his brain working, putting one and one together.

He knew about Antonio from you. The memory of your conversation came back to his slightly intoxicated mind – you told him about Antonio being fired, but more importantly, you told him about your newest addition to the many men that you crushed on. No one else than the man who replaced Antonio. Which also meant, no one else than Namjoon.

His eyes widened and stared a hole into your soul. After being friends for so many years you two mastered the art of communicating with nothing but glances and his current face was asking you if you were actually talking about his friend on the phone a few days ago.

As you wondered where Yoongi knew that guy from and how in the world you never met him before, not even heard his name, you gave him a small, embarrassed nod followed by a slightly pleading glance back, begging him not to tell anyone.

You could tell he was trying not to burst out into laughter at the situation – of course, out of all the people in the world it had to be someone he knew. But at least he gave you an approving smile afterwards, almost as if to give you his blessing, something very rare. Most of the time Yoongi wasn’t a big fan of your crushes, not only because he knew you fell in love with a different stranger every other week but also because, in his opinion, you had a terrible taste when it came to men.

“Guys, (y/n) and Yoongi are doing their weird talking without talking thing again,” Jeongguk’s voice almost sounded annoyed, scrunching his nose a bit.

For a second you didn’t realize the tall figure that came over to you and Yoongi, his hands buried in the kangaroo pocket of his grey oversized hoodie in which you’d look very adorable, just saying.

Namjoon startled you a bit and you tried not to choke on your own spit as you noticed him.

“(Y/N), huh? Nice to meet you again, officially this time,” he gave you a soft smile and you felt pathetic for wanting to stare at him smiling forever, wondering how many girls were in love with him you bet he could have almost every girl looking like that.

Flashing him a cheeky smile, you nodded, “Nice to meet you too again, officially. I had no idea you know my friends.”

Hoseok stood up from the couch and interrupted the two of you, teasing you a bit, “Better get used to her. She doesn’t know how to cook, you’ll see her daily from now on.”

Scoffing, Yoongi shook his head, “Honestly, Namjoon might be an even worse cook than she is.”

Namjoon chuckled and in your mind you already knew once you were drunk enough and gathered enough confidence you had to poke your fingers in them.

“I have your number on speed dial,” you joked, a grin on your face.

“Living the unhealthy lifestyle I see,” Namjoon answered amused, “I can identify myself with that.”

Before you could continue talking to Namjoon, Jeongguk grew impatient beside you. He almost pouted while he dragged you back to the table, “We have a match to win, get your head in the game.”

And about twenty minutes later, you, Seokjin and Jeongguk were loudly celebrating victory with high-fives and hugs while Taehyung’s team was mourning over their loss.

“Next round!” Jeongguk annouced solemnly, “That is if you can handle another loss, Taehyung?”

Taehyung scoffed between his laughter, “I’ll crush you, Jeon Jeongguk, you just wait.”

“Your team has no chance against us,” Jeongguk laughed while refilling the empty cups with beer.

“You have to do without (y/n) though,” Hoseok announced from his space from the couch, “We have to snatch her away for a bit.”

Apologizing to a grumpy Jeongguk, you made your way to your two favorite people in the world, sitting down right beside Yoongi and Hoseok.

The shit-eating grin on both of their faces already gave them away and you knew exactly why they wanted to talk to you. Hoseok handed you a drink and you took it, knowing that you needed a bit more alcohol in your system for the upcoming teasing.

“So, you have your eyes on Namjoon I heard,” Hoseok giggled joyfully.

Glaring at Yoongi, you rolled your eyes, “I wonder who told you about that.”

Yoongi shrugged, with the same grin plastered on his face, “He’s a good guy, I know it doesn’t matter because you’re emotionally unable to have a real relationship but I would still support it.”

Hoseok hit Yoongi’s chest lightly, almost as if he was telling him not to be too mean to you even though everyone knew that you’d never talk without thick sarcasm to each other. Turning back to you, he raised his eyebrow before proposing, “I could easily set you up. I already have a plan in my head.”

You shook your head heavily, a short laugh escaping from you, “No, don’t worry. I don’t even know him, let me talk to him in peace first. I might come back to it though.”

Hoseok was known to be the matchmaker of your group – by now he must have tried to set up almost everyone of his friends with a pretty good success rate. But you prefered to take things into your own hands and he always respected that.

“So, are you over Jay?” Yoongi asked in a careful and caring tone, knowing it was still a sensitive topic.

And for a second the question caught you off guard. You weren’t over him yet, no, but you were at least wanting to get over it. That was at least something, right?

“Not really yet,” letting out a deep sigh, you pressed your lips together a bit, “I’m working on it I guess.”

His eyes narrowed a bit as he was trying to figure out how you actually were doing, “And with that you mean you’re actually working on it or do you mean you’re getting drunk and eat too much junk food all the time?”

Despite you being reminded about your heartbreak you managed to crack a smile, “I don’t see any difference in those methods.”

“Namjoon,” before Yoongi could scold you, Hoseok suddenly started yelling, “Come over here for a second, will you?”

Panicking, your eyes widened, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”

He gave you an amused glance, “God’s work.”

And within seconds, Namjoon was standing right in front of you, “Hi guys, what’s up?”

Hoseok gestured for him to sit down next to you on the small space left on the couch and he did as he was told, “Since you’re our pizza expert from now on we need you to help us resolve a burning question we have been discussing about for forever.”

Laughing, Namjoon’s attention was fully diverted to the three of you, “I wouldn’t call myself a pizza expert but I hope I can mediate.”

You rubbed your forehead, knowing exactly what Hoseok was on about, “Hoseok, don’t make him go through –“

He shushed you lovingly before you could finish, “Our little (y/n) right here claims that pineapple pizza is ordered as often as the classics just like peperoni pizza or ham pizza. And I say that’s bullshit. Pineapple pizza is not as popular as the classics, right?”

“To my defence,” you started, turning to Namjoon to tell him your point of view, “I never said that it deserves to be a classic. But I do believe that there’s a reason for the whole pineapple on pizza discussion and I think that reason is that a lot more people than you’d think actually enjoy it and they started fighting for pineapple on pizza rights.”

Yoongi was rubbing his temple in frustration, butting in, “They have fighting about this for two years now. Two whole years

Namjoon cackled at the heated discussion in front of him, before trying to put on a serious face, “Okay, I think I am the answer to your question. I definitely deliver as many pineapple pizzas as I deliver peperoni or ham pizzas. The only one that beats those three is a good old margherita.”

“HA! I told you so,” you teased Hoseok whose mouth stood wide open at the betrayal of his friend, “When will you learn that I am always right?”

Standing up, Hoseok chuckled while he shook his head in disbelief, “If you’d excuse me, I need a stronger drink to deal with this information.”

“You’re just a bad loser,” you yelled after him, celebrating your victory once again.

“Now I have to deal with his whiny ass, thank you very much,” Yoongi chuckled half-jokingly, half serious, “Good job, Namjoon. I better go after him.”

“I didn’t know that it was such a sensitive topic,” Namjoon laughed, almost feeling bad. You couldn’t help but notice how close he was sitting to you still. Yoongi and Hoseok for sure know how to set someone up even though you told them not to get involved, “Funny to see that Hobi is still bad at losing.”

“Hobi?” you asked curious, “I never heard someone calling him that before. Where does that come from?”

Namjoon was taking a sip of his drink before his eyes widened a bit, “I forgot that people don’t use that nickname for him anymore. We used to call him Hobi in middle school.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you’re a high school friend of his,” your face brightened, “Tell me what he was like in high school. I bet he was a handful.”

The boy beside you scrunched his face for a second and you made sure to save as much as you could to your mind, “He was just as happy and bright as today. We used to be super close but I left home when we went to college and yeah, now after graduating, I came back home.”

“Welcome back then,” you threw him a warm smile before holding up your cup, “Cheers to a new friend in the group.”

Both of you took a sip of your drink before Namjoon got a bit more comfortable on the couch, his back now resting against the pillows behind him and naturally manspreading a bit, enough to make you go insane inside.

Mirroring his actions, you leaned back too, tilting your body a bit towards his, body language making sure that no one got the idea to interrupt your conversation.

“How do you know Hobi?” Namjoon asked with curiousity in his eyes. It might be a thing he does with everyone but his attention seemed to be laying completely on you as you were talking, holding eye contact constantly.

“Yoongi and I have been best friends since our childhood and one day he introduced me to Hoseok with the words ‘This is my boyfriend. Oh, and also I’m bisexual’, I will never forget that,” you laughed, “Ever since then Hoseok and I became friends. He’s too good for Yoongi if you ask me.”

Namjoon seemed to be interested in whatever you were saying, even though you didn’t really say anything interesting. The two of you were talking about everything, your college degrees, he told you he is working as a delivery guy for now to take a break and next year he’ll start to work, you talked about the town and the people attending the party – it was easy talking to him but that might have been thanks to the alcohol.

The rest of the night was rather calm much to your liking, you spent some more time with Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon before you and Jeongguk decided to go home together because you lived in the same apartment complex.

You couldn’t help but think of Namjoon’s kind eyes all the way home, almost not listening to Jeongguk rambling about the boy was into (he wouldn’t say his name but all of your friends knew he was talking about Taehyung) because your mind was full of Hoseok’s best friend from high school.

Yoongi said that lately, you’ve been drinking alone a bit too often and you knew he was right – so once again, you were sitting on your couch but tonight, you didn’t feel half as sad as usually. The prosecco you were drinking made you feel giddy as you actually took care of yourself for once instead of crying your eyes out.

You almost felt good with the face mask sitting on your face for way longer than was recommended, your hair up in curlers as you were wearing your favorite pajama. The bedsheets you stole from your bedroom to cover you on the couch were freshly changed, your favorite playlist was blasting from the speakers and while cleaning earlier you found an old puzzle you were currently trying to finish.

And, on top of that, your favorite pizza was on its way, brought to you by no one else than the man that could possibly be the cure for your heartbreak.

You were surprised that you were in such a good mood. There were two possibilities: Either you were slowly going insane or you actually were getting better. Fingers crossed it was the second one.

As you were waiting for the pizza to arrive you finished the whole bottle of prosecco and you could feel the alcohol running through your veins when you got up after the door rang.

Taking step after step slowly, afraid you’d fall, you giggled to yourself. The way you were walking looked ridiculous, enough to make your drunk self laugh.

Opening the door, your smile grew as wide as it could when you saw Namjoon in front of you, his expression mirroring your own.

“Happy to see me?” he asked you, arching an eyebrow.

Nodding, you felt a hiccup coming up your throat, almost embarrassed when it came out but Namjoon’s chuckle told you that he found it rather cute.

“You always make my days better,” you sing-sang happily.

He was clearly amused by the state you were in, getting out the pizza for you, “Are you sure it’s me who makes them better or is it only the cause of my visits?”

You shrugged playfully, “It’s a mixture of both. But mainly, you’re right, it’s the greasy gift of god your visits are connected with.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second, staring at your hair before another amused chuckle escaped his lips, shaking his head amused, “There’s a puzzle piece in your hair.”

Before you could do it, his hand was in your hair, fiddling with it a bit to free the piece out of it. Handing it to you, he let out a laugh – and you already thought his small chuckles were cute but the laugh of this man was on yet another level.

“Once again, you’re my knight in shining amour,” you smirked, the playful banter just adding to your positive mood, “I was looking for that, I was already frustrated because I was missing one piece.”

Namjoon’s eyes grew wide, a bit surprised, “You’re actually puzzling?”

“Well, where do you think that piece came from?”

Somehow, you noticed, Namjoon always had a soft expression on his face, as if he was admiring everything around him. It would be a privilege to be the one who gets to wake up next to that face.

“You’ve got a point there,” he nodded, “I just haven’t seen anyone puzzling in probably fifteen years.”

“What a shame, you should try it,” you told him, “I promise it’s fun.”

“So, you’re alone, drunk and puzzling all by yourself?” Namjoon seemed to be amused, “I can’t tell if that is the saddest or cutest thing I’ve seen in a while.”

You raised your eyebrow while biting down your lip in order not to laugh at his attempt of flirting and he panicked as soon as he realized what he just said, mumbling fastly, “I mean, I definitely have to try it again. I will for sure soon. You got me hooked on the idea now.”

Now you couldn’t help it but let a small chuckle escape, nodding your head, “I surely still have a few old puzzles lying around here somewhere. Why don’t you just text me and I’ll tell you when I found them. I’ll hand them down to you.”

Namjoon’s hand was nervously playing with the nape of his hair on his neck and you made a note in your head that apparently drunk and sober Namjoon were two completely different people. “I don’t have your number though.”

Still chuckling, you took out your pizza out of the delivery box yourself because Namjoon seemed to be too starstruck to do so, “You do. It’s on the delivery note.”

Embarrassed, he now let out a laugh too, “Oh, you’re right. Well, I’ll definitely make use of that then.”

Nodding, you started to close the door, “I sure hope so. Have a quiet and relaxing night, Namjoon.”

“You too,” he managed to say before you closed the door, “Enjoy your pizza.”

You were a smiling mess as you made your way back to the living room where the intro of the next episode of Gilmore Girls was playing and the next bottle of prosecco was waiting for you.

In your head you were replaying the little encounter, getting your pizza out of the plastic bag it was in – only to see yet another thing that made your heart melt.

On top of the box were two dips, one of them had a little sticky note attached to it.

[ Only an amateur like Antonio would put one extra dip. Real guys like me put two. Enjoy your meal, (y/n) :) ]

You giggled while taking a picture of the note and sending it to Yoongi in an instant to keep him updated.

Just as you hit the send button another message came in from an unknown number – Namjoon didn’t wait to text you and you thought that was very cute, you hated nothing more than guys thinking it’s cool to let someone wait for days before they texted.

[ Namjoon: What kind of puzzles do you have? I want a cool one with a Star Wars picture on it or something like that. P.s.: I hope I chose the right dips, if not let me know which ones you prefer.]

If you weren’t whipped for him yet now you surely were. He most likely didn’t care about puzzles one bit and had no actual desire to puzzle but if it was a good enough reason to keep up a conversation with him you would talk to him about puzzles for weeks.

[ You: I can offer you cute baby cats in a cup or one of those sunflower babys. I might have a Disney one somewhere but it had 2000 pieces.]

Not even three minutes later, Namjoon texted you back – making you wonder how in the world he was able to text you during work but you wouldn’t question it any further.

[ Namjoon: So what you’re saying is you don’t think I can handle 2000 pieces? Challenge accepted. And if I am not able to do it in the end I always can ask you for help right?]

If anyone told you that you and your delivery guy would be flirting while talking about puzzles together a few weeks ago you wouldn’t have believed them but you most definitely weren’t complaining – what an interesting guy.

“Happy birthday my baby,” Hoseok said as he hugged you tight. Right after that, Yoongi did the same, even giving you a pat on your head – you knew it was a special day when Yoongi showed you physical affection.

“Yeah, happy birthday you annoying angel,” Yoongi smirked, “I hope we’re the last ones to arrive.”

Of course they were. No matter where you were going, Yoongi was always the last person to arrive. He said it’s because it’s his ‘branding’ but you were pretty sure it was just him not being able to time anything right.

Everyone was already there – not that you invited a lot, just Jeongguk and Taehyung, Seokjin and his lovely girlfriend Mina, Jimin, your best friend Norah and last and also latest, Yoongi and Hoseok.

You wanted nothing more for your special day than just a small gathering with a bit of alcohol and a lot of fun, just talking and playing Mario Kart all night long like you all did back in college.

“Open our present,” Hoseok insisted while hanging up his and his boyfriend’s coat and you wouldn’t let him tell you twice.

Opening the envelope Yoongi unlovingly pressed into your hands when he entered your eyes went wide, a small gasp escaping your lips.

“No way,” you were more than surprised as you were holding four tickets to your favorite musical, “how did you convince Yoongi to agree?”

Shrugging, Hoseok send you a mysterious smile, “I have my ways. I can’t wait to go, we wanted to go for such a long time.”

Hugging both of them tightly, you even managed to press a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek, “Who’s the fourth ticket for though?”

“Up to you, it’s a double date, you’ll find some guy,” Yoongi shrugged before a mischievious spark found its way into his eyes, “Maybe you can return the favor to a certain someone who nowadays risks his jobs to sneak extra dips into your order?”

“Wait, what did I miss?” Hoseok asked you with wide eyes before turning to his boyfriend, “Are you keeping important information from me?”

You shook your head, immediately disagreeing, “It’s nothing. Namjoon just gave me extra dips when I ordered a few days ago, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” Hoseok gasped, in his head he was already planning your wedding, “That’s so romantic. He kept in mind that Antonio always did it for you and now he’s doing the same for you. I never knew Namjoon could be such a romantic dude.”

You let out a laugh, amused by Hoseok’s reaction, “It’s just dip, Hoseok. We’re not getting married.”

“They are texting though,” Yoongi added fuel to the fire, “She sent me screenshots. He even used emojis.”

The grin on Hoseok’s face was now manifested as you were slowly making your way to the living room where the music was coming from and the others were already playing drinking games, “He never once used emojis with me.”

“Young love must be so beautiful,” Yoongi teased you as he was letting himself fall down on his usual spot on the couch. Sometimes you wondered why out of all the people he was destined to be your best friend.

Knowing how nosy your friends are, all of them were immediately bombading you with questions.

“Who is in love?” Jeongguk’s eyes darted up from the cards he was holding on his hand, panic in his eyes visible. Surely, he thought it was about him and Taehyung – it was an open secret that they had a thing for each other.

“Soon, it won’t be me if this loser right here keeps on losing at this game,” Seokjin nagged his girlfriend, giving her thigh a small squeeze.

Before you could say anything, Norah joined the others, “I can’t believe you’re in love and didn’t tell me anything about it. Finally over Jaehyun, thank god.”

Ouch. While you were doing better day by day you still didn’t have to be reminded of the guy who ghosted you recently on your birthday.

“Guys, our little (y/n) will soon be off the market,” Hoseok announced happily, “She and Namjoon are going straight towards the dating stage.”

You facepalmed yourself, shaking your head, “That is an absolute lie, guys. Don’t believe anything Hoseok says. I am very single right now and will continue to be in the future.”

“Sure,” Yoongi scoffed, filling an empty glass with some liquor that was standing around, “As if Hoseok will let that happen. Once his mind is set it’s over for you anyways. That’s how he got me too.”

“It would be very nice if stopped talking about my love life for now,” you playfully warned them with killing glances, “It’s my birthday, you have to listen to me after all.”

Jeongguk raised his glass, gesturing for everyone to do the same, “To our beloved (y/n). May the new year of her life be filled with fun, love and more sex than the last one.”

“God knows she needs it,” Seokjin yelled as all of your glasses clinked and you were gulping down the bitter liquor in your cup.

The night went by much to your liking: Filled with laughter, reminicising old memories, one of them including that one time Yoongi yeeted a full water bottle against your temple, drinking and the feeling of being together, right where you belonged.

Of course, Hoseok out of all people brought up the brilliant idea to order some pizza – not going to lie, despite the ulterior motive Hoseok definitely had, it would not have been a normal night if you didn’t get pizza at one point.

You were sure that everytime your friends were over at your place you ordered pizza, it was the most normal thing but with Hoseok’s sheepish grin as he ordered you suddenly felt like it wasn’t the best idea.

Seeing Namjoon in combination of him bringing something as delicious as pizza was a birthday present in itself but you just had a bad feeling about Hoseok already plotting something you couldn’t see coming right now in the back of his mind.

The door bell rang around 10.45, the evening just getting started and you were unable to open it, due to you being entangled between Seokjin’s and Norah’s limbs in a heated game of Twister that you were not willing to lose.

“Ask him to come too after his shift is over,” you ordered Hoseok as he was jumping up from his space on the couch to open it for you, “It would be rude not to ask.”

Hoseok scoffed, shaking his head, “You really think I wouldn’t have done that anyway?”

Namjoon was rather surprised to see Hoseok open the door but he figured out that there was a small gathering going on as soon as he heard the screams from the living room – luckily he wasn’t around to see you sandwiched between your friends after Seokjin decided he had enough of you two and just let himself fall on top of you with his whole weight crushing you.

“I was already worried as to why (Y/N) ordered seven pizzas tonight,” Namjoon let out a laugh as he greeted Hoseok with a fast handshake.

Hoseok knew that he couldn’t be too obvious with Namjoon about his plans – he was sure that he could get it to work between the two of you but he knew his oldest friend, he might be smart but he also was the clumsiest guy on earth, especially when it came to girls.

He chuckled, “It’s her birthday today, we’re celebrating in a small round.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened, instantly feeling bad for not knowing that today was your special day, “You should’ve told me. I would’ve texted her about it earlier then. Now it’s almost too late.”

Hoseok nodded, a suspicious smile on his lips, “I would have if you wouldn’t have kept it a secret from me that you’re talking to her in the first place.”

He offered Hoseok a helpless smile, almost apologetic, “Sorry, I forgot to mention it. We’re not even really talking. She just orders pizza a lot and I got her number from the delivery note.”

“Sure, sure,” Hoseok answered, making sure Namjoon knew that he didn’t believe him a single word, “No need to make excuses. She’s cute, I’m not blind. When do you get off today?”

Checking his watch for a second he didn’t notice you coming around the corner, “In fifteen minutes. You’re my last delivery, just have to bring back the car after this.”

“You should come over after,” his voice made him look up, almost seeming surprised to see you at your own home, “You can’t say no, it’s my birthday.”

He broke into a smile, nodding instantly, “Happy birthday, (y/n). I’ll see you in twenty, alright?”

“Don’t let me wait too long,” you almost sing-sang as you took a few of the pizza cartons from his hand, turning your back to him and Hoseok again as you walked to the living room.

Namjoon let out a frustrated sigh after you were gone when he saw the teasing glance of his friend.

“You’re whipped already dude,” Hoseok let out a laugh as he took the other pizzas, “See you in a few minutes. Be fast, I’ll make sure that she’s drunk when you arrive. She gets even chattier when she’s under the influence. I can’t wait for my newest project.”

As he came back and all of you sat around your living room table, ready to eat and chat and taking a break of the games you were playing you felt excited. It was embarrassing and probably childish but the thought of Namjoon coming over later made you feel almost giggly.

When the doorbell rang again you were quick to get up and make sure you were the one opening it.

You were still pretty sober and a part of you wanted it to stay that way just so you could take in Namjoon sober, not influenced by anything else.

But as you opened the door, you instantly knew that you actually might need more alcohol tonight than ever before.

“Jay,” your voice was thin and you had to clear your throat in order for it to come back, “What are you doing here?”

Instead of Namjoon’s face you were greeted with his and not only did you not want to see him, you also didn’t want to be reminded of him at all.

“It’s your birthday and I know it was mean of me to –” he started to explain, flowers and chocolate in his hand but you had to interrupt him. You just had to stop him from talking before you could allow him to hurt you again.

You might play around with Yoongi and claim you’re falling in love with every second pretty face you meet but the truth is that you barely ever let anyone in and Jay once again was the living proof on why you should keep it that way.

You liked him, you truly did – you could see yourself with him, in a serious and loving relationship. Jay and you had good sex, you could easily have a serious conversation with him in one second and then almost die of laughter in the next, you talked every single day, he called you before going to bed and everything seemed perfect.

Until one day, it didn’t. It all went down really fast – first he didn’t call anymore, the next day he barely responded to your texts, a few days later he didn’t even talk to you at all anymore.

You remember calling him drunk one night and he actually picked up for once only to tell you that you needed to respect his opinion. And you wanted to – you were the last one to run after a guy but the way he ghosted you just seemed unfair to you.

“Stop it, please,” you let out a long sigh, eyelids closing as you were trying to control the anger building in your stomach, “You have to leave right now.”

But you knew Jay and his stubborn self, he wouldn’t leave easily, “You don’t have to invite me in but please let me explain.”

Rubbing your temple in distress you almost considered hearing him out, almost got weak for a second. But then you thought about all the times you cried your eyes out over him, you got drunk and ate like shit and didn’t take care of yourself anymore, you were so lovesick you even skipped your friends’ parties and on the worst days you didn’t even have the energy to answer their texts.

You were still hurting, still wondering about why you weren’t good enough and how he could leave so easily when you were having such a hard time to get over him but that didn’t mean you were weak.

Just because it still hurt didn’t mean you had to hear him out.

Wrinkles formed on Jaehyun’s forehead as he desperately tried to get your attention, “Give me one more chance.”

Luckily, the anger overpowered the sadness inside of you as you heard those words out of his mouth. For weeks you were longing to hear those words and go back to normal but that was no more.

“Are you completely insane?” your eyes widened furiously, your nails lightly pressing itself into the palm of your hands, “How dare you come here on my birthday and act like this? After all you’ve done.”

Jay nodded, his hand trying to get ahold of your shoulder to make you look at him but you didn’t let him touch you. “I know I sound insane but I can’t be without you.”

A scoff was all you could offer him as an answer, not believing that he had the balls to say stuff like that, “Go get some help, Jay.”

Before he could say anything, you heard Yoongi’s sarcastic chuckle from behind you, also not believing his eyes, “Everything okay (Y/N)?”

“Yoongi,” Jay almost sounded relieved to see him, “Help me out here. I’m trying to own up to my mistakes.”

Yoongi shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t seem to be as mad as you but he clearly was taking your side, “Dude, you have to let it go. You can’t just come here and make a scene.”

As if the situation at hand wasn’t bad enough, Hoseok came up from behind you at the same time Namjoon was walking to your door behind Jay.

With each passing second everything just seemed to become messier. Hoseok didn’t hate Jay, you were sure Hoseok was not even able to feel hate towards someone, but after all he did to you he certainly wasn’t very fond of him.

And what he disliked even more was someone putting stones in his way as he was trying to set you up with someone who he was sure would treat you way better than Jay ever could.

“Namjoon, thank god you’re here,” Hoseok’s voice sounded hopeful, “Jay, it’s time to leave. As you can see, you’re not needed anymore. Goodbye.”

Namjoon clearly was beyond perplexed as to what was going on – it was like he walked straight into a battlefield. He didn’t know you very well but you were clearly angry, the unfamiliar guy standing in the doorframe next to him the reason for it.

Putting one and one together fast, Namjoon understood what Hoseok meant.

“Hello,” with a fake smile, he greeted the stranger next to him, “I have no idea who you are but judging the glances (Y/N) is throwing you you’re not very welcomed.”

You were thankful that Namjoon came to your rescue – Jaehyun would not have shut up if Yoongi or Hoseok told him to but a complete new face telling him that he better should leave had an impact on him.

Stepping past him and inside Namjoon wrapped his arm around your shoulder as an obvious statement towards Jay and threw you a small, reassuring smile, “Happy birthday once again, should we go inside and have a nice evening now? Or do you still want to talk to him?”

You made a note in the back of your mind, making sure to thank Namjoon for saving you later. Who knows what the outcome would have been if he didn’t play along?

“No, let’s go,” you nodded as the four of you were turning around to leave Jay at the doorstep.

“(Y/N), you know I love you right?” you heard Jay yell after you as a last try to make you change your mind but Yoongi was quick to shut the door behind him, not having Jay’s shit anymore.

You came to a halt in your hall as Namjoon’s arm left your shoulder – you didn’t want to cry but you could feel your nose tingling and hot tears coming to you eyes as you heard him say those three words.

For a second you were unable to move, in complete shock and before you knew it, some of the tears were rolling down your face. It wasn’t like you were crying heavily, you just spilled some tears and you promised yourself right then and there that those tears would be last ones you ever cry for him.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to say with a shaking voice.

“Sorry for what?” Yoongi chuckled, wiping the tears out of your face, “For wasting so much time on a jerk like him? It’s okay, we forgive you.”

You let out a small laughter through the tears, followed by a deep breath before turning to Namjoon. What bugged you the most was that he had to witness all of that.

“Thank you for having my back there,” you told him and only saw Yoongi and Hoseok sneaking away in the corner of your eyes to once again leave you two to talk alone, “I feel a bit embarrassed to be honest.”

Namjoon shook his head reassuringly, his hand on your arm as an offer of comfort, “Nothing to be ashamed of. Whoever that guy was, and I am assuming he is or was more than a friend to you, he seemed like an asshole.”

“Was,” you informed him immediately, “Was more than a friend. The only thing he is, present tense, is just another regret of mine.”

Nodding, Namjoon looked into your eyes and offered you a smile, “Are you okay?”

“A bit hurt and agitated but more than ready to move on,” you answered him, the corners of your mouth turning into a smile.

“Good,” he chuckled before pulling you into a hug, “I didn’t get to properly congratulate you yet. You could’ve told me your birthday was coming up, now I had no time to think of a present for you.”

Waving him off, you were about to assure him that he didn’t need to get you anything at all but before you could he was already getting a small package out of his bag.

“I can’t believe you still got me something,” you lectured him but he shushed you immediately.

“Just take it and open it. It’s just something very small but I saw it at the gas station on my way here and just had to get it for you.”

You could feel your heart melting already as he gave you the present but when you opened it and realized what it was, you swear your heart was melting away like butter in the sun.

A genuine laugh bursted out from you, “A puzzle and a bottle of wine. You just gifted me a perfect evening.”

You hugged him once again, thanking him for the present. It might have been something small but the meaning behind it was big. It was thoughtful, clever, cute and actually useful. Maybe even your favorite present of the evening, right after Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s that is.

“I got the biggest one they had so if you need help with it you just have to text me,” his voice was nothing more than a mumble as he was still embracing you. Well played, Kim Namjoon.

“Oh, believe me, I will.”

No matter how much you promised yourself not to let it get to you, Jay was not giving up. Calls, texts, flowers delivered to your door. He was putting in effort and even though you appreciated it, you told him more than once that you’ll not come back.

It’s been like this ever since your birthday five days ago. A part of you was curious as to what changed in his mind for him to go back and fight for you now but you knew as soon as you let him explain you would let him in again – and letting him in again was something you desperately wanted, and needed to avoid.

So, you fell down your hole again – it was exhausting and draining to act like everything was fine when you felt confused and hurt inside.

“Don’t cry too much, will you promise me?” Yoongi asked you from the other side of the phone.

You let out a sad chuckle, “I won’t promise. I’ll bawl my eyes out tonight. I’m in the mood for crying.”

Your best friend wasn’t very quiet about how much he hated seeing you like this. It was his way of showing you he cares. He checked in with you and told you you’re a helpless mess, trying to cheer you up in his own way, “Well, then you go and be a crybaby over a guy that doesn’t even deserve you. I tried.”

You laughed at his salty words, knowing he didn’t mean them, “Why am I even friends with you?”

“Been asking myself the same question for years,” he nagged you, “I have to go now. Stop sulking, get over that loser and then distract yourself with that cute delivery guy you always talk about. Bye.”

You haven’t seen Namjoon ever since your birthday but you were texting each other every now and then. Namjoon wasn’t stupid though, he knew you were having your own problems to deal with right now, not even trying to flirt with you as long as you were struggling.

There you were, sitting in your flat all alone, not knowing what to do with yourself. The most likely option was going to bed, crying your eyes out and craving for someone to hold you. That also was the most pathetic option but you stopped caring a long time ago.

Just as you were washing your face and brushing your teeth to get ready to go to bed, even though it wasn’t even that late yet, you heard the door bell ring, ignoring it. You weren’t expecting anyone and the possibility of Jay standing outside was way too high.

What you didn’t expect was another familiar voice yelling for you, “Delivery for (y/n). I know you’re home. Your light is on, idiot.”

You fastly walked over to the door and were surprised to see Namjoon in front of you, a pitying smile on his face. It was a terrible thought for him to see you like that.

By now you knew Namjoon well enough to know that he was the last one to judge you for going through a hard time but you still hated that he probably thought you were an emotional wreck (didn’t matter that he was very right with that).

“I didn’t order anything,” you said a bit startled, not knowing what was going on.

Shrugging, he handed you a paper bag, “I know but that’s the perk of being friends with a delivery guy. Surprise deliveries.”

You almost pouted because you were so touched by Namjoon taking care of you, “You really didn’t have to.”

A grin appeared on his face, the beautiful sight of his dimples making your chest hurt a bit. Namjoon seemed to be the perfect guy, right in front of you, but you couldn’t stop mourning over some idiot, “I wanted to. Plus, I missed you.”

What pissed you off the most was that you were doing better without Jay and then he had to show up and make you fall back to square one.

You smiled at Namjoon, a genuine smile, not one of the many fake ones you had to pull off over the last few days, “You’re too good to me.”

Namjoon would be willing to do almost anything to just get a genuine smile from you. He talked to Hoseok about it a few days ago and realized that his friend was right – for whatever reason, he was more than interested in the human form of a walking disaster that stood in front of him.

A part of him knew from the beginning but the more he got to know you, the more he got to appreciate your little quirks and flaws.

As you thanked him once again after a bit of small talk you let him go back to work and sat down on the bed to see what Namjoon brought you - your stomach was growling like crazy, you didn’t even realize how hungry you were. Thank god you have a Namjoon to take care of you.

The bag had a whole pot of ice-cream, two bottles of wine and a little note in it.

[ Cry it all out & cheer up soon. Until then, here’s some comfort in the form of food and alcohol for you. ]

Your stomach was tingling reading the little message – a small pout appeared on your lips, feeling both touched by Namjoon’s cute gesture and also miserable because you wanted to over Jay already.

Not only did you want to forget Jay, even more you wanted to completely fall in love with Namjoon. You wanted to experience what kissing him would be like and being held by him at night and also waking up next to him in the morning.

And with that mindset, you swallowed down your tears, shook any thought regarding Jay out of your mind and finally blocked his number. It was about time to do that. If only Yoongi was here to witness that moment, he sure would have been proud.

It was only 11.25 p.m. – you swore it felt like the middle of the night as you checked your phone, slightly annoyed.

But after turning around in your bed for several hours, you gave up on the idea of sleep. You weren’t even tired in the first place, you just wanted this miserable day to end.

If you couldn’t fall asleep you at least could waste your time with something more fun than staring at the ceiling and overthinking every single thing you have ever done in your life.

And oh, what a peaceful night this could’ve been, full of sleep and nice dreams – if only you didn’t decide to start the puzzle Namjoon gifted to you.

This man really bought the most complicated one he could’ve found, about seventy percent of it consisting of very dark to black pieces.

Puzzling was supposed to be a stress reliever but right then you just wanted to throw it against the nearest wall, not even nearly finished with the frame even after two hours.

Getting your phone out of your pocket, you opened your messages with Namjoon.

[ You: Kim Namjoon, I am goin to kill you fr. ]

[ Namjoon: OH? What did I do now? ]

[ You: This puzzle is making me go insane, you better get your ass over here and help me with it just like you promised. ]

[ Namjoon: Won’t let you tell me twice, give me twenty minutes and don’t be mad at me, we’ll finish this together ♥ ]

You had no idea what came over you, inviting Namjoon to spend some time with you alone wasn’t something you planned on doing this soon but the texts were sent before you could think about them twice.

A mixture of nervousness and excitement formed in the pit of your stomach, almost regretting inviting him over.

But not even an hour later all the nervousness vanished and was replaced with something you haven’t felt in a long time – genuine fun with a guy you liked.

“Are you blind?” you asked laughing, “You can’t just press a piece in if it doesn’t fit, that’s not how it works.”

Namjoon was laughing too now, rubbing his temple in pain, “Didn’t you say puzzling was fun and relaxing? This is one of the worst things I did in a long time.”

“I promise, it’s fun usually. You just happened to gift me the hardest puzzle to exist,” you teased him, loving how easy talking to Namjoon was. This was the first time you two were together alone and still there was no sign of it being awkward or uncomfortable.

The two of you were joking around, the TV playing in the background but both of you were too concentrated on the puzzle, and also each other to even pay attention to it.

“I’m hungry,” you almost sounded whiny as you were looking for a specific piece you swear you saw just a minute ago, “Let’s order something from Piero’s pizza.”

A small gasp came out of Namjoon’s mouth, “You actually like our pizza? I always thought you’re just ordering that often because you wanted to see me.”

“You’re confident I see,” as a small laughter escaped your lips as you shook your head, “But I have to dissapoint you. Piero’s pizza is the best pizza in town.”

“You have terrible taste,” Namjoon was clearly not agreeing with you, his eyebrows narrowed, “I knew even someone like you has to have a flaw.”

Laughing at his cheesy remark, you decided to still order from his workplace, no matter what he said - this was your house and in that house you love and support Piero’s pizza place.

It was around one in the morning when your and Namjoon’s heartfelt laughter while eating pizza and talking about just anything that came to your mind was interrupted by the loud and annoying sound of your doorbell. By now you were close to just turning it off so you wouldn’t have to deal with Jay’s attempts anymore.

Expecting the worst, you shook your head in disbelief and mumbled, “This guy really has some nerves, showing up in the middle of the night.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows knitted together, instantly understanding who was on the other side of the door. He felt a weird feeling of being uncomfortable rushing over him.

Not because he actually felt uncomfortable with you, no, he loved every second you spend together – the thought of you maybe giving in to Jay again after all was what caused the turmoil in his stomach.

He knew it wasn’t right to feel like this, some might even say he was jealous but he couldn’t help it. Of course, he himself was aware that the two of you were nowhere near being more than friends, you barely even were friends in the first place. Namjoon was sure that to you, he was nothing more than a friend of a friend and per chance also the delivery guy of your go-to pizza place.

But Namjoon wanted it to be more so bad – he could barely explain why he had this strong urge to make you like him, why he was so interested in you in the first place. It was like an instinct of his body to try to keep you as close as possible, as if something inside of him was screaming at him to make you his.

“Should I open it?” he suggested and you looked at him with curiousity in your eyes, “Maybe if he thinks you have a new guy he’ll stop bugging you.”

You considered his offer for a second but you knew Jay well enough – Jay was too stubborn to give up and also too clever to not see right through it.

Declining his offer you pressed your lips into a thin line, “That’s very nice of you but as long as you’re not opening the door with messy hair and in boxershorts I doubt he’ll buy it. It’s 1 A.M. and a boyfriend wouldn’t wear perfectly styled hair or nice tight jeans.”

Namjoon let out a laugh, agreeing with what you said – if he was more than a friend the two of you certainly wouldn’t be dressed and sitting on the couch while puzzling at this ungodly hour.

As the doorbell rang again, you took a deep breath before yelling towards the door, “Just a second.”

Just as you were about to get up and face the idiot on the other side of the door, Namjoon stopped you.

“Just how much does this guy bug you?” he asked you.

Rubbing your temple, you let out a sigh, “I wish he would just finally stop trying. I don’t know what else I should tell him to make him stop.”

“Got you,” he then said, getting up from the couch. You weren’t sure what to expect but it certainly was nowhere near what Namjoon had in mind.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he almost sounded embarrassed, ears bright red as he pulled his hoodie over his head, a white basic shirt underneath it. Next he started to open his belt, making your eyes grew wide, “Please act like this never happened afterwards okay?”

Namjoon was stripping down his pants in front of you and it was hard to say which one of the two of you had redder cheeks. A part of you wanted to look away, the other one wanted to stare and save every second of it in the back of your mind for lonelier days. His thighs looked stone hard and your mind was filled with unholy things.

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly when his pants dropped down to the floor, in front of you a Namjoon only in boxershorts and a shirt, “I absolutely owe you one.”

He waved you off, shaking his head, “Don’t worry. I just wouldn’t have thought you’d see me only in my boxershorts tonight.”

As he was walking to the door and out of sight, the smile on your face grew wider and wider. The inappropiate thoughts rushing through your mind not helping the adrenaline in your body to calm down very soon.

You almost felt like a giddy teenager again who was about to experience her first kiss. Except for that you were an adult and you were nowhere near getting kissed - you were most likely just reading too much into the situation but you still allowed your mind to do so.

“Namjoon?” you heard a familiar voice, one that definitely was not Jaehyun’s from the door, sounding more than confused.

“Oh god,” you then heard Namjoon mumble under his breath, getting up fastly to see what kind of scenario was going down on your front door.

You were surprised with two pair of eyes, wide wide open, looking at you and Namjoon. The little smirk on Yoongi’s lips gave away that he was enjoying the awkward moment a bit too much and Hoseok’s laughter a few moments later made you let out a breathe you didn’t know you were holding.

“This is absolutely not what it looks like,” you promised, now standing next to Namjoon, “What are you even doing here?”

“We wanted to accompany your depressed ass,” Yoongi said with the widest gummy smile of him you’ve seen in a long time, “But I see you’re doing just fine without us.”

Namjoon closed his eyes in frustration, knowing exactly that the two of them will never let you live this moment down, “Why don’t you come in?”

Hoseok’s voice was higher than usual, a teasing tone in it, “You sure we’re not disturbing anything? We can leave you two lovebirds alone.”

Now also frustrated, you threw your head back, shaking your head, “Stop being a pain in the ass and come inside.”

So, there you were a few moments later, Yoongi and Hoseok sitting on your couch opposite of you and a still half naked Namjoon. It almost felt like your parents caught you with a boy in the house and now made you have the most awkward talk you probably could have.

Breaking the silence, Yoongi raised his eyebrow at you, “Glad you’re getting laid again.”

In an instant you threw him a warning glance, shushing him, “I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

“Why are you so tense about it?” Hoseok asked curious yet the smile never left his lips, “We were rooting for you anyways.”

“We weren’t having sex or anything like that,” Namjoon started to explain to his friends what happened. He told them that the two of you texted each other every now and then, about the food he brought you earlier, you asking him to come over, the two of you just puzzling and drinking wine up to the point where you thought Jaehyun was on the other side of the door.

“That’s all that happened,” you hold your hands up as if you were pleading not guilty, “No sex, no making out, not even holding hands.”

Your friends looked at each other, still with suspicious smiles and mischief in their eyes.

“What is there to smirk about now?” you almost whined, not wanting to discuss this awkward situation any longer.

As much as you loved your friends, you just wanted them to leave again. Namjoon and you were just getting to know each other and god knows how much teasing from these two he could take.

The evening was so much fun and you were sure that Namjoon and you could go into the direction you wanted to, if only your friends didn’t decide to cockblock you.

“Nothing, nothing,” Hoseok assured you, shrugging lightly, “But just so I got this right: The two of you were hanging out alone, in your apartment, late in the evening, drinking wine together, right?”

“That’s a date,” Yoongi finished what Hoseok was trying to say, “Maybe not an intentional one but surely you wouldn’t just do that with any other guy.”

Protesting, you pointed your finger at the couple in front of you, “You’re wrong. I would certainly love to spend a wine night with you alone. Or Hoseok.”

Hoseok let out a laugh, shaking his head, “But we’re both in a relationship. A homosexual one, that is.”

“Just saying,” Yoongi shrugged, already knowing that he was right, “You wouldn’t spend your evening like this with Jeongguk or Jimin. But with our Namjoon here things are different, right?”

You wanted to disagree, wanted to put him in his place and make him lose this argument. You wanted to discuss this with him until you swiped off that shit-eating grin of his face so bad. But you couldn’t.

Not a single good response came to your mind to disprove him and instead, you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

Hoseok let out an excited shriek of joy, nodding heavily, “You’re speechless! Speechless because Yoongi is right.”

“Guys, why don’t we just –” Namjoon started, trying to de-escalate the situation like the peacemaker he was but he had no choice, Hoseok interrupting him only a second after he opened his mouth.

“Don’t you even think we’ll be only picking on (Y/N),” he started, making himself more comfortable on the couch as a sign of him not planning to leave before he enjoyed every single moment of this situation, “Let’s talk about you then, Namjoon.”

“I’d rather not,” he mumbled under his breath before sighing. He knew just as good as you that once Hoseok started to tease, he won’t stop until he wanted to.

“We’ve known each other for so many years,” Hoseok was clearly enjoying this way too much, the amusement and sarcasm in his voice thick, “Yet not once have I seen you do something you’re not allowed to, just like taking a detour to deliver food to a girl’s house for example.”

“You’re cruel,” Namjoon stated in response, knowing there was nothing he could say.

Both of you were just enduring right then, hoping it won’t become awkward between you two after the others are gone again.

“I’m just saying it’s cute that the two of you are getting closer,” Hoseok pouted, acting like the angel he sometimes can be, “You look good together. You obviously are attracted to each other and you’re getting closer, we all know which direction this is going and I think that’s great. Our (Y/N) only had bad luck with guys but you’re a good guy, I know you’d treat her right because I’ve known you for years but have never seen you look at someone the way you look at her.”

Yoongi chuckled as his glance met yours, the expression on your face clearly begging him to set an end to this because if anyone can stop Hoseok it would be him.

“I think we caused enough trouble,” Yoongi told his boyfriend, taking his hand in his own before gesturing towards the floor with his head, “Let’s let them have their date in peace, what do you think?”

Hoseok’s bright and shining smile turned into a soft one as soon as he felt Yoongi’s hand on his, the excited idiot becoming the loving boyfriend he is around Yoongi immediately.

No matter how much you wanted to kill Hoseok, it always made your heart melt to see the two of them like this. Their behavior towards each other was so full of love, the vitamin and the grumpy old man in front of you were still as smitten for each other as they have been since the start. If you ever would feel like this towards someone, you surely won in life.

As he got up and walked towards the door he couldn’t help but tease his friend one last time, knowing very well himself just how much he annoyed the two of you, “Stay in boxershorts, I know our (Y/N), it’ll make her go crazy – she loves thighs.”

Namjoon let out a laugh in the same moment you threw a pillow towards him, Hoseok’s fast reflexes making him duck in an instant so the pillow didn’t hit him but the plant behind him.

“Out!” you yelled at your friend but a small chuckle still escaped from you – it was almost maniac, “You terrible human being.”

As soon as you heard the door close behind them shortly after, you felt your tense body finally relax again, letting yourself fall down on the couch behind you, your eyes fixated on the ceiling, “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”

Namjoon didn’t seem to mind all that much. He mirrored your actions, allowing his back to rest against your couch, in the space right next to you.

You could feel him shrug beside you without having to look at him, his broad shoulders only slightly brushing yours as he did so, “They weren’t completely wrong.”

No, they really weren’t. Actually, they were spot on – at least with the things they said about you. You would even go as far as saying they might have opened your eyes a little bit more.

While you were aware before that you thought of Namjoon as someone rather attractive, someone you definitely could fall for at one time in your life you didn’t realize how fast you let him in already, despite only knowing him for a short time.

Every single word Yoongi said was true and you hated how well he knew you.

The anxiety you felt during the conversation with your friends was completely gone when you realized how relaxed Namjoon was beside you. You feared he would start to feel uncomfortable, maybe even want to leave because of it but there you were, both of you drained from Hoseok’s teasing but at least without a weird tension between the two of you.

Namjoon letting out a scoff made you divert your attention from the ceiling to the man beside you - it was near shocking to see how close he was lying next to you, his face only centimeters away from your own, “What’s so funny?”

His glance shifted towards you, a smile that one could describe as almost silly-looking on his face, “Seems like we’re having a date, huh?”

“Seems like we are,” immediately you started smiliing widely, nodding your head, “Without us even knowing.”

Namjoon started to move around to lay on his side, his head propped on one elbow so he could look at you better, his whole attention on you, “If I’d ask you out on a real date, would you say yes?”

“Well, that depends on what a date with Kim Namjoon involves,” you arched an eyebrow, the playful tone in your voice making you sound way more relaxed than you were actually feeling inside.No, you were not feeling calm or cool, you felt your stomach tingling and your heart beating. The side effects of being next to Namjoon.

“Definitely not Pizza from Piero’s,” he laughed, making you do the same.

The annual campfire party of your friendgroup was the highlight of every year. It all started around four years ago when Hoseok first invited your group of friends to camp in his parents yard - back then you all were wondering why you should camp in a simple backyard but as soon as you first arrived you knew exactly why.

Not only did Hoseok’s parents have a massive yard, it also looked like the biggest cottagecore inspired movie scene you’ve ever seen with big, tall trees everywhere, wildflowers decorating the whole place and the coziest fireplace right next to an old shed, used to store tools and, once a year used for someone to make out in it while the rest of you were living your best camplife.

Ever since then you loved Hoseok’s campfire parties and this year you were even more excited because you had high hopes of ending up in Namjoon’s tent tonight.

“Turn left right there,” you navigated Namjoon who was kind enough to pick you up, “We’re almost there.”

“I know where Hoseok’s parents live, you don’t have to tell me,” Namjoon chuckled, clearly amused by your excitement, “How many people are coming?”

“Not that many,” you informed him, “Just the usual guys from our squad, their girlfriends and dates. No outsiders.”

“Leaves me wondering if I am part of the squad now or just your date,” he joked around.

Shrugging, you threw him a cheeky smile, “Depends on which one you prefer.”

He threw his head back while laughing, his dimple popping and you swore that you could never get enough of this view. By now you were whipped for Kim Namjoon and the two of you haven’t even kissed yet - it was almost scary to think how weak he could make you once you pass the flirting stage.

“I hope to be a bit of both,” he shyly admitted, making you smile instantly, “But you know, it takes two to be on a date. What do you think?”

“A date it is then,” you proudly said as he was parking the car.

As soon as you stepped out of the car you heard Jeongguk’s loud laugh alongside the music that was blasting from the backyard. Namjoon insisted on carrying not only his tent but also yours, being the stubborn gentleman he was.

“Oh, look who’s coming,” Hoseok annouced with his cup raised as he spotted the two of you, “Our two lovebirds.”

“Ay ay, such a pretty couple,” Jeongguk yelled and you wondered how he already managed to sound tipsy despite the evening just starting.

“You all have to shut your big mouthes,” you laughed as you approached your friends, all of them already sitting around the big fire in the middle on their camping stools, “Always making a big deal out of nothing.”

But once again they weren’t too wrong, were they? You noticed the way he sat down right next to you, a bit closer than he needed to be, the way he moved as soon as you moved, tense around each other, not because it was awkward but because both of you wanted to be ready for the other one.

It was already starting to get dark outside when finally everyone invited was there, everyone busy with something. A few people were setting up the tents, you and Seokjin's girlfriend were busy preparing some food while Namjoon and Yoongi tried to set up the big fire in the middle of the garden, tons of camping chairs gathered around it.

"So, how are things going between the two of you?" She asked you, not able to contain her big grin, "Are you still in denial about the fact that you're into each other?"

Throwing your head back, frustration was written all over your face, "I don't even know anymore. We're always flirting and like each other obviously but I think he doesn't want to pressure me because of the whole Jay dilemma."

"Well, I see how that can be frustrating but on the other hand that is very considerate of him, isn't it?" She had a point, you knew she does. He just wanted to be sure you're ready and you're comfortable but how in the world could you signal him that you were indeed more than ready?

As you stepped outside again, Namjoon was greeting you with a wide smile, gesturing you to sit down next to him. Jeongguk and Taehyung already had taped cans of beer to their hand and the music was playing loudly in the background as a few people of the group were talking about old memories from college.

Like every time, the atmosphere was cozy - the fire was keeping you warm and the stars were twinkling bright as you looked up. You loved those moments, they always made you feel peaceful. Seeing all of your dear ones together, having fun without a worry in the world warmed up your heart, you knew in the moment that you were making memories. Not to mention the special feeling of having someone next to you who you liked so much, he made your heart beat faster.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon whispered for only you to hear and you saw how for a second his hand was hovering just above your knee but he stopped himself - you wish he didn't, "You're unusually quiet."

Not thinking about it you put your hand on top of his, making his own hand rest on your thigh. It felt surprisingly easy and right to have it there, as if it belonged there.

Looking over to him, you leaned closer to reassure him, "I'm just enjoying the moment. It's nice to be here, with you."

He didn't have to say anything for you to know that he was feeling the same - the soft and calm smile was reassuring enough.

The party was in full swing when you decided to leave it for a bit, walking over to the part in the back of Hoseok’s garden, where everything was quiet, the only sounds coming from your friends that were playing games behind the tents but they were too far away for you to understand what they were talking about.

You didn’t have to turn around to know that the audible footsteps approaching you belonged to Namjoon; who else would come looking for you while there was a party going on only a few meters away?

He sat down beside you, his green oversized hoodie in combination with the grey beanie he was wearing were making him look so soft you wanted to bury your face in the soft fabric of the hoodie.

The dimpled smile he gave you even more managed to make your heart skip a beat and you were sure your knees would become weak if you weren’t sitting already.

“Is the party boring to you or why did you decide to flee?” he asked you, his legs crossed beside you as both of you were sitting a little bit too close to each other on Hoseok’s lawn, away from the middle of the party. For the first time in the evening it was just you and Namjoon, the rest of your friend hidden behind the many tents that were your home for the night. You wanted to be alone with him more than anything.

“No, that’s not it,” you reassured him as your eyes met and you almost felt shy, “I hoped for a certain someone to follow me so we could have some time to talk alone, away from all those drunk idiots.”

“Oh, should I tell Yoongi to come over then?” He joked, obviously knowing that you had no desire at all to talk to Yoongi right now – by now Namjoon knew that you enjoyed his company just as much as he enjoyed yours and even though you still were very careful about stepping out of the friendzone, you felt like you were slowly walking towards the dating-zone.

You playfully hit his chest as you laughed, “Don’t you dare to leave. I won’t let you.”

“What are you gonna do?” he scoffed, teasing you in the most playful way possible, “Run after me? Tackle me? You think you have a chance against me?”

“Probably not,” you agreed with him, “But I could always make you stay with a woman’s weapon.”

“Well, good for me that I didn’t plan on leaving again anyways,” he chuckled, the situation a tiny bit awkward because there you were – just you and Namjoon, all alone, alcohol in your veins and an obvious attraction towards each other.

By now it was safe to say that you liked Namjoon a little bit more than you would’ve expected but how couldn’t you fall for the pretty boy with a soft and kind heart?

You realized a while ago that Namjoon was the full package – he was funny and kind and cared about you, he checked in with you whenever you felt like shit and he even dealt with Hoseok’s constant bickering and teasing about the two of you. He helped you when Jay was bothering you, he listened to the small things you told him and remembered them, all in all he seemed to be the closest to a perfect human being you’ve ever met.

It was almost too good to be true but there he was, right beside you, eyes on you and you only.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” you asked him a bit shy, knowing that you had to ask him sooner or later, “I’m actually afraid of the dark.”

“Are you sure that’s the reason why?” Namjoon chuckled, “Not because you want to share the night with me?”

You rolled your eyes, acting offended, “Don’t think too highly of yourself. If you’re acting like this I’m gonna go and sleep in Jeongguk’s tent again, let me just ask him real quick.”

As you tried to get up Namjoon wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you right back in with full power, making you fall into his arms. “Smooth,” you smiled up at him before daring to lay your head down in his lap.

“If you think I’m gonna let you sleep in Jeongguk’s tent you’re insane,” he chuckled as he was looking down to where you were laying, his hand carefully stroking your hair out of your face, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” you softly answer, a grin on your face. Of course, Namjoon was right – you wanted nothing more than to spend the night with him, god knows you wanted that since forever but you also weren’t lying when you said you were afraid of the dark.

“(Y/N)?”, Namjoon’s voice went quiet and he looked a bit worried, wrinkels appearing on his forehead, “Since we agreed that this is bascially a date I need to ask you a question.”

You just nodded, wondering what was heavy on his mind.

“This Jay guy,” he started and you felt your whole body tense up at the mention of his name, “Do you still have feelings for him?”

A sigh escaped your lips, meaning every word you were about to say, “Not at all. I don’t have feelings for any guy except maybe the cute delivery guy with the dimpled smile that always gives me an extra dip.”

Namjoon’s worried expression was washed away in a second, a laughter escaping his lips, “I sure hope you are not talking about Antonio.”

Both of you were laughing now as you were getting up from Namjoon’s lap again to sit beside him, your face facing his.

“I truly do like you (Y/N). I think I knew from the first time you opened the door, drunk and with mascara running down your face.”

You chuckled, nodding, “It’s not fair, you’ve seen me at my worst and I’ve only ever seen you at your best. Do you not have any bad days, Kim Namjoon?”

“Well, I was in a pretty bad mood when I thought you might go back to that jerk but besides that, I think I’m always close to perfect,” he teased you, his fingers busy with putting a stand of your hair behind your ear.

And there it was, the moment before. Both of you were thinking the same, your faces too close to each other and his hand on your cheek to obvious to deny it, and even if that wasn’t obvious enough, Namjoon’s glance down to your lips said it all.

It was the perfect moment, the weather was fine, Namjoon looked and smelled as good as ever, you were both a little tipsy with a full party going on in the back that you ditched – but all of those things didn’t even matter anymore as soon as you felt Namjoon’s lips on yours, the warm feeling of it rushing through your whole body.

His hand was holding the side of your neck, his fingers tangled in your hair as the soft kiss between the two of you felt addicting and you wouldn’t mind if this never ended.

It didn’t take long until your kiss turned into a full make out session, you on top of his lap as he held you close,

“Namjoon,” you softly interrupted him between the kisses but he didn’t care, he just wanted to kiss you for the next hour or two.

“Namjoon,” you once again interrupted him even though you didn’t want to, making him stop the kiss and rest his forehead against yours.

“Mhh?” he asked you with his eyes closed, enjoying the moment, “What’s wrong?”

“Hoseok and Yoongi are watching us.”

Only a second later you heard the two of them screaming and hollering, making Namjoon groan in frustration.

“Get the fuck away,” he yelled over to the tents where the two of them were standing, big grins on their faces, “You’re being the biggest cockblocks.”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi screamed, clearly amused, “If I remember it right we were the ones who set you up.”

“Good for you though!” Hoseok reassured you, “Use protection. You have thirty minutes before we start roasting marshmallows but I know Namjoon won’t need that long!”

Before Namjoon could say anything else the couple turned their back towards you, walking back to the party.

You snickered, “I don’t think they’ll ever let us live.”

Namjoon agreed as he realized you were still sitting on top of his lap, his hand found your thigh, drawing small circles in the inside of it.

“You’re so pretty,” he started kissing your cheek, “You’re pretty when you’re wearing a dress, make-up and with your hair all done,” another kiss on your jawline, “Pretty when you’re drunk and crying alone at home but still give me a smile when you open the door,” the next kiss right under your ear, “Even pretty with a puzzle piece in your hair,” a kiss right on your neck, making you shiver in anticipation, “And especially pretty when you’re sitting on top of me,” this time the kiss was planted on your collarbone.

“Just wait until you see me naked then,” you joked and held his head in your hands, kissing his lips softly.

Namjoon chuckled, his head in the crook of your neck, “I don’t think I’ll be able to survive that view.”

“I know CPR, don’t worry,” you joked and he gave you another kiss, happiness written all over your face, “Should we go back?”

“Wait a second,” he took your hand in his, “I just – I need to tell you that I do want to take you out on that date we talked about when we puzzled on your place that one night. And I want to take you on so many more. I’ll go to this musical with you and Yoongi and Hoseok even though I have no idea what it’s about and I want to kiss you so many more times.”

“I think all of that sounds just perfect, Joonie.”

Pressing a kiss to your hand, he took a deep breath before his eyes met yours, “Let me call you my girlfriend from now on, okay?”

The smile on your face grew wider than ever before, nodding instantly, “That sounds nice. Yoongi and Hoseok will be euphoric.”

Namjoon laughed, pulling you close to give you another kiss – it felt even better when you thought of him as your boyfriend.

“Somewhere between all the wine bottles and pizza boxes you stole my heart,” Namjoon’s voice was soft, “Let’s go tell them, I want everyone to know.”

548 notes · View notes

blackmissfrizzle · 4 years

Text

Meet The Furys

Characters: Erik Stevens x black!reader, Nicky Fury x daughter!reader

Summary: Its time for your dad to meet your boyfriend.

Warnings: None

A/N: Based off this imagine. After almost a year its finally here! I hope you all enjoy it.

“Okay, remember to play nice. My dad can be intense.” You warned Erik before ringing the doorbell.

“As long as he ain’t on some fuck shit.” Erik was already not too fond of the work your father did.

“Erik!”

“Aight, I’ll be nice.” He changed the tune of his story when he saw the crazy look in your eyes.

The front door opened and revealed Tony Stark. “What are you doing here?” You asked shoving the cake in his hands.

“Nice to see you too, kid.” He kissed the top of your head. Despite your love-hate relationship, Tony was like a big brother to you. Actually, all the avengers were like older siblings to you.

“Stevens.”

“Stark.”

Erik and Tony greeted each other. Neither one liked the other. You believed it was because there was no room big enough to hold both of their egos.

“Please you two, no arguing today. I got enough to worry about.” You continued to venture into the house.

“Erik, my man!” Sam came up and clapped Erik’s hand and gave him a one arm hug. “What you been up to?”

Tony leaned into you and asked, “Why doesn’t he greet me like that?”

You rolled your eyes and turned over your hand. “You know why.”

“Shit, nothing. I’m just out here trying to survive.” Erik ended the clap with a snap. He hit Sam in the middle in the chest. “I see you hitting them weights. You out here trying to get swole?”

“Nah, man I’m trying to get like you.”

“Trust me you don’t wanna be like him.” You interrupted the nigga-fest before it went too far.

“She’s always hating.” Erik whispered to Sam. “I’ll get at you later.”

Erik followed you throughout the house. The two of you constantly stopping to greet everyone. Eventually, you made it outside to see your dad at the pit.

“Hey Daddy!” As you reached up to kiss his cheek, you had to restrain yourself from hitting Erik when you heard him mumble, “I’m the only one she calls daddy.”

Nick put the spatula down and hugged his baby girl. “How is it possible you get more beautiful every time I see you?”

“I get it from my daddy.” You boosted his ego. “Anyway, there’s someone I want you to meet.” You tugged on Erik’s hand to bring him next to you. “Daddy this is Erik, Erik this is Nick Fury.”

Erik stuck out his hand to shake your dad’s. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Nick looked at the young man’s hand for some time. Before everything went down in Wakanda, Nick heard of Erik or better yet Killmonger. He wanted to bring him into SHIELD, but decided he was too volatile and stubborn for the organization. Now that same man is dating his baby girl. Fate had a cruel sense of humor.

“Hmmph.” Nick looked Erik up and down before shaking his hand. “You treating my daughter right?”

“Yes, sir. I’m the one you should be checking on.” Erik rubbed up and down on the bicep you hit him on earlier. “She’s always hitting me.”

“Don’t act like you don’t deserve it. You always testing me.” You bucked at him.

Erik was about to mush your head, but he remembered his surroundings and that he was supposed to be making a good impression. “See, you got a little thug over there.”

“She ain’t the thug I see.” You knew your dad would be snarky when he met Erik, but you didn’t think he would be going this hard this early.

You saw Sam behind Erik, cracking some joke with Bucky. Quickly, you motioned for him to come get Erik. “E, you wanna go grab a drink and dig into that cake before anyone else can?”

Erik looked to you if it was okay for him to leave. Even though he was already itching to leave he didn’t want to piss you off.

“Yeah, go.” You waved him off. “Me and Daddy need to have a talk.”

With your go ahead, Erik took off. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold his tongue.

Once Erik was out of earshot, you poked your dad in the shoulder and got on his ass. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Nick played dumb as he flipped the burgers.

You flicked your dad’s ear and quickly got out of arm’s reach. “That elitist nigga bullshit you just pulled by calling Erik a thug.”

Nick gave you the full Fury glare that was usually reserved for Tony. He pointed the spatula at you. “You got that one free lick. You don’t get anymore.” Closing the pit, your dad came next to you. “And the last thing I wanna be is one of those siddity niggas. I just…I just expected you with someone different that’s all.

“Elitist bullshit.” You mocked him by singing.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, I was a little elitist. I’ll be better, I promise.”

If you consider better as not talking to one another then better happened. The barbecue was tense due to the obvious animosity between your dad and boyfriend. No matter how hard you, Sam, Bruce, and Steve tried to ease the tension, somehow your dad and Erik found a way to throw off-hand comments. And Tony was no help because he liked to add fuel to the fire.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Sam complimented Erik’s hair and your dad mumbled, “I don’t know why you young niggas think that’s a good look.”

Erik’s smile before he said anything told you everything you needed to know, and you knew there was no way to stop it. “I’m sorry that your receding hairline made you cut your hair. But hey, you rock that Samuel L. Jackson look.”

“What’s wrong with Sam L? That man got style.” Nick looked at Erik incredulously. He choose the wrong one today. “And while we on the subject of hair. Son, if you can’t grow a full beard then at least have the sense to cut that shit off.”

You almost spat your drink out. Erik’s been using some oils to grow his beard completely and it was working so well, you thought it was full. Leave it to your dad to find the last patch.

“At least I’m not dressed like Shaft. Nigga it’s 85 degrees right now, why you got on that hot ass leather duster for? Ole Little Bill lookin ass with an eyepatch.” Erik refused to be outdone by this old head.

They continued to trade jabs. It was like watching a tennis match when neither player could score. Each jab was hitting its mark. If this wasn’t your dad and Erik, then you would be cracking up like everyone else.

You needed to stop their bickering before it got too far. Out of the two, your dad would be the easiest to stop. “Daddy!” You called out to him, trying to redirect his attention.

“What?!” Both Erik and your dad turned to you. When you saw your dad’s face processing that Erik answered as well, you knew right then and there you would have to kill Erik. You’ll just tell T’Challa and Shuri that he died in a horrible car crash. It would be believable, because that nigga doesn’t know what a speed limit is.

Sam slid out of his chair in silent laughter, Tony spat out his drink and was howling in laughter, Steve’s face flushed red in embarrassment for you, Bucky looked like he wanted to congratulate Erik, Wanda and Nat offered you sympathetic smiles, and Peter was confused to why everyone was in a state of shock.

That shit-eating grin was wiped off Erik’s face when he looked at you. Was it possible to plan your own funeral, he thought.

“Y/N, why did he answer you?” Nick asked his lovely daughter. He knew his daughter was grown and she was most likely doing grown people activities, but that didn’t mean he needed to be blatantly reminded of it.

“Cause I’m her daddy, nigga!” Erik was done playing nice. Nick Fury needed to know he was serious about you and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Tony wiped tears from his eyes. “This keeps getting better and better.” Nat kicked the leg from under his chair causing him to fall.

‘Thank you’ you mouthed to her. Tony obnoxious ass was next on your hit list after Erik.

Standing up, Nick pointed between him and Erik. “Me and you about to have a little talk.”

You tried to follow them inside the house, but your dad stopped you. He said they needed to have a talk man to man.

The longer they were away, the more you worried. For sure, you thought you would hear yelling. Neither one of them were afraid to get loud. Maybe one of em killed the other, you thought. Nah couldn’t be, neither one would go quietly.

Suddenly, your dad’s laughter was wafting through the air and that didn’t happen too often. Rounding the corner was a happy Erik and your dad, laughing with each other like they just weren’t at each other’s necks.

“What is this?” You asked surprised that they weren’t arguing.

Erik came to your side and kissed your temple. “Me and your pops came to an understanding.”

“And that is?”

“None of your business.” Your dad told you, leaving you speechless. Wow, did your dad and Erik have secrets now?

You asked Erik the same question and got the same answer. Erik was your best bet to tell you their secret, so you pinched him to get him to spill the beans.

In less than five seconds you felt a flick to your ear. “Keep your hands off that boy. I forgot how mean your little ass can be.”

You grabbed your ear and looked at your dad in awe. “What the hell is this?! Y’all friends all of a sudden?” You had to be in the twilight zone, because now your dad was defending Erik.

Both men turned to you and simultaneously repeated, “None of your business.” You decided to give up for the moment. You would have to divide and conquer to get any info.

The rest of dinner went really well considering where it started. Instead of roasting each other, Erik and your dad ganged up on Tony and it was your turn to laugh at his pain and suffering.

At the end of the night, it was only you, your dad, and Erik left. On your way out, Erik promised your dad he would come to his poker night and that they could hustle Tony out of some money. These niggas were really best friends now.

Finally, in the car you could try to pry some information out of Erik. Your dad would never tell you what they talked about. He was the king of secrets.

“What?” Erik’s lip slightly curled up when he felt you staring at him.

“What did you and my dad talk about earlier?” You pinched his arm. “And don’t tell me it’s none of my business.”

Erik slid his eyes at you when he came to the stop sign. “Imma handle that ass when we get home.”

“Promises, promises.”

Erik shook his head at you. He contemplated telling you the truth and decided to give you an abridged version, because he knew your ass wouldn’t stop bugging him until you got something. “All you need to know is that we both have your best interest and love you. Anything else you wanna know, you gotta ask your pops.” Taking the hand that was intertwined with his, Erik kissed the back of your wrist.

That answer would have to do for now. Just like Erik said you could get the rest from your dad with a lot of begging and honestly, Erik might tell you more, because either way you looked at it you were daddy’s little girl and neither one of them would want to disappoint you.

Tagging:@lostennyc @chaneajoyyy @vikkidc @ginghampearlsnsweettea @honeyflii @youwishiwasyobabymama @just-juicee @quietpoeticheart @soufcakmistress @twistedcharismaaa @marvelmaree @thickemadame @titty-teetee

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controloffandoms · 3 years

Text

Buck Begins Fic Recs

For @thisissirius

Here are a couple of fics that I have written. And I’ll probably add a couple of favorites that I’ve read along the way!

Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough

Buck bit his tongue, looking away from his father. It was too early in their get together to have a blow out. He especially didn’t want to have that blowout in front of Chim and Albert. “You know, firefighting, until recently, has had a huge amount of off duty suicides due to improper care of mental health. The department has changed to help firefighters through hard times of losing patients or families in fires by hiring departmental psychologists and having service animals available for visits to the firehouses after really tough calls. If someone isn’t in the right mindset, we could lose more people, not to mention our own people and that person. Mental health is no joke,” Albert stated. Buck had to hide is smile, but he turned to Albert, giving him a knowing look and small smile. His parents spluttered for a few seconds before Phillip turned to Albert. “I don’t think I was talking to you. Mind your own business, this was a family matter.” “Don’t talk to him like that,” Buck nearly growled. “He is family.”

~~Or the one where the parents visit and Buck is in over his head...luckily his family has his back.

~~~~Part 1 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

Nothing I Ever Did-

~~~~Part 2 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

"Watch your attitude, Evan," Margaret glared. "Why should I? All you've ever done is put me down and compare me to Maddie and try to make me into her. News flash, I'm my own person and I'm different! I get that nothing I ever did was good enough, but I don't have to keep trying to appease you and let you walk on me or my family. So if you could kindly drop the attitude and rude comments regarding Eddie and Christopher, it would be much appreciated. They invited you into their home and you've been nothing but assholes since you got here! Clearly you came here with opinions and baggage and a want to have your way, but that's not going to fly here. You best just head out of town tonight, you're not wanted here in my life or Maddie's life. We don't want your toxicity melting into our families because I'll be damned if the shit you've said tonight will ever affect my niece or my kid!"

~~Or the one where Eddie hosts the Buckley parents and just tries to be supportive in general...but the parents are nightmares. Featuring cuddles with Chris, Eddie, and Buck.

Not The One You Wanted

“Evan, I don’t know what you expected us to do.”

“Love me anyway,” it had been said like his heart had been ripped out...which, it felt like it had. Because that was the truth, wasn’t it...all he ever wanted was for them to love him anyway. He wanted his parents to give a damn about him but they never did...it was like he was a responsibility that they never wanted.

Maddie had said that their parents had been different back then when they were sentimental and made a box for her...and now Buck knew why. Daniel. His older brother Daniel...a brother that he didn’t even know existed until he sat down with Maddie to look at all the baby photos in the box...and there were plenty...Buck can hardly remember ever getting portraits like these done during his childhood….but his parents were different back then.

-OR- Evan Buckley deserves love and hugs because of how shitty his parents are.

*This is honestly one of my favorites that I’ve written...it’s like a character study while Buck was trapped in the warehouse with some liberties surrounding the reason Buck’s in the warehouse*

Secrets

He’d been lied to his whole life...Maddie had never thought to tell him about not being his actual sister...his parents were acting like it didn’t matter...like he should just get over it. Buck’s eyes met Chim’s...and his whole body went rigid. “You knew,” he whispered, looking directly at Chim. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?!” He rounded on his sister, “you told him, but not me?!”

“Evan, I was trying to protect you-”

“No, you don’t get to do that! You don’t get to try and protect me! I’m a grown ass adult, I deserved to know but instead of telling me, you told him and even though I’ve known him longer he still didn’t tell me!” Buck shook his head, backing from the room. “I can’t do this,” he whispered.

-OR- Buck finds out the secret Maddie's been keeping from him while his parents are visiting...he is understandably betrayed.

*Basically, Buck Begins and the Daniel scenes hadn’t happened yet and I wanted to know what the secret was, so I came up with this.*

Ambush of the Parents

Based off the new Promo (or the one I just saw) where we see Maddie, Chim, Albert, Buck and (who I believe) are Buck and Maddie’s Parents. Buck’s dad says “you’ve been seeing a therapist?” and Buck responds “Well, the job can be stressful.”

Disclaimer: Please don't read if verbal abuse from parents triggers you.

~~~~Or Buck’s parents are absolutely horrible and Buck’s family defends him.

Buck Begins

Buck always tried to please his parents. He wanted to be recognized and loved. He tried to get their approval but it was never enough. *Includes flashbacks, this was before Season 4 was even in production*

~Evan had thought that the SEALs would make his parents proud. He tried out for the SEALs, he went through training, but it still wasn’t enough. Then he’d dropped out. That had been the icing on the cake. Evan had never had a big blowout with his parents. He’d always tried to appease them. He tried to be the perfect son…but they never thought he was good enough. So when he dropped out of the SEALs, having a shouting match with his father as a consequence, he left for South America. He bartended and had fun. Then he’d gone to LA and became a firefighter and he hadn’t contacted his parents since the blowout.

Here are some fic recs that are not my own works

double vision wrapped in last night’s party clothes by amirlywritingfanficnow

"I have always been honest with you." When Eddie's voice cracks, Buck's composure almost cracks with it. "Why can't you just be honest with me?"

When Buck is let in on a long kept family secret, he doesn't know what to do. He almost ruins things with the one person that keeps him from feeling like he's floating away with no way to land, but it ultimately turns out okay with help of a little communication.

*This one pulled at my heart strings a little*

but i leave it in my heart, cause I don’t want to stay in the dark by neoncrayolas

Buck hadn't meant for the confession to come out like it did. He'd wanted it to be more eloquent and not so full of snot and tears.

But once it was out, there was no going back.

Or, part character study of Buck, part coda to 4x05.

*Basically, Buck isolates himself, Eddie gets worried, and Buddie is endgame

Learning to Breathe by TearsThisSideofHeaven

Boy, he thinks as the city lights blur a little in his vision, my therapist is going to have a field day with this.

*Short little fic that delves into Buck’s emotions with Eddie trying to support him

Finally Safe by WinterLioness

In the aftermath of finding out a family secret Buck finds himself going to Eddie. Christopher and Eddie use their Diaz charm to help.

*This picks up on the emotions Buck feels not only because of the family secret but because Maddie kept it from him (not full on hate, but what any normal person would need to work through) and Eddie is there to support him. Features cuddles with the Diaz Boys.

Not Related to the story line of 9-1-1 but has a whole ‘Buck Begins’ vibe because I was world building: The Life We Live

*The Old Guard AU no one asked for* "Athena had seen many a millennium and many men, women, and children die. She had seen the rise and fall of civilizations. She had felt the pain of loneliness and the happiness of community...but she’d never, in her many years of living, seen something like Eddie, Buck, and Chris. She’d never seen this profound of a bond, even between herself and Bobby. After Buck lost Abby and, later, Ali, Athena wasn’t sure he would have let his heart reach out to another person that he could lose...but she was proud of him. He built something that was hard to come by in their way of living. He built a home."

*I’m really proud of this one, it turned out well*

Not Related to the Story Line of 9-1-1, Fics by others!

Please Don’t Say You Love Me (because I might not say it back) by Queerfeministdork

"Say I love you loud, and say I love you often. It was an easy sentiment, and it was a beautiful background picture. But something clenched tightly in Buck’s chest when he saw it flash open as he handed Hen her phone. Because he knew it was a simple thing for most people, that most people could just let those three little words slip out without a care. But he couldn’t. They always got caught in his throat, stuck behind his chest. Tamped down before he could think to breathe them out."

Buck always wished he could just say the words. Turns out, maybe people just know.

*Basically, Buck can’t say ‘I Love You’ as easily as everyone else and panics about it...but eventually, everyone understands.

everything is blue by amirlywritingfanficnow

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is a matchmaker.

*Basically Buck and Eddie saying fuck toxic masculinity. Buck enjoying painting his nails and Eddie is definitely in love with him.

Coming Home To You by kariberri13

The 118 want to know more about Buck, but the man won't give them many details. That is until the biggest detail walks through the station's bay doors.

*Not focused on his past, but a different story focusing on the fact that Buck is married to Eddie and has a kid that he didn’t tell the Fire fam about.

There are tons more, but this is what I could think of off the top of my head!

Hope you like them!

#buck begins fic recs #buck begins #fanfiction writing #9-1-1 #evan buckley #buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #the buckley parents #fic recs #for thisisserious #longish post

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et-lesailes · 4 years

Text

the bodyguard | pt. 4

series masterlist

pairing: dark!curtis everett x reader

word count: 1906

chapter summary: you’re reaching the end of your pregnancy any day now, but you and curtis get into a fight after a steamy night.

themes: smut, breeding kink, angst

taglist: @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @gingerninjaprincess16, @straightforwardly, @denisemarieangelina, @frencchfries, @xlanawriter, @littlemoistcarrot, @pottxrwolff, @arianatheangelworld, @southerngracela, @nsfwsebbie, @rororo06, @savemesteeb, @raveviolet, @hurricanerinwrites, @captainamerica-is-bae, @shaddixlife, @tessa-bl, @marvelouspottering, @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc, @thegetawaywriter, @dwights-new-plague, @rynabarnesrogers, @fckdeusername, @doloreschanal, @ssworldofsw, @la-cey, @buckybarnesplumwhore, @hevans-angel, @chuckbass-love, @stardust-galaxies, @smyfmj, @chris-evans-indian-fanfic

notes: would love to hear your feedback! graphic creds to @allthefandomstogether ~

You practically collapse onto your bed in exhaustion, one hand cradling your large bump while the other reaches back onto the mattress to support yourself. Your hair falls upon your back as you tilt your head, briefly shutting your eyes and enjoying the silence of your cart.

The past nine months have been different than anything you’ve ever experienced before. About three months into you and Curtis’ “relationship”, your grandfather passed away. Curtis claims he was simply old, but you’re almost positive he was behind Wilford’s death, considering his loyal men mysteriously died within a few days after. Not that anyone questioned it. Everyone is terrified of Curtis now. He had Wilford’s approval before his death, thanks to the baby you’re carrying, and so they have no choice but to respect him. It’s almost pathetic how quickly Mason bows down to him, practically falling to her dry, wrinkly knees every time he passes.

His own men from the tail section practically dominate the front now. Edgar and Grey are his right-hand men, now cleaned up rather nicely in comparison to the grubby clothes and overall lack of hygiene from their tail section days. Tanya is still a close friend of his, someone you’ve even had jealousy with in the past. Curtis is slightly more soft with Tanya than he is with you. You often wonder if it’s because she’s a mother, and find yourself hoping he’ll be the same way with you once you give birth to his child.

There were other times you witnessed a softer side to Curtis. Gilliam, Curtis’ dear advisor, friend, and mentor, passed before your grandfather did. You still remember how shocked you were upon seeing the tears spilled from those bright blue eyes, watching the man practically crumple to the floor before you. You remember getting right down with him and hugging him tight, holding his head close to your chest and telling him that everything was going to be alright. He melted into your embrace, letting himself collapse against your body. It was the weakest you had ever seen him.

You remember thinking about the fact that you could have killed him right then and there, if you really wanted to. His gun was in the drawer right next to you, he had a knife right in his pocket.

And then you felt an overwhelming sense of disgust and shame, immediately shaking the thought out of your mind.

You were and still are forever obedient to Curtis. You love him, even if your brain screams at you for it from time to time.

The door to the cart slides open and he walks in. You look up noticing his blood stained, button down shirt that he’s already swiftly removing. You don’t have to ask where he’s been. Ever since he took command, he forced the “useless” front sectioners to the back- the ones who did not have any jobs or services they could contribute to the train and its passengers. Now he tortures them just like they tortured him. He at least showed mercy to your friends, but you still do not like to think of the torment he puts those people through on a daily basis. He often invites you to accompany him to the tail section, a wicked smirk on his face as he asks, and you always refuse.

He’s still angry. He wants vengeance. Quite honestly, you can’t fully blame him.

“You’re going to pop any day now, hm?” the man murmurs thoughtfully, eyes locking onto yours as he looks over at you. “How are you feeling tonight?”

“Like a balloon.” You mumble, though can’t help but barely crack a smile as you peer down at your swollen belly. You can’t deny that you’re excited to be carrying Curtis Everett’s child. You’d do anything for him, and you have no idea why.

He comes over to you shirtless, leaning down to press a naturally rough kiss against your lips. “Mm. I like seeing you like this. You look so perfect, pregnant with my baby.” He mutters gruffly, his husky tone making you shiver slightly. You love that he makes you feel so wanted. You love being his, and you love that no one else on the train will ever experience him the same way that you do. He truly is entirely committed to you- he can’t even look the other front section women in the face due to complete repulsion.

He starts to pull back but you grab his wrist, looking up at him hopefully. “The doctor said that sex can help induce labor.”

He blinks but barely smirks, slowly tilting your head up. “Is that what you want, little kitten? You don’t have to pretend it’s just for the purpose of having this baby, you know.”

You barely giggle, insistently tugging him closer again and kissing him. “You know it’s not that. I always want you.”

He smirks against your lips, slowly pushing you down on your back as he deepens the kiss, tongue pushing into your mouth to explore roughly. You can’t help but moan softly when his lips move to your neck, his teeth grazing your skin with teasing nips- when you feel his hand slide up your leg underneath your dress and to your panties, fingers rubbing you firmly, you’re practically whining out in desperation.

And then the doors slide open, a loud Irish accent interrupting, “O-oh, ho oh! Sorry, Curtis, didn’t realize I was interrupting. Man, you’re still fucking? Is that even safe-”

“Edgar.” Curtis turns his head, still on top of you as he practically bores holes through the younger male with his piercing eyes. “Get the fuck out.”

“Yes, sir!” Edgar simply hoots in laughter, saluting before giving you a wink. “Have fun, m’lady!” He turns around and walks out, most likely ready to go find Grey to have a laugh together about it.

You can’t help but blush, though Curtis simply starts rubbing you again with those talented fingers, sucking on your neck even harder than before. “We should really change the code to that lock,” he mumbles deeply, leaving love bites all over your sensitive flesh- you half giggle, half moan, reaching up to grip the back of his neck. “I agree…”

He pushes up your dress and moves his head down, kissing all over your belly. “Come on, little one, we’re waiting on ya.” He glances up at you with a smirk, tugging down your panties and finding your clit with his thumb, teasing it roughly. “Fuck, I can’t wait to see you be a mother, Y/N. Already thinking of knocking you up again once this one comes out.” He reaches down to hastily remove his pants and underwear, revealing his thick erection, the mere sight in itself arousing you even more; though you can’t help but look at him with wide, innocent eyes upon his statement.

“You want more?” you whisper, and he scoffs lowly, pressing his shaft against your core.

“Of course I do. I can’t run this train forever, can I? And I don’t know about you, but I prefer we keep this a family business. We’ll need more than just one.”

You don’t even have time to respond as he thrusts into you roughly, making you gasp out loud as you move your hands to grip onto his muscular back. “Curtis!”

He groans as he bucks his hips forward, leveling himself on his arms as he stares down at you with grit teeth, eyes completely focused on your pleasured expressions. “Fuck, I love seeing you under me like this. You like that, kitten? You like my big dick deep inside you?”

“Yes!” you cry out, arching your back as best as you can, though it isn’t too much. Not that you need to help him out, anyways, he’s perfectly capable on his own. His strong thrusts, rough kisses, and dirty words muttered deeply into your ear send you over the edge with ease; your moans become louder and louder as you start to come undone. He keeps his eyes glued on you, almost addicted to the way you react to his touch. He hates that in a way, you have him wrapped around your finger. He’ll do anything to hear those moans from your lips, to see the way your body writhes and wiggles underneath him, to feel every single inch of your skin.

When the two of you finally meet your release, both breathless and panting, he pulls out and lays beside you, lazily kicking off his pants he didn’t even fully remove to begin with. You stare up at the ceiling as your chest heaves up and down, your dress still rumpled above your bump. He looks down at you, arching a brow slightly.

“Do you feel anything?”

You can’t help but think of the conversation you had earlier. You look back up at him, biting on your lip and ignoring his question for now. “Do you really only want me for kids, Curtis? Is that why you continued to be with me after my grandfather died?”

He blinks, slightly thrown off before sighing, reaching up to rub his temples. “Is this talk really necessary? Why do you think of such petty things all the time? This train was so goddamn corrupt, I’m trying to save it here. And this is what you spend your time thinking about?”

You look at him in shock, frowning as you sit up- a little clumsily, nonetheless, due to your belly in the way, but your expression getting angry. “You’re the one who made me want you, Curtis, you practically tortured me! Even after that night you told me how we would be together. I-- you knew I was always interested in you, and I knew you were using that to your advantage but-- is that really all this is? Are you still only just using me?”

He growls in annoyance, sitting up as well. “Is that what you think? If that were the case, why would I keep you around after Wilford and his men died?”

“I don’t know, for image? And I’m the only one on this train with Wilford’s blood, it makes more sense for you to have kids with me if you eventually want them to be leaders.”

He exhales in frustration, running his hand through his buzzed hair. “This is ridiculous. I-- I can’t have this talk with you right now, you’re clearly going insane from these pregnancy hormones or something.”

He stands up and starts dressing himself again, and you look at him in complete shock. “Wh-what-- where are you going?! I could literally give birth tonight, are you seriously leaving me right now?”

“God, no! Would you just fucking relax? I need to take a walk, I just-- I need to be out of this damn cart for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

You watch as he walks out of the cart, your heart pounding from anxiety and sadness. You hate this feeling. Sometimes he makes you feel like the only girl in the world, and other times it seems like he sees you as some sick fantasy that plays into an outrageous breeding kink.

Curtis, meanwhile, lets out a yell of frustration once the doors to your cart close behind him, kicking at the soundproof wall. All because he doesn’t want to admit that he’s fallen just as dangerously in love as you have.

#curtis everett x reader #curtis everett smut #curtis everett fanfiction #curtis everett x you #curtis everett fic

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starlocked01 · 4 years

Text

Second Glances

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Roman has spent years making his aesthetic Gay TM and yet his soulmate's first impression of him is that he's straight. What has he done so horribly wrong? Nothing, but first impressions often are wrong.

Day 18 Prinxiety- Your Soulmate’s first impression of you is written on your skin somewhere

Damn it all the cute ones are straight

The mark appeared on Roman’s 18th birthday at midnight and frankly, he was mortified. He had been out and proud for the past two years and almost always had a rainbow flag somewhere on his person or belongings. How in the world could his soulmate get such an incorrect idea of him?

He interrogated all his friends at school to see if any of them had crushes on him and had thought he was straight but with no luck. Apparently they all had better gaydar than his soulmate.

Roman didn't have much time to worry about soulmates though because in just a few weeks he and his twin were moving into the dorms for freshman year of college. They packed up their entire room and wondered what their roommates would be like.

"I don't know Ro, what if they don't accept me or get uncomfortable with me?" Remus ran his fingers through his hair. He'd been growing it out almost a year now.

"Then I will kick their ass and get you a new roommate. Simple," Roman reassured Remus.

"Heh, thanks Ro," Remus smiled, still visibly nervous.

Roman grinned, "no one hurts my sibling and gets away with it."

On move-in day everything was a whirlwind. The car was packed past full and Roman was a ball of nervous energy.

"Remus, are you ready?" he called up the stairs.

"It's Renee today!" she called back down, appearing at the top of the stairs.

"Oops! My bad. Ready to go, sis?" Roman smiled broadly as she walked down, fussing with her skirt.

"Yeah!"

"Let's go! College here we come!"

Renee was unusually quiet during the drive. Roman spared as many glances away from the road as he could.

"You okay, hon?" He asked gently.

She nodded slowly, "are you sure I won't get funny looks during move in? Should I change into something masc before we get there?"

"No, you will do no such thing. It's a co-ed dorm, Ren. And I'm literally right down the hall," Roman shook his head.

Renee glanced down at her palm, "do you think I'll meet my soulmate today? I mean there's gonna be a lot of people there and it is a fem day…"

Roman smiled, "anything is possible, sis. Just keep being your beautiful self."

Thoughts of soulmates reminded Roman of his own frustrating mark. He kinda wondered what his soulmate’s mark said. Guess he'd think it sooner or later.

After the slightest confusion at sign in, he and Renee were ready to move into their dorm rooms. He decided to help Renee with her stuff first (and to make sure any roommate would know who they had to answer to). They were carrying in their first boxes and found her roommate already unpacked and chilling out at a desk with a book on existential philosophers.

The boy looked up and Roman and smiled extending a hand as he and Renee set down their boxes, "you must be Remus. I'm Janus. Nice to meet you."

Roman glared and opened his mouth to reprimand Janus but Renee spoke up first, "actually, I'm Renee!" she took Janus’ hand and shook it, "Remus is my legal name."

"Oh. Oh, my apologies! You would think I would know not to assume," Janus laughed uncomfortably, "sorry, Renee. It's charming to meet you."

"I'm Roman, her twin brother," Roman's mouth twitched. He was ready to cause a scene if things went south.

"Well, actually this is rather fortunate," Janus looked between the two twins, "I get the feeling you two will be understanding. I'm nonbinary and go by sie/sier pronouns. Again, I apologize for assuming. I hope we can get off on a better second impression."

Renee giggled, "that's so cool! I'm actually genderfluid. We can talk more later though, Roman and I still have to unpack all his stuff too."

Roman sighed in relief and turned to go get the next load of Renee's stuff.

After moving all her boxes from the car, Renee and Janus both helped Roman move his stuff into a room just down the hall from them. Even with moving Renee first, Roman’s roommate was nowhere to be found and he wondered if he lucked out with a no-show roommate and accidental single dorm room.

Renee was bubbly and excited, talking about her roommate and sier interests and opinions. Renee was already pretty infatuated with sier. Roman started to unpack his clothing.

"Ro, this is going to be the best! I'm so excited I can't contain it!" she started bouncing on the bed. Roman chuckled and pulled her into a tight hug.

Just then he saw a boy drowning in a purple and black hoodie stop at the door, double-checking the door number. He was so skinny, the only thing Roman could think was Tim Burton Reject but like Cute. The boy caught sight of Roman and Renee hugging and Roman almost thought he saw the 5 stages of grief flash through his eyes.

"Uh, should I come back later? I think this is my room…"

Roman grinned and walked over to the door, "come on in! Virgil right?" Virgil nodded, "hi, I'm Roman! This is Renee. Need help with your stuff?"

Renee waved and Virgil set his box down, "um sure, thanks."

Renee fiddled with her skirt, "Ro, I'm gonna go change."

"Okay, cool. Name when you get back?"

She skipped out of the room, "Reagan! Thanks Ro!"

Roman chuckled and smiled at Virgil, "you'll get used to them. They're genderfluid and switch kinda frequently."

Virgil nodded and started back down the hall to his car, "how long have you known each other?" His voice was tinted with barely noticeable jealousy.

"Since the day we were born. Reagan is my twin," Roman followed his roommate, oblivious to the confusion on his face.

"Wait.. siblings… ohhhh, oh thank god," Virgil was wide-eyed.

"What?"

"I thought Renee was your girlfriend. That would have been awkward," Virgil flushed with embarrassment and Roman broke out laughing.

"Wow, that's a first! I've never been told my sib looked like my S.O.! You're funny Virge!" Roman hit Virgil on the back in a friendly pat that sent the smaller boy stumbling forward.

They quickly moved the few boxes Virgil had brought into the room and both boys started unpacking. The room was tensely quiet until Reagan came barreling back into the room with their roommate in tow.

"Oh my God! You guys!! Janus is the sweetest bitch," their eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"All I did was offer to help with classwork," Janus mumbled. Sie looked at Roman and Virgil and could feel the awkwardness in the room that Reagan was oblivious to, "so, anyone know a good ice breaker?"

Roman and Virgil replied at the same time, "polar bears."

Janus snorted, trying to contain sier amusement, "not quite what I meant, but A for effort."

"Ooh, have either of you two met your soulmates?" Reagan grinned at Virgil and Janus.

"My birthday is in a couple of months, so I have no idea," Virgil shrugged, taping up an MCR poster.

Janus rolled sier eyes, "no, I'm not really trying to find them either. Their first impression of me is disappointment anyway and you know how impossible it is to correct a bad first impression."

Roman laughed, "I feel like I'm looking for the impossible! My soulmate’s first impression is that I'm straight . How?" he held up the pride flag that he was preparing to hang above his bed.

"I could imagine it if the first time they saw you, you were… I don't know, hugging your sister," Virgil coughed suspiciously.

"Well, I will quickly correct them. Shoot, I forgot to ask. Virgil are you okay with queer stuff all over my side of the room? Because if not we have a problem," Roman smiled nervously and Reagan snickered at him. He supposed he should have figured this out before outing Reagan to Virgil but better late than never.

"You're good, Princey. I might not be flamboyant but I'm definitely gay," Virgil smiled softly.

"How lucky you're rooming together," Janus smirked, "should we dismantle one of the beds now?"

Reagan howled with laughter as Roman and Virgil both vehemently denied that suggestion, faces redder than strawberries.

"Give it a month, Jan," they snickered, wiping a tear from their eye.

"Indeed, bet?"

"20 bucks says you're on."

"We're right here!" Virgil protested.

"Shut up, you know I love you guys," Janus replied smoothly.

"No. No, I don't know that," Virgil flipped up his hood to hide his face from the others and pulled out his DVD collection to sort it. Roman glanced over and gave a triumphant shout.

"I knew it! Corpse Bride, Alice in Wonderland, Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice? I knew you'd be into Tim Burton!" Roman grinned happily, "fantastic movies!"

"How? We've known each other for like an hour…" Virgil was confused.

"Ah, I think it was the hoodie. You just look like one of his characters, you know?" Roman's grin turned sheepish.

"Fair enough. That is my aesthetic," Virgil shrugged.

"So should we leave you two future love birds alone now or…?" Reagan chuckled. They could tell Roman liked his roommate a lot, even if he wasn't outwardly flirting.

"Excellent idea, Reagan. We can cause more mischief elsewhere," Janus turned to leave with Reagan following close behind sier.

The first semester of classes went chaotically fast. True to Reagan's prediction, Roman and Virgil started dating within weeks. Despite outward dissimilarities, the two made for a good couple, balancing each other's sweetness and snark and flair and dramatics.

Roman couldn’t help but feel nervous as the clock ticked closer to midnight. Winter vacation had been hard enough with Virgil on the other side of the country, but tomorrow was his birthday and Roman was anxious to figure out if the connection he felt with his boyfriend was as deep and as fated as he wanted it to be.

They were facetiming when the alarm Roman had set for midnight went off.

"Happy birthday, my chemically imbalanced romance!" Roman grinned as Virgil shook his head at the nickname, "where's the mark?"

Virgil chuckled, "can't I enjoy being legally adult for two minutes?"

"Virgillllll please?" Roman pleaded, puffing out his lip.

"Fine. I think it's on the back of my neck though. Hang on," Virgil turned off the camera to take a photo while Roman waited impatiently.

Roman couldn’t see his face but he could hear Virgil’s soft gasp, "what is it, love?"

"Did you really think that about me, Roman?" Virgil sounded upset and Roman wished he would turn the camera back on.

"I don't know, V, what does it say? Please turn the camera back on," Roman prodded gently.

The camera flicked back on and Roman could see the back of Virgil’s neck with a single line of shiny scarlet text, "Tim Burton Reject but like Cute."

"Your first thought of me was that I was a reject??" Virgil brought the camera back to his face and Roman could just make out the line of a tear cutting through his makeup.

"Virgil, it's not like that-"

"Well, it sure looks like it! Either that was your first impression of me or we aren't soulmates! I have to live with this on my skin for the rest of my life I deserve to know!"

Roman glared at Virgil, "quite hypocritical considering I have to live with the fact you thought I was dating my own sibling written across my ass!" Roman took a deep breath before continuing, "yes, my first thought of you wasn't the kindest phrasing. First impressions are so often very wrong. People aren't static pictures, they're living art. Just look at Remus; he's constantly changing. And I've seen you change in so many ways the past four months, Virgil. I would never call you a reject now. I'm sorry I did back then."

Roman watched Virgil’s face as he finished his apology. To his surprise, Virgil started to laugh, low and quiet at first but quickly growing.

"You were right though. I was so skinny, so dark, and so edgy- I think just about anyone would have agreed with you. I think you got the short end of the soulmate stick, Ro, because now you're stuck with me, the Tim Burton Reject," Virgil's smile was wide and genuine and Roman clasped his hand to his chest in relief.

"Oh my goodness, you scared me. I thought I was going to be single! Who knew your birthday was the actual nightmare before Christmas," both of them laughed at that, "goodnight love. Text me when you open your present."

Roman smiled as Virgil saluted and ended the call.

Thank the stars they actually were soulmates.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

#tsshipmonth2020 #Soulmate September 2020 #prinxiety #sibling creativitwins #lowkey platonic demus #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #genderfluid remus #nonbinary janus #first impressions #cussing #college au #soulmate au

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bottleofspilledink · 4 years

Text

God’s Watching, Put on a Show || Chapter XI

The air was cool and crisp, blowing by her and carrying with it the lingering scent of teenage rebellion and the joy that was momentary liberation. Her feet moved swiftly as she waded through waist-high grass, it’s dew caressing the sliver of skin between the end of her pant leg and her sneakers.

The long walk over to the partly hidden, run-down shack they had made their hideout gave her time to think, mind wandering, thoughts racing. And yet, the thirty minutes she walked wasn’t enough for her to sort said thoughts, not enough to know what to do with them, anyways.

She was excited. Who wouldn’t be giddy if something they had waited on for a year now was coming closer with every day, with every passing second, with every step?

Under that, though, there was a sense of dread, Lilith instinctually doubting all the good that was happening to her. Again, I ask, who wouldn’t doubt all the great things that came to them if it were drilled into them everyday that they simply weren’t deserving of it, too sinful to be worthy of anything other than guilt and scorn?

And even deeper than the dread, there was fear.

What if there wasn’t enough money? While Colette’s parents had told her to expect about a few hundred thousands, it was a known fact to all of them that because they were the ones to set the fund up, they could access, and consequently take, money from it as they wished.

What if there was no money at all? Colette not being granted access to her trust fund for some superficial reason was always a real, daunting possibility, leaving her as the one the whole group would have to rely on.

Lilith arrived at their hideaway, almost hesitant to knock at the door, fearing what she could find inside it. This was the one of the two nights that would determine their future. Should she not fear or fret, to a certain extent, that something could go wrong?

Regardless, she soldiered on and knocked.

“Who’s there?” Asked Joan, voice wary and gruff, a slight creak coming from her end probably due to her leaning on the door to make sure no one who wasn’t supposed to get in was able to.

“It’s me.”

The girl’s response was the clicking and clacking of deadbolts before swinging the door open and ushering Lilith inside. It was an unspoken, sorrowful truth the five of them shared, that all the locks they’d placed on the shack weren’t a mere sign to others looking for a place to hang out that it was taken, but an unfortunate, and necessary precaution they had to take due to the simple fact that they were them, that they were gay.

It was so that – if it ever came to it – they could buy themselves a few seconds more.

To hide what they had to, be it alcohol or forbidden books or money.

To come up with a lie, unconvincing as it may be.

To say their dreaded, tearful goodbyes to one another before the inevitable consequence for being them came to claim them.

They wouldn’t have to worry about that for much longer, though. Not if tonight went well. They would never have to worry about it again.

“Where are the others?” She looked around the space they’d made their own, devoid of people save for her and Joan. The time they’d agreed on drew closer and worry slowly made it’s way into the cavity of her chest that seemed to exist for such unpleasantness alone, the part of her she didn’t want, that ever constant fear.

Maybe it would go away once they were out of this town. She hoped it would.

In a better world, she wouldn’t have to feel like this to begin with.

She tried not to think of that too much.

“They came here, pooled together ten bucks, and went back out to buy a pack of cupcakes and a candle for Colette.”

Relief flushed out most of the concern and Lilith allowed herself to plop down on one of the beanbag chairs they got for relatively cheap at a yard sale.

“What about Colette?”

“She’s not here yet,” Joan said, sitting in a near-identical chair from across her, wiggling a bit to try and get comfortable, legs shifting constantly, much more accustomed to the hardwood floor.

“And you guys are sure she’s back from her trip?”

The girl stood up took to leaning on the door again after hearing rustling from outside.

“God, I hope so. It’d be a waste of cash if not.” The girl stood up took to leaning on the door again after hearing rustling from outside. “She said she’d be back on the twentieth.”

A series of knocks came from the other side, panicked, frantic.

“Open up! Colette’s almost here!”

The familiar clinking of metal reverberated around the shack once more, the two girls coming in not even a second after.

“What’s with all the rush?” Joan locked the door once more despite knowing their friend drew nearer by the second. Better safe than sorry. “Doesn’t she know we’re waiting for her?”

Paula gave her no mind, instead sticking a small, pastel blue candle atop one of the cupcakes.

“Joan, dear, your lighter.” She held her palm out, expectant, Joan fished it out from her pocket and passed it over. If Paula wanted to surprise Colette, she might as well indulge her.

Meanwhile, Julia took a lacy tablecloth she had smuggled away from her house during laundry day and smoothed it over the wood of the table, she got the remaining cupcakes from the box, putting them on top of the soft fabric in a short line, careful, making sure none of them touched.

They handed stripped, sparkly party hats to Lilith and Joan, leaving the only one with a small pompom atop it on the table, for Colette.

The set up was modest, intimate, even nostalgic in a sense.

It looked like a child’s tea party. Food just enough for the five who were coming, the silly party favors, the simple decor that could hardly be considered such. All they needed now was a few plastic cups, a teddy bear, perhaps a tutu, and they were good to go.

There was a second after everything was set up before Colette came knocking.

“Guess who’s back from the Bahamas?”

Hushed, excited whispers came from them before they giggled and let her in.

The creak of the door was drowned out by the party horn that Paula had bought.

“Happy birthday!”

“Holy shit, thanks, but I need to tell you guys that those hats make you look like Christmas elves!”

The giggles they had momentarily stifled returned when Lilith put one of said hat on Colette, playfully tugging a strand of her sand coloured hair along the way.

“Then you’re an elf too!”

They cackled and squealed as Colette screamed bloody murder, exaggerated and theatrical.

Julia then held out the cupcake for the girl as the laughter died down and they sang for her, jolly, off-key, filled with love.

“Happy birthday to you!”

They were acting like teenagers. Carefree, joking, happy.

Granted, they were teenagers.

It just wasn’t very often that they felt like one.

“Happy birthday to you!”

As they sang, jovial, unselfconscious of their pitch and tone, Lilith felt all the misery of the day’s happening fade, giving way for their merriment and warmth.

She felt safe.

She felt comfortable.

She felt loved, unconditionally, by this group of misfits, her friends.

Her family.

“Happy birthday, dear Colette!”

There was happiness in the very air they breathed tonight. It wasn’t something they felt often especially nowadays, this sort of infectious joy, this infrequent, sought after euphoria. And yet they basked in it now, fueled by each other’s warmth, feeding off of each other’s joy. This rare, coveted high they had so little of, but shared nonetheless.

“Happy birthday to you!” The final notes were dragged out to a comical extent, punctuated by guffaws and giggles, laughter and lack of breath halting it.

Lilith wished, as Colette blew out the candles and made hers, that the song could have kept going.

She wished her lungs would grow as if they were pufferfish so they could continue that final note til the end of time.

She wished that tonight would never end.

She wished for an eternal, permanent happiness, for all of them.

They settled down after the song, eating cupcakes as they chatted, asking Colette about her trip.

“There were a ton of cute girl in bikinis,” She said in between bites, a bit of green frosting smeared on her pale, chubby cheek. “You guys should come with me on my next trip!”

“Sure, lemme just pull some cash out of my ass and we can fly there on a private jet when Christmas break hits,” Joan cackled, crumpling the polka-dotted wrapper of her cupcake, slightly jostling Paula who sat in her lap.

“Okay, but speaking of money…”

Reminders of their other reason for being here effectively put a damper on everyone’s mood except Colette, who from her skirt pocket took out a crisp, pristine check.

“Will five hundred thousand be enough for us?” She smirked, sliding across the cloth covered table.

The rest of the girl shared glances, incredulous.

“Holy shit.” Julia said, the first to break the for once not terrible silence.

The sentiment was echoed and they all cheered, hugging and crying and hopeful, Colette in the middle of it all, receiving thanks and cheek kisses and hair ruffles, all of them getting pulled down from each other’s weight but refusing to let go, the girls now in a giddy pile on the hardwood floor.

“Well, that was at least nine tons off my shoulders…” The blonde said, finally being released from the tight hug, breathless, short, wheezing laughs coming from all of them as they lay unmoving, tired but happy.

None of them bothered to get up, content to lay on the floor, on each other.

They talked about the future, what they needed to do to reach it, what they wanted to do once they graduated and left town, some serious, some silly, some plans mixed in with some wishful thinking.

“I’m gonna shave all my hair off right after graduation.” Joan declared, flat on her back, eyes fixed to a certain point in the ceiling where the colour of the wood became lighter, large hands holding Paula’s dark ones.

“Yeah?” The voice was Julia’s, but Lilith couldn’t see her, the girl probably above her, just outside her peripherals along with Colette.

“Yeah! I’m not even gonna wait til we get to San Fran. We can just shave it off in the back of my pick-up truck and huck it at whatever car passes us.”

This earned a snicker from the girls, some of them adding what they’d do if whoever they threw it at decided to pursue them, coming up with outlandish excuses for what to tell the cops ranging from ridiculous ones like “she was shedding” and “the wind just blew it away” to outright slander against whoever the hair hit like “they were following us so we tried to throw them off” and “they actually tried to throw that at us, but it backfired.”

“In all seriousness though, we are not cutting your hair while the truck is running. I don’t want my girlfriend ending up with scissors in her skull.” Paula flipped herself over to lay on her stomach and reached over to twirl a lock of Joan’s hair, not caring enough to prop her body up, letting her cheek press against the ground while the others burst into laughter at the mere mention of scissors.

“We chop it off at some gas station bathroom or we wait til we pull over somewhere to camp for the night and do it there.”

“Aww…” They all lamented the loss of a prank before Colette spoke up.

“We can still chuck it at someone if we braid what we can, cut that off, and shave the rest. Then we can hang the braid from a tree and scare hikers!”

“Hell yes!”

The question of what they wanted to do the moment after graduation made it’s way around the circle, the answers varying from things like “take a nap” to “get wasted” and “yeah, getting wasted sounds good!”

“Hey, Lilith! You’ve been hella quiet, dude.” Julia coaxes from somewhere in the room. “C’mon! tell us about whatever the fuck you feel like doing!”

“Hmm… I think I’m gonna give my grandpa the middle finger and fuck his study up,” She nods to herself, the others made her carry on, telling her to stick it to the man and too count them in with her.

“Yeah!” Lilith laughed, throwing her head back as much as the floor beneath her would allow, adrenaline rushing through her at the mere thought of getting back at the man who had made her life a living hell. “I’m gonna get a knife and just stab his armchair and straight up vandalize all his books and smash that stupid paperweight on his desk!”

The girls cheered and jeered, shouting curses at the man and his bald spot and his cock, joking about everything from erectile disfunction to micro-penises til they devolved into fits of manic, belittling laughter.

From there, they bounced from topic to topic, though they always drifted back to thoughts of tomorrow. It was what made life worth living after all, at least for them.

The sights of the city, the courses they wanted to take, possible part-time jobs, the girls they hoped to meet. (Or at least, the single ones did. Joan and Paula added to this by suggesting cute places where they could go to on dates.)

Eventually though, the question was asked.

“So, anything interesting happen while I was out.”

Lilith could immediately tell that those who could see her from the corner of their eyes were staring, leaving her to recount the week’s events.

She sighed, long and loud and long.

“Buckle up. This gets shitty and it gets shitty fast.”

…

It took a good hour and a half to get through everything, the occasional comments from Joan and Julia not very helpful in keeping it short.

“So, let me get this straight-”

“We’re not!” Julia cut Colette off, giving Joan a high-five while the rest of them groaned.

“As I was saying, in the two weeks that I was gone,” she took a deep breath and spoke again, “Lilith started a fire and met a girl and fell in love and told the girl that she started it because she felt bad about fucking sandwiches also the girl is gay and can’t cope with it, which is why when you almost kissed, like, five days after you met, she freaked out and cried and threatened to blackmail you if you told anyone about what happened, then proceeded to act like nothing happened literally this morning and freaked out again cause she saw your boobs and again, couldn’t cope and had a panic attack during lunch and is now actively rebelling against her mother.”

“I wouldn’t say the panic attack and maybe gay realization and acceptance happened cause of Lilith’s hotness, but like, cause we human?” Paula interjected, still somewhat puzzled on how to put all the admittedly intense happening into words, but being the only one with Eve during the majority of her breakdown, the burden fell to her. “I think she saw how the fact we were lesbians doesn’t change how we’re human and how we weren’t evil like what some sermon taught her or something and had a crisis of faith because of it.”

Colette and Julia, who hadn’t been able to hear this part of the story earlier, stood in stunned silence, jaws dropped, socks knocked off.

“Oh wow. Well, that was…”

“A lot?”

“A mood killer?”

“A really bitchy thing to do?”

“All of the above.”

Lilith only shrugged, the “I-told-you-so” more implied than anything.

The night was drawing to a close, the girls knowing and dreading that soon, eventually, in the next thirty minutes, they’d have to go home.

“I think that’s enough for tonight. They’ll turn the lampposts off at three and it’s not safe out without it.”

“Okay, but one last question, is this girl on our side now or what? I mean, we already know she won’t tell anyone we’re gay cause then Lilith could just tell them that she’s gay too, but is she one of us now?”

They exchanged glances before reaching a unanimous “no.”

“She could be, though. If she apologizes for being a dick and accepts the fact she’s gay, all our problems with her are gone.” Joan added, albeit rather begrudging.

The girls nodded, agreeing once more. They felt sorry for her, yes, especially since they all knew what it was like to be in Eve’s place, but it was no excuse.

With those final statements filled with pity, the night was over.

Dusting themselves off, they sat up slowly and stood on wobbly, somewhat numb legs, they helped each other up, some being pulled to their feet, some leaning on other’s for support. Even when their legs didn’t feel like that of a newborn deer’s, their movements were sluggish. No one wanted the night to end, not even Paula, the one who suggested it. They wanted to stay here and sleep and cuddle and feel safe with each other. But so many good things had already happened that night, and no one wanted to push their luck and potentially jeopardize the plan by getting caught.

They left silently, not a single goodbye uttered, not so much as a wave given.

It was probably for the better.

Lilith knew she’d end up in tears if they had to vocalize their parting. It wasn’t like the other nights where they themselves knew that they had not the means to leave, no matter how much they wanted to. This was different. They enough money to leave whenever they wanted, the only things keeping them back were themselves.

She tried not to dwell on it during the walk home, mind shutting off all internal debates about whether it was sadder to be locked up with no choice or to willingly stay, making what was once a cage you were forced in to that of your own.

Instead, she remembered her friends’ echoing laughter, the familial warmth of their company, memories made not even an hour earlier already filtered with fondness and tinted with nostalgia.

It only served to accentuate her sorrow.

_____________________________

Taglist: @anon-nom-nom95 @leahstypewriter @madame-ree @phillyinthebathroom @melpomenismask @littlemisscalamity @gaypeaches @pirateofblood @i-wanna-be-a-rock @extrabitterbrain

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