#i know many are excluded but that’s because god whispered in my ear and told me to exclude them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fuwushiguro · 3 years

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@themotherofmoons moonieeeee my good sis thank u so much for sending this through!! im FERAL! I hope it was worth waiting for ily xxx

This is part of my Playboy Mansion event which is now closed.

Dabi x f!reader x Mr. Compress

Genre: smut

Warnings: 18+, dubcon // noncon, praise kink, oral (male receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, cum eating, vaginal penetration, spanking, degradation, humiliation, smoking.

Words: 2.5k

Your first Playboy party was finally here, and you were lost. You knew the other bunnies thought you were a little incompetent already, so you didn’t want to ask them for help. They were all sweet girls, you really did like them and enjoy their company, but you had no desire to be laughed at for getting lost again.

How many times have we given you this tour?

Is something you’re sure they’d say to you. It’s at least three times, by the way. In your defence, the mansion is enormous. They probably used to get lost too, you haven’t been working at the mansion for long, tonight was your first event after all. Instead of asking a bunny, an idea hit you. You decided to scan the crowd looking for a guest who might look like they know where they’re going. But you didn’t need to look.

They found you.

How could they resist your big doe eyes and the way you looked so helpless and lost? They’d be criminal to leave you to your own devices. They simply couldn’t forgive themselves if they left you unattended. They approached you casually, and you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned to face them, slightly startled by these two men in your personal space.

“You look a little lost dear.”

“Oh, yeah, that obvious huh?” you smiled, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly.

“Allow us to help you, we’re not shy to these parties after all.” he told you, kindly, smiling at his friend. “This is my friend Dabi,” he gestured to the raven-haired man standing beside him.

“How come you’re lost, doll? Don’t you work here?” Dabi commented as he gestured to your bunny costume.

“This is actually my first Playboy party.” you confessed.

“Is that so?” he smirked; it would have sounded more innocent if not for that arousing rasp to his voice. “Mister and I will be more than happy to show you around.” he added, turning to face his friend once again.

Mister? You were confused by the nickname but decided not to press the subject any further. You weren’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. If they were happy to show you around the mansion, why wouldn’t you let them?

☆ ☆ ☆

You walked around the mansion with them, sandwiched in between their bodies. They were extremely close to you, but you’d been warned before about guests being overly affectionate with bunnies. You didn’t feel uncomfortable with them, it was a welcome feeling to have two gorgeous men fix their attention solely on you. You hadn’t expected to garner anyone’s attention in truth. There were seasoned bunnies here, bunnies that guests specifically came to these events for, to spend their time with, to pay a tip to get extra attention from. You were fresh meat; you’d half expected to just be wandering around with nothing to do all night. But here you were, trapped between the bodies of two handsome strangers.

You were having fun. They seemed to be exceptionally good friends, they had a witty banter, and their words were bouncing off each other. Your stomach hurt from laughing so hard. You didn’t feel excluded from the conversation, you were just enjoying them conversing. They often said something to each other and turned to you with a ‘what do you think?’ look in their eyes, and you did your best to stay neutral in their humorous conversations. All the laughter and joking was cut short when your new friends stopped walking. The three of you were standing face to face with a door. It was a door you didn’t recognise, where did it lead?

“What’s this door?” you questioned them, accompanying your question with a head tilt.

“God. You really are a dumb little bunny, aren’t you?” Dabi hissed.

The words stung. The change in attitude from the man you’d only seconds ago been laughing with made your skin crawl. Your flesh was decorated in goosebumps, and you backed away from the duo, opting to find your co-workers instead.

“No.” he rasped at you as he grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you towards him as he opened the door. You didn’t fight it, you weren’t sure what was happening or where you were going but for some reason you felt comfortable enough with him to let him touch you like this.

You looked at your surroundings in the small room, surprised to see the three of you had found yourselves inside a cloak room.

“Don’t look so bewildered love, we’re happy to explain ourselves if you are wondering why we are here.” Mister told you as he adjusted the cuffs of his shirt. You nodded dumbly, still not understanding what was about to happen.

“We come to these parties and fuck as many bunnies as we can, we share the first one, and tonight that’s you.” Dabi told you, and you knew he was serious. His facial expression and speech didn’t falter once. It wasn’t a joke; it was a fact.

You should be scared. You should be crying. You should be scrambling to get away from them, but you aren’t. Why aren’t you scared? Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since you got some action. It’s been so long since anyone has given you this much attention. Part of you hated how desperate you were for this, but the other part of you was revelling in the fact two men had chosen you to spend their time fucking. So you nodded, a little over enthusiastically, and they smiled.

“Okay. Let’s fuck.” you smiled.

“Are you sure darling? We aren’t monsters, if you don’t want to do this you’re free to go.” Mister alerted you, but you shook your head.

“I said, let’s fuck.”

☆ ☆ ☆

The three of you were on the floor together, barely anything had happened and you were all panting feverishly and your skin was damp with sweat. They’d been kind enough to delicately help you out of your corset, although Dabi looked like he wanted to tear it to shreds. It was against the rules to fuck the guests, so if they had destroyed your costume, it would be fairly obvious what happened. Your first Playboy Party would be your last.

Dabi was still fully clothed, you found yourself between his legs on the floor. He forced your legs apart as he began playing with your pussy, the way his fingers danced over your clit made your legs shake. You did your best to control your moans by kissing him.

“Don’t be shy, I wanna hear how good my fingers make you feel.” he smirked before kissing you again. His free hand grabbed and squeezed your breast, rolling the nub of your nipple between his fingers. The sensations across your body were too delicious for mere words to express. Your hips involuntarily bucked into his fingers, and you couldn’t miss the way he kept smarmily smiling at how perfectly he was working your body.

Mister was sitting by your side, his cock was free from his trousers and you did your best to work his shaft while Dabi expertly fondled your cunt. You knew you could do a better job of working Mister, but you were feeling too blissful to put the extra effort in.

“Don’t be a selfish slut sweetheart, make Mister cum.” Dabi instructed you and he delivered a wet slap to your poor cunt. You turned to face Mister and deeply kissed him as your hand gained more speed whilst you jerked him off. You stopped for a second to spit in your hand and rub it up and down the length of his cock, mixing his precum to properly lubricate him.

Dabi rewarded you by plunging two fingers into your sopping core, you were completely unprepared for the stretch his fingers caused. It terrified you slightly to think what his cock would be like.

“What a good girl she is, huh Compress?” Dabi smirked as he pounded his fingers against the spongy spot deep in your cunt that had you writhing in his hold. He peppered kisses down your neck more lovingly than you’d expected, he was trying to calm you down. “Shush baby, focus. Keep being a good girl and focus on getting Compress off.” he cooed into your ear, his sultry deep voice vibrating through your whole body. His voice alone might be enough to drive you to your orgasm.

“You’re doing such a good job darling, just a little m-more.” Mister stuttered as you continued squeezing his length. Your gazes focus kept switching between Mister’s sultry hazel eyes to his pretty cock head. The way it twitched and the veins pumped made you salivate.

“Wanna suck it.” you whispered to him, feeling bashful at your comment.

The hushed tones didn’t go unnoticed by Dabi who pressed another slap into your cunt, causing you to jolt. “What was that? Speak up doll.” he commanded, you shuddered and gulped.

“I- I wanna suck his cock.” you confessed, looking into his azure eyes. He searched your features and an almost sincere smile sprawled across his face. He nodded as he let you go. You were immediately on Mister’s cock, hollowing out your cheeks and showing them both what a talented good girl you are.

Dabi was amused by the way your little plastic bunny ears moved while you went to town sucking Compress off. He loves bunnies. Party weekends are his favourite, it’s rare he’ll miss one. The no fucking rule is a load of shit, everyone fucks here. Every weekend party is just an excuse for the host to let guests fuck these gorgeous little bunnies. And he wasn’t above taking advantage of that. He unzipped his jeans, and you were startled by the feeling of the tip of his cock sliding up and down your slit.

You didn’t want to turn around and look at his cock, but you knew it was going to be huge. You’d felt his bulge against your lower back while he was fingering you. And you could feel the sensation of his mushroom head running against your sopping folds, you could tell you were in for the pounding of a lifetime.

Mister’s breathing staggered, and you knew you were close to getting him to completion. He looked admirably into your eyes, almost a gaze of pride that you were taking him so perfectly.

“I’m going to cum soon sweetheart, do you want to swallow my cum?” he asked you. You didn’t stop your sucking, instead you did your best to nod while you met his gaze with a lustful glare. You used your hands to jerk off what wouldn’t fit in your mouth, the sensations made him jerk into your hold. You ran your tongue across his prominent veins and the slit of his cock which made him shudder. His fingers locked in your hair, it was a needless action, you had no intention of stopping. Not when he was so close.

“I hope you’re still being a good girl for Compress, doll.” Dabi warned, still tormenting your cunt with nothing more than the tip.

“Mhmm!” was all you could respond. The vibrations of your throat brought Mister closer to the edge. And with a hiss between his teeth, he was finally coming undone in your welcoming mouth. His orgasm was louder than you had expected, he moaned through his high as he spurted his seed into your mouth. It was warm, but not unpleasant. You should have expected someone as well spoken and charming as Mister would have a healthy diet. His cum seemed never ending, you were worried it might start dribbling out of your nose soon. But it did stop, and you swallowed it all. You opened your mouth to show him, proving what a well-behaved girl, you are. And he smiled before pressing his lips against yours. Your tongues explored each other, almost like he wanted to taste himself on your tastebuds.

“How was it Mister? Does she deserve to cum?” Dabi questioned. You didn’t know there was even a doubt in his mind that you deserved to cum. You’re all fucking after all. Don’t you all deserve to cum? But Mister nodded, singing your praises. And with that glowing review, Dabi finally entered your desperate entrance, sucking him in as he buried himself to the hilt. “Your cunt looks gorgeous around my cock like this baby.” he told you, the praise warmed your cheeks. He was so smooth, and the way he pounded into your pussy had you head over heels for him. Compress gently stroked his cock as he watched his friend batter your walls. He was examining every inch of you. The way your pussy sheathed his cock so perfectly, the way your tits bounced with each thrust, the way your face beautifully contorted from the feeling of your gummy walls accommodating his friends fat cock.

“You’re such a whore, letting two strangers fuck you in a closet like this.” Dabi chastised, but the words went straight to your cunt. “Heh, you get off on that shit? You get off on being a whore for me? Your pussy just clamped, slut.” he continued berating you. But all you could do was hum in approval. It was convenient for him that your ass was in the air and your back was arched beautifully, because he doesn’t like being ignored. He spanked you harshly and you snapped back into reality.

“Answer me bitch.” he instructed.

“Y-yes. Dabi’s whore! Wanna be your whore Dabi.” you moaned through the pleasure of him relentless pounding your g-spot.

“She’s so obedient, isn’t she Dabi?” Compress spoke, still stroking himself gently.

“Fuck yeah she is, gonna use this pussy again. Next time we’re here I’ll find you. Gonna fuck your brains out til you can’t think straight.” he told you. You had no objections, you’d be more than happy to do this again. Dabi’s drawl was enough to make your pussy flutter and Mister’s cum was so tasty you could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“D-Dabi… Dabi… Oh f-fuck.” you cried out sweetly, not being able to gather your thoughts as his heavy cock dragged across your needy walls.

“What is it baby, tell me.” he instructed.

“Wanna cum. Wanna cum s’bad. Fill me up, please Dabi. N-need it.” you huffed, sure you might black out any minute from the pleasure.

“Such a fucking whore.” he smiled as he readjusted himself, he was able to hit you at a deeper angle that made you emit a desperate, sinful groan that alerted him to how close you were. “Go on, cream my cock.” he told you.

Your legs shuddered and the two men laughed at your visceral reaction as you came so powerfully. Your walls had Dabi in a vice grip, and you could feel him spilling into you, filling your cunt to the brim with his seed. You were milking him for all he was worth, and his moans were a lot more squeaky and needy than you’d expected them to be. He didn’t stop pounding you, dragging on the wave of your crashing orgasm further and further. You felt so full. His fat cock snuggled so nicely in your cunt as he pushed his cum further inside of you.

Not another word was spoken. You all laid back on the floor, none of you bothering to hide your intimate areas. All completely blissed out as you contemplated what you just did. It was great, it was quite possibly the best fuck of your entire life. It made you eager for the next party. They already mentioned that they wanted to do this again, so you’d be waiting with bated breath until then.

But you weren’t sure if you could wait that long. You looked at Dabi, he had a cigarette latched between his fingers while he enjoyed the afterglow of his orgasm. He shared it with Compress, they both seemed more than happy with themselves.

“Something on your mind princess?” Dabi asked.

You were shocked out of your thoughts, and you debated whether to speak.

Fuck it, life’s too short.

“Wanna go again… Wanna fuck again, please.” you shyly spoke, not able to look either of them in the eye. Dabi snickered as he took his cigarette back from his friend.

“Looks like you’re up, Mister.”

bby thank u so much for participating! i love u the world!!! honestly ur so amazing ur my first tumblr bestie i appreciate u so wholly i hope ur having a wonderful day and i hope u enjoyed getting freaky deeky with dabi and compress, ily sista xxx

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blossom-hwa · 3 years

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a little birdie told me to request surfer san at a party idk what that was about but i do kinda want to see skater boy yeosang there too if you're up for that 👀👀👀 heheheheh love u linaaaa <333

/chants/ surfer san surfer san SURFER SAN thank you very much mai for putting this in my inbox I adore you <3 skater yeosang will be up next so I hope you enjoy what I end up spitting out for that one too !

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

Set in the same universe as Kickflip (My Heart) (skater!Yeosang) and Hey, Hey - Let Me Kiss You (surfer!Juyeon) :)

I’m gonna cry this ended up being way longer than I thought it’d be but you know what I’m 100% turning this into a full scenario so fuck it it’ll be as long as it has to be

Title: Truth or Dare

Pairing: San x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 2.2k

Triggers: cursing, alcohol, shirtless woosan for a hot minute, implications of sex towards the end (NOTHING GRAPHIC)

Okay, so in hindsight, maybe coming to Hongjoong's party knowing you were going to be here was a mistake. In his defense, the water probably wasn’t out of his ears when he told Wooyoung he would come, despite the latter having told him specifically you were going to be there. It probably caused some temporary brain damage. That, and San has never really made the best decision when it comes to crushes.

Especially you. You’ve been the worst so far. Around all of the others, he’s been able to keep a measure of his confidence, able to flirt a little and initiate something here or there, if it’s reciprocated. But you...

You’re something else. Always have been, ever since Hongjoong introduced him to you in all your gorgeous glory. Which is probably why Wooyoung looked so surprised that San agreed to come without much trouble - he probably thought San would be chicken out immediately and he’d have to convince him.

San’s here, though, several drinks in and very much buzzed if not drunk, sitting in a circle of people that includes you. Even five or six drunk adults away, San can feel his face heating up when you look in his direction and throw him a wink with that gorgeous smile spread across your face.

His heart thumps a little faster.

“You look like an idiot,” Wooyoung hisses, jabbing him in the side. “What did I tell you about playing hard to get?”

San rolls his eyes. “Since when did your advice ever make enough sense for me to take it?”

Wooyoung huffs. “You look like a lovesick idiot,” he sniffs.

San doesn’t deign to reply.

“Okay, okay.” Hongjoong comes back from wherever he was and settles between Seonghwa and Mingi, a bottle in hand. “Shut up, everyone. We’re playing truth or dare.”

Someone raises an eyebrow. “What is this, high school?”

“The way you all act, I wouldn’t be surprised.” San stifles a laugh at your reply.

“Says you.” Hongjoong snorts.

You grin. “Did I ever exclude myself?”

Everyone breaks into laughter that Hongjoong has to calm before setting the bottle in the middle of the circle. “Rules are the same. Spin the bottle, if it lands on you, pick truth or dare. If you chicken out, take a shot.” He raises an eyebrow. “Got it?”

They all get it, even the ones who look a little like they’re on the way to passing out, and so truth or dare begins.

It’s fun. That might just be because San has been drinking, but when Seonghwa is dared for the second time to write some gross in the air with his butt, he and Wooyoung are falling over each other with tipsy laughter. Hiccuping with giggles, San answers a question about who in this room he’d lick peanut butter off of - “Hongjoong, I like his body.” - and then takes off his shirt for five turns and keeps it off because it’s kind of hot, anyway, and he doesn’t really want to bother putting it back on. Wooyoung isn’t much better - he got dared to take off his pants but Seonghwa forced Yunho to amend it to his shirt, and San pats his friend’s pecs affectionately before the next person goes.

Eventually, the bottle lands on you. You raise an eyebrow. “Truth.”

“Is there someone you like in this room?” Mingi blurts.

There’s a chorus of groans, complaints of ‘Okay, this is too high school for me,’ and ‘For real, Mingi? Seriously?’, but San’s attention is on you and the way your expression has turned slightly uncertain for the first time tonight. You bite your lip, staring at the shot glass in your hand like you’re really contemplating chickening out, but then your eyes flicker up and in his direction.

San’s breath catches in his throat. You didn’t look at him. You definitely didn’t. That was just coincidence. Don’t get your hopes up, San.

“Alright, alright, shut up.” You raise your voice above the noise of people teasing Mingi. “The answer is yes. I do.”

The complaints turn into oooooohs and wolf whistles and ‘Who is it? Who is it?’ but you’ve already got the bottle in hand and are spinning it in the center of the circle. San barely notices, even when Wooyoung’s hand squeeze his knee - who is the person that you like? There’s like fifteen or twenty people here. It could be any one of them. It’s probably Yeosang. He’s pretty and everyone has had a crush on him at least once. Or Seonghwa? Maybe even Wooyoung?

Cheers erupt all around him and San looks up, startled, to see you glaring at the bottle like it personally wronged you in a past life.

Because it’s pointing at you again.

“Truth or dare, Y/N?” someone yells.

Next to you, Yeosang whispers something in your ear. Your eyes widen. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but I would.” Yeosang grins.

You glare at the bottle some more. “Dare.”

“Everyone shut up, I’ve got this.” San watches in confused silence as Yeosang sits up. “Y/N...” A grin that looks more suited to Wooyoung spreads across his lips. “I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in this room.”

San’s heart drops with every second that passes. He wants it to be him, badly wants it to be him, but in a room full of people who look like Seonghwa, who look like Dahyun, who look like Juyeon and Chaeyoung and Yeosang and - god, San can’t even list all of the names -

How would it ever be him?

You make a very rude gesture to Yeosang that has everyone cracking up, but you don’t eye the shot glass this time. Instead, you throw your shoulders back and let your eyes rake over the room.

“Wooyoung.”

San’s heart drops. Of course it’s Wooyoung, his best friend in every life, one of the prettiest people San himself has ever laid eyes on -

“Move over.” Suddenly, you’re up in San’s face, pushing Wooyoung away. He blinks. When did you come all the way over here? But he doesn’t even have time to ponder the answer to that question because your smile is so close, now, just half a foot separating your lips, and you’re reaching out a hand to cup his cheek and San is short-circuiting as you say -

“Stop me if you don’t want this, okay?”

San blinks. Don’t want what? His heart is beating so fast, faster even than when he catches the highest wave of the afternoon, you’re so close and this is all he’s ever wanted, why would you even imply that this is something he doesn’t want -

Your lips press against his, and San’s mind goes blank.

You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him. You’re kissing him because you think he’s the prettiest person in the room - he, San, Choi San, surfer boy who turned into a mess the day Hongjoong introduced him to you - you think he, of all people in the room, is the prettiest -

It occurs to him that he’s still shirtless. He doesn’t exactly know what to do with that information.

You pull away and San gasps for breath, eyes staring wide into yours. You smile at him softly, lips slightly swollen with the kiss, and like he’s underwater, San can kind of hear everyone screaming and whistling and whatever in the background, but when you speak, suddenly, everything is crystal clear.

“Was that okay?” you whisper.

Yes. Yes. Oh, God, yes - San nods once, twice, three times and then blushes when your smile grows wider and the sparkle he likes so much turns brighter in your eye.

Nothing he’s ever seen could be more beautiful than you right now, eyes sparkling and lips smiling under the dim lights of the party, pulling him forward for a second kiss.

. . .

The rest of the night passes in a blur. Truth or dare ends, San takes another couple of shots, and you’re somehow by his side the entire time until the party’s over. Both of you stay behind to help clean up a bit, but at around two, Seonghwa shoos the rest of you home, and Wooyoung meets up with San by the door to walk back to the apartment.

“Move it, Woo.” You appear again, shoving Wooyoung out of the way. “I’m sure San won’t mind if I walk him home instead.”

A horrible grin splits Wooyoung’s features and he nods quickly, giving San a very unsubtle wink made worse by the fact that he drank way more than San did after the game. “Sannie, do you mind?” he asks. Then, not waiting for an answer, he loops an arm through Yeosang’s, who looks very confused. “I’ll see you at home! Or not!”

You and San walk out of the house in silence, mostly because San has too many thoughts at the moment and they’re all jumbling up into one big mess. The euphoria from kissing you earlier has worn off slightly as the alcohol left his system - he’s mostly sober now - which means he’s thinking. Too much.

“San.” You look over at him, a streetlamp lighting your face. “Come on, I won’t bite.” You smile. “If you have something to ask me, you can say it.”

He blinks. Blinks again. Then, as though your words unleashed a flood in his brain, he asks -

“Did you really think I was the prettiest person in the room?”

You stare at him, eyes narrowed and surprisingly lucid given how the party went. “Yes, I did. I still do.”

Oh. Oh, okay. San feels a little like he needs to sit down. So the kiss wasn’t just a one time thing - you’d do it again, probably, if he’s interpreting your words correctly -

“Why?”

This time, you look a little incredulous when the word leaves his mouth. Then you shake your head. “You really don’t think you’re beautiful, do you.” It isn’t a question.

San ducks his head. For all his usual surfer bravado, the confident face and smile he presents when he’s about to hit the waves, he can’t seem to find the courage to look at you in this moment, to let you really see everything brewing behind his eyes.

Fingers settle under his chin and tip it up so that he’s looking at you again. “I don’t bite, San,” you remind him again, still smiling. “I happen to think you’re very pretty. Beautiful. And even though I still want to slap Yeosang over the head, I’m very glad he gave me the opportunity to show that tonight.” Your fingers walk upwards to cup his cheek the same way you did when you kissed him. “In case you were wondering, by the way, you were the one I was talking about when I said I liked someone. And I didn’t only kiss you just because you were shirtless.”

A small smile settles on San’s face. It’s strange, the way you seem to be able to read his mind without him saying anything, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it. “I like you too.”

“I know. It was a little obvious.” You laugh when San whines, going red under your touch. “I wanted to say something before, kind of ever since I saw you in that wetsuit when Hongjoong introduced us, but it felt like I’d scare you away.” You raise an eyebrow. “Am I scaring you away now?”

Are you scaring him? A little, kind of, but not in a bad way. It’s more like you thrill him, make his heart race faster and faster the longer your fingers linger on his skin. You’re not scaring him away. If anything, you’re scaring him towards you - it’s weird, but that’s the only way San can describe it. He shakes his head. “No.”

“Good.” You grin. “Because if I was scaring you, you probably wouldn’t want to kiss me, and right now I really want to kiss you again.”

Your lips meet once, twice, three times under the dull glare of the lamp on the empty street, San’s arms settling around your waist, your hands coming up to wrap around his neck. When you break away after the third kiss, eyes hooded and lips swollen enough to make San’s mouth go dry, a soft glint appears in your expression. “Want to come home with me?” you ask. “My roommate’s out of town.” San follows the movement of your eyelashes as you blink. It’s captivating. “Feel free to say no. I won't take offense.”

If it were anyone else, San doesn’t know if he’d believe them. He might stop it here politely, even tipsy as he is, and ask to just go back to his place instead. But he trusts you. Has trusted you from the day he met you. Because nothing in your words or your face ever seems to mask a lie, and besides, his fingers are itching to find their way up your shirt and somewhere else as he kisses you again and again -

He kisses you, laughing against your lips. “I guess I should let Wooyoung know I’m not coming back tonight.”

“Oh, he’ll get the message even if you don’t say anything.” Your grin is brighter than the stars. “Come on, pretty boy.” You kiss him again. “Let me show you how beautiful I think you are.”

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futurewriter2000 · 3 years

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Heartless - pt. 3

It has been okay. You had been okay.

You woke up, went to wash yourself, went to breakfast, had your morning coffee, went back to your room, turned on the music, cleaned your room and went to read or draw. You had taken drawing again, sketching a bit and despite the fact you weren’t much pleased at the results, you got better through the days. Sometimes you would grab a book and drown in it, even if it wasn’t your genre but sometimes drowning yourself in a book, whose main character had a miserable life, still made you forget about yourself.

You heard laughter and ruckus down the hall, running, chasing and then barging into your room.

You didn’t even look up from your book. “Can’t the two of you knock?” you said coldly, flipping a page.

“Hey, I was thinking if you wanna go to the town with us- get some ice cream-”

“No.” you said as your finger trailed down your lines.

“Why not?” James’ smile faded as he didn’t see any reaction from you. “You’ve been stuck in this room all the time, I barely-”

“I’m feeling a bit under the weather, James. Maybe next time.” you cut him off, still not looking at him.

They were both looking at you for a few moments before backing out of your room and closing the door behind you. As you heard them leave, you took a deep sigh and closed your eyes.

You pushed the book away and laid on your stomach, just closing your eyes for a bit to rest. The pain in your lower back sometimes really exhausted you, so as you felt another strong stab, you got up, went to the bathroom and shuffled through your dad’s medical box.

You wanted to take just one pill but seeing as you always had to walk to the bathroom and then back to your room just for these pills, you just grabbed a whole bottle and left the bathroom but as you did so, you bumped into someone.

“Woopsie, daisy.” he said as he pressed his hand on your hip to prevent you from tripping over your own two feet but quickly let go as you were already standing steadily. “Sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

“It’s alright.” you brushed him off and went to your room, running your hand through your hair and yawning.

Sirius could sense something in his gut and he didn’t know what exactly it was. Trusting his gut as usual, he had decided to follow you to your room. He knocked and opened the door, finding you taking a pill and a glass of water. As you swallowed it, you grimaced, putting the glass back and looking at him with a quirk of eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” he stepped in, glancing at the box of pills.

“Drugs.” you teased, smirking at him before seeing his eyes narrow at you. “Calm down, Sherlock. It’s just some pain killers for my back.” you answered, putting your hands on your back and massaging the spots.

He walked to your night stand and took the box into his hands. “Ibuprofen?”

“Can you not touch them?” you said more sharply.

He looked at you from the corner of his eyes, observing as he gently placed the box back down. “Do you parents know your taking these?”

You let out a laugh, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as you leaned back. “Look at you big brother number two.” you continued to smile. “Bossy.”

“You’re not answer-”

“God, Sirius- I don’t owe you explanations. Yes, I told my dad I’m taking these for back pain and no they are harmless. 1- 3 pills a day and that’s it. Sometimes I even take them for my period cramps.” you stood up and started to push him out of your room. “Now, please leave me alone and go back to my family.” and with that you slammed the door into his face and leaned on it.

He felt his heart sunk, standing his ground. He heard you breathe on the other side of the door; heavily. He wanted to knock again but his hand only rested on the door. “I’m not trying to take them away from you, (y/n).” he said gently, almost apologetically. “I’m not trying to replace you.” he continued but you didn’t answer to him. He couldn’t hear you breathe as heavy but he knew you were still there, listening to him... still there on the other side of the door, holding your breath instead.

“PADS! YOU COMING?!” both of you heard James shout downstairs.

Sirius looked straight at the door, almost as if he was seeing you being there. He really wanted you to like him since the beginning he met James but you were just never interested and he didn’t know why. Why were you so hard to win over?

“PADS?!”

“Coming!” Sirius shouted, pushing himself away and taking slow steps towards the stairs. He glanced back at the door to your room and ran his hand through his hair.

Finally, as he left, you felt yourself that you could breathe again. There were so many things you wanted to say to him but you were so afraid of letting people know- just afraid that even if you said how you felt about this whole situation, of how alone and ignored you feel by the whole family that they will not listen. Because they never do listen, they never even try to understand that was why your pain, either internal or external was always kept inside of you alone.

They didn’t even want to tell you why he is here. It was like you were a child. Why were they always excluding you from everything. They said they had invited Sirius over the summer but you just didn’t believe them. You chose to just pass it by. You don’t care about Sirius, you care about yourself and that’s how it should be.

So as you glanced through the window, seeing the gorgeous sun shine among the trees, you went back to the bathroom to put some makeup on, do your hair, change clothes as you went back to your dorm and grab your sketchbook and pencils, as well as your paperback before you left.

You came down smiling, running your way to your dad and giving him your pleading grin.

He looked up from his newspaper, quirking the corner of his lips before pulling down his glasses and ask. “What is it, child?”

---

James and Sirius barged in the living room to make themselves known they are home. Laughing and pushing each other, they made their way to the kitchen to only find Euphemia on the sofa, taking a nap.

One whispering over the other, they made their way to the kitchen to find Fleamont but nobody was there. They went back to the porch and found two distant figures by the tree.

“Is that your them?” Sirius narrowed his eyes and so did James, despite he had glasses on, he still couldn’t see right.

“What are they doing?” he started walking towards the two of you, finding you laying on the net and laughing to whatever your father was telling you. “Hey, you two! We’ve been searching hills and seas for the two of you.”

Both of you turned to see at the source of voice, seeing your brother walking through the tall grass, Sirius right behind him.

“Blimey!” James beamed as he saw two nets swinging down from the tree branches. “Are those what I think they are?!” he ran to the two of you, getting between the nets, the two of you swung on and rocking the both of you.

“James, my boy. How was out in the town.” your father asked from his side. “

“Dull and boring. What about you?”

“Ah! Your sister asked me to put the nets back on since it was nice and sunny here. We’ve just been enjoying each other’s company.” he smiled, resembling James’ toothy grin.

“Alright- which one of you is gettin off?” he rocked both of you hard, almost making you lose your balance.

You laughed, grabbing James’ hand and pushing it away. “I’m not going anywhere! This is my net, get your own.”

“Don’t worry, son. I have to check up on your mother anyway.” he said as he placed his feet on the ground and stood up with a grunt.

“Getting old, old man.” James teased, throwing himself on his net as your father turned around.

“Who you calling an old man?” he said, swinging James net so hard, he almost fell off it. “When you’ll be old as me, I’ll see how you’re holding up.” he trotted away, tapping Sirius’ back as he did and whispering something into his ear.

Sirius blushed hard when your father moved away, letting out a few laughs but before you could contemplate about those secret words, you felt your brother rocking your net.

“Hey, (y/n)?” he said, placing his hands under his head but looking straight at you. “Remember when we first got these and we always used to sleep in them during summer?”

You let out a laugh, reminiscing. “Yeah. Mum always brought us blankets but when we got bitten by the mosquitos, she forbid us to sleep again.”

“She was just being paranoid.” James brushed it off, closing his eyes and rocking on the sunlight. “I almost forgot how great this feels like.”

You kept looking at him, smiling to yourself as a nostalgia washed over you. “Me too.”

Sirius silently made his way towards you, standing behind you and looking down on your sketchbook. It was a laughing sketch of your dad, laying on the net. “This is pretty good.” he said, leaning down to see a closer look.

Frightened by his sudden appearance, you felt your heart jump before realising what he had said. You looked down on the sketch and tilted your head. “Thanks but I messed up the nose.”

Sirius laughed and made his way to your feet, sitting down and then laying opposite of you. “May I?” he reached out his hand towards your sketchbook as you narrowed your eyes skeptically.

“Sure but don’t you dare ruin it or I will ruin you.” you said, giving him your sketchbook.

“No doubt about that.” he flashed you a grin, making your eyes roll. “Am I in here?” he looked up again, flipping through the pages and then closing the whole book as there was no apparence of him.

You let out a laugh, getting back your sketchbook and putting it on the ground next to you. “You wish.”

“Oh, hell. I thought girls always draw the guy they fancy.” he wiggled his eyebrows but you only laughed harder.

“Oh, you think I fancy you?”

“Dont’ you?”

“In your dreams, Black.” you continued to laugh, looking away and then back at him as he observed you with this daring look in his eyes you had never seen on him before. “Why are you staring at me?”

“Can’t I look at you now?”

“Why? So you can make fun of me?”

“You make me sound like a bad guy?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Oh, please, (y/n). I may be an arse but that doesn’t mean I’m always out there to get you.”

“A little hate dynamic between us never seems to go away.”

“Ah, so you admit you hate me.”

“I do not hate you.” you rolled your eyes again, this time to look at James, who was tightly asleep, letting it quiet snores. “I forgot he always fell asleep in these.”

Brushing off your comment about James, he leaned forward and persisted on the topic. “Yes, you do. Admit it. You hate me for no appearant reason.”

“Oh, there are plenty reasons of why I avoid you, Sirius Black.”

“Avoid me?”

“Avoid you like a plague.”

“That’s harsh.” he leaned back, furrowing his eyebrows.

“It’s a joke. Don’t take it personal.” you rolled your eyes again, which by now started to irritate him a bit. “You’re just someone I don’t like being around of. You’re not my type of company.”

“Not your type of company?” he laughed despite how much that bruised his ego.”Then what is your type?”

“I like someone who is fun but in a gentler way, without any harsh jokes about other people’s apparence or character. I like being around someone who makes me laugh, not by making fun of me but by being funny in general. Someone who will not force me to smoke or drink or force me into an uncomfortable situation. I like someone who pushes me to be better, who listens and just someone I can be myself around.” you started to trail off, stopping yourself before you could open yourself up completely.

You saw that his eyes were watching you differently again. Not like before or before that before but they were a bit... ashamed.

You felt guilt bubble in your stomach. Maybe you were too harsh to him- too blunt instead of gentle but sometimes it was really hard to engage your emotions to your words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.” you looked away as he looked up at you. “I’m not trying to offend you by saying that because you aren’t all of that-”

“But I’m that to James, aren’t I?” he said, glancing at the sleeping boy next to you. “A bad influence?”

“I didn’t say that. James is old enough to make his choices of who he wants to be friends with. Maybe you are good for James and maybe he feels that- I know the two of you are close and care about each other. The two of you are perfect, if I’m honest. It’s just... you’re not my kind of cup of tea, Sirius.”

“Cup of tea- nice metaphor.” he smiled through the discomfort. Not your cup of tea... What’s that even supposed to mean? - he thought.

It was a sudden change in his emotions, feeling what he had felt; anger, fury even. How could you just say that to him- he looked at you, glaring you down as you only gave him eyes, filled with cold ice. You didn’t even show your emotions- not like you did before when your father was around. The way you laughed with him, with James- how loose and relaxed you were up until he came and suddenly you froze up like an ice cube. Why would you think of him like that? You don’t even know him- not like James knows him. You’re judgemental and think highly of yourself, don’t you?

“I’m going back in.” you said, placing your feet on the ground and seeing Sirius turn his head away from you. “Don’t hold your grudge for too long, Sirius. We’ve still got two months and a whole year at Hogwarts to spend together.”

“I’m a patient man.” he grit his teeth as you let out a laugh, ruffling his hair playfully as you passed him by.

“See you inside.” you said and started walking away, looking up at the stars that slowly started to appear on the sky.

You felt a smile turn on your face, for the first time since Sirius came, you felt a sincere smile on your cheeks. Today was a good day, despite the uncomfortable discussion between you and Sirius. Of course, you didn’t like being around him but at the same time you didn’t want to be around James either. It’s not that you hated them, it’s that you were different than them. You just didn’t like the same things as they did and sometimes you got along, sometimes you didn’t get along but you have known Sirius since you were eleven and as much as you didn’t want to admit to yourself, you cared about him. He spent more time with you and your family than he ever did with his and one thing your remembered from the night he turned at your doorstep, with those eyes that just screamed ‘keep me safe’. Yes, you were not happy at first when he came but it didn’t take a genius to see that when somebody needs to feel safe, you give them that safety. He maybe took your safety away from you by being here but what was your family supposed to do? Throw him out on the cold?

“(y/n)-” you felt somebody take a hold of your hand and you found yourself looking up in your eyes. The two of you were far away from James, far away from your house as well, right in between. “You’re limping. Are you okay?”

It was just like that. From the girl, he was not long ago pissed at, to the girl who brought him here; to caring.

“It’s my back. Laying there made it a bit uncomfortable.” you smiled- for the first time you smiled at him and you didn’t know how that happened and where it came from because you never smiled as sincerely to him as you did now. Maybe it was something in the night; below the stars and among the gentle summer breeze that made the tall grass brush your skin.

And you knew he was surprised by your smile as well, mostly because it was never directed to him.

Maybe tonight you didn’t have it in you to be cold and distant. Maybe tonight, you wanted to feel a bit warm and not alone. Just for tonight, you felt to let your guard down because it was exhausting always having it up.

“Don’t you think it’s time to go to the Healer for that back?” he smiled back.

“It’s just some muscle strain. I won’t die.”

“But I can see you hurting.” he said in a low, concerned voice that made you quirk an eyebrow at him.

Why did that feel so real?

Why did that make your heart jolt?

“Sirius Black? Caring?” you started to tease a bit, pushing him away. “Go back to James. Mosquitos are going to eat him alive out here. And I’ll see you inside.” you said and started to walk back to the house but he pulled you by the hand again.

“(y/n)-” he came close again, this time more vulnerable. If he has come this far, if he felt this was the time to tell you, then he will. What’s the worst that can happen? He dies? No- he won’t die by telling you the truth but maybe telling you the truth will make you understand and maybe... love him more.

“Yes?” you looked at him with your eyes in a playful postion, the one he is used to work with when he’s talking to you- always joking around , teasing, insulting one another. But there was something tonight that made those eyes especially beautiful and feel his heart flutter in his chest.

“The reason I’m here...” he said, placing your hand inbetween his palms. “And I’m not telling you to feel pity towards me- or any sorts of self-”

“Sirius?” you furrowed your eyebrows. You weren’t use to this- to him being real and tonight, he was all but that. “What is it?” you spoke softly.

The softness of your voice felt like a gentle caress to his ears. Oh, how wonderful it felt with your voice so soft- like a petal on a flower and he was that flower, who needed that petal.

“I’m here because I ranaway from home- I... uh... I got disowned and before they went any further- I-uh- I ran.” he looked up at your eyes, finding them softly looking at him and somehow, that felt even better than hearing the softness of your voice. Now he felt like your eyes were caressing his soul, holding it, being so close to it, it made him float. You got that power over him. Everything he held, resided in your eyes- that’s how he felt because you were the only one he knew, who could make him feel like that... the only one on his mind from tonight on.

You put your hand on his cheek that slowly started to grow hair, a rough stubble scratching your palm. He leaned into it, feeling just how warm you felt, just how perfect your touch was on his. “And you came here..” you smiled as he looked at you with a bit terrified eyes. “Because this is where you’re safe.” you smiled even wider and he smiled as well, this time with relief.

“Yeah.” he put his hand on top of yours, taking it closer to his lips and kissing it.

It made your heart to another jolt, your stomach twirl inside of you.

“Thank you for understanding.” he said, looking at you with those grey eyes that felt so blue in the night.

You pulled him into a close embrace, stepping on your tiptoes as you did and pulling him down. “Thank you for telling me.”

He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you up until your toes didn’t feel the ground underneath. His head was buried in your neck and his nose could smell the wonderful coconut cream you use every day. He could devour it if he could hug you every day like this.

How he prayed to the stars above that this is a start to a new beginning...

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagines #james potter #james potter imagine #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders imagines #marauders era #marauders fanfiction

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jocazep · 3 years

Text

In the Whole Wide Train | Chapter 11

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Reader (Jo, OFC), slight Edgar x Reader

Warnings: Major spoilers for SNOWPIERCER, dystopian society and its countless problems, mentions of forced abortions, language, violence, deaths, slow burn, eventual smut

Synopsis: Having grown up in the Front Sections of the Snowpiercer, you venture down the train when a rare opportunity presents itself, but the excursion quickly changes flavor when you arrive in the Tail Section.

A/N: Sooooo it's been a while... mainly because I didn't want to write the inevitable [SPOILER] of a certain character...but alas, the fanfic must go on. So here we go again...

Taglist: Now closed

Series Masterlist

Chapter 11 - Breaking Bread

“I forgot to ask,” you reached out to grab Curtis’ right arm as the gang shuffled along the green aisles of the garden section.

“What?” Curtis was too busy looking at the overwhelming plants, trees, and vegetables that he thought had long been extinct in the world. It was a beautiful sight, you had to admit, especially compared with the monotone bleakness of the tail section. So beautiful that when Namgoong opened the door, everyone’s eyes, with the sole exception of Mason’s, lit up as this unimaginable paradise was presented to them.

“That little scar on your forearm--”

“It’s nothing--” you felt his arm stiffen beneath your hand, his left hand involuntarily scratching the coat over the position of the scar. To be honest, you could barely remember what it looked like anyway. In the heat of passion last night, your eyes caught a long, even line near the elbow that looked more like the remnant of a precision surgery than a battle scar.

“All right, keep your mysterious cool guy aura then,” The scar piqued your interest, but you decided against pushing for an answer--there will be time after the matter at hand... You grabbed tighter onto his arm, tip-toeing to place your lips near his ear and whisper, “Tease.”

Curtis turned around, surprised. You didn’t need to forego all the fun, right?

“No, no, no don’t eat that--” a worker reached out to Tanya, who had picked up a tomato.

“It’s OK, just a tomato.” You calmed the worker down, rolling up your sleeve, “Here use my credit.” The worker took out the scanner, still hesitant, but obliged you. A small beep sounded and you were on your way.

“What was that?” It was Curtis’ turn to be curious.

“Well up front we have this thing called currency--” you joked, but the sight ahead distracted your audience.

You had come to the aquarium section.

Moments later, the eight of you were sitting along the sushi bar, staring at the plates of exquisite raw fish in front of you.

“So, sushi.“ Tanya took up her serving and popped it into her mouth.

“You people are lucky! This is only served twice a year, January, and July,” Mason decided this was a good time to open her mouth.

“Why, not enough fish?” Tanya quibbed dryly, as a massive manta flowed overhead.

“Enough isn’t the criterion,” You absent-mindedly took over the conversation from Mason as you poured the soy-sauce for your toro nigiri, “It’s balance--”

You lift your head to put back the soy-sauce, only to realize everyone to your right was looking your way, waiting for you to finish your thought.

“What about balance?” Curtis, sitting to your left, asked.

You whipped your head back, a quick moment as you looked at the man--he will need to know sooner or later, right?

“Be...because of that--” you pointed to the whiteness outside, the remnants of a metropolis whipping past, “the only way this aquarium was going to survive, was by becoming a closed ecological system. The number of individual units must be very closely, precisely controlled in order to maintain the proper, sustainable balance.”

“Like so many other things on this train.”

You passed a stern look to Mason, who was bitterly fiddling with the iron around her wrists.

“Whoever designed this got really lucky then,” Namgoong commented.

“Oh no, back in the first year my--” you caught yourself before the word “father” slipped out, “my friends told me they had to get rid of the fish that couldn’t fit into the food chain...”

“What, the restaurant served exclusively fish?” Curtis could almost hear Edgar’s ranting in his ear.

“Some,” You picked at the wasabi, smearing it on your sushi, “a lot of them got made into taxidermies for posterity...” It was only after the room became quiet that you realized you misspoke, “I’m sorry...It was...”

“It’s all right, it’s what actually happened,” Curtis put his arm on your shoulder, pulling you closer towards him.

You couldn’t let it go that easily of course. Remember your surroundings, you were bothered that your father’s voice rang up in your head. But the truth was you probably needed a reminder, after such a long time with the revolters, it’s easy to forget what you were really here for. Better now than later.

But it seemed the meal was just destined to go awry--no sooner had Mason picked up her chopsticks, than Curtis pulled on the chain, jerking the tools out of Mason’s control.

“No,” Curtis palmed out a protein bar, waving it in front of Mason, “You eat this. Know what it’s made of?”

Mason took it up, and threw a quick look at you, only to realize you had pre-empted her by turning your attention to Yuna sitting to your right.

“Curtis my friend, this seems uncalled for--“

“I’m not your friend, and this is 100% called for.”

”Would I be your friend if I had classified information about Wilford?“

Uh-oh. You forced yourself to turn your head--naturally and slowly--towards Curtis and Mason, “Curtis...” You lay your hand on his, and shook your head.

You could swear you saw his nostrils flare up a little, “We have had to eat this for, hell you have had to eat this for--”

“But isn’t the point of the revolt--”

“The point,” Curtis wriggled his hand from underneath yours, and flung the protein bar at Mason, “is to make them pay for what they did to us--”

“Make them pay? Weren’t we fighting for equal quality--“

“Not after what they did to Edgar--”

“How is degrading Mason any help?”

“At least I’ll sleep a little better knowing I made one front-sectioner get a taste of their own medicine.”

The words hung like leaden rings in the air, reverberating through your spine. Mason looked on, unsure how to react.

“Well,” after a long while, you finally opened your mouth, “then let that be me instead.”

Curtis, like everyone else, was taken aback. They watched as you reached out, switching the protein bar with your own sushi serving.

“Jo, that’s not what Curtis meant...” Tanya tried to diffuse the situation, but you ignored her, biting down on the brownish jelly, forcing the rubbery morsels down your throat. It tasted even worse than you remembered.

When you couldn’t stomach any more of the protein bar, you stuffed the rest in your pocket, got to your feet, and walked to the far end of the aquarium.

Curtis made a move to follow you, but Tanya stopped him, “let her blow off a little steam.” Curtis nodded, still hesitant, his eyes trailing your footsteps as they quickened the closer you moved towards the restroom.

Yuna ran past, intent on following you, but was met with the slamming of the steel door in her face. She looked back at Curtis and company, a little confused and hurt.

On the other side of the door, you were puking your guts out, eyes welling up, nose running. It wasn’t just the thought of eating protein extracted from millions of locusts that turned your stomach--the little clash had brought a stern reality check in your head: this is a revolt, and whatever the original intent, if Curtis and Co succeed, there will be suffering and chaos before any sort of balance is reached.

Guess the old man was pretty perceptive after all...you thought as you finally straightened up, wiping your face with water, trying to recall what your father had planned in case the revolt went further than the water section, only to realize Wilford had actively excluded you from that conversation.

You were wondering if he had predicted your eventual realization of the irreconcilable conflict between your visions of change and those of the revolt when a gentle knock sounded at the door. You checked your face in the mirror, forcing an air of nonchalance—you don’t want Curtis to think you had been crying, even if it was just from nausea.

“Are you OK?” It was Yuna’s voice coming through the door.

Eyes dropping a little, you pulled opened the door, “yeah, just nature calling. What’s up?”

Yuna raised the same wrinkled notebook page, pointing at the pencil-colored steel drawers.

“Yes we’ve been through this—“ Yuna pushed the paper closer to you, forcing you to take a closer look. There were shallow indents on the page, remnants of your notes when you made your way down the train.

Oh god. You panicked as you scrambled to remember what you might have written on those pages.

“Yuna, listen—“

“Guys, c’mon, we are moving onto the next section.” Tanya called out.

You nodded in her direction, and looked down at Yuna, “we’ll revisit this?” Yuna put the paper back into her pocket and followed you to join the gang.

As the two of you approached, Curtis tried to find your eyes. He wished he could say that he didn’t mean what he said, but he knew you saw the truth behind the hot-blooded words. Years of oppression had created a beast within him, and it was easy to hate the front-sectioners when they were faceless beings living in his head, or the pompous Mason. But now...

To be honest he had stopped thinking of you as a front-sectioner since well before your passionate evening together. Which makes it all the more frustrating when you chose to remind him of the undeniable fact, stirring awake the beast he thought he had put to sleep. He knows it’s not your fault—you were barely out of school when you boarded the train. And it is terribly difficult for him to imagine the courage it took for you to side with him against your family and friends—goodness he had never thought about that before. Do you still have family in the front--

His train of thought came to a grinding halt as you walked past him, determined not to look at him. Curtis felt his brows furrow further, and jerking the chain, pulled Mason forward.

“Curtis my friend, could we dispense with the chains for the next section?”

“Why?” A half-distracted answer from Curtis as he watched you push the door open with Namgoong and Grey, heading into the freezer section.

“Well, for the sake of the young, the children--“ Mason was barely finished with her sentence when you walked over, taking off your overcoat and draping it over her cuffs.

”What do you think you’re doing?“ Curtis didn’t sound too pleased.

“It’s the school section next,” you said as you strode to the front of the procession again, “kids shouldn’t be a part of this.”

The silence game between you and Curtis continued throughout the freezer section please, you walking at the front, him trailing in the back with Mason. You started fidgeting as you walked past the racks of beef and frozen chickens—maybe giving Mason your coat wasn’t such a great idea. But you were not going to give Curtis the satisfaction, so you did the only thing you could do, walk faster.

“Hey, spoiled lady, wanna slow the fuck down?” Namgoong never actually learned your name, which doesn’t really make a difference to your really...

“Sorry, I’m just not very good with cold.” You said as you slowed your steps until you were in the same footing as the disheveled security specialist.

“Then you’re fucked in this world.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “yeah guess I am...” Then you remembered something, “Why does the Yekaterina Bridge mean so much to you?”

“What?”

“I saw you looking for something through the windows when everyone was hanging on for dear life. Must have been pretty important to you...”

A moment of silence as Namgoong stopped his steps. You kept your eyes on him, waiting for an answer. He let out a sigh, raising a hand, “you wanna swipe your implant to open the door, or should I?”

You turned your head—and see the door at the end of the section.

When the rest of the company finally caught up to you and Namgoong, Curtis noticed your fidgeting hands as they raised up to unlock the door, the fingertips showing just a tiny hint for blue. With Mason in tow, he strode up to you, taking your hand before you could retract it.

“Wh—“

“You’re freezing,” Curtis said as the lively noise of children hit you like a heatwave. Bright colors assaulted your eyes and saccharin songs flowed through the concrete doors.

“I’m fine,” you replied, your hand twitching within his grasp, but not quite withdrawing it.

“Look, I feel like an asshole for earlier...” Curtis took a pause as the rest of the company shuffled past into the school section. A pregnant lady led the children in chorus as an educational, semi-propaganda introduction of the train was blaring on the TV at the moment. Thank god you were too old for this when you first boarded.

When it was once again just the two of you hovering at the entrance, Curtis continued, “Here take my coat—” He moved to shrug off his tattered coat, but you stopped him.

“Sure this front-sectioner has had enough taste of her own medicine?”

“C’mon, I don’t think of you as a front—“

That’s not exactly what you were hoping to hear.

“But I am one,” you said as you pulled your hand free, his fingers leaving visible prints on yours, “and up to a month ago, everyone in my life is one too.”

”But now you’re with us—”

“There should be no ‘us’ or ‘them’, that’s kind of the point of all this jazz, Curtis.”

Curtis just blinked at you. You could see the idea behind your words not quite computing within his mind, a mind that had always lived in the darker part of a dichotomy. And a part of your resolution melted away.

“Let’s do this another time,” You laid one hand on his, urging him to put his coat back on.

“Sure you’re ok without the coat?”

“I’ll survive. My blood is still raging hot from our fight earlier.” Curtis was a little bummed at your joking dismissal of his concern, but he knew there was no use pushing you.

“Children, let’s say hello to our guests from the tail section...” To her credit, the pregnant teacher kept her countenance as she took in the group of torn coats and ragged shoes filing past her, Tanya and Andrew getting their grease-stained fingers on a student’s face every once in a while when they thought he resembled their sons.

“Today is the first day of the new year, so we have a special little treat,” the teacher said as a well-dressed, clean-shaven Gerald walked in, to everyone’s surprise.

Amidst murmurs of “Is that Gerald?”, your eyes glazed over, thinking about his wife back in the tail section and her broken hand. And your resolution crumbled further—surely the train could have made room for one more violinist? A cloudy silhouette of the previous violinist took form in front of your eyes—was she the first chair of the Viennese Philharmonic? You couldn’t quite recall, except for the fact that she played at the weekly fete.

You were so lost in thought, and music, to have noticed Egghead walking down the aisle, handing each child a New Year’s celebratory egg.

And then, came the most traumatic three minutes of your life.

Taglist: @torntaltos @emmalbg @ajosieface

#curtis everett #curtis everett fanfic #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett x you #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #snowpiercer #snowpiercer fanfic

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jaminjims · 4 years

Text

bts 8th member {imagine}

a/n: ok so this was the child of my 1-5am mind that was running off of chips ahoy cookies and diet root beer, and honestly?? kinda proud of myself lmao. i felt like i was kinda lacking with my boys au update this week and i wanted to feed you guys with more content so, here you go! (also sorry if it’s a little rushed, i just started writing and didn’t stop) i lob ya’ll

pairing: bts x reader (it’s sorta implied as a m!reader bc bts is a boy group and i refer to you as he maybe twice throughout, but it can be read as any gender! although i do make you refer to the older boys as hyung. you can also read it as ot7 but you don’t have to, there are fluffy moments between everyone)

genre: pretty angsty but also pretty fluffy

warnings: panic attack, loneliness, anxiety medication, brief mention of insomnia, extreme dieting, sleep medication

words: 4.2k

~**~

you trained in bighit for two years before you were put into a group and you could easily say that those years were probably the hardest of your life

in the beginning, you were ecstatic to be accepted because being an idol was your dream, even if it was a small company. you had lost count how many times you dreamed about debuting and just making people (who you couldn’t wait to call your fans) happy

over time, you wouldn't say you lost your drive to continue, but your bright outlook on the future dimmed and the pressure of everything had begun to build up and it had gotten really hard

you had to train everyday: singing lessons, dancing lessons, exercising. and on top of that? you also had to study for school and continue to get good grades

after all, that was your parents only rule if you wanted to become an idol

your parents were also happy for you, but if they also became worried. because being away from home and the pressure of school and training without the fact they could look after you, it worried them to no end

they called you everyday and asked how you were doing, and you would tell them the truth about how you missed them so much that it almost hurt and if you were eating a lot (if your training even aloud it) and that you were staying hydrated and healthy

and sometimes, you were worried about yourself too

there have been multiple times that you thought you were going to break, how you thought you couldn’t continue to live like this because you weren't aloud to eat much and the classes and school work and just everything began to pile up

but this was your dream, and no one said it was going to be easy

that's the thought that kept you believing in the future, kept you believing in yourself. all of your hard work was going to pay off and you knew it was going to be worth it

right?

the times when you sang so much your throat went raw, the times when you danced so much to the point of exhaustion, and then collapsed but didn’t eat enough afterward. those were the hardest

your parents came close to pulling you out of training more times than you could keep track of

but you persisted. you had already made it this far, what's the point of dropping out now?

the first year of training was exhausting, but you were so proud of yourself because this was the hardest task you had ever done and you were getting through it!

the second year though, was probably worse than the first. that was the year when you really started to miss your family, and with trainee's constantly coming in and out of the dorms, you really had no one to connect with

there were nights where you would cry yourself to sleep because of everything

it didn't help when your trainers put you in remedial classes, because you were pretty good at dancing, but not so much at singing

the extra classes got in the way of your school work, and more often than not, you found yourself missing at least two classes a week because of them

but it was ok, you told yourself. if you had made it this far and gave up, then what would the last year of training be?

but there are only so many times you could tell yourself that before the words started to lose their meaning and you had come so close to dropping out because a person could only have so many anxiety attacks and meltdowns before they just broke completely

but it was like something looked down on you and suddenly: the moment was there. you were put into a group and immediately cried on the spot then and there, even when the others in the dorms could see

you had called your parents right after and were so happy, you couldn’t even get the words out and they could only half understand you

you knew it was going to be worth it and even though you almost aloud yourself to give up, you would be willing to do it all again

that's when you vowed to yourself: you were never going to give this up for anything

and even though you didn’t get the grades your parents really expected of you, it was ok

you were here, you made it

meeting the rest of the bts members for the first time was something that you would always remember, and even though you would come to laugh at the first meeting with them in the future, it was hella embarrassing

“hello, my name is y/n. please treat me kindly and i look forward to working with you.”

well, at least that's what you tried to say

instead it came out more like this: “hello. y/n. nice working kindly with you, please treat me forwardly.”

yeah, you die every time you think about it. the look on their faces as you flush in embarrassment would become the faces of your paralysis demons for months afterward because god could you seriously be any more socially awkward?

the answer to that question was: of course you could!

even though you weren't the shyest (that would probably go to the youngest, jungkook) you were probably the one to mess up the most and then think about it in the most inopportune of times

like for example, it was one of your first dance practices together and you were thinking so hard about not messing up anything, you ran into the door on the way out of the practice room after it was over

yeah, this time most of the members couldn’t hold back their laughs, and even though you knew it wasn't to make fun of you, you still flushed the color of crimson because christ what the hell is wrong with your brain function?

your face was probably two shades redder permanently because of the amount of embarrassing moments you had still have

that was probably the reason you become closer to jungkook first because (excluding the fact that the both of you were close in age, you only one year older) you were both the shyest

also, videogames who? ya’ll know her very well

most of you and jungkook’s bonding moments came from your mutual love of videogames and the relationship was THRIVING

“hey wanna play minecraft?” “kook it's two am.” “well then why are you still awake?” “to see how long it would take you to ask me to play minecraft. i already have the server open.” you both would then probably get blown up by creepers and you would yell before one of the others came scolded you both for staying up way to late and making noise

and once you bonded with jungkook, it was only natural that the rest of you bonded too (sharing a room does that to people)

when you were practicing the i need u choreo, for some reason your timing was off and you knew that but you just didn’t know where it went wrong and that one mistake was driving you crazy

dancing was the thing you were supposed to be good at and that fact that you kept messing up weighed hard on you and made you lose confidence

but it was hoseok who had found you hours after practice had ended, laying down with your arms across your face because you were just so frustrated with yourself that you felt like crying and at this point hoseok had known you long enough that you weren’t the type to ask for help even if you needed it

“y/n, you ok?”

“hyung, i-” you choked up and you got even angrier at yourself because are you really crying over this?

hoseok rushed to your side and helped you sit up, but you didn't take your hands off your face

he instead took your hands in his gently and swayed them back and forth, “yah~ it’s going to be alright.” he gave you a the hobi smile and you couldn’t help but lighten up

he pulled you up and together the both of you practiced until jin forced you to come home and sleep because “they had already missed dinner, god damnit.”

you nailed the choreo almost every time after that

or when you were recording vocals for spring day and you kept messing up and your voice kept cracking and the other guys had already gone to their lunch break while you were still sitting in the studio, practicing your lines

the other seven sat in the practice room eating and got worried that you were going to miss lunch altogether so they nominated jimin to go collect you because they knew that you weren't confident in your voice even though they told you almost everyday that it was amazing

jimin walked in on you singing your part in the song and smiled at how smooth your voice sounded but then frowned when you suddenly stopped and cursed because “why can’t i sing? what the hell y/n.”

you had yet to see jimin enter the recording studio but you defineitly felt when he wrapped his hands around your torso in a comforting gesture

you relaxed in his hold and sighed out as he whispered in your ear, “your voice is perfect and it fits you y/n-ah. it’s going to be ok.”

you teared up and turned around in his hold and properly hugged him. “i love you hyung.”

and you really did, you loved all of them

and you pride yourself on being the one that helps every one and makes sure they are doing alright, mentally and physically

you would get scolded by your hyung's and occasionally by the maknae that you should look after yourself better and that it wasn’t your job to always look after everyone, even more so if you are younger

like when you stay up late to wait up for yoongi to comeback from his studio even into the early mornings, and when he doesn’t you bring food and go to him instead because “i’m here for you hyung. and it's been awhile since I've seen you.” “it’s been four hours, y/n” “yeah, four hours to long.”

but he would eat the food you bring him anyway because he secretly likes your visits and wouldn’t trade them for anything

he always asks you if you’re ok though, “you getting enough sleep?” “why are you up so late?”

you always answer honestly, “i’ve been staying up really late to get things done when i was a trainee, so i’m used to it. it kinda just happens now.”

he frowns but can’t really fault you because he does the same thing sometimes. but still, he doesn’t stan sleep depraviety

or when namjoon gets stressed before interviews (it doesn't happen as much recently but it did when they were younger) especially ones where he had to speak english

you would always give him massages and reassure him that everything will be fine and that he was the best leader he could've asked for

the way joon smiles with his dimples gets you melting every time and you can’t stop yourself from poking him and calling him cute just to tease him, even though he’s older

he always gets this blush on his face and swats at your hands, but he never does lose his smile

you try your best to learn english because you want to take some of his stress away and help him in any way you can

and it’s because you all try to help and build up each other in any way you can, is why you all work so well and just flow together

like how you and tae just casually switch clothes sometimes because “y/n has the best fasion sense in bts” and you because you just like the way he smells (which, for the love of god, you will never admit to him, or anybody, outloud)

“hey y/n have you seen my purple hoodie?” then he would walk out of his room to see you covered in his hoodie eating ramen and smiles “never mind, i’ll just wear your white one” and then it’ll be your turn to smile

or when you assist jin in the kitchen because you actually really love cooking too and you two end up goofing off

“hyung the pasta is gonna burn!” “aish, then stop distracting me with your childish antics!” “oh did you hear something? must be the wind.” and both of your laughter would echo out, making the other members smile and sometimes laugh along with you

you’re also a regular on eatjin and army just love seeing the interactions between you two

but as much as you all get along, there are still many fights that happen because no relationship is perfect

it gets really stressful when you see members fight with each other because you have never been the one for conflict and would choose to avoid it when you could. you would always apologize first because you had a weak heart and hated when anyone was mad or upset at you

but sometimes the stress and pressure get to much and there are moments where they can't help but blow up at each other

“damn it! why can’t you get this move right!” someone would say, after doing the dance for the fourth time

“i’m learning it just like you are! calm down!”

it would sometimes stop there and the two occupants would apologize and they would continue to work, helping each other when needed. other times it would escalate and you would sit and watch because what could you do?

it would usually be one of the older ones to calm everyone down but practice would be cut short and there would be this tension in the air that felt suffocating and it comes to a point where you or someone else would end up speaking up and force the two to talk but they would become stronger and more understanding after the fight, because that's who they were and how they worked

but those were only small fights and you have only initiated them enough times to count on one hand, but the big fights are the ones who leave you feeling drained and powerless because you were never one show big acts of emotion so when you did you felt tired afterward

a big fight that you were apart of that really impacted your relationship with he wrest of the members happened all the way back in 2017

you were more jumpy the past few months and the members knew you didn't get barely any sleep

they also knew that you had been under fire from the media and haters because of a false rumor, and haters had been constantly pointing out your flaws and every little thing they could find wrong with you

you had also lost a lot of weight and that's what really hurt them, they felt like they were slowly losing you and they had tried to bring it up with you a thousand times before, but you would just brush them off and tell that you were ok when they could clearly see that you weren’t

it was when you fainted during a costume change in a concert that they drew the line

you had woken up later back in the dorm with about a million messages on your phone from news sites and family (and of course the other members to check on you to see if you were awake yet)

“y/n suddenly disappears from concert” “does y/n really care about army?”

those where only a few titles that he saw on articles and it only added fuel to the fire for the false rumors and hate

you had sat on your bed that you presumed the medics dropped you off at and based on the time, it had been about an hour and a half and the concert should be wrapping up soon

and you cried.

the rumors, the hate, the other members treating you like you would break any moment. you were letting people down and oh my god, you actually were breaking and couldn't stop it

it was already hard thinking about letting the fans down because they were your everything and you would go to any length to make them happy

but also letting your members down? your parents?

that was excruciating

because you had found seven other boys that you had grown so close to that you could count on but what were you if they couldn’t count on you?

when they came back after the concert all worn out and tired, their first thought was still about you and if you were ok

the maknae line almost broke down in tears at the sight of your sleeping form and how it was very much apparent that you had cried. so much that your eyes were red and puffy and you had a deep frown on your face even in sleep

the hyung’s left to talk when the maknae’s got into your bed with you nd held you because they were legitimately scared that they wouldn’t see you again when you collapsed (jimin on your left, jungkook on your right, and taehyung after jimin)

hobi was the first to speak when they closed your bedroom door. “we need to force him to do something.”

namjoon sighed, “that might make it worse, hyung.”

“well the medic said, just by looking at y/n, that he was malnourished and sleep deprived! i-i don’t know what to do!” his voice cracked and he went to sit on the couch, seokjin sitting down next to him to try to provide any comfort he could

there was a silence that followed the group after the outburst and finally yoongi whispered out. “i’m so scared.”

it was tired and broken and they all felt the same way he did

jin and hoseok fell asleep on the couch together while namjoon and yoongi retired to their own bedrooms, to tired from the events of the day

everyone had woken up before you did and the somber mood from yesterday still permeated the air

it was the most you slept in two months.

when you woke up, you probably felt worse than before

your face was swollen, your head was pounding, you were starving, and just all around miserable

the members somewhat knew what you were going through. they knew that you felt like you had let the fans down and they were very conscious of the hate you were getting right now

when you walked into the kitchen at eleven (all activities halted for the day. another thing that was your fault.) the rest of the boys were sitting around the table, talking about the best way to help you

you had simply walked in and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, trying to avoid the others because you knew the conversation that was coming and you weren’t looking forward to it

jin saw you first and got up from his chair and gently held your wrist to prevent you from leaving

“come here, you need to eat y/n-ah.” he said softly. he then pulled you over to the table, and you let him

everyone went quiet and you just simply put your head down on the table because what could you say? that you were fine? because it was very obvious you weren’t

when jin came back with a plate of food, he gently massaged your neck until you sat up and taehyung sitting on your other side held your hand

jin feed you himself when you made no move to and they were happy to see you eat more than you usually did, but not enough to fully sustain you

when he saw you wouldn’t eat anymore, jin sighed and pushed the food away. he went back to massaging your neck as you put your head back down on the table

namjoon spoke up from across you, “how are you feeling?” he spoke softly

“mm head hurts.” your voice was raspy and even softer

“we need to talk to you.” yoongi then said and this was the moment you were dreading the most

they tried to get you to talk about how you were feeling mentally and tried to be there for you but when namjoon brought up doctors and medication is when you broke

you even surprised yourself when you started yelling (this was probably the first time you really did at them)

“i’m already messed up enough as it is! i don’t need more flaws that will just bring everyone down! is that what you really think? that i’m that messed up?”

they tried so hard to keep calm but you were slowly driving yourself insane and what you were saying was also just so hurtful that they couldn’t help but get heated back

jimin was quick to catch you when you started swaying on your feet because your head was still pounding and it was getting hard to breathe and you couldn’t focus on anything, the others voices blurring together around you

you had to lean back against him and you heard him say something but you couldn’t make out what it was because you couldn’t breathe and your lungs were heaving because you needed air

the voices around you became softer and there were hands trying to sooth you but nothing was working

it wasn’t until there was a soft whisper that you heard in your ear from someone that told you to “breathe for me y/n. please breathe for me baby.”

you then took a big breath and then another and another and the others began to breathe again too once they realized your panic attack was over

you couldn't help the sobs that escaped you and it was just so heart broken and scared that others teared up with you

hoseok hugged you from the front as jimin was still supporting you from the back and you clung to him. “i’m so scared” and “i’m sorry” were the only two phrases you could seem to get out at the moment

“it’s not your fault. it never will be your fault.” and they would feel guilty because they knew you just needed help and they couldn’t fault you for getting upset because the media could be so harsh

it got even worse when you would later admit that you just didn’t want to bring them down because of course you would think like that. them before you, always

so they stayed by your side every waking second and became even more clingy if possible because dammit, it was ok to let yourself be takin care for once and a while and this time they were going to make you take care of yourself before you took care of them

when you were diagnosed with anxiety and sleep medication, they were with you every step of the way and made sure that you were taking them properly because they knew you still were against the idea of taking medication. it had the chance of getting out, and the media didn’t look kindly upon idols who had to resort to such

jungkook would be the one, more often than not, to make sure you take them, and on bad nights the only thing that would get you to comply is when he would say “if you take them it will help me sleep better.”

and it always worked because he knew you would do anything to make sure they were happy

the road to recovery was hard and there were of course ups and downs but at the end of the day, you had them and you couldn't imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t

the fights, the laughter, the crying, you would go through it all again if it meant you would get to stay with them

life as an idol wasn’t easy, but with them, it was just that much easier and you couldn’t ask for a better family

yeah, they were your family

and when you stood up on that stage, tearing up to see all yours fans chanting your names, you knew this was worth it

because you had made it, you built yourselves from the ground up and had loyal fans that would do almost anything for you and that support was worth more than anything

so no longer was your dream to just become an idol and have fans. no, it was so much bigger than that

you evolved and your dream along with you

you truly loved your fans and more than that, the family and community you had helped create along with the rest of these amazing boys that you were proud to call your everything

so standing up on that stage, you cried tears of joy because in this moment, there was no place you would rather be

and afterward you all would cuddle, because who wouldn’t love that, right?

[end]

end note: this was seriously too long and i enjoyed writing this wayyy to much. like i seriously made myself cry?? the part with the panic attack?? i swear i almost ugly sobbed omfg. also, would anyone be interested in seeing other parts to this? like i would absolutely love to take requests for this and make it a mini series if ya’ll are interested in something like that. i just love you guys to much lmao

also sorry if there was any mistakes, apparently i like writing at ass o'clock in the morning where my one braincell can barely function so there are probably many of them, but i was just so excited to get this out and so i didn’t read over it jsfjkgb

~**~ masterlist

taglist: @boba-tea1206

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years

Text

*me remembering that I promised a scenario of a drunk Chisaki* oH FUC-!

One or three bottles of sake

You were simply messing around in your phone, snickering at seing other people do shit on the internet before you heard a knock... which is weird since you were in the living room... not the bedroom.

"Excuse me? (Y/n)-sama?" The man asked hushed while you giggled at his exaggerate manners.

"Tengai I told you already about the formalities!" You smiled and put your phone down to look at the man "Just call me by my name, really is okay!"

"I apologize for this." The huffed a smile while scratching the back of his neck before returning to a serious expression "Pardon about bothering you in such a hour at the night... but could you accompany me please?"

You nodded and followed the calm man through the halls.

"Something wrong?" Tengai sigjed loudly before scracthing the back of his head again.

"Sadly. You see, the eight precepts, Chrono and Mimic were reunited on a room and that thug Rappa just brought along with Deidoro some alcohol drinks... To celebrate or just drink the night off or something similiar."

You snickered a bit, gulping down immediately after Tengai arched his eyebrow at you before returning to his explanation.

"Anyway. I refused since I'm not much a fan of alcohol in general. But the rest was the opposite... Master Overhaul got them on the act and went to stop that nonsense before Rappa just made one mistake..."

You started to grow worried before Tengai opened one door to reveal a bunch of drunk mens while you saw your boyfriend.... chugging and hitting the cup on teh cofee table as Chrono and Mimic shouted 'TAKE THAT' at a screaming Rappa.

You blinked once before looking at Tengai with wide eyes while pointing in disbelief at the scene in front of you.

"Yes... Rappa spoke something about master 'being a wimp on drinks or something, how would you be dissapointed at seing that your man didn't take one drink and that what type of yakusa boss he was if he didn't even could drink a cup of saque."

You returned your look at Chisaki who had the same stoic face as usual but the difference it was that his golden eyes were puffy and his uncovered cheeks were slightly pink.

"H-How much..?" You asked, giggling about at the way Chisaki miserably tried to slap Chrono's hand away form his back.

"When I left it was already gone one bottle... now?" He looked at the pile of empty bottles "I am afraid to know."

Suddenly Mimic snickered and while looking at you both extending his arms.

"Look at who decided to fucking join us! tEnGAI BiTcH GEt YoUR AsS DoWN AnD GeT DrUnK As WeLL!"

"I'll pass..." Tengai growled before glaring at Rappa for shouting that he was being a wimp.

"FinE ParTy BooMEr! (Y/N)! Go SiT YoUR AsS doWn thEn By OvErHaUL's SiDE anD FuCkInG DrInk!"

At the mention of your name the eyes of your lover widen just a bit before he drubkly looked up at his front... you were at his side...

"(Y/n)..? Wh..where the fuck is her?" He muttered while Deidoro left out a drunk laugh as he falled into his back at the ground.

"THE BOSS IS REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!"

"Tell the time then fucker." Setsuno snickered before juggling his cup.

"SHUt up midget!" Deidoro lifted up and pointed at a clock in the wall and screamed at it "THE BOSS IS REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!"

Hoyo spitted om his drink by his laughter while Chrono stood, a bit trembling, on his feet and cane to you.

"We fucked up.. sorry." He half smirked before almost dropping before you helped him out.

"For crying out loud how many drinks did you all had?!" You whispered shouted while Chrono showed one finger while muttering a 'bottle'.

And... everyone wasn't much different... excluding Chisaki who somehow was still searching for you and surprisingly didn't found it.

"Mimic you fucking liar, my angel isn't here." He growled before grunting when he just bumped his forehead on the table.

"Am FuCKInG NoT! THe ChiCk Is RighT TheRe!" Mimic pointed angrily at you while you could only deadpan.

"Alright." You started, accidentaly letting Kurono fall.. he at least made a thumbs up to tell you he was alright when you yelped "Everyone. Out. Night time for all of you."

You were so grateful that you had the respect of those man, or else it would probably take AGES for them to listened to you...

You stopped Nemoto though, being one of the last to leave, and pointed at Chisaki... lost look as he stared at his front.

"How many did he had Nemoto?"

"About (hic) three bottles. Rappa challenged him so..(hic) you knwo how master is."

You sigjjed and thanked the man, slowly going into his side to bring a hand to touch his shoulder before he slapped it away.

"Don't touch me filth... only one person can do that and is not fucking you so out." He mumbled, still not looking at you as he tried to get up... tried.

"Uh? Who?"

"Not your fucking business but is my (Y/n)." He growled before hiccupping "The sweetest and the most beautiful thing on this sick world and my angel is the fucking bes-" he tripped on his own foot and dropped to his knees with a hiss.

You blushed at his words... normally drunk people werent on their right mind but they never spoke lies... especially your Chisaki. You knew how he was reserved but those sweet words he almost never let out.

"I am all that?" He looked up to send you a glare before widening his eyes at sieng your blushing and smiling figurine.

"Angel..." he smiled a bit, surprisingly standing up and accepting your help "Since when you're here?"

"Not too long. Why?"

"I was going to kill some filth shit in this room.. but is all gone because you're here.." he sluttered before dropping his head on teh crook of your neck "My angel is the best..." he cooed before nuzzling his face into your neck.

Oh god what was happening?! Was this what too much of alcohol did to your boyfriend?!

He grunted a bit before mumbling in your skin.

"You're not hugging me back (Y/n).. did I do something?" You went to look at him befor eyou noice he was POUTING.

CHISAKI KAI. OVERHAUL. LEADER OF THE YAKUSA. IS POUTING. AND IT WAS ADORABLE.

"No no!" You immediate answered, waving your hands a bit "I-Is just tha-"

He grabbed your hand weekly and kissed your palm before nuzzling his face on it.

Dear lord what was happening with him?!

"My angel..." he cooed in your hand before hugging you again "I missed you..." he said a bit more sleepy while your heart was almost combusting at this overwhelming event.

"U-uh.. K-Kai how about some water then we can go to bed?"

He nodded in your neck, grunting in disaproval at losing his warmth and just blindly following you through the house... at least he had his hand on yours.

Pops was just getting to his room before he spotted you two.

"Good night you two." He smiled at your gretting but frowned at sieng his successor "Chisaki my boy, are you alright? You look a bit.. flustered?"

Chisaaki let out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around your waist and rubbing his cheek on yours, you with wide eyes and face burning form embarrassment.

"Nothing. Just my (Y/n) giving me her warmth... my angel is so warm..." he buries his nose, missing the wide eyes of his father figurine and his lover looking at him in shock "I just love it since I'm always so cold and is also soft..." he sighed in bliss at finding some comfortable position and just remained like that.

You gagged before looking at Pops, same wide eyes as you had on that moment while looking back at you.

He pointed a finger to your boyfriend and you sighed in defeat.

"Saque. 3 bottles." The elder arched a eyebrow before returning to see Chisaki nuzzling even more his nose on your neck and burring right in your ear.

"Well. What alcohol does with a man.." he smirked a bit at seing his adopted son attempting to growl at seing that your attention wasn't on him "Think you can take care of my boy for the night (Y/n)?"

"I'll try my best." You giggled, replying the good night Pops gave to you and smilling like a dork when Chisaki said something with the word 'father' on it.

"Alright my devil. Let's get you to bed." He grunted before tightening his hold on you.

"I'm not a infant (Y/n)..." he muttered but complied anyway while following you to his room.

He took the seat down with a yawn and hic up before he smirked dreamily when you helped him on taking off his shirt.

"Naughty little angel we have..."

"Ahaha.. no mister. You're way too drunk." You laughes and mockingly pointed at finger at his nose.

Although you yelped a bit at the nibble he manage to do in your finger.

"Kai!" He smirked devilish back at the call of his name before you giggled and rolled your eyes, going to the bathroom for wash your face before you felt a tug in you clothing.

"Wh.. where are you going?" You went to answer but the way his voice sounded so.. broken and fearful made you worry "Don't.. don't leave me alone angel.. please?"

"I was only going to wash my face to go to bed Kai..." you stopped in your tracks to carress his face with your thumbs "How could I leave you for real anyway?"

"You should." He hiccuped, eyes darkening a bit "Because I'm fucked up."

"No you're not!"

"I am.. like.. you-you're just the pool of sweetest and brightness" he pointed at you with his pam before plopping down "Then we have this demon here, the total opposite of you... but I am selfish.." he muttered the last part before burring in your stomach.

"I want you with me... only with me..." he juzzled in hour tummy before looking up at you. "Promise..."

"Promise what my devil?"

"Promise that you wont leave me in the dirty like some people did already.."

You made a hurt face before carresing his looks, giggling at the vibrations that the pleased sounds he made were making shivers crawl down your spine.

He suddenly groaned, burrowing his face even more on you while you poked him and ask what happened.

"Fuck that piece of shit Rappa now tommorow I'm going to have a headache... fuuuucck i wanna kill him.."

You giggle, hoping that tommorow his hangover wasn't going to be that painful...

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #my writing #zuffer writings

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fiction-in-my-blood · 3 years

Text

Holiday Spirit (ObeyMe! Fic)

I’m feeling in a christmasy mood for the first time in, well, years, and feel like we all need a bit of chaotic joy at the moment ^.^ (I may have had a few, maybe more than a few, whiskey and cokes so this may not be as good as I think it is haha (￣▽￣)" )

Warnings: None, this is just some brother fluff/existence fic.

~~~~~~

It was hard to tell the changing in seasons in Devildom, mainly because there were no seasons, but the flakes of ash that fell from the sky every now and again gave MC an idea of what time of year it was. In recent years, it hadn’t even snowed where they lived on Earth, so this was the next best thing. But, even as that specific spirit blossomed within them, no one in Devildom seemed to take notice of the calendar, even if it wasn’t the same as MC was used to.

Luckily, however, MC still had their music thanks to their trusty DDD. Whether they were getting ready for school, doing their chores in the kitchen, or wondering the streets with one of the demon brothers, cheerful- and some a little depressing- tunes were playing through headphones or speakers. The brothers didn’t take much notice of it, their human was already a little... weird, but they were their human and they didn’t actually know how regular humans acted. Solomon wasn’t much of an example, he was as devilish as any of them at some points.

But, it was when MC started putting up strange ropes of sparkling rags and paper chains in the hallways did they started to really wonder if everything was okay. It was too late before they realised all the white and red trinkets that started to litter surfaces in the living room and dining hall.

“Hey, MC, whatcha up to?” Mammon approached accusingly, frowning his brows at his human, stood on the tallest ladder the House of Lamentation’s attic had. Slightly spooked by the sudden announcement, seeing as their ears had been plugged by headphones once again, MC almost toppled right off. Well, by almost, I mean they did. Fortunately, Beel had been observing the affair from a different angle.

“Oh! Thanks, Beel! I didn’t want to be in a cast for Christmas!”

The second that word, or, more precisely, the first half of that word, was uttered, the surrounding demons froze up, sending MC tumbling to the floor as even Beelzebub jumped. Groaning, rubbing their bruised butt and looking up at the duo of curious demons, MC couldn’t understand why they would react in such away. It didn’t take long for Mammon to provide them with an answer.

“MC! Are you stupid? You can’t say that word here! Diavolo will hear you!!” Mammon, almost three metres from where he had last been seen, yelled loud enough for any other avatars to come investigating.

“What’s going on here?” Asmodeus wiggled his brows at MC, now on their knees in an attempt to stand back up, and Beel hurrying to help them back up after dropping them.

“They said the word!” Mammon whispered, pointing an accusing finger as MC quietly thanked the mass of muscle and kindness.

“What word?” Asmo pulled a confused, and slightly exhausted, expression as he followed Mammon’s gesture.

“I just said Christmas and they both f-.” MC couldn’t even finish their sentence before Asmo was clapping his hand over their face.

“Love, I wouldn’t say that! Diavolo wouldn’t exactly take kindly to it.” Asmo, shockingly, looked stressed by the phrase as he ensured MC ould keep their mouth shut before he let them go.

“I don’t see how Chri-.”

“Oh I’d love to see how this turns out.” A new voice spoke up from behind the quartet, everyone turning to see Satan with a mirthful smirk on his face, hand on his hip as his one shulder held up his jacket. He had one book in hand, surely something about the latest potion MC had told him about. This one was from Earth, nothing magical to it but the taste. It was eggnog, and Satan was sure he had heard the term before from many years ago, sure he could make the best concoction MC had ever tasted. He was holding a recipe book.

“Satan, would you please explain to them was Chris-.” And with that, MC finally understood why they were prohibited from saying that one word.

“OoOOhhhhHHhh, you think I’m saying Christ.” Everyone, excluding MC and Satan, went into a frenzy at their true pronunciation of the name. It didn’t calm down until a booming voice instructed everyone to stop.

Turning around, the five in the hallway turned to see two very tall, and one a little shorter, statues of men. Lucifer, Diavolo, and Barbatos at his side.

“What is the meaning of this racket?” Lucifer sneered, trying his best to kee his composure in front of the prince. Mammon was visibly sweating, Beelzebub so very hungry from the sudden franticness of the situation, and Asmo trying his very best not to seem affected by the word. He didn’t like losing his cool, but this was a situation he did not expect to find himself in. MC, their MC, saying that name- in their house?! He never imagined it.

“Ah, MC, I see you standing putting up your decorations! Doesn’t the place look cheery.” Diavolo smiled up at the piece of tinsel hanging from the rafters, one end swinging back and forth, waiting to be taped up. “Barbatos, you should help them. We can’t have MC falling and hurting themself.”

“Wait! You let this happen?!” Mammon awed at the nerve of the prince, looking up at what must be some sort of religious hanging. He didn’t really remember what humans did for God, but he was sure this must be new.

“Why not? MC explained to me the holiday doesn’t mean the same thing for all humans, some don’t even associate it with Christ, so what’s the harm?” Although his tone faltered on the certain word, Diavolo seemed as happy as ever to accomodate the human’s traditions. It may have been because Christmas was usually celebrated for Christ’s death, but lets just let that slide for now...

With that, MC had a lot of explaining to do. At first, they used the time to rope the brothers into helping them put up the decorations. With a lot more hands, and on Beelzebub’s shoulders, the halls of the dorm were decked much quicker than they would have if MC had tried on their own.

“So... You use Chr-... Ma-... The holiday to connect with your friends and family?” Mammon, not being able to say any part of the word without a shiver running up his back, trully tried to understand the meaning behind Christmas.

“That’s what it used to be about. Although, in recent years it mainly been about being with my friends. I don’t have a lot of family to celebrate with nowadays. But, for others, its mainly about presents and food. Oh, and not to mention the songs.” Not wanting to dampen the mood with their everyday life, MC started to list off all the joys of Christmas they remembered. Their mouth started to water at the memories of roast dinners and yorkshire puddings. The familiar popping of Christmas crackers echoed somewhere in the background of chattering as the brothers discussed their favourite parts of what the holiday sounds like. MC laughed remembering the static those flimsy paper hats would cause with your hair, making it stand up like a crazed scientist.

“Oh, and snow’s the best part. My friends and I used to go to a hill near our home and sledge down it. I almost broke my arm once when I crashed into a tree!” Nothing could help the cute giggle that left MC’s mouth as they remembered those fond times.

“Yeah yeah, enough about the cold, tell me more about these presents.” Mammon pushed through, cutting off one of the brothers, he didn’t take note who, who was about to ask for more stories of MC’s past. This didn’t put him in a very good light in any of the men’s eyes. MC merely laughed, a lighthearted affair that quickly turned everyone’s attention back to them.

“When you’re a kid, you usually make a list to send to Santa, but he’ll only give you want if you’re good. If not, you get coal. Or Krampus.” It was MC who shivered at the name this time, nightmare horro stories their mother used to tell them as a kid imprinting a fear in them that would last a life time.

“Kr-Krampus?” Levi, who had joined the group as they passed his room mid decorating, stuttered out in anticipation. He knew about christmas was anime, but nothing about a scary version of Santa.

“Legend has it, he kidnaps or punished naughty children by stuffing them in his sack, taking them to his lair, and eating them. Sure got me to behave when I was a kid.” MC laughed, although the nightmares they had were as real as the demons in front of them were.

“Anyway, come on, I’ll show you guys how to make Christmas cake!” MC jumped, wanting everyone to learn the joys of Christmas they had waited so many years to enjoy again.

“Now?? But you said its two months away??” Satan awed at the odd timing, looking down at thenotes he had jotted down in his recipe book. Not that he let anyone else see them.

“You have to let the brandy ferment to get the best taste! Come on, I’m gonna need the help!” And with that, the student council, with a sleeping Belphegor slung over Beelzebub’s shoulder, headed to the kitchen.

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cheekysos · 4 years

Text

Between Hate And Lust Part Three

Ashton Irwin x Plus Size Reader

Author’s Note: I think this will be the last part but if you guys feel differently and have any ideas please feel free to share.I think I might have gotten a little carried away but I still kind of like it. Let me know what you think. As I always say I’m not writing this series to exclude any body type, shape, or size because everyone’s bodies should be accepted and celebrated. So I am very sorry if this in any way excludes anyone, that is not my intention. If there’s anything you’d like to read please leave a request in my asks and I will try my best to do it justice. If you have any feedback or ideas for part three please let me know. Also I know the picture doesn’t really go but I love it and I couldn’t find anything else

Summary: Y/N is forced to interact with her ex and Ashton comes to her rescue.

Warnings: Brief mentions of alcohol and cigarettes, violence, swearing, and smut

Y/N’s POV

That voice instantly made you sick to your stomach. You knew he was invited but you were hoping for your sake and everyone else’s that he wouldn’t show. You were pretty sure he was drunk already, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were glossed over. He pushed off the wall and stumbled closer to you, the overpowering smell of alcohol confirming your suspicions.

“ ‘cha get all dressed up just for me?” he slurred.

“It’s a wedding,” you retorted, stepping back from him.

“You still mad at me? I told ya it was a mistake.” he flicked the butt of his cigarette aside.

“I really don’t want to get into this with you,” you let out. “Can we just go back to forgetting each other’s existence and call it a night?”

He scuffed dramatically. “You couldn’t forget this even if you wanted to,” he crudely grabbed at his crotch. “Look like you haven’t had a proper fuck in a while...”

“You’re right...been about two years.” You figured he was too drunk to catch on to your implication about your guys’ sex life but he caught on.

“Look, I fucked you the best I could considering all the extras I had to work around.” he motioned towards your figure.

As much as you wanted to fight back you knew now wasn’t the best time; outside your best friend’s wedding, all by yourself with your ex drunk off his ass so you started to walk away from him. His empty hand immediately reaching out for your wrist and holding on tight.

You looked up at him with pleading eyes, “Please let go. Now is not the time.”

Ashton’s POV

Your cover song was hit, countless people stopping you as you walked off stage. You tried to be as polite as possible, but the truth was you really didn’t care what they were saying. You saw her reaction as you played the song, you watched her hurry outside and all you wanted to do was make sure she was okay.

You walked out the door and found her almost instantly. Your blood started to boil, a guy stood there in front of her with his hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. It most likely wasn’t your place to get involved but you didn’t care, you needed to make sure she was safe.

“Y/N,” you called out. “Everything ok?”

Y/N used the distraction to pull away from the man. Your heart aches when she looked at you with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Um ya,” her voice was shaky and she rubbed at her wrist. “I was just...”

The guy stood in front of her stepping closer to you.

“Fuck off. It’s none of your business,” he slurred.

You were heated. “You made it my business when you put your hands on her mate. So why don’t you fuck off, let’s go Y/N.” You stepped to the side and reached out for her. She looked at your with a meek smile, just about to grab your hand when hands collided with your chest. You stumbled back a few steps. It took everything in you to not retaliate. You wanted nothing more than to lay him out on the ground right now, which you were fairly certain you could do with just one punch. This time Y/N stepped towards you and placed her hand on your balled up fist.

“It’s not worth it. Please let’s go.” You unclenched your fist and tangled your fingers in hers. Her hand was soft and inviting and you were positive you’d hold it forever if she let you.

Y/N’s POV

You never thought you’d be so happy to see Ashton. You were grateful that he followed you outside. You were desperate to remove yourself and Ashton from that situation before things got any worse. For a split second you forgot about everything while you looked down at your hand intertwined with his, for a split second things were nice.

“She wasn’t the first ya know!” Your ex yelled back at you as you walked away with Ashton. His words stung more than you care to admit but you tried to ignore him and he wasn’t happy about it.

“There were six! And you better get used to gettin’ cheated on when you look like that, fuckin’ cow!” he yelled.

Before you could even process what was happening Ashton’s hand was pulled from your grip and swinging at your ex. His fist connected with his jaw and he was down.

“Don’t ever talk to her again,” Ashton snapped.

He was either too drunk to care or too scared to hit him back because he just sat on the ground spitting out blood.

You looked at Ashton, “what the hell?!” you questioned.

From the look on his face he wasn’t happy with your reaction. “Seriously? Nothings ever good enough for you!” He raised his voice. “First you’re mad at me for not standing up for you and now I stand up for you and you’re mad at me? Fuck this.” He huffed past you, walking in the direction of the parking lot.

Ashton’s POV

You really tried to keep your cool, but the second he opened his mouth again you lost it. You weren’t expecting Y/N to just fall into your arms and instantly forgive you but you definitely didn’t expect her to be upset with you. You were just trying to do what you thought was right and at that moment when you heard him say those words, punching him in the face seemed right. Granted it probably wasn’t the best choice but it’s what he deserved.

You hated raising your voice at Y/N, but you were upset. This back and forth with her was getting to be too much. You started to storm off to your car.

“Ashton will you just stop!” she huffed. You stopped dead in your tracks, Y/N practically running into you.

“Why? So you can yell at me some more.” You stepped towards her, the space between you two was practically none existent. You could tell Y/N was caught off guard, she bit her bottom lip nervously and it drove you crazy.

“I don’t get you Y/N,” you chuckled. “One second you seem like you’re ready to forgive me and then the next second you’re ready to rip my throat out.”

“Because that’s how I feel! You drive me crazy! I know I should hate you, I really want to...but you’re.. fuck! I dont know.” This time she was raising her voice at you. You could tell she was having the same struggle you were so you decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it.

“You do know. You’re just scared. Tell me what you want.” You looked her up and down and licked your lips.

Y/N’s POV

God he was infuriating. “You think I’m scared of you?” you laughed.

“No I think you’re scared of what you want.” You were a little taken back by his sudden confidence but you decided to play along.

“Oh really? And what is it that I want?” You held your breath while you waiting for his response.

“I think you want me...want me to push you up against this strangers car and show you how a real man should treat ya.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks. He was right, you were feeling so many different emotions right then but all you could think about was Ashton. If he was going to play this game then so were you.

“Then what are you waiting for?” you teased.

Ashton was on you instantly, his toned body pressed against yours and massive hands cupping your face. His kiss was better than you could have ever imagined. His lips were soft and sweet, eager but not rushed. Your lips parted, half because you were in shock that this was actually happening and half because you craved to taste him. His tongue slipped into your mouth and danced along yours. He pushed the two of you back against a car, his leg pushed your knees apart to make room for his leg to rest between yours. His thigh providing you with much needed friction.

“Bet you’re so wet for me.” he whispered in your ear. The moan he elicited from you was almost embarrassing. Your desire took over, you couldn’t waste anymore time being shy and self conscious. It was obvious Ashton wanted this as much as you did so for once you let go.

Ashton’s POV

You were certain she’d be the death of you by the end of the night. The sounds she made went straight to your cock. You were already so hard and you had barely even touched her, who knows how you were going to last once you did. You couldn’t get enough of the of her body. The way it felt pressed up against you, the way she responded to your touch. You kissed every inch of her exposed skin- her cheeks, down the length of her neck, and all over her clavicle.

“You teasin’ me on purpose?” she moaned.

“Maybe a little,” you laughed.

“Please do something, drivin’ me crazy.” she rocked against your knee, begging for more.

“Since you asked so nicely...” You kept eye contact with her as your fingers trailed down her body, outlining her every curve. You kissed her softly as you got to the hem of her dress. In a swift motion you pushed up her dress and into her soaked panties.

“Fuuuck...” she gasped so loud you instinctively covered her mouth with your free hand. You started to rub circles around her clit.

“Gotta keep quiet doll. We are in a parking lot ‘member?�� Y/N nodded eagerly.

You decided you both had had enough teasing for now so you slipped your index finger inside of her. She was so tight and warm, just thinking about being inside her made your dick twitch in your trousers.

“So tight and wet for me. Ya feel fuckin’ amazing.” You spoke against her lips.

You started off with a steady pace, pumping in and out of her while your thumb traced over her clit. She tangled her fingers in your hair, pulling on your locks as her climax built up inside her and her other hand started to palm your prominent erection. You were needy for her touch, but you were determined to make this about her right now, to make her feel good.

“Need more please... Ash,” she begged.

“You’re such a good girl for me..so needy.” You added an extra finger inside her and increased the pressure on her clit. It must have felt good because you could feel her legs start to shake. She grabbed on to the wrist of your hand that was down her panties, encouraging you to not let up.

“C’mon doll. Want to see you cum for me. Let me feel ya.” She nodded at your words.

Watching her cum on around you fingers was unlike anything you had experienced. You had made your share of women cum before but none of them looked like Y/N. Her face was so expressive, her body writhed with pleasure and her sounds alone were enough to make you cum.

“Fucking shit Ash,” she panted when you removed your fingers and brought them up to your mouth.

You licked her orgasm off your fingers, releasing them with a ‘pop’. “Knew it. Taste amazing.”

She caught her breath, “Let’s see how you taste...” She stepped towards you and started to drop to her knees.

You reached for her, “Not here doll. Can I take you home? I want to take my time with you and treat ya right.”

“Fine but I still kinda hate you,” she teased.

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kookscrescent · 4 years

Text

Midnight Rendezvous (m) │ jhs

➤ pairing│Hoseok x female reader ➤ summary│Because of a rule that was implemented at Hoseok’s apartment, he has to sneak you in without his roommates finding out. But perhaps you were a little too loud... ➤ rating│NC-17, mature, 18+ ➤ genre│smut, fluff, boyfriend au ➤ warnings│unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), cremepie, multiple orgasms (female), swearing, dirty talk?, Hobi is slightly dominant but also not really?, Yoongi kinda hates you and is a little grumpy ➤ word count│6k│semi edited ➤ release date│December 22nd 2019 ➤ disclaimer│This is all fiction! Nothing mentioned/written are facts and/or real! So please just keep that in mind when reading and enjoy! Thank you ♡

⇥ Masterlist

Your feet are doing their best, taking double the steps that you normally would, to try and keep up with Hoseok, that is currently dragging you down the thankfully empty corridor. His grip on your hand is tight and if he were to let go and stop you would without a doubt faceplant right into his back or fall flat on your ass.

“Are you really going to sneak me inside?” You ask in disbelief.

Hoseok turns briefly, his eyes catching yours and a cheeky smile finding his lips before he turns to look where he’s going once again.

“I am. The guys don’t know about you yet.”

When you first started dating Hoseok two months ago, you weren’t aware that he lived in an apartment with six other guys. It wasn’t until you started to question him about why he would always insist on going to your place that he told you.

The thought of seven guys living in an apartment together is funny to you. Like, how would that even work? And how freaking big was his apartment?

“Are you embarrassed of me?” Is that why he hasn’t introduced you to his friends yet? Because he’s embarrassed to be with you?

He stops to look at you. “What? No,” he shakes his head, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss it lightly. “I would never be embarrassed of you. We just have a strict “no girls in the apartment” rule.” He rolls his eyes as he tells you this.

You frown, “A what?”

“I know. It’s stupid, and honestly I don’t even remember why we made that rule in the first place.”

“But isn’t that rule meant for one night stand type of things?” you ask him. “I mean we’re dating, so aren’t I excluded from that said rule?”

Hoseok’s lips form a straight line, his browns furrowing as he ponders over what you just said. “I don’t know,” he finally tells you. “But just for now, to be on the safe side, I’ll sneak you in.”

He continues walking till he stops at the door to his apartment.

22 C.

Next to the door there’s a little gold plaque with names written on it. You spot Hoseoks name immediately at the bottom of the plaque, and you try focusing on reading the other names as Hoseok tries to unlock the door without making too much noise.

Min Yoongi

Kim Taehyung

Kim Seokjin

Kim Namjoon

Jeon Jungkook

Park Jimin

Jung Hoseok

You are too busy reading the names, that you don’t even sense Hoseok opening the door and cracking it open just a few centimeters to peak his head inside to see if anyone is still up. Through the small crack you can see the faintly illuminated living room, and you can hear a television running in the background.

Your stomach drops. Why is anyone up at this hour watching television? It’s way past midnight.

He opens the door further, careful not to make any noise as you both sneak inside. Your head is telling you to not breath too much, but your lungs are telling you otherwise.

Hoseok leaves you in the entrée for a second to look around the corner into the living room. He comes back looking much more relaxed than when he went.

“Come on,” he whispers and takes a hold of your hand.

When he sees your hesitation to follow him, he explains, “It’s just Yoongi. He’s fallen asleep on the couch watching some fishing thing.”

Hand in his, he leads you past the living room that opens up to the kitchen and down a long hallway. In your hurry, you briefly catch a glimpse of a dark haired male lying sprawled on the couch while the television provides white noise for the sleeping body.

The open space is actually quite spacious, with a set of large floor to ceiling windows that are providing one hell of a view of Seoul. And it opens up to a large kitchen as well. It makes you wonder what the rest of the apartment looks like and how much exactly they pay to live in a place like this.

Much cost a fortune.

But you don’t get to register more of the place, because Hoseok has you in what you hope is his bedroom with the door closed and locked behind you within seconds almost.

He turns on the overhead lights and you have to blink a few times to adjust to the now brightly lit room.

You’ve spent so many days and nights at your small apartment, that you’ve many times wondered what his place and his room looked like, and you have to admit that it’s nothing like you imagined it in your mind.

It’s much more spacious and… clean? Not that you thought he was a dirty person, but it’s much more organized and put together. Everything has its place, a home where it belongs.

“I’m impressed,” you comment as you turn to his bed that looks freshly made with new sheets and all.

Hoseok grins, wrapping his arms around you shoulder from the back, hugging you close. “What? You thought I was some kind of slob?” he whispers in your ear.

“A slob? No. But it’s much more organized that what I imagined.”

Turning in his arms, you bring yours around his neck and you have to crane your neck back to look him in the eyes – him being almost a head taller than you.

“I like things to look nice.” He shrugs and pecks your lips.

“I like it.”

“Good.” Another peck and then he sets you free to roam around his room.

Taking full advantage of the opportunity, you move about his room. Starting by the desk that sits in front of the large window. There’s nothing much to see there, only his computer and a few books and some notepads with some scribbles on it.

So you move on, the full length mirror on the wall catching your eye. Or not the mirror, but the various of pictures around it – framing it.

You notice the same faces in many of the pictures. You point to a picture of Hoseok with six other guys. It’s a group shot of all seven of them – sitting together on one couch and posing for the camera.

“Are they the infamous roommates?”

“Indeed they are.” He smiles coming to stand behind you. “We were at a housewarming party and someone took that of us.”

Hoseok continues and points to the guy sitting all the way to the left, “That’s Jungkook. He’s the youngest of the seven of us. And that’s me,” he says next, “and I – of course – need no introduction,” he wiggles his eyebrows dropping a kiss to your neck. Playfully you hit his arm.

“That’s Taehyung,” he goes on. “the second youngest. Then we have Jimin. He’s colored his hair every color of the rainbow by now. He likes to experiment.”

“What color is it now?”

“Brown. His hairdresser told him to stop dying his hair for a while or else he would go bald.” He smirks, the image of a bald Jimin seeming funny to him.

“And that’s Namjoon. You and him actually have something in common.” He continues.

“What?” You ask curiously.

“You’re both really good at English.”

“Oh. Is he the only one that speaks English?”

“No no, combining the rest of us we know a great deal of words.”

You laugh at his sarcasm, but quickly quiet down when you remember where you are.

Hoseok points to the guy next to Namjoon. “That’s Jin, he’s the oldest amongst us, but by the way he acts sometimes you wouldn’t think it. And lastly, that’s Yoongi. Along with Jin he cooks most of our meals for us.”

Lightly you run your finger down the edge of the picture, your eyes zoning in on Hoseoks bright smile. The picture clearly shows how great of a bond they have with each other, all laughing and smiling.

“They are all very good looking.”

“Ya!”

“What?” you ask innocently, a light shrug rolling from your shoulders.

“I’m the only one you’re allowed to think is good looking.” He pouts, his bottom lip protruding.

Turning, you minimize the distance between you, throwing your arms around his neck and softly giving his lips a chaste kiss. “You are all very handsome, but you are the one that I’m attracted to. You are the one that makes my heart flutter with a simple look.”

He seems pleased to hear you say this. “I make your heart flutter huh?”

“You do.”

“Good.”

No further words are exchanged between you. Instead your lips lock together – starting out as an innocent sweet peck, but you both want more. Separating you lips you let his tongue explore your mouth, his hands are resting on your hips where he gently squeezes.

Tingles shoot up and down your spine, a soft moan echoing between you.

Hoseok walks backwards while blindly aiming for his bed. You have no choice but to follow him not wanting to separate.

He falls back and you land on top of him with a small thud. It takes your breath away and you have to pull back to catch your breath.

It’s a good opportunity to look at the man lying beneath you. His gentle lust filled eyes looking back at your curiously as you silently watch him.

God! He really is handsome!

He recently colored his hair a lighter – almost golden – brown and you still find that you have to get used to it, but it looks incredible on him. It makes his eyes stand out and his skin glow.

Running a single finger down the side of his face, over his jawline and across his chin, you can feel the light stubble there, indicating that he hasn’t shaved yet today. You don’t mind it. Not when it’s this short. It’s an added sensation when you kiss – the way it lightly tickles you.

“What?” Hoseok whispers in question to your fallen silence.

“Nothing,” you say. “I just like looking at you, that’s all.”

“I knew you were just using me for my good looks.” He jokes as his arms circle around your waist.

“Don’t forget your body,” you add with a hint of smile.

You absolutely love the way you can joke around with Hoseok. His sense of humor and positive mood is one of the major things that attracted you to him in the first place. He is so bright and bubbly that even if you happen to be in a bad mood one day, his laugh is enough to cheer you up instantly.

“Ah yes, my body,” he muses. “It is a work of art isn’t it?”

You nod your agreement, the smile on your face so big that it’s almost hurting your cheeks. You kiss him, wanting to feel his soft lips pressed against yours. You lavish them with kisses until a small laugh bubbles past Hoseoks lips. You finally settle on a proper kiss, your lips pressing together and your eyes fluttering shut.

You stay like that for a while. With you laying on top of Hoseok, his arms round your waist and your lips moving together in a slow dance.

But the fire inside of you quickly takes charge, your fingers itching to touch him and your entire body tingling in anticipation of what you know he is capable of making you feel.

Wiggling on top of him, you move your legs on either side of his hips, your core coming in contact with his rapidly growing hard on beneath his jeans.

“Hoseok,” you whine against his lips and roll your hips over his.

He groans in response, his fingers digging into your hips as you continue to move them over his crotch. The tension in the room is becoming electrifying, the air filling with you small gasps of pleasure and Hoseoks low moans.

Hoseok slides his hands under the material of your shirt, and despite the warmth of his fingers, goosebumps erupt across your entire back and arms. He slides them up your back in a caressing manner and stops when he reaches the clasp of your bra. Sliding a single finger under the band, he toys with it, making you think that he’s going to unclasp it, but he doesn’t. He leaves it be. Instead he slides both his hands back down to the hem of your shirt where he effortlessly drags it up your body. Your lips part for the time it takes to get the shirt over your head.

When its off, his fingers dance back up your back and this time when they reach the clasp, he unhooks it. Sitting up straight, you slide the straps down your arms till the bra is completely off. You toss it to the floor not caring where it lands.

A low groan erupts from the back of Hoseoks throat when your bare breasts comes into view. Since day one, he has had an obsession with your breasts. The way they fit so perfectly in his hands, the way your nipples become erect at his simple touch. He could combust on the spot.

He follows your seated position, sitting up on the bed with one arm hooked around your waist to keep you close to him, while the other one is busy feeling up your breast. You throw your head back, a gasped whimper rushing into the air when he wraps his lips around your nipple.

Your nipples have always been sensitive, and Hoseok finds great pleasure in using that fact to his advantage. He sucks gently at first, his tongue circling the nub after each suck to soothe the slight sting. He nuzzles his face in the valley between your breasts, his tongue licking from there and all the way up to your neck. Immediately he sucks your skin, eagerly drawing moan after moan from you.

He loves hearing you fall apart from just his touch, it unravels him. His mind going crazy and his body seeking yours.

Clawing at his shirt, you desperately try to get it off him. You need to feel his skin against yours. Hoseok helps you, parting from the spot of your neck to toss it to the floor.

“Fuck, I want you,” he groans, looking you dead in the eyes. The fire behind them is intense, his normally brown eyes turning almost black.

You begin moving on top of him again, “Then take me.” You purr, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

It doesn’t take more than that small sentence to make Hoseok stand from the bed, with you still in his arms. He tosses you on the bed with a devious smirk. With both of his hands now free, he strips out of his jeans and shoes, his black boxers the only thing remaining.

Hungrily, you eye the growing bulge beneath the dark fabric, your entire body tingling with the anticipation of all the pleasure you know is to come in a few short moments.

Kicking off your own shoes, you furiously work your fingers over the button of your jeans, fingers slipping a few times before you finally pop it open. From the end of the bed you hear Hoseok laugh at your struggle to take them off, but he eventually either grows impatient from the waiting or he feels sorry to see you struggle, because he reaches out to help get the jeans off your legs, taking your panties with them in the process.

You lay completely naked on the bed in front of him. Your legs slightly parted and your hands gently cupping your breasts. Hoseok’s eyes rake over your body, from head to toe. Momentarily he stops at the space between your legs – probably his favorite place to be if anyone were to ask him.

With a ragged breath you motion your finger at him, luring him in. Before he climbs on top of you, he rids himself of his boxers. His smooth velvety skin of his hard erection softly bobbing just under his bellybutton. Despite the fact that you have seen his cock so many times, you are always amazed by it every time.

Hoseok lazily places kisses from your ankle, all the way up your calf and the inside of your thigh, his lips teasing your folds, but he swiftly continues upwards placing kisses across your abdomen and between your breasts. Finally, he connects with your lips. His tongue immediately sneaking into your mouth and exploring every nook and cranny. You let him take the lead. Sinking into the mattress and letting your hands explore his chest and back.

With every kiss your desire for Hoseok grows bigger! Your feel like you are on fire, your entire body tingling and your feel desperate to have him.

You manage to maneuver yourself up on your elbows and for a moment you can feel Hoseoks confusion against your lips, until you, with a little help from him, manage to switch your positions.

With you now on top, Hoseok lets you take the lead. He settles his hands on your hips, his thumbs gently stroking across your skin there.

Going in for another kiss, you hum against his lips as you slowly grind against him. His cock nestling between your folds and your arousal making it a lot easier to move. Continuing, you grind on top of him, pre-cum drooling onto his stomach.

Hoseok moves his hands to your ass, kneading each cheek and helping you push your hips over him. He growls, the sound coming from the depts of his throat. “You’re so fucking wet.”

“You make me this wet.”

Another low growl flows through the air and makes you shudder. Sitting up straight, you rest the palms of your hands on his lower abdomen, the movement of your hips never seizing.

You can’t wait any longer! It has been too long since you have last had him to yourself like this. Raising yourself slightly, you reach to grasp his cock. Giving it a few slow tugs and enjoying the way the pre-cum leaks from the swollen tip, before you guide him to your dripping entrance.

Leisurely, you sink down. Your inner walls sucking his cock in inch by delicious inch. The wind is almost knocked out of you once he is completely nestled inside of you. Your fingers claw at the skin on his stomach as you gradually begin to move. Hips rocking back and forth before you gain momentum and really begin riding him.

From you hips, Hoseoks hands travel up your body till they reach your sensitive breasts. There he wastes no time in cupping each of them in his large palms, his thumbs stroking over you erect nipples.

“Fuck…” you gasp. The burning in your thighs are slowly creeping in on your, but you don’t let it stop you, it only spurs you on and you start bouncing on him, his cock glistening with your arousal each time you retreat.

Hoseok notices, “Shit! You have n-“

You are both silenced as voices erupt from the hallway, right outside of Hoseoks room. With a rapidly beating heart you halt on top of him. You don’t even dare breath as the voices continue. After a short minute, Hoseok seems to grow impatient and he takes it upon himself to keep going.

In one abrupt motion he brings your upper body flushed to his chest and raises his leg. Grabbing your ass in both hands, he pounds in and out of you, not caring in the slightest that someone is right outside of the door.

Afraid that you will be heard, you choose to bite down on his shoulder as your hands wildly rip at the sheets beneath you.

Hoseok keeps bouncing you on his cock and at some point, you don’t even hear the voices anymore. You don’t even know if they have left or if you are so wrapped up in the scorching pleasure running through your body that you have just tuned it out completely.

But at this point you don’t even care!

“Hoseok – of fuuuck – I’m gonna cum!” You warn him out of breath.

“Cum!” He whispers hoarsely. “Cum on my cock!”

Rippling waves of pleasure shoot through your body and straight to heat and within seconds you cum. You are gripping his shoulders for dear life as you try your best to not make too much noise. But it is almost impossible when Hoseok doesn’t let up, he keeps pumping in and out of you, drawing the last bits of your orgasm out.

You feel dizzy and like you are having an out of body experience, and you don’t even register that Hoseok rolls you around so that he is now on top.

He still hasn’t finished yet, but he’s close. The way your walls so deliriously contract around him is almost enough to set him off. But he’s not finished with you yet.

Hoseok pick right back up from where he left off. His cock thrusting into you but at a much more leisure pace. You welcome the weight of his body on top of yours, your chests sticking together from the light layer of sweat.

Connecting your lips, you run your fingers through his light locks, a soft gasp of air cursing past your plump lips, as you ravel in the feelings of your post orgasm bliss and the fire you can feel beginning to burn once again inside of you.

It really doesn’t take much for you to cum since you have been with Hoseok. You have never had any trouble in previous relationships, but you have never been this sensitive before – only with Hoseok.

“You like the way I fuck you, huh?” he mumbles, the words vibrating against your lips.

You nod, fingers scratching down his back to the small dimples above his ass, “Yes, so good!”

He slows down, withdrawing from your heat till only the head of his cock is buried inside of you, and slowly pushing back in. You look down to where you are connected, the sight of him slowly working himself in and out of you causing you to clench down around him hard, making it hard for him to push back in.

“Shit!” He curses below his breath. “You’re so tight baby!”

You can do nothing to answer him at this point. Your mind and body too far gone to come up with any kind of answer or sentence that would make sense.

He buries his face your neck, his whole-body tightening, and he begins speeding up. He is now slamming his hips against yours and instinctively you let your legs drop open, creating more space for him to move and also changing the way he hits inside you.

“Hoseok,” you moan his name when the fire furiously spreads and you close your eyes tightly waiting for the explosion.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum! Gonna cum, gon-“ he doesn’t get to finish his sentence, his words being cut off when he uncontrollably cums inside of you, setting off your second orgasm of the night.

He is breathing harshly against the side of your neck, both of your bodies trying to calm down after that ride. With your hands, you gently caress his back. The tips of your fingers tickling his skin causing a low and satisfied hum to come from him.

You are beginning to feel oversensitive with him still buried inside of you, your walls continuously clamming down around him and it’s too much. You wiggle under him, a silent plea for him to pull out.

Thankfully, he gets it and he sits up and slowly pulls out of you. Instantly, you can feel his hot seeds leaking out of you and your cheeks redden. But it doesn’t seem to faze Hoseok in the slightest. The opposite in fact! Hoseok finds it extremely hot to watch his own orgasm leaking out of you. It makes him want to jump right back on you for another round! But he resists the urge to do so – knowing that you would probably pass out.

Instead he settles on, “That’s so fucking hot!” and switches from looking at your reaction to the happenings between your legs.

You cover your face with your hands in embarrassment and groan. “Doooon’t…” you whine.

He can’t help but laugh at how cute you are, being embarrassed by this small matter when only seconds ago he was inside of you doing much dirtier things.

“You’re so cute!”

“Yeah, well I’m not going to be cute when your cum leaks onto your sheets and you’re going to make me change them.” You half jokingly tell him.

“Shit, right!”

Hoseok springs to his ensuite bathroom and comes back seconds later with a hot washcloth. Gently, he wipes between your legs, wiping away the remainder of him.

He pulls a face looking at the sheet. “Some still got on the sheet.”

Sitting up, you wrap yourself in the crumpled up duvet next to you. “I’m not going to change the sheets.” You tell him matter-of-factly. “Your cum, your task.”

He throws the washcloth through the open door of the bathroom and reach for his boxers on the floor. “Your cum is on there too!” He protests pulling them over his hips.

“Yeah well, that is your doing to. You’re the one that made me that wet.”

“Oh so now that’s a bad thing.” He crawls on the bed till he can reach your lips and he pecks them, before he crawls back off.

“Off you get then,” he starts tugging on the corner of the sheet, and your get off the bed so he can strip it off the rest of the way, because there is no way that you are sleeping on sheets with dried cum on them tonight!

With Hoseok working on ridding the bed, you manage to take a look at the state of his bedroom. It is messy! What the hell had you been doing?!

Both of your clothes are scattered across the wooden floor, your bra hanging off the side of his desk chair. One of his pillows has also manage to find its way to the floor, decorated with one of Hoseoks socks strewn across it.

You laugh at the sight… what a mess.

“What’s so funny?” Hoseok asks with the cum filled sheet in hand.

You wrinkle your nose, “Nothing, your room is just a mess now.”

“Yeah…” he murmurs. “Could you please…” he makes a weird gesture around the room with one arm, indicating the mess, “tidy? Just a little bit babe? While I go throw this in the was and get a new sheet.”

“Of course,” you say. “Do you have to go out to get the sheet?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be right back,” he tells you and the he carefully unlocks and opens his bedroom door, and just as carefully closes it behind him.

Now alone in his room, you reach for the t-shirt he had been wearing earlier on in the day. His smell ingulfing you and hugging your body. You also put on your panties for good measure.

You start with your clothes. Collecting it all from the floor and neatly folding it despite the fact the fact that it is has to go straight in the hamper, and place is on his desk chair.

You don’t bother with putting the pillow or duvet back on the bed yet, because the sheet still has to go on first, and since there is pretty much nothing left to “clean” up, you take a seat on the end of the bed and wait for Hoseok to return.

2 minutes pass.

5 minutes pass.

8 minutes.

10 minutes.

13 minutes.

When he’s been away for a whole of 15 minutes, you begin to wonder where the hell he has gone to. Maybe he’s gotten lost or fallen asleep somewhere?

Should you go out there and look for him?

What if someone sees you? What would even happen if someone were to see you? It’s not like they can throw you out… can they? No! Surely not. Hoseok would never allow that!

You take the chance. Softly cracking the door open just enough to take a peek into the hallway. It’s dark and all the doors are closed, but the light in the front room you passed through is still on. Opening the door further, you step out and freeze momentarily.

Still, you can hear no sounds other than the television that is apparently still running in the living room. Is that guy… Yoongi? Still sleeping on the couch? It’s well past midnight, surely, he has gone to his bed by now.

You tiptoe your way down the dark hallway, slowly passing by each closed door as if it might burst open at any moment and reveal an angry roommate.

The closer you get to the light, you start to hear hushed voices coming from the room with the television. You stop to listen. Huh, is that Hoseoks voice? You swear that you can hear his voice coming from the room, but you can’t make out what he or anyone else are saying.

You sneak closer to the corner, your head peeking around hit to see Hoseok, still in his boxers and a newly folded sheet in one hand, standing in front of six other guys sitting on the couch looking like it isn’t almost 3 o’clock in the morning.

“But we made the rule for a reason.” You hear the one sitting closest to you say. You think you recognize him as Yoongi, from the picture and the guy that was sleeping on the couch when you walked in earlier in the evening.

Is Hoseok getting grilled by his roommates right now? Because he brought you here? That leaves an unpleasant feeling in the pit of your stomach and you take that as you cue to enter the room.

“But some rules are me-“

The guys speaking stops when he sees you enter the room behind Hoseok. All six pairs of eyes turn in your direction, in turn making Hoseok look as well. He sighs when he sees you walking up to him.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks you, his eyes eyeing your naked legs.

You had completely forgotten that you were only wearing his t shirt. Thank god you put on your panties! “You didn’t come back and I started to worry that you had gotten lost.” You shyly mumble under his roommates heated stares.

“You worried I had gotten lost?” He smiles. “In my own apartment?”

“It’s a big apartment,” you manage to joke.

You can still feel their stars on you, and you cuddle closer to Hoseoks side for a sense of security, his arm immediately bringing you closer.

“I’m guessing that this is ____,” one of the guys say and stands. He is taller than Hoseok and his hair a pale blond color. He gives you a bright smile and extends his hand towards you. “I’m Namjoon,” he introduces himself.

Shaking his hand, you return his smile. “____,” you say even though he clearly already knows your name.

“We were just talking about you,” Namjoon then proceeds to tell you.

“I heard,” you weakly reply. You want to run away and hide in Hoseoks room, but you settle on nuzzling further into his side.

“Listen guys,” Hoseok begins, drawing all of their attention towards him. “I don’t give a fuck about the rule, okay. We made that rule a year ago when Yoongi kept complaining that Jungkook and Taehyung were bringing random girls back every weekend and keeping him up all night.”

So that is why they instated the “No girls in the apartment” rule.

“But ____ isn’t just a random hookup, we’ve been dating for over five months now and it’s safe to say that she is here to stay.”

No one says anything for a moment until another unnamed boy speaks up, you think you recognize him as Seokjin if you remember correctly from the picture on the mirror. “Okay then, let’s put it to a vote.” He says scooting forward on the couch. “I’m Jin by the way,” he quickly adds with a wink before going on with the voting. “All of those in favor of getting rid of the stupid “no girls in the apartment” rule, raise your hand.”

They all raise their hands except Yoongi, who keeps both of his hands firmly crossed over his chest and sour expression on his face. He is clearly not pleased with the outcome of this evening!

“Well that’s final then!” one of them says, jumping up from the couch. He approaches you with a huge boxy smile and an outstretched hand. “I’m Taehyung, but you can call me Tae.”

“Hey,” you smile back not really know what else to do at this point.

They guy, Jimin, that has colored his hair all the colors of the rainbow, leaves his spot on the couch, dragging another guy with him, now only leaving Yoongi to be seated.

“It’s really nice to meet you,” Jimin says. “Hobi has been less of a pain in the ass lately and I guess we now know why.” He winks and you blush slightly.

Hoseok smacks the side of his arm, “Ya! You the one that’s a pain in the ass!”

Jimin ignores him though, still focusing on you. “Oh! How rude of me not to introduce myself! I’m Jimin.”

“I know,” you accidentally let it slip over your lips and Jimin give you a weird look. You quickly explain, “The guy that’s colored his hair all the colors of the rainbow,” you tell him. “Hoseok has a picture in his room and… and he told me that and I-I remembered…”

“Oh…”

Hoseok cuts in, “Stop interrogating her and go to sleep!” He tells Jimin.

“No one’s interrogating her, we’re just curious,” the other guys cuts into the conversation. “I’m Jungkook.” He smiles.

“Hey…” all of these names and new faces is making your head spin, and not in a particularly good way.

Jungkook points to Yoongi on the couch, “And that’s Yoongi. But don’t mind is sour mood. He’s just annoyed he didn’t get his way! You’re more than welcomed here!”

At this you smile, “Thank you.”

You feel your body starting to relax a bit upon hearing this. You really thought that they weren’t going to accept you or like you, and you would never come in between Hoseok and his life long friends. That would break your heart.

Namjoon claps his hands making every one turn to him, “Alright! Let’s just wrap up this conversation and call it a night. We can get to know ____ more in the morning.”

Everyone agrees with Namjoon and everyone leaves the living room to go to their bedroom.

“That went better than I had expected,” Hoseok comments and plants a kiss on the top of your head.

You give him a tender smile, squeezing his side. A few steps behind you notice Jimin following you down the darkened hallway.

“How did they know I was here?” You dare ask Hoseok in what was meant as a whisper before entering the room.

Jimin hears you say this just as he is passing by to get to his room. “The walls are probably not as thick as you think they are.” He turns and blasts you a full on smirk and a wink before turning on his heel and walks to his room.

“Oh my god!” You groan in embarrassment.

Hoseok laughs as you faceplant into the still unmade bed. “It’s not that bad.” He assures you.

“Really?” You hopefully question.

Closing the door, he drops the new sheet on the floor next to the bed and sits beside you. “Well not for me, you were the loud one.”

“Ugh!” You groan yet again as you want to die in embarrassment!

Thank you for reading! I’ve wanted to do a Hoseok one shot for a while now and I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for so long just waiting to be finished! And now i finally finished it!!! I really hope you liked it! If you did please like and reblog :)

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eleanorbloom · 4 years

Text

[OH] When You’re Ready Ch. 04

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warning: Angst, adult language, mention of sexual situations.

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce's plans.

Taglist: @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @laiba-the-person @choicesficwriterscreations @shanzay44

________

Chapter Four: Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby

Whispered something in your ear

It was a perverted thing to say

But I said it anyway

Made you smile and look away.

Eleanor didn’t know how much time has passed since she threw herself onto the bed after saying goodbye to Ethan. Hours, maybe, since the sunlight started to sneak through the curtains of her bedroom. A knock on the door woke her up from her vegetative state.

“Eleanor, are you there? Are you alone?”

"Yes, come in"—She replied in a raspy voice. Her throat was dry and sore after too many hours trying to hush her anger.

Sienna came into the room and looked at the bulge on Eleanor’s bed, a bundle of bones and hair, of tears and sadness. There was no trace of her friend anywhere.

"Oh my god, Eleanor!"—She exclaimed realizing her miserable estate. She was curled up in the middle of the bed, pale, haggard, destroyed. Sienna laid down next to her and hugged her tightly.

“What happened?”—She whispered while stroking her hair.

“The same as always. He apologized for being a coward, we cleared things up between us, he brought me home and… We ended up having sex in his car.”—A sob escaped from her mouth—"God, how could I be such an idiot? How did I let this happen, how am I going to move on now…?”

Eleanor couldn’t stop thinking about how alive she felt in his arms, the way he was looking at her caused her goosebumps every time she remembered it. She still could feel his tongue sliding through her skin, his mouth pinning her nipples, his hands stroking her hips. And oh, the way he thrust her. And the way he moaned. The memories were too vivid.

“Eleanor, don’t feel guilty. It was what you felt in your heart in that moment, what you needed. There is nothing wrong with it. I’m sure you did it knowing that you’ll be away for a long time.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Let all go, Eleanor, I’m here with you.”

“I just don’t understand why it hurts so much, Sienna. There’s nothing extraordinary about what he did to me. It’s something that just didn’t work out. My second boyfriend from Med School hurt me a lot more than him and I didn’t feel as miserable as I do now.”

“Perhaps the feelings you have for Ramsey are not quite the same as you had for that person. And you have gone through a lot together, Eleanor. And he’s someone who will mark your life forever. With or without relationship. Maybe that’s why. And because you put a lot of hope in something that never had a solid foundation.”

That was true. There was never a conversation, she never heard from him not an iota of his intention to start something with her.

“Yes, maybe you’re right. I put too much faith in this kind of illusory relationship when nothing was ever settled, we never talked about having something stable. It was only three nights when we showed ourselves as we were, but then it was all over. I’ve been more time trying to make this work that the time we actually… were together if you could say we were together at all.”

“The important thing is that you are clear about your feelings. And be clear about his intentions. You tell me that you both made things clear?”

“Yes. There can be nothing between us to not interfere with my career.”

“And you understand it, do you accept it?”

“I understand it, but I still can’t accept it.”

“It’s a start. If you understand it, you’ll soon accept it. He already made his decision, Eleanor. This time apart will allow both of you to start from scratch.”

“And if he rethinks our relationship in this time apart?”

“Eleanor, you can’t hang on possibilities, on what-ifs. You have to move on. He has been clear with you all this time but you just can’t accept it.”

“But he loves me, I know.”

“Sometimes that’s not enough, Ellie. I agree with you that you could make things work. Even Banerji seems happy with that idea, but he doesn’t want to. For some reason, he’s not willing to do that, and you can’t wait for him forever to make his mind.”

“You’re right. I… I think the same. Excluding all this career thing, there’s something that holds Ethan back in our relationship. Something deeper.”

“And he won’t let you in because he has to keep his distance from you. So you can’t embrace the idea of healing him of whatever traumas he has.”

Eleanor lowered her head, defeated.

“He’s been clear enough for some reason, Ellie. He must have weighed all the implications, and one of them must be that he knows that he’s not ready to give you what you deserve and for the same reason he’s taking a step back.”

Eleanor nodded. Yes, she would definitely have to ponder that, because Sienna was right. What she had been trying to do was one of her worst flaws. The constant need to heal people. To heal her partners, the men in her life. Even her friends, sometimes. Even when she was the one who needed attention or someone who could heal her, she had always put everyone first before herself. And all this time, what Eleanor looked for was to heal him. Be good enough so she could heal him of something she didn’t even know what was, so he would choose to be with her.

“I have to put myself first.” She sighed at the realization.

“Yes, you have to. And I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

Eleanor hugged her tightly.

“Thank you, Sienna. You are absolutely the best friend I could ever hope for.”

With that, Eleanor got up from her bed to start what it would be a difficult day. She didn’t know when Ethan’s flight was leaving, but every moment she remembered it, she thought that at that moment he might be boarding the plane. The next day, she surely believed that he could be in Brazil. The day was infinite waiting for a message that never arrived. And the rest of the days suffered the same fate. Ethan didn’t write or reply to any of the text messages or the emails she sent him to know if everything was okay.

A week after Ethan’s departure, Eleanor couldn’t bear the anguish and asked Banerji about Ethan. She entered the cafeteria hoping she would find him there, having lunch. And she was right. She found him sitting alone near the window, fork in hand eating what it looked like a piece of pork with mashed potatoes. She bought a salad and a tea, and went to sit across from him.

“Do you mind, Dr. Banerji?”

“Absolutely not, Dr. Bloom, join me, please.”—He agreed, happily.

“Thank you. How have you been?”

“Perfectly fine. I’ve been feeling in a better mood now with the spring sunlight.”

“Yeah, has been a wonderful, indeed—She answered almost mechanically. She had no fucking idea how the spring was, she hardly looked at the sky when she had the opportunity, and when she did, it was to lose herself in thoughts. Her days had been a misery, the was no sun for her these days.

Banerji gave her a sad smile, like he could read her mind, like he knew there was no sun for her since Ethan left.

“Dr. Banerji I…”—She took a deep breath—"I need to ask you something.”

“I’m open ears, my dear”

“Have you heard about Dr. Ramsey?”

“Since when, since he entered in the Amazon, you mean?”

“Um, well, yes. I mean, I haven’t heard a thing since he left. He didn’t reply to my text or emails.”

"Oh, I see."—He nodded with a guilty look in his eyes—"He’s doing well, Dr. Bloom. The last time we spoke was about three days ago, when he told me he was about to enter into the Amazon and he would probably come to the urban area in two weeks. The signal is really poor in the area, so, as I haven’t heard anything else, I assume he’s doing well.”

“I understand, thank you, Dr. Banerji.”

“Do you want me to tell him you asked?”

“No, don’t tell him. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, I will respect his silence.”

“But he did tell you that he was leaving, right?”

“Only when I confronted him.”

“Oh”—He couldn’t suppress a sad smirk—“How did you learn, then?”

“A friend told me. She had heard from the nurses.”

“From Danny, right?”

“Right. How did you…?”

That’s when the realization came.

“Oh. You did it in on purpose, did you?”

“Sorry, Dr. Bloom?”

“Knowing that Ethan wouldn’t tell me about his trip, you asked Danny to upload the database cause you knew he would talk to Sienna or maybe directly to me.”

“You have a great imagination, Dr. Bloom.”

“Dr. Banerji, please. There’s no point in denying now.”

“Yes, Eleanor. It was me. I tried to convince him for a week to talk to you. But you know him, he’s stubborn.”

“I disagree, I would say coward.”

“Well, yes. He was a coward, but you have you understand that he really cares about you, Eleanor.”

“I know he does, but that’s not enough to forget how much he has hurt me.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Thank you, Dr. Banerji. For this and for… Do everything you did so I could find out that he was leaving.”

“It’s nothing”

Both continued their lunch talking about other things, without going back to the subject of Ethan. Eleanor told him how her last weeks had been and that even though Ethan had avoided her for the most part, she had managed to solve all her cases.

***

Two weeks later since Ethan left, Bryce was standing in the Nurses Station, checking some charts of a few post-operation patients, when a sweet scent caught his nose. Her perfume. He raised his head from the chart and turned to the right. She was there, asking a nurse to run some blood tests. Then she leaned slightly into the desk, releasing a loud sigh.

“Long day, Elle? ”

Eleanor looked a bit startled to her left and found Bryce smiling at her, chart in hand.

“The longest. One pita and two inconclusive patients. I’ve run every test possible and still nothing.”

“Maybe you just need a break, grab some air, a change of perspective.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“I’m free once I finish with this chart. Maybe we can take a break together, I bet 15 minutes with me and you’ll be feeling like new.“

Eleanor looked at him with the intention of refusing. She had neither the energy nor the patience to deal with anyone, least of all Bryce’s energy and cockiness. However, when she looked at Bryce, she noticed his smile was different. It wasn’t that charming, suggestive, self-assured smile of his. It was a sincere, motivating smile. It reminded her of the face her mom made when she got frustrated when she couldn’t make something good for the first time, and she used to encourage her to try again.

"Alright"—She replied once Bryce was done with his check and returned the chart to the desk—“You better make this 15 minutes work”

Both started walking down the hall toward the elevators.

"You already know what can I do with 15 minutes and still have minutes left.”

Eleanor opened her eyes, flushed, stopping in her footsteps.

“Chill, Eleanor, we’re not going to a supply closet to hook up”—He replied, laughing at her perplexity—“But you did have a very explicit idea of what we could do if we were over there, don’t ya?”

Eleanor hit him with her elbow.

“Very funny, Lahela.”

As they got out of the elevator, they headed to the nearest exit of the hospital and sat on a bench near the administrative offices.

“So, how have you been? For real. I haven’t had the chance to talk to you in ages.”

Eleanor sighed. She knew she couldn’t give Bryce evasive answers. Sienna and Elijah had been supporting her all this time, listening to her when she was feeling low, but when she wasn’t in the mood she could easily tell them she was fine and go on like nothing. But not with Bryce. Bryce knew she wasn’t fine and Eleanor wouldn’t feel comfortable avoiding the truth with him.

“Honestly, still feeling like shit since he left, I miss him so much, Bryce. But I… I think it’s getting better day by day, though.”

“Good to hear that. You really have to snap out of it, Elle. I know these things doesn’t go away miraculously when you say “stop” or “you have to be alright”. But you really must believe in yourself, believe that you can’t keep drowning yourself for someone who doesn’t value the way you deserve. Give yourself a chance, give yourself time to heal and be good again, because you deserve to be happy.“

Bryce smiled at her tenderly. Her eyes were a little shiny, but she managed to smile back at him.

“Just because you don’t keep soaking in sadness, it doesn’t mean that what he did wasn’t important or wasn’t bad. If it hurts, is because it was important, but you are more important than any pain or sorrow.”

Eleanor stared at him thoughtfully. She had never considered it. She didn’t want to stop suffering because doing so would mean that what had happened wasn’t serious, that it was an exaggeration; but the truth was she deserved more than that. She couldn’t keep drowning herself when she already knew she had to move on. It was somewhat self-flagellation and she knew she cannot be that pathetic. Not again.

Suddenly she remembered the lyrics from a Gotye song and she understood everything. “You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness” and the truth was, she was addicted to that kind of sadness, almost nearing the self-pity. It made sense when the subject of all this acting was here, first-hand witness of all he had inflicted on her. But now he wasn’t here to witness the hollowness she had been living. And she wouldn’t get anything, after all. It was all over.

"It’s true. I’m not saying it’s always this way, but sometimes you don’t move on because of the pain, the sadness gets to be comfortable, like a friend you can always rely on to excuse yourself, and in my case… I think I’ve actively let it take control without even resisting it. I’m the worst, I’ve been playing the victim all this fucking time.”

“No, Elle. Don’t say that. You’re not playing the victim, you were just living your emotions, your pain the way you find it best, and that’s okay. You always put yourself as your last priority, now you’re number one, and that’s fine.”

Her heart skipped a beat. Eleanor couldn’t believe what she heard. He knew she was that way, that she always put everyone first but her. It always surprised her how well Bryce knew her considering that they know each other for less than a year. For being a scalpel jockey, he was very observant.

“Being your number one priority doesn’t mean soaking in sadness anymore.—He continued—That time has passed. Now you have to be happy, that has to be your first priority now, okay?”

"Mmm Yeah. I think I should get out of my shitty state of mind and do something positive for myself.”

“Exactly”

Eleanor looked up at the sky and then closed her eyes as the sun shined down upon her. She took a deep breath, like sensing the air for the first time in years.

Bryce couldn’t help but watch her. Her wavy brown hair, tied in a ponytail, her smooth bronze skin shining under the light. His big eyelashes. Her full and rounded lips. She looked more relaxed than he had seen her in a long time.

That was the encouragement he needed to do what he had in mind, but had been resisting. He was going to fight for her. He was going to show her what she deserved. He would make her feel loved, valued, respected, happy. It would be his last attempt before deciding to forget her completely. This time it would be his last chance.

Suddenly Eleanor opened her eyes and Bryce looked away in surprise.

“Hey, do you have plans for tonight?"—He said trying to redirect the attention.

"No, just go home and sleep. I’m pretty tired”

“I’ve got this invitation"—He slid a hand through his hair, looking somewhat nervous. He was being nervous? What the hell was happening?—"I’ve been wanting to go for weeks, but drinks always come first—Bryce winked at her— Have you ever been to Improv Asylum?”

“No, what the fuck is that? Is it in the psychiatric wing?”

Bryce laughed, thankful that Eleanor still kept her sense of humor and sharp replies.

“No, no, it’s a kind of theater or venue for improvisation, where they present some improvised routines and sometimes ordinary people go and improvise situations, stand-up comedy, and that stuff. We should go.”

“Um, sounds interesting, but I don’t know if I can handle this right now. I know I said I’d be positive from now on, but I’m still fighting with this shitty mood. I’m hardly having this conversation with you, I don’t know if I can handle people trying to be funny… and I imagine many will fail.”

“Oh, Elle, you’re such a grinch when you’re low. Just because I’m moved by your grinch mood, I won’t be feeling offended because you’re bearing a conversation with me”

“I barely bear myself these days, Bryce.”

“Exactly, and that’s why we should go! You need to get out of your head, your thoughts, the same old shit, thinking about Ramsey all over again. Laughing at other misery will do you good.”

Eleanor stared at him, holding back a laugh until she finally gave up on it. Bryce melted inside at the sight of her smile. She looked so beautiful when she laughed. She always seemed to radiate warmth and joy when she did it.

“Let me think about it, okay?”

“Of course, text me when you decide”

“Deal.”

A then, Eleanor pager went off.

“Well, I guess I should give it a try on my patients. Some results are ready”

They got up and began to walk toward the hospital. The 15 minutes break had made its purpose. It distracted her, boosted her spirits. And it let Bryce start the master plan of getting Ethan Ramsey out of Eleanor Bloom’s head. Maybe not forever, but at least for a little while, until he returned and she had to face him again, now, hopefully, completely convinced she had to let him go for good.

Eleanor stopped in front of him before heading to the Nurse Station.

“Thank you, Bryce. I don’t know how you do it, but you always find a way to cheer me up.”

“One of my many, many talents, Dr. Bloom”—He winked as he took his path towards the OR.

After reviewing the test results of other patients, Eleanor had new ideas for treating the patients she was stuck with. During the afternoon she managed to diagnose her two patients and calmly cope with the PITA patient who would be in the hospital for at least two more days.

It was close to 8 pm, she still had an hour left to finish her shift, when she finally had a minute to get her phone out. She looked for the chat with Bryce and wrote to him.

Ellie 🌻: “Ok, I’m up with this Comedy Asylum”

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “You’re such a granny, Elle. It’s called IMPROV ASYLUM 😂😂😂

Ellie🌻: “Whoops, my bad 🤷🏻♀️ Get me out if this shitty mood before I transform myself into Pita resident, plzzzz😩”

Bryce L. 👨🏽⚕️: “Over my perfect dead body you’ll become a pita resident. I’m glad you’re up. Meet me in the atrium when you’re done. 🤜🏽”

Ellie🌻: “Deal Dr. Lahela. 🤛🏼”

Eleanor returned to check the progress of all her patients before going to the locker room to change her clothes. A few minutes after 9 pm, she met Bryce at the atrium of the hospital, and together they went to the building. There was a line to get in, but they managed to get a seat in the back row.

Around 10 p.m. the show began. The shows were really great. It started as a stand-up comedy routine but it was all improvisation, based on the interaction with the public. In some routines, they invited some spectators to improvise something and it worked out really well.

Bryce and Eleanor were in deep laughs when someone approached them.

“Now—Said the improviser, appearing behind both of them surprisingly—Looks like we forgot to schedule the Ken and Barbie Hawaii show. You can come now if you want.”

Everyone stared at them, mostly to Bryce, who always looked undeniable like a ken doll. That pita patient of Eleanor wasn’t wrong after all.

“Sure, I and my Barbie have a lot to show up”—Bryce replied, a cocky smile on his face

“Really?”—The guy asked, intrigued

“Yeah, you think you could give us some minutes?”

“Of course, we are always up for the public to join us”

“Bryce, what are you doi-”

“Let’s go, Elle” Bryce interrupted before Eleanor could finish speaking. He got up from his seat, took her hand, and dragged her to the center of the room.

“Bryce, what the fuck?”

Eleanor was red and nervous. She did not expect that. She signed to watch a comedy show, not to act in one. Least of all, in improvise one.

“Let’s have some fun, Elle. You can do it.”

“But what are we gonna do? We didn’t plan anything!”

Bryce bit his lip, thinking.

“I’m gonna be some sort of Johnny Bravo, ok? You know who Johnny Bravo is, right?”

“Of course. We have the same age, we grew up watching the same tv shows.”

“Great. Just… Follow me.”

Eleanor laughed, feeling the anxiety and panic leaving her stomach as she tried to remember her childhood. On Sundays, she’d spent all day watching Cartoon Network until it was time to go shower and get ready for the new day of school. Remembering the dynamics that were in the Johnny Bravo show, she had a seat, took out her phone, and pretended that she was sending a WhatsApp audio.

Bryce lifted his chest and walked just a little cockier and imposing usual, and a bright and charming smile on his face. He sat down next to Eleanor and tossed his hair to the side.

“Oh, girl, my meeting was boring and I ended up-” Eleanor started to talk to her phone.

“Hey baby”

“Wait for a second, Megan. Hey,” She answered, bewildered.

“Beautiful day uh? Just like m-”

“Oh yeah, just like me, sooo smooth, uh?—She snorted and then tried to resume the conversation with her friend—As I was saying …

“I was gonna say just like me, with my glossy hair and firm muscles, but yes, you’re not that bad yourself, baby.”

Some spectators giggled.

“Excuse me?!”

Eleanor got up with the phone still in her hand.

“Girl, you cannot believe what a douche I just met. This guy just sat beside me and has the ego the size of The Statue of Liberty…”

Bryce walked over to her.

“Pfff that bad? Honey, it’s at least the Statue of Unity in India. But I would say the Burj Khalifa Building in Dubai suits me better, for the size of my di-”

“SHUT UP! What’s wrong with you?” She shouted, with a perfect feigned angry face.

“If ya got it, flaunt it, babe” He lifted his arms open wide, showing off all his body.

Oh no, he did not say, that, did he? She fought the laugh that was about to come out from her mouth.

“Ha, you really think your peanut is that big?” She raised an eyebrow.

“You wanna see it?”

“Ew, no! I’m gonna call the police for…”

“For being too handsome?”

Eleanor tried her best to suppress a laugh again. He was making an incredibly smooth Johnny Bravo personification. Well, physically and in attitude, they were very similar, except that Bryce wasn’t a women stalker.

“No! For sexual harassment!”

“Okay, babe, I’m sorry. I’ll be gentle.”

“Don’t call me baby, I’m not your baby”

“But you wish you were” He put an arm on her shoulder, smiling widely.

“I doubt it, I have a boyfriend” She took his arm out of her and started to walk away from him.

“Well, you look like the type who needs two.”

“And maybe four and I still wouldn’t pick you.” She turned to him for a second and the left the stage upset.

Bryce was left alone posing with his muscles as if nothing had happened and then he approached to random a woman sitting in the front line.

"Hey, baby…” And with that, he finished his improv.

Everyone applauded

“Let’s give this Bostonian Johnny Bravo some kudos, and to his very patient catcalled women. I was about to call the police too, he’s too dangerous to be free in the city!”

“What great chemistry between these two, uh?”—Another improviser commented

“Maybe you should join us permanently.”

“We are fine, beginner’s luck”—Eleanor replied, a little shy.

They both returned to their seats and couldn’t stop laughing

“Oh my god, Bryce, that’s hilarious. I don’t know why I never imagined you like Johnny Bravo before, when you’re like, his doppelgänger!”

“Woah, woah, don’t insult me, he’s not half pretty as I. Besides, he has no brain, and I’m a fucking surgeon!”

“Well, I guess that’s true.”

“And girls approach me, not I to them.”

“You sure about that? Who approached me half naked the first day of residency?”

“That was fate. Fate wanted you to meet me in such a glorious outfit.”

“On your boxers? Right.”

Around midnight the show ended and they both walked around looking for a quiet place to eat and drink. They found a bar a couple of blocks away, and with burgers and beers on the table, they continued to enjoy the night.

“So you managed to diagnose your two patients, huh?”

“Yes, our break really helped me. I knew that would do me good, but I was too stubborn to get out of the hospital and get some fresh air.”

“Eleanor, you are being too harsh on yourself. Be more gentle, cause you are doing the best you can.”

“I know. Thank you, Bryce, really.”

“You know you can always count on me right?”

“Yes, I know. You have been a huge support to me in all this time. Hell, since the beginning, Bryce. First day of Residency and just wearing boxers.”

They both chuckled.

Bryce saw the brightest smile he had seen in her weeks and was completely grateful that he was the reason she was like this, because he intended it to be a recurring thing in her.

They talked about other trivialities and more personal topics until they decided to call it a night. They walked to the T and when they reached the place where they should part, both stopped their steps.

“I had a great time, Bryce. I didn’t realize how much I needed this until now.”

“Glad I could make you smile after all you have been through, Elle.”

Eleanor gave him a friendly hug, and Bryce returned it without ulterior motives.

“Good night.”

“Good night, text me when you get home.”

“I will.”

_____

A/N: Finally my baby is doing his movessssss. Hope you’re enjoying the journey. I know is super slow burn but I promise you, it will pay off.

Lots of love to my readers!

_____

Chapter 5.

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lonelyandlovelorn · 4 years

Text

Not Alone

A/N: I’m sorry for disappearing for so long only to return with this, but it just came to me and I thought I might as well write something. This is a description of depression how I’ve experienced it, but I know everyone suffers differently, and I hope this doesn’t exclude anyone. Also, this isn’t really romantic, but it can sort of be if you want.

Genre: angst, comfort

Warning: mentions of depression

Word count: 1400

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x depressed reader

Summary: You’re a great pretender, but Natasha sees through you.

Masterlist

It hits you like a high-speed train. You have been happy recently. The Avengers are your family and they care for you as much as you care for them. So when you wake up on a normal Wednesday, feeling like a boulder has settled in your chest, you aren’t sure what to do. You know what it is, and you’re pretty accustomed to dealing with depression, but that doesn’t mean you’re prepared for it to show up for no reason.

Having experienced it in the past, you know exactly how to play it off. You smile exactly as much as you should, you talk to everyone like normal. The only times you let yourself relax are when you know no one will see. It’s obvious your teammates love you and would do anything for you, but you still can’t bring yourself to tell them about what’s going on. You thought you were past this part of your life, and you aren’t comfortable unloading on so many people who fight their own demons every day. That’s why you keep it quiet. You manage just fine, going through the motions and you’re sure you succeed at appearing happy.

That’s why, when Natasha knocks on your door at 11 at night, you don’t even think to consider that she has noticed anything amiss. You quietly invite her inside, stepping back and opening the door. Natasha is not your closest teammate, but she is the one you find yourself drawn to the most. She’s attractive, mysterious, and intelligent; she’s also, in your mind, unattainable.

At first, she doesn’t say anything, just quietly studies you as you close your door and return to sitting on your bed. Her gaze makes you self-conscious, causing you to reach for your hair and your clothes in an attempt to fix whatever might be wrong. She watches your movements for a few more seconds before speaking.

“What’s wrong?” she questions softly. You gaze at her in confusion, not comprehending what she wants from you. The voice in the back of your head starts to wonder if she knows.

“What do you mean?” You don’t intend to just come right out and tell her without her even suggesting that’s what she is talking about.

“Something is up with you. It’s subtle and confusing because I can’t actually tell you what’s making me say this, but something is off. You’re acting exactly the way you’re supposed to, but it’s not you.” She stuns you with the knowledge that she’s been paying close enough attention to you to be able to tell that you aren’t alright. Even so, you aren’t comfortable opening up so easily about something so personal. When her observations are met with silence and a cocked head, she runs a hand through her hair and continues. “I don’t know what’s wrong, and I’m not here to force you to tell me. I just know you aren’t okay and no one is saying anything. I want you to know that I’m here if you need me, and so is everyone else.”

Her words are so earnest, it makes you see so clearly how caring this quiet and mysterious woman truly is. You let out a shaky breath before flopping back on the mattress. You feel her gaze on you and gesture her to join you. She hesitantly lays next to you, keeping her eyes on you as you begin speaking.

“I’ll talk as long as you stay with me.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see her nod. You let out one more breath before closing your eyes and pouring your heart out. “I have depression. At least, I think I do. I looked up the symptoms years ago, took a few inventories, but I was way too scared to do anything official about it. If some therapist told me I was depressed, it made it real, you know? So I dealt with it by myself every day for years.

“I was at a bad place in life when it started. I was lonely, stuck, confused. I didn’t know what I was doing or if there was anyone who cared if I lived or died. Getting out of bed was a struggle, and sometimes, I could hardly breathe enough to keep moving. I was in a dark place, but I made it through. And I found this team, this family, and I knew I wasn’t alone. There were other people who were like me, who cared about me, and I didn’t have to live like that any more. I was happy. God, I was so happy for so long, I forgot what it felt like to drown.

“And then I woke up and everything was duller. My chest was heavier and my thoughts were darker. But I survived like that for years, I knew how. I didn’t want to reach out to people who were struggling with problems themselves. I didn’t want anyone to worry about me, so I pretended to be fine. And I think it worked. I just happen to live with someone too good at reading people to ever be fooled. And I’m just so tired of it. I’m tired of being weak and tired.” At this point, tears are leaking from the corners of your eyes, and you rub at them in frustration. You are getting too choked up to keep talking, but you refuse to open your eyes and see how she is looking at you, or if she is at all.��

You both sit in the stillness of the silence until she gently brushes her hand along your arm. Knowing what she wants, you begrudgingly open your eyes to see her looking at you with more kindness than you think you have ever known. You’ve never seen her eyes so soft.

“No one who survives that long in that much darkness can ever be called weak. I know that no matter what I say, I can’t fix it immediately, but it is so important for you to know how much this team loves you. Bucky, Steve, and Sam would be dead ten times over without you. Tony and Thor wouldn’t laugh half as much without you. No one on this team would want you to suffer alone. Most of this team has PTSD, anxiety, or something else, and I’m not saying this to belittle your problem. I just need you to know that you are not alone and that we are here for you, no matter what shape you are in. You can talk to the others if you want, and I’m always here if you need me.”

She wipes at the tears that are, at this point, pouring down your cheeks. You never realized how much you needed someone to validate your feelings and to just be there for you until that moment. The relief that sweeps through your chest at someone knowing and still loving you the way you are, flaws and all, is indescribable. You sit up from your laying position and pull her with you, wrapping your arms tightly around her. You can’t express how grateful you are, but you think she understands as she returns your hug.

She tightens her hold at the “Thank you,” that you whisper into her ear.

“You don’t have to thank me. And if there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll do it in a heartbeat, you just say the word.” She pulls back and looks at you. The one thing you can think of is the only thing you wouldn’t dare ask, but the thought of it alone brings color to your cheeks. You’re looking down, only to see her set her hand on top of yours. “Anything you need, I promise I won’t mind.”

“Will you… stay with me tonight?” You barely manage to look her in the eye as you ask, but you’re glad you do when you see the way her eyes grow impossibly softer.

“Of course.”

And that is how you end up curled up in your bed with your head on Natasha’s chest as she runs her fingers through your hair. You know you’re not okay, but you are now sure that you will be.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natalia romanova x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x you #y/n #reader insert #avengers #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #depressed reader #gender neutral reader #natasha romanoff x depressed reader #depression #tw #lonelyandlovelorn

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iwillsithereandtrytocontribute · 4 years

Text

Not so Villainous

Pairings: pining Anxceit, familial Anxceitmus

Warnings: swearing, Deceit, Remus

Masterlist Ao3

This is a gift for @ollyollyoxinfree. I haven’t really interacted with you, so I hope this is something you’ll enjoy. I had a lot of fun writing it. Edit: I made this for the Spring Fling and wanted to post this here as well. Enjoy! :)

Deceit knocked on Anxiety's door hesitantly. Just because he was new, didn't mean he needed to be excluded. Besides, Remus and Wrath would only behave if they had a reason to, and a new player would definitely fit the bill. No answer. Deceit knocked again. Finally the door creaked open just a hair.

Deceit took a deep breath, uncharacteristically nervous. "We're having a game night downstairs." Nothing. "That is, would you care to join us?" The door opened a little wider.

"You want me to play a game with you?" A timid voice asked. Deceit peered into the dark room, trying to get a better view of the much smaller side before answering.

"Why of course not," he said smoothly.

"Oh. Okay," Anxiety answered quietly. Deceit cocked his head to the side, confused. Why was Anxiety’ voice suddenly sounding choked? The door had begun to close by the time he realized.

"No, wait!" Deceit yelled sticking his hand into the opening between the door and the frame. The door slammed into his hand, making him hiss in pain. Anxiety flung open the door immediately.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" Anxiety took Deceit's hand in his own. Deceit tried not to blush. He definitely wasn't thinking about how gay he was. Even as Deceit tasted the lie when it came through his head, he was preoccupied by Anxiety. "I'm so sorry," Anxiety said, shrinking into himself. "I'll just go." He took a step back towards his room. Deceit caught his hand, trying not to wince as his sore hand wrapped around Anxiety's forearm.

"Please do. I mean, I totally don't have a problem with lying. I tell the truth all the time," Deceit told Anxiety, stumbling over his words.

"Oh," Anxiety said hesitantly. "Ok."

"So you won't come?"

"Are you sure?"

Deceit sighed. He tightened his grip on Anxiety's arm and began pulling him to the stairs. Anxiety followed. "Wrath and Remus aren't waiting for us."

"They are? Maybe I shouldn't-" Anxiety began. Deceit turned to him praying that he could speak honestly for once.

"They want to meet you," Deceit said slowly and carefully. "We want to get to know you." He smiled warmly, all too aware of the fang on his left side. In hindsight he probably shouldn't have smiled, but Anxiety didn't seem to mind.

"Really?" Anxiety asked again. Deceit nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Anxiety let Deceit lead him to the stairs. "What are they like?"

"Oh, the others?" Deceit chuckled, more than a little nervous. "I've instructed them to behave."

"That's not really an answer."

Deceit didn't respond. When they reached the living room, Wrath and Remus were already fighting.

"I want to play Monopoly!" Wrath yelled.

"Fuck you!" Remus yelled. "Monopoly can-"

Deceit cleared his throat loudly. Remus and Wrath separated. Deceit sighed. "Guys, we talked about this."

"Yes, but-" Wrath began.

"Yes. But yes." Deceit let go of Anxiety and walked between the other two sides. "He is literally anxiety. The least you two can do is behave for an hour," Deceit whispered. He took a deep breath and smiled at Anxiety who returned it nervously. "What do you want to play Anxiety?"

"Um, I don't know," Anxiety said hesitantly.

"Oh my god! He's so cute!" Remus squealed. "I want to eat his ears!" Anxiety took a step back, subconsciously covering his ears.

"Don't worry," Deceit chuckled. "That's how Remus shows his affection. When we first met he asked to use my unconscious body for target practice."

"Okay. I guess we could play Villainous?" Anxiety answered.

"Why would you‐" Wrath began. Deceit hissed a warning. "Choose anything else?" Wrath finished with a squeak. Anxiety smiled softly.

"You like Disney?" Remus asked excitedly. Anxiety nodded.

"I-I think so. I've only really existed for a couple of weeks."

Remus ran up to Anxiety, grabbing his arms, and swinging him around. Anxiety's face turned white. Given Deceit's first encounter with Remus, he knew Anxiety was fearing for his life. "I love Disney! So does my brother that bit-" Deceit shot Remus a look. Remus winked at Anxiety. "But we don't need to bore ourselves talking about him? Who's your favorite villain?"

"Uh." Remus let go of Anxiety so he could speak. "I like Maleficent I guess. Cool aesthetic," Anxiety answered happily.

"Yeah, he's definitely Thomas's emo phase," Wrath whispered. He yelped when Deceit smacked his arm. Anxiety and Remus turned to look at them.

"Oh! My turn!" Remus yelled. He ran back and slapped Wrath across the face.

"Remus!" Wrath and Deceit responded in unison. Wrath glared at Remus as Deceit opened his mouth to lecture Remus, but Deceit stopped when he heard a small giggle from behind Anxiety's hand. The giggle turned into a chuckle, then into a full out laugh. And it was the most beautiful sound Deceit had ever heard. Anxiety quieted down after a minute, tears in his eyes, and breathing hard.

"Welcome to the family," Deceit said, extending his hand. Anxiety strode forward and took it. He shook it awkwardly after a moment.

"Thanks," Anxiety replied.

"Shall we?"

They set up the game quickly, and spent the better part of an hour foiling each other's plans and laughing around the coffee table. As one might expect, Remus was by far the most animated, but as the evening wore on Deceit joined in, then Anxiety. Even Wrath begrudgingly gave an evil laugh or two.

"Good game," Anxiety said suddenly.

"What?" Wrath screamed, leaping up from his spot on the floor. "No! How did you-" Remus matched his movements, feeling protective of the small Anxiety.

"Um. I don't know. I'm sorry." Anxiety apologized profusely. He looked down at the floor and shrunk into himself.

"Wrath!" Deceit said sharply.

"Oh come on, Deceit," Wrath sneered.

"Wrath, he lost fair and square."

"Why do you care so much?" Wrath demanded.

“It’s just a game asshole,” Remus retorted. “Let. It. Go.”

“He won the first game he ever played? Bullshit!” Wrath screeched, storming out of the room.

"Wrath!” Deceit called after him, standing up. “You get your ass back here and- and he’s gone.” He looked down at Anxiety, who by this point, was rocking back and forth with his eyes shut tightly. “Hey,” Deceit said softly, “you okay?”

Anxiety nodded furiously, rocking faster. “I’m fine,” he choked out. Remus was struck by a sudden headache. He sat down with a thud. Deceit felt it too, a searing pain in his stomach.

“Dee, I don’t think he’s fine,” Remus said.

“Really? I noticed,” Deceit replied sarcastically. “Anxiety, what are you doing? Can you, I know, stop this?”

Anxiety shook his head vehemently. “I- I don’t know. It’s never this bad. Never this bad.” A tear rolled down his face, swiftly followed by another. He rocked himself into exhaustion. After nearly an hour, the pain Deceit and Remus were feeling subsided. They slowly picked themselves up off of the ground.

“Remus,” Deceit said thoughtfully, “please go give Wrath living hell.”

Remus grinned harshly. “With pleasure.” he leaned down to give Anxiety a gentle pat on the back. “You’ll take care of him right?” Deceit nodded.

“Of course not. I won’t take him to his room and meet you back here when you’ve finished.”

Remus cracked his knuckles. “Thanks for giving me permission Dee, that bastard will get what’s coming to him.”

Anxiety stirred slightly when Deceit lifted him. His eyes fluttered open as Deceit walked up the stairs holding him. He flailed suddenly, falling to the ground. “What are you doing?” Anxiety asked.

“Well, I wasn’t taking you to your room if that’s what you mean,” Deceit told him, raising his eyebrow.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

Deceit put a finger to his lips. Anxiety fell quiet. “You need to keep apologizing. Believe me Wrath was playing nice tonight, because I forced him to. He would eat you alive if given the chance.” Anxiety’s eyes widened in terror. Deceit pulled Anxiety to his feet and they walked to his room. They sat on Deceit’s bed together. “Anxiety. I’m sure of what your purpose is as a part of Thomas, but for better or for worse, you’re a Dark Side.”

“What-”

“We’re the good guys, Anxiety,” Deceit said, trying to keep the pain out of his voice. “We’re locked away. Hidden from the Others.”

“What others? Why are we the ones hidden?” Anxiety asked. He leaned towards Deceit, anxious to hear more.

“Creativity, Logic, and Morality.” Deceit sneered as he said each of their names. “We are the sides of himself Thomas doesn’t want to know about. So, we’re stuck here. For now.”

“I’m confused.” Anxiety furrowed his brow and stared at the terrarium Deceit kept in one of the corners. “What do you mean, for now? And why doesn’t Thomas want to know about us?”

Deceit sighed. It seemed hard to imagine that anyone could be so naive. Still, he had been like Anxiety once. “I’ll show you.”

Deceit grabbed Anxiety’s hand and sank down. They popped into the Light Side’s common room. Roman screamed, flinging the board the three sides were sitting around into the air. Logic adjusted his glasses irritatedly saying, “Roman, for the last time, would you please refrain from sabotaging the game by dramatically throwing the board.” Roman just pointed behind Logic and Morality. They turned to see Deceit and Anxiety. Logic huffed, clearly annoyed. He stood up, towering over all of the other sides. “What did we tell you last time you came, Deceit? You and the rest of your ilk are not welcome here.”

“Ooh ilk. That’s a fun word Logic,” Morality cooed. “Where’d you learn that one kiddo?”

“Morality, how many times must I remind you, we are the same age and part of someone’s personality. I cannot be your kiddo.”

“See?” Deceit looked at Anxiety to gauge his reaction. “What did I tell you? We’re not wanted.”

“Affirmative,” Logic agreed. Morality smiled sympathetically.

“Don’t worry kiddo, you’ll have a good home with the Others won’t you-” Morality paused, waiting for a name.

“Anxiety,” Anxiety mumbled. He looked up at Deceit, who saw something more in his eyes now. A fire that hadn’t been there before. “My name is Anxiety,” he repeated with more power. They sank down together.

“Good riddance,” Roman said as he cleaned up the Monopoly pieces. “You know, I always used to play this with-”

“We know,” Logan and Patton replied in unison.

“You’ve only mentioned it 10 times already,” Logan sighed.

Deceit walked Anxiety to his room. “I’m really sorry about tonight. This was the way I wanted to welcome you to the family,” Deceit apologized.

“I had fun actually. Thanks,” Anxiety said sincerely. “And you know what? We’ll find a way to stick it to those Light Side pricks.”

Deceit brightened. He always did love getting back at the Golden Trio. “You mean that?” Anxiety nodded, a slight grin spreading across his face.

“See you tomorrow Dee,” Anxiety called as he entered his room.

He had shut the door before Deceit was able to reply. “See you tomorrow Anxiety,” he whispered to no one but himself. It was just as well that no one could see him, or they would have taken note of the blush that had spread across the human side of his face.

If you’d like to be on my taglist for writing (and I’m thinking of maybe making one for art if anyone wants) please shoot me an ask. :) Same goes for any questions about my writing or just general questions about anything. I love to interact with people. Stay safe everyone.

Taglist

@probablynothumanish

@dragonleesupporter

@pixelatedrose

#ts logan #ts virgil #ts anxiety #ts roman #ts logic #ts patton #ts morality #ts remus #orange side #sanderssidesfanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #ts deceit #ts janus

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theunboundmeg · 5 years

Text

Nefarious (Chapter One)

Summary: It wasn’t a year ago and Y/N can still remember being the new girl in school. Now it’s a new year, SENIOR year...and there’s another new kid at Hawkins High School. Billy Hargrove is a jerk, headstrong, and extremely presumptuous. And yet...he still manages to find his way in Y/N’s path...and it’s really starting to cause some “problems.”

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Y/N (Reader)

Word Count: 2,973 Words

Rating: 18+ (For the Future)

Warnings: Cussing, insinuation, angsty angst! And some other stuff!

Other: Please note, this story takes place at the beginning of Season Two and actually follows to the storyline. I thought it would be interesting to write from a different perspective of the main story and see what happened to one of our favorite characters while the others were off fighting the demodogs! Enjoy this and if you guys like this chapter, I’ll probably write more! <3 Also note that there is no planned amount of chapters for this yet. I will write this story until it just naturally folds up. So...look forward to MANY more to come!

________________________________________________________________

Chapter One: Tell Your Friends It Was Nice to Meet Them

The first day was always supposedly the worst day, right? Well, this wasn’t exactly the first day...but still. I looked in the mirror at myself, cringing slightly. What in the world was with my sense of fashion today? Seriously? And why was it that no matter what I put on, I felt as though I was an imposter? It just felt...different. That day did, anyway.

“Y/N! YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE!”

My mother’s voice echoed up the stairs and floated about the space in my room. She wasn’t wrong. And it wouldn’t be the first time either. One more tardy mark in homeroom and I’d be serving detention for a week. That was just how “serious” Mrs. Perkins had become with me. I didn’t exactly have a great relationship with my homeroom teacher, but we still managed to coexist...for the most part.

“Coming!” I screamed, grabbing up my backpack and taking one last look in the mirror. Out of control hair, high rise skinnies and a tank. Fine. It would do.

___

Just as the last bell sounded off, so did my footsteps on the tile of my classroom.

“Ah, Y/N! You did manage to make it on time! How gracious of you!”

Mrs. Perkins, along with the twenty or so other students in the classroom all gazed at me, causing my face to flush even more than it already was.

“Yeah, sorry. Just...tough morning” Not much to really say on the matter, I just shrugged and made my way to the back of the classroom.

Nancy and Jonathan were both there, seemingly lost in a hushed conversation that was only becoming more hurried and hushed the closer I got. I let my backpack hit the tabletop of my desk, causing Nancy to nearly jump out of her skin, which in turn brought a snort from Jonathan.

“You guys talking about creepy monsters again? Or am I actually going to understand the conversation you’re having this time around?” I asked.

Their adventures from before weren’t exactly a mystery to me. In fact, Nancy and I had become so close, she’d disclosed nearly everything that had happened before our friendship had blossomed. She’d told me all of it: from the Upside Down to how some small chick named Eleven or Elle or...Ellen...(I honestly couldn’t recall half of the time) had saved everyone in Hawkins. And while I’d be forever grateful to the girl I’d never meet for saving the small town I’d only just recently moved to with my mother, it was just difficult for me to buy...most days. Naturally, the thought of such a story intrigued me, it even drove my imagination on the dullest of my days. But still...monsters? Right here in this place? Come on now.

“Nooo...I was just telling Jonathan that he should reconsider the Halloween party. They’ll eventually be handing out flyers, but I already heard something about it.” Nancy replied, shrugging her shoulders and leaning back slightly.

I perked a brow and looked to Jonathan, who began to shake his head immediately.

“No.”

“Come on.”

“Nooooo.”

“Seriously?”

“No.” he hissed, clearly firm on the answer.

I glanced to Nancy then and shrugged again.

“I’d tell him to come but, he’s clearly made up his mind.”

“We’ll see.” Nancy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

She wasn’t really in the wrong for wanting him to come. Jonathan hardly got out much lately. Ever since the incident with his brother Will, he’d always made a point of trying to be home with him as often as possible. Then again, who could blame him? If I’d almost lost my mother, I’d be the same way. She was the only person I had left in the world, after all. It was then my attention was yanked back to the present by the door creaking open. The male walking in seemed to attract the attention of pretty much everyone in the room, even Mrs. Perkins. A mullet well kept, jean jacket and tight fighting jeans to boot and one would almost assume they were looking at a model.

“Mrs. Perkins! Sorry for the interruption! I’ve got a Mister Hargrove for you.”

The Principal pressed his lips together firmly as Billy moved past him, looking around for a chair. Something about him already seemed to pick at me. Not a word had escaped from between his lips and there was just something that was off about him. Cockiness? Or maybe he was an asshole.

“Mister Hargrove, are you-”

“We probably won’t be here for long, so maybe it would be worthwhile to just skip over my introduction and move on to better things...Mrs. Perkins, was it?”

While Billy had pretty much insulted Mrs. Perkins and talked over her, he’d done so in a way that oozed charisma. Asshole. Definitely asshole. I frowned and glanced downwards.

“Please...find a seat then.”

It wasn’t long and Billy was making his way between the desks, girls giggling and whispering about him as he passed them. Nancy leaned over towards me, lowering her voice.

“Steve and I saw him pull up outside earlier. Think he’s got a sister too.”

She tilted her head, her tone holding that of a curious nature. Other than that, she didn’t really seem to have much more to offer. The scrape of a chair caused me to jerk my gaze away and look to my left. Billy had apparently decided to make himself at home in the empty desk next to mine. Just my luck...a whole fucking classroom full of other people and he’d chosen to sit by me. Great.I made a point of looking away from him and back over towards Nancy.

“So about this Halloween party? I’ve got nothing to wear, but I thought I might go out today and see if I can find something at one of the thrift stores in town. Think there might be something good?”

Jonathan scoffed.

“Could always go looking like a goddess or a cat? Like most other girls do.” he replied.

I shrugged. “I happen to like cats, Jonathan.”

The chair scraped again, this time forcing my attention away once more and back over towards Billy as he leaned back, seemingly considering whether or not he could balance himself in his chair with his feet up on the desk. The look on my face must have said enough, because he took the time to actually stare back, inquiring now.

“You got a problem?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up.

“Not yet.” I replied, sniffing.

“Not. Yet?” he repeated, furrowing his brow.

“Did I stutter?” I asked.

Okay, perhaps that’d been a bit too forward or rude. After all, I’d been the new kid once as well...and I’d known how hard it was to acclimate to a new setting and new people. Just as I opened my mouth to apologize, he began to laugh. Billy actually began to laugh and just shook his head.

“My first day at this place and I thought I was going to run in with a bunch of airheads. Instead, I only run into a few airheads and one smartass. Might even be too smart for her own good!” he barked.

I could feel my face going hot as his chair finally sat back on all fours and he leaned over towards me.

“Sweetheart, lighten up. I’m not going to bite you. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

His gaze roamed downwards slowly, then back up, causing the heat in my face to travel to my ears and neck. Finally catching hold of myself, I inhaled sharply and shook my head.

“You know...I WAS going to apologize for being an asshole, but I feel like you feed into that sort of thing.” I retorted.

“I feed into whatever feeds me.”

It suddenly felt like a sparring match of sorts. The more I threw at this guy, the more willing he became to throw it right back at me. Dealing with my mom and her various boyfriends had always caused me to become a bit more straight edged...perhaps even cold. I’d never really been able to flirt well and guys tended to stray away. Usually. So, this encounter was different. He was flirting...but he was also being a dick about it. THAT was what made me feel more irritated.

“By the way, cat ears would look good on you. Don’t let the guy who’s clearly never been laid tell you otherwise.” Billy said, jerking his chin in Jonathan’s direction.

“God. Welcome to Hawkins.” I grumbled, looking away.

Nancy had managed to keep herself quiet during the small exchange. Her gaze darted between me and Billy, and then back again. Jonathan seemed to be struggling with something to say, perhaps even something towards Billy for his comment about the cat ears.

“Christ...” I mumbled, glad to hear the bell ringing to signal the beginning of classes.

Chairs were pushed and shoved and the stampede of feet began towards the door. I grabbed up my things and nodded to my two friends. “I’ll see you guys in second. Going to head to Chem and hope I don’t die from boredom.” And I’m also in desperate need to get away from this jerk.

I glanced towards Billy one last time, who seemed to be in no rush to get to his first class of the day and shook my head. He was going to end up being one of those. You know the one. He gets in good with the Kings and Queens of the school. Cool guy, cool hair...cool car probably too. And they’d suck him dry. Or perhaps it would be the other way around. Of course, that crowd didn’t exactly exclude me either. I’d been very lucky my mother had the money she did. And because of that, I’d earned a free ticket into the club as well. And while I never really partook in any of the “cool” kid activities, I made myself known there ever so often with Nancy and Steve.

“Come and get sheet faced?” I heard Jonathan say to Nancy as they left the classroom.

If I’d been paying any sort of attention, I would have seen the flyer that had been waved in my face before the girl had given up and given it to the person behind me. The flyers they were talking about were the Halloween party ones everyone had been buzzing about. Well, perhaps cat ears would end up being a thing after all. I shrugged, my backpack shifting weight on my back, and began heading off to class.

___

The day hadn’t really been anything to write home about. Classes had dragged and by the time sixth period had rolled around, my brain was fried. Chemistry test in first period, and countless amounts of note copying in the classes after had made me wish I’d stayed home. The only thing that had pretty much gotten me through the day were my friends and trying to figure out what costume I’d be wearing to the party. I pushed open the door to the front building and began making my way around. The courtyard was empty, save for a few students rushing from the back building to the front. I had my last class of the day in the detached building and like most, enjoyed the possibility of skipping. Such was the freedom of being able to actually...you know...go outside between classes.

“Hey! Cat Ears!”

I stopped and looked around. Cat Ears? I furrowed my brow and searched until my gaze fell on Hargrove. He stood there, just out of sight enough of the common passerby so that he could sneak his cigarettes under the stairwell on the side of the building.

“You going to class or you actually doing what I think you’re doing?”

I moved over towards him, nose wrinkling at the smoke curling upwards into the air. I’d only ever smoked once in my life. While I didn’t really complain about it, I’d heard from my mother it was probably something I shouldn’t pick up. The smell was just something she didn’t enjoy...therefore I shouldn’t either.

“We have a back building. I’ve got my last class of the day there.” I huffed. “I do have a name, you know?”

“Cat Ears just fits you so much better though. Makes you seem...more...crafty.”

“Crafty?”

“Did I stutter?”

There it was...he was throwing it back at me again. Then again, I’d probably deserved it. Especially since I’d said it to him earlier.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Like class?” I asked, shifting the weight of my backpack again.

Billy’s eyes roamed over my face and he reached up, plucking the cig from between his lips.

“Sure, I’ve got class.” he replied, “But I figured I’d take in the scenery first.”

He motioned towards me, causing me to feel that hot feeling creeping up my neck again. He wasn’t terrible to look at. But he also seemed like the sort of guy that had a shit personality...and enjoyed collecting women like he collected trophies. And I wasn’t about to fall for THAT sort of type. He stepped forward and circled around me, causing me to turn and watch him. Now, my back was near the wall and he stood out in the open.

“What’s your name?” he asked, finishing off the cigarette and flicking it away.

“Y/N.” I replied, curtly as possible.

“You don’t seem like the other Hawkins girls. Sure, you dress like the royalty, but you don’t seem like them.”

“I’m not from here.” I replied, “ My mother and I just moved here this past year.”

“Ohhhh, so we DO have something in common.” he jested, grinning that wolflike grin.

“We have NOTHING in common,” I said, stepping forward to try and pass him.

Billy sidestepped and put himself directly in between me and my route to freedom. It wasn’t long and he was stalking forward, causing me to back up until my back was firmly planted against the wall. He paused...eventually. He stood close enough that I could smell the mix of cigarettes and cologne on his jacket. He was clean and the way his jaw worked, it almost made me hold my breath.

“Here’s the thing Y/N. Usually, I get what I want. And right now, I’m wanting to know more about you...a lot more. Want to skip class with me and find out more about me to?”

Was he actually asking what I think he was asking? For fuck’s sake.

“Listen...buddy...” I reached forward and gave him a small push, causing him to blink in surprise.

“You might not be used to being turned down by girls, so let me go ahead and educate you. I’m not some prize to be won. I don’t just randomly go off with guys and explore with them. You seem like the type that enjoys an easy catch, so how about I point you in the direction of Carol and her flock of bitches.”

If Carol had heard me talking about her like that, she’d probably have ousted me from the “group” then and there. But she hadn’t...and this guy knew nothing about the social system at Hawkins High. Yet. Billy stood there, taken aback, before letting out another round of that barking laughter.

“You’re actually-?”

“Yes. I’m actually turning you down. A nice looking guy who is acting vile and quite frankly looks like he enjoys the feeling of being on top.”

“Well, you got one of those things right for sure.” he affirmed, nodding slowly.

He watched me, like a predator hunting his prey. But I wasn’t about to become his prey. Not today. Not ever. And yet? Some part of me...deep down...I felt that feeling. I felt it. He ENJOYED that about me. And perhaps that was why we were in the situation we were in now. He held his hands up and backed up.

“Pretty girl like you...I just couldn’t NOT ask. Was worth a shot.”

The smell of his cologne lingered on my jacket and in my nose. That’s how close he’d been to me...and it was going to haunt me for the rest of the day, I just knew it. I let out a breath and perked a brow.

“Maybe if you didn’t put off that asshole vibe, I would be more inclined to be curious about you.” I said, stepping back further.

“What can I say? People just seem to love that about me.” he replied, opening his arms wide.

It was sarcasm, but I understood what he was saying. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried not to think about the way he’d looked at me. It was a look that had made me feel something I almost wished I’d never felt. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit curious about him. But I knew Billy’s type. I knew we’d only destroy each other if we got close enough.

“I hope I see you at the party!” he called after me as I turned and began to walk away.

I shook my head and looked to the ground, feet carrying me as quickly as I could. I only just made it to class and sat down, clearly looking as though I’d run a marathon.

“What’s wrong with you?” hissed Nancy.

Yeah, having class with her this many times in the day had brought about a great friendship. And an open one at that. Though, part of me didn’t want to tell her about running into Billy. News was already spreading around the school about the hot, new guy...and I really didn’t want to get THAT look from my friend.

“We’re going to that stupid Halloween party.” I replied, “And need to find some fucking cat ears.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Chapter Two>

Author’s Note:

Hey guys! So, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything and I’m super sorry! I apologize if this chapter seems a bit short, but I’m rusty and finally starting to get back into writing again. This story idea came to me while I was lying in bed one night and I just couldn’t help but get started on it. I really love the idea of seeing a more thoroughly explored story for Billy during the events of season two and even season three...so I’ve decided to give us one! I hope you liked this and stay tuned for Chapter Two! Let me know if you guys have ANY suggestions!

151 notes · View notes

baby-blossoms · 4 years

Text

Honey Bunny

Pairing: Connor Murphy x Reader

Warnings: Kind of angsty, mentions of death (mother), profanity, shaded mentions of self-harm

Word Count: 2,507

Request: “Could you possibly do a (sort of) continuation to your Evan Hansen x Reader - The Tree, except for Connor x Reader?”

Summary: Soulmate AU where you have a mark on your wrist that shows you what your soulmate is most passionate about, and you can feel physical pain they go through. Reader is very popular in high school, but everything starts to go downhill when her mother passes. She then unexpectedly meets her soulmate, Connor. Basically the Connor Murphy version of my Evan x Reader story, The Tree.

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You were living every high-schoolers cliché dream. You were head of the cheer-leading team. All eyes were on you when you walked around the halls with your friends. You had been the Homecoming Queen, the runner up being your best friend. You had perfect grades and the perfect life. Your popularity was almost unmatched. But your mother had passed recently, and everything seemed to fall to pieces the moment she took her last breath. She was a free-spirited woman with many ambitions and interests. This, she had passed down to you along with beautiful y/e/c eyes. Your father could barely maintain eye contact with you anymore. He said looking at you hurt. You looked strikingly like her, and he avoided you because of it. Every time he looked at you directly his eyes got weepy, and he had to leave the room. It chipped away at you quickly.

You were left heartbroken and alone. It became apparent to you how shallow and two-faced your friends were. They expected you to be over her death within a week and got frustrated when you didn’t want to go shopping or partying with them. It felt as if the only thing you had left in the world was the pet rabbit your mom had surprised you with days prior to her death. You had all known she was ill, but the abruptness of her death tore you to shreds. It took everything in you not to give up after her passing. Your father was dealing with her death much worse than you. He sobbed for hours when he saw the soulmate mark on his wrist had vanished with her passing.

You avoided looking at your own now, scared of losing your soulmate like your father had. You felt every physical pain your soulmate endure, and the same stinging pain on your wrists made your eyes water. The pain came more and more often, and you couldn’t help but feel sick at the conclusion you had come to regarding what the pain might be stemming from. It felt like you were left with a hole where your heart should be, just empty. It was a struggle to maintain your high school life, nothing mattered as much as it used to.

“You’re late once again, Y/N. Do you have a tardy pass?” Your teacher called out to you as you made your way to your assigned seat. With a heavy sigh, you didn’t bother to sit down.

“Oh, sincerest apologies, my liege. Let me fetch that for you at once.”

You retorted sarcastically. Your ‘friends’ snickered, and you shot them all an empty smile as you made your way out of the classroom. You had the choice of going to the front office and getting reprimanded for your third tardy of the week or ditching class and getting reprimanded for skipping class later. It really wasn’t a difficult choice for you. Lunch was the next period, anyway. You spent the entirety of your class sitting just within the tree-line of the forest next to your school. The gardening class had planted a new tree sapling as if there weren’t enough trees around. When the lunch bell rang and a small group of kids seemed to be having a serious conversation next to the sapling, you decided it was time to take your leave.

Your teacher quickly tracked you down in the cafeteria and started to escort you to the front office.

“Y/n, I know things have been sticky for you recently, but you can’t just skip your classes when you don’t feel like attending them.”

He sighed softly, looking to you with eyes full of pity. An inferno of anger raged within you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from yelling back,

“Sticky? My mom died! You think sticky was the word to use in that situation? You call it sticky when everyone’s mom dies in front of them, or am I just getting special treatment?”

Your teacher, Mr. Destler, looked to you with surprise. He was used to sarcasm or snotty comments from you by now, but it was rare that you ever truly lost your temper in front of anyone. Taking a step away from you, he calmly stated,

“I apologize for my wording. How about you just take a moment to calm down?” You huffed out a broken laugh, shaking your head.

“How about,” you snarled, “you go fuck yourself, sir.”

A loud laugh caught the both of you off-guard, and you turned to see a boy with long wavy brown hair staring at the two of you, a small grin settled on his face. He had pale skin and sharp features. Dark circles were settled under his bloodshot blue eyes. Mr. Destler glowered at him, then turned to you, letting out a long heavy sigh.

“Y/n, I’m going to have to give you detention for using such foul language, and Mr. Murphy, I’m sure you already have detention. So, I’ll expect to see both of your names on the sign-in sheet.”

You openly rolled your eyes. He went to pat you on the shoulder, and you jerked away from him, then walking back toward the cafeteria.

“Hey, Y/n, what happened?” your best friend, Amelia, looked to you, her eyes yearning for some sort of juicy gossip. You shrugged, explaining in detail everything that occurred.

“Oh my GOD! You told him to go fuck himself? Seriously? That’s hilarious, I can’t wait to tell the girls! I can’t believe that freak was watching you guys, though.”

You bristled slightly at the word ‘freak’, but just shrugged again, snatching a strawberry from her lunch. She snickered at you as your bracelets slipped back onto your upper arm, revealing your soulmate mark. Hers was a seemingly normal one, a polaroid camera. Your soul mark revealed to you the thing that your soulmate was currently the most passionate about. Yours had been a skull for months. You weren’t sure what it meant, but your concern for your soulmate had been raising in the past year. All his passions were morbid or seemed to involve some sort of pain or death. You couldn’t be sure what yours appeared to be for him, but you wanted to meet him as soon as possible and make sure he was okay.

---

Detention was completely empty aside from you and the boy who had laughed at you in the hallway. He didn’t seem particularly friendly. The silence between the two of you was practically suffocating. You had seen him around the halls a few times, always alone and looking pissed at the aspect of even attending school. It was clear that he wasn’t someone you would normally associate with.

“What do you want?” You snapped out of a daze to find him staring at you. You had been looking at him the whole time without realizing it. His eyes narrowed. Your face flushed and you looked away.

“Sorry,” you replied, “I zoned out, I guess.”

He scoffed at your weak response, then turned away from you. You couldn’t help but steal a few glances at him. He was cute. There was something about him that you were drawn to, you just couldn’t stop looking once you started. He adjusted slightly in his chair, and his long hair fell from behind his ear, effectively shielding his face from your curious gaze.

“What the fuck do you want?” he repeated, his voice rising in irritation. You shook your head, looking down to your lap awkwardly. “Looking for a reason to mock me?” he continued with a cynical huff of a laugh. You felt him glaring at you as you quickly shook your head and shrugged.

“Sorry.” You stated dumbly.

“Sure.” He responded in a mocking tone. “What’s up with you screaming earlier, anyway? Aren’t you a teacher’s pet?”

You didn’t respond, continuing to stare at your lap.

“What, scared to talk now? Never had detention before, prom queen?” He poked at you further. Your own irritation was starting to rise.

“I’m sorry for staring. Just leave me alone.” You murmured, refusing to meet his increasingly intense gaze.

“Leave you alone? As if you and your friends would leave me alone if you to. What makes you so special?”

You went to bite back a reply when your phone rang. A small sigh of relief escaped your lips, but your stomach sank when you saw it was your father calling.

“Shit.” You whispered, quickly answering the call. You hadn’t told him about the detention and you were usually home from school by now, excluding the days you attended cheerleading practice.

“Where are you?”

Your father’s worried voice rang loudly in your ear. Pinching your eyes shut, you cringed as you told him you were in detention for the first time in your life. A long silence hung between the two of you before he replied,

“We’ll talk about it when you get home.”

Instinctively you nodded, before realizing he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah…” You replied, your voice full of guilt. “Can you feed Honey for me? She needs fresh veggies, I have some cut up and everything, just try not to spook her too badly when you go to give them to her.”

Your father grunted in response and quickly hung up. You sighed anxiously and shoved your phone into your pocket. Remembering who was in the room with you, you slowly glanced toward him. He was still staring at you. A mocking smile pulled at his lips.

“Not a daddy’s girl, are you?” he pried.

This struck a nerve. You shook your head and barked back,

“Shut up.”

The boy’s eyes sparkled. He had found something to get a genuine response out of you. It was clear he was just trying to irritate you.

“What?” he continued, “You’ve got daddy issues, so you started to act out for attention?”

You gave him a sarcastic laugh, quickly retorting.

“Not exactly.”

His eyes held curiosity as he tiled his head in question.

“What then? Mommy issues? Did mommy run out on you?”

Your eyes started to glaze with tears, and you felt your face get hot. At this point, you would’ve preferred his assumption. Knowing your mom was alive somewhere was much better than knowing you had no possible way of seeing her again.

“She died, actually.”

You said, a small pained smile tugging at your lips. The boy’s face fell, and you turned away from him. Grabbing your bag, you quickly signed your name on the detention sheet and went to make your exit. You had technically attended, even if the teacher that was supposed to be supervising you hadn’t. You heard a string of whispered profanities as you slammed the door behind you and jogged down the hallway.

Practically bursting through the front doors of the school, you walked a few paces. Your heart felt heavy. You crouched, covering your mouth with your hoodie sleeve, trying to silence the sobs that tumbled from your lips. You just wanted everything to go back to normal. You wanted your mom back. You wanted your happiness back. Jumping, you gasped when you looked forward to finding the boy standing in front of you. He looked guilt-ridden.

“Look, I’m… fuck. I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve left you alone, I didn’t realize…” He trailed off awkwardly, picking nervously at the strap of the bag he had hanging from one shoulder. You stood, wiping your tears quickly.

“Yeah, forget it. It’s fine. I gotta get home and take care of Honey anyway.”

He glanced to his wrist, a glimmer of hope playing across his features.

“Honey?” he questioned. You nodded,

“My rabbit. My mom gave her to me, she’s kind of my everything right now.” You finished with a small chuckle. His eyes widened, and he roughly took your wrist in his hand, ignoring your confused protest. You went to yell at him when he yanked your bracelets away from your soul mark. It was extremely rude to force someone into showing you their soul mark.

“Holy shit…” he whispered.

You snatched your wrist away from his hands, taking a step away from him, not sure what to say. Sure, you had gotten some interesting reactions from your soul mark before, but never had you been so offended by someone in so many ways.

“What the fuck is your…” you stopped, eyes widening when he showed you his own wrist. Your yellow rabbit was printed on his wrist. Even the unique white patch of fur across her left eye was present. You took a shaky breath, then finally meeting his gaze. You hadn’t noticed that one of his eyes was half brown before. They sparkled brightly at you, and your heart went into overdrive when he genuinely smiled at you for the first time.

“You’re my soulmate…?” You asked in an astonished murmur. It was an obvious answer, but you were dumbfounded. You had been going to the same high school as your soulmate for almost four full years without realizing it. His smile faltered.

“Sorry to disappoint.” He said, his voice full of pain. You realized quickly that he saw your question as one of disappointment, not joy and astonishment. You grabbed his arm when he went to walk away.

“No!” you said quickly, “I just didn’t expect you to be so…” you stopped, looking for the right word. His stare hardened, seemingly expecting an offensive description. “Perfect.” You finished. His eyes widened in shock, and his lips parted. He was at a loss for words. “Oh my god,” you continued, pulling him to face you, “I’ve been so worried about you.”

You pulled him into a hug, one that he slowly returned. Pulling away after a moment, you took his face into your hands.

“Are you okay?” You asked in a gentle whisper. His eyes closed tightly for a moment. When they opened once more, you could tell he was trying to hold back tears.

“I’m okay now that I’ve met you. I’m sorry I was such a dick to you. My name’s Connor.”

He replied shakily. You beamed at him, gently wiping away a few tears that had managed to escape despite Connor’s best efforts to keep them in.

“I’m Y/n.”

You responded. He nodded, a smile slowly forming. He was beautiful when he smiled. He was beautiful when he wasn’t smiling. You understood now why you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at him. He was genuinely perfect for you. Your soulmate. You slowly slipped your hands down to his shoulders, leaning closer toward him. He didn’t hesitate to meet you halfway, kissing you softly. When you pulled away it was his turn to wipe tears from your cheek. You placed your hand over his when he gently cupped your cheek, but your wrist caught your attention. The familiar skull print was no longer there. Instead, it had been replaced with something that made you start to cry once more. Your own name was printed onto your wrist.

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winnipegpatty · 5 years

Text

we’re fatally flawed | three | s.m. series

a/n: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME FEEDBACK. lol i love you guys, pls support me on ko-fi if you feel so inclined.

warnings: language

words: 2.7k

“You say the world is changing, but I still burn the same.”

In the past weeks, Mandy and Shawn’s lives had drifted to what felt like different planets. It wasn’t that they were drifting apart themselves, but simply that their lifestyles were beginning to clash. On school nights Mandy would go to bed rather early, but Shawn may come crashing home blaringly drunk at 3 in the morning, waking her up. Shawn might have writing sessions with the band in the afternoons, while Mandy invested her time in tutoring Jack two days a week. On the streets, Mandy stayed hidden, while Shawn was recognized more and more every day.

Mandy doubted that if they left Toronto many people would know who he was, but Toronto was the home base for Terminal. It’s where they had begun, where they were growing, right alongside their fan base. With each new fan, wandering up to Shawn asking for a photo, Mandy felt more and more excluded from his life. Like she didn’t quite fit right, and she didn’t really know what to do with that. Prior to the We the Kings concerts, Mandy had never had an issue fitting with Shawn, or with the band for that matter. They had never clashed, and she had never for a moment doubted Shawn’s presence in her life in the future.

It’s not that Mandy was sitting at home contemplating her relationship with Shawn on the regular, she was far too busy for that, but it was just passing, fleeting moments of discomfort. Of whispers in her ear that she was out of place. Despite that, she did her best to push further into Shawn’s life, despite the demands of teaching. She tried to attend concerts as often as she could, usually at least once a week, sometimes twice. She’d go to the bar with the band after a good set. She wore their merch (because they had merch now) on the weekends, which Shawn found incredibly sexy. She sat in on a few studio sessions, nodding along with the beautiful lyrics Shawn creates.

But weekdays at school felt like a completely different world. Julia from work continued to cause drama between the new teachers, but Mandy had made friends with a first grade teacher from across the hall named Cassie. It was her first year teaching as well, so they often times traded tips and secrets they’d learned through their first two months of classes. It was already nearing October, which was completely insane to Mandy, but her class was doing so well. They were learning to read pretty much right on pace, with only a few stragglers. And their enthusiasm for learning never wavered. She really couldn’t have been fit with a better first class.

Her time with Jack had been productive, and she’d learned a lot about him. He struggled with reading, and Mandy was beginning to suspect that he was exhibiting symptoms of dyslexia. But despite his difficulties, Jack was excited to spend extra time with Mandy.

“Ms. Stein, you make learning so fun.” He’d told her one day last week, “It’s not fun at home.” He’d mentioned quietly.

Mandy had smiled softly, “Well Jack, sometimes people who don’t want to teach, don’t know how to make it fun. It’s not easy to teach someone something new, and it’s not for everyone. But for those who love teaching, they know how to make it enjoyable.”

Her suspicions around Jack had persisted, but with no physical evidence of harm to his person, she had no true basis for reporting his parents. So she continued, day after day, to give him the attention she knew he craved, and to do her best to love him in the only way she could. Mandy was quickly realizing that it was kids like Jack who were her reason for teaching in the first place. She just wanted to make an impact on someone’s life.

That’s all Shawn wanted to do too. Shawn wanted to impact people’s lives with his music. And every day that he performed was a day closer to a climax he’d felt culminating for two months now. Today was a big day. There had been a lot of big days lately, but this was the biggest day the band would have had since playing for We the Kings. Terminal was playing at Scotiabank Arena yet again, this being the fourth time in the span of two months. They’d been asked this time to open for a newer punk band, one that Shawn had heard of before, but not extensively. But another arena show meant there would yet again be a huge audience full of potential new listeners.

Shawn was excited, not only because it was yet another huge accomplishment, but because Mandy would actually be able to attend this time. She’d never seen the band play in a space so big, and Shawn was thrilled to see how she reacted. He was excited to see how she thought they performed in such a big stage. He wanted to know which songs were her favorite to see the crowd explode to. There was just so much that went into this kind of a performance and Mandy had yet to experience it with Shawn on the stage. And looking at Mandy sitting backstage, talking to Zubin about the latest Blink 182 album, he’s just reminded of how much he really loves her. And how despite their obvious difference on the outside, they really did fit well together.

Mandy was dressed in dark wash, high waisted shorts, wearing a lace bralette and a similarly dark washed black jean jacket. She was wearing one of Shawn’s metal rings on her finger, and a velvet choker around her neck. If she was being honest, she was feeling herself. It’d been a long time since Mandy had been able to jump back into the scene. Despite going to many of Terminal’s most recent concerts, there was something different and special about an arena concert. She was indescribably excited to see Shawn and the band play. Her pride was oozing out of her; she could feel it. They’d come so far since the garage, and there had even been talk about hiring a part time publicist to help with booking and media.

“Okay, babe,” Shawn came up to Mandy, helping her up to standing. “We’ve got to go get ready to take our places. You know how to get to the seats I showed you?”

Mandy nodded, rolling her eyes, “Shawn we’ve seen a million concerts here together, I think I know how to find my seats.”

Shawn chuckled; she wasn’t wrong.

“Break a leg, babe.” Mandy smiled sweetly, kissing Shawn’s lips before skipping away, waving at the boys over her shoulder.

Mandy ended up on the third row of the venue in the midst of a throng of girls who seemed genuinely just as excited for Terminal as they did for the headliner. Mandy smiled to herself, enjoying the pulsing beat of screaming under her feet. It took about two minutes for the band to get into place, and the boys began playing a beat that built up to Shawn’s scream of, “Toronto! How we doin’ tonight?” The entire arena erupted in ear piercing screams, and Mandy thought she was seeing stars. Her blood pumped with a mixture of nerves and excitement for Shawn, but she knew he’d be just fine. He was a natural. Like always, Shawn opened with Mess of Me. The song had the right sound and energy to get an arena full of people hyped up, even if they had no idea who Terminal was. They’d know after tonight, and that’s what mattered.

The girl next to Mandy seemed particularly excited for their set. When Shawn transitioned out of Mess of Me and into a song called Wonderful Feeling, the unnamed girl hollered along with every lyric, despite the song having been released only three days ago. The song was a slower beat than Mess of Me, wasn’t much for a punk hit honestly, but it was Shawn.

“Ain't it funny how you fight what you need the most?” Shawn sang softly through the microphone. His voice captivated the audience, causing a hush amongst even the most devoted of fans.

The girl next to Mandy whispered along with Shawn, “Yeah, but I can finally feel my soul tonight.”

The song came to an end like any other, and Mandy looked over to the girl, who happened to look back at her at the same moment. They exchanged soft smiles, but clearly invested in what was taking place on stage as if it were monumental in some way.

“Toronto,” Shawn smiled breathlessly, “We love playing for you.” Shawn went into his typical bit of introducing the band members. The crowd went crazy for Zubin, which Mandy noticed as a new development that Zubin just laughed fondly at. Shawn finished with a shout, “We are Terminal. Now let’s kick it up a notch!”

Shawn began to play a song which she recognized instantly as Needle and Haystack Life. It was one of Mandy’s favorites, and by the looks of it unnamed girl’s favorite too. She was jumping and screaming in excitement with Shawn’s opening riff. Mandy wanted to laugh fondly at the girl and her enthusiasm, but instead found herself caught up in the whirlwind that this girl seemed to evoke. Mandy was screaming the lyrics with the girl, jumping just as high, laughing just as hard, having just as much fun. It was electric.

Shawn was onstage feeling himself through the music, his voice getting raspy in certain parts of the song in the way the audience died for. Mandy wondered for a moment what Terminal meant to the people in the audience. Was it good music? Or did it mean something more for them, like punk music had been for her and Shawn?

Despite being mostly out of the punk scene now, the Mandy that Shawn had met in college was a stark cry from the Mandy he new today. Mandy then had been the one who’d taken Shawn to his first punk rock concert in a basement bar in Toronto on a weeknight. Shawn had already loved music, but Mandy was the reason Shawn found his place. The punk scene meant something different for everyone, but for Mandy it meant acceptance. In a time when most of Mandy’s friends had left her side, and she’d been left alone struggling to find who she was, the punk scene had welcomed her in with open arms. It’d given her a place to experiment with new ideas and to fail and be okay with that. It’d celebrated her successes with her, and pushed her to move past the failures. It’d made her decidedly a better person.

She wondered what it was for the people in the arena today. What it meant for the girl standing next to her.

Shawn rounded out Needle and Haystack Life with a, “We are once in a lifetime,” and a huge outro chord.

“You doing okay back there, Zubin?” Shawn smirked as he turned his head towards Zubin.

“I’m fucking stellar, Shawn.”

“That’s good, eh.” Shawn laughed, “This next song is called Terminal.” Shawn’s guitar changed keys and mellowed out a bit.

He went on to give a little bit of backstory to the song and the subsequent name of the band. Mandy chose this moment to tap the girl’s shoulder next to her, deciding she really needed to know the answer to her questions. The girl turned to look at Mandy with a smile. She was wearing clothes in a similar fashion to Mandy. They were both clad in shorts despite it being September and Canada. Fuck the cold.

“I’m Mandy,” Mandy offered her hand with a smile.

“Shelby!” she responded.

“How long have you liked Terminal?” Mandy ventured.

Shelby beamed, “Saw them on the second We the Kings show! Aren’t they fucking awesome?”

Mandy mirrored Shelby’s expression, “They are.” But Mandy’s statement held a softness that was lacking in Shelby’s.

“I just love Shawn,” Shelby went on. “God he’s so fucking hot, eh?” She smiled at Mandy. “Their music though, I mean, I know I haven’t known about it that long but it’s life changing. I mean the lyrics just scream to me.” An expression crossed Shelby’s face before she stopped talking, almost like she realized she’d begun to ramble to a complete stranger.

“No, I get it,” Mandy agreed. “They’re pretty amazing.” She beamed up at Shawn, her heart full of love for the boy.

“What about you?” Shelby asked just as Shawn began playing the opening chord to Terminal. “How do you know about them?”

Mandy laughed, “Oh, I’m Shawn’s girlfriend.”

“Why the fuck would you tell her you’re my girlfriend?” Shawn was screaming at Mandy the next day.

Shelby had, apparently, shared Mandy’s relationship with Shawn with the rest of Instagram, which had now also spread to Twitter.

“Because it’s the truth?” Mandy asked confused, not entirely sure why Shawn was yelling at her for no fucking reason.

“It doesn’t matter than it’s the truth, Mandy! The fans shouldn’t know about us.” Shawn was pacing the living room, looking like he was about to come unraveled at the seams. Mandy swore he was going to wear a hole in the floor at this rate.

”You’ve never had an issue with people knowing about us before. Why now?” If Mandy weren’t confused before, she certainly was now.

“Mandy, don’t be so naive.” Shawn rolled his eyes. “They think I’m single. They think we are all single. And it should have stayed that way.”

“But you’re not single…” Mandy really was trying to keep up, but this made no sense to her. She told someone that she had a boyfriend. What was the big fucking deal?

“Mandy, the fans need to think I’m available for them.”

“But you’re not.”

“That doesn’t fucking matter, Mandy! You can’t just go around spewing our personal information!” He was screaming again, and frankly Mandy was already over this conversation despite it just starting.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you having a small amount of success suddenly meant I had to become mute.” Mandy seethed.

This was fucking ridiculous. She’d told a girl at a concert she was dating Shawn. Which was the truth. And Shelby had been completely normal about the fact. She hadn’t freaked out on her or anything. In fact her response was literally, “That’s fucking cool.” Then they’d continued to enjoy the concert. That was it. That was the extent of their conversation. It’s not like Mandy had spilled some juicy scandal that was career ending.

Shawn would have to have a fucking career to end in the first place, but she wasn’t about to say something like that. That was Mandy’s bitterness talking.

“God, you’re so dense sometimes, Mandy.” Shawn was facing away from her, but if he’d been looking at her he would have seen the flash of hurt that crossed her face.

“Well, I guess now you can go find someone smarter.” And with that Mandy stalked off into their bedroom, locking the door behind her.

___

Despite living in the same house, it was surprisingly easy to avoid Shawn like he was the plague. Mandy had seen him, sure. But she hadn’t spoken to him in three whole days, despite some of Shawn’s shitty attempts to make peace.

It was on day four, when it all came to a head though. Mandy was at school, getting read to go to her planning hour when her phone started vibrating in her pocket. She pulled it out, seeing Shawn’s face appear on her screen. She instinctively smiled, seeing the picture of they’d taken on their last date. Shawn was looking especially ravishing, biting his lip, showing off her favorite of his lip rings.

Deciding it was possibly time to stop being petty, Mandy picked up the phone, hoping it wasn’t something serious.

“Hello?”

“Since you won’t fucking talk to me at home, I guess this is how we’re sharing news with each other now.” Shawn sighed. He didn’t sound angry with her, just resigned. “Blink-182 asked the band to open for them.”

“Shawn that’s great,” Mandy smiled into the phone, completely forgetting everything they’d been through. Allowing herself to just be happy in this moment for Shawn’s accomplishments.

“Mandy,” Shawn whispered. She listened intently, “It’s for a world tour, and it starts in two weeks. I’m going to be gone for 13 months.”

[tagged in comments]

also this is Mandy’s concert outfit if you care cus its fucking hot

#shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #imagine #fic #fanfic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes writing #my writing #mine #writing

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