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writerslittlelibrary · 5 months

Note

how aboutttt

recently rescued ex-hydra!teen!reader has a pretty bad nightmare and goes to natasha for comfort ⁉️

Can I stay with you tonight?

masterlist requests masterlist

summary: after you were rescued from Hydra by the Avengers, you had been living with them. however, a change of scenery doesn't mean you forget everything that's ever happened to you…

pairing: Natasha x teen reader

warnings: mentions of abuse?

genre: fluff, (angst?)

words: 1116

a/n: this one is kinda short, so I apologize, but I loved this request, and I hope I did alright!

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

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Your breath was heavy as you ran as fast as your little legs would take you. You could hear the soldiers screaming, trying to find you as you heard the barlings dogs drawing closer. You ran through the snow, pushing the branches out of your way as you tried to get as far away from the Hydra base as possible.

The sound of the soldiers seemed to fade, and you had hope you finally lost them.

That hope was quickly forgotten as you fell face first into the snow, a dog biting your arm as it kept you down. The dog had jumped you from the side, pushing you to the ground and easily standing on top of you, biting and scratching as you felt the blood starting to pour-

-------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up gasping, sweat on your forehead as you reached for your arm, running your fingers over the permanent scar adorning it, the only proof remaining of what had happened that night.

When you reached your hands up, you felt your cheeks were wet. You must've cried at some point during the night. You were heaving, trying to keep in the sobs as you realized what you had dreamt about. You were so close to escaping that night.

It didn't take long until the tears were streaming again, sobs wrecking through your whole body as you folded your arms over your stomach, almost hugging yourself.

That night was one of many you wished you could forget.

Natasha had asked you about it. Ever since coming to the Avengers tower, she'd ask you every now and then how you were doing, and if you were experiencing any nightmares. She'd tell you it was normal, and that her and Bucky often got nightmares after they were first rescued. You'd shrug her off and deny it, not wanting to talk to anyone about the horrors you had been through, and the horrors you were forced to put others through.

Natasha was persistent, however, and even after many times of denying it, she never believed you.

That's how she knew you were in distress once again tonight. She had Friday alert her every time you were distressed. She was worried about you, of course, but she knew what a person could do after being freed from such a horrible life. She knew better than any other, having been through it herself, and she was afraid you might try to hurt yourself.

Usually, she didn't want to bother you, knowing you liked to keep to yourself, and she was afraid that if she'd push your personal space, you'd just push her further away.

However, tonight Friday alerted her you were much more distressed than usual, and it scared Natasha. What if you'd have to cry alone in your room, covering your sobs and trying to keep quiet because you were afraid someone would notice, and would get mad. What if you'd try to be fine and strong, and only fall apart when you were alone, just like she did…

And so, Natasha set a course for your room, bringing a stuffed animal with her she had bought for you. She knew you were a teenager, of course, but she also knew you had never owned anything a normal child would own, and she wanted to help you heal from that trauma.

When she reached your room, she hesitated for a moment, not knowing if walking in, or knocking, would be the best approach. What if you'd feel caught? What if you'd think Natasha was there to hurt you for showing weakness?

Natasha settled just walking in was the best approach. That way you wouldn't have time to try and hide your sadness.

And so, Natasha opened the door, her heart breaking when she saw the little human ball on the bed. You were hunched over, your knees to your chest and your arms hugging them. Natasha didn't miss the way your breath hitched when you heard the door open and close.

Natasha walked to your bed carefully but quickly. She wanted to comfort you without giving you much time to think about it.

She sat down on the bed, keeping her distance from you, not wanting to scare you but wanting to let you know she was there. You didn't dare look at her, and Natasha was unsure of what to do next.

"Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly, and you shook your head. “No one is going to be mad at you for being upset, okay?” she continued, and you didn't give her a response. " I brought you something…” Natasha then said, placing the stuffed animal she brought on the bed next to you.

You looked at it carefully, staring at Natasha with big, watery eyes as she gave you an encouraging nod, urging you to take it.

Your movement was quick as you reached for it, clutching the stuffed animal to your chest, hugging it tightly. It was then Natasha noticed the reddened scars on your arm, indicating you must've scratched at the already existing scars.

Natasha shuffled a little closer, careful not to invade your space too much.

"Can I see that?” she then asked, motioning her hand towards your scar. You shook Your head and pulled your arm away, turning slightly so your back was now facing Natasha.

"I just wanna help you, I promise,” Natasha pushed, and she shuffled closer again, now almost sitting next to you. You were still sniffling softly, and Natasha knew you were still terrified from whatever Nightmare you had.

Carefully, Natasha placed her arm around you and lightly pulled you into her chest. It didn't take long before you broke down, letting yourself fall onto Natasha as she rubbed your back, comforting you the best she could.

"It's gonna be okay…” Natasha tried reassuring you, but your sobs just grew.

"The dogs…” you sobbed. "The dogs got me. They bit me and pulled me down when I tried to run away when I was seven…” you cried out, and Natasha shushed you as she hugged you closer.

"It's okay, you are safe now. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise,” Natasha reassured, and you hugged her closer.

"Please don't leave me alone,” you cried out, and Natasha pulled you closer. " I'm never leaving you alone, y/n,” she promised, as she made a move to lie down on the bed, pulling you to lay on her chest.

"Try to get some sleep. I'm here, I'll protect you,” Natasha said as she stroked your back, feeling your breathing slowly even out, the stuffed animal still tight to your chest.

" I'll always protect you…”

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @daddyshuri

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panic-in-the-multiverse · 2 years

Text

MARVEL

Warnings = **

x teen!reader / x child!reader / x daughter!reader / x gn!reader / x reader / x sibling!reader

I don’t own Marvel or any of the characters in Marvel , I only own the imagines that I have created in tumblr or wattpad.

Main masterlist

MCU CHARACTERS

IMAGINE

Pizza & Cuddles ** - Kate Bishop x reader: You blind in one eye and Kate helps you get by

Family Reunion ** - Baron Zemo x teen!reader, Sam Wilson x teen!reader, Bucky Barnes x teen!reader: Zemo si your father and you have a bad relationship with him after what he did in CACW and he’s trying to fix your relationship (coming soon)

B-u-c-k-y? Bucky ** - father!Bucky Barnes x child!reader: The beginning of your relationship with your father and a glimpse at the progress

SERIES

Lead Me Home ** - Steve Rogers x sibling!reader, Bucky Barnes x Rogers!teen!reader, Sam Wilson x Rogers!teen!reader: you are Steve Rogers little sibling and Hydra kidnapped you after Steve disappeared, no one except Hydra knew what happened to you until today (coming soon)

HEADCANNON

Dating Kate Bishop Would Include ** - Kate Bishop x reader: what I imagine it would be like to date Kate Bishop

Dating Yelena Belova Would Include ** - Yelena Belova x reader: what I imagine it would be like to date Yelena Belova (coming soon)

Tony Stark as a Father ** - Tony Stark x teen!reader: what I imagine it would be like if Tony Stark was your father

Steve Rogers as a Father ** - Steve Rogers x teen!reader: what I imagine it would be like if Steve was your father

Being Star Lord’s daughter** - Peter Quill x daughter!reader: what it would be like to be Peter Quills daughter

Being Marc Spector’s sibling** - Marc Spector x teen!reader, (Steven Grant x teen!reader, Konshu x teen!reader, Jake Lockley x teen!reader): what I think it would be like to be Marc’s little sibling

X-MEN CHARACTERS

IMAGINE

SERIES

HEADCANNON

Being Logan’s daughter ** - Logan Howlett x daughter!reader: what I imagine it would be like to be Logan’s daughter

Being Logan’s ftm son **- Logan Howlett x ftm!son!reader: what it would be like if you were Logan’s ftm son

Being Deadpool’s daughter would include ** - Wade Wilson/Deadpool x teen!daughter!reader: what it would be like to be Deadpool’s daughter (coming soon)

DAREDEVIL • PUNISHER • VENOM • WEREWOLF BY NIGHT • SPIDER-VERSE

IMAGINE

Coffee Talks** - Frank Castle x teen!reader: you met Frank a while back at your fave coffee shop and since then you two have met up each weak to talk, only this time it’s not only Frank who has bruises all over his face

Birthday Special- Matt Murdock x teen!reader: it’s your birthday and Matt is the only one who knows how you really want to celebrate your birthday

Nonexistent Eating Patterns** - Matt Murdock x teen!reader: you haven’t been eating sleeping or drinking as you should and Matt is there to help

SERIES

Little Murder ** - Billy Russo x teen!reader: you try to get into Anvil so that you can learn how to protect yourself against your abusive parents, and in doing so you made Russo interested into why a teenager that’s too young to join the army wants to join Anvil which is made for ex-military to get a job, and eventually he finds out about your family situation. (Coming soon)

HEADCANNON

Being Eddie Brock’s daughter would include ** - Eddie Brock x teen!daughter!reader, Venom x teen!reader, Anne Weying x teen!daughter!reader: what I would be like to be Eddie Brock and Anne Weying’s daughter (coming soon)

Daredevil’s teen sidekick ** - Matt Murdock x teen!reader: what it would be like to be daredevil’s sidekick (coming soon)

Jack Russell adopting a child ** - Jack Russell x child!reader: Jack finds a child and decides to take care of it

Venom **- father Miguel O’Hara x teen!venom!reader: being Miguel O’Hara’s child while also being Venom/Spider-Man

MCU CAST

IMAGINE

You Okay Darling? ** - Tom Hiddleston x teen!reader: Tom helping you after a fight with your parents

SERIES

HEADCANNON

A Dream Come True - Jake Gyllenhaal x teen!reader: you persuade Jake to go to an amusement park

Tree House - Jake Gyllenhaal x child!reader: Jake building a tree house for you while in quarantine

Surprise - Jake Gyllenhaal x teen!reader: Jake (your father) gets surprised when he sees that you had taken home two dogs

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rachaelswrites · 2 years

Text

School Again

Bucky Barnes x Daughter!reader, Sam Wilson x Teen!reader

The thought of having to go to school again doesn’t sit well with you

Word Count: 1,183

A/N: Takes place after tfatws. Reader is about 15/16

After all the craziness of Karli and the Flagsmashers, Sam invited you and your dad to stay with him, the boys, and Sarah. It was a change to leave New York after all this time but it was a good change for the both of you. Life was so much more relaxed and nobody expected you to do anything. You could finally enjoy life.

In your weeks staying with Sam and his family, you got closer to both Cass and AJ. Cass was only two years younger than you but you got along well. AJ was a bit younger but he helped you on things you missed out when you were with HYDRA. When they were both at school, you took to annoying either your dad or Sam to pass the time.

After your second month staying at the Wilson house, you were all having your regular Friday night dinners. You were all gathered around the table and sharing news from the week. Your dad and Sam had been quieter than usual and your dad seemed nervous, making you nervous also.

“Y/n,” your dad finally spoke after AJ was done talking about his school’s field trip in two weeks, “We need to talk about something.”

“What?” you asked in a panicked voice, “Am I in trouble?”

“No you’re not in trouble,” he said.

“Then what is it?” you asked, setting your silverware down on the table.

“Dr. Raynor called me and said that since we’ve been here, you’ve been off book,” he started, “That just means no one knows what you’re up to here and they don’t really like that. They need you to do something.”

“What do you mean do something dad?” you asked.

“She mentioned how you could go to school or work around here. They just need some kind of record of what you’re doing.”

“Why are they so obsessed with what I’m doing? I’m not doing any of that,” you argued, “I’m not a criminal.”

“No one is saying you are Y/n,” Sam explained.

“I”m not doing that,” you said again, “I’m not.”

“You don’t really have a choice Y/n.”

“No,” you said loudly, standing up from the table, “I’m not going to school.”

“Then you can stay here and work the docks.”

“No,” you said again.

“Y/n,” your dad said, “You don’t have a choice.”

You ignored him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Y/n,” he said again, a bit harsher.

Instead of answering, you pushed your chair back and stood up, storming out of the room. Everyone just sat there, not really knowing what to do.

“Go talk to her,” Sarah finally said.

Both Sam and Bucky got up from their seats and went to your room, “Y/n?” Sam asked.

“You yes, dad no,” you said, only wanting to talk to Sam right now.

Bucky sighed. He was frustrated you weren’t talking to him but he wasn’t going to ignore your request. It was better than nothing.

Sam went into your room and closed the door behind him, “What’s this really about?” he asked, sitting in the chair at your desk.

“This is unfair,” you said, “I don’t need to be monitored by anyone. I’m not a criminal.”

“I agree with you,” he started, “But I can tell there’s something else bugging you about this. Now I know it's not about working on the docks because you love doing that. You always jump at the chance to do that so it must be the school thing. Why don’t you want to go to school?”

“Take a guess,” you snapped, sitting on your bed, “I’m an ex-HYDRA spy turned Avenger who hasn’t gone to school since she was eight. And that was like eighty years ago.”

“So you’re scared?”

“I’m not scared Sam,” you argued, “I don’t belong in a school.”

“Why do you think that? You’re just like every other teenager I know, ignoring all the superhero stuff,” Sam said back.

“But I’m not. I don’t know how to just be a kid like they do.”

“So you are scared?”

You huffed, “No I said I wasn’t scared. I’m just anxious.”

Sam tried not to laugh but he couldn’t help but let a small chuckle slip through, “Those are pretty similar feelings. There’s not much difference Y/n.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m not going.”

“Fine,” Sam said, standing up from his spot. He went to the door and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

“What did she say?” Bucky asked. He was leaning against the wall across from your door.

“She’s adamant on not going. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to convince her,” Sam said.

Bucky sighed, “I mean I don’t want to force her to go but I don’t have a choice. I’ll go and talk to her.”

Bucky went into your room and ignored your shout for him to get out.

“Dad, get out!” you shouted, close to tears.

“Y/n calm down. I just want to talk to you,” he said, sitting on the end of your bed.

“Well I don’t. So leave me alone,” you laid back on the bed and pulled the covers over your head, hiding from your dad.

“What’s going on with you? You’re acting weird,” he said, pulling the covers back off of you, “Tell me what’s up.”

“I’m not going to be forced to go to school, dad. I don’t want to go. How many times do I have to say it before it gets into your head?” you snapped, “That’s my problem.”

“You used to love school,” Bucky said.

“That was before,” you said softly.

“Before HYDRA?”

You nodded, making Bucky lean backwards and rest his back against the wall, “What?” you asked, confused by his reaction.

“I just wish you had said that sooner. If you had said that Sam and I wouldn’t have pushed it more. We would’ve figured it out,” he said, “I thought we talked about you telling me things like this.”

“I know but I felt dumb. I’m trying to get over it and move on but I can’t,” you explained.

“Hey,” he said softly, “You have every right to still be working through it. They took your chance at a regular life away and it’s okay to be dealing with it still.”

“Do you really mean that or are you just saying that to make me feel better? Because I really don’t want a fake dad talk right now.”

“Y/n, do I ever say stuff I don’t mean?”

“You’re very good at sarcasm so I would say yes.”

Bucky reached over and gently smacked your arm.

“Okay okay I take it back,” you said, putting your hands up in defense, “You’re not one to lie, especially for someone’s ego.”

Bucky laughed lightly, “You’re right. But I want you to know that we’ll figure something out with this whole thing. I don’t want you to worry about it.”

“I’ll try not to,” you said back. You leaned across the bed and hugged him, “Thank you.”

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @prentisswrites @laura-naruto-fan1998 @multifamdomfan12 @aquariuslavenderhoney @jjmybeloved @vxidsti1es @waxingmoonwrites @benbarnesbussy @hallecarey1 @freds-slut @ssa-uglywhore27 @czlypso (for some reason I can’t tag you) @sweetpeterparker @spiritualchange @im-in-love-with-pizza-bites @llpovi @bunnyweasley23 @mrchiipchrome

Marvel

@lonely-dead-poets @coffeeandbooksaddict @markhyucksmells

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knights-jedi · 3 years

Text

It works

Bucky Barnes x Male Reader

Summary: You and Bucky can't sleep so you turn to each other

Warnings: Mentions of nightmares

Considering the Avengers compound had two highly-trained, previously brainwashed, ex-assassins recovering there, things were relatively peaceful. Knowing you were safe after being rescued by the avengers had helped somewhat with the nightmares, but you would still wake up every few nights panting, covered in sweat, memories of the missions you had been sent on during your time at HYDRA flickering through your brain. No matter how much tossing and turning you did, you would be unable to fall back asleep, so on those nights you would give up and start your day early, heading for a shower and then the kitchen.

This is where you and Bucky usually had your meetings. You would exchange sleepy "Good mornings", and then sit in a comfortable silence, just the two of you, while you ate breakfast, a mutual understanding that neither of you wanted to talk about why you were up at this ungodly hour.

After a few weeks of waking up like this, the effects were starting to show themselves. You were becoming a lot more snappy and spending less time with the others, easily creating arguments where there wasn't any. You had noticed you were seeing less of Bucky as well, everyone seemed to be avoiding you both until finally Tony had had enough of the two of you "glaring and sniping at everyone like teenagers" as he had put it, and had called you both into the living area, where you found him and Steve waiting.

With a huff you crashed down onto the sofa, feeling the sofa dip next to you as Bucky mimicked your actions. Even with how irritable you both were, feeling Bucky's presence brought a calmness to you both, reassuring each other that you were there for each other even if you didn't feel like it.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Steve spoke first, "We just wanted to check on you both, we noticed you've both been..." here he trailed off, trying to find the right words until Tony interjected.

"Miserable to be around, and everyone is sick of it. You two need to sort your shit out". There was no real anger behind the words, just a tiredness.

Steve's faced turned into a frown as he turned to confront Tony, who had already started walking away, hands thrown up in exasperation and Steve followed him, leaving you and Bucky alone.

There was a moments silence before Bucky finally spoke with a sigh, "As much as I hate to admit it, he's right you know." That brought a slight smile to your face as you hummed in agreement.

With a yawn you ran your hand through your hair before letting your head fall against the back of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling as you questioned "How though?".

There was a pause before Bucky stood, catching your attention as you followed him with your eyes. Before you could say anything he had gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto your feet and lead you through the compound, past your room and into his.

You cocked your eyebrow in question as Bucky let go and said nothing while he climbed into his bed, patting the empty space next to him. "It worked whenever we were out on missions together, so might as well try it now" he tiredly grumbled before laying down, facing to the right.

Although you had your doubts, you were too tired to argue as you climbed into next him, facing away from him. It took a few minutes of shuffling around until both of you had been lulled to sleep, gentle breaths the only sound filling the room.

Hours later, Tony and Steve had returned to the living area, questioning each other on where you and Bucky had gone. Clint and Natasha had wandered into the conversation, claiming they had seen you both heading back towards the bedrooms. Following in your footsteps they first arrived at your room, gently knocking before opening your door, confused when it was empty. They walked a couple of rooms down to Bucky's where they repeated the process, except this time they froze and held their breath when they took a few steps into the room, not expecting the sight before them.

You were both fast asleep, you were still sleeping on your side, but now Bucky was pressed tightly into your back, one arm slung over your waist, legs tangled together and his head tucked into the back of your neck. When neither of you reacted they silently stepped back out into the hallway, shutting the door and turning to each other. Steve's face was in disbelief, while Tony, Clint and Natasha were smirking at each other.

"Told you they would end up sleeping with each other." Natasha whispered to Clint with a grin like the cheshire cat as he pulled out his wallet and handed her a 10 dollar bill.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x male reader #marvel #my writing

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justasecretwriter · 2 years

Text

Dúfa (Part Ten of "The Bad Guy")

Title | Dúfa

Series | The Bad Guy (Part Ten)

Summary | Y/N is the new member of the Avenger’s team and is slowly adjusting to life as Tony’s secretary/assistant. She is also an ex-Hydra slave training to be an Avenger. She has grown quite close with the frowned-upon team member, Loki, and everyone fought her when she accepted his offer for a bookstore date. After a successful date at the bookstore, they return to the headquarters. Haunted by her past, she finally breaks down and tells Loki. How will he react?

Pairings | Loki x Y/N, Steve x Bucky, Peter P. x Unnamed Boy

Genre | Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Story Warnings | Bullying (maybe?), Yelling, Mentions of Y/N’s past, Vomit

Series Warnings | Cursing, Mental Illness (Depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc.), sex, explicit sex, drinking, possible drug use, mentions of LBGTQ+, subtle and not-so-subtle homophobia, tell me if you see more.

Translations | dúfa – Dove – Old Norse

Author's Note | I’ve changed a few things about my story intro setup. As you can see, I’ve added a genre tab to label fics as smut, fluff, angst, and more; as well as one for translations.

Also, I would like to announce that this is my 100th post on Tumblr!

This story takes place in a perfect universe where Nebula snapped instead of Tony, and Thanos is dead. Everyone else is alive, and all is well. Peter Parker is openly bisexual. AKA: This is how Marvel SHOULD have gone.

Words | 2,144

Loki insisted on opening the car door for me, showing me that perhaps deep down, there was a gentleman within him.

I stepped out into the sun and looked up at his face, immediately blushing under his gaze. Nervously, I reached for his hand, and he stared at it for a long while before grabbing my hand and holding me closer than expected.

I bit my lip to hide my grin before we were walking into the building and passed the security check-in.

The elevator was awkward. Me, Loki, and Bruce all stood in silence while Loki and I kept exchanging glances like that of lovesick teenagers.

When the doors slid open, I noticed two things immediately.

1. Everyone was in the living room and staring at us.

2. Bucky was on Steve's lap, and it was ridiculously cute.

I gulped as we stepped out into the open and the room went quiet. Everyone's eyes flickered from me to Loki, and our entwined hands.

"Heya Y/N. Mr. Loki." Peter said cheerfully, always being the best at breaking awkward tension. "Did you get good books?"

Loki held up the bags of books he insisted on carrying. "We did."

While Loki's voice was neither nice nor rude, his face looked decently polite. I squeezed his hand and he peeked down at me, even daring to smile.

He started pulling me down the hallway towards the library as Peter continued telling Tony and Steve about a boy he was going on a date with. I almost asked to stay and listen to him, to encourage him, but when I looked into Loki’s eyes, I melted.

I knew Peter, Steve, and Bucky dealt with awful people in the public regarding their sexualities. Tony told me that once Peter was jumped and beat up a few days after the public found out that their friendly neighborhood Spiderman was bisexual. Bucky and Steve were called names every time they went out together. They’d begun having dates at private places where no one could bother them.

But I had no time to let my thoughts wander before we were turning into the library entrance. Loki still held my hand, which gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach, while he pulled me over to the couch we usually sat on.

He used to sit in the chair but ever since that day I had an interaction with Steve, he’s sat next to me on the couch. He always sat as far on the opposite side as he could. Loki was an enthusiastic fan of personal space. Even now, with our interlocked fingers, there was at least a foot between us.

Again, he sat on the other end, and placed the bag of books in between us, starting to sort through what was his and what was mine. While I desperately wanted to move the bag and get closer to him, I held back, wondering if maybe it was a trauma thing from the brainwashing, or childhood experiences.

I made a mental note to ask Thor.

“I had fun,” I whispered, reaching for my Stephen King book, Carrie.

He looked at my face, and a soft grin stretched across his thin lips. “So did I,”

“I could probably convince Tony to let this happen more often since you did behave.” He chuckled. “Maybe I could even convince him to drop Bruce.”

He met my eyes again, his face soft, but blank. He only nodded, and then sat back with his book, crossing his legs, and falling back into a gentle silence. I watched him for a moment, not caring that he knew I was staring.

He’d caught me a few times before, never seeming offended, just merely curious. I had been warned repeatedly that Loki was a selfish, arrogant, cocky creature that only cared about himself and his rise to power. But since knowing him, I’d never seen those things. He was quiet, shy even; timid.

I wondered how they saw him as anything less than what he was, a god.

“Weak,” Bucky spit once he had me pinned against the ground again. “You make the same moves over and over Y/N; you’re predictable. If we let you into the battlefield, the only thing we’d bring back is a body bag.”

I huffed, sitting back up and glaring at him.

“I’m trying, okay?”

“You’re distracted. You’re fighting with your hands, but not with your mind.” He knelt next to me, handing me my water bottle and a cold rag.

I sighed, wiping my face down and taking a big drink.

“Talk to me,” Bucky said, rubbing my shoulder. “Where’s your head at?”

“I’m fine. I’m here.” I tried standing up to train more, but Bucky pushed me down back and shook his head.

“Y/N…” I groaned, sitting back on the matt, and looking up at his face. “I heard Tony and Fury talking.”

His head tilted.

“About Loki,”

“Ahh…”

“Stark wants to send him back to Asgard.”

“What does Fury want?”

“That’s the thing. Fury wants to make him an Avenger, officially.” Bucky still didn’t seem to understand why I was so worried, so I continued. “If they give him the option between becoming an Avenger, and going home… He’ll go back to Asgard.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

I tilted my head in confusion, and he said, “Before, maybe. But before he had no reason to stay. And now I’d say he does. He’d stay for you, I think.”

“Bucky there’s no way I have enough impact on him to come to that conclusion.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And I’ve seen the way you look back at him. We all have. Why do you think we’re so worried about you?”

I laughed, and he stood, offering me his hand.

“Still, the opportunity to be home? Back with his mother? In the place he’s grown up in. I wouldn’t turn that down if I were given the option and had such a castle as my childhood home.”

“You never did tell me about your childhood,” Bucky mused, walking ahead of me.

I froze.

“Now that I think of it, you’ve never told me anything about you.” He turned. “Y/N? You okay?”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah, yes, I’m fine. I’m just uhm, I need to use the restroom.” I all but ran from the gym, barely making it to the restroom in time to vomit.

I wiped the tear away, feeling slightly pathetic for crying. But going through Hydra files about me always made me cry. Though they weren’t really about me. Sure, it was my body that did all these things, but it wasn’t me.

I hadn’t told anyone on the Avengers about my past as the Grim Reaper. Hell, I hadn’t told anyone. And the only person who knew about my time in the Red Room was Fury, and he promised to keep it out of all the records. No one was to ever know who I was.

I jumped when I heard a knock at my door and wiped my face, sniffling and composing myself enough to yell, “Who is it?”

“It’s me.” Loki’s golden voice yelled back.

I closed the files and my computer, shoving them to the side so I could slide my jacket on and stand to get to the door. I opened it, and Loki looked at me through his long lashes. He held two mugs, one with tea and one with chocolate. He grinned at me.

“You did not show at the library.”

“I honestly didn’t think you’d notice.”

Loki’s face dropped, and for the first time, he looked sad.

“Of course, I noticed. May I come in?”

“Sure.” I opened the door and stepped out of his way as he handed me my mug. It steamed as I blew on it lightly.

He strolled in, appearing to glance around the room in a slow, judgmental fashion. I wondered if it would be of his approval, but he said nothing, just sat carefully on the very edge of my bed, as if he was scared to break it.

He glanced at the stacks of papers and then at me, “Hydra files?”

“I was just peaking through some old missions. Tony said they may let me go on a small one next month if I keep up with training.”

“That’s good.”

I sat in the middle of the bed, crossing my legs and laying a pillow in my lap to rest my hot mug on. A long, silent second passed before he spoke again.

“James called me.”

“Bucky,” I corrected, and he grinned.

“Bucky called me.”

“That snitch,” I whispered, making him smirk with a glint of mischief in his beautiful emerald eyes.

“I would not quite say that. He did not give me very much information but told me to check on you.”

“You’re not here because I didn’t show at the library.”

“Well, I had planned to ask you about it there, but when you didn’t show, I figured I would come to you. ” I grinned, sipping my hot chocolate carefully. “What happened during training?”

“Nothing,”

“Y/N… It was not'nothing'. You ran and vomited and haven’t come out of your room all day. For an extrovert, that is quite odd.”

“I’m not an extrovert!”

“Of all the things I just said, that is what offends you? You are worse off than I thought.” I nudged his arm, rolling my eyes.

“I had some anxiety. I’m fine.”

“About what?” I took a deep breath. “Against contrary belief, you can trust me, Y/N.”

“I know.” I nodded. “I do trust you. More than anyone here. This just… this is something I’ve never told anyone. And I haven’t said it out loud in so many years, I’m not sure that I can.”

“Then show me.”

I gulped and reached for the Hydra files, handing them to him. He looked at the cover a minute before peaking at me while he opened them. He glanced over the page about the Grim Reaper, and then over the pages about the Red Room.

“I have never heard of him. Was he a soldier?”

“She was who Hydra sent when the soldiers couldn’t finish the job.” I met Loki’s eyes and his face dropped.

“Oh. Oh.”

I gulped, staring down at my steaming mug and not speaking, afraid I would cry. That was the last thing I needed, for Loki to see how weak I was.

Silently, he flipped through the pages for a moment.

“Does Stark know?”

“No one knows. Fury knows about the Red Room, but that’s it. Bucky knows I was there, but he never asked any questions. No one knows the Reaper even exists. I’m the only person with these files, I stole them when I left Hydra.”

“What does Hydra think happened?”

“According to Hydra, the Grim Reaper died in an explosion during the failed assassination of Canada’s prime minister.”

Loki set his mug down on my nightstand, and then the files next to it, crawling over to me. I continued to stare down at my chocolate until he put his index finger beneath my chin and forced my eyes to his. My lip trembled and then he wrapped his arms around me.

“They are never going to hurt you again sweet dúfa. I won’t let them.”

Taglist

@slytherinintj13 @psyc-hot-ic-gingers-kitten

#The Bad Guy #loki #mcu loki #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki x reader #mcu #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki friggason #loki series #reader #y/n #loki x y/n #female y/n #loki x female y/n #female reader

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icyymocha · 3 years

Text

Say You Won’t Let Go

Pt. 1

@the-romanian-is-bae I got your request for Pt.2, I hope you guys like it! It’s a bit long and I got a bit too carried away haha. But I hope you guys enjoy your stay!💚💚

Warnings: fluff, lots of fluff, bits of angst

pairings: Bucky x Fem!reader

word count: 2,736

Summary: Bucky was worried about the reader and later find out that the reader is pregnant with his kid. Bonus, Bucky remembering the memories and nightmares of his life with you.

The tension in Bucky’s head was threatening to spill. It was dark and ominous inside his blackened soul. He was sitting in a corner of his room, shaking with violence. the screams, it won’t go away. Bucky’s head was pounding, he wanted to scream; to tell the voices to shut up. Just so he could think properly. if you squinted properly inside the pitch-black room, you would see his shredded bed, books were thrown in a hazardous way, and clothes were piled up in a bunch. It was a mess—he was a mess.

Clouding inside his own little world, Bucky didn’t realize someone was pounding at his door. Or maybe that was the ringing of guns and violence inside his head? He couldn’t tell. He didn’t hear the door open nor the soft patter of footsteps coming near him. Bucky screamed when he felt a hand on his shoulder; it burned hot. He remembered how Hydra ripped his arm flesh by flesh, rebuilding it with stone-steeled metal. It was painful. Bucky could still feel the pain that lingers on his left side; he missed his fleshed hand.

Gripping the intruder’s wrist, he snarled. His pupils were dilated and his body was shaking. His senses were clouded, he wasn’t himself. Bucky was in his winter soldier mode. Yet, the intruder did nothing but relaxed under his touch. No, no, no, they should be afraid of him. Why aren’t they cowering away? He was bemused. His eyes trailed up to the stranger’s wrist to their eyes.

Bucky’s whole body was rigid. It was her. His breath hitched harshly when he saw those worried eyes full of love. There was a frown plastered on her face. Not from the vice grip he had, but the state he was in.

Wetting his dried lips, Bucky’s voice was hoarse and itchy. He just wanted to sleep everything off, but he can’t. Not when the nightmares crept up his spine and whispered nothing but triggering words, of the blood that was spilled by his bare hands.

“Y-you shouldn’t be here” he croaked

Noticing the bruise that was starting to form on their wrists, he loosened his tight grip. He cowered away from them, backing away until his back hit the wall.

y/n didn’t say anything but cautiously took a step forward the ex-assassin. she watched as he shrank making him look small. Her heart broke hearing his choked cries, so broken and numb. Standing in front of him, you sat down. Watching as Bucky hunches over, brings his knees closer to his chest even more.

She waited, waited, and waited. Every tick of the clock ticking, waiting for the right moment until Bucky can compose himself. Humming to herself a song she knew when she was a little child from her childhood. Bucky's tensed body relaxes when hearing her voice as it pulls him over. He doesn’t know how long the day has passed but it felt like centuries with just you and him. Listening to his ragged breath calming down, you kept humming. You gazed as he slowly shifted in his seat, putting his hands onto his lap. Peering into those crystal blue eyes that showed how tear-stained they were, your heartbreaking even more.

Slowly, the young woman reached her hand out. She watched as the broken man flinched, dissatisfied with his reaction. Inching her way towards his personal space, moving until he finally says “stop.”

Carefully putting your hand on his shoulder as if Bucky was made out of glass, you’d stand by patiently. Seeing that there is no reaction in him, you dragged your hand from his shoulders to his neck, to his cheek, the. stopping at the middle of his hair. Steadily, you threaded your fingers in his hair, noticing how he grunted and quietly groaned in approval.

Watching as he finally eased up and gazing at you with something behind his blue eyes. Did you see hope in his eyes? Like he was waiting to see if you were the one? To give him a chance? To be normal? Your eyes softened when you stared at each other. Pulling away from his hair, Bucky struck his hand to grab at your wrists again. Your eyes widened.

“Mm keep ‘em there...it...felt nice” he mumbled. Easing his grip on your wrists, he placed your hands in his hair again. getting rid of your shocking moment, you quickly found a rhythm of motion, raking your fingers through his hair as if you were petting a cat. Oh your fingers, they were so delicate and soft to the touch. Bucky wanted more. He almost started purring like a kitten.

You felt your knees ache about how long you have been kneeling, somehow Bucky noticed. Using his non-vibranium arm, he scooped you up and put you in his lap. Securing his arms around your waist.

“You’re okay….just know I’m here for you James…” you whispered softly underneath your breath. Bucky gulped. Letting his eyes wander anywhere but you.

The tension in the room washed away with a feeling of tranquility. It was peaceful. You hoped you didn’t make him uncomfortable just now? But what if you did? Oh, how you wanted to know what was going on in his head—

“....thank you…” his voice raspy and quiet. Your ears straining to hear the quiet thank you. You smiled to yourself, letting your hands drop to his shoulders. Wrapping around your arms, you hugged him. Bucky tensed but quickly relaxed into your touch.

Y/n didn’t need to voice out her welcome for Bucky as he knew she welcomed him with open arms no matter what. Bucky felt loved.

Recalling that memory of when he first met you. He couldn’t believe your bold movements to come out of your way by comforting him for your first time meeting him. He couldn’t be more grateful to be greeted with a kind soul. Then, he remembered how months later, Bucky was warming up to the 21st century with you by his side. His eyes linger on your form as you talked with the widow herself, Natasha Romanoff. He watched as you noticed him staring, giving him a warm smile in his direction. Bucky’s lips quirked upwards. He loved seeing your smile. Throughout the night, the both of you danced and drank your hearts out. He chuckled worriedly when the drunken state of you threw up in the toilet. Bucky carefully held your hair up, making sure it didn’t get in the way. Bucky smiled to himself fondly.

During that incident, he watched as you smiled over your shoulders when he called out for you. His heart still flutters every time you smile at him. No matter how many years the two of you have been together, Bucky could never get over the warm feeling in the depth of his stomach. It made him feel like a middle school teenage boy in love. For years he thought he was stone-cold sober but when Bucky pulled you closer to his chest when you asked him to stay over for the night. He couldn’t help but say yes.

“I already told you I’m staying,” Bucky said, pushing you down gently to your bed, smiling. You had a goofy smile as you pulled him down.

“But Buuucky,” you whined out, making a gesture of granny hands at him

He sighed but pulled the blanket over the two of you. Flushing you closer to his chest.

“You should get some rest Doll. You’re gonna get a huge hangover the next morning” he muttered. Waiting until your chest rose evenly and your breathing calmed. Smiling to himself, he hugged you closer as both of you slept.

Just when years had passed by, Bucky knew he loved you before you guys started dating but you’ve never known because Bucky was always so stiff and he tried to play it cool. Because even then, Bucky knew he was scared of letting go, needing you every second of the moment in his life. He never showed it but Bucky wanted to stay with you until the both of you grew grey and old. Resting his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your lower stomach. Bucky couldn’t hold his emotions.

“Just say you won’t let go Doll” he pleaded, nuzzling into your hair and breathing in your scent.

“You know, I wouldn’t let you go for the world Buck,” you reassured the brunette. Intertwining your hands together tightly, and letting him fall on top of you. Letting sleep take over as you both cuddle on the couch.

It was a beautiful morning outside, birds were chirping and flowers were starting to bloom. It was spring. Rays of sunlight peered through the creeks of the closed curtains. Letting the light lit the pitch-black room of the couple’s bedroom and hitting Bucky's sleepy form in the eyes.

Bucky groaned, feeling the sunlight on him. Knowing it was time for him to get up. He squinted his eyes, drowsy from sleep. Blindly, he reached for you on the other side of the bed. Did he always feel this cold? Bucky tried to feel the bed on the other side, only for it to be cold and empty. Bucky immediately sat straight up; alerted. You weren’t there.

Kicking off the blankets, he immediately went into a panicky mode. Bucky becoming the assassin he had become. Using his super hearing from the super-soldier serum that pumps rapidly through his veins. He heard groaning. Cautiously, Bucky walked up to the bathroom doors. Opening the door, he got into a fighting position, vibranium arm out; ready to kill.

Seeing you are not harmed and no suspicious activity, Bucky relaxed.

There was a frown upon his face as he watched you throw up in the toilet. Your back hunched up and crutching your stomach in pain. Bucky sighed. Reaching out, he held your hair just like the drunken night years before. Grimacing when you threw up for the millionth time. Bucky rubbed your back up and down your spine. He waited until you finished.

He watched as his beloved coughed and wiped away the drool off her chin. She groaned and pushed him away slightly. Y/n tried to stand on her trembling knees before she could fall, Bucky quickly caught her with his quick reflexes. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders, securing an arm around her waist.

“Are you okay doll? What happened?” Bucky grimaced. His eyes are full of concern.

She nodded her head. Letting her head rest falling on Bucky’s shoulder. Y/n took moments of heavy breathing before taking a small step forward towards the skin. Bucky followed through. Bucky sighed as she threw up again. Rubbing circles on her back soothingly.

Hours passed by quickly and soon enough it was the afternoon. Bucky observed his darling behaviors when they ate and sat on the couch. He watched as she winced slightly and the growling in her stomach even when she tried so hard to hide it from him. He notices how you wouldn’t finish your plate of food Bucky made, upset that you declined to eat anymore. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed, missing your warmth when you ran to your guy’s shared bathroom; throwing up again.

Seeing you in pain made him upset. He didn’t know what to do, to help ease your pain. Bucky sighed. The former super-soldier decided to get some painkillers for you at the store. Grabbing his jacket and gloves, he left.

Hearing the soft click of the door opening and Bucky’s footsteps fainting in the distance. You pulled out your self-care cabinet to which Bucky didn’t dare to open. He didn’t want to intrude on your privacy (even though Bucky didn’t know why you had to use those skin products. When his curiosity got the best of him, Bucky still won’t dare open your cabinet). Kneeling in pain, you found what you were looking for. A pregnancy test.

You remembered when you told Natasha and Wanda about starting a family with Bucky. You smiled when you watched the two women scream in excitement; happy that they get to be aunts soon. You chuckled when you heard Natasha planning out your baby shower and Wanda carefully telling you to get a pregnancy test before you start doing it. Thank goodness, you listened to your closest friend’s advice. you ripped out the pregnancy test out of its box and bid your business.

No fucking way….

Your jaw dropped open seeing the test in your hand. No fucking way. The results indicated you were pregnant. Wait, there’s no way you’re pregnant? You stood there waiting for the gears in your head to turn. Reality hit you like a truck. Holy fuck. You really are pregnant! You squealed to yourself, jumping up and down with excitement. You were going to be a mom. And Bucky. Oh, Bucky. You bit your lips to contain another squeal. Bucky is going to be a father and you couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

Buying all the things Bucky knew that would comfort you, he went home. Looking at his watch, his eyes narrowed. Fuck. He’s late for dinner. He knew it was going to take a while but damn it, he didn’t think it would take that long. And so, Bucky ran with bags in his hand. Slamming the door open, Bucky puffed and panted.

A variety of smells washed over his senses. His nose scrunched up smelling food? Wait did he smell steak? Kicking the door close and making sure it’s locked, Bucky put the bags of goodies on the kitchen counter. His brows knitted together, looking everywhere for you.

“Doll? Are you out of the bathroom yet!?” He shouted—half-jokingly. Putting away the treats and the painkiller in the medic cabinet. He heard footsteps from a mile away. Turning on his heels, Bucky rose an eyebrow seeing you all giggly. Mischief in your eyes. Before Bucky could say a word to you, the timer went out. Rushing to full of pots boiling, you turn off the pots before it explodes before turning around to meet your lover.

Dragging him to the diner table. He saw a small box wrapped in wrapping paper with care. Bucky raised his eyebrow higher as you giggled, nudging him to open it. Bucky squinted his eyes playfully at you before opening the box. You held a breath in waiting for his reaction. Opening the box, Bucky took a glance. He tensed up. Seeing him tensed up made her worry. Shit…The atmosphere was off, the anticipation eating you up. Bucky’s face was unreadable and stoic. Turning his attention to you. You twiddle your fingers nervously.

“Is it true? Are—are you really pregnant?” Bucky choked out

You gulped and smiled nervously. Oh god. Did he not want to start a family with you now? Is he going to abandon your guy’s child? Oh god, the pregnancy hormones are getting to you.

“Doll…you’re really pregnant?...” Bucky said slowly

He watched as you nodded slowly. Bucky put down the box along with the pregnancy results on the table. Putting his hands on your stomach instinctively. His jaw dropped, his eyes blew from shock, and his eyebrows raised. Bucky couldn’t believe it. After many trials and errors, you’re finally pregnant. You have a child in your stomach—his child. Bucky licked his lips. He is going to be a father soon. A Father… That word rang loudly in his ears. His shocked face soon morphed into one of happiness and joy. His smile grew wider and wider until his eyes were small crescents.

Lifting you off the ground, he screamed in joy. Startled, you laughed along. There were tears in both of your guy’s eyes. After the high adrenaline, Bucky put you down. Placing his forehead against yours. A few tears slipped down your face, your smile hurting your cheekbones but you didn’t care. Bucky kneeled and pressed kisses against your stomach.

“Hey there kiddo, I’ll do anything to protect you and your mom, I’ll make sure of it,” Bucky promised, his eyes shined with stars and a newfound love and determination. You smiled warmly at him. Bucky stood up, grabbing your hand and twirling you in circles.

“We’re going to be parents, darling!” Bucky laughed breathlessly. You laughed as you sniffled. You both slowed dance around your guy’s shared apartment, smiling about your guy’s future. The future of your own little family.

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marvelflame2010 · 1 year

Text

Y/n: Besides, no one's getting hurt!

*A guy who Y/n previously knocked out falls from the bridge she, Steve, and Bucky are standing on and lands on a car.*

Y/n: ...That guy was already up there when I got here

Steve: Y/n, you could be an Avenger! Use your powers for good!

Y/n: But I am using my powers for good

Bucky: What Steve meant was you are a kid, judging on your voice, and we can give you a home. Plus, HYDRA is trying to find you and won't stop

Y/n: I was HYDRA's death squad. I have powers that can destroy people like that. *snaps her fingers*. Besides, I am a dangerous person who doesn't deserve to have a home. I can handle HYDRA myself. *flies off*

Steve: *sighs* She is stubborn

Bucky: Like you

Steve: Hey! That's true

Bucky: Do you think she knows that she was created using you and I's DNA?

Steve: Probably, she has her file. The question is, did she decline our offer or not?

Bucky: She thinks of herself as a monster, so she is going to make it so we don't want her when we do. Pushing people away is not coping with your past. We can help her, we just need to help at her own pace, as well as get her the help she deserves.

Steve: Right. No kid deserves to be alone. Assassin, or not.

Bucky: Now we have to find her again

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knifetoxgunfight · 3 years

Text

Catching Up

Word Count: 1228 Requested: No Summary: Bucky discovers Tik Tok. Genre: Fluff Pairing: Sambucky (Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes) Warnings: None

Main Masterlist

Send a request or join the taglist

Bucky walked into their shared apartment, a new phone in his hand. He seemed perplexed, confused by the small device. He had learned many ins and outs of modern technology in Wakanda, but the internet still confused him. The device was so small, yet could do more than most computers he had ever used. The internet wasn’t even a thought yet in the 40s. He couldn’t quite grasp what it was, why it was so popular, and how to use it. He hadn’t noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, swiping through a particular app he was trying to understand until Sam walked up to him. Sam hadn’t said anything for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest in hopes Bucky would notice him before he spoke. Much to his dismay, Bucky was too enthralled in the small device to pay any mind to Sam. He wasn’t intentionally ignoring the other, he was just incredibly focused. It spoke to his comfort around his lover; He was comfortable enough in their shared apartment to let his guard down and get distracted. Bucky didn’t feel the need to know everything around him all the time here. Sam finally spoke up.

“Bucky? What are you….oh. Need some help, old man?” Sam was just teasing. Cell phones were confusing to people who lived their whole lives in the modern-day, he was astonished Bucky managed to understand half of the things he did. Bucky was so open to new concepts, learning new information, and adapting his behavior. He had such an open mind to learn, something most people in the modern-day lacked. Sam was constantly proud of his boyfriend, but a little teasing was inevitable.

“Shut up, Sam. I’ve got it,” Bucky huffed, resistant to Sam’s help. He wanted to figure it out on his own. He felt like he had something to prove. He belonged here, he just wanted to feel like he did. He felt he belonged here, in this apartment, but in the outside world, he felt so out of time. Everything moved so fast and he barely was able to catch up. He constantly felt that every time he got close, there was something new to learn. Before Bucky had a chance to react, Sam reached forward, snatching the phone from Bucky’s hand.

“Sam stop-”

“Twitter huh? Seems like you got it pretty figured out here. You’re verified.”

“That’s not what I was trying to figure out. Shuri mentioned something about this like tik tok and I wanted to figure it out. I was gonna ask Twitter for help.” He was embarrassed. Bucky thought he sounded like an idiot, not knowing what any of these things were. Young people talked about it all the time, that and a long-gone app called Vine. He hated being around teens because they were barely a fraction of his age and so much more advanced than he was. Teenagers made him feel so far behind. At least around teenagers, he was supposed to feel out of place, but with Sam? He just wanted to be on the same level or at least close.

“I’m impressed. You didn’t have to ask Twitter, I know how tik tok works. C’mere let me show you.” Bucky grumbled. He wanted to do it himself, yet he couldn’t resist the excitement in Sam’s voice. Sam was always so eager to help Bucky, but Bucky felt bad asking for help. These were things any person born of modern times just knew. If Sam had been with anyone else, he wouldn’t have to offer help. Bucky wanted to at least pretend they had a normal relationship.“Okay so you see this plus sign at the bottom of the screen, you tap here to make a video…” They spent hours teaching Bucky the ins and outs of tik tok. They made Bucky an account and posted a few videos. For every one video they posted, they made about 100 drafts of other things. They posted some on Sam’s account, some on Bucky’s. Viewers loved Bucky and loved their relationship. They quickly became a tik tok power couple. Bucky was verified rather quickly and eventually found his niche. Most of the cute couple videos were usually on Sam’s account, but Bucky had other plans.

People asked a lot of questions, most often about his involvement in history and what the Winter Soldier had done. He didn’t mind, having moved past that part of his life and made it pretty far into his recovery. Some things were a little much, but he just didn’t answer those ones, and Sam taught him how to block people. Oftentimes Sam would reply to those comments, letting them know Bucky wasn’t comfortable answering those kinds of questions. Bucky answered a lot of questions...though most of them were fictitious stories. Nobody could tell him he was wrong, they weren’t there. Not all of his stories were falsified, so nobody really knew what was true and what wasn’t. He told adventures he never went on, changed details to make stories more entertaining, and even added some embarrassment to his friends that weren’t true. Even Sam had trouble deciphering the falsified stories from the real ones. Once, specifically after watching a tik tok Bucky had made detailing a false story about pre-serum Steve, Sam went up to Bucky. He was almost tricked into thinking it was real, but it sounded too good to be true. It was far too funny.

“Did he really do that?” Bucky paused before answering, breakout out into a fit of laughter. Sam wasn’t sure why he was laughing, it was a genuine question.

“No, idiot. I made it up, you should know I do this by now.”

The real fun came when people started asking Bucky about times he wasn’t even alive for. He was born in 1917, though doesn’t really remember much before the war. It was over 100 years ago, it wasn’t his fault. He invented this elaborate narrative, that Hydra had invented time travel and made him gather intel from times before. It was a rather complex story, one that felt almost too detailed to be false. Nobody could tell if he was serious or not. Bucky loved it, he had the whole world at his fingertips, and they all loved him.

Sam's tik tok was a whole different dynamic. He forced Bucky into all the couple challenges and trends, a few failing miserably and ending hilariously. Bucky acted as if he hated it, though, in reality, he found it adorable and endearing. Sam used it to document their lives, and answer questions, both about the world and their relationship. It was unexpected how many questions people had about their relationship. Some were highly inappropriate, but they answered them without answering, making jokes along the way. Really, it was just a lighthearted way to connect with people who loved them, and for them to share their love with the world. Most people were so very accepting and supportive, and the few who weren’t were just a laugh for the couple. Truly, it was perfect. They had their fair share of haters, especially people who were angry that Captain America was in a gay relationship, especially with an ex-Hydra assassin, but they brushed it off. For every one person who hated them, there were 10 more that loved them. And that was enough.

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buckyswinterbaby · 3 years

Text

Always By My Side — Chapter 1

Click here to read the Prologue.

Synopsis: The fates have spent millenniums correcting the daily mishaps that interfere with soulmates ever meeting. Will they find a way to bring together Bucky and Zara, two people separated by time and circumstance, just as they’ve done a thousand times before?

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Black!OFC Ziarah Heartwell

Warnings (will change with each chapter): flashbacks, PTSD, mentions of past sexual assault, angst, bits of fluff

Word Count: 3,791

Acknowledgement: I’ve created this AU alongside my best friend Taylor in roleplays, along with many of the plots and scenes that will be featured. I’m posting this with his expressed permission as we both continue to work on the story in our chat. Credit for its creation goes to both of us.

Please like, comment, and reblog (I love that shit). The divider was created by me, please credit me if you use it. The gifs are not mine. Click here to fill out the form to be added to my tag list!

Note: Here’s chapter one of my new series “Always By My Side”. It takes place in a soulmate AU where a bond is triggered when one or both halves experience a life threatening level of distress. The bond allows them to see imaginary versions of their soulmates to help support them while they wait to meet their other half. Just a warning, up until we reach the current time in the story, there will be significant time skips for plot progression’s sake. The time changes will always be labeled.

Addition: I said I’d tag you when I posted my WOC OFC story so here’s chapter one, @bucky-the-thigh-slayer !

[Bucharest, Romania -- 2016]

The Romanian streets were bustling with early morning energy as Bucky took the final steps outside of the clearly worn apartment complex that he had been calling home for sometime. He seemed unfazed by the sixteen year old girl practically jogging to keep up in step with his longer strides. He had grown rather accustomed to her presence and her commentary since she first appeared to him in 2014. It had been during his final brainwashing session with Hydra before they fell. He couldn’t help but view her as a banshee of sorts, harkening the end of what remained of his mental stability. He couldn’t fathom another reason as to why he would hallucinate an opinionated teenage girl.

Even so, he found comfort in their conversations and how at ease she seemed around him. Almost as if she had always been with him, a piece of himself that still saw the good that was left. Never addressing him with fear or apprehension, never as the monster and killer he was forced to become.

Her features were young and innocent, seemingly unscarred by life despite the bruises that graced her skin--which he was never sure why they existed. At first, he feared that she had been one of his countless victims who had returned to haunt him in her afterlife, though the theory became less likely to him as more time passed.

The defined coils of her hair were pushed up into a messy bun, edges laid smoothly to her forehead in defined loops. When she first started showing up, Bucky had attempted to make sense of the witty phrases and references that so frequently adorned her clothes but he had long since given up on ever understanding them. He had to admit that the shirt she wore that day, a middle finger painted with pink, yellow, and blue, was quite the fashion choice. Not that he could particularly judge with his similar pieces of clothing that were practically identical besides in color.

The pair made their way down the familiar stretch of pavement on their way to the outdoor market that Bucky had made a habit of visiting. He had found that a reliable schedule throughout his week helped him better grasp the passing of time, a fact that his companion had been informing him of for weeks before it finally seemed to click.

The girl’s nose clinked as they neared the fresh fish stand, just as it did every week. Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at her childish antics as they were so few and far between for someone who seemed quite mature despite her appearance.

“It smells like cat food,” she whined, making a clear act of breathing primarily through her mouth as she jogged to keep up. “How are you not gagging?”

“Not all of us have the luxury of being a figment of someone’s imagination, Zara. If I start gagging, I have a feeling a few people will start to notice.” The man gave her a knowing look. Drawing attention to himself was the exact opposite of what he wanted during his brief outings. “Besides, I can’t say I’ve smelt cat food or have any intention to. So I’ll just have to take your word for it.”

Zara rolled her eyes as the smell began to dissipate the further they moved past the stand, her trademark smile working its way onto her features. “Could’ve had me fooled, I thought that was your guilty pleasure. I can’t say I’ve ever intentionally gotten a whiff, but when I feed the outdoor cats at my house, it’s kinda unavoidable.” She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as if it was the most natural thing in the world for an imaginary person to have their own home and animals.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed as he narrowed his eyes down to her smaller form beside him. “You don’t have a cat because you aren’t even real,” he retorted. Somehow the idea that she could be real made her presence in his life even harder. The idea that she was just some girl he had passed by in the street or on a mission and his brain decided she’d make the ideal emotional support apparition.

“Who are you to declare that?”

“The creepy hundred year old man who hallucinates a sixteen year old girl, occasionally in her pajamas, for one.” His voice raised a bit louder than he intended, drawing the attention of a few nearby pedestrians. Bucky offered them an awkward smile before ducking back down under the bill of his hat and picking up his pace a bit. She couldn’t argue with his logic so she focused on keeping up until they reached their destination, the produce stand that had the best plums in the city, or so Bucky described.

Zara watched as he spoke Romanian with the merchant, only catching a few words she had learnt over the past few months from their conversations. She couldn’t help but smile at how effortlessly Bucky seemed to interact with the man and how it contrasted so starkly to how he acted when he first arrived in the city. Decades of next to no positive human interaction left the soldier awkward and clunky in his exchanges, often stumbling through questions and requests, or simply forgetting them altogether. It had taken a great deal of patience and metaphorical hand holding to build up his confidence and ease his anxiety on the matter.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to blend in, in fact he was almost too good at it at times. Over their conversations, she had managed to show him that yes, blending in made him go through the motions of life, which was better than nothing. Yet, the beauty of his life now and the freedom that came with it was that he no longer had to settle for simply surviving and he could instead use it as a chance to learn to live again. It started small, like convincing him to get a pillow and blanket for the mattress on the floor, to which they compromised with a sleeping bag. Soon came two pillows for the couch and a lone floor lamp that he shoved in the corner near his bed for the late nights when night terrors had him scribbling away in his journals. They were minor improvements, in truth, but the progress spoke volumes as Bucky worked on building a place that felt a bit more permanent than his last few hideouts.

Zara had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even registered that Bucky completed his purchase and had moved to stand at the edge of the sidewalk. She approached him curiously, watching the way he hesitantly analyzed the seemingly anxious newspaper peddler from across the street. It was very clear something was wrong from the way his demeanor had changed.

“Buchanan?” Her voice raised a bit at the end of his name, concern now replacing her curiosity as he began to make his way to the stand. He either didn’t hear her--which she found unlikely--or he simply opted to ignore her as he picked up the paper, ocean blue eyes scanning over the headline. The color seemed to drain from both of their faces as they took the accusation in, not having to speak to know what it meant.

Bucky would have to pick up his life, yet again, and run. Find a new country, new home, and start the process all over again. The ex-assassin hardly seemed surprised at the realization, as there is no rest for the wicked.

[Boston, Massachusetts -- 2016]

Zara made her way down the hallway to her bedroom, an imaginary version of Bucky trailing along behind her. She let her book bag drop to the floor once she entered the room, stepping out of her shoes before flopping down onto the soft, sunflower themed duvet of her bed. A look of weightlessness overtook her features as she let the events of the day settle in. Today she would graduate with a PhD in Biomedical Engineering from MIT, top of her class. It was the culmination of years of pouring herself over every textbook her parent’s provided, testing out and early graduations. At only sixteen, Zara would join the ranks of some of the youngest individuals to ever receive a doctoral degree. It truly seemed unreal to her.

Emerald eyes drifted to where Bucky sat at her desk, his arms crossed loosely in front of his chest.

“I wish you could be there tomorrow,” Zara commented, propping herself up on her elbows as her fingers pulled at the frayed threads on the yellow quilt folded at the end of her bed.

A smile teased the corner of Bucky’s lips as he leaned back against her swivel chair, long hair swaying as he tilted his head to the left to look at her. “I will be there, maybe not in person, but I’ll be there cheering right along with everyone else,’ he assured.

“It’s not the same and you know it, Buchanan.”

“I know. Just try to focus on the positives. Tomorrow is your day, you’ve more than earned it.”

Zara nodded, though her disappointment was still evident. On the average day, Bucky’s seemingly invisible presence to everyone else but her came in handy. As she was willing to bet her parents wouldn’t be too keen on the amount of time she spent alone with the grown man, let alone if they knew who he was. The public’s perception of James Buchanan Barnes, who she had quickly identified him as, was low to say the very least. Though it was days like this that she found herself wishing the most that he could truly exist in her life outside of her mind.

She could never quite pinpoint why she began hallucinating him two years prior. Though, the time before and after her fourteenth birthday had flown by in a post traumatic daze so it was even more difficult to analyze. The aftermath of four older boys assaulting her in her own bedroom left her wishing to repress that portion of her life altogether. Zara squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the ghost of their hands on her body. Grabbing, groping, pulling and tearing at clothes. She had hardly seen them since their attack but her mind was still trapped in the room with them.The feeling took her back to meeting Bucky that night, or more so the Winter Soldier, as he appeared at that time.

Upon entering her room, Zara failed to notice the masked man sitting silently in the corner of the room, illuminated only by the small lamp on her bedside stand. When she caught a glimpse of the figure, her body jumped to it’s fight response, just as it had an hour or so before. The young girl grabbed the closest thing she could find, a textbook on advanced chemistry, and held onto it tightly before turning to face the intruder.

“You need to leave,” she ordered, her voice wavering at the end of the demand. Her green eyes only met a pair of dark glasses securely strapped to his face. She couldn’t make out any facial features to identify him by, as all but his forehead and hair was covered.

It wasn’t just his silence that sent an unnerved shiver down her spine. It was his demeanor, cold and nearly unresponsive to her presence and defensive stance. Had his head not briefly turned her way when she started to speak, she’d question if he even heard her at all.

A large gun, likely a rifle from what she could tell, was resting across his lap. His hands weren’t actively gripping it, but something told her he could take aim in the time it took her to breathe her next breath. A variety of handguns and knives were also visible from the holsters adorning his thighs. If he had this many weapons visible, Zara could only imagine how many he had stashed under his tactical vest and heavy boots.

Her green eyes followed where she believed his gaze had drifted. He seemed laser focused on the strip of light just barely visible from under her door as a roar of laughter could be heard from just outside. His hand moved to rest just over the barrel of his gun. The young girl analyzed him for another moment before lowering the textbook, while still keeping it tightly in her hands.

“Will you at least tell me why you’re here?” There was a hint of desperation in her voice, one that vocalized all of the fear she had been trying to hide. She was met with more silence, which quickly became deafening to her. She was afraid to make a move to get his attention again, naturally unsure of how he would react. Yet, at the same time she couldn’t relax, not with him in her space.

After another few moments of no response, she allowed herself to consider the possibility that he wasn’t actually there. She had just been through something horribly traumatic and it was entirely possible that this was her brain's way of coping with the stress and fear. That it had conjured some masked figure to sit at her bedroom door and keep all the bad away.

She knew how best to test her theory, but she recognized the risk that came with it as she picked up a neon pink highlighter that she had been using earlier that night. She gripped it for a moment while weighing her options, throwing it across the room only seconds later. She didn’t put too much force behind it, hoping that if it gently came into contact, he’d be less likely to be angry. The consideration meant very little as the marker passed straight through the man and knocked against the wall before falling to the floor. She watched as it rolled across the floor and disappeared underneath her nearby dresser, a bittersweet feeling washing over her. On one hand, he wasn’t real and couldn’t hurt her. On the other, she was truly alone and definitely going crazy.

“This is fine,” Zara tried to reassure herself with very little luck.

She was pulled back from her thoughts as Bucky called her name for the third time, snapping her back to reality. Their eyes connected for a moment as she attempted to ground herself again, focusing on the small changes between how he was now versus then.

He had since lost the mask and goggles, she remembered him removing them a month or so after he first appeared. His current casual attire contrasted starkly with the hard kevlar of the tactical vest she first met him in. His features were more at ease now, no longer reflecting the fear that she could only compare to an animal in captivity. While she wasn’t fond of the comparison, following what she had learned of the real James Barnes, it wasn’t entirely far off.

As if the world was reading her mind, she faintly heard the voice of the local news anchor from the living room directly below her bedroom. Her features scrunched as she focused in on hearing the report, only catching snippets here and there. The words explosion and Sokovia Accords were most of what she could make out along with what she could’ve sworn was the suspect’s name, James Buchanan Barnes.

Before Zara could even question it further, she found herself racing down the main staircase of their suburban home, sock clad feet skidding to a halt on the polished dark oak flooring. Her eyes widened as she took in the security camera footage that was believed to place Bucky near the scene of the crime. Despite having no real proof, something deep within her gut screamed that it wasn’t true. She knew him, maybe not the real version, but he’d never do that.

Imaginary Bucky followed her into the living room a minute later, his pace slow and relaxed in comparison as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Being held responsible for the most recent atrocity was honestly just beginning to feel like the average Tuesday to him. More than anything, it was Zara’s reaction that took him the most by surprise. Her unwavering faith and loyalty was unexpected and as he believed, undeserved.

He had committed unspeakable acts over the years and this was likely far from the worst he was accused of. Sure, they had grown close in the two years since he first appeared and he imagined that made it easier for her to block out the rest of the stories, since she knew at least some version of the person in question.

Zara was good, in every sense of the word. Of course she had flaws, but who didn’t, especially at sixteen. But he saw the way that she looked at the world with love and curiosity despite the violence and violations she had experienced. It was a strength of character that he truly wished he could grow to embody. Bucky couldn’t help but find it funny that he was left looking up to a teenager who hadn’t even passed her driver’s test yet; but she honestly had more morals and heart than most of the adults he had met in his life. All of those facts being true is what made her belief in his innocence all the more confusing.

His eyes fell to her father, Gabriel, as he sat on the couch to take in the evening news. The man’s head shook in what seemed to be disappointment, or maybe it was anger, Bucky honestly couldn’t be sure anymore. They had never spoken, as Bucky’s intangible form made communication with anyone other than Zara impossible, but he knew Gabriel was a black and white kind of person. He couldn’t help but accept that to anyone who didn’t know him, the evidence would be damning.

“They need to just put him down while they have the chance,” Gabriel scoffed, speaking to no one in particular while switching the flatscreen off before they could finish the broadcast.

“He’s not a wild animal to be euthanized.” Zara’s expression twisted in disgust at her father’s casual nature. “He’s a human being. If he's guilty, and that’s a really big if with how blurry that security footage is, he deserves a trial just like anyone else!”

Gabe turned to look over the back of the couch, clearly displeased that she would defend the man. “I’m in no mood to debate with you, Ziarah.” He rose from his seat and dropped the remote onto the foot stool before leaving towards his study.

Zara watched him leave, her eye practically twitching with each step he took. She wanted to tell him he was wrong, to make him see that there were likely more sides to the story than they were seeing but she knew that it was useless. Her father rarely took her opinions or beliefs to heart on things that actually mattered to him, a topic like this would truly be a lost cause.

She looked up at Bucky as he shook his head lightly, letting her tension fade away as she accepted that it was pointless. “It’s okay, Zar,” Bucky assured, his small smile wiping away any lingering doubts she had. “There are more important battles to pick with him. This isn’t a hill worth dying on.”

Zara would’ve liked to argue that defending her friend was more than a worthy cause but she nodded nonetheless.

“How about we go find your mom. I bet she’s already working on the cake for your graduation and knowing you, you can convince her to let you lick the spoon.” His tone was playful as he coaxed her into motion, the promise of sweets and a friendly face luring her into the kitchen behind him.

Hanna was busy mixing away the different batters she would need for the next tier, the sweet aroma of baked goods filling the air. She hummed lightly as she worked, creating her own personal mix of her favorite 80’s songs together in a unique medley. Her green eyes moved to the doorway as she heard Zara walk in, a bright smile overtook her features as she set down her mixing bowl.

“There’s my little scholar,” she praised, moving around the kitchen island to take her daughter into her arms. Her warm embrace was a welcomed escape as Zara melted.

“Momma,” Zara grumbled as her mother placed a series of kisses on her forehead. “I thought you stopped doing that since I was a baby.” While Zara whined, deep down she always loved her mother’s open displays of affection. Not that she was willing to admit it.

“That’s the beauty of you always being my baby. You’re never too old for me to embarrass you. Just be grateful that I’ve opted to do it now instead of at your party.” The woman grinned away as she moved back to her work.

Zara honestly couldn’t argue with the logic as she found a seat on one of the tall bar stools. She quickly lost herself in the pleasant conversion with her mother, happily opting to clean the excess batter and frosting off of the bowls and mixing spoons like the helpful child she was. Imaginary Bucky sat quietly at the kitchen table, watching the women as they fell into the usual banter and discussion. After they finished her conversation she quickly grabbed a snack and made her way towards the door.

“I believe you’re forgetting something,” Hanna reminded, sending Zara a knowing look.

She huffed lightly before turning on her heels to grab her blood testing and insulin kit, waving it at her mother knowingly. She quickly turned back around and left the kitchen, making her way back upstairs.

Bucky didn’t hesitate to follow after her, stopping only when he saw Zara staring in her old room, which now housed her older brother Daniel. He could practically see the wheels turning in her mind as she ran over the events that more often than not had her scurrying past said room without acknowledging it. It was easier to just pretend it didn’t exist.

A few more moments passed before Zara pulled herself back from the darker parts of her mind, focusing in on everything else in her life that was good and worth celebrating. She had known pain and a time in her life where she often considered if it would’ve been easier to just fade away, but she had made it through to the other side. She had a lot going for her now and that was enough to push her feet forward again.

Chapter 2

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mariahthelioness29 · 4 years

Text

Differences

pairing: Sam x Bucky

words: 3.5k (how did I write this ?, I don’t know)

Warning; pinning, fluff, a smidge of smut, cursing (a little), alcohol consumption and 2 idiots in love, slow burn

A look of Sam and Bucky in New Orleans, A party, and maybe feelings being resolved. A conclusion (I guess) of No Plan and Going Back.

I was listening to Differences by Ginuwine and the tracks that follow on Youtube and I got inspired.

A special THANK YOU to @avintagekiss24 and @siancore. Your comments, suggestions are gold to me. I am so grateful.

@siancore @xbuchananbarnes @avintagekiss24 @helahades @euh-say-what-now @here-for-your-bullshit @rasberrylemon @blackmissfrizzle @sapphirescrolls @babiiface95 @27dis @captainsamwlsn

Face claim for new characters:

Nelsan Ellis- Lafayette

Rutina Wesley-Leyla

Miroslava Morales-Miriam

Mood board for the party:

The humidity and the temperature were unbearable. Today is his no-shirt- shorts on-day. It is so hot, that his insecurities about his scars are taking a day off.

It is so peaceful, he does not want to think about the mission they just had. Missions are always blocked from his mind. They are a heat in the moment thing. He thanks his mind for blocking them, otherwise he will be a nervous wreck.

This heat reminds him of Wakanda. That paradise on earth. He goes through his bag and takes a colorful notebook with patterns. His photo album.

Looking at the polaroid pictures of him in Wakanda. Shuri had some vintage items. She loves polaroid’s pictures so she gifted him a Polaroid camera.

One of him and Shuri in the lab.

One of him with the village kids and the goats.

G’cobisa, Tabo, Tinashe, Buhle, Khanyiswa, Kholiwe, M’tobheli, Anathi, Bonghani, Fikile Gugulethu. Those children are angels on Earth. Bucky ‘s not religious but whoever is up there, be it Bast or Jesus, he will ask them this:

“Please take care of those children, the people of Wakanda, allow them to be happy and let nothing bad happen to them”

Sam, I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel, I really love you and I want you so bad, he thought while remembering last night's dream. He bites his lip and sighs.

Last night dream and his early-morning wood were: Sam giving him a show, having the best sex ever all while he takes pictures of him with the polaroid. Him going down on Sam, while Sam records him.

“FUUUUCK !!” Sam groaned.

“Keep goin’ like that, you’re so good at that, look at me baby boy”, he said out of breath in between moans, grabbing his hair with one hand. He looks up to him, teary eyed. Sam was recording him.

He shakes those thoughts away with a chill on his spine. He does not want to go to eat with a tent on his pants so he focuses on the other pictures.

One of the rivers and one of Birnin Zana. The Royal Palace. The market. Him eating at the market. Him drinking a gallon of milk cause his mouth was on fire due to the hot sauce on his food. That hot sauce is a torture device.

One of him in all white fur, when he was in Jabari Tribe land as Shuri and T’challa’s bodyguard.

When the days were like this pure sun and barely wind, he just bathed in the river for hours. He stayed under the trees and the kids playing with his hair. He was the children's favorite pastime. Asked him all types of questions. Used him as a biology example, for the older children, when they needed to take their biology exams about genetics. As a doll, the village children and teenagers were always experimenting on his hair. They quickly realized that his hair could not withstand some of their hair-dos. He looks at the picture of him with Bantu knots and the other with braids in rows. He guffawed with tears in his eyes.

He remembers the Bantu knots fiasco. How hard the kid’s moms needed to detangle his hair with all types of combs and products, because the children literally caked his hair so that the knots stayed intact. He stayed with the knots because it was refreshing not having his hair loose during that heat wave until wash time arrived. It became a nightmare. Their moms taught them that Bucky’s hair is not apt for African hairstyles. The kids learned their lesson and did hairstyles that were suitable for his hair.

He was looking through the pictures until he saw his old pictures of him in the 40s. Those pictures were always weird to see . He fixated on those pictures till they became a little blurry. He closes the album

He wanted the confidence of James Buchanan Barnes. The Barnes that would steal girl’s and guy’s breath away. The same Barnes that rocked Steve’s world after they left that bar but he knew he and Steve could never be. He chose Peggy. He does not blame him in the slightest. It was the best way. What they were was a crime back then. He and Steve could’ve end up in a psych ward or with sodomy and indecency charges and dishonorably discharged from the military. He probably would’ve settled with a woman he loved too. Living satisfied but within a lie. Hiding half of himself. Would that have been a better life than the Hydra ordeal he went through? Who knows?

One thing he is sure of is that he will be proud and loud to be Sam’s man. He will live his truth. He got a second chance so he will not waste it. Anyone who does not like it, can get fucked.

He went out of his room and went to the dining room.

“Morning”, he said.

“Morning”, Sam and Sarah answered in unison.

Sam and Sarah were busy in the kitchen.

Bucky inhales the various smells coming from the kitchen, his mouth waters.

“How did you sleep?”, Sam asked

“Like a baby”, Bucky answered him with a smile.

Sam looked at him impressed and responded: “that’s wonderful, nightmares are appearing less”.

“Yeah, they are appearing less'',Bucky answered trying not to wander to last night’s dream.“Hey guys, can I help with preparing the food?”, Bucky asked. He always wants to be of service.

“Buck, no offence, but you are a white man raised in the Depression era, I don’t trust you with the kitchen but you can set the table though”, Sam answered. Bucky rolled his eyes at that.

Sarah was pressing her lips together to stifle a laugh.

He lifted his hands in surrender and answered: “Alright, I set the table”.

Sam pointed where the kitchenware and plates were. Bucky began to set the table.

Sarah looked at Sam with wide eyes and they both looked at Bucky up and down discreetly. Bucky was shirtless and with shorts. His shorts hang low. His v-line was showing. His abs all out and that vibranium arm shining a little.

Breakfast was a quiet thing, with Bucky’s story here and there about Depression era food and how they used to boil everything. Sam & Sarah gagged at the thought of boiling everything. Bucky laughed at them.

Bucky offered to wash the dishes. After washing the dishes, Bucky said he was going to meditate and do breathing exercises outside.

After they checked that Bucky was far enough that he could not hear their conversation.

Sarah exclaimed: “WHEW, CHILE!!”

“pipe the fuck down”, Sam whisper yelled. “He is a super soldier, he has enhanced hearing!”, Sam whispered with worry

“No wonder why you got the hots for him, shiiiiiiit if you don’t tap that ass, I will ‘cause HOT Damn,” Sarah answered in a lower voice. “He might be the first white man to get this work”.

Sam glared at her and frowned at her with a faux offence.

“Were you not with Ricardo, Ricardo was white?” Sam inquires

Sarah scoffs. “Boy Ricardo was Latino. I mean he white. But not WHITE, you know what I mean”.

Sam shoved her gently and said, “Not you, wanting my future man. Get your own shit why you riding mine”. They both snickered and had Cheshire cat grins.

“Hey, but seriously, when are you going to tell him how you feel?” Sarah asked softly, putting her hand on top of Sam’s.

Sam sucked in a breath and exhaled, dropping his head down. Sarah’s heart softens, looking at her brother.

“It is hard Sarah; I want to but what if he is repulsed by that. I know Steve and him used to be something. But there is the chance, he does not like Black guys for that. He is still a 40s guy, so I am weary.”, Sam answered. Sarah cocked her head and nodded in understanding.

“The guy was literally tortured and brainwashed for decades. He is now getting to live his second chance at a normal life. I don’t want to put more weight on him because I really, really like him a whole fucking lot.” Sam continued with a defeated tone.

“Sammy, wake your ass up, that man looks at your ugly ass mug like you hung the moon”, Sarah said with confidence. “He likes you too and a lot, just explore that feeling and let it be one step at the time”. Sarah offered. “You don’t have to marry his ass. Just give him support, like you are doing but extend that support more on the physical side of it. God knows when was the last time, you and that man were laid”. Sarah laughed and ran away from the kitchen before Sam pushed her.

Sam chuckled in disbelief at what Sarah said.

It could all be so simple, then why is it so difficult.

He has always had this predicament when it came to liking men. He is who he is. After years of hiding his sexuality in the military, it cost him to shake that state of being. He sighs and thinks of what getting with Bucky can mean to him as a man but also as Captain America.

Since the Accords fiasco, the Captain America mantle depends a whole lot about public perception.

He can hear Fox News, already. #handtheshieldback. That was a real hashtag and it could be revived this time by him being more openly Bi. Second, not only just being with a man, but THEE world’s deadliest ex-assassin and longest POW in US history. Bucky will get outed. Then Bucky will get dragged. Though Bucky has always said he doesn’t care about the views of the people, they can all get fucked (Bucky’s words). He saves lives and calls it a day.

As a man, he would be over the moon to have Bucky as his man, however he is still weary. Interracial relationships are hard. Imagine it now with a person from the Silent Generation, whew.

“Chile, I can hear the gears grinding from across the room”, Gideon disrupts his thoughts as he sits next to him on the couch.

“You thinking about the white boy, aren’t you?”, Gideon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“UGHHH STOP IT”, Sam exclaimed, putting his hand on his face. “Where he at?”, Sam asked, scared that Bucky might hear.

“Chill, he outside with Sarah, Miriam and the kids”, Gideon responded. “You know what you need? A nice party with the fam and friends, some BBQ, some booze and music”.

“Hell no, I am in no party mood”, Sam responded exasperated while laying on the couch.

“Well too late, Sarah, Miriam and I have already made the list and we are going to go shopping, food, snacks and booze for normal folks”, Gideon responded with a Cheshire grin. “Don’t worry, I got our homeboy covered, aged Absinthe, special brewed Moonshine, Asgardian mead, y’ know, some liquid courage so that he can finally tell you how he feels and put you out of your misery”, Gideon said while rubbing his hands together.

Sam rolled his eyes and kicked Gideon. Gideon laughed at that.

Gideon stood up from the couch and went to the table, where there was a box on top. “I’m serious, I already went to the Asgardian shop for some Asgardian unleaded and some booze”. Gideon shows him the box with fancy bottles filled with an Amber liquid, fluorescent green liquid, and the other with a clear liquid.

“Asgardian shop? Asgardians in Nola?”, Sam questioned.

“Yeah, he met Aaliyah, married her, came to live here, and put an Asgardian liquor store, ain’t that some shit”, Gideon responded. Sam's eyes blinked in surprise at knowing Aaliyah is married, not only that but with an Asgardian. Aaliyah was Gideon’s high school sweetheart and Gideon’s heaviest heartbreak when they split because they went to different colleges.

“See? You are thinking too hard. If ol’ girl is married with literally an alien and they fine what about you with the metal armed white boy, ya’ll gonna be okay, ai’ght”, Gideon pats Sam’s shoulder with force.

Sam smiles at his brother, “you’re right, if he will not tell me how he feels, I will.”

“That’s what the fuck I’m talkin ’bout, my brother ain’t no punk”.

It turns out that Gideon was right. What he needed was a party.

He was greeting everyone; he was the life of the party. He was dapping everyone, hugging everyone.

Sam was feeling himself with his white tank top and yellow open up shirt with white shorts. Cuban cigar on his lips and Hennessey on his hand. He took the cigar off his lips and began to sing out loud;” It’s getting’ hot in here (So hot) so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off”. He was dancing with a woman in a suggestive manner. The woman was grinding her ass against his crotch to the rhythm of the music. They were gyrating their hips in sync with each other and the music. Sam turned the woman around and talked to her ear. He was smiling. They look at each other briefly. Bucky lifts his drink up at him with a forced smile. Sam and Leyla decided to dance like this, since he saw Bucky getting cozy with Lafayette after playing domino, when Bucky won a couple of times. Needless to say, Sam’s mood sours after seeing that so he asks Leyla to dance with him to make Bucky jealous, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Bucky was wearing tight black jeans and a blue Henley, hair in a half up and half down hair do, feeling uneasy to say the least, nursing a shot of aged absinthe.

He was feeling a myriad of emotions. He did not know if he wanted to be the girl so he can cop a feel of Sam or be Sam so that he can cop a feel of a woman. Either way it has been so long since he felt someone’s skin against his. He thinks about having Sam that close in the privacy of his room. Moving into him like he is moving with that woman. There was a feeling eating him piece by piece. If it was a man, he'd definitely use his Winter Soldier face to scare him off. He realizes it is jealousy, he is jealous. He just stares at the tree next to them till it blurs along with the image of Sam and the woman he is dancing with. He feels his heart tight against his chest.

“You think is working?”, Sam whispered to Leyla, his high school friend

“Oh, yes, it is, the man a wreck, he was boring holes into us”, Leyla laughed and put her arms around his neck. “Believe me, you will have him in your hand, he needs to get a preview of what he is missing, otherwise he will never tell you how he feels.’ Leyla turned around and put her hands on his knees. They were about to give Bucky a heart attack with the next song.

Bucky got up and went to the table with all the liquor, wanting more absinthe.

He saw everybody rushed to the center of the makeshift dance space, as violins began to play. Bucky was confused and he concluded that the song must be quite popular.

Gideon was the DJ, he screamed: “Cash Money Records, taking over for the 99 and the 2000!!!”

Everyone either cheered or repeated that sentence in response, Bucky turned to see Sam and his eyes could not believe what he was seeing.

The woman was bent over wiggling her ass rapidly against Sam to the beat of the music. Sarah was doing the same to a guy.

He did not understand the dance or the music. He asks the Kimoyo beads to tell him what this music and this dancing are about. The beads started explaining what twerking was: “ twerking is a type of dance that came out of the bounce music scene of New Orleans. It originated in the 1980s. Individually-performed, chiefly but not exclusively by women, dancers move by throwing or thrusting their hips back or shaking their buttocks, often in a low squatting stance. Twerking is part of a larger set of characteristic moves that were unique to the New Orleans style of hip-hop known as "bounce". This dance move has roots in African culture and has spread to all scenes of hip-hop, current popular music and in Latin American music such as reggaetón. This is what you are seeing and hearing, Bucky”.

“God, I am such an old man”, he contemplated in defeat.

He could never be this jovial, he feels like he would hold Sam down. In order to drown his jealousy, he began to drink that Asgardian mead, mixed with the absinthe like it was water.

He was feeling a little better with the alcohol in his system. It is refreshing to have the buzz of alcohol in him for the first time in 70 years.

He started to sway to the rhythm of the music too not knowing how to dance but he likes the music. The violins and piano remind him a little of the music back then.

“I like this song”, “What is the name of the song and the genre?” he said to the beads.

“You don’t need to ask the beads”, he hears Sam’s voice.

Bucky stopped the bead’s explanation. Bucky chuckled at the sound of Sam’s voice and turned around.

“Who was I supposed to ask? You practically ditched me after dominos and spades” Bucky responded.

“Well, you could’ve asked your lil’ new friend Lafayette”. Where he at by the way?” Sam asked with a taunting tone looking around.

“You were pretty boo’d up with him”, Sam responded with a mean glint in his eyes.

Bucky smirked at him and said; “Ditch me too after I told him, I was interested in someone else”, looking at him while drinking the special brewed Moonshine.

“But turns out the person I like has someone to be “cozy “with, I guess.” Bucky said, while getting into Sam’s space and tracing his finger on Sam's shirt. “He even got a dance on him called ``twerk'', by the way I had to ask the beads what that was.”, Bucky responded a little hurt.

Sam’s breath hitched, feeling Bucky that close.

“So, I think, I need to mingle more, see you around Sam”, Bucky said while stepping out of Sam's space.

He needs to act, and fast.

Before Bucky could go, Sam grabbed Bucky’s forearm harshly and brought Bucky up to him. They look at each other with defiance for what seem ages. He then tilted his head and his lips were ghosting over Bucky.

You make the first move, I won’t, Bucky thought with Sam’s lips ghosting over his.

Sam gives him a bruising kiss.

Bucky was not prepared for that; he found support by putting his hands on his forearms. He matched Sam’s pace and brought Sam closer.

He feels so good, his lips feel so nice, Bucky thought while kissing Sam with force, all tongue.

After that kiss, they both needed to take a breath. He can see Sam not looking at him.

“Hey, let’s not”, Bucky said sternly while tilting Sam’s face up with delicacy. “If you want to regret something do it in the morning, not tonight, please”. Bucky whispered.

“I regret nothing”, Sam stated.

“That’s the spirit”, Bucky said, caressing Sam’s face, smiling and blushing.

“Ayee, this is one of my favorites, dance with me”, Sam said, taking Bucky’s hand in his and began walking with him to the dance space.

They saw Gideon and his wife, Miriam kissing and dancing to the song. Sarah and the guy she was twerking on earlier, also swayed with the song.

The song was pretty, light. They did not need to talk cause the song was doing all the talking.

“My whole life has changed

Since you came in, I knew back then

You were that special one

I'm so in love, so deep in love

You made my life complete

You are so sweet, no one competes

Glad you came into my life

You blind me with your love

With you I have no sight”, boomed through to speakers.

Sam and Bucky swayed to the rhythm, pressed against each other, Sam’s head resting against Bucky’s shoulder, both of their eyes closed savoring the moment.

They were surrounded by other couples dancing.

But no one else matters, only them exist.

Bucky’s eyes open for a moment. He saw Leyla and Lafayette lifting their glasses at him and smiling, nodding in support, then clicking their glasses together. He smiles at them back and closes his eyes continuing to savor the moment.

“They have a lot to go through if they want a relationship, but he will learn and go through it cause it is not only about him, it is about Sam and him.” Bucky contemplated. That does not matter right now, he feels fulfilled, at peace hugging Sam like this.

Sam is still weary about how they can bond. They are such different people with different experiences, but that does not matter right now. He feels loved and protected with the way Bucky’s warmth is enveloping him.

#sambucky #Differences #milliwritesnowiguess #conclusionmaybe?

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moonlit-imagines · 5 years

Text

Marvel Cinematic Universe Masterlist

(Updated Immediately)

Groups

Avengers (Team) Fics

Gif Imagines

Big Reveal - Defenders x teen!reader

Reader reveals themself as a teenager when meeting in the restaurant with the Defenders.

Drabbles + Oneshots

For the People, My People - Eternals x Asgardian!reader

Kingo calls in reader, his Asgardian friend, to deal with Deviants before he’s made aware of the Emergence. But Druig is able to make a new friend.

Preferences

HYDRA - 40s!gang x reader

Bucky, Howard, Peggy, Steve react to reader, their s/o, being taken by HYDRA.

Ajak

Headcanons

Human - Ajak x human!reader

Ajak falls in love with reader, a human.

Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian

Gif Imagines

Bath Time - Alexei Shostakov x reader

Alexei draws a romantic bath for reader, his s/o, after their stressful shifts at work.

Reunion Flirtation - Alexei Shostakov x reader

Alexei and reader finally reunite after twenty-something years, and their spark is still bright.

Tattoos - Alexei Shostakov x reader

Reader gives Alexei a new tattoo as he flirts with them.

Bruce Banner/Hulk

Bruce Banner Masterlist

Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Bucky Barnes Fics

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel

Carol Danvers Fics

Cassie Lang/Stature

Gif Imagines

Baby Sister - Cassie Lang x van Dyne!reader

Reader swears to be there for Cassie, their “step-sister,” after your family is no longer complete after the Snap.

Clint Barton/Hawkeye

Clint Barton Fics

Darcy Lewis

Gif Imagines

SWORD Duo - Darcy Lewis x Stark!reader

Darcy and reader, Tony Stark’s sibling, work together on the Westview case with SWORD.

Drabbles + Oneshots

Act 1 - Darcy Lewis/Wanda Maximoff x reader

Reader is in a love triangle between an old friend, Wanda, and a new one, Darcy, in a trying time on the SWORD base.

Druig

Druig Fics

Foggy Nelson

Gif Imagines

Accomplice - Foggy Nelson x reader

Reader awaits their lawyer as they refuse to speak without one present after being taken in as an accomplice to Spider-Man.

Frank Castle/Punisher

Gif Imagines

Pariah - Frank Castle x child!reader

Reader sees their father, Frank, for the first time after his imprisonment.

Gamora

Gamora Fics

Gilgamesh

Pie Recipe - Gilgamesh x reader

Gilgamesh gifts reader his secret pie recipe.

Hela Odinsdottir

Gif Imagines

Hel - Hela Odinsdottir x reader

Reader emerges from Hel with their partner, Hela.

Headcanons

Hela’s Kid - Hela Odinsdottir x child!reader

Reader, Hela’s child, emerges from Hel with her and begins to make their own decisions.

Helmut Zemo/Baron Zemo

Gif Imagines

Small Touches - Helmut Zemo x reader

Zemo and his s/o, reader, share small touches while reunited outside of prison.

Drabbles + Oneshots

Pent Up - Helmut Zemo x reader

Reader has just lost their loved ones while away on the Flag Smashers mission and Zemo empathizes with their situation, trying to comfort them.

Hope van Dyne/Wasp

Gif Imagines

Saved - Hope van Dyne x reader

Hope goes out of her way on a mission to save reader.

Headcanons

Child - Hope van Dyne x child!reader

Reader is Hope’s child and Scott acts as a step-father.

Hank’s Grandchild - Hope van Dyne/Scott Lang x child!reader

Reader is Hope and Scott’s child, who takes after Hank very noticeably.

Howard Stark

Gif Imagines

My Valentine - Howard Stark x reader

Reader celebrates Valentine’s Day with their husband, Howard.

Jane Foster

Headcanons

Child - Jane Foster x child!reader

Reader is Jane’s child and Thor acts as a step-father.

Jessica Jones

Gif Imagines

Pictures - Jessica Jones x reader

Jessica has to hide pictures of you, her ex, from prying eyes.

Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel

Gif Imagines

Mentoring - Kamala Khan x sibling!reader

Reader reveals their mutation to their sister, Kamala, after learning she has powers, too.

Kate Bishop/Hawkeye

Kate Bishop Fics

Kazi Kazimierczak/Kazi the Clown

Kazi Kazimierczak Fics

Kingo

Kingo Fics

Loki Laufeyson

Loki Laufeyson Fics

Makkari

Makkari Fics

Matt Murdock/Daredevil

Matt Murdock Fics

Maya Lopez/Echo

Gif Imagines

Challenger - Maya Lopez x reader

Maya lets reader drive her prized possession, the Dodge Challenger.

Jacket - Maya Lopez x reader

Reader steals their girlfriend, Maya’s, jacket.

Jealous - Maya Lopez x reader

Kazi flirts with reader and Maya gets jealous.

Jumped - Maya Lopez x reader

Maya confronts Kingpin after his men jumps reader, her s/o.

Headcanons

Dating - Maya Lopez x reader

Maya and reader are dating.

Michelle Jones/MJ

Michelle Jones Fics

Morgan Stark

Gif Imagines

Snowman - Morgan Stark x sibling!reader

Reader and their sister, Morgan, play in the snow together.

Trick or Treat - Morgan Stark x sibling!reader

Reader takes their sister, Morgan, trick or treating.

Nakia

Headcanons

Child - Nakia/T’Challa x child!reader

Reader is T’Challa and Nakia’s child.

Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow

Natasha Romanoff Fics

Ned Leeds

Headcanons

Halloween - Ned Leeds/Peter Parker x reader

Reader, Ned, and Peter celebrate Halloween together.

Nick Fury

Gif Imagines

Maria’s Funeral - Nick Fury x child!reader

Reader, Fury’s child, attends Maria’s funeral.

Headcanons

Fury’s Kid - Nick Fury x Fury!reader

Reader is the enhanced adopted child of Nick Fury.

Peggy Carter

Peggy Carter Fics

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Peter Parker Fics

Peter Quill/Star-Lord

Peter Quill Fics

Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver

Pietro Maximoff Fics

Ravonna Renslayer

Gif Imagines

Rebecca Tourminet - Ravonna Renslayer x reader

Reader, a TVA hunter, meets Ravonna from the Sacred Timeline are realizes they are married.

Rocket Raccoon

Gif Imagines

Prank - Rocket Raccoon x reader (platonic)

Rocket convinces reader to play a prank on the crew.

Roger Harrington

Gif Imagines

Bathroom Lunch - Roger Harrington x reader

Reader, a student, awkwardly runs into their teacher, Mr. Harrington, eating lunch in the school bathroom.

Sam Wilson/Falcon

Sam Wilson Fics

Scott Lang/Ant-Man

Scott Lang Fics

Shang-Chi/Shaun

Karaoke - Shang-Chi x reader

Shaun tries to convince his friend, reader, to sing karaoke with him.

Pre-Fight - Shang-Chi x reader

Reader and Shang-Chi cross paths in the locker room before their corresponding fights begin.

Sharon Carter/Agent 13

Gif Imagines

Cuffed - Sharon Carter x reader

Reader wakes up handcuffed to Sharon after a fight.

Ice Skating - Sharon Carter x reader

Sharon teaches reader how to ice skate.

Headcanons

Madripoor - Sharon Carter x reader

Reader, an ex-SHIELD agent, lives with Sharon in Madripoor.

Sprite

Gif Imagines

Reunification - Sprite x Eternal!reader (platonic)

Sprite and reader, best friends, finally reunite after centuries apart.

Drabbles + Oneshots

Only Human? - Sprite x Eternal!reader (platonic)

Reader and Sprite, their adoptive sister, stand off during the Emergence and Sprite debates whether or not she should accept Sersi’s offer.

Stephen Strange/Doctor Strange

Stephen Strange Fics

Steve Rogers/Captain America

Steve Rogers Fics

Sylvie Laufeydottir

Sylvie Laufeydottir Fics

T’Challa/Black Panther

Gif Imagines

Bath - T’Challa x reader

T’Challa draws a romantic bath for reader.

Headcanons

Child - T’Challa/Nakia x child!reader

Reader is T’Challa and Nakia’s child.

Thena

Thena Fics

Thor Odinson

Thor Odinson Fics

Tony Stark/Iron Man

Tony Stark Fics

Valkyrie

Gif Imagines

Roommates - Valkyrie x reader

Valkyrie and reader live together on Sakaar and are extremely comfortable with one another.

Under Her Wing - Valkyrie x reader

Valkyrie discovers reader on Sakkar and takes them under her wing.

Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch

Wanda Maximoff Fics

Yelena Belova/Black Widow

Yelena Belova Fics

#masterlist #mcu

1K notes · View notes

theonewiththefanfics · 6 years

Text

Starved (one-shot)

Synopsys: The Reader is a touchy-feely kind of a person and when she joins the Avengers nothing changes. Apart from the fact that Bucky Barnes is so touch starved, he craves for the soft feel of her skin against his and is over the moon she treats him the same way she treats everybody else. Yet one day she simply stops, and he doesn’t know why.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: SMUT, angst, fluuuuf

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex (wrap it up you guys), nothing else, as I can remember, Bucky feelin a bit down.

Word count: 3209

“Everyone, this is Y/N. Y/N this is everyone.” Bucky’s eyes snapped up. Behind Steve stood a young woman, eyes shining brightly as she scanned the faces of the Avengers. He’d known that there would be an addition to the team and the man was terrified. It was hard enough for him to communicate with people who he somewhat knew, but now a complete stranger would enter his world and the super soldier would have to get to know them. “Tony, but you already knew that,” the billionaire extended a hand and the girl grasped it, a smirk making its way onto her features. “The guy whose money I’ll be spending. Noice.” One by one the members of the team introduced themselves, easily striking up a conversation with Y/N. Bucky was the last one to go. “I’m Bucky,” his rough palm clasped around her smaller one and for a second it was like electricity shot through them. “Shit, sorry!” her hands were over her mouth as Bucky’s metal arm went limp. Because electricity had shot through his body and fried the wires in the appendage. The Winter Soldier looked at it, trying to move it, but it wouldn’t budge. “What just happened?” “I- uhh- umm. I sorta control electricity and everything like that, ya know, lightning and stuff… I- it wasn’t my intention, to, umm, do that… yeah.” She was flustered, blood making its way up her neck and to her cheeks, embarrassment evident on her hot-feeling face. But Bucky couldn’t care less about the arm. He couldn’t take his gaze away from the girl. How she fidgeted with a ring that sat snugly on her left pointer finger, how the Y/H/C glowed in the setting evening sun, but most importantly- he was entranced and very surprised with how at ease he felt with her. “So, I guess high fives are out of the question,” he smiled shyly at the girl, trying to alleviate the mood and take her off the edge. And it worked. She cracked a smirk of her own and shook her head, shoulders dropping in relief. “I’m more of a hugs kind of a person anyways.”

Bucky’s smile doubled. He’d never felt this free in front of a stranger, so when Tony clasped his palm onto the man’s shoulder he visibly flinched being brought out of the warm bubble. “I think we need to look at that arm of yours, Manchurian Candidate.” But the super soldier didn’t want to. He didn’t care that now it was a useless piece of metal hanging off from his left side, making him lean down quite heavily. Y/N had touched him without a second to spare, she hadn’t cared about who he had been, what the man had done, but most importantly she seemed to actually like him and was happy to meet the guy. They had even joked. The only thing Bucky wanted to do was keep talking to her and get to know their newest addition. “Yo, Barnes and Noble!” Tony hollered down the hall. “You two gramps coming?” Steve let out an exasperated sigh before smiling down at Y/N. “You gonna be okay?” As an answer, the woman gave him two thumbs up before being whisked away by a very excited Peter Parker, who was totally enamoured by her powers and wanted to know more. An hour later Bucky came back in the common room with a bashful smile on his face, eyes instantly scanning the area to find his new source of light. It was like two magnets pulled to one another as Y/N immediately turned her head to face the man, grinning widely while standing up. “Sorry again. About the arm,” she gestured the appendage and put both hands in her back pockets, rocking on the heels of her feet like a teenager who was talking to their crush. In an instant, Bucky’s heart melted at how genuine she was. “It’s fine,” he waved her off. “Was due for an upgrade anyway.” It was Steve’s slap on his best friend’s shoulders that took them out of the sweet moment. “Jesus, punk! You’ll give an old man heart attack.” The snort Y/N let out was the most adorable sound Bucky had ever heard and he swore if life continued to be so nice to him, he would think he was dead and in heaven. “Don’t try and pull the senior card on me. We’re practically the same age,” Steve shot Y/N a wink and the girl rolled her eyes. “Any particular reason you disturbed a lovely conversation I was having?” a well-groomed eyebrow rose up as she crossed her arms. “Actually, two things- every Friday there is a mandatory movie night- no excuses. And two- in two months you’ll have your first mission.” “Yay to the first one and tell me more to the second one,” Y/N jutted out an elbow for Cap and humouring her, he linked his through as they both skipped together to sit down in front of the TV.

*** Bucky was over the moon of having found someone who couldn’t care less about his past. Someone who knew what had happened to him, what he had done, yet nevertheless did not judge. There were no harsh words thrown his way from Y/N, she didn’t flinch whenever the super soldier somehow bumped against her with the metal arm, nor did she recoil when it wove around her midsection to pull her body more comfortably against his during the Friday hangouts. And so more and more he got comfortable with the girl, more and more he started to trust the woman. That was great especially when they got sent on the mission together. It was her first and one of Bucky’s numerous, but still, every time he went out on a battlefield, it felt like a brand new start. The gunshots were suddenly too loud as were the screams and yells, but he had to tune them out, had to do his duty. Yet with Y/N on the field, it seemed to be a lot easier than normal. He knew he had her back and she had his, no matter what. But then a particular episode had rushed to his mind; Bucky felt his body freeze at the thought of agony, at the thought of going back to HYDRA of being captured he almost passed out. The mission was brutal and horrific, and they came onto the jet completely exhausted, the ex-soldier even more so than usual. But Y/N came to the rescue. She instantly sat down in his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered sweet nothings into his ears, Bucky’s own arms clutching onto the girl like she was the last lifeline he had. That is how Steve first saw them, curled into one another when the plane landed back in the tower. The silver-armed man whispered a small ‘hi’ and rushed off to his own quarters to wash off the dread and grime from himself. Y/N was just about to do the same before the Captain pulled at her wrist, willing her to stop. “You should be a bit more careful around him.” Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “I’m sorry, what?” “He’s been through a lot and Bucky… he puts on a brave face, but his mind isn’t still fully healed. He’s been doing great in therapy, but touch is a different thing. I know, you’re an affectionate person, I get it, but maybe could you tone it down a bit with him? It brings back bad memories of his, sometimes when he goes to sleep if people aren’t careful around him, he gets night terrors. So, uh, yeah….” Y/N stood there, eyes wide with concern, but most of all embarrassment that she had been so misinformed. “I- I didn’t know, I’m sorry, Steve. I’ll, yeah, I’ll just keep my hands away.” He gave her a grateful smile and nodded. “He really likes you though. I haven’t seen him smile so much. But sometimes he needs to take things slow. Lord knows that jerk doesn’t realise what is good for him.” With a small smile, Y/N nodded and took in the Captain’s advice. Slowly her morning hugs with Bucky ceased to exist, instead, she just gave him a wave and put his breakfast in front of the man. Then she stopped cuddling up to the ex-assassin during their movie nights rather she sat down onto the ground between Peter, MJ and Ned who had become a core part of the Avenger’s friend group. And any time Y/N pulled away from the man, thinking she was helping him get better, Bucky grew worse and worse. His nightmares came back full swing, body covered a layer in cold sweat that made his skin stick uncomfortably to the sheets. Dark circles appeared under his eyes and they only became deeper as days passed without a single touch from Y/N. Bucky was desperate to know what he did wrong. He blamed himself; vicious thoughts told him he had scared her away, been too pushy, she had grown to hate him for what he’d done as the Winter Soldier, so as he did before- the Avenger retreated into himself. His smiles were fake at best and any time Y/N came into the room, he yearned to be closer, to have her fingers play with his, to melt in the feel of her combing through his hair or fall asleep listening to the steady beats of her heart. What was worse, another type of desire had started to plague Bucky- he had fallen in love with the Y/E/C eyed beauty wishing to be with her in every sense of the way whilst a sea of confusion and hurt stretched between them. It was a bad night for the man. His mind played horrible tricks on him, making Bucky relive the pain once more as he sat in the HYDRA chair, metal clasping around his head as wave after wave of pure torment rippled through his skin and nerves, taking away his identity and morphing him into the organization’s beloved puppet. Then suddenly a soft touch appeared on his left shoulder. He turned to look at who was there but saw nothing. And then- a sweet, sweet voice. The sound of an angel beckoning towards the light. So, he followed. With a gasp, Bucky woke up, sweat dripping down his body and dampening the already wet sheets. It was a struggle to open his eyes, but when he did, the man saw Y/N sitting by his side, a warm palm settled on his shoulder and worry written all across those beautiful features. “You’re alright,” the girl cooed, bringing Bucky’s breathing back to normal. “You’re safe. In the tower. With me.” He could only nod along, lungs still struggling to work, but he just focused on her, how she felt, how her chest rose and fell, how alive and real she was and that the bad things had only been a nightmare. “Thank you,” Bucky choked out. Y/N’s palm went to cradle his cheek and he leaned into the sensation. “Any time.” They stayed like that for a moment before her Y/E/C eyes went wide and she jumped up, recoiled from the man as if he was a poisonous snake. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I, fuck, I forgot.” Bucky just sat there, blue orbs trained on Y/N who had so carelessly touched him. So softly, so tenderly it set his skin ablaze. But not with the fire of pain, but something deeper. She had once again opened up a void in him that needed desperate filling. And Bucky knew only she could do it. “Don’t,” he grasped Y/N’s wrist as she tried to move away. “Please, don’t leave.” “I’m sorry, Buck, I real-“ “Why are you so afraid to touch me?” he whispered out. “What?” “Please,” his tone was pleading, desperate. “When we first met you didn’t care about my metal arm, nor the real one. What happened? Did- did I do something?” Y/N sighed, sitting down with a very visible wince of her face. Gently she laid his vibranium hand in her lap and intertwined their fingers. “After that mission, Steve and I talked. He told me that you don’t like it when people touch you without permission. That bad memories can resurface. I didn’t want to be the reason you get pushed back in your recovery because I’m a touchy-feely kind of a person.” Bucky threw his head back in frustration and held on tighter to Y/N’s palm. “You’re not setting me back. Not- not one bit. I’ve,” he huffed a breath before gathering the swirling thoughts and laying out everything that was on his heart. “I’ve never felt so safe around anyone as I do with you. And yes, that includes me remembering how you completely destroyed my arm with one touch of your palm, but… you make me feel validated, you make me feel like I have a reason to stay… a reason to keep on living. That maybe someday strangers won’t run to the other side of the street just because I’m walking there. That maybe I do deserve a second chance… redemption… maybe I do deserve to be loved...” His gaze was piercing as Y/N listened to every word that slipped past his mouth with bated breath. She was so overwhelmed by Bucky’s sincerity that she acted on impulse and leaned in to kiss him. It lasted only a second before the girl drew back, afraid to have overstepped a boundary, but the other Avenger wasn’t as inclined to let it end so easily. A cold palm settled on the nape of her neck and drew Y/N’s lips down back to his. He felt her fingers weave through his long hair and tug in places, eliciting a deep, guttural moan which she eagerly swallowed. “Where do you want me to touch?” her voice was soft, but it shook Bucky to his core like an earthquake as she spoke. “What?” Gently straddling his lap, Y/N leaned to brush her lips against his ears. “Where do you want me to touch you?” And all he could do was moan a desperate ‘everywhere’ before crashing his lips against hers in a passion filled kiss. Neither noticed when or how they lost their clothes, but it was her tender naked skin gliding across his when Bucky snapped out of the hypnotic trance. Her warm hand had grasped softly around his member and she laid little kisses to his hipbones. “Tell me what you want, Buck,” she whispered kissing up his shaft, feeling him twitch in her hand, but only a strangled moan came from his lips. “I need words, honey.” “Mouth,” he managed to get out while physically restraining himself from just thrusting his hips and making Y/N take him all in. “Please.” His breathing became more and more ragged with every second their eyes kept locked on one another. That was until it seemed like she had enough with the teasing and the girl leaned down swiping her tongue up the underside of his cock in a broad stroke. Bucky groaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his arms gave out and he flopped to the bed on his back. Every sensation was amplified to the tenths. It was like his nerves had gone haywire the same way his arm had, only this time with pleasure. His hips instinctively went up, pleading for Y/N to take more of him, to do more, to bring his release closer as it built up, clouding his mind and wiping out any coherent thought. “So close,” Bucky whimpered out ready to completely submit to the pleasure when Y/N drew back. The man jumped up in a sitting posting only to be met by the woman crawling onto his lap once more. “I want you now,” there was an animalistic note in her voice that Bucky simply couldn’t not obey. She was already so wet that simply sliding up and down his shaft covered him completely in her slick. Y/N dropped her head to the crook of his neck, sighing out before the breath got stuck in her throat when Bucky, gave a little snap of his hips and entered her completely. Once more the cerulean eyes rolled back, and he had to hold off from exploding. The girl’s mouth had already done wonders to him, brought him to the edge of heaven, but the feeling of being completely surrounded by Y/N in every sense of the word was a fantasy come true. “Move, Bucky. Please, move,” the super soldier felt her hot breath against his shoulder and so he did. A low moan reverberated through her chest and into his body. It was perfect, so perfect. They moved in sync and as much as he wanted to simply slam into the girl, to throw them in oblivion, Bucky took his time sliding in and out of her as she did with the kisses her lips scattered all across his body before moving back to his lips. He couldn’t get enough of her nor did he think he would ever be able to reach that satisfaction. “Bucky!” The way his name slipped from Y/N’s mouth, jaw hanging open spurred on his actions even more. Both his hands had settled on the woman’s hips, but now they slid to her back, grabbing two handfuls of her butt and rolling her more into him, making her clit rub against his pelvic bone. Bucky could feel her muscles start to contract, the inevitable rush of pleasure that would ripple through her was approaching and at that point, he completely forgot it had started out with her taking care of him. Now it was only Y/N and how he needed for her to break, wanted to see her shatter as he gave himself away to her. And she did. With a desperate whine, her orgasm finally crashed down onto the girl and pulled Bucky with it. He could faintly note Y/N's nails digging sharply into his taut back muscles, but all he saw was galaxies and starts and all he felt was love and safety. Y/N trembled in Bucky’s grasp, his arms pulling her much smaller body close to his, head hidden in the crook of his neck. He left exhausted kisses all from her collarbone to the shell of her ear and down to the top of her breast. The man was just about to pass out, the Avenger’s smaller frame safely by his side when she spoke. “If this is where me touching you leads… you can bet I’ll be attached to you like a leech.” A genuine laugh that stemmed deep from within, rumbling like thunder across the sky encased Y/N in its warm embrace. “If you hadn’t listened to Steve and his stupid advice this could’ve happened a lot sooner.” “Hey!” Y/N gently slapped his bicep. “I thought I was doing more harm than good. And he is your best friend, been through thick and thin with you. Why would I not trust him?” “He means well… but he’s wrong about what I need.” Y/E/C eyes finally met his once more. “And what is that.” “You.”

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A/N: I’ve been gone for a while and I don’t know when the uploading schedule will get consistent but thank you for bearing with me as it is. Uni is a lot and the assignments are coming like crazy, so I hope you can stick it out with me :)

Also, I saw Hamilton and it was fucking amazing!!!!!!!

P.S. tell me what you think :)

P.S.S. if you wanna be tagged in future works or have any requests, please drop a message :)

P.S.S.S. please don’t repost without credit :)

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ticklikeabomb · 5 years

Text

Birth in Reverse - Part 7

Pairing : Plus Size Reader (Y/N & twin sister Nadia) x Avengers ; Y/N x Bucky ; Nadia x Thor

Warnings : Language; Self-harm (kinda) (DO NOT READ THIS IF IT TRIGGERS YOU) ; PTSD ; Lost of Identity ; sadness

Word Count : 2.3K

Disclaimer : I do not own Marvel nor their concept/story nor their characters. This is only for entertainment purposes.

Nadia was making her way down to the quinjet, when a clear light shone at the end of one of the corners. Taking the gun out of the holster, she carefully walked to the door and slightly opened it. What she discovered made her body freeze on the spot and her blood boil ; an improvised medical room, with machines plugged at every square, patients laying on tables, lifeless. Every patient had something in common : they were twins. You and Nadia may have been the firsts but clearly not the lasts. Taking in the appearance of the patients/victims, her hands began to shake and rage inflaming her lungs. All of those people dead in vain. "Nadia?", a whisper came from the door but the only thing she was able to hear was the buzzing of the machines, the horrible memories overflowing her senses. She had one last mission to do for the day, destroy this hell. Letting go off her rage, she began punching the machines with her bare hands, screams burning her throat while tearing the place down. "Nadia, no. Stop", Steve's voice echoed through the room which fueled her rage even more. Bucky stopped his best friend from reaching out to you, knowing she/you needed this. The rage took a turn when the room began to burn. "Nadia, we need to leave", whispered Thor sweetly a few feet from where she stood. His calm voice and posture convinced her in leaving the building.

The way back to the compound was silent, tension floating over everyone's shoulders. They saw her sit at the far end of the jet, her lifeless gaze plastered in front of her, her bleeding hands calmly on her lap. For a stranger her posture and attitude could be referred as the calm after the storm but the Avengers knew better, each one of them having to deal with their own demons; she was broken, lost in the abyss of her own past, her own rage, knowing there would never be a going back, trapped in a body that wasn't hers, sharing a soul with the person she trusted the most before it all went to hell. The jet landed after what seemed to be hours. Each one of the Avengers gathered their belongings and began to exit the plane, all except Nadia. Sitting at the same position since the beginning of the flight. "Nadia? We're home", whispered Wanda. Her gaze left their initial direction to lock with the Scarlet Witch ones. "There's no such thing as home", were her words, said with so much pain and conviction before standing up and leaving a devastated Wanda behind. She could feel her pain and it was crushing her heart.

Numbness she made her way automatically to the gym to the punching bag. She needed to feel again, feel in order to let her know that she was real, that she's not some puppet being controlled by a false illusion. She was desperate to feel even if that feeling was pain. She began hitting the bag, the item representing her 'salvation'. Right, left, right left, up, down and the procedure all over again ; every hit harder until she couldn't feel her hands anymore. The only noises being heard in the room was her deep breaths. Silent tears who if they could would elevate in decibels sliding down her cheeks. A hand touched her shoulder and her she stopped, her whole body freezing in place. Turning around she saw Thor. His eyes tainted with pain, devastation but also hope. Hope that he could bring her back, make her feel alive again. No words were exchanged but they communicated through their eyes. Not taking it anymore she fell in a thud on his arms, crying out loud, while he hugged her tightly letting her know he was there to support her. Always. They stayed like that for a good amount of time : her not ready to let go and him ready follow her wish. "I'm sorry", he whispered on the crock of her neck. "For what?", she replied after a while. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. For what they made to you." Stepping back to look at him, she implored, "Please don't pity me."

A small smile crossed his features and he responded, "I've there is on thing that I don't feel about you is pity Lady Nadia. At the contrary, you're one of the strongest women who ever came across my path. Nothing would make me more happy than to call you my Queen someday." Goosebumps crossed her skin, an unknown feeling burning inside her, a good feeling. A promise. "Everything will be alright", commented Thor like he was able to read her mind. "You are the best thing that will happen to me. I know it since I saw you through Y/N's eyes", you confessed truthfully, making him smile brightly. He gently took one of your hands in his and lead you to the medical bay.

After Dr Cho patched her up, the mission briefing was on the platter. Not that she was looking forward to it but with Thor by her side she didn't feel so alone. He sat down next to her, Bucky's gaze scrutinizing the pair, his heart aching for Y/N. The team went over the mission with Fury, the man in charge before their eyes turned your way. "Care to explain Miss Y/N?", asked Fury. "I'm Nadia", she simply replied and he gasped a small 'Oh'. "Well Miss Nadia, what happened?" You explained him your side of the story and he nodded. "I admit it wasn't probably the best initiative. You're part of a team now and as a team there can't be loopholes. Communication is key. If there is no communication there is no team if there is no team, than chaos will take over", he explained. "It won't happen again", you told him. "I was informed of your potential reverse of… personality and the best we could do right now is if you have weekly meetings with a specialist. Someone to help you deal with what's going on between you and your sister." "I'm not seeing a shrink !", you counterattacked. "I'm just thinking that -", "I don't care what you think. I'm an ex-Hydra member. It was always kill or get killed, no emotions, no doubts allowed and certainly no asking for help. It's deal with it or die. So no, I'm not seeing a judgmental wannabe friend and talk about what I'm feeling about. I'm perfectly fine", Nadia's voice exclaimed firmly.

Fury nodded again and stood up but before leaving the room, he turned towards her "Your hands and your eyes say otherwise." She clenched her jaw in anger, knowing she was exposed, vulnerable. Standing up, she made her way out to her room in need for some alone time. Falling on her bed with a long sigh she reached out to Y/N. "You're extremely quiet. What no 'oh Nadia don't. 'Nadia you're the worst, you shouldn't mess with my body.'" But you didn't respond. "Hmm giving me the silent treatment, I see. Fine as you wish."

The next few days went the same : Nadia would only make an appearance during dinner times, rushing them because she knew they were slightly uncomfortable with her around, except for Thor and Wanda. She would also spent her time at the gym or on the roof, meditating. During those days she would try to talk to you but again no response and it was beginning to scare her off. It was Friday and she was arriving on the living room when the elevator dinged and Pepper got out of it. Both women tensed and Nadia made the choice to leave when Pepper called after her, "Wait. … Ehm Tony told me everything about you and your sister. How we're related." "Of course he did", replied Nadia. "Don't be mad at him. I saw that something was bothering him and threatened to break that hideous Iron Man poster that he keeps for years if he refused to tell me." You chuckled at her and she joined you, a small smile making it way on her face. "He must really like that poster then", you commented and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't get me started. Years back when he got it, he sold the art collection I spend weeks putting together and donated it. He called that awful poster 'Art'. Can you believe?", she exclaimed dramatically while widening her eyes. "I surely can", you laughed and so did Pepper. "Are you busy right now?", she asked and you tried to come up with an excuse but was cut by her, "I was just gonna leave some papers but after that I have to go on a shopping spree, look for a dress for a fundraiser. I could use some advice." "Oh, I don't think I'm the best choice for that task, I-" "I could really use some help and I have Tony's credit card", she wiggled her eyebrows. Even though she was still hesitant, Nadia finally agreed to come with her.

Happy dropped you on what seemed like one of New York's fancy streets with the luxury stores ornamenting it. You followed Pepper's lead without letting your guard down and both of you ended in one of the stores. As soon as you stepped inside, one of the saleswomen approached Pepper and asked her if she needed any help. You rolled your eyes and thought 'We just fucking entered'. "No thank you, I've got all the help in need right here", replied Pepper politely. The saleswoman nodded with a tight smile, looking at you up and down arrogantly, indicating you how you were out of place. You smirked and discreetly showed her one of your knives and her eyes widened, walking at the far end of the store as far as possible from you. Pepper looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you shrugged, "What?" Shaking her head, she motioned you to the dress section and began going through the dresses. While Pepper was searching for dresses, Nadia stood by her side, her hands in her pockets and laughter caught her attention. "Mom I think I just found it. What do you think?", joyfully exclaimed a teenager. "Oh honey it looks lovely. You gonna be the prettiest girl on prom night."

A pang of pain cursed through her heart, seeing a type of interaction she would never have. The type of life that was stolen from her and Y/N. Feeling the tears gather on her eyes, she excused herself and went outside to take some fresh air. "Come on man, it's not the time, not the place to show weakness Nadia", she repeated. "Are you ok?", asked Pepper worried. "Yeah I'm good, I'm good", her voice broke slightly. "Have you found something you like?", she asked her aunt. "Nah. Come on let's go check some other stores", she replied and grabbed Nadia's arm affectionally. The ex-Hydra member tensed for a second before relaxing on the unfamiliar gesture.

A second store later and she still hadn't found the pearl she was looking for. "A third is a lucky charm right?", exclaimed Pepper. You entered the third store and looked around. After a while, the saleswoman approached you. "Welcome. I'm Maria, if you need anything just let me know", she greeted both of you without pushing to far and you liked her vibe. "We're looking for some dresses for a fundraiser", said Pepper. "Alright I'm going to take a look and let you know if I find something appropriated. I just need your sizes." Pepper gave out her size and the woman looked at you. "Oh no I'm just moral support here", replied Nadia. "You should try something out too", commented Pepper. Nadia shook her head and exclaimed, "Nah besides I don't really think they have my size in here. And we're here for you not for me." The saleswoman quickly interfered with a smile, "Dear we have all the sizes you need. Here let me try and find something for you and if you don't like it it's ok. You can just try it for fun." Hesitant but pushed by Pepper, Nadia agreed and exclaimed "For fun then."

The woman quickly gathered some dresses for you both and send you to the changing rooms. 'This is ridiculous', thought the ex-assassin. "You ready? 1, 2, 3", said Pepper and you both got out of the rooms with dresses on. Pepper's was a creamy orange tone, reminding the color of the sunset while the twin's was purple. "It looks good on you but I tap strict", Nadia told her aunt sincerely. "I agree. You're looks amazing it's the color of your suit." You changed clothes and did the fashion show all over again but this time, she was wearing an emerald colored dress and Nadia's was dark red. "I think we have a lucky winner", exclaimed Pep happily. "I agree."

The moment came to pay and Pepper insisted for her to take the dress but Nadia refused. Not wanting to argue with her, Pep led it slide and you made your way outside. "Oh I forgot something in the changing room I'll be right back", she mentioned. A minute later she came out with her sunglasses in hand. "Shall we?" "We shall" and Happy drove you back to the compound. When you arrived Pepper walked towards Tony, who was in the living room with the others and greeted him. Nadia was making her way to her room when Pepper reached out to her and hugged her. "Thank you for today, it's was nice. We should do it more often." Trapped in her arms like a dear, Nadia slowly tapped on her back to 'reciprocate' the friendly gesture but feeling awkward. "Sure", she replied faintly. Maybe there was hope, maybe her life was just the beginning. Nadia tried to reach out to you but you still didn't reply and Nadia had a bad feeling creeping over her being.

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107thbarnes · 5 years

Text

no place like home

summary: you are also a super-soldier— brainwashed and a weapon, but what happens if memories keeps fading in and out, and everything slowly starts making sense? starting with the winter soldier— who you work with.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: hefty 3.2k words (i’m sorry)

a/n: i was thinking of make this into a couple of parts but i have no idea yet. feedback would be appreciated, and please enjoy!

—————

When HYDRA operated, they tested their serums on various men trying to find a perfect carrier for the perfect weapon in winning wars. Wars that was yet to be won, and wars that are yet to be. HYDRA was a secret— and you were too.

The last weapon, the last soldier that got their hands on.

Although you weren’t alone, certainly not the only one. Mission after mission— bodies after bodies, you walked beside another one. Never once holding a gaze after a great success for the organization, never speaking, not a word. Guards would lead you to a room together with the other Soldier, and even if you knew— deep down where your thoughts are still gathered, about your past life, the 40’s, the familiar faces, and the eyes of the familiar blues you once peeked through the other Soldier, that’s where you hold on to. But with every step on the way, closer to that freezing place, you want to pause.

Pause.

Rewind.

Start over.

Just like the records from your memories. The pauses after each giggly dances in the clubs filled with the youth of your time.

But you have to walk.

Walk.

Until you’re staring at the insides of the coldness, straps around your body, and you stare right at the lights above, relishing what it looks like, and when you’re in— you think about the memories, the colors, before you fully close your eyes and be awaken in time when they need you.

“Stop,” a familiar voice rang through the room, “We need them. Get them ready.”

A man in a creaseless suit stood in the middle, eyed his soldiers, and paced towards you.

As if on automatic, you straightened your back, hands behind, and looked forward.

Perfect Soldier.

His perfume filled your nostrils with a light musk, and you breathed in the scent. In response, the man smiled. He took a step back, and you felt his finger tap your temple in question. His eyes were filled with such secrets that even you can’t decipher. You followed his eyes and when he smirked, that’s when you stopped.

“I don’t think we need you,” his voice rang in your ears.

“Sir?”

“See,” he started, pacing towards the other Soldier beside you. “He is a perfect example of what you should be. Strong, ruthless, hard— yet what he is, you are the opposite.”

The other Soldier tensed his jaw and you didn’t even remember turning your head to look at him. He stood straighter, chest slowly going up and down. The man paced back to you, and he tapped your temple again.

“So, tell me, Soldier,” he questioned, crossing his arms. “Why are you different?”

You shivered.

It wasn’t cold in the room, not as cold as to where you were used to, but you shivered.

Your eyes locked on the other Soldier beside you— and maybe your eyes were fooling you, but you saw his blue eyes glance back at you and away.

Something about the blues.

“Answer?”

His voice was nothing with the way your mind paused.

Something about the blues. They were like the oceans— the waves coming up to your knees as it splashed cold, cold, water and you squirmed. They were like the jacket you used to always find on your shoulders whenever you went out to walk— hands would unbutton their jacket and give it to you with a smile. They reminded you of the past.

Laughing. Music. Dancing. Fairs. Fireworks.

None of what is where you are now.

“Answer!”

That caught you out of the whirlwind of tingles in your spine about the color blue.

“No, sir.”

A pause.

The man in front of you walked away— towards the door. He looked back once, and whispered something in the ears of another.

Soon, you were screaming. The straps were too tight, the cold was too cold, it was all too much. Your brain worked throughout the remaining seconds you have left. Your hands gripped the other Soldier’s forearm, fingernails leaving crescent marks as they forced you into the tube.

He looked down, and pried your fingers off of his arm. They never once met your eyes when you screamed. No emotion, nothing.

So, you stopped moving. Let them take care of you. Let them put you under. Let them freeze you again— and unfreeze you when they need you. But you knew, there was no certainty.

What good was a super-soldier, a weapon of HYDRA when they awakened?

Nothing. Maybe their serum was weak, maybe you needed more. They closed you off, and for what little second until the mist of freezing air came to seize you— his blues were the last thing you saw when he looked back to see his comrade fall into the deepest sleep she was afraid of.

—————

Bunch of scrawny ten year olds kids, they were.

The dress you were wearing got wet, splashes of dirty puddle water dawned your perfect dress, and you stomped your foot.

“Enough!”

“Who are you?” His face was red from jumping nonstop, and he crossed his arms mimicking you. “Our ma?”

“No!”

“Then don’t tell us what to do!”

So, they jumped again. Well, only one of them continuously did. The other boy stood beside you, looking down at his feet. You nudged him with your elbow, and you smiled. He smiled sheepishly back, and scratched the back of his head.

“Sorry about Buck—.”

“It’s not your fault,” you said, wiping down your dress. “He’s a little punk isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Who are you calling a punk?”

“Nobody,” you answered the sweaty boy standing in front. You flicked his head, smiling down at the scrawny, little kids. “But you are little.”

“I’m older than you,” he stated, putting his hands on his hips.

With that, you flicked your hair away and smiled sweetly. You were taller than them, just a little bit, and you always use that against them. As a kid, you don’t know why you hang out with these boys. Your ma always gushed you to play dolls with your other neighbors but you would rather make a fuss about these boys and how they are smaller than you. They were more funny. More adventurous, and that was what you wanted. It sung in your blood.

—————

When you were 17, a boy made you cry when he kissed you farewell.

It was more of like a two month long relationship, but you cried nevertheless. Cried out empty— body weak, red eyes, and sniffling nose. The bed was your friend for a week, pillows were your enemy as you punched through them repeatedly, imagining the face of the boy who just broke your heart. The door was locked always, so however was disturbing your moment of tears and pain— deserves a scream at the top of your lungs.

“Don’t need to scream, all right!”

“Go away!”

“Your ma said we could go upstairs—.”

“I don’t want you here!”

They paused and all you could hear were hushed voices and some thumping on the ground until somebody knocked softly on the door. They called out your name, and knocked again when you didn’t reply.

“Hey, let’s grab some hotdogs and milkshakes, yeah?”

That sounded completely fine, and the rumbles of your stomach answered for you. The diner around the block were your absolute favourite and these stupid friends of yours were wise to ask you out. They were your weakness.

“Fine.”

With that, you opened the door, deep in regret when both of the boys snickered in front of you.

“Thanks for laughing at me.”

“No problem,” one of them answered. His hair was covered in gel, and you tried to ruffle it up to seek revenge for his laugh. He caught your wrist in protest and looked dead right at you. “You better regret doing that.”

“I don’t, really,” you said, breathing deeply as you pulled a small smile.

“We made you smile,” the one of them said. He was smaller— probably the same height as you, and you leaned on his shoulder in response. He smiled big as the other pushed the two of you.

“Come on,” the bigger of them said, holding you both by the shoulders, ushering you out of the door.

The diner was packed filled with other teenagers, and you immediately backed out of the door when you saw the ex-boyfriend dining with another girl. Oh, he’s definitely using the charms he used on you on her. Still, it made you see red but then again, you were hurt. That should’ve been you— sipping on the same milkshake, holding onto his forearm, and his hand twisting the ends of your hair. Your eyes stung with pain, and you were crying silently outside the door.

“Hey,” a familiar voice whispered, and you turned around. His blue shined in concern, and he gingerly offered you a napkin to wipe the snot out of your nose. He smiled softly, and nodded towards the guy. “Want me to punch that punk?”

You shook your head. “Don’t always look for trouble.”

“I’m just protecting…” he stopped for a few seconds, and he continued when he met your eyes. “Just protecting you.”

You blinked a couple of times, surreal that he just said that, considering the amount of hearts he stumbled and broke. But it pulled on your heart strings, and you looked at him with teary eyes. “That’s the nicest thing you have ever said to me.”

He blinked a couple of times as well, catching your eyes. His jaw was slightly ajar, but he closed in a blink. Then he was back to that mischievous grin, and you rolled your eyes back. It was too good to be true. “Don’t get used to it.”

—————

“How come you could join the military?”

You turned your head, eyeing your friend who stood a couple of inches smaller than you. You laid your head on his shoulder, and he let you stay there for a minute, before he spoke again. “I couldn’t even join it.”

“She joined,” another voice came behind echoed as the light from the poster dimmed, and both of you turned around to meet the smiling fool. “Because she is stupid, ain’t that right?”

You flicked his hat, watching it fall to the ground. Tension was evident in the air, as he bent down to pick it up, never leaving his eyes off of you. Your other friend hurried away, getting lost in the sea of men and women chatting up and dancing the night away in loud banter.

“Don’t call me stupid.”

“Reckless?”

You pushed a finger onto his chest, and he smirked as he turned his head to the side. His face makes you see red, and you pushed him even more. “If it’s so reckless of me to join, then why did you?”

He stopped for a moment, before he pushed away your hand from his chest. He patted his hat clean and placed it firmly on his head. “You know that’s not what I meant—.”

“It’s clearly what you meant,” you hushed angrily, pushing him more. “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean that I can’t join.”

“You’re taking this the wrong wa—.”

“Then how should I take it, huh?”

He pulled down your hand from his chest, and held it close with both of his hands. “If you let me finish, you’ll know,” he whispered, letting go of your hand slowly.

He paused for a moment, tilting his head side by side in thought. His hand clasped around yours when he spoke in a soft voice. His blue eyes shined brightly against the lights in the room, and you steady your breath as he placed your hand against his chest. His heartbeat was the rhythm you followed to relax.

“You don’t deserve to be caught in the middle of the war,” he whispered. His voice fleeted right through your ears, and you melted right there. You can feel his heart beat faster, when he continued. “I know I can never change your mind because you’re the most stubborn person I have ever met, but, please—.”

“You’ll get to see me again after this, if that’s what you’re so worried about.” You matched your voice with the same softness he has given you, that you didn’t even realize he was inching you back against the wall until your eyes met with the level of his chin, and your eyes ventured down as you smiled. “You need to work on your ties.”

He ignored your last statement, and he let go of your hand, as he pocketed his inside his trousers. For a moment, you thought of the warmth of his large hands wrapped around yours— and you’d be lying if you say that you didn’t miss the way it feels so good. He looked down at you, meeting your eyes and he laid a sad, small smile on his face.

“What if I don’t get to see you back?”

“That’s absurd— I’m not going to die.”

“No,” he insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What if?”

At this time, he was breathing heavily and his mouth was slightly open that you could his warm breath on the crown of your head. His chest relaxed, yet his jaw was still clenched. You can feel he got his hands balled up in his pockets, and you breathed through your nose loudly.

It was a thought that consume the earlier nights. It was scary— the what ifs. When you passed, all he ever mentioned to you were what ifs. It was consuming you right through the bone and flesh, but this was the only time you took it seriously. When he said it, your world stopped and your ears listened. When you looked up, all you could see were the color blue. It calmed you down, protected you, listened to you, and gave you something that you were so afraid of.

Were you in love?

Are you in love?

You wanted to stomp on that thought so badly— this wasn’t the right time to think about it. He’s got some ladies waiting for him and you’ve got another friend to console because both of you were leaving him behind. Maybe you should stay? But for what? To wait for him to come back and whisper in his ears of what you feel? Isn’t too juvenile for the both of you?

But now he was coming in closer. He bent down slowly, tilting as his nose hit yours— but his blues never lost the colors of your eyes. He backed away an inch, but your hand has got a mind of his eyes, and it inched to steady yourself on his chest. He smiled— blue eyes shining too brightly, until he placed his hand on your neck, you watched him lick his lips, and his eyes flicker something so pure, that you forgot to breathe— then he.

“Guys! It’s starting!”

That familiar voice in both of your ears rang in your minds, and you scrambled against the wall as you pushed his chest out of the way. He made a noise of annoyance— loud enough for you to hear. He flattened his top with his hands, and you looked back at him.

He tucked his hands in his pockets again, as he looked beyond you then back at you. “Don’t forget what I said.”

With this, you started to walk away still facing him with a bright smile, grateful for that diversion of else you would’ve lose your senses to the way his thumb was circling on your skin, or the way his nose bumped into yours— or worst of all, if you lost yourself on those eyes.

“We’ll see when we get there.”

—————

Something was moving.

Nudging you.

It was cold— and there was an occasional whirring as it nudged you again.

Your eyes fluttered open to see the other Soldier’s eyes— and it hit you like a tidal wave of how close he was. You could almost see the flecks on his blue eyes bright and clear as he straightened his back once you sat up awake on the bed.

“Get up and be the lookout.”

You followed his orders and stood up quickly. His voice was as dead as the environment outside as everything was covered in snow. It was dark, and the wind was howling. You took his seat by the window, eyeing him as he took out an antenna phone, and angrily putting it back since all it echoed was static. He limped his way around the room, ruffling through the stuff on the floor, and he grimaced when he tried to lift off of the ground. Even with all the strength and healing regeneration, it was still painful for some injuries. He’s got an open wound and it needed stitches quickly.

He felt you watching, and he pointed at the window. “Eyes on it.”

Eyes on it, you were. There was nothing to look at except for the passing cars and then you were met with blind darkness. Even the street lamps were starting to flicker. You heard him groan, and this time you twisted your body to take a better look at him.

“You need stitches.”

“Eyes on the window.”

You ignored him. “I can stitch you up.”

“No.”

“Soldat,” you emphasized, catching his look. “I can help you.”

With his piercing look, he shut you right up. Sulking, you fixed right up against the window and eyes him again, pushing the chair towards him. He took it with a question and a raised brow. You were looking outside, but your ears perked up when you heard uneven footsteps on the hardwood and the loud thump of the first aid kit on the floor. You didn’t bother asking him anymore as he inclined his head to look out while you rolled his shirt up to his shoulder. It was a long gash, but you stitched him up nonetheless. He hitched a breath a couple of times, but he calmed down and felt his arm relax as you gauzed him up.

For some reason, he stayed there— looking outside even when he was done. It was quiet in the room, and it was deafening.

Something about the blues.

You could never get over them— so you found yourself spewing trouble and bullshit in the room.

“Have you thought about your past?”

With this, he stood up quickly. He knew what you just did. It was a violation. It was hearsay. It was bullshit. As a super-soldier like him, these words shouldn’t even correlate with people like you, as if they weren’t brainwashing you enough. But it just came out. No thoughts about it, just straight up a question. His eyes widened as you repeated the question, then he rambled to get the phone, and waited for good static until he spoke in fluent Russian of what just happened.

It ended up with you screaming at the top of your lungs, feeling the familiar straps around your body— and the cold, cold, tube. What good does a super-soldier like you if you can remember? You were a weapon, and you know it. Brainwashed, controlled, and with every command is what you should follow.

Then it became to cold for you— and the his blue eyes were the only thing that could ever amount to the irrational cold you felt once they closed and kept you frozen.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x you #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #bucky barnes one shot #107thbarnes

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