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zoyaofthegardvn · 1 year

Note

Hey, doll :)

I know you are currently drowning in requests, but I wanted to ask if I could request an angsty mor x reader. However, if someone has already asked something like that just disregard this one xx

ILY 🌺

New Friends, Old Insecurities (1)

A/N: Yes yes yes! I love writing angst to fluff stuff! Thanks so much for the request, anon! :) This will be divided into two parts!

CW: None! But this is pure angst, so the fluff isn't til I write a part 2!

Update: Part 2 is now posted! Read it here!

---

You sighed as you watched Emerie and Mor spar, taking a seat off to the side so that you could finish up the work you'd brought along with you. You decided to come today because you've been missing your mate, but it's clear that you won't be receiving any of her attention today like you so desperately craved.

Ever since Nesta had become best friends with Gwyn and Emerie, they'd become close to everyone in the Night Court. In fact, you'd grown especially fond of Gwyn, and now considered her one of your dearest friends. Emerie and Mor had clicked, and their friendship had taken off fast. You were happy that Mor was making more friends, especially female friends as she'd spent so long just with Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel. But, you were, in fact, jealous.

You tried not to be. Really. But it was a deep insecurity of yours, that Mor would find someone better and leave you. She was just so bold, so confident, so commanding and brave. And so was Emerie. You were reserved, and quiet. You weren't a warrior like Mor, sticking to more intellectual pursuits. You didn't like to party, and you never had any interest in learning a sword. You had always wondered if Mor wished she'd been mated to anyone but you, but for the most part, you were able to look past the insecurities, as your relationship with her was loving and perfect.

But she was spending so much time with Emerie. They'd train together even when the Valkyries weren't, they'd go to Emerie's shop and talk weapons for hours, they'd patrol the camps as a pair and often sat together to talk about anything and everything. It'd been weeks of this, and though it was you that Mor came home to every night, you that she made love to, you that she said she loved, you genuinely had your doubts.

You were interrupted from your thoughts when someone came to stand in front of you. Looking up, you're greeted with Gwyn's kind smile.

"Hey," she says, hand over her eyes to shield from the sun.

"Hey," you respond, but your heart isn't in it.

Gwyn looks back over her shoulder, to where Mor and Emerie are laughing as they take a water break, and she looks back to you with concern in her eyes.

"S'fine," you shrug, a bit embarrassed that others had began to notice your mate's affections for another female.

Gwyn shakes her head. "It's not," she says, reaching her hand out to grab your own. She pulls you up and places a hand on your shoulder. "I'm done for the day, how about we go into town before dinner? We could go to the bookstore?"

You glance behind her, where Mor hasn't even turned to look at you or made her way over to say hello, and then you nod. "Yes, I think I'd quite like that."

---

"She adores you, Y/N, I think she's just forgotten how it's like to make a new, true friend, you know?" Gwyn says, taking a sip from the hot tea she'd ordered from the bookstore cafe.

Your eyes roam the shelves in the Fantasy section, your iced coffee clutched in your hand. "I never see her anymore, and when I do, it's when we're getting ready for bed, or she's about to leave in the morning, or I see her when we're all in a group. And even then, it's like she's not even with me."

Gwyn hums, then grabs a book with an emerald green cover, a dragon illustrated on the front. She flips it over to skim the back. "It is pretty shitty, I'm not denying that. But I don't believe it's because she loves you any less than she always has."

You shrug. "I don't know what to do anymore. The only time it even feels like we're in a relationship is when she wants to have sex."

Gwyn's head snaps up. "That's just wrong! I'm sorry she's making you feel this way. You deserve better. Have you tried talking to her about it?"

You shake your head, and try to stop the tears welling in your eyes. "No, I haven't. I don't know how."

Gwyn reaches out and rubs your arm gently. "You're one of my best friends, Y/N, we'll figure it out together."

You smile at her, a pure, genuine smile, something you hadn't done in weeks. "Thank you, Gwyn."

She returns the affection, then hands you the book she'd pulled. "This sounds like something you'd enjoy."

---

You and Gwyn spent hours at the bookstore, browsing and reading. Gwyn had been right, the book she'd found was exactly what you enjoyed, and you two read your new books, hers being an obscene romance title, for a while at an outdoor table, sipping your drinks and sharing a few slices of lemon cake.

You two also discussed how you'd confront Mor, and when. It was decided that you'd ask her about it tonight, before bed. You'd remain calm, and you'd try not to cry. You would avoid an argument, and you'd explain how you'd feel. It was a good plan. A solid one, that you hoped would work.

You two decided to leave as the sun began to set, knowing you'd be late for dinner at this rate, but you wouldn't miss it entirely.

You could hear your friends laughing and drinking as you arrived back at the house, and as you and Gwyn slipped your shoes off, you heard Cassian call, "There they are!" before him and Azriel came into the hallway.

Azriel smiled at Gwyn, bending to plant a sweet kiss to her lips before pulling her along to the dining room, where a full meal awaited her. You grinned at them, beyond excited that they'd finally accepted their mating bond.

Cassian clapped you on the back, smelling strongly of wine, and pushed you into the room as well. Instantly, your eyes fell to Mor. She was sat next to Emerie, who was sat in the seat you usually occupied. Instantly, your smile vanished. Gwyn met your gaze and rolled her eyes, shrugging, as if to say, "Screw them."

Your lower lip trembled at the small betrayal, but you swore to yourself that you weren't going to cry. Rather than take a seat at the table, you made your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of wine.

As you poured, you heard the door swing open behind you, but you didn't care enough to look.

"Where've you been today?" Mor asks, curiosity lacing her tone. Usually, you told Mor about your every move. Mostly because she worried when she didn't know where you were, and you liked the idea of someone caring about what you were doing.

You still didn't turn around, filling your glass nearly to the brim before setting the bottle down and taking a deep sip.

"I went to town," is your curt reply, cold and to the point.

You hear her take a few more steps towards you, but before she can reach you, you spin away from her and head towards the door, straight back to the dining room where you take an empty seat beside Gwyn, across the table and on the other end from where Mor and Emerie have taken seats.

Mor enters shortly after, looking confused, and she stares at you a long while when she notices that you'd sat as far from her as possible. You refuse to make eye contact, instead, you focus on making yourself a plate of the dinner Feyre and Elain had made. It smelled divine, and you were starved.

Conversation remained light, and mostly, you could tune out Emerie and Mor's voices, whatever conversation they were having. Gwyn, bless her, spoke to you nearly the entire time. She was a great friend, and a welcomed distraction.

When everyone began to clear their plates and put stuff away, you instantly went to the door after cleaning your mess. Usually, you and Mor would hang out for a while, then make your way home together. Without fail, nighttime was reserved for one another.

You waited by the door for a while, growing impatient and nearly ready to just leave Mor behind and wait for her at home, when she came around the corner.

"Hey," she says, furrowing her eyebrows at the sight of you all ready to leave.

"Are you ready?" Is how you respond, again, cold and to the point.

Mor rolls her eyes, confused and a bit agitated. "Well, actually, Emerie wants me to come to the shop tonight and work with her, I just wanted to let you know."

Cold dread washes over your body, your heart dropping. Once again, Mor is choosing Emerie over you, and once again, you're convinced that she wishes Emerie was her mate and not you.

"Are you serious right now?" You whisper, voice angry and brittle.

Mor says nothing, just looks at you with a questioning glare.

You laugh, humorless and bitter. You throw your hands up. "Well, Mor, you just have the most fun, and how about you stay there tonight, since you're so fond of her, hmm?"

So much for not starting an argument.

Mor recoils. "Excuse me?" she grits out, beyond offended.

"You heard me. Stay with her tonight, let's stop pretending like you don't prefer her to me," you spit, your voiced hushed as you're aware of all of your friends just in the next room over.

Mor shakes her head. "You cannot be serious right now," she glares at you like you've gone mad. "So, you're jealous?" she asks, and you don't respond. She scoffs, "I thought you were better than that."

And that, to you, is the nail in the coffin. You can't help the tears that well and spill over your cheeks. You look at her, you shake your head in disappointment, then you pull open the front door and leave.

---

You made it back home in record time, in case Mor did decide to come home, you didn't really want to face her. You slam the front door shut behind you, and in the privacy of your living room, you let loose a sob.

For weeks she'd been neglecting you, ditching you, spending more time with Emerie than her own mate. Her wife. She'd started giving the time of her day always dedicated to you, to someone else. She was never home. She hardly acknowledged whenever you were in the same place as her, and when she was home, it was to have sex, then sleep, then repeat. It hurt. And you couldn't take it anymore. You could feel the bond pulled taut between the two of you, and you closed yourself off from it entirely so that you could try to forget it even existed.

You're in your bedroom, still crying, when you hear the front door open. Mor.

She calls your name, sounding beyond frustrated. When she can't find you anywhere, she goes upstairs, and throws open the bedroom door.

When she barges in, her eyes land on your form, sat on the bed, head in your hands.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?"

Your head shoots up. "Me? What's gotten into me? I'm not the one falling in love with another woman!" Your voice is shaky, and your hands tremble as you take Mor in, her hands on her hips as she paces the room.

"Are you nuts? Emerie is my friend! I cannot believe you're acting like this out of jealousy!" She shakes her head like she's disappointed, like she's scolding a child for bad behavior.

You stand up, but you don't approach her. "And what about your mate?!" you roar, pointing a finger at her. "What about the female you married, the female you never fucking see anymore? Huh?"

Mor looks taken aback by your sudden shift from sadness to rage. "We've been bus-"

"DON'T! Don't give me that shit!" You bring a hand up to wipe furiously at the tears on your cheeks. "You're the one that's been busy with another female, I've been here, the whole fucking time, waiting for my mate to act like she's still in love with me!"

Mor flinches like she's been struck. "You can't be serious! Of course I'm in love with you Y/N, and I have seen you, every night I come home an-"

"And you fuck me then go to sleep, so you can wake up and see Emerie again." You spit, knowing it's a low blow, but that it's also true, and a cruel part of you wants to hurt her the way she's been hurting you.

Mor pales, her jaw clenches and her hands begin to sake with barely controlled anger. "We have never, ever, just fucked, and you know that. How dare you? How dare you act like every time we're together it doesn't mean something more than that?" Her voice cracks at the end, and it surprises you, that she'd start crying over this too.

"Do you think about her when we have sex?" You know you're just antagonizing her, but truly, you're convinced that you're not the female she's in love with anymore.

Mor's eyes widen, and she snarls before marching towards you. "Don't you ever fucking say something like that again! I have never not shown you that I'm in love with you!" She's in your face, and her angry tears are spilling from her eyes.

You push past her and make your way to the closet door, needing to put distance between the two of you.

"No, you've just started spending your entire days and evenings with her, only coming home to have sex with me then leave before I wake up. You've only been dedicating your time spent with me to her and her workshop, our breakfast dates to training sessions with her. You've been neglecting to ask me about my day and how I've been so that you can tell me all about your day with her. You've just been ignoring me when I'm in the same room as you two, because you're clearly having too much fun with her to be bothered. And you've started giving her my seat at the dinner table, because rather than find out where I am, you'd rather have her fill my place."

Mor's dead silent, staring at you from across the room. Her tears are still dripping, her hand is clenched into a fist and her other hand has come up to cover her mouth.

"All I've wanted these past few weeks is your attention. Your love. And no matter what I do, I can't seem to get it. But... but Emerie has no problem." You pause and take a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. "So, no, Mor. Maybe you've not exactly shown me that you're not in love with me, but you have shown me that you're falling in love with someone else."

She chokes on a sob. "No, Gods, no, baby. No. Never could I love anyone else."

You're crying again, and you choke on a sob mixed with a bitter laugh. "I-I think that you want to believe that. Mor, I've always known that I'm not right for you, mates or not, I think you know it too."

You turn and open the closet door, entering the small space and grabbing one of your larger bags. Mor walks in after you.

"T-That is not fucking true!" She blubbers, heaving deep breaths as she watches you pack some of your clothes.

"B-Baby, s-stop," she tries to plead, but you ignore her, and shake her hand off when she tries to grab your arm. You've just been grabbing things at random, but you need to get out of this house, now, so you can only hope that you've grabbed enough pants, shirts, dresses, and pairs of bras and underwear to actually last you a while.

You storm out of the closet and head into the bathroom to grab toiletries. Again, you grab at random, hardly able to see through your tears. And, of course, Mor follows.

"Y/N, p-please stop, we can talk about this, plea-"

You whirl around. "I've said all I needed to say! I'm done, Mor. I'm done."

Mor cries harder, looking down at the floor in utter devastation. The sound of her sobs breaks your heart even more than it already has, and you resist the urge to comfort her, to tell her it's okay, that you two can move on.

Reentering the bedroom, you throw the bag on the bed so that you can zip it up. Mor trails after you, and watches as the love of her life gets ready to leave her.

"Baby, please, I-I love you, so fucking much. I'm sorry, I-I'm so, so sorry," she can hardly get it out from how hard she's crying, and you know that if you turn around, you'll break. So you focus on sliding your bag up your arm and putting your shoes on. When you're ready, you make for the bedroom door, and you practically run down the stairs, eager to get away from the heartbreak tainting the house that was meant to be your home.

Again, Mor grabs your arm before you can open the front door. "Please don't leave, let me make this right," her voice is a whisper, muffled from the congestion caused by her crying.

You close your eyes, you don't turn to look at her. "I love you, Mor, I always will," you hear Mor's breath catch as she waits for you to finish, as she hopes that you'll relent, that you'll put the bag down and take her into your arms and let her explain and apologize and let her change so that she never hurts you again. But you meant what you said, when you told her that you couldn't do it anymore. "But I'm done. I-I'm sorry."

And with that, you're ripping the door open, and leaving into the night.

---

A/N: Whew! That was angsty! Also, just wanna add, I love Emerie! I tried to not make her sound like a female trying to take Mor away from reader, but she is the source of the issue here. Just please know that my characterization of her is not book accurate and was changed for the sake of a fight fic, I love Emerie a lot!

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gogolucky13 · 3 years

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Picking Up the Pieces [1/3]

Summary: Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not. [Modern AU]

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers x f!Reader (briefly)

Word count: 1,577

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Smut (not explicit). Swearing. Mentions of alcohol. (18+ only please).

A/N: This is my submission for @firefly-in-darkness 2k Follower Challenge. I chose the prompt “Sometimes the people we like don’t like us back, and there’s nothing you can do about it” which will be in bold. This will be three parts. I do not in any way condone cheating! Anyways, thank you for putting this challenge together, Daisy!! Congrats on the follower milestone! Hope you like! 😊💜 gif not mine.

Part Two // Part Three

Come over?

The words glare at you. The harsh light of your phone and the blackness of the letters causing you to squint. Two words. Two simple words that mean nothing in any other context. It’s a seemingly innocent request, yet when it has to do with him, it’s anything but. An unholy scripture, hard to ignore. Guilt and shame already clawing at your insides before you even respond because you never say no to him.

Be there in twenty.

Standing from the couch, a sigh falls from your lips. This has been the pattern for nearly two years. Bucky beckons after another fight with his girlfriend, Natasha, and each time you willingly go to pick up the pieces.

Eyes downcast as you pass the mirror that hangs in the hallway towards your bedroom. Unable to look at yourself because you know it's wrong. But all sense and logic is lost and forgotten when it comes to him. And you hate yourself for it.

A soft knock to the door and you wait for Bucky to open it. Not even a second later, he stands before you with bloodshot eyes and a crease to his brow. He silently waves for you to come in. The air still feels stiff, tense from the fight you’re sure just took place.

“You alright?” You gently ask, slipping out of your jacket.

From the corner of your eye, you see him shrug and take another swig of the beer he’s holding.

“I’ll be fine.” His voice is flat, any trace of emotion tucked away between the syllables.

You quietly regard him for a moment. Seeing him like this—sad, frustrated, heartbroken—has your chest tightening. You hate it. This isn’t the Bucky you remember from college.

Gone is the free-spirited young man who invited you to house parties and unashamedly flirted with you all night, eliciting school-girl giggles from glossed lips. Gone is the happy young man who made a bad day better with lame jokes and lousy attempts at home cooked meals just to see you smile.

This isn’t the Bucky you know.

The one you easily fell into a friendship with, that quickly turned to something more but never enough for you. And sometimes you wish you could take back that first night. Press the rewind button and do things differently.

Vodka and whiskey stained tongues entrancing and inevitably luring you both to bed. One drunken night turned into several then soon you were only drunk on each other.

It’s hard for you to recall a time when you weren’t actively sleeping with Bucky. The only time that sticks out where there was a lapse in your trysts was when he first started dating Natasha. Their relationship caught you off guard because you had no idea Bucky met someone or was even looking to date.

Always oblivious to your feelings for him, Bucky introduced Natasha to your group of friends after a few dates. They met at the gym, apparently, and you were forced to watch them be together ever since then. It hurt, because Bucky appeared happy and you forever wished it was you who could bring him that much joy.

But you smiled through the pain, settling uncomfortably into the fact you’ll only ever be a friend.

The first time you slept together while he was still with Natasha you were both drunk. He called asking to meet up at the bar between your apartments, a place you frequent with friends, to talk about the fight they just had. Of course you went, always a shoulder to cry on for one another. Bucky was new to relationships, never having been with anyone that went more than a handful of dates. So, you drank and talked him through the why’s and the how’s of their argument.

Then one drink became five then became somewhere between seven and ten, and talks of relationship troubles were forgotten as you both caved to your old ways. You weren’t sure if it was the same for him, but being with him again after so long was like coming home. Elation flooded through you. Your heart bursting, because a part of you thought perhaps he’ll realize he’s happier without her and leave the relationship in the rearview mirror to travel this new uncharted territory with you.

But, the break up never came and the trysts carried on. The talks became repetitive, then not at all, because he knows how you feel about Natasha and their relationship. And you kept responding to his calls because there’s still a piece of your heart that holds onto the sliver of hope that maybe one day he’ll change his mind and pick you to be his forever.

“Why do you stay with her, Buck?” You question, the words slightly strained because you just want him to be happy. “It seems like you guys are always fighting.”

Bucky scoffs around the lip of his beer bottle, and you cross your arms defensively.

“Because I love her, Y/N.”

“Do you really?”

The muscle of his jaw twitches under his skin and his knuckles around the beer bottle are turning white as he stares back at you, an indiscernible look distorting his features.

“Yes.”

Shaking your head and rolling your eyes you turn away from him and let out a frustrated sigh.

“If you love her, then why do you still call me?”

“Don’t do this, please,” Bucky grits out from behind you. He’s not in the mood for this, you can tell, but your patience with the situation is starting to wear thin.

“Okay, sorry,” you mumble, turning back to face him after several moments.

Shamefully meeting each other’s stare, he offers you a beer and so begins the cycle. No less than ten minutes later, you’re tangled in sheets with skin on skin against your better judgement. Writhing and bare under the man you love, but who doesn’t love you back as anything more than a friend.

The two of you have done this so many times, it’s practically a rehearsed routine of heated touches, playful kisses, and wanton moans. Every curve, every crest, a familiar sight. Bodies moving together in muscle memory as you bring pleasure to one another.

Gasping for air, you clench around him, hands tightly gripping his shoulders as his face buries in your neck. Heavy pants fan across your skin, his thrusts are unrelenting—a physicality of his frustrations and desires. Your body a release, an escape. And you let him use it, take your dignity every time, because you love him and would do anything for him.

Tears begin to brim at your lower lashes feeling the rise of your climax tingling your limbs.

“Oh, fuck,” Bucky gasps against your neck. You can tell he’s close and you push forward to reach your own peak. “Fuck, Natasha.”

Eyes flying open, shock washes over you like a bucket of ice water. The sound of Bucky’s moans are drowned out from the blood rushing in your ears, and any hopes of finishing alongside him are annihilated.

Needy hands grab your thighs as he releases inside the condom, and you wish the bed would just swallow you up and make you disappear. Tensing, you call upon every fiber in your being to not breakdown right there underneath him. When he pulls out and collapses beside you, there’s no indication from him that he realizes what he’s just done.

Feeling dirty and angry is not unusual after sleeping with Bucky, but this time, you’re absolutely disgusted and enraged. At yourself, at him, at the whole situation.

Shifting to get up off the bed, you have no plan to stick around for any post-sex chats or cuddles. Shaky hands grab for the clothes that were discarded in the heat of the moment; when you could forget and blissfully fool yourself he was yours.

“Leaving already?”

“Yeah, I, uh,” clearing your throat in an attempt to stop the bubbling of emotion, “I forgot to feed the cat.”

“He can’t wait another hour or so?”

“No.”

“Alright.”

The bed shakes when Bucky moves to clean up and pull on a pair of boxers.

Silently, and as quickly as possible, without drawing anymore suspicion to the change in your mood, you dress yourself. The threat of tears stings your eyes, your gaze fixed on the floor as Bucky walks behind you to the front door.

“I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

Teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you nod your head robotically, and give him a quiet hum of affirmation before slipping out the door without a second look.

The moment you’re back home, you head straight for a shower. Desperate to cleanse your body and mind of Bucky and your sins. Sliding under the sheets, skin raw from scrubbing away the impurities, you let the first tears fall when the lights go out and darkness envelops you.

The next time he calls for you, not even three days later, the words are the same, but everything is different.

Come over?

The deafening pant of ‘Natasha’ rings in your ears, nausea rising from the pit of your stomach. With blurry vision you reread the message before a trembling finger deletes it. You place the phone face down on your coffee table, curling into yourself, tight arms around your knees as you cry. Again.

This time the call is easy to ignore, but no less painful.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #Fireflys2k

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years

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Penny’s Final Word

Cinder might have had the final word of the volume and that is a meta for another time. Still, there is another character who got to have another important final word:

Penny: Let me choose this one thing.

Penny’s arc has always been about self-actualization and escaping objectification.

She was created to be a weapon and everything was decided for her by basically... everyone:

Both enemies and loved ones alike ended up choosing for her multiple times, so it is fitting that Penny herself is the one who has the last word about herself. She makes the final choice that decides how her life should end and what her legacy should be.

At the same time, Penny’s final choice and sacrifice perfectly tie together all the major themes explored in the Atlas arc.

This analysis will try to explore her arc and to show how it is central to everything the Atlas volumes wanted to convey.

PENNY AND HER FAIRIES

What makes a person a person and not something else?

This is a key question in Penny’s story and it can’t be answered without addressing who her Blue Fairy is.

Is it Fria?

Or Ambrosius?

The answer is neither and both. These two characters are definately references to the Blue Fairy, but they are not the ones who make Penny feel human. The one who does is ironically a red fairy:

You saw my soul Through the nuts and bolts You're the friend I can trust Helped me see I'm not just a machine

It is Ruby’s aknowledgement of Penny’s personhood that makes Penny feel alive.

So, what about Fria and Ambrosius? What is their role?

Fria chooses Penny as the next Winter Maiden. This is a powerful moment thematically because it is an aknowledgement of Penny’s humanity. She has always been a real girl, a Maiden at Heart, hence she can be given the powers and protect them.

Ambrosius removes Penny’s robotic parts and makes the “real” Penny come to the surface:

Ambrosius: Okay, but if I take the robot parts out of her, that would leave...

Blake: Penny. The girl who's always been there underneath it.

Penny’s new body is human because Penny has always been human and has always wanted to feel human.

In short, these two moments are moments of recognition of Penny’s humanity. She becomes a human both in soul (Fria) and body (Ambrosius). In particular, she has always had a human soul and this is why it can be tied to the power of the Maiden. When it comes to her body, she aquires a human one because her new appearance is nothing, but a mirror of her soul.

Still, even if these two moments are both meaningful, they are also moments where Penny receives something passively. They are aknowledgements of Penny’s humanity yes, but Penny wants more. She wants personhood aka to live as her own person.

To truly become a person one must be able to make their own choices. And interestingly, Penny’s free will is linked to both moments with her two blue fairies.

Ambrosius’s magic does not simply give Penny a human body, but it gives her back her freedom. Not only that, but it makes it impossible hacking her ever again.

Fria’s interaction with Penny is more complicated.

First of all, Fria does not impose the power on Penny, but asks her to make a choice:

Fria: Penny. Are you the one?

Penny: I…

And Penny does so in a sense, but it is gray. Penny is given no time to think about this choice, differently from both Winter and Pyrrha. It is something imposed on her by the events:

Penny: But taking the Maiden power was the only way to stop--

Moreover, it is something she very clearly does not want:

Penny: I was the protector of Mantle, but now, I am much more than that, and I wish I was not.

In short, Penny’s interaction with Fria is a recognition of her humanity, but also a duty imposed on her by external occurrences.

It is not what Penny herself wants. To truly be human, instead, Penny should make her own choices and be given the chance to pursue what she wants.

Still, what does she truly wishes for?

PENNY AND HER JIMINY CRICKETS

Penny’s wish is made obvious since her first appearance:

Penny: "You called me 'friend'! Am I really your friend?"

Ruby: "Uuuum... Y-Yeah, sure! Why not?"

My wish came true That day that you appeared And called me friend

She wants friends to the point that Ruby’s awkward aknowledgement of their friendship is enough to make Penny completely loyal to the other girl.

At the same time, there are many Jimini Crickets that go in the way of Penny’s wish for friendship:

Penny: I've never been to another kingdom before. My father asked me not to venture out too far, but... You have to understand, my father loves me very much; he just worries a lot.

(...)

Penny: I... was asked not to talk to you. Or Weiss. Or Blake. Or Yang. Anybody, really.

Ruby: Was your dad that upset?

Penny: No, it wasn't my father...

Both Ironwood’s high expectations and Pietro’s overprotectiveness make so that she is not free to enjoy her own life as she wants.

She arrives to the point that she comes up with a plan to stay at Beacon with her new friends:

Penny: Ruby, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I want to stay at Beacon.

Ruby: Penny, they'll never let you do that.

Penny: I know, but I have a plan.

However, we never discover what this plan is:

This does not happen by chance and Penny’s plan is not a dropped plot-point. It is symbolic of how her agency is completely negated. She is objectified to the point that her story is interrupted before she can take any action. It is a meta-way to comment her character and her major struggle.

Penny’s first death is more than a murder. It is a way to refuse Penny’s personhood and agency:

Ruby: And Penny… was killed… just to make a statement.

She is used as a symbol of Atlas’s shady research. Penny’s own self is forgotten in the chaos that follows.

The same thing happens in Atlas as well:

Ruby: I don't think Robyn was their target. Salem's goal has always been to divide us. I think Penny was exactly where they wanted her, just like at the Vytal Festival.

This time she is not framed as a victim, but as a perpetrator and used as the symbol of an authoritarian regime.

Her enemies’ objectification of Penny is made clear in many ways:

Cinder: I have come too far to be stopped by some toy!

Cinder: You’re just a tool to be used!

Salem: Although he remains in captivity, it seems that he has worked with Ironwood to gain some control over the puppet masquerading as the Winter Maiden.

And Watts’s virus is just the culmination of it. It is the embodyment of the Jiminy Cricket trying to overwrite what Penny wants.

At the same time, though, Penny’s enemies are not the only ones who try to control her:

Pietro: I lost you before. Are you asking me to go through that again? No. No. I want the chance to watch you live your life.

Penny: But dad… I am trying to.

Penny’s loved ones have tried to protect her all along. However, this wish of protection ends up going in the way of what she really wants:

I've been combat-ready since The day dad made me Now I'll fight for something more Might sound wholesome, But strangely I've got friends Fighting for

What Penny wants is to fight together and for her friends. She does not want her life to be considered less than others’. Still, she does not even want it to be put before others’:

Cinder: I don’t serve anyone. And you wouldn’t either, if you weren't built that way.

Penny: That is not…I choose to fight for people who care about me.

In short, it is as Maria says:

Maria: Don’t you think Penny has had enough people telling her what to do?

PENNY AND BEING A REAL GIRL

At its root, Penny’s struggle has always been this:

Penny: I feel like I wish I could do both the things I need to do and the things I want to do. Is that normal?

She wants to reconcile her duty and her personal wishes.

It is her duty to accept the power of the Maiden and to protect it.

It is her wish to live with her friends and to protect them.

These two things end up coming into conflict multiple times:

Penny: And after the launch, I’ll return to help you all with the evacuation.

Pietro: About that, Penny. When Amity goes up, I think you should be on it with Maria and I.

Penny: But they need me here. Right?

Ruby: Well, if you stay far out of Salem’s reach, then she can’t open the vault. She can’t get to the relic. So...

Weiss: Maybe it is for the best?

Until the finale where Penny makes a specific choice:

Weiss: Penny, no!

If Penny were to act as the perfect Maiden, she would have just gone to Vacuo with the staff. In this way she could have protected both the relic and the power. Even if Cinder had ended up killing all her friends, Salem would have still lost.

However, Penny decides not to act as a Maiden, but as a friend:

Penny: You wouldn’t know anything about friends.

Even the reason why Cinder manages to mortally wound her is because Penny is worried about Jaune and Weiss and gets distracted for a second:

However, it is specifically in the moment of her death that Penny is able to make a choice to reconcile both who she is and what she has to do.

She chooses to protect the power:

Penny: She can’t get the staff..and the power.

And to save a friend:

Penny: I thought of you. And here we are.

Winter would have died without the Maiden powers and the same can be said about the people stranded in Vacuo. Penny saves all by choosing to be the one in control of her death.

Her choice is extremely powerful thematically and it ties together all the themes explored in these last two volumes.

1) It is a choice about trust:

Penny: Trust me.

Winter: Thank you for trusting me with this.

Penny asks to be trusted and chooses to trust as well. After all, this is what friendship is all about:

Attached but not By strings

It is a choice that uses the motif of “the part of you” in two different ways.

2) Becoming a part of someone else can be seen as a reference to the process of grieving, which is one of the themes explored in this volume:

Grieving means to come to terms with your loss, to accept your feelings for the people who are gone and also their contradictions:

Robyn: Clover was a lot of things. You respected him, but I gotta tell ya, I think you’re the better Huntsman.

Vine: Then perhaps Clover was wrong too.

The lost ones will be missed regardless:

Harriet: Don't you dare! Clover was... He was...

Vine: ...Important to you.

Still, once you manage to finally grieve, you’ll realize the other person has become a part of you:

It does not matter if Qrow’s semblance has evolved, if it is a part of Clover’s power having stayed attached to the pin, both or if it is Clover looking out for them.

What’s important is that Clover will keep on living inside Qrow because Qrow will never forget him or what Clover has taught him:

Clover: You shouldn't do that, you know.

Qrow: Don't worry, I-I gave that up.

Clover: I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.

Qrow should love himself. Only in this way he can stop being a self-fulfilling curse. Only in this way he can start looking at his own life with hope and wish for good luck.

Similarly, Penny won’t be forgotten and her legacy will live through Winter:

Penny: She's… gone.

Winter: No. She's a part of you now.

Penny: I won’t be gone, I’ll be part of you.

3) Penny becomes a part of Winter because Winter is finally able to do this:

Winter: But yes Penny, we must still acknowledge our personal feelings, wrestle with them. It ensures us that we're on the right path. It's what makes us human.

Winter is the one who taught Penny this, but it is obvious that through volume 7 and 8 she has avoided to face her feelings for both her family and Ironwood. By the end of volume 8, however, she is finally able to accept her emotions. She can finally follow her heart. Penny becoming “a part of her” is symbolic of this. As a matter of fact their dynamic has always been about Winter acting as “the mind” and Penny being “the heart”.

Symbolically they integrate because they both are becoming their own person even if in different ways.

Winter becomes her own person because she rejects this mentality:

Winter: Penny. The general is making hard choices so we don't have to.

Penny becomes her own person because she is finally in control of herself and her destiny. Moreover, she is able to do for Winter what Ruby has done for her:

Winter: No, Penny, you were always the real Maiden at heart. I was just a machine. Just… following orders.

Penny: You’re my friend.

She affirms Winter’s personhood and in this way she affirms her own as well.

In other words, this version of Pinocchio does not end with the protagonist being transformed into a real boy by the Blue Fairy, but with Penny transforming Winter in the Blue Fairy:

So “becoming fully human” in RWBY means to do this:

Qrow: This last great creation would be given the power to both create and destroy. It would be given the gift of knowledge, so that it could learn about itself and the world around it. And most importantly, it would be given the power to choose, to have free will to take everything it had learned and decide which path to follow - the path of light or the path of darkness. And that is how Humanity came to be.

It is about gaining knowledge, like Penny does about feelings and relationships, loving life and accepting death. Finally, it is about making a choice, even if it is painful.

This is because being human is not always simple. It can be hard:

But I found that humanity It came with sacrifice

Having a human soul means you have a duty to do the right thing out of your own free will, like Fria’s gift showed.

Having a human body means you can experience the warmth of a hug:

But it also means you can be mortally wounded:

This is Ambrosius’s teaching.

Still, it was worth it all for Penny because she got the chance to meet friends and to feel alive:

An answered prayer A chance to Share the world To be a girl Who fin'lly felt alive

This is why her second death can be juxtaposed to her first one. Both times she was killed by Cinder. However, the first time she was used as a pawn in Cinder’s plan. This time instead she is not letting herself be controlled and she negates Cinder what she really wants out of her own free will.

In conclusion, there is this phrase by Jean-Paul Sartre:

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

And I think it sums up Penny’s story perfectly.

Penny does not choose to be born a robot or to be used as a weapon. She is objectified in multiple ways...

Still, she manages to make something amazing out of herself.

#rwby #rwby vol8 #penny polendina #rwby meta #rwby spoilers #my meta #qrow branwen #even if only a little

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technowoah · 3 years

Text

Rather Be Devisive Than Indecisive pt. 2

You weren't planning to help Techno again, but here you are with his horse.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- I really wanted to do second part anyways! So thanks a bunch!

- this story is long 😪 it'll all make sense though!

- part 1 is here!

- masterlist!

To say everything went south was a understatement. Everything went to hell, and you were currently living in it. You missed watching the sunset standing ontop L'Manburg's walls, you missed the peacefulness before the war. Maybe back then was too good to be true.

After the last encounter with Technoblade you had turned back to help Tommy and Tubbo. You tried to help wherever you could because you can see everyone drift apart, the main reason people came together was gone and dead. You tried to be a bigger sibling to both of them, and you tried to Tubbo and the former citizens repair the crater Wilbur left behind.

It took years, but L'Manburg was new and fresh again, with the help of Tubbo's new cabinet of trusted people L'Manburg was peaceful again. Tubbo had made you apart of his cabinet as well as Quackity, Fundy, Tommy and Karl. It was a new beginning.

There were days where you wondered if Wilbur would get a funeral. Schlatt had gotton a funeral, but you saw first hand how that went it wasnt a somber moment at all. It was for the best, they had mixed feelings about Wilbur and you dont blame them.

You had a new family, but there were things unkown to you, things that are being created out of your knowledge and that scared you. We have new L'manburg, but it isnt the same you dont know how long Tubbo could uphold peace in this new kingdom.

New things were created from the end of a old one.

It was a peaceful day in L'Manburg just as Tubbo promised the new citizens. You had stayed busy the whole day until a certian blonde came around your house frantically urging you to get outside and follow him

"C'mon! Just follow me! I have something to show you!"

"Tommy what are you talking about?!"

"Its VERY important, hurry! I dont want him to leave that spot."

Tommy had dragged you by the arm to the pier that evening and kept chanting that he had to show you something of utmost importance. You were trying to ask questions and keep up with his pace as he weaved through buildings claiming they were a "shortcut". Tommy stopped you at the pier and stood to your side, he was looking back and forth at the end of the pier to the water and back to you again.

You were about to ask why you were there until you saw a familiar man.

"Oh! Hello! Tommy who is this?"

He was pale, no, he was transparent. He looked pale, the sunset's dull rays made it seem like he still had skin. He had a yellow sweater on with brown pants and black shoes. He looked comfortable, he looked free. Next to his side there was a sheep on a leash with blue dye, you noticed it was poorly dyed too the dye was dripping from its wool. It was Wilbur, physically, but it wasn't HIM.

"He's Ghostbur." Tommy whispered to you while he stood between you two.

"Yes, I'm Ghostbur!" The ghost cheerfully said.

"This- this is y/n. Dont you remember?" Tommy cautiously asked Ghostbur.

Ghostbur had a look of confusion and curiosity on his face. He seemed so pure compared to when he was alive.

"No..I can't, but I would love to know." He stuck out his hand in a greeting.

"Hi I'm ghostbur!"

"I'm y/n." You said lowly.

You tried to reach out and grab his hand but it went straight through. You hated it, he's gone and you couldn't bring him back. It isn't him, but Ghostbur maybe better, Wilbur is gone and thats okay. Something came out of nothing, you kept telling yourself that everything was okay, but now seeing Ghostbur so naive and pure and free of the world's weight you believed everything would be fine.

"Im sorry. Im transparent, and I have no flesh." Ghostbur smiled.

"That's fine." You paused looking for the right words. "Do you know what you did? To L'Manburg?"

"Believe me, he dosen't. I tried." Tommy said to you.

"I couldn't belive I would do such a thing." Ghostbur added on.

"He shares no memories of Wilbur. Basically a new person." Tommy continued.

"That's great." You perked up. "It's bittersweet ya know. But Im happy you're here Ghostbur!"

"Im happy I'm here too, and Im happy I met you today." Ghostbur smiled at you while his sheep walked towards you, he unknowingly rubbed up against you putting blue dye on your clothes.

"Oh! This is Friend! I forgot to mention him to you. You can pet him!"

You didnt want to. He was dripping with dye, but you did it to appease Ghostbur. Tommy cringed while you petted the slightly wet, blue sheep. Once you were done your hand was blue, you rubbed it on your clothes that were already blue.

"I think he likes you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

You were so thankful for Tommy bringing you to that pier. It was the closure you needed to move on and focus on building a new life for all of you. A peaceful life, but it seemed too good to be true. Days went by like normal and that sometimes was too much for you. You worked on new buildings and worked with Tubbo's cabinet too, that was a new normality for you.

The unknown scared you, but you had your family here. You had made amends with them and now and this is what you wanted. But then again it all seemed too good to be true.

Nobody had told you anything, you weren't in cabinet meetings, nor around Tubbo or Tommy. You felt shut out, you felt sick. The cabinet had decided to do something about Tommy and Dream started to become involved in Tommy's predicament. Soon after Tommy was in court, stripped away of his vice presidency, and had been put on probation.

Tubbo had come to you about Tommy being exiled. There was a huge meeting with the cabient and Dream about that situation and you had stayed silent the whole time. You wanted what was best for L'Manburg, but Tommy was like a brother to you, you couldn't send him away to fend for himself. You could see the confliction on Tubbo's face as he was going through the same dilemma as you were.

In the end Dream gave Tubboo 3 days to chose if to exile Tommy or not.

Tubbo had talked to you about the situation before the second day came. You two were in the same boat when it came to exiling him. You two had came to a conclusion, Tubbo just had to talk with the rest of his cabinent for a final conclusion.

The second day came and the plan switched immediately when Tommy came and introduced it. He wanted to fight back against Dream, of course he did, but he wanted another man to come and help. They wanted Technoblade to join their revolt. Quackity and Fundy agreed with the idea, but Tubbo was more cautious. You hated it.

Technoblade wasn't a subject nor person you wanted to be associated with ever since that night in Pogtopia. After all this time you had forgotten about him, you had forgotten your failed attempt at rekindling your friendship until now.

Tubbo was cautious, but you were 100% against it. Tubbo agreed with the rest of the cabinet and Tommy. They eventually asked you, and of course you said no, but it didn't matter, majority rules in this case.

You all approched Dream intop of the obsidian walls with your final decision.

"We have come to a decision. Look around." Tubbk leaded.

"There's giant, obsidian walls." Dream answered calmly.

"There is, there is Dream. And that's a problem, okay? This is funny actually." Tubbo turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, I am- I am so sorry."

Tubbo continues to talk to Dream. "I have come to the decision, that it'll be better for the nation the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled from L'Manburg."

"What?"

"Tubbo?!"

"Teaming up with Technoblade is an awful idea! It's an awful idea!"

Oh thank goodness.

"We just had this conversation!" Fundy yelled.

"No! No! Okay?! Nothing! Involving any kind of conflict is not safe for this nation! You've undermined my authority from the get go! Okay! All of you! No one here has respected me. You all jump on these merry little bandwagons of destruction. It's not okay!"

Tubbo was livid. His face was turning red and will keep doing so if he kept yelling. You felt a familiar breeze beside you as you saw Ghostbur standing next to you and behind Tommy. He smiled at you and continued yo listen to Tubbo's angry speech. You wondered why he was here, why he showed up at times and then left. Like he only needed to listen and not give any input.

"You cant go back on the plan now?! What the hell?!" Tommy yelled.

"When I was sworn in I made a promise to do what was best for the nation. And right now, Tommy you, your presence here is not the best for his nation."

Your heart dropped to your stomach and you think ghostbur noticed. You were happy that you didnt need to see Technoblade again, but you were going to lose what you would call a brother. You started to backtrack on your final decision, you belived Tubbo was in thr right. Tubbo wanted what was best for L'Manburg and what was best for L'Manburg was for Tommy to be exiled. You wished there was another way, but you know Tommy was stubborn it wouldn't work that easy.

Your mind kept wandering to if Tubbo decided to team with Technoblade. He was right there would be destruction, a huge war and probably the end of L'Manburg. You didn't want that again, you didn't want to see him again. You couldn't help but wonder if he knew L'Manburg was brand new.

"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."

Tommy was gone. Its been weeks, four weeks to be exact. L'Manburg was peaceful, everywhere was peaceful, but you had to admit that you missed him. Fundy and Quackity tried to convince Tubbo to bring Tommy back, but he already made up his mind. He was confident in his decision, you were proud he was ruling L'Manburg confidently, but everyone was weary.

You haven't seen Ghostbur around either, he must've been floating around somewhere. It's none of your business.

The walls have been taken down and L'Manburg was independent again. There were sacrifices to be made. There were a lot of sacrifices to be made to keep L'Manburg up, and you kept asking yourself if everything was worth it. Was the discs worth that much to Tommy? Was L'Manburg even a good choice to begin with?

Was Technoblade right?

The Butcher Gang. They were calling themselves The Butcher Gang. The cabinet had several meeting and came ti the decisions that the biggest problems in L'Manburg were Technoblade and Dream. The cabinet decided not to kill Dream because of the fact that he was allies with L'Manburg, so they decided to try and kill Technoblade.

Dumbasses. You've mentioned to Tubbo that he was a very, very, very dangerous man. Tubbo has seen him before! You asked Tubbo constantly why did he wants to kill him when he says that he didn't want to team up with him. Tubbo said it was for the better of L'Manburg, but dosent he know that might cause even more trouble?

You didnt want to join them, you couldn't risk your life for something that is impossible to achieve. You separated from the cabinet, you couldn't watch them do this and you tried to stop them, but they insisted on the act.

Lately you've seen more of Ghostbur and that made you happy. It made you happy he wanted to spend time with you and it made you forget the trouble brewing in the cabinet.

"What's wrong?" Ghostbur asked while sitting on the edge of the pier with you, and Friend who was tied to one of the pier's poles.

"It's nothing Ghostbur." You said with a sigh.

"Good!" He cheerfully said.

"Can I actually tel you something?" You asked again, you wanted to get this off of your chest.

"Of course." He smiled.

You sighed and then began to speak as you looked out to the water. "It's the cabinet, its Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity that's the problem."

"But they are wonderful people! What can they do wrong?" Ghostbur suddenly asked.

"They want to kill someone, Ghostbur."

"Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

"I dont- I dont think so." You hung your head looking at your feet.

"Ghostbur, they want to kill Technoblade and I dont-"

"Technoblade?! That's my friend! Why- why would they want to kill him?"

Your heart felt heavy at his words. Another point not to kill Technoblade, you didn't want Ghostbur to hurt, not like Wilbur.

"He was a friend of mine too once. When L'Manburg first got blown up he- we betrayed L'Manburg and then spawned 3 wither skeletons to destroy the rest of the citizens." You explained to Ghostbur's disrught face.

"You wouldn't do that! You're kind!" Ghostbur exclaimed.

"It wasn't my best decision Ghostbur. People can make bad mistakes. A lot of people do. They aren't pure like you." You smiled softly at him.

A long hush fell over the two of you until Ghostbur perked up.

"We need to save Technoblade!" He exclaimed.

"Ghostbur I cant do that."

"Why not?"

"Because me and Techno aren't friends anymore." You said sadly.

"Why not?"

You couldn't answer that. You can, you can give the right answer, but at this moment you couldnt tell the ghost who suddenly stood up next to you.

"If I take you to where Technoblade lives will you feel better?" Ghostbur asked with Friend's leash in his hands.

Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity didnt know where Technoblade lives and desperately wanted to know to kill him. Maybe this was a good idea. You tried to convince yourself that as you walked side by side with Ghostbur. You had followed him through the woods as he weaved in and out of the trees. Friend was following Ghostbur as well, he wouldn't let Friend stay anywhere out of his sight.

You were getting special treatment, you were about to find out where Technoblade lived before The Butcher Gang would. Would you be considered a traitor again? Tubbo wouldn't want you back in the cabinet if you knew where Technoblade lived and you didnt tell him.

The atmosphere got colder as you two ventured on, you didnt know he would retreat all the way out here. It was snowing and you didn't bring any type of warm clothing considering L'Manburg was rather warm. Ghostbur had no problem, neither did Friend. Luckily you saw a light in the dark woods. It was further away, but you could see the light expand as you two treaded over towards it.

"That's the house!" Ghostbur pointed too.

You two reached the end of the woods and before you was an opening. There was blanket of white snow everywhere, there were footprints in the snow, but they were being covered by the falling snow above you. It was a valley and the only thing there was a beautiful wooden house. It was errie, the only civilization here was was Technoblade who lived in the house.

"It's pretty lonely." You said still cautious of the situation.

"Yeah it's sad, but we're here and it's okay!" Ghostbur said.

"Sure." You whispered as Ghostbur continues to lead the way.

You two got closer and closer to the house and you continued to try and back out. It's too late to do so now, you didnt even feel like walking back to L'Manburg after you confront Technoblade again. The two of you were heading up to his door, your heart was beating heavier as you got to his door. You brought your fist up to knock on the door, hopefully he was home because you were freezing cold. You harshly knocked on his door and awaited for his response.

You two waited for a while, but no one was opening the door.

"Ghostbur why don't you go inside?"

"I'll just peak my head in!" He answered and did so. His head phased through the door and then he came back out with a frown on his face. "No one is in there."

"Why did we come here?" You sulked and started to turn away from the door.

"Why the hell are you two here at night?!"

"Oh! Techno! Hi!"

Shit. You were looking into his eyes and you froze when he turned to you. This was the first time you've seen him in years ever since Pogtopia, you hated it. It was embarrassing you tried to become friends long ago, but that failed, and now you were here again. He probably saw you as desperate, coming back to him after betraying him.

"Hello Ghostbur. How are you?" Technoblade walked in between the two of you opening the door to his house. When he walked in he intentionally left the door open for you and Ghostbur. Luckily it was warmer inside and you welcomed it.

"Im good! But we are here for you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

"Oh really?" Technoblade said while occupying himself with something else, not even bothering to look at the two of you standing awkwardly at his closed door.

"Yeah, Y/N tell him!" Ghostbur urged you on.

You paused for a second before speaking to Technoblade, who wasnt even paying attention. "There's these people called the Butcher Gang."

"Sounds stupid."

"Yeah it is. And they want you."

Techno scoffed. "Want me for what?"

You knew Technoblade was smarter than this. He was bouncing around the room not even sparing a glance towards you. He wasn't paying attention.

"They want to kill you Technoblade."

He stopped all of his movements, stood up to his full height and looked towards you and Ghostbur for the first time you've been in his house.

"You better not be screwing with me."

"Why would I?!" You got offended by his statement.

"I dont know, because you show up to my house out of nowhere and tell me that people are trying to kill me. This could be a setup! I cant trust-"

"Okay! The Butcher Gang is Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy. Thats all I know of who's in the group. They want to kill you because you are a threat to L'Manburg. Trust me!" You cut him off and explained.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Technoblade asked you.

"Dont kill them, but I wanted to warn you. They are being reckless and since you're out here they shouldn't bother you. They're looking for more trouble, Tubbo already has a lot on his plate, this isn't a good idea for you nor L'Manburg."

You finished your statement still weary of this whole situation. You hated being in this situation, Techno's presence didn't make you uncomfortable it was just seeing him and warning him of future danger. You two weren't even considered close, why were you here? You were here for L'Manburg.

"Okay. I'll try. No promises though." Techno smirked and continued doing whatever task he was doing.

You found somewhere to sit for the time being knowing that you two wouldn't talk. Looking around the room you realized that Friend was alone inside the house without Ghostbur. You looked outside and saw him walking from the woods again in a rushed pace. You didn't know he left, he phased back into the house.

"They say they're gonna kill you. Y/n was right." Ghostbur says.

"Were you two leading them to my house?!"

"No."

"No we didn't! We didn't even know they were coming today!" You stood up looking out the window in search of Tubbo and the rest of them.

"Ghostbur who was with them?" You asked as Techno ran around the rooms for weapons and armor.

"Um, Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity..Oh! And Ranboo."

"Ranboo?!" That poor kid. What is he doing?

"Eventhough I hate to say this. I don't trust you. Get out." Technoblade paused infront of you before rushing to the other room. "And tell them I'm not home!"

"And if that dosent work?!" You yelled back.

"Then to hell with them!"

You rushed outside with Ghostbur, hoping that the Butcher Gang dosen't notice you were leaving Technoblade's house. It was too late, they were already lined up outside with full netherite armor and gear.

"Y/n?!"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Tubbo asked as you made your way towards them.

"Im- I wanted to try and rekindle mine and Technoblade's relationship." You used an old lie to get yourself out of this situation. This was an already bad look on you, hopefully your lie would work.

"I thought your friendship ended a long time ago?" Tubbo asked again.

"It did, but I wanted to try again." This was embarrassing, now you really seem desperate.

"I see, then move out of our way." Tubbo asked you harshly.

"Uh- hey." Technoblade came out of his house with full netherite too, you weren't protected, so you will have to stay out of the way.

"Why have you guys come all the way over here to my humble abode?" Technoblade started walking towards his stable where he kelt his horse. He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work. As he moved you moved with him trying not to be inbetween the dangerous men with swords and enchanted armor.

"You need to pay for your war crimes." Tubbo said while following Technoblade.

"That was like- that's in the past! Alright, that was a different Technoblade. Im a changed man now! Im in retirement! Im a good person now Tubbo!" Technoblade dragged on as Tubbo just hummed in response.

Quackity spoke up. "Technoblade you exploded L'Manburg with fucking withers."

"You literally spawned Withers everywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed.

"Im sorry, Im sorry Technoblade as much as you changed you have to be brought to justice for that." Quackity interrupted Tubbo.

The Butcher Gang tried to speak to Technoblade at the same time, when Technoblade spoke up over them all.

"Listen guys! I've gone through so much effort over the past month to change my violent ways! I've reformed alright? The voices, they demand blood! And I- I have been denying THEM! Ive been fighting back! Please! Please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave."

You guess he has changed, but you knew somewhere in your mind that he wasn't talking about just the Butcher Gang, he was including you too. You were somewhat confident that you wouldn't be attacked or killed, but you were terribly wrong before.

There was back and forth banter between the two of them. Techno had tried to show the gang his bees and tried to make a run for it.

"Techno!"

"Hey!"

"He's running!"

The gang started running towards him, but instead of continuing he stopped and turned to them. You were trailing behind trying to catch up to them, you kept running after them. You were not equipped for this night, you didn't know Ghostbur was going to bring you out in the open cold. You could hear Ghostbur behind you as you continued to run towards them.

"Y/N you're gonna damage yourself!" Ghostbur's voice became more echoed and further away as you tried to get closer to the gang before they got killed.

"There's no other way."

"Tubbo dont be stupid!" You were right behind the Butcher Gang.

"There's no other way!"

Fuck

"I CHOSE BLOOD!"

A cloud of smoke enveloped the 6 of you and you suddenly could see. You could only see the glint of everyone's armor.

"Y/N get behind us!" Tubbo tried to blocked you off from reaching Technoblade.

"Why didn't you bring any armor?!" Quackity yelled.

"I didn't think i was gonna be fucking out here!"

Technoblade must've set off multiple smoke bombs because the smoke wouldn't stop, the smoke made you woozy, but the others didnt seemed phased by it at all and kept fighting Technoblade. Your lungs felt full, and you felt like passing out, but you wouldn't allow yourself to do so.

"Tubbo stop this!" You yelled out when the smoke cleared a little.

"No! He needs to pay!" He said while fighting with Fundy.

The air was still hazy and you lost sight of people occasionally. Whipping your head around you were met with what felt like the butt of a axe. You quickly saw a split second of a shiny axe and then a pain in your chest spiked up. You double back and tried to recover, but then you've been sliced in the thigh and a deep cut in your side taking you down to the ground. You were bleeding out and desperately trying to heal the wound in your side. You felt your consciousness slowly slip from you as you laid on the snow. The warm contrast of your blood compared to the cold snow was sad. You always get hurt, no matter what you do. It's inevitable, and you finally gotten used to it.

The last thing you heard was yelling, but it slowly faded out.

You were warm, and not in the middle of nowhere anymore. You opened your eyes to see yourself staring at a polished wood ceiling, the soft pillows and blankets around you made everything feel so much better. Your whole body hurts, you dont want to move nor do you want to remember. Thank goodness that someone had patched you up, you didn't want to die. You tried shifting your body but the pain in your side was denying any movement.

"Oh! You're awake thank God!" A voice called out from your side. You looked over to see the half human hafl enderman sitting in a chair by a window. "I thought you weren't gonna wake up! Tubbo and the rest if the cabinet was worried as well."

"Were you the one who patched me up?" You asked carefully.

"Yeah! Luckily I can see in that fog, so I took you away and patched you up." Ranboo smiled.

"Who- who hit me?" You asked trying to sit up again.

Ranboo paused. "Technoblade." Ranboo said in a somber tone.

"I see." You sighed.

Ranboo helped you sit back on the headboard of the bed and you two continued to talk.

"Are you mad at him?"

"Im just upset. Its okay, he said he'll kill all of us so I knew he would." You kept your gaze at you lap.

"Yeah I get it." Ranboo replied.

"I have a question ranboo!" You perked up.

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Why did you join the Butcher Gang?" You asked the taller man. He stayed silent thinking of a right answer before actually speaking.

"They were nice to me. I trust people who are nice to me, that show me kindness and treat me with respect. I know its lame, my answer isn't fully fleshed out, but that's the reason." Ranboo shrugged and you nodded.

You would love to know Ranboo more, he seems like a great guy, but he's just lost.

"Oh! I forgot! You have a letter!" Ranboo walked around the bed and brought out a folded piece of paper and handed it to you.

You unfolded it and began to read.

𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶

- 𝘋

"Execution site?" You looked towards Ranboo.

"Oh yeah! Technoblade's execution is today an-"

"How the hell did you get him?!" You interrupted him. "Im sorry."

Ranboo looked shocked before composing himself. "Dont worry! Well, we took his horse hostage and he immediately wanted to surrender if we didn't let Carl go." Ranboo gathered stuff around the room. "And the execution is today, happening in a few minutes and I need to be there. I'll be back soon to check up on you!"

You nodded and continued to listen to him.

"Are- are you coming?" Ranboo sent one last glance towards you before making his way out.

"You know you dont HAVE to go." You said trying to ease the tension.

"I know. I really do know." He sighed. "Are you sure you dont want to?"

"No, Im okay." You sent him a smile.

You had lied again. Of course you didn't want to see Technoblade get killed, but that note that was left made you go to the cave. You trudged you way up to said cave, even though the pain in your side was unbearable you continued on. Once you had gotton up to the cave, you peaked inside cautiously. You saw a man in a cloak with a familiar mask on with Technoblade's horse. You knew it was Dream.

"Hello."

"Hello Dream."

"I will cut right to the chase. Take Carl and wait here. I have other work to do." He handed you the reigns to Carl and started to leave.

"Excuse me!? What do I do? Why do I wait here?!" You yelled after him and he just waved you off.

You rolled your eyes and found a stone in the cave to rest against with Carl's reigns lazily in your hands.

You didnt know what time it was, but the sun was slowly going down, it wasn't particularly sunset, but you knew it was late. Your eyes began to close until your heard screaming in the distance. You sat up slowly, now fully alert. You held Carl's reigns tighter as you backed into the cave more and more.

Footsteps were heard in the distance coming up to the cave and you thought if Dream had set you up for failure. The footsteps grew louder until a panting Technoblade appeared at the entrance at the cave. He looked horrible, he was thinking the same thing about you.

You two exchanged no words. You didn't want to say anything, what would you even say? He rushed over to Carl and started petting him. "Carl you're okay!"

You hummed as you and Techno shared a glance. He smiled at you. He smiled at you. It's been so long since you've seen him smile. He didn't need words to communicate, his eyes and smile said enough. You matched his smile and gave him a knowing nod and he did the same.

"Feel better eh?" Technoblade started conversation.

"Not really. What about you?"

"Eh- used a totem of undying just now."

"What?! Really?" You exclaimed. "I guess that's why you're here now huh?"

"Yeah I'll tell you about it sometimes." He smiled and climbed atop of his horse and you could see him thinking. "Im sorry too. You almost died cause of me. Thats is unacceptable, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have attacked you. I couldn't-"

"You cant control it. It's gonna take me awhile to recover, but..." You touched your bandaged cut. "It'll take me some time."

Technoblade nodded knowing what you meant. He could always read your mind somehow, thats what made you two work. Knowing eachother. He sent you one last silent goodbye before riding out of the cave. You knew that trust was somewhat restored, and that you two were better than before. This might be a new beginning.

A very angry Quackity came running around the corner of the cave and spotted you leaving. He whipped his head around to you.

"Hey! Where the fuck is Techno?!" He yelled at you.

"I don't know-"

"Dont bullshit me!"

"I. Don't. Know." You said more sternly. He gave you a hard glare before running away.

You went the opposite way trying to make it back to the room you woke up in before Ranboo came back.

Earlier you were desperately trying to befriend Techno, but things come more naturally you learned. You cant rush things, nor control this world. Things will fall into place, your and Technoblade's friendship will blossom again.

You will never find peace, but that's okay. You should be used to it by now. Everything is chaotic, but everything will be okay.

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Text

OBEY ME! LESSON 60 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

Welp this is it… DAMNNNNNN the last two seasons each had a lesson near the beginning of the season dedicated just to a date with Mammon and I’m praying S4 has one as well and though it sucks Mammon & MC’s hellos and goodbyes are always really sweet and ahhh how am I already missing them. I’m desperate for S4 and I haven’t even finished S3 yet… fuck okay.

Post Lesson 60 edit: The last chapter goodbyes are gonna be direct quotes cause I’m an emotional mess.

As MC is about to head outside Mammon calls out to them and tells them to bring him a cake on the way home, they ask him why he’s been so cold and distant with them lately and he frowns at them and says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about and tells them not to forget the cake and then he leaves. Asmo who had being eavesdropping laughs and says that even for Mammon that was oddly bossy and arrogant. He then asks if he can tag along with them partway cause he’s heading to the spa. As they walk past the lake Asmo tells MC not to hold Mammon’s recent attitude against him and that he’s so upset about having to leave MC again that he doesn’t know what to do with himself and since rn all he can think about is MC he’s not sure how to act around them. Asmo says Mammon’s spending too much time dwelling on this. He looks disappointed and shakes his head when he asks himself what he’s gonna do about Mammon and that he’s being a child. (IS2G Asmo is the number #1 Mammon x MC shipper???????? Relatable) MC asks him if he hasn’t been dwelling on leaving. He asks if they wish he was and says they’re always on his mind and that’s why he doesn’t seem any different now. He says the actual reason he’s still so himself and not outwardly upset is cause he has faith (HA!) that they’ll end back together again like all the previous times they had to separate. He says he’s still sad about having to say goodbye but all that makes him want to do is treasure the moments they have rn. They can hold his hand, kiss him or say that’s a really Asmo thing if him to say. He smiles and says positivity is one of his charms (Asmo ily but weren’t you the one who got drunk and cried and needed to have Satan carry you back home the first time MC left…) They eventually part ways. I’m guessing the order of the rest of the ‘goodbyes’ is gonna be Satan, Mammon and then Lucifer cause those two always end up last in that order…

EYYYYY! They run into satan and ask where he’s off to. He says he’s off to the bookstore to stock on some human books before they head home and asks MC if they want to tag along. He hands them a list and tells them to start looking from the top and that he’ll start from the bottom. He says thwy can use magic as long as no human sees them (ME: thinking back to that one human MC, Belphie and Diavolo scared the shit out of…Hmmmm). They agree and he says that knowing they studied under Solomon makes him feel safe to trust that they know what they’re doing. He says he always knows he can count on them when he needs them and that being in the Devildom without them will be troublesome (I said in the fairy dust/angel lesson that Satan & MC are incredibly similar and that their friendship is highly underrated and I still stand by that.) MC uses magic to lift a book from a high shelf and Satan warns them that someone’s coming making them loose their concentration and the book to come falling down, Satan shields them though and gets hit with it instead. They each ask if the other is alright and he says they need to be more careful that no one sees them (ME: INTENSELY THINKING BACK TO THAT TIME WITH DIAVOLO AND BELPHIE WHEN MC WAS WILLING TO BARBEQUE A MAN FOR FIRING A GUN AT BELPHIE) He blushes and tells them he’ll show what he means and he takes them behind a bookshelf where no one can see and wraps his arms around them and pulls them close (Satan what kinda romance novel pickup line was that??? Also all I can imagine is that SNL bookstore skit with John Cena & Aidy Bryant). MC can kiss him, wrap their arms around him or just thank him for shielding them earlier. He says there’s no need to thank him and that he’s just happy they’re not hurt, He then laughs softly and asks if they’ll be okay once he’s gone. They ask him in turn if he’ll be okay. He blushes and says he won’t and that just thinking about life without them was enough to drive him mad.

At dinner levi asks if everyone is there and Beel looks sad and says Mammon isn’t, Belphie sighs and says he always has to make things difficult. Levi says it’s okay and he gets it and that Mammon obviously thinks dinner’s gonna suck since Levi made it and holy shit can we pls take Levi to a therapist pls? Belphie says Levi’s beating himself up for no reason and Levi goes on a rant about how he’s an ultra-negative, depressing otaku and how no one likes being around him ajndsvddjsnk LEVI pls!!? (unrelated but Levi’s actually my third favourite) Belphie asks MC to go get Mammon and Beel tells them to hurry. They knock and enter his room. They ask him what he’s doing and he says he was just watching a shark movie Satan gave him. He asks if they’re here to tell him about dinner and that they should head back and eat and not to worry about him. He looks upset and says he’s not in the mood to eat. They say they’re really gonna miss him and he’s eyes widen for a sec before he looks away and asks if they’re some sorta kid. He then laughs though and says they’re not the only one who feels that way. He blushes and says of course he’s gonna miss them too and that they already knew that. He asks if there isn’t some other way for them to stay together forever. He says that being a sorcerer they have to make something happen. They can say a.) that despite being a sorcerer they’re still pretty green and he laughs and says the one time he needs them they’re no use at all. He blushes and tells them to hurry up and ‘ripen’ and that a green sorcerer won’t cut it. B.) being a demon he should make something happen. He says if there was something he could do he woulda done it a long time ago. Looking aside again he says hanging out with them and talking about dumb stuff is something he takes for granted and he just realized he won’t be able to do it again anytime soon, he says that once he’s back in the devildom life would be dull and that once he used to be happy as long as he had money but after they met that was ruined. And now during his free time he thinks about them and feels all worried and unsettled. He blushes and asks them to stay with him and keep him company since all this is their fault. Belphie texts them asking where the fuck they are they say they’ll have dinner with Mammon later, he then wishes them luck with Mammon.

In the music room Levi’s bemoaning how he understands that any coffee he makes won’t be good enough while a wide eyed Asmo asks him what he’s talking about cause as you can see Asmo is drinking his coffee, Levi says he never admitted it was good though. Asmo smiles and reassures him that it’s actually good and asks Belphie to back him up. Belphie says he wants no part of any of this which immediately crumbles all of Asmo’s hard work and makes Levi depressed. Lucifer pops his head in and once he spots MC asks them to come to his room. They ask what he wants to talk about, he says he’ll tell them when he gets there. To the room as a whole he says that Diavolo wants them all at the hotel the next day. This surprises both Mammon & Beel, and Satan asks if there’s another problem at the hotel, making everyone turn and eye Levi who turns red and protests. In his room Lucifer asks if MC knows why he called them and they say nope. He asks if they really don’t know or if they’re just playing dumb. When they don’t answer he says it’s about why Diavolo called them to the hotel. He says Diavolo hasn’t told him the reason behind it and asks if MC knows, saying that for Diavolo not to tell him it has to be either something that’ll supremely piss off Lucifer or something that Diavolo finds fun and exciting that Lucifer won’t like but will have to endure. They say they don’t know anything about it. He says, “what do you think you can lie to me? Have you forgotten who the fuck I am exactly!?” When they still remain silent he drops the blank faced glare and laughs saying he can take a guess at what’s going on considering they’re not willing to share. He says considering this is them they’re probably gonna do something nice for them and he tells them they’re really sweet, they tell him not to stop and to keep stroking their ego (or they can ask for a reward). He says he may considering how things go tomorrow. He then pauses and says he’s actually in the mood to indulge them today so he’ll sing their praises just for today. (They can ask if he’s sad about saying goodbye, he says yes and then blushes and says obviously that means they’re spending the night in his room – I noped out at this point. Is it weird that Lucifer’s the only brother I can’t see MC platonically sharing a bed with?) They then tease him saying this is very unlike him. He blushes and agrees, saying that when he’s with them he doesn’t have to be the avatar of pride but that’s okay because they love all the different sides of him (I thought this was really sweet, Lucifer needs to know that there’s someone who loves him as a whole even the parts of him that are massive jerks and I love that this interaction can be read as either romantic or platonic. He smiles and says he’s looking forward for tomorrow.

The brothers are all surprised when from the hotel they are taken to the currently most popular club in the human world that has been reserved all for them, with Simeon making all the food and Luke making cakes. Luke tries his best to protect the food from Beel while Satan and Mammon say how surprise they were by Barbatos’s magic making them walk out into the club after walking into the hotel. MC asks if they like it and Lucifer says of course they do and thanks them for doing this. Solomon says he has a present for all of them too, Levi worries that he cooked for them (though he asks it with the sweetest smile cause all these demons are still hanging on to not letting Solomon know his food is toxic waste in case it hurts his feelings) and Lucifer whispers to MC that if so they might all die here. Solomon says he had offered to help cook but Simeon had insisted he had it all handled (he looks awfully disappointed when saying this). Mammon cheers on Simeon and Belphie says “…yeah I never thought I’d owe my life to Simeon but here we are” Their real present is Solomon lighting up the room with what, according to Belphie, looks like a fallen star. Asmo gushes about how beautiful it is. Beel asks if he can eat it. Levi laughs and tells him he better not. Diavolo says they should officially start the party and everyone cheers. In a side lounge area Simeon says seeing the brothers enjoying the party so much makes all the effort feel worth it, Barbatos says he’s just happy seeing Diavolo having so much fun and he thanks MC. They say they could never have done it without their help in the first place. Simeon says it was MC to got them all working together to make this happen in the first place. Levi then arrives to come drag MC towards the karaoke (which Diavolo insisted they have – poor man’s still trying to sing a duet with Lucifer I see)

Satan and Asmo complain about Levi hogging the mic and singing anime songs, he yells at them for not understanding the raw passion and energy of anime songs (which isn’t that true? Anime songs have a unique kinda passion that makes you hyped that I’ve never being able to find in other songs..). Levi tells MC to forget about them and MC asks to sing a duet. Levi says he’ll queue up a bunch of duets and Mammon yells at Levi for hogging the mic and using this as an opportunity to hit on MC. Levi laughs and says that he’s not swooping in and doing anything the way Mammon said and that MC wants to sing with him. Mammon then blushes and demands to sing the next duet with them from MC. Asmo then calls the one after that and Mammon asks Beel & Belphie what they’re doing. They’re mixing drinks. MC says there new drink (demonous with scorpion powder and something else) sounds really good (cause they’re a freak like that) Belphie says the flavours do seem to go surprisingly well together and he asks Mammon to try some. He protests saying they just want to use him as a guinea pig. Lucifer’s drawn to the commotion and says they all seem to be fun, Levi asks if he wants to sing next and he says later, he then thanks MC for planning a fun surprise for them and that they were able to create some nice final memories in the human world before heading home. MC says they’ll share more great times together and Lucifer laughs and agrees saying this won’t be the last time they’re all together and this is just one of many happy memories they’ll share in the future. When they go back to the lounge area Solomon says they could hear them all talking, singing and laughing all the way from over here despite the music, emphasizing that they could hear Levi the most. Diavolo asks them to come sit and pours them another drink and says they were all talking about them and how they helped them enjoy their time in the human realm. He thanks them from the bottom of his heart. Solomon says last time they were all together in the Devildom and this time it was in the human realm and asks where they should be together next. Luke is surprised he’s already thinking about the next time. He laughs and says it’s cause he can barely wait for the next time they are all together. MC can suggest one of the three worlds. (personally I chose the Devildom cause the brothers aren’t allowed in the Celestial Realm and as much as I am completely in love with Mammon’s human world look I miss the aesthetic of the Devildom.) Diavolo laughs and says he’s happy they’ve taken such a liking to the Devildom and that he’d love for them to come back and that the brothers will be thrilled too. From the distance and getting closer they hear Lucifer telling his brothers to quit pushing him. Mammon tells him to just hurry up and go inside. Levi says Lucifer has to be with them or they won’t be taken seriously. Lucifer groans and asks if they’re actually planning on saying “this to him”. “Of course.” Says Satan. Belphie says it’s at least worth asking. Asmo agrees saying anything’s possible if you put your mind to it. They all tumble into the lounge area and Solomon asks what brings them all here. Lucifer looking tired says that his brothers have something to ask Diavolo. Mammon tells Lucifer not to act as if he isn’t part of this and as if it hasn’t been on his mind too. Diavolo chuckles and asks what they want to ask. Beel says they’ve all been thinking about something for a while now and they want to discuss it with him. The brothers all together yell: “We want MC to join the family!” GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!? Not me softly sobbing at the image this makes in my head ahhhhhhh!??????? AHHHHHH!?????????? MC’s shocked and speechless. Asjvfkjffvuiefhi pls don’t give me hope like this wtf and what do they mean by join the family cause I don’t mind Lucifer more or less adopting them, and like Beel said they already seem to be a part of the family but MC brought up proposals with A LOT of the brothers so is that what they mean? Like marriage??? But they’re all asking and other than Beel & Belphie wanting to share with each other and Asmo being open to threesomes none of them want to share MC so……. Also I do not see my OM! MC getting married at all but at the same time if it was to squirrel their way into a permanent position in the family then…

Diavolo’s wide-eyed and stunned silent, and then he asks “…huh!?” Solomon bursts out laughing. Luke is red faced and tells Solomon this is no time to laugh. Solomon still laughing chokes out that he’s never seen Diavolo so stunned. Luke pauses and then asks what exactly they mean by ‘join the family’ and then he turns red and demands if they mean marrying MC. The brothers obviously haven’t really thought about what ‘join the family’ means and only now realise it can imply marriage. Asmo immediately volunteers. Mammon red faced protests to MC marrying Asmo and then stuttering says that if they’re gonna marry anyone they should marry him (he screams the last part out after struggling through the first part). Levi gets pissed saying if MC marries a scumbag like Mammon they’d have a dark, terrible future (watch me put together a 200 slide presentation refuting this) Belphie tells Asmo and Mammon to back off before they mess things up. Lucifer, looking dead tired, says it’s already a mess. Diavolo goes, “Umm…Lucifer?” and asks him to explain what’s going on. He says the others want MC around on a permanent basis so they don’t have to say goodbye ever and they put their heads together and decided on this. “Marriage!?” goes Luke. Solomon says the demons hadn’t thought how they’d make them part of the family. Lucifer tells Satan that he can look at the others like they’re a band of idiots but to leave him outta it. Solomon asks MC what they think of all this and they say they want to be part of the family too (it’s implied through out the main storyline that generally MC’s someone who’s very calm and collected and who while being incredibly blunt doesn’t express their emotions outwardly much (at the beginning of S2 Lucifer even comments on them being more expressive than before they left) but I’d like to imagine at this moment they are wet eyed and beaming because of these loveable idiots who ARE their family even if it’s not official). Diavolo smiles and says he sees. Luke has problems with humans and demons mixing and being a family (LUKE I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS!?) “Yes, Luke. I know…” says Diavolo. His face then becomes serious and he’s silent and contemplative. Diavolo looks at MC and says that though they aren’t aware of it there’s still bad blood amongst the three worlds and that no matter how much they all want to be a family and stay together it’s not within his power to let that happen. He looks upset and apologizes. Lucifer is silent. He says though that his goal is to one day remove these barriers between the worlds and that he’ll do everything in his power to make that happen, and as the future demon king he promises that one day he’ll make it so that they can marry anyone in this room (I’m screaming just MC – queer as hell and with they/them pronouns waiting in the human world for marriage to get legalized only to fall in love with someone from another world and having to wait AGAIN for marriage to be legalized… I’d have lost my entire shit.) “WELL, isn’t that good for you, you apprentice poaching motherfuckers but guess what I’m a human meaning WE can get married in the meantime… CHECKMATE, BITCHES~” says Solomon. Mammon actually snaps at Solomon and calls him a “son of a –“ before he remembers the child in the room and trails off and snaps at him not to say stuff like that. Belphie asks if Solomon can even be classified as a human given his age. (Can MC even be classified as fully human given the whole Lilith situation? I mean ik Lilith was reincarnated as a human but she still kept and passed on her supernatural magic. Plus there’s a Belphie devilgram that takes places pre S1 that implies MC’s not fully human plus that whole thing about fairy hallucination angel!Lucifer not taking MC’s word for it when they said they were human… it’s very likely though everyone here’s too dumb to realise it). Satan says at this point Solomon might as well be a demon. Asmo tells him not to pretend to be a human when it’s convenient. He laughs and says that even though he can’t grow old or die he still belongs to the human race. Beel says that maybe but Solomon isn’t playing fair, Levi agrees and says Solomon’s also making him jealous. Diavolo says MC sure is popular seeing as they are all fighting over them. Lucifer says he knew this would happen and that’s why he didn’t want them to have this discussion. Luke’s shocked that MC’s got demons and the world’s greatest sorcerer wrapped around their finger, MC asks him if he sees them in a new light now. Luke says he thinks it’s impressive but it also creeps him out.

Back near the dance floor, Satan laughs and says Beel’s eating too much, Beel says Satan’s drinking too much, Satan who actually seems tipsy says he’s nowhere near his limit and challenges Beel to a competition to see who reaches their drink/food limit first, Beel agrees. Given how much beel can eat I can only assume this is the last we see of Satan RIP. Barbatos, looking uncharacteristically extremely worried, tells them to slow down cause neither of them know to stop. Levi, finishing up his song, calls for Luke who booked next but Mammon says Simeon went to put the “little guy” to sleep and asks Levi to come play cards instead. Lucifer, who’s playing with Mammon, asks if he hasn’t lost enough at this point, Mammon turns red and says this time he’s gonna win it all back. Asmo laughs and says Mammon just jinxed himself. Belphie asks why MC’s looking around the room so restlessly and they can say A.) I don’t see Diavolo anywhere B.) where’s Solomon? Either way the answer is he has no idea where Solomon went but he did see Diavolo head out earlier. He says the two of them are probably together talking. MC finds Diavolo and asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted a break and to gaze at the city lights and sober up a little since he won’t be able to see them again for awhile. He asks them to sit next to him and then laughs and says he could barely believe his ears after he heard what the brothers asked. He says he’s known the seven of them for a long time and knows how close they are and that it’s unbelievable that they’d want to include someone new to the family (MY HEART!? ALSO FOUND FAMILY TROPE!) He says it almost makes him jealous. They say that they know for a fact that he’s very important to the brothers too. He’s like “thanks for saying that but rn you’re either playing dumb or you actually are this dumb which makes me question my taste but then again I’m also in love with Lucifer so…” and he says he’s jealous of the brothers not them (Sure, Jan. We know you’re jealous of them both don’t lie). He says he feels the same as them and blushes and says he keeps thinking about how it could be if they were together forever (Sir, pls Lucifer is right there. He’s available. Pls.) He says if their relationship was on that level and if their bond was deep and permanent like those of a family he can’t even imagine how amazing that’d be (he keeps repeating ‘family’ and the brothers weren’t even thinking marriage when they asked for MC to be part of their family and Diavolo was really shocked and he now said specifically it was them asking about being ‘family’ before Luke even first mentioned marriage that made Diavolo jealous. What I’m saying is that considering Diavolo’s lonely, strict childhood the one thing he wants more than anything is a family not marriage specifically). He smiles and says they beat him to the punch and that he asks them to give him time cause he’s gonna do everything he can to mend the bridges between the three worlds for MC and for the brothers…and a little bit for himself. He gives them his word.

Out on the balcony Solomon greets them and asks if they shouldn’t be down with the others, they say they needed a break and wanted to talk to him, he wonders if the others would be pissed if they knew Solomon had MC all to himself. He says he figured he’d stay out of the way today and let MC and the demons spend time together considering he’ll have enough time to hang out with them later. He says he can’t believe they asked MC to join the family and that he didn’t see that coming. He starts laughing again about how serious they looked and how shocked Diavolo looked, and how Lucifer looked like he had a migraine (Ik we all say Lucifer’s the sadist but have we considered…) MC asks if he really thinks it’s that funny (and I’m pretty sure they’re offended on the brothers’ behalf and hurt cause that’s what they want too.) Solomon says for him it’s funny. He says it’s common of a demon to ask for a business arrangement or a pact but he’s never heard of them asking humans to join their family. He smiles and says he’s beginning to think he chose a “truly incredible” human as his apprentice. MC asks what the demons in his life are to him, he gives it serious thought and said these days he sees them as close friends. MC asks if things were different earlier and he says they were but also asks that they not get into things rn cause the story is long and tedious, MC asks if he’s just trying to avoid their question and if he’s gonna tell them the truth or not. He laughs and says nope and that though you can’t tell it by looking at him he’s a little too tipsy. He reminds them that they’re barely a sorcerer rn and that they should leave questions like that for later until they can use “magic like this” without an incantation. He uses magic to teleport the others on to the balcony (what a snake. Imagine instead of going to a crowd to escape a conversation you use your magic to bring the crowd to you to avoid a conversation AND to set a line for MC to reach before they can start poking at his past.) Asmo says he’s being wondering where the two of them went and how naughty it was to sneak off together, Levi complains about being cut halfway through a song, Beel asks MC to judge his eating competition with Satan and Satan says it’s actually a drinking competition. Barbatos looking deeply concerned asks if the two of them intend to empty the hotel’s pantry AND its wine cellar. He asks MC to stop them. Lucifer’s goading Mammon and kicking his ass in a card game and Mammon refuses to give up (HC that Lucifer taught Mammon to play cards up in the Celestial Realm as a way to get him to sit still and NOT set the drapes on fire). Belphie comments on the card game and the party continues. (Pretty sure Solomon saw the demons as pawns or tools to get what he wants/ for more power and that he was much more ruthless with making pacts with them than he is now when he pesters Lucifer (aka getting Asmo drunk while he was upset and making a pact) the question is why? And why did Michael basically sponsor this? We know that the Celestial Realm and Devildom had just called a truce when Michael took an interest in Solomon so could it be that he wanted someone to keep an eye on the demons and the best way to do that was to have a powerful human sorcerer make as many pacts with demons as possible. I mean Solomon made a pact with Asmo mostly because he was Lucifer’s brother and Michael still has a heavy interest in the brothers so it could be possible that he wanted Solomon to make a pact with one of them so that he could see what they were doing?)

LAST ONE GUYS! :) I’m okay really :)))))))) Outside the manor in the morning, Barbatos tells Diavolo it’s time and Diavolo looking really sad agrees. (RIGHT OFF THE BAT HUH!?) Even Solomon seems upset when he realizes it’s time and then that damn song starts playing, that ending song that always chokes me up and this time it doesn’t feel as sad as last season because honestly the “Till we meet again” party really helped while last season all the brothers tried to run away with MC and that shit HURT but it still makes me choked up FUCK I want them back so badly. Diavolo comes up to MC and says they have to return and that though they weren’t here for a long time it was really fun. “So, till we meet again, MC” he ends with. Barbatos thanks them for all they did to make their stay in the human world more comfortable. He says next time they meet he’ll prepare a special tea for them that he’s sure they’ll like. From here we’re going to direct quotes because I am EMOTIONAL:

Mammon says, while not meeting their eyes: …Listen, why’re you sittin’ around twiddling your thumbs, huh? I saw how hard you worked to become a sorcerer, so I know you got it in ya. (He blushes, still not meeting their eyes) Hurry up and learn summoning magic ASAP! You big dummy… (he finally looks up at them and smiles) And once you learn it, you’d better summon ME first! All right? You promise, right? (MC can either hug or kiss him….AND YOU GUYS MUST KNOW ME BY NOW SO MC just kisses him in front of all the brothers just like that????????? – he blushes and looks away again) Dammit, now I wanna take you back to the Devildom with me… (He meets their eyes one more time, face still red)

Levi says, blushing and looking aside: …You know that game we were playing? Final Devil Kingdom… (He looks up at them, still blushing) Well, I’ve decided not to make any more progress in it until I see you next. (He smiles brightly then) So we need to get together and play it again as soon as possible, okay? I mean, I’m dying to move on to the next dungeon… (He looks up at them with a sad expression then and they can either hug or kiss him and look I love Levi but I’ve already made my choice so MC hugs him – he blushes and gets a determined expression on his face) I’m going to be messaging you a lot, okay? So… don’t ignore my texts, or I’ll cry. (He smiles at them one more time)

Satan says, looking confident and meeting their eyes: …There are several cats who come by the manor for food each day. Make sure to take care of them for me. If you’re on the job, I feel like I can rest easy knowing they’ll be okay. (He frowns, blushes and looks away then) But keep in touch. Let me know how the cats are doing every day. Got it? Every day. (They hug him and he laughs and then says with a smile) Knowledge is power. The more you have, the better off you’ll be. So study hard, and learn to stand on your own two feet as a sorcerer as soon as you can.

Asmo says, looking really upset but making eye contact: No matter how I dress myself up or how cute I make my nails and makeup, if I can’t show it to the one I love the most, it won’t be fun at all. (He smiles then) So, I’ve decided to think about it this way… I have to strive to make myself more and more beautiful with each passing day! 🤍 (He smiles even more brightly) So that one day you’ll fall for me completely and then you’ll be all mine! How does that sound? (MC hugs him and he giggles, and says smiling) I’m going to put a little something extra on my hug! 🤍 (he squeezes them closer)

Beel says with a soft smile looking in at them: …It was fun getting to eat together with you every day here human world, MC. (His smile brightens) You know, when you’re with the right person, good food has a way of tasting even better. I want to be able to eat with you all the time, every single day. I want that to be normal. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make it so that someday soon, it really will be like that. (MC hugs him and he blushes and smiles and says) Make sure you eat enough, okay? Take care of yourself.

Belphie says also with a soft smile, making eye contact: I’m glad I got this chance to live here in the human world. Spending each day together with you in your world has been incredibly fun. (He looks sad and looks to the side) …Having to go to sleep every night in a house without you in it from now on is going to be really sad, and really lonely. (MC hugs them and he blushes but his expression is still sad and he doesn’t make eye contact) Take care, MC…

Lucifer’s wearing that fond smile that makes his eyes squint shut and he says: …Never did I imagine that one day, I’d find it this hard to say goodbye to you. I’ve managed to shock even myself. (He looks up at them then) Once I’m back in the Devildom, where I can’t see you anymore, this feeling is probably going to grow even worse. I hope this is every bit as difficult for you as it is for me. (MC hugs him) …Let’s make sure we see each other again sooner rather than later. (He gives that soft fond smile again)

Barbatos opens the portal. Solomon tells them all to take care. There’s a flash of bright light and the opening song starts playing. “MC!” Yells Mammon with a bright smile before he jumps in. “Toodles!” Says a beaming, waving Asmo. “Till next time!” says Levi with a small smile. “Take care of yourself!” Says a brightly smiling Belphie. “Bye…” Says Beel with a smile. “See you around.” Says Satan with a smile. “See you next time.” Says Lucifer with a nod of his head and a smile. “Goodybe, MC.” Says Diavolo with a bright smile. There’s another flash and the portal’s closed and they’re all gone. The credits play thanking all the main and side character VAs over human world backgrounds and YOU! Back in front of the manor Solomon says it suddenly got so quiet that he feels lonely. MC’s silent and doesn’t answer him. “Hey,” he says after a bit, “didn’t they officially hire you as their “babysitter” because you came here looking for a job, you know that thing you need to be able to survive independent adult life in the human world… Did they ever pay you for that?” “…SON OF A B–” At the angel’s halo Simeon tells a sad, silent Luke that the others must have gone back home by now, Luke quietly agrees. Simeon laughs and asks if that bothers Luke. Luke blushes, stutters and denies it. Luke tries to change the topic by telling Simeon to hurry up and grind some coffee cause they’re about to open. Simeon says they still have enough time and Luke says he’s gonna take out the trash and runs out back to avoid his feelings and this conversation. Simeon laughs. The door opens and Simeon turns to tell them they’re not opened yet but trails off. ??? says, “I can see that, yes…” Simeon’s eyes widen and his mouth turns down, he’s too shocked to say anything. ??? says, “Well, look at you. I could almost believe you really are a human, brother…” Simeon’s entire face goes blank and settles on a cold emotionless expression though he still doesn’t reply before he slowly smiles, “…Welcome. So glad you could stop by, Raphael.” And the chapter, the lesson and the season is over. So…SO…you know I don’t even have words really. I’m not, we really are getting new characters aren’t we. I mean I said in some of the earlier summaries that at this point with the way they were hyping up the angels in this season that it only makes sense to bring them in BUT I never 100% believed they would and now I’m just???? They really are gonna do it holy fuck GUYS!? I need S4 badly like rn immediately but given that the break between S2 and S3 was really small AND that they maybe introducing at least 2 new characters the break between S3 and S4 might be longer AND I get it y’know but still I desperately need this now. Holy shit. And Simeon’s facial expressions! How he looked surprised and upset and then how his face just shut down (something we rarely or never? See from him) and then how it smoothed out into a smile ajsdvbkdwhskcjksk Raphael’s way of speaking fit exactly with what I imagined after what Asmo, Lucifer and Belphie said about him. This kinda formal, authoritative, cold, distant way. And the tension between him and Simeon!? “BROTHER!????” Does he mean brother in the same way as the Sins do or is it more brother in arms the way I see Lucifer and Simeon being in the Celestial Realm? It felt cold compared to them. Pls give me a heavily dysfunctional, distant and cold angel family to contrast with the dysfunctional but close and loving demon family I WILL SCREAM. I’ve screamed all my angel and celestial realm theories in the previous summaries (there are a lot) so I’m not gonna go into detail about them here but I will say I’m keeping my fingers crossed for morally dubious/grey angels who believe they are completely in the right at all times and I’m deeply scared of getting at least part of S4 without the brothers as we are introduced to the angels – I mean don’t get me wrong I’d love if they took time to introduce us to the angels without the brothers’ dynamics with them being involved and to give us a chance to hear their side of the story before they have the whole reunion between everyone BUT I’ll also feel the heavy withdrawal effects of being deprived of the brothers so yeah. Overall the goodbye to the brothers felt far more uplifting than last season’s one given that they ended with the upbeat opening song and not the melancholic sounding ending song. WOW okay. I’m gonna try and get through the hard lessons and unlock the chapters I couldn’t since S2. SEE YOU NEXT SEASON! LOVE AK 🤍

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gusu-emilu · 3 years

Text

Ship: Wei Wuxian / Wen Ning

Summary: Wei Wuxian gives Wen Ning a heartbeat, but not in the way either of them expected.

Rated T, No Warnings Apply

POV Wen Ning, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, references to WWX's poor health, First Kiss, Pining, Cuddling, Presumably Unrequited Love, or more accurately: whatever these two have going on, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, and the inherent homoeroticism of necromancy

Ch. 1/2, 6k, read on AO3 above or on Tumblr below

Wen Ning has always known that Wei Wuxian is not someone to hesitate.

The moment Wen Ning enters the Demon Subdue Palace after packing up the last sack of turnips, Wei Wuxian grabs his wrist.

“Come look!” He tugs Wen Ning deeper into the cave, slender fingers wrapped around Wen Ning’s wrist. He grins at Wen Ning over his shoulder. “I’ve made some more demonic devices, probably my best batch yet. I’d like to see the impersonators down in the town copy these!”

Wen Ning steadies his balance, not fully recovered from Wei Wuxian suddenly whisking him away.

Wei Wuxian has never hesitated to touch him. Wen Ning still isn’t quite used to it, having grown up in a family of doctors whose every touch felt calculated, and among clansmen more focused on war and strength than friendship. Clansmen who rarely respected him, never mind showed him affection.

Even now, he exists in a constant state of volatility due to his outbursts of resentful energy. Every family member in the Burial Mounds is careful around him, even A-Yuan at times.

But not Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian is entirely different. Has always been different.

The first time they spoke, Wei Wuxian had already been comfortable with casual touch. Wei Wuxian hadn’t hesitated to lay hands on him to adjust his archery posture—steady hands he can still imagine on his upper arm and around the side of his ribs, friendly pressure like a heavy quilt, as Wei Wuxian comforted and praised him.

Then the war began, and Wei Wuxian choked him in Lotus Pier—furious, merciless hands like paws of a frightened animal. Wei Wuxian hadn’t hesitated then, either. He would’ve fully choked Wen Ning had he not held back enough to let him speak.

Then the war ended. Now Wei Wuxian uses him as an armrest, fixes his hair, arranges talismans on him, even once tried to pick him up and carry him as a joke. (He'd been a bit too weak to manage it for long. Wen Ning hadn’t thought that part was funny.) Now he drags Wen Ning around by the hand, all without hesitation.

Had Wei Wuxian hesitated before raising him from the dead?

Wen Ning isn’t sure which answer would comfort him.

“Take a look at this one,” Wei Wuxian says as he places a stone tablet in Wen Ning’s hand. A faint black cloud winds around the tablet, the smoke’s path tracing the red fulu writings carved into its surface. “Still pretty weak, but I’m getting closer to replicating yin iron with just regular stone.”

Wen Ning glances back and forth between the tablet and Wei Wuxian’s tired but enthusiastic smile. His eyes are bright with joy, but dark circles frame them. He hasn’t eaten much in the past few days, instead focusing relentlessly on his experiments, despite needing to save energy to heal the stab wound from Jiang Wanyin.

But Wen Ning still hasn’t figured out how to make him rest. Maybe admiring the new batch of demonic devices will help calm his inventive frenzy.

He nods, giving a small smile at Wei Wuxian. “That’s good.”

“Weak yin iron will be much easier to use. Better for small applications here and there, less dangerous…” Wei Wuxian squats by the scattered piles of demonic cultivation tools and notes, rummaging through to find another invention, the tablet already forgotten.

The black cloud around the tablet continues to swirl, small wisps seeping into Wen Ning’s skin. The tablet feels more like a block of dust than like stone, but despite his dulled senses, he notices…something else. A second sensation.

A throb.

“Wei-gongzi?”

“Yeah?” Wei Wuxian says, squinting at a page of especially messy notes.

“Does…does this have a pulse?” The stone continues to throb weakly, more of a resonance than a physical sensation, its aura cold like resentful energy.

Wei Wuxian looks up from the papers, one eyebrow raised. “It’s still doing that?” He stands and takes the tablet, examines it. “Hm. This might be good! I’ll have to find out what flow pattern of resentful energy caused this.”

Wen Ning closes his hand. Strangely, he wishes for the tablet to still be pulsing against his palm. It had felt kind of pleasant, if disturbing. “Resentful energy can create a heartbeat?”

“Well, it’s not exactly a heartbeat. But yes, if channeled the right way.”

“…Does that mean I have one?” Behind his back to prevent Wei Wuxian from noticing, he presses three fingers to the inside of his wrist, where years ago Jiejie had taught him how to read the flow of his blood. A black vein of resentful energy now covers those lifeless pulse points. “I’ve never felt it.”

Wei Wuxian turns the tablet between his hands thoughtfully. “No…you don’t have a heartbeat.” Then he grins, one of those sly grins that crosses his handsome face slowly, as if an idea has rushed into him so quickly that he needs to pace his smile just to contain it. Wen Ning doesn’t like those grins, because they make something flutter inside him.

“At least, not yet!” Wei Wuxian adds. “Do you want one? I could figure something out—”

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine without one.” The last thing Wei Wuxian needs is another project to stay up all night for—least of all an unnecessary project that Wen Ning requested by accident. Wei Wuxian has done enough for him already.

“I’m serious!” Wei Wuxian says. “It shouldn’t be too hard. I can test it right now.” He trails a finger over the blood-red writing on the tablet and mutters a few words under his breath. The black smoke around it thickens. “Just something temporary, to see if the idea works.” He steps closer.

Nervousness immediately jolts through Wen Ning. It’s unfortunate that death has muted the nerve endings in Wen Ning’s skin but has done nothing to quiet his anxious mind, which is always at both its most overactive and sluggish around Wei Wuxian.

Wen Ning watches the tablet’s red markings begin to glow, watches Wei Wuxian’s expression harden to a chiseled concentration.

“Come here,” Wei Wuxian says.

If Wei Wuxian’s hunch works, Wei Wuxian will ignore his health until he finishes developing the method to give Wen Ning a permanent heartbeat. If it fails, Wei Wuxian will still ignore his health, this time trying until he finds a different method.

It’s best to not let him try. To give him a firm “no.”

But Wen Ning has never been good at those. Especially when it comes to Wei Wuxian.

He has also never been good at lying to Wei Wuxian. Although he must do so for the sake of Wei Wuxian’s health, it’s hard to admit that he doesn’t miss his heartbeat.

He misses many small details of his body. Jiejie had taught him the ways of Dafan Wen medicine, made him attuned to the evidence of life in himself. He knows how fast his heart rate is supposed to be while lying in bed, knows which pressure points she once worked at to calm his anxiety, knows the irregularities of the breaths he no longer takes.

He used to like his heartbeat, his breath, their soothing rhythm as he fell asleep. It was comforting to understand that much about himself, to follow this evidence of life, when in childhood a piece of his soul had been snatched and left the rest of him a puzzle.

Now the lack of this evidence of life feels like a testimony against him.

Wei Wuxian could return some illusion of life to him. Would be happy to do so.

Selfishly, Wen Ning wants him to try. Being a walking experiment has its unsettling moments—more accurately, a constant hum of discomfort—but there is something morbidly enchanting about letting Wei Wuxian mold him into whatever he envisions. Into the magnum opus of a genius.

An even more selfish part of him wants to beg Wei Wuxian to try, because how symbolic would it be for Wei Wuxian to restore his heart, of all things…

“Wen Ning?” Wei Wuxian asks softly.

“Okay,” he answers, and instantly regrets it.

Wei Wuxian smiles again, this time the smile he saves for when he is about to tinker with the Ghost General. Wen Ning has learned all of his smiles by now, and he still doesn’t believe that there is one specially for him. But Wei Wuxian gives him that reassuring nod, the warm curve of his lips, the eager yet slightly rueful glint in his eyes, and Wen Ning can only recall seeing that expression the previous times Wei Wuxian rewrote pieces of him.

Wei Wuxian explains exactly what he’s going to do and how the resentful energy will flow. Wen Ning nods, and Wei Wuxian rests a hand on Wen Ning’s chest—casually, moving without hesitation, like always. “It won’t actually restart your heart. Just give the illusion of a pulse for a few minutes.” He furrows his brow as his focus intensifies. “That is, if it works.”

The feeling of Wei Wuxian’s hand on the center of his chest is stabilizing, yet it sets Wen Ning’s mind into disarray, despite how many times he has felt this before.

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes, preparing to reroute the resentful energy inside Wen Ning.

A cool stream of energy enters Wen Ning. Growing colder, gushing rapidly—

Freezing—

Then over almost instantly.

Wei Wuxian opens his eyes. “Feel any different?”

Wen Ning feels a bit dizzy, which is new. He hasn’t experienced vertigo since becoming a fierce corpse. But that fades quickly, and soon he is left with only the feeling of thick fabric pressing against his chest where Wei Wuxian’s hand rests.

He shakes his head. “Do…do you feel anything?”

Wei Wuxian shifts his hand, presses harder against Wen Ning’s chest. Waits, then sticks three fingers in the groove of Wen Ning’s neck, and that feels nice. Wen Ning almost wants to hold his hand there—

“No. I guess it didn’t work.” Wei Wuxian sounds much more tired than before. He removes his hand.

“That’s okay. I don’t need a heartbeat.”

“You want one though, yeah?” Wei Wuxian begins sifting through the inventions scattered across the cave, perhaps looking for another device, perhaps just hunting for kindling to spark an idea.

Wen Ning had been too selfish by agreeing to this. Who knows how long Wei Wuxian will research this now?

“I don’t want you to start another project,” Wen Ning says, and the faint thread of anger in his voice is stronger than he intended, even though that anger is mostly directed at himself. It's been harder to control his emotions since resentful energy began feeding them.

Wei Wuxian looks up, startled. Then he grins and gives a small laugh. “Are you turning into your jiejie now? Bossing me around…”

The joke only strengthens Wen Ning’s resolve. It reminds him that he can invoke Jiejie’s authoritativeness. He has never been good at following in his sister’s footsteps, but calling upon her immovability is almost as effective at steeling him as resentful energy. “You should sleep or come help us outside instead of always working in here.”

Wei Wuxian rubs his eyes. “I know, I know. You’ve all told me many times.” He seems to regret the slight bite in his tone. He tends to snap once in a while, the effect of stress lashing out from behind his mask, but it always dissolves as quickly as it appears.

“I’ll listen to you,” Wei Wuxian says, gently this time. Wen Ning feels a wave of relief. But then Wei Wuxian smirks and adds, “For now. I really do have some theories I want to test.”

“But—Wei-gongzi—”

Wei Wuxian rises to his feet and walks over to him. Stands and looks at him for a while, then says, almost murmurs, “I have enough projects for myself.” He tucks a strand of hair behind Wen Ning’s ear, and Wen Ning nearly melts. “Let me do something that’ll make you happy.”

This is bad. Very bad.

Wei Wuxian isn’t even telling the truth. His projects are all for the protection of Wen Ning’s family, not for himself. But the fond touch, combined with the sweetness in Wei Wuxian’s voice, is already enough to make Wen Ning bend.

He would much rather take care of Wei Wuxian than be taken care of. But if he weren’t worried about being a bother, he would tangle his hair just for Wei Wuxian to run his fingers through it, to twirl and comb and braid it the way he unravels and reorders the resentful energy inside Wen Ning.

“You really don’t need to. Getting a heartbeat was just an idea,” Wen Ning mumbles.

“And a good idea! We all need more comforts around here, don’t we?” Wei Wuxian nestles three fingers in the groove of Wen Ning’s neck to search for a pulse again, his brow knit in thought. Despite himself, Wen Ning can’t help but be glad that he can feel that touch a second time.

When Wei Wuxian experiments on him, the tugs and surges of resentful energy don’t exactly feel good. It’s like ice cracking under his skin, leaving shards that poke out of him. Or like the bony hand of a skeleton yanking at his insides, ripping him apart and rattling the pieces around.

The pain and discomfort frighten him. Remind him of what Wei Wuxian is capable of. What Wen Ning is capable of.

Yet he finds enjoyment in the fear, in the icy fingers of resentful energy, because those are the shadows of Wei Wuxian’s hands on him, reshaping him.

And before Wei Wuxian experiments on him…that feels too good. The doting—almost loving—attention, the careful examination, mumbled words, soft touches…

Wei Wuxian pulls his hand away and brings it to his own throat. His glance darts around the cave as he seems to calculate something in his mind.

Then he grabs Wen Ning’s hand and presses Wen Ning’s fingers into his neck. The sensation comes delayed, but Wen Ning feels it.

A pulse. Wei Wuxian’s pulse.

Wei Wuxian continues looking around the cave and thinking, as if this is just another ordinary step in a routine. But to Wen Ning, this is—this is—have they ever done something this intimate? How can Wei Wuxian let him feel the rhythm of his pulse, of his life force, and act like it’s nothing?

Somehow that makes it even more intimate, that Wei Wuxian doesn’t seem to mind…

Wen Ning counts the beats to himself.

Too slow. Not by much, but Wei Wuxian’s heart rate is too slow for his age, his size.

Wen Ning would make a mental note to tell Jiejie, but he knows she’s already aware. Wei Wuxian’s health has been deteriorating since he stepped back into the Burial Mounds.

“Wei-gongzi?”

“Mn?”

“I…I have a different idea.”

Wei Wuxian lifts Wen Ning’s hand from his neck, but doesn’t let go. He smiles. “What’s that?”

“You can just give me the tablet.” Wen Ning looks down at the slab of stone, thin black wisps of smoke swirling around it. “I can feel its heartbeat.”

“You don’t want your own?”

He shakes his head.

Wei Wuxian playfully taps the back of Wen Ning’s hand a few times. Four times, to be exact. Wen Ning can’t help counting. “That heartbeat isn’t very human, though.”

Neither am I, Wen Ning wants to say, but he knows Wei Wuxian will scold him if he does. “It would be more than enough,” he says instead.

“You’re going to make the Yiling Laozu feel like a fraud if you let him give you scraps and call it ‘more than enough.’” He sighs and glances down at the tablet. “But you can take it until I come up with something better.”

“Then…is there something that you don’t think is a scrap?��

Wei Wuxian brings Wen Ning’s fingers to his neck again, and the warm pulse hums through his fingertips. “Well, there’s my heartbeat.” He winks. “I’d still call that a scrap, though.”

“No it isn’t,” Wen Ning blurts.

Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows. Then his expression turns thoughtful. “Would you rather keep feeling mine?”

Wen Ning doesn’t reply, but he knows his face says everything. Not even rigor mortis can hide the answer.

“Forget about that useless rock, then.” Wei Wuxian pats his chest. “I’ll be your heartbeat for now.”

Wen Ning is sure that if he still had blood flow, he would be flushed. Panicked energy begins to twitch inside him. “N-No, it’s okay—”

“You don’t want my finest craftsmanship, and you don’t want my scraps! What am I going to do with you?”

“Nothing,” Wen Ning answers quietly.

“Yes, something.” He takes Wen Ning’s hand and tugs him toward the slab of stone he uses as a bed. “Hm. How should we do this? Maybe—”

“Wei-gongzi,” Wen Ning says, exasperated. He likes that Wei Wuxian never hesitates, never slows down—it’s attractive, in a frustrating kind of way—but it often leaves Wen Ning in the dust with his mind still sputtering and struggling to function.

“Alright, sit here.” Wei Wuxian gestures toward the bed. “If you want to,” he adds.

It’s pointless to ask if Wen Ning wants to. He wonders if Wei Wuxian knows that he doesn’t need Chenqing or yin iron to make him do just about anything.

Suddenly filled with dread, a dread that he is going to like this too much, he steps forward and awkwardly sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Perfect,” Wei Wuxian murmurs. He taps Wen Ning’s knee twice. “Spread your legs.”

Now Wen Ning is certain that he would be flushed if he were alive. “S-S-Spr—what?”

“Hey.” He smirks and points a finger at Wen Ning. “Who taught you to have thoughts like that? Don’t worry. I just need you to make room for me.”

Wen Ning gets out some garbled form of “okay” and spreads his legs, creating enough space for Wei Wuxian to sit on one of his knees.

Which Wei Wuxian does.

Sit on his knee.

He also wraps his arms around Wen Ning’s neck and pulls him closer until his cheek touches Wei Wuxian’s chest.

“I can’t do all the work myself.” He cups Wen Ning’s chin. “You have to move too.”

Wen Ning swallows—by habit, since he doesn’t really need to do that anymore—and positions himself so his ear rests over Wei Wuxian’s heart. He can’t feel Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat through the robes, but the gentle sound of thum, thum seeps into him right away.

Warmth, too. A lot of warmth.

“Good?” Wei Wuxian hums.

Wen Ning makes a small noise of contentment in the back of his throat. He fiddles with his hands in his lap, trying and failing to find a good place for them that isn’t Wei Wuxian’s legs. “I hear it.”

“Only hear it?”

He opens his mouth to object, but he knows that Wei Wuxian will spot the lie before it leaves his lips.

Wei Wuxian opens the collar of his dark outer robes and lets Wen Ning rest his head on the thin red inner garment.

Even warmer. Softer.

He can feel Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat.

He hasn’t felt something like this since he was a child. It’s…not what he expects.

Jiejie had taught him how to take a person’s pulse. How to place three fingers on each wrist and find the six pulse positions corresponding to the meridians of the body, to identify the different types of pulses—their depth, width, length, strength. How sometimes the pulse feels like beads rolling along a table, while other times it feels like the crisp pluck of a guqin string, and so on, each revealing secrets of the body, guiding how to best heal the patient.

All that knowledge had once been exciting. It seems mundane, now.

The medical analogies for a pulse at the wrist, Wen Ning realizes, don’t work to describe what a heartbeat from the chest feels like when it’s pressed against his cheek.

It’s like wading in a warm stream, sunshine beating on him. The gentle lap of current, its smooth rhythm—thum, thum—like the most natural and simple form of expression.

Wen Ning wishes Jiejie had instead taught him how to decipher a person’s soul by listening to their heartbeat, because with this strange, steady language reverberating in his ear, it almost seems possible.

“Now?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Wen Ning doesn’t make a sound this time.

He counts Wei Wuxian’s heartbeats and tries to guess how many fit into a minute. They remain like that, long after Wen Ning loses count, with Wei Wuxian’s warm body in his lap. They both relax, and Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat eventually fades into Wen Ning, like it’s his own.

His awareness returns when he notices Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat slowing even more. He pulls away, immediately missing the comforting solidness of Wei Wuxian’s chest, and looks up to see a calm, drowsy expression on Wei Wuxian’s face. His eyes are heavy-lidded and almost fully closed.

“We’ve been telling you,” Wen Ning says softly. “You don’t sleep enough.”

Wei Wuxian rubs his eyes. “You really are becoming bossy.”

“I just want you to take care of yourself.”

“You and your jiejie are like a pair of vultures. Circling me when I’m weak and picking at me!” He gives a wan smile and reaches around Wen Ning’s back to rub his shoulder. “But I appreciate that you care about me.”

Wen Ning absorbs the feeling of Wei Wuxian stroking his shoulder, the thrum of Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat still lingering in his ear. “I appreciate that you care about me, too,” he mumbles.

He’s not sure if Wei Wuxian hears, but figures he knows anyway.

* * *

The next day, Wei Wuxian lets Wen Ning listen again.

And the day after.

And the day after that.

It becomes a pattern, as reliable as the beat of Wei Wuxian’s heart. Wei Wuxian is more likely to skip a meal or lose a night of sleep than he is to shirk his self-proclaimed “heartbeat duty,” and Wen Ning begins to wonder if Wei Wuxian likes it as much as he does.

Then Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli show up in Yiling.

That night, Wei Wuxian drinks like he wants to waterboard himself.

He forgets about heartbeat duty after that. Wen Ning lets him.

* * *

Two weeks later, Wen Ning brings a medicinal draught Jiejie prepared to the Demon Subdue Palace. The sun outside sank long ago, leaving behind deep blues and browns that bleed into the entrance of the cave. A single candle flickers on a rock shelf in the cave wall, illuminating the craggy wall and the floor strewn with bits of metal and wood and crumpled talismans.

Astoundingly, Wei Wuxian is not hunched in the corner scribbling away. He’s in bed scribbling away, his sleeves rolled up and his tied-back hair slightly disheveled the way they are when he digs in the mud pond for the lotus pods that won’t grow.

He hadn’t come out to farm since the day before. Wen Ning wonders if he’s fixed his sleeves or his hair since then.

Wen Ning steps over as quietly as he can manage with his clumsy feet and waits beside the bed, holding the draught with both hands and feeling a faint sensation of its warmth. “Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian presses the wooden end of his brush into the corner of his mouth. “Do you know how to make a Spirit-Attraction Flag attract only ghosts of a certain age?”

“…No.”

“Mn. I—wait—” He cuts off and draws what looks like disjointed pieces of an array scribbled in the margins around rejected brushstrokes.

Wen Ning lets him write for a while, then says, “My jiejie made this for you to drink.”

“And why,” Wei Wuxian asks without a pause in his writing, “is she spending resources on me instead of saving them for A-Yuan and the others?”

“You need medicine, too. Because your stab wound still hasn't healed, and—and Jiejie says your body still isn’t used to not having a gold—”

Wei Wuxian abruptly stops writing. Wen Ning clamps his mouth shut, and wishes he hadn’t said anything.

With a lack of pleasure that he fails to hide, Wei Wuxian scribbles a few more things, then stands up, slices a cut in his finger, and begins trailing red lines on a Spirit-Attraction Flag. “I’m going down the mountain to test this.” He looks over at Wen Ning with a softened expression and walks out of the cave.

Wen Ning doesn’t need him to say that it’s an invitation to follow. He always accompanies Wei Wuxian down the mountain. He’d rather Wei Wuxian sleep, but at least leaving the Burial Mounds always puts him in a better mood.

After they pass through the final protective array and the forest around the path begins to change from grim black leafless trees to green trees shaded blue by moonlight, Wei Wuxian seems to relax. But instead of testing the flag in the clearing where he usually does, he continues walking.

They reach the edge of the forest. A few clouds in the sky hide some of the stars, but the moon is out, a bright half of a silver coin. They pass the town from a distance, still close enough to see amber dots of light from the few lanterns lit at this time of night, but far enough that even Wen Ning’s sharp vision can’t discern clear shapes of the buildings. Wei Wuxian stares at the town once in a while, as if he can see something in the muddied blocks of light.

They enter a different patch of forest and stray just far enough inside for tree branches to reach across the sky again.

Wei Wuxian holds up the flag and examines it.

He lowers the flag to his side.

“Wei-gongzi,” Wen Ning says quietly.

“Yes?”

“Did you…”

He trails off when Wei Wuxian begins slowly rolling up the thin canvas. “I think I just wanted to go for a walk,” he says. “I’ll let the spirits rest today.” He sets the folded flag on a large rock and sits on the ground, his back against the stone, looking out at the plains and town from the recesses of the forest.

“I like walking with you,” Wen Ning says, and sits beside him.

Wei Wuxian usually buries his sorrow in his projects, in the crop fields, in his games with A-Yuan. This aimlessness is the closest glimpse Wen Ning sees of Wei Wuxian’s true state of mind. Wei Wuxian ensures that he is alone whenever he truly lets in his sorrow, but Wen Ning accompanies him during the times when he comes close. As if Wei Wuxian wants him to see—wants someone to see—but refuses to reveal everything.

No one else but Wen Ning has sat next to Wei Wuxian while he draws portraits for no particular reason (he never shows them to Wen Ning, but Wen Ning can guess whom he draws), no one else has slept across the cave from him while he mumbles in his sleep, no one else has wandered down the mountain at night with him.

Wen Ning doesn’t know if he should feel privileged or worried that Wei Wuxian lets him see this much.

He doesn’t think he deserves to know Wei Wuxian’s deepest thoughts, but he wants Wei Wuxian to pass more sorrow onto him, let him shoulder some of the pain. Wen Ning’s heart is dead, he can take it.

“Wen Ning,” Wei Wuxian says. He smooths his robes, adjusts his fitted sleeves. “I haven’t done heartbeat duty in a while, have I?”

“You don’t need to.”

“Maybe I want to.”

Wen Ning looks down at his knees, but Wei Wuxian scoots closer.

With their backs against the rock, Wei Wuxian hugs him in, rests his hand on the side of Wen Ning’s head, cradling him against his chest. Wen Ning tucks his arms away, trying not to touch Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian takes one of his hands.

“It’s okay,” Wei Wuxian says.

Wen Ning waits a moment, wishing he had proper breath to steady himself, then carefully wraps his arms around Wei Wuxian, nestling close to his slender frame.

It feels different this time. Not because their position is different, or because Wuxian’s heartbeat is any faster or slower, stronger or weaker.

There is no purpose this time. It isn’t for Wen Ning to experience sensations more fully. It isn’t for Wei Wuxian to find comfort.

They are just two bodies cast aside from life, bodies that struggled to catch each other during their fall until they landed in each other’s embrace.

Holding Wei Wuxian feels as natural as his heartbeat, as inevitable as each thrum beneath where Wen Ning rests his head.

And just as fleeting.

Wei Wuxian is more alive than any person he knows, yet is wasting away more each day, having given up everything to protect the Dafan Wen.

And Wei Wuxian is not his. Only one thing ties them together: they have each made the other into a member of the living dead.

With whom did it start? Was it Wei Wuxian, who brought Wen Ning back as a fierce corpse, or was it Wen Ning, who held Wei Wuxian down as his core was removed? Or was it the world that did this to both of them?

But despite the thread of shared death that ties them together, Wei Wuxian could break that connection if he wanted to.

Wen Ning is bound to his family, bound to this unnatural body, bound to Chenqing's laments. He can never reenter the world.

But Wei Wuxian...

One day, Wei Wuxian may have the chance to belong in the world again. With his shidi and shijie, with Lan Wangji.

Wen Ning will always be banished to the margins of the world.

“How long are you going to live with us?” Wen Ning finds himself asking.

Leaves rustle quietly in the forest, clouds disappearing above their heads to reveal more stars against the dark liquid sky. An owl hoots questioningly far behind them.

“Until tomorrow,” Wei Wuxian says. “Ask me again tomorrow, and I’ll tell you again.”

“I can’t ask you that every day.”

“Then don’t ask me at all.” He strokes Wen Ning’s hair, over the back of his head and down his back. “I’m not leaving.”

Wei Wuxian continues playing with Wen Ning’s hair, running his fingers through it, stopping occasionally to work out a tangle. Not for the first time, Wen Ning wishes he could feel touch more strongly. He had dreamt of moments like these as a teenager, gentle caresses from Wei Wuxian, impossible moments. He hadn’t realized he would receive them one day after they had given up their lives for each other.

“When do you think we’ll get our next visitor?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Think I can make that Spirit-Attraction Flag into a Guest-Attraction Flag?” He chuckles. “We can hang it at the ridge. People will be drawn from miles to come talk to us. Tell Uncle Four to get lots of fruit wine ready." He fiddles with the sleeve of Wen Ning's robe. "I’ll have you test out the flag. Wear it like a cloak, and go walk around Yiling to see how many friends you make.”

“I can barely get anyone to buy turnips from me.”

“Change of plans, then! I’ll make a Customer-Attraction Flag, and we’ll finally be rich.”

Wen Ning smiles. “What are we going to buy once we’re rich?”

“Toys for A-Yuan.” Wei Wuxian rubs across Wen Ning’s shoulders, back and forth. “Every toy in Yiling.”

“We should buy every toy in Lanling, too.”

“That’ll need a lot more money. We’ll have to grow bigger turnips.”

“A giant one.”

“A single giant turnip?” Now there is real laughter in Wei Wuxian’s voice. “I’ll have to plant you as the seed to grow something big enough. Don’t tell your jiejie. Although she might figure it out when you disappear, and meanwhile a turnip the size of the Burial Mounds takes over Yiling.”

“I still won’t tell her.”

Wei Wuxian makes a low humming sound. “I can always count on you.”

Wen Ning melts more into Wei Wuxian’s embrace, surrounded by his warmth.

“Too bad that no matter who we bury in the lotus pond,” Wei Wuxian says with a sigh, “those plants still don’t want to sprout.” This time he doesn’t rub Wen Ning’s back or fiddle with him while he talks.

He’s never said something like that about the lotus crop without following it up with a confident proclamation—But when have I ever not achieved the impossible?, They’ll poke their heads out soon!, My lotus flowers will be the biggest you’ve seen, just wait!

He’s never left hanging the chance that the lotus crop might not grow.

Wen Ning waits for the cocky remark, but it doesn’t come. “They’ll sprout if you’re the one growing them,” Wen Ning suggests, filling in the declaration that Wei Wuxian missed.

“…Yeah.”

Wen Ning’s stomach sinks. He looks up. Wei Wuxian smiles at him and guides him to rest against his chest again.

“It’s only been two weeks. They might take a while,” Wen Ning says, his face nearly turned into Wei Wuxian’s robes.

“I’ll just cheat and make a Lotus-Attraction Flag.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Of course you will. You’ll also help me with the flag for attracting guests to marvel at the beauty of our lotus pond!”

Guests again.

Wen Ning knows that Hanguang-Jun had visited on the day his consciousness returned. Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli had met with Wei Wuxian soon after. Both left marks on Wei Wuxian.

Is he thinking about them?

Wishing he had warmth of his own to give Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning hugs him tighter. He's not sure if they lower to the ground in one movement or slowly slide down, but eventually they lie on their sides, facing each other, arms tight around each other. Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat speaks, and Wen Ning listens.

I’m lonely, it whispers. I’m so lonely.

Who is there in the Burial Mounds for Wei Wuxian to feel the same affection toward as he feels about Hanguang-Jun? Or to provide the same comfort as the company of his siblings?

Everyone in the Burial Mounds has tried their best to provide the support of a new family for Wei Wuxian. He has even called them his family. But try as they might, how could the Dafan Wen replace his shidi and shijie?

The shidi and shijie Wen Ning helped Wei Wuxian save, only to steal him away from. He knows that it was Wei Wuxian’s choice to lead the Dafan Wen to the Burial Mounds and live with them, but would he have made that choice if he had never formed a relationship with Wen Ning and his sister? The thought makes guilt churn in his stomach.

“Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian runs his thumb in gentle circles over Wen Ning’s shoulder. “Yes?”

“Is that something you want?” He pulls away from Wei Wuxian’s chest to look up at him, though not quite into his eyes. “Guests?”

“Don’t take that all so seriously. If guests come, would they be as good of a drinking buddy as Uncle Four, or as good of a storyteller as Granny, or as energetic as A-Yuan? They couldn’t compete.”

“But you meant it,” Wen Ning says, surprised at the force in his own voice, quiet as it is. “I’ll help you bring guests here.”

Wei Wuxian smiles and brushes his thumb over Wen Ning’s cheek, the touch warm and soft like hushed words. “You’re already too good to me. Don’t worry about me.” He sighs and looks up at the sky. “Each of us will have things we want, but can’t have. It’s just part of living.”

Wen Ning, too, looks up at the star-studded sky through the dark silhouettes of trees. The full shapes of the constellations are broken up, but he can picture which stars are waiting behind the black hands of tree leaves.

As he follows the disjointed forms of the constellations, he decides that he will relieve Wei Wuxian’s burdens.

He is not sure at what moment he makes the decision, but it settles into his bones and becomes his purpose for the night.

Not just for the night. For as long as Wei Wuxian is by his side.

The day Wen Ning’s consciousness was restored, he had heard A-Yuan singing a song about walking the “single-log bridge.” Curious, Wen Ning had asked where A-Yuan learned the song.

“Xian-gege,” had been the answer. The song’s lyrics had been about Wei Wuxian walking alone into darkness.

Wen Ning will not let him walk alone.

If Wei Wuxian wants to walk the single-log bridge, Wen Ning will carry him across it.

“Will you tell me about them?” Wen Ning asks.

“About what?”

“The things you want, but can’t have.”

* * *

Thank you for reading! Next chapter is coming soon. If you enjoyed this fic, come visit me on AO3!

#ningxian #mdzsnet #theuntameddaily #wen ning #wei wuxian #mdzs #cql #the untamed #mdzs fanfic #cql fanfic #the untamed fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #cql fanfiction #the untamed fanfiction #emilu creations #emilu fics

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ppersonna · 4 years

Text

tempestuous - kth | m

tem·pes·tu·ous - adjective - characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion

↳ summary- There’s no one who riles you up more than Kim Taehyung, your best friend’s brother. He knows exactly how to make you fly off the handle.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, minor angst i guess in the form of fighting, this is one big pile of smut, there’s some fluff too

↳ warnings- yikes where to begin. angry sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don’t be like dis), slapping, spanking, pain kink, dom/sub elements, facefucking, really rough sex, finger sucking, derogatory names, uhhh name calling, hate sex, tae is fuckin nasty yall im thriving

↳ a/n- I HAD TO REUPLOAD bc tumblr sucks lol well folks. here we are. i was given a prompt by @ladyartemesia so i blame her. as for tae, he really came for me this week and completely wrecked me, love that for me. i really popped off here and it’s only edited by me so i’m SORRY if there’s a lot of mistakes. fun fact i actually wrote almost 10k of another version of this but it frustrated me so badly i scrapped it lmao 🤡 HERE WE GO! Enjoy! feel free to send in your requests and i promise to try and get it done for you!

Kim Taehyung could only be described in a few words.

Infuriating, bothersome, vexing.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, suave.

Absolutely, inherently maddening.

And you hate how much you absolutely melt underneath his gaze, the way your heart leaps into your throat with a single word. Your body, the ultimate betrayer, opens up to him as your brain screams to abort, reverse, go back to start and do not pass go.

Kim Taehyung is not just the bane of your existence, no. He’s the little brother of your best friend, Kim Namjoon. Joonie had been in your life since you were in first grade and he in second. Taehyung was your age, but you hit it off with the older boy and haven’t separated since. Your mothers joked that you would get married one day and continue on the Kim line. Until they found out that Namjoon was 1) bisexual and 2) hopelessly in love with, ironically, a man named Kim Seokjin. He reasoned to his parents that they would at least carry on the Kim name.

Where Namjoon was sweet, caring, and deeply compassionate towards you, Taehyung was his alter. Taehyung was brash, cocky and relished in watching you squirm, whether it be out of fury or the god forsaken sexual tension. All growing up, he was the one to pull your pigtails, trip you into puddles of mud, and tease you in front of your friends. Namjoon, ever the faithful companion, was always there to pick up the pieces of what Taehyung broke.

It’s been that way with Taehyung ever since. A constant tug of war with each other, both unwilling to give a single inch to the opponent.

Your relationship with Namjoon remained steadfast as ever. Namjoon eventually moved in with his now-husband, Seokjin, who easily settled into your life as an additional partner in crime. You spent most of your days and nights settled into the couch, snuggled somehow in between or next to one of the two men you cherished most. You had the two best friends you could ask for and a happy life, blissfully Taehyung-free.

Until it wasn’t.

A loud knock wakes you from an unexpected nap on Namjoon’s couch. Your eyes crack open against the glare of the sunlight streaming through the windows. It takes a moment to gather your surroundings. You recognize that you’re in Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, and judging by the silence, you’re definitely alone there. As you reach for your phone, the screen lights up the time. 5:34 pm. Well, shit. You remember eating brunch and drinking mimosas at noon with your best friends and then lying on the couch to watch Netflix. How had you fallen asleep for five hours? How did you not wake? What the fuck did Jin put in his mimosas?

The knock is insistent again, louder this time.

“Joon! Jin! it’s me! Open up!”

The voice sounds familiar in your sleep-addled mind, but not quite enough to pinpoint it. You push your limp body off the couch and wince at the feeling of sore muscles. Couch sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you’re past the age of 25.

“Sorry, Namjoon isn’t here-,” You open the door to explain to the guest and you’re cut off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You rub at your sleepy eyes and allow your vision to focus, only to feel your blood stand still in your veins.

Kim Taehyung. Of fucking course.

“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m always here,” you tut as you fold your arms to your chest. “What are you doing here?”

He rolls his eyes and holds up his hands, two suitcases clutched in each. Who the fuck carries 4 suitcases up three flights of stairs? Kim annoying ass Taehyung does, apparently.

“I’m moving in.” He pushes past you and into the living room.

Your mouth gapes open. Namjoon certainly didn’t tell you this. Taehyung looks back at chuckles at your reaction.

“I’m guessing your best friend didn’t tell you the happy news?”

You shut your mouth, quickly jumping back into composure. “No, he failed to mention that,” you sniff. “I thought you lived with your girlfriend in Gangnam? What was her name? Rose or whatever?”

Tae stiffens, just slightly for a moment, before he plasters back on the bravado. “Obviously not anymore. We broke up, she kept the apartment. Got tired of moping at my mom’s house and I told Namjoon I wanted to come back to the city.”

You feel a slight tug at your stomach, guilt, perhaps? You clear your throat. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He laughs as he sits on the couch, instantly throwing his feet onto the coffee table, like a heathen. “No, you’re not.”

“What do you mean, no I’m not? God, sorry for being polite!”

This, you reason, is why you can’t sustain longer than 5 minutes of civilized conversation with your best friend’s younger brother. He’s impossible.

He just smirks, and you know he loves the rise he gets out of you.

“Because I know you, and I know you don’t give a fuck about my love life.”

Au contraire. If only he knew just how much you gave a fuck.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to you!” you nearly stamp your foot in frustration but hold yourself back. That would be too good of ammo for him to use against you.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesces. “Whatever helps you feel you’re a good person.”

You’re seeing red and you know you want to continue screaming at him but you will not stoop to his level.

“Christ, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re still an asshole,” you say as you grab your keys and shoes. “And also, Jin will kill you if he sees your feet on his coffee table.”

You whip yourself around and open the door to leave and hear him call over your shoulder.

“Good to see you too, doll! Love the hairstyle, by the way.”

You close the door with a growl leaving your throat. The absolute audacity of that man.

You stomp towards the elevator to take yourself to the ground level, when you catch your reflection in the shiny metal. Your hair is in what you can only lovingly call a complete hornet’s nest. It’s ratted and sticking out in places and you feel your cheeks burn. Your first reintroduction with Taehyung is with a fight AND with you looking like a fool.

This would not do. No, sir.

“Kim Namjoon!” you shriek into your cell phone. You’re awkwardly pressing it against your ear with your shoulder as you walk out of the convenience store under your apartment building with 3 bottles of soju and a six-pack of beer. You needed to drown your shame and sorrow, and fast.

“Hello, love of my life and moon of my stars,” your best friend replies and you can hear Seokjin chuckle in the background.

“No!” You chide, already cracking a beer open as you storm into your apartment building. “Don’t you Khal Drogo me, mister! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your fucking asshole brother was moving in with you?!”

Namjoon is silent and you can tell he’s wincing on the other end of the phone. “Oops?” He offers.

“Yeah, big oops! A heads up would have been nice! Like, ‘hey best friend, your worst enemy of all time is moving in today. Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep on my couch and wake up looking like Frankenstein’s ugly wife. Oh, and also my handsome boyfriend and I will just happen to not be there when he arrives’.”

By this time, you can tell Namjoon has put you on speakerphone because you can hear their rich laughter loud and clear. Rude bitches.

You stab your key code into your door and lock yourself in, chugging as much of the beer as you could handle.

“At least, even in her rants she thinks I’m handsome,” Jin gloats.

“I’m sorry babe,” Namjoon sighs as he finally calms down. “I didn’t know he would be there today. I just found out about it last night.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, the annoying pit in your stomach feeling simultaneously guilty that he went through a breakup, unbridled joy that something brought him down a peg, and just a dash of excitement that he’s single now.

You let out a breath. “It’s okay, Joon. It just surprised me to see him.”

Jin butts in, “And because you have a big, fat, unresolved crush on him.”

“Jin!” You admonish. The couple laughs again and you roll your eyes, asking yourself why you put up with the two. “I do not!”

They both hum a non-committal answer, implying they don’t believe you in the slightest.

“Whatever. What are you guys doing, anyway?”

“We just got home from shopping. God, Jin looked so good in these jeans he tried on. I was actually just about to suck his coc-,”

“Kim Namjoon, do not finish that sentence! I do not wish to hear it!” You try to remain firm, but dissolve into giggles with the pair.

You could never stay mad at Namjoon long, even if his brother was the devil incarnate.

“Darling,” Jin calls through the phone. “I still expect to see you at our place tonight for our sleepover.”

Christ, you had forgotten all about your scheduled sleepover night. It was tradition and one of your favorite parts of your friendship with the couple. Jin, a literal chef, prepared a five star meal along with dessert for you while you binge watched Netflix and talked incessantly.

But you also usually slept in their spare bedroom. The exact one that Taehyung would be occupying.

“Fuck, while he’s there?”

“Oh suck it up,” Jin chides, like he’s your mother. “He’s probably not even going to leave his room. You’re not getting out of this. I’m making strawberry cheesecake.”

Your mouth waters at the idea of Jin’s famous cheesecake.

“Fine, but I get to lick the bowl and not Namjoon. Those are my terms.”

Namjoon squawked in defiance as Jin laughed. “I agree to your terms. Be at our place by 8.”

As you hung up the phone, you checked the time. 6:40. God, he hadn’t left you with much time to get ready, did he?

And you definitely needed to get ready. There was no way you were entering a room where Kim Taehyung exists looking like booboo the fool, not again.

Your fingers press the 6 digit passcode to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, arms heavy laden with your bag of toiletries and pajamas, and a bag full of wine.

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce as you toe off your shoes and slide into the combined kitchen and living room.

You receive no reply, but greeted with the amused face of none other than the object of your filthiest dreams, Taehyung.

“Pet names already? We’re moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” He asks you as he lounges at the kitchen table. He watches you open the fridge to set the wine, as comfortable in their home as you are in yours.

“Fuck off,” you grumble. “Where’s your brother?”

Tae seemed absolutely tickled by your disgruntlement. “I think they mentioned something about taking a shower. That was 20 minutes ago, though.”

“Great,” you sigh. “Those fucking horn dogs act as if they’re still newlyweds. We’ll be waiting awhile.”

You tug off your sweater, leaving you to remain in a fitted tank top and yoga pants. You tried to maintain a comfortable look as you dressed for the evening, while keeping in mind which leggings hugged your ass and showed off your toned thighs, and a tank top that dipped low to your cleavage. Okay, so maybe you had ulterior motives. You wanted to make up for your dreadful appearance earlier and make him squirm, payback for the years of him doing it to you.

You watch him as he lets his eyes roam your body, eying you like he wants to ravage you completely. You feel victorious… and also turned on. Fuck, you played yourself.

You flop onto the couch in a huff and Tae snorts before joining you.

“What’s so funny?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Nothing,” his smile feigns innocence. “I’m not allowed to laugh?”

You sniff in annoyance, not eager to fall for his tricks. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want, your highness.” Sarcasm drips from your voice and Tae finds it even more humorous.

“I see you’re still a sassy bitch.”

You gasp, audibly startled by his language and rise from the couch, fists clenched.

“I see you’re still a conceited dick!”

He rises to meet you where you stand, eyes boring into your own with his stupid sexy grin on his face. “I see you’re still not one to back down from a fight.”

You step closer, close enough to feel his breath on your face. Idly, you note it smells like peppermint and you move closer on reflex.

“Yeah? I see you’re still not one to avoid starting a fight in the first place!” you huff.

“Oh, I started it?”

“Yeah, you started it! You called me a bitch!”

You can’t believe this is happening. You feel as if you’re 6 again and fighting with him over a toy.

“A sassy bitch, actually,” he corrects, taking another step forward, bodies touching.

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you say please,” he quips before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours in a scorching hot kiss.

There’s not even a moment of hesitation on your end, immediately pulling him even closer and wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing his tongue entrance to your mouth. Your body reacts to his instantly, as if it’s wired to respond to him and him only. Your mind was blank of anything except Tae, only Tae please, and you acted purely on instinct alone. And instinct was pulling him closer and begging, more, anything he could give.

The sound of laughter coming from the hallway pulls you apart, neither of you wanting to get caught by Namjoon or Jin. You stare at him, his lips are cherry red and slightly swollen and the image burns into your retinas. He has such pretty lips after you’ve kissed him.

“Oh hey! What’s going on here?” Namjoon asks as he notices the intense eye-battle you’re engaged in with his younger brother.

It shakes you out of the spell, eye contact broken and hypnosis halted.

“Just, errrr,” you falter to find the right words to explain the situation.

“Just getting reacquainted.” Tae sounds completely unaffected, as if the passionate kiss you shared with him seconds ago was but a distant memory. Asshole.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t thrown anything at each other yet,” Jin laughs. “Or thrown yourselves at each other.”

Both you and Taehyung whip to look directly at Jin.

“Her!?” Tae is incredulous. “Gross.”

You’ll never admit out loud that his words wound you.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung,” you punctuate your words by turning away from him and towards Namjoon, who appears amused as ever.

“Ah, I love when my best friend and my little brother are screaming at each other. Feels like old times. Can one of you cry now to complete the moment?”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, something you can’t catch, and stalks off to his room. The slam of his door reverberates in the apartment and Jin jumps and turns to yell down the hall at his brother-in-law.

“Yah! Don’t break my apartment! I still owe money on this!”

Despite Taehyung’s appearance every so often in the kitchen or living room, the rest of the night goes on with no annoying disturbances.

Jin spoils you and his husband with expensive food, and the best cheesecake you’ve ever eaten in your life. Plus, you’re given the bowl to lick clean despite a desperately adorable pout from Namjoon you were sure would persuade Jin.

You’re settled on the couch, snuggling in the middle of the couple as an action movie flickers across the big screen tv. Truthfully, you haven’t paid attention to a single thing happening, your thoughts entirely too absorbed in Taehyung and that deliciously infuriating kiss.

Why did he do it? You couldn’t comprehend his reasoning. Perhaps he was doing it to piss you off. He’s never angered you with that level of intimacy before, but you didn’t put it past him.

You’re surprised when the credits of the movie start rolling and Jin and Namjoon fake loud yawns.

“Oh man, I’m beat,” Namjoon lies.

Jin is quick to join. “Me too, I think I’ll pass out the moment I hit the pillow.”

You roll your eyes at the men. “Will you two please go fuck already, I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

Namjoon blanches, but Jin laughs and kisses your cheek. “Ah, my smart, beautiful and chaotic child,” he coos. He leans in to your ear, voice low to keep his husband from listening. “I don’t think I’m the only one in this house who’s going to get pounded into a mattress.”

He pulls back and winks at you, deftly ignores Namjoon’s confusion and sadness of being left out, and drags him to their bedroom with a loud ‘goodnight’.

You’re left to stew in your own emotions, which is never a good thing. Was the tension that obvious? You always assumed it had been one-sided, but the kiss befuddled you more than you’d like to admit.

It finally snapped in your mind, all the dots connecting. That’s why he did it.

He kissed you so you’d stew and simmer and eventually erupt, like you’re doing now. Taehyung knows you too well for your comfort.

You grab your bag of clothes and storm towards the bathroom to change, promising yourself to forget about the kiss and not give Taehyung what he wants.

Except you’re not very good at promises, especially to yourself.

You can’t say you’re excited to sleep on the couch again. While it’s a nice couch, it’s definitely not a bed and your back will pay the price tomorrow. You supposed it was better than the floor, but not by much.

After dressing in your pajamas, a purposefully picked out combination of tiny shorts and a sports bra in case Taehyung happens upon you, you return to your bed for the night in the living room.

Namjoon graciously left blankets and a pillow out for you, and you’re complaining internally about Taehyung the whole time you make yourself a spot to sleep. If it wasn’t for stupid Taehyung and his stupid existence, you’d be sleeping like a baby on the guest bed that you loved. But no, they relegated you to the couch like an animal.

Sleep was not in the cards tonight, it seems. You toss and turn and try to press at the cushions to move a lump around and get comfortable, but it’s all for naught. You’re wide awake and very, very uncomfortable. You didn’t understand how you fell asleep on this very couch earlier in the day. Maybe the mimosas you had at brunch with the couple had been helpful.

A thought crosses your mind. Alcohol. Maybe a nice glass of wine would help tuck you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. A nightcap. Of course. You were angry at yourself for not thinking of it hours ago.

You slipped out of your disagreeable bed and into the kitchen, trying not to make a sound. Jin’s beloved kitchen was also an echo chamber of noise, even the slightest sound bouncing off its walls and amplifying it through the whole house. You still remember the way you jumped five feet in the air when Jin accidentally broke a plate. It sounded like a bomb explosion.

You bite your lip as you carefully pry the cabinet of wine glasses open, careful to not even allow a squeak of a hinge. You silently beg to stay silent and not wake anyone in the house. You didn’t want to be caught drinking wine at 2 am in the dark, that’s difficult to explain without looking like an alcoholic.

With glass in hand, you tiptoe the fridge to pull out the bottle of merlot, thinking the heavy red wine would be the best to get you sleepy and quick.

You tug the cork from the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the stemware with a smile. Liquid sleep. And you had done it without making a single sound. Perfection. The smell of the alcohol permeates through your nose as you lift the glass, placing it to your lips to take a sip.

“Wine at this hour?” the unexpected voice of Taehyung echos through the kitchen, making you yelp and jolting you hard enough that you drop the hard-earned glass of wine to the tile floor, red wine splashing as the sound of glass shattering is reverberating off the walls.

“Fuck!” You screech at the intruder. Taehyung doubles over, laughing as if he’s seen nothing funnier than what just transpired. “You asshole!”

You listen past Taehyung’s incessant laughter to ensure the owners of the apartment hadn’t awoken during the ruckus. You definitely did not want to face a tired and agitated Jin to tell him you shattered one of his Tiffany crystal goblets.

Beyond Tae, the house is silent and you’re thanking whatever god is listening for keeping your best friends asleep.

The wine is everywhere, spilling into the cracks of the tile and splattered on the walls. The crystal stemware is too; it shattered with such force that you see flecks of the shrapnel in all four corners of the room.

Tae wipes a tear from his face and you square a tempestuous look at him.

“Fucking help me! You made me drop it!”

Through snorts, he replies. “I didn’t make you do anything. You did that on your own.” Although he is arguing with you, he’s gingerly stepping into the kitchen and kneeling to pick up shards of glass.

“I wouldn’t have dropped it if you had come into the room like a fucking normal person,” you grit.

He collects the glass, the delighted grin on his face now permanent. He’s relishing in your annoyance, you know he is, and it burns you from the inside out.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

“You could have turned on the light! Why were you in the dark like a freak?” You’re grasping at straws, anything to pin this all on him. It would quell the fire in your belly to push it all onto him, make you feel as if you’ve won.

Taehyung levels a look at you. “And you weren’t also in the dark? Pouring a gallon of wine for yourself?”

Your cheeks flare red. Fuck, he definitely caught you there. You’re playing verbal poker with him and the hand you’re dealt falls flat compared to his royal flush. He grins, knowing he has you.

“Fuck you,” you snark, you go to insult when you’re backed into a corner.

“Ah, doll,” he winks. “We talked about that. Be careful what you wish for.”

The fire inside you is roaring to an inferno now, flames licking to your core. It’s a complicated mixture of anger and sexual energy. It’s infuriating that he’s able to make you feel every single emotion to the extreme. You hate that arguing with him turns you on, like it’s some perverse foreplay.

You moisten your lips with your tongue as you process his words, and Tae’s eyes hungrily track the appendage as it glides over your lips.

“Fuck. You.” You emphasize perfunctorily.

All thoughts of wiping up the mess are forgotten as Tae drags both you and himself off the floor and steers you to the living room, lips feverish against your own. He pushes you into the couch and tugs his shirt off, before replacing his lips to yours.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot when you’re a bitch,” he groans as he snaps the strap of your sports bra. “Seeing you get all worked up makes me so hard.”

He’s not wrong. You can see through his mesh basketball shorts that he’s sporting an impressive package, rock hard in its clothed prison.

“Yeah?” You bite at his lip.

“Hell yeah.” His hands work to the elastic band under your bust and tugs the offending material off, tits springing free as he throws it to the floor.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathes as he gets a good look at your chest.

You shake them gently, grinning as he watches them jiggle. “You like what you see?”

He smirks and pinches a nipple, wiping the coy smile off your face and turning it into a moan. “I like when you’re mouthy, but don’t push it.”

He lowers his head to the nipple he’s still pinching in his fingers, licking at it and replacing his fingers with his mouth. He’s moaning around the nipple, and you’re gasping for more. His hot mouth sucks at you, teeth nibbling and pulling it until you’re whimpering in delicious pain.

“Fuck!” He cries as he pops away from your nipple. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Your body warms at his words, arousal pooling between your legs. You’re sure that your thighs are drenched in your essence.

He slurps your neglected breast into his mouth, ensuring your nipples are equally abused. His tongue is skilled but his mouth is messy, saliva dripping all around your tit and it’s the hottest fucking sight you’ve ever seen.

He’s pulling away again and pinching both nipples with his hands simultaneously. “And you’re so fucking annoying.”

You’re pleading for more or to stop, you’re not sure. He continues.

“Mm, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re a good little bitch for me. Listening to every fucking thing I say.”

He releases your nipples, and you finally find the ability to focus again, staring directly at him.

“Oh, you think you’re that good?” you sass as you attempt to catch your breath. “Put your money where your mouth is.”

Tae grips your chin roughly, face inches away from yours with a sadistic grin. “You’re going to regret those words, baby.”

Instantly, he’s standing up and tugging his shorts down to let his cock spring free. Your brain misfires as you visually measure his cock and your mouth goes dry. He’s thick and long. The bulbous head is dripping pre-cum, begging you to slurp it up.

“How about I put my money where your mouth is,” he suggests as he grabs a fistful of your hair.

He teasingly rubs his cock on your lips and cheeks, makes you whimper with need. Your tongue is sticking out, desperate for him to lay it on you.

“Already so fucking greedy,” he grunts and in one motion, directs his dick into your open mouth. “I’ll fuck your throat, yeah? Greedy bitches love getting face fucked.” He is still for a beat more, eyes searching yours for consent and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He winks, then begins a rapid pace, his cock fucking into your mouth and throat.

You’re sure you look like a goddamn mess with saliva dripping from your mouth as Taehyung punishes your throat with his thrusts. You gag and moan around him, and he tightens his grip in your hair as you see stars.

It’s indescribable. Never have you felt such pleasure from sucking cock, but Tae commands your entire body, willing you to drip with anticipation.

“My little fuck toy, god you feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “You’re gonna swallow my cum, baby.”

His hips are stuttering, he’s close, and you’re sucking him harder, cheeks pulling in harder to vacuum him in. The pressure makes him groan out loud.

“So good, so fucking good. Get ready for your prize, baby,” his voice cuts off in a gasp, as his cock twitches violently. His legs shake and he doesn’t hold back the moans of his orgasm, gasping as he feels rope after rope spill down your hot throat.

Your big doll eyes are twinkling up at him, lips still wrapped around his cock. Taehyung is sure it’s the hottest thing he’ll ever see in his lifetime. You on your knees, subservient to him and thriving for it.

“Mmm, I like it when your mouth is full like this,” he slowly pulls out of your mouth, albeit reluctantly. “Can’t talk back to me when you’re sucking my cock like a whore.”

You smile and stick out your tongue, pleased to show him you happily accepted his cum.

“Good fucking girl,” he coos as he grips your chin again. “Did you like my cum?”

You nod, brain fried from the heat of the room.

“Use your words,” he grits and grips your jaw harder. It’s enough to shock you into compliance.

“Y-yes! Fuck, I love your cum, Tae.” Your words are breathy and raspy, throat raw from his barrage.

“I knew you would, filthy slut. Sit on the couch.” He orders and you’re quick to scurry and sit on the makeshift bed you made.

His hands are tugging down your shorts quickly. No teasing or seduction here, not now. You lift your hips, and he throws them aside. Your legs close on reflex, making him growl.

“Do not hide yourself from me.” His tone is dark and you can’t help but shiver as you open yourself up to him. You want to talk back, want to fight and bite at him, but you’re quickly losing the ability to even speak, and you’re aching for him.

“Where’s my mouthy little bitch? You’re awfully quiet. Did I finally break you?” He teases, pressing your legs upward, knees to your ears. It’s pornographic how on display you are for him, soaking wet cunt front and center.

“The great Taehyung thinks he can break me with his cock,” you mewl, mustering all the false confidence you can. You’re lying through your fucking teeth and you both know it, but you continue. “You’ll have to do more than that.”

Your pussy is quaking with need now, desperate for a single touch. His hands maintain purchase on the backs of your thighs, holding them up.

“There she is,” he bites at the flesh of your leg closest to him which makes you jerk in his hold. “Gonna fuck the brat right out of you.”

He removes a hand from your thigh and you’re quick to pick up the slack, holding the thigh in place to maintain his open show of your pussy.

“Try me,” you murmur, and you’re instantly regretting your words as a harsh slap descends and lands square on your cunt.

You nearly scream, pain flooding your wanton pussy, before turning into delicious pleasure that stings and tingles right at your clit. It sizzles, and warmth blooms where his hand was.

“That’s for not believing me.” His eyes are feral and you want to bottle this memory forever.

Another slap has your legs trembling, eyes rolling back as the burn turns to a low heat. You’re dripping your wetness down onto the couch and Jin will kill you, but you don’t care.

“That was for calling me a dick,” he smirks.

Smack.

Tears spring in your eyes as the slap brings more pleasure than pain, desperately close to your edge.

“Look at you, you could cum just from this, couldn’t you?”

“F-fuck! Yes, please, I need more, please!” Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for friction and leaking out of you like a faucet. Taehyung marvels at you, legs spread so far, with a cunt weeping with arousal for more. He can’t wait to dive in there, but he’s not finished with you yet.

“More? I don’t know if you deserve more, baby, you’ve been awfully mean to me,” he tsks, breathing hot air on your clit, making you whine.

“P-please! I’m sorry!” You’re sure you will black out with how desperately you need him. You need him more than you need oxygen.

“Beg.”

You’re quick to submit. Thoughts of fighting back are long gone, you’re his wanton little slut now.

“Please, please! Pleaseeeee, make me cum! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He asks with an arch of his eyebrow.

You’re nodding wildly, gazing at him with desperate, watery eyes.

“Anything, I need you so f-fucking bad it hurts!”

By the time the words leave your lips, he’s thrusting two fingers into your cunt viciously, fingering you ferociously. He arches them, rubbing against your spongy g-spot and making you scream. He knows you’re close, knows you only need one little push off the edge. He plays your body like a skilled practitioner.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. Let me see my greedy little bitch milk my fingers.”

Your body and mind react accordingly, deep down you know your body is owned completely by him, all his. Your orgasm explodes and you think you actually scream, your vision is black and your hearing goes silent for a moment as you cum harder than you have in your life. You’re squeezing his fingers with your pussy so tight and Taehyung is gently licking all the juices from his hand with his fingers still inside you.

It takes time to descend from the separate plane of existence Taehyung sent you too, but you come back and watch as he laps at the liquid of your cunt and on his hand like it’s a vital necessity. His fingers remain in your walls, and he refuses to break eye contact with you. You’re positive you could cum again from the sight.

“My little cockslut tastes so good, just how I like,” he tells you tenderly. “Like cherries, so sweet. My little cherry.”

Your cunt is aching and warming back to life as he pulls his fingers out of you. The loss is immense and you’re whimpering for more.

“Ah, ah,” he hushes you. “No whining. You’ll take what I give you. Suck my fingers clean. Taste yourself.”

He presses his fingers into your mouth, earning him a sigh, the taste of you filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his fingers and suckle each one to ensure your tongue laves the entire surface.

“Fuck,” he whispers and it’s his first crack in his steel reserve. “Needy.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and presses against you to kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and nothing compared to the man assailing your pussy with slaps moments ago. It thrills you just the same and you return in kind, threading your hands in his wavy hair.

He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, a moment of gentleness you actively welcome.

“This little cunt ready for me?” He whispers and you’re whimpering your reply.

“Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips again, sweet and chaste, before he pulls away and slides down to attach those same sinful lips to your pussy.

It’s so unexpected you flinch and manage a cry as his tongue slurps up more of your delicious essence and his mouth moves to suckle on your clit. You’re not sure where the fuck he learned these tricks, but you know now you will never let him go.

“Taehyung!” You cry at the sensation. “Fuck!”

After receiving the reaction he was desperate for, he slips his tongue into your walls deep and gathers as much of you as he can, before he’s pulling back and swallowing you down.

“I couldn’t resist. Your cunt was made for me to devour.”

He doesn’t allow for a response as he throws your legs over his shoulders and lines himself up at your core.

“Condom?” He asks you, and you level a quick look at him.

“I don’t live here! I don’t have any!” You’re savage, terrified he’ll pull his cock away when all you want and can think about is the way he’ll feel pounding into you.

“Don’t be rude, baby,” he reminds you with a swat to your ass. “I’m clean, promise. You?”

You nod quickly, reveling in the spank’s tingle. “Same. I have an IUD too,” you sigh. Thank god for medical birth control implants.

“Good. You’re the only pussy I’m gonna fuck from now on,” he promises. You know you must talk about this later, when you’re thinking rationally and not with your aching pussy.

Your heart stutters and leaps into your throat but all is forgotten as he plunges into your tight heat.

“Ohhhhh shit, ahhh,” he gasps. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight and wet.” He’s on the verge of whining, becoming just as needy and greedy as you. He wastes no time in setting a pace.

His cock fills you completely, his angle allowing him to go as deep as he can, pressing the beginning of your cervix. This is surely what heaven feels like. It feels like the completeness you feel with Taehyung fully sheathed inside you.

It comes alive with flames and explosions as he fucks you, hips pistoning to plunge in and out of you with tenacity. He fucks you like he laces every single thrust with more, more than just sex. He fucks you with purpose.

You’re moaning like a pornstar now, high pitch wails and gasps and breathy moans are all you can manage. “Taehyung, yes! Feel so g-g-good!”

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Make sure all the neighbors know who fucking ruined you,” he nearly spits, cock thrusting into your core at an impossible speed. “I want you to tell all of Korea who owns you. Who owns this tiny little cunt?”

The wind leaves you, and you’re gasping for air, gaping mouth open as you try to reply. It takes him fucking into you harder a few times before you feel it rush back into you.

“You, Taehyung! You! Fuck, I love your cock!”

His thumb rubs at your engorged clit, allowing it the friction it seeks. He bends forward and wraps his other hand around your throat, squeezing.

Losing air combined with the friction on your clit has you keening, so close to the edge. You try to babble his name but nothing comes out.

“Look at my pretty little slut taking my cock so well,” he praises. “You have the greediest pussy, don’t you? You need my cock daily, baby. Need to put my mouthy bitch in her place, remind her who’s in charge.”

He slows his pace but his thrusts are punishing, fucking into you as hard as he can. Your orgasm is climbing so impossibly high.

“F-fuck!” You gasp as he releases his grip on your neck. “Gonna cum! Please let me cum!”

“Yeah baby, cum for me. Cream your greedy pussy all over my cock.”

The world stops spinning as you hit the height of your climax and plunge down. Your vision goes black and your body is quivering and convulsing nearly as hard as your cunt is. Taehyung hisses at your walls sucking him in, as if you’re begging for his cum, begging for more.

“Fuck, good girl, baby, holy shit,” he’s breathless and so close.

You’re overstimulated, boneless, but he wrought two of the best orgasms you’ve ever felt in your life and you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry. You bite your lip as you move with him, hips pounding against each other. His face is scrunched up and you know he’s close when he’s stuttering on his words. You take over for him.

“Please cum in me baby, please. Fill me up. I’m yours, baby, mark my little cunt as yours.” You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you keep it going. It feels as natural as fucking him does. “Please, Taehyung!”

At the sound of his name leaving you in a whine, he spirals down his own completion. He feels his cock pulse as he empties his load into you, your walls still reverently beckoning for him. He’s calling out your name, grasping at your tits as he finishes and you’re smiling from ear to ear. Your pussy is warm with his seed and you’re positive it’s the way you want to feel every single night.

“Holy fuck,” Taehyung rasps as he pulls his cock out of you. He thrills as he watches his cum follow, slipping out your folds and down your thigh. “I definitely marked you.”

You hum in reply, finally allowing yourself to soak in the haze of orgasmic bliss. Tae presses his head to yours again, kissing you sweetly.

“Come sleep in my bed?” He asks. He means more behind it. He wants to ask you to sleep in his bed every night, stay with him every day, be the one he grows old with. He knows there’s still more to talk about, wounds of the past to heal, but now you’re with him, and he knows he’ll work through anything.

You nod, and kiss him again, understanding his hidden meaning laced in his words.

A sly smile spreads across his face. “Last one to bed has to take the blame for the wineglass,” he teases. Your head spins as if you’ve got whiplash. He can switch from dominating to sensitive to the little shit he is so quick.

“Hey! No fucking fair! You fucked my ability to run out of me!”

“Shouldn’t have been such a sassy bitch,” he winks before he tears away towards his room.

“Taehyung, you’re an asshole!” You call as you limp your way behind him.

From behind Joon and Jin’s door, a critical voice bellows, “YAH! I’ll kill you if you got your jizz on my couch! And what is this I heard about my glass!!? HEY! Those are TIFFANY. CRYSTAL. THE DISRESPECT!”

You slip into Taehyung’s bed and wrap yourself around him, the two of you gasping with mischievous giggles.

Kim Taehyung will always be the one who knows how to drive you wild. He’ll always aggravate and infuriate you, send you reeling.

But now you didn’t think you minded it at all.

#bangtanarmynet #maknaesmutsociety #btswritersnet #btswriterscollective #kwritersworldnet #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung #bts v #bts fic #bts smut #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #v

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kelieah · 4 years

Text

surprise (peter parker x stark!reader)

summary: you give peter a gift he would have never expected to receive from you

word count: 2.9k

warnings: angst angst angst, fluff, language

edited: sorry this is super late :(

a/n: hehe, happy bday to the cutest puppy of all! thank you to everyone who helped me come up with ideas for this fic, ily all 3000

masterlist

You and Peter have been dating for almost a year now. You both decided to get together after all the chaos that took place in Europe. You two have been friends for quite a while before that, so the fact that your friendship with Peter flourished into something even better is one of the many reasons why you adore him.

His birthday is tomorrow and you wish to make it as special as it can be. Though you’re not exactly sure how to do that. You know your dad would’ve easily bought something tremendously big and written a cheesy yet short letter with it, and Peter would love it. But if you did the same, it wouldn’t be right. Right?

The night before his birthday, you were in a spiral. You had already planned a surprise party for him at his apartment though that was the least of your worries. You were pacing around your room, unsure if the gifts you’ve been preparing for weeks was enough or if you should add more things.

Over the years you’ve been friends with him and the months you’ve been dating him, you put together memories and experiences all in a scrapbook. It looked cute and simple on the outside, but once you opened it up, the pages were filled with photos, letters, doodles, and colors. Many references or inside jokes were scattered along the side margins and stickers were put accordingly. You made sure it was perfect, but your gift still felt incomplete to you.

You wanted to be extra. You had to be extra. You remember your mom saying it was something you got from your dad. That man was always one for his dramatics. So you stayed up a bit later than you should’ve, making tiny little paper stars with sweet compliments, affirmations, and advice in them. Then you made as many as you can to fill up a glass jar shaped like R2-D2.

Though to you, that still wasn’t enough. So you searched and searched and eventually found some vintage Star-Wars comics. Ignoring the fact that they were over a thousand bucks, you bought a dozen or so. His gifts were spread across your bed and you stared at it for what felt like hours.

Is this enough? Is this too much? Will he love it? Will he even like it? Shit.

You remember wanting to sleep and putting it all aside to figure out in the morning. You might’ve forgotten his birthday was the next day with how much you focused on the gifts than the actual date, so you woke up with panic.

You also remembered there was one last thing you wanted to get for Peter but once you glanced at the clock, it was already noon. You overslept.

You feel your heart drop immediately realizing that you weren’t able to text or call Peter a happy birthday or good morning. You assume he must be worried, or hurt or maybe upset? You place your face in your hands and fall into deep thought. Then it hit you, the surprise party is in three hours.

“Morning Friday, read my text messages and voicemails please,” you groggily lean against your bed rest.

“Are you sure, Y/n? You have 243 text messages and 94 voicemails,” Friday informs you.

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, “Uhm, actually just read the ones from Mom, Peter, Aunt May, and Happy please,” you mutter.

“Understood,” Friday responds, beginning to go through your messages and voicemails, “Mom has messaged you, “Morning honey. Had to go to some meetings. Nanny is leaving at 1, please watch Morgan. I’ll meet you at the party. Could you bring Morgan with you when you go?” Peter has not messaged or called you. Aunt May has messaged you, “Hi dear! I’ve already baked up some cherry pies for the party, when are you going to be over to decorate? By the way, Peter went out and is probably patrolling,” with a smiley face and heart. Happy has messaged you, “Hello, I already ordered the catering, and went over the invite list. Are you up yet?” and he also left the voicemail saying, “Hopefully you’re up by the time you get this. Most of the Avengers are coming, except Thor, the Saviors, no wait, the Guardians of whatever they’re called, and Captain Marvel. I’m sure you could figure out why. Give me a call when you’re up.” Done.”

“Shit,” you whine loudly. You throw yourself out of bed and get to your morning routine. You quickly tidy up your room, take a quick shower, go through your skincare routine and get dressed up. You decided to put on some makeup and wear nicer clothes for once given it’s your boyfriend’s birthday.

You look around your room and inhale deeply, “Just that one last thing,” you remind yourself and walk off. After getting what you need, the nanny informs you that she’s leaving. You walk over to Morgan’s room and knock the door before entering, “Hi princess, you ready for Spider-Man’s birthday?”

She turns around, all dressed up in a pretty floral dress, “Hi sissy, yes! Don’t you mean, your friend boy?” she giggles, running up to you.

You roll your eyes playfully, “You mean boyfriend? Yes, c’mon pretty girl. We’re going to go now.”

An hour or so later, you’re making your way over to Aunt May and Peter’s apartment with Morgan in the backseat. You felt bad for not greeting Peter at all today but you decided to make it a part of the surprise. “He still has a tracker in his suit!?” you burst out in laughter as you stop at a red light.

“Seems like Tony didn’t get rid of it before, I don’t blame him,” Happy mutters. “You got everything right? Morgan, Peter’s gifts, the decorations, and your head?”

“Yes Happy,” you glance into your back seat, checking in on Morgan and seeing the piled clutter. “I feel like Santa Clause with a bunch of gifts and an elf in the backseat,” you chuckle. Morgan gasps and makes a silly expression at you that brings a smile to your face.

“Maybe you are with all the cookies you eat,” he jokes.

“You’re one to talk, anyway where’s Peter now?” you ask as you drive off as soon as the light turns green.

“He’s swinging around, I saw the news. He’s interacting with fans and interviewers, a pretty rare case.”

“True, he must be trying to distract himself. Am I the only one who hasn’t greeted him yet?” you ask, nervously biting on your bottom lip.

“Yep.”

“Shoot, well I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Let’s hope so, I’ll see you and Morgan when you both get here. Gotta help May out with the pies.”

“Sure, the pies,” you tease, causing Happy to roll his eyes and end the call.

You feel your heart stop as Peter suddenly gives you a call. You fight the urge to pick up and shower him in reassurance and love, but ignore for the sake of the surprise.

Ten to twenty minutes later, you and Morgan arrive at May and Peter’s apartment. You smile and knock on the door, struggling to hold everything in your arms while holding Morgan’s hand.

“Hello hello, you two,” Aunt May opens the door with a bright smile on her face. She lets you in and helps you out, “Took you long enough.”

“Sorry, I overslept. I wasn’t sure if my gifts were enough,” you pout and kiss her cheek.

“That’s okay. Morgan baby, Happy’s in the kitchen.” May smiles and ruffles Morgan’s hair. Morgan hums and hugs her leg, running off.

“These are all your gifts for him? Sweetheart, it’s his birthday not Christmas,” she giggles. “I’m sure he would love anything you get for him, even if it was a cheap lego set.”

“I know I know, it’s just Peter has been through so much. I feel like he deserves the world,” you say bashfully.

“You’re so cute,” she hums and helps you place the many gifts on a certain table. “Remember, you have been through a lot too.”

“Yes, but today’s his day,” you cross your arms. “Anyway, enough chatter. We should decorate now, everyone’s coming over in an hour right?”

“Yep. I also told Peter to swing around for a while and bring Thai food home at 4. He thinks it’s just going to be him, Happy and I. I told him you have work,” she says, grabbing some decorations.

“Okay, perfect. I feel so bad, I haven’t communicated with him since last morning,” you huff and grab some streamers.

“I’m sure he understands, kid gets busy too,” Happy walks over from the kitchen with Morgan trailing behind him. “Man, are these all your gifts for him?” he glances over at a table filled with only your gifts.

“Y-Yes? Why is that such a bad thing,” you groan.

“It’s not, I think,” he glances at May who gives him a look. He puts his hands up in defense and slowly walks back into the kitchen.

“You’re fine, honey. Also, I love your dress, isn’t that?” she tilts her head.

“Yeah, it’s the dress I was wearing on our first date,” you smile to yourself, glancing down at your cherry red dress. It fit perfectly, not too loose or tight and it had pockets. Something you and Peter were always amused by.

After the three of you finish decorating, the guests begin to arrive. Most of the team showed up and you and Peter’s close friends. You let out a sigh of relief and lean on the fire escape railing, looking out at the city. You glance at your watch, “Almost time.”

“Hey there,” you hear from behind you. You look back and see Happy.

“Hey.”

“You doing alright? Peter’s coming soon,” he says and walks next to you, leaning against the railing.

“I know, I just feel like. I did too much? Too less? I’m not sure, I just wanted this day to be perfect for him especially after last year,” you mutter and glance at Happy with teary eyes.

He smiles sadly and pulls you into a hug, “It’s absolutely perfect. You know, Peter isn’t going to be the only one who’s proud.”

“Who else? You?”

“Well, besides me and a bunch of other people. Your dad,” he murmurs.

You feel your heart tighten and you stifle a cry, stuffing your head into his chest. He sighs and hugs you close, “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. Sometimes I feel like he never left, because everyday I see him in you,” he pulls away, holding your shoulder.

You smile softly and nod, “T-Thank you, Happy really,” you sniffle.

“Of course. You should probably tidy up, your makeup’s running,” he takes a step back.

You laugh half-heartedly, “Alright. Could you tell everyone to get in their places?” you begin to walk towards the apartment.

“Got it,” he nods and follows you back inside.

Your heart was racing, everyone wasn’t sure if he was going to show up at the front door or his room. Happy gives the signal that he’s arrived and everyone goes silent. You feel a slight sense of relief when you hear noises from the front door. If he came through his room, he probably wouldn't be that surprised.

Peter sighs and holds the bag of Thai food in one hand, opening up the door with a key in the other. His senses have been all over the place today and his heart didn’t feel like it was in the right place. He was beyond worried about you, he didn’t even care that it was his birthday. He just wanted to know if you were okay.

He opens the door, calling out for May. “May, I’m home-”

“Surprise!” Everyone appears out from their spots, greeting Peter with bright smiles and confetti.

Peter instantly jumps and places a hand over his heart. “G-Guys!? Bruce? Scott? Wait, Ned? MJ!?” he stammers, looking all over the place.

“Happy birthday, Spidey,” you come out of your hiding spot, smiling warmly at him.

“Oh my god, Y/n,” he breathes out and rushes over to you, pulling you into a hug. You let out a gasp as he picks you up and spins you around. He places you down and hugs you closer. He pulls away and glances at your dress then at you, “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he sighs, kissing your cheek.

You blush at his comment and fiddle with your dress. “Thank you,” you smile, hoping he notices your outfit.

“Wait, isn’t this the dress from our first date?” he holds some of your dress and glances at you. You grin and nod, he sighs happily and pulls you back into a hug.

Everyone reacts sweetly until Flash, who was surprisingly invited yells out, “Get a room!” Everyone instantly glares at him and he shrivels up, smiling sheepishly.

You roll your eyes and Peter ignores him, peppering your face with kisses. “I thought you were mad at me or something, or hurt, or just forgot about me,” he rambles, holding your face.

“Well, luckily none of those are the cases. I just wanted to surprise you,” you hum.

“You planned all this?” he gapes, glancing around his apartment once again.

“Yes, but I had a lot of help,” you hum.

“Friend boy!” Morgan squeals and rushes over, hugging you and Peter’s legs. “Happy birthday,” she beams.

Peter’s eyes soften and his bends down, “Thank you cutie,” he grins.

She squeals and hugs him, “Can you be my friend boy?”

You gasp dramatically, “Morgan, he’s my friend boy.”

“I don’t know babe, Morgan looks amazing in her little princess dress,” he picks up Morgan, holding her close.

You pout and cross your arms. Morgan bubbles happily and wraps her tiny arms around his neck.

To say Peter was overwhelmed with happiness was an understatement. He felt relief, appreciation, love and support. This whole time he was worrying that he had done something wrong when really nothing was wrong and everyone was just hiding and being quiet for his surprise.

After catching up with some of the Avengers and friends and eating dinner all together, it was time for cake and presents.

You couldn’t express how unbelievably happy and emotional you felt for Peter as he stood in front of his cake as everyone sang Happy Birthday to him. His face was filled with pure joy and you wish that could stay on his face forever, because to you, that’s what he deserves and more.

Not much later present time begins and Peter starts to open up everyone’s gifts. You told him to open yours last. You absolutely adored this boy and your heart swelled up every time he held a genuine smile to his face as he opened his gifts. He got up, thanked and hugged every single person who had got him a gift. You truly are smitten for him.

“Who are all these gifts from?” Peter asks, glancing at the huge piles of gifts left. “I thought I had opened everyone’s except Y/n��s already,” he chuckles.

“Those are all mine,” you walk over, sitting next to him.

“Oh, flower,” he mutters softly and pouts out his bottom lip. “You didn’t-”

“Ah, please open them and shut your mouth,” you cross your arms. Everyone laughs in amusement at your sass and watches as Peter begins to open up the gifts.

Peter first opens up the comic books and jars filled with little letters, “Oh my god, you didn’t,” he whimpers happily. “This must’ve cost a fortune,” he holds up the comic books.

“What? All I did was write on little pieces of paper and-”

“Babe.”

“I know! I’m joking, on to the next please,” you coo and kiss his cheek.

He huffs and unravels the next gift, his eyes beginning to glisten with tears. He slowly flips through the pages of the beautiful scrap book you made for him. He comes across a page where it was you, your dad and him in multiple photos. He lets tears slip form his eyes and glances at you with softened eyes, “Y/n,” he mutters.

“Larb you,” you kiss his cheek. He places the scrapbook aside and pulls you into a hug, kissing your forehead.

“I larb you more,” he sighs.

“I thought that was our thing,” May pouts, causing everyone to chuckle at her comment.

“It can be our thing too,” Peter teases. “Is that all?” he sniffles, glancing back at you.

“One more thing,” you smile cheekily.

“Oh man,” he sighs, placing his forehead on your shoulder. “I don’t know if I can take it.”

“Morgan,” you look up, running your hands through Peter’s curls. She grins and grabs the last small box, bringing it to Peter.

He looks up and smiles, silently thanking her. “You want to help me open it?” he asks her. She nods and sits on his lap, helping him pull away the ribbon. As they both do so, the box falls and reveals the gift your mom once gifted your dad, then to you. Peter covers his mouth, “No, I can’t-”

“Peter,” you shake your head.

He sniffs once again, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks as he glances at the glass case with your dad’s arc reactor inside. He glances down at the words surrounding the arc reactor, “Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart,” he sobs.

You glance up seeing that your mom smiles sadly, wiping away some tears. “Happy birthday,” you repeat, kissing his cheek.

“Why are you giving this to me?” he stammers, hugging Morgan back as she hugs him close, nuzzling her head into his neck.

“Mom, Morgan and I already have many parts of dad with us. You don’t have as much and we all know how much he meant to you. You really are a part of our family too Peter, and I felt like you deserved this. Now you can see that his heart also belongs with you,” you smile warmly, cupping his cheek and wiping his tears away.

Everyone watches the heart-touching moment unravel, a sad yet understanding smile appearing on their faces. “I love you. I love all of you, and you,” he pokes Morgan’s nose, causing her to giggle.

“We love you too Peter,” everyone chimes in.

“I love you more,” you whisper, kissing his nose.

“I love you 3000,” Morgan pouts, playing with his shirt. You and Peter look at each other with sad smiles.

“I love you 3000 too.”

tagging some mutuals who might be interested! @ariistotles @cosmicholland @petersholland @tonguetiedholland @theamazingtomholland @tombrina @spideyyeet @toms-gf @peterspideysstuff @chloecreatesfictions @mcdwcman @hollandsrecs @the-salty-asian @fallinfortom @hermayone @allegra-writes @waitimcomingtoo @futuremrspcy @dreamofaprilsblog @t-lostinmendes @musicalkeys @icyhollands @beverlyparkerr @marvelhoesworld

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not-majestic-bluenicorn · 3 years

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TXT Universe Theory: The Dream Chapter

Hello and welcome back to another one of my theories! This theory will be quite long and will take into account everything in the first chapter of TXT’s story. I won’t be doing Minisode 1 or either of the Chaos Chapters yet cause it will give us all a headache if I do, so yes, there will be things missing. Believe me, I know, I’m just pretending like I don’t know anything for the sake of my mind XD Let’s dive into the theory!

The Protagonists

Name: Choi Yeonjun

Keywords: Promise, guilty, sleepless, apricity

Association: Paranoid Park

Metamorphosis: Horns

Songs: Crown, Magic Island

Yeonjun is, perhaps, more relevant than his character wishes he was. Paranoid Park, the book (and perhaps also movie) he’s associated with, talks about a 16-year-old boy who accidentally kills a policeman and tries to cope with it while simultaneously hiding what he did. Yeonjun’s guilt can be seen almost everywhere. His Dream-Self grows horns during Nap of a Star, which are generally associated with evil and destruction, and in Crown he expresses his fear of being evil.

In the teasers for Magic Island he says “I think there’s someone else aside from us #itsmyfault”. And in the teasers for The Dream Chapter: Eternity he adds the hashtags #imscared #itwasjustajoke when revealing his association. He did something that makes him feel guilty. He possibly didn’t kill anyone (I mean, if anyone did, it’s most likely Beomgyu, but that’s not here nor there), but it hasn’t been revealed yet what he did do.

I associate Magic Island with him because it talks about promises and about the Odd Eye Cat, which I will talk about more in detail later, but suffice to say the Odd Eye Cat might have something against Yeonjun. There is a small chance that Yeonjun feels guilty about having forgotten their promise with the Star, since his word is promise. Everyone forgot, but maybe he’s more emotionally aware of it.

Name: Choi Soobin

Keywords: Tomorrow, invisible, understanding, apricity

Association: Le Doulos

Metamorphosis: Elongated ears

Songs: Eternally

Soobin is on the opposite side of the coin with Yeonjun. He too is aware about the promise with the Star, but in a very different way. He is perhaps what we would define as a traditional protagonist, as he can hear the voice of the Star well before anyone else can, even if he can’t remember the promise. The first time we see him perceiving the voice is in Magic Island, that is when he starts to feel separated from the group. He’s still unaware of it, but he knows something that the others don’t and that puts a wall between them. In the Magic Island teaser he uses the hashtag “#IThinkImTheOnlyOneWhosDifferent”, and in the Eternity concept photos he says “Why am I the only one having a hard time?” and “Everything is your fault”. He is also tagged as invisible, which alludes to the fact that he feels distanced from the others, and is also the only one to get no interactions on his posts. The fact that he’s blaming someone might be that he’s aware of the voice or that he knows someone in the group messed up.

Name: Choi Beomgyu

Keywords: Hope, unfair, relief, serenity

Association: The Catcher in the Rye

Metamorphosis: Spines on the back

Songs: ???

Beomgyu is an interesting if confusing character. Based on how he acts in the MVs, he seems to be rather headstrong and confident, much like the main character, Holden, of Catcher in the Rye, a story strongly related to growing up and leaving the innocence of childhood behind. Holden considers adults (and his life) to be quite unfair, doesn’t trust them, and wants to become a protector of the innocence of other children. However, much like Beomgyu, he’s rather headstrong and careless, moving forward without much consideration, which often gets him in trouble. These aspects can be seen reflected on the Magic Island Teaser, where he writes “What’s the problem? Let’s just do it. #rewind #hope #CantTrustAnyone, as well as the Port teasers from Eternity where he says things like “Who saw me that day?”, “We were all together then, right?” and “I don’t think this is the world I used to know” (which is tagged with “unfair”), and uses the hashtags #NothingToHide, #IsItMyFault?”. We do see him start the fire in both the Magic Island Teaser and MV, which might hint to the fact that he feels it’s unfair to blame him when they were all there, and he doesn’t actually believe himself to be at fault. He was just taking care of them.

Name: Kang Taehyun

Keywords: Clue, suspicious, breathe, serenity

Association: Philip Marlowe

Metamorphosis: Star eye

Songs: ???

Taehyun’s character is observant and prefers to stay on the sidelines to catch every detail before casting his judgement. In the Magic Island Teaser he says “There’s got to be a way out” with the hashtag #LetsThinkAboutIt, plus, in the Port Teasers from Eternity, he keeps a reasonable suspicion on his team members about who’s truly at fault and uses the hashtags #EverybodyLies and #IWantToKnowTheTruth. This ties in well with his associated character, Philip Marlowe, the private detective. Both characters keep a distance and analyze everything carefully, never resorting to violence. It is worth noting that he keeps Yeonjun’s teddy bear at the end of Run Away, which in the teasers is labelled as “clue”. Taehyun is always observing.

Name: Huening Kai

Keywords: Secret, lonely, longing, apricity

Association: Stand by me

Metamorphosis: Wings

Songs: Nap of a star

Huening Kai is perhaps one of the most complicated and mysterious characters in the story, since his role isn’t as established as the others. He’s constantly out of the loop about the situation that is happening, which is demonstrated by phrases like “What the hell is happening?” (Magic Island Teaser) and “What happened?” (‘Port’ Teasers) as well as the hashtags #OnTheSidelines and #IKnowNothing, as well as two of his keywords being secret and lonely. His associated media is also interesting, as Stand by me talks about a man remembering the trip he did with three of his friends when they were 12 to find the body of a missing boy. At the end of the movie, the main character Gordie, recalls his friends and comments on how much he’ll always miss them and how he’s never had friendships like that again. This raises the question if perhaps one of the boys would be the dead kid the others are trying to find. Kai being kept out of the loop could point to him being it, as he’s always trying to reach for them but can’t quite do it, however it could also be argued that either Yeonjun or Soobin could fill that space as well.

The Setting: The Real World vs The Dream World

Back on the very early BTS theories, a lot of us didn’t think time travel or time loops were the answer, but it turned out we were wrong. At first, when working on this theory, I wasn’t sure where I should draw the distinction between reality and fantasy. In the end, I’ve decided that everything is real but in different ways, and I’ve decided to make the distinction between the Real World and the Dream World; after all, this is called the Dream Chapter.

The Real World is, you guessed it, pretty much just our normal world. Nothing magical or physics-law-breaking to be seen here. The Dream World is, well, a world made of dreams. But remember I said everything is real (I know the names I gave the two realities contradict this, hit me up if you have better suggestions). Whatever happens in the Dream World is just as real as whatever happens in the Real World, it’s just in a different plane of existence. It might also be of interest to note that sometimes these worlds blend.

So, if everything is real in the Dream World, what is real in the Real World? This is a complicated question because even our characters struggle telling reality apart from the dreams, especially because the dreams aren’t just dreams. The fires that occur in Run Away and Can’t You See Me are very much symbolic, but them jumping into the Dream World through the subway in Magic Island is real. The visions they have in Eternally aren’t happening in the Real World either. It’s just a matter of what is supported through other clues and pieces of evidence, which I’ll try to provide.

The Story

So, you know, what is like… happening? Everything is extremely confusing and it took me a while to understand that pretty much all videos are happening like, at the same time? As in, it’s the same event but from different perspectives and slightly different intervals of time. So let’s try to lay down a cohesive timeline.

It all starts with the events narrated in Nap of a Star. When they were children, the five of them (or well, maybe I should say six) met through the Dream world and became such good friends that they promised to meet there again. However, as it happens, they grew up and forgot about it, meeting once again many years later through the school and the company without remembering each other.

While growing up, they have gone through many different things that have hurt and changed them, which manifested in their dream bodies as the “imperfections” that they all have. I believe these imperfections are tied to each of their characters: horns tend to represent evil, which ties in with Yeonjun feeling guilty and blaming himself for everything. Kai’s wings look angel-like, which fits his sweet personality who helps the “demon” (Yeonjun) and is always believing the best about his friends. Beomgyu is very defensive, which translates into his porcupine-like spines. Soobin is a good listener (plus he’s literally the first one to hear the Star’s voice) and Taehyun is good at observing the others. So these are all manifestations of how life has shaped them to be who they are now.

They become very good friends once again and get along well, nice! However, we know things are not perfect, and they have to confront a series of personal conflicts. Especially Yeonjun, who’s so overcome by the negativity in his life that he starts a fire that can’t be put out in Run Away. This fire is metaphorical, and represents all the pain and stress he’s been dealing with. So what do they do? They try to find an escape from all their troubles.

There’s two ways this could’ve happened: the first one is that they stumble with the Dream World by accident on the Run Away MV when they go in through the pool. This seems fitting because of their reactions. After that they research it and Soobin discovers that there’s a secret magical entrance at a train station, as we can see in the Sanctuary Photo Teasers from the Magic comeback in the official BigHit website. The other option is that this accidental discovery didn’t happen and they simply researched. This would turn their visit in Run Away into a “summary” of sorts of their first impression of the place.

[Translation:

Soobin: I saw how to find the hidden magic platform?

Soobin: When you close and open your eyes there, your dream becomes reality

Taehyun: Woah, cool

Taehyun: (not sure about this one) for real?

Soobin: Should we go together?]

Either way, they get there. Of course, as shown by the door being set on fire at the end of Run Away when Yeonjun looks at it, his worries aren’t entirely gone, but at least they’re under control now, or so it seems. This part of the video also ties in with the end of Nap of a Star. All of the children come together to help the “monster” and they reunite at the Dream World once again, awakening the Star.

After this, though, weird things begin to happen. Someone or something is trying to reach out to them, and causes them to have really strange dreams. This entity, presumably the Star as marked by the pieces of dialogue, even follows them to their practice room, and keeps begging them to remember them. Yes, I think the Practice Room Ghost and the Star are the same character (and I also think they represent MOA, in a way).

[Translation: Remember my name.]

Here’s where the visions in Eternally come into play. The individual vision each of them has is, physically speaking, nothing more than that: a vision or dream. So they start having these visions, and some of them, especially Soobin who keeps hearing the Star’s voice, start doubting their reality. Plus, weird things start happening in their practice room, so no doubt they end up hearing about the Practice Room Ghost.

They have a conversation about it on the subway, and Soobin goes to mention he had a weird dream but then he backtracks. Obviously, he’s talking about the vision we see in Eternally, because he even says he always wakes up crying from it. In a split second, they decide to stop at the Magic Island using the method that Soobin found previously, and they go have fun there.

[Translation:

Yeonjun: Did you hear about the practice room’s mirror ghost?

Beomgyu: *sland for shivering* A ghost? Wow

Taehyun: I heard about it. There’s no ghosts, you’re just tired and saw wrong.

Soobin: I’ve had weird dreams lately *cries* Maybe it was because I’m tired...

Kai: Did you have a scary dream again?

Soobin: (deleted message) In the dream we...

Yeonjun: Ah, I shouldn’t have said anything.

Beomgyu: What’s scary about this? If there’s a real ghost let’s go and check at night *laughs*

Kai: Hyungs, stop talking about scary things please *cries*

Taehyun: Beomgyu hyung is joking about this too??

Yeonjun: Should we just go to Ttukseom?]

Naturally, things go wrong, what else were we expecting? Their antics end up setting the magic forest on fire, until they end up destroying the whole Dream World, and it leads us to the start of Eternally. One thing I believe to be very interesting is how, when they’re trapped in the storm, Soobin keeps touching his ears, Kai touches his chest like in Nap of a Star, and Beomgyu touches his shoulder. Yeonjun and Taehyun aren’t properly shown but they probably also touch the affected places.

I would argue that Can’t You See Me? is also just a reinterpretation of the conflict they’re going through, both within themselves but also as a group, because they did just destroy their secret place. This is pretty much where the current timeline ends. I’m a bit uncertain if they’re trapped in the Dream World or outside of it without being able to go back, because Taehyun does mention wanting to go back in the Port teasers, but he doesn’t specify where. I want to bet that they’re trapped in the Dream World but I do need to analyze the Chaos Chapter better to decide that.

The Practice Room Star

Yes, this is a play on words, as I fully believe that the Practice Room Ghost and the Star are both the same entity. When they were kids, they made a promise with the Star, but they’ve forgotten it with time, and now that they have reunited and found their way into the Dream World again, the Star wants them back. The Star is probably a very powerful being, since they are able to interfere with the Real World to reach to them, enough to make them confused about their own reality. Their bond seems to be stronger with Soobin, who’s even able to hear them reach out on occasion. It’s uncertain what exactly it is that they want.

The Visions (Eternally MV)

The night of the last day & Song of a Star (Soobin’s visions)

Eternally starts at the end of Magic Island, with the Dream World completely in ruins. Eternally happens before Magic Island, so this dream Soobin has at the beginning is nothing but a prophecy. In the dream, he is holding a book, which we also see Beomgyu with. I think this book is the one they got the information about the Dream World during the Magic era, since the cover is very similar to the symbols we can see in Run Away.

I believe Song of a Star is the Star reaching out to him. He’s the first one to be able to hear the Star, as shown in Magic Island, and he also references the Star’s song in teachers. The kid he sees is probably the version of himself that first entered the Dream World as a kid (or maybe Kai lol), which might be why he wants to cry everytime he has that dream: it’s the nostalgia for a time he left behind.

Room No. 17 (Beomgyu’s vision)

While I’m not sure what the number 17 means yet, and my research on numerology yielded no results, this vision is particularly interesting to me. Through it we get to see Beomgyu’s more ‘brash’ nature as he defends the book that Soobin was seen holding previously. If that book is their key to the Dream World, then it makes a lot of sense that he’s trying to protect it. I’m not sure who the other person trying to stop him is, but it does kinda look like things didn’t go well for them after Beomgyu transformed.

Girl of Eternity (Huening Kai’s vision)

Perhaps the strangest of names for visions, this clearly represents how the rest of the members keep moving far away from Kai and become unreachable to him. He mentions several times how he’s clueless about what’s going on and wants to understand, but the rest of them continue to keep him in the dark, so he feels a distance growing between them, which might increase in the future.

Moratorium of Rest (Taehyun’s vision)

Taehyun’s vision is perhaps the most shocking of all, as it shows us Yeonjun sitting on a chair and covered in spines and purple “paint”. Yeonjun is sitting in the middle of a field of all sorts of violets, and Taehyun tries calling him before realizing the condition Yeonjun is in.

Promise (Yeonjun’s vision)

Yeonjun shares the misfortune with Taehyun of seeing his lifeless corpse, except his vision is much less artistic about it. After finding his body, he sees a fire from the corner of his eye, and right next to it, you guessed it, the odd-eyed cat. His vision in particular finishes with the phrase “I thought it was salvation, then.” And here is where things turn south.

Yeonjun’s promise and the Odd-Eye Cat

I have a very strong reason to believe that Yeonjun is in danger of dying an awful death, and it’s only partially because of the visions. Since Nap of a Star, Yeonjun has been followed by the vigilant eyes of the Odd-Eye Cat almost religiously, and it usually never brings good situations with it. It’s bad enough that the neck cut in Nap of a Star is replicated in Taehyun’s vision, that Soobin sees Yeonjun all bloody in Eternally, and that both Yeonjun and Taehyun see the former dead, but there might be some external clues that hint towards Yeonjun’s upcoming demise.

In the official BigHit website for TxT’s discography, where we found out that Soobin researched and figured out the way to go into the Dream World, we can find a picture of Yeonjun reading a book. In English, this book is called The Alchemaster’s Apprentice. This book narrates the story of a black cat who sells its soul to a sort of wizard in exchange for food, since he’s starving to death. The wizard agrees to fatten the cat for a month, after which it will kill it and use its fat for magical purposes.

The cat in this book doesn’t have heterochromia, however I found out some pagan groups in Eastern Europe believe that a different colored eye was a witch’s eye, meaning that the eye has literally been swapped out with a witch’s. I fully believe that Yeonjun made a deal he shouldn’t have, and the Odd-Eye Cat has been sent by whoever made the deal with him to check on him. It might just be that Yeonjun’s time is going to run out very soon, and the visions are trying to warn everyone of that.

Conclusion

Magic exists and TxT might have bitten more than they can chew because they wanted to run away from the problems of real life (relatable). Now, the Star that they made a promise with is trying to reach them, and maybe warn them about something that’s coming. The fact is that they’re not safe, especially Yeonjun, and things might turn south very quickly very soon.

I’ll try to come back soon with the Minisode 1 + Chaos Chapter Theory update, but for now, if you liked this, please interact with the post and check out my other theories here!

#txt #tomorrow by together #tomorrow x together #the star seekers #txt theory #tomorrow x together theory #tomorrow by together theory #txt yeonjun #txt soobin #txt beomgyu #txt taehyun #txt kai #kpop #kpop theory #bluenicorn does theories

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tallyovie-writes · 3 years

Text

Arsonists's Lullaby R.A.B.

SONGFIC

Summary: Regulus finds a soul like his in a person he would have never guessed

Author's note: unedited, after 3 exams, 1 am, please be kind I know it starts slow but there will be more parts

1.6k words

When I was a child, I heard voices

Some would sing and some would scream

You soon find you have few choices

I learned the voices died with me

At 5 years old, Regulus Arcturus Black learned that family did not always mean blood. He had yet to figure out the true meaning of the word, but he knew what he had was a dark echo of an utopist dream.

His childhood was dominated by a gray filter, muffling the sounds, numbing the emotions, stretching the minutes forever. On certain days, the lights grew darker, shadowing the world into almost black. Black like his name, black like the soul he will grow up to have. The ticking of the clocks were too loud, the walls too high, his mothers steps on the creaking stairs too firm in a world of doubt and uncertainty.

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours

Staring into open flame

Something in it had a power

Could barely tear my eyes away

Sometimes, for split seconds, burgundy took over the darkness. The lifelessness in the manor disappeared, and compensating for life's previous absence it channelled all of its heat into hate. Hate for an empty mother from Sirius, hate for a son who did not fit traditions from his mother.

Hate from Regulus, who possessed the survival instinct of laying low and keeping to himself but his brother did not. And Regulus resented him in these moments. For all the plates in million pieces, previously broken on the wall, for all the harsh words leaving their father's mouth, for all the clever little punishments their mother put them through. Them, because getting caught in the crossfire of a traditional Black "family" argument meant everyone's suffering.

It was a flame barely extinguishable. It meant the only display of emotions aside from the rare brotherly moments he shared with Sirius.

Emotions lead to addiction. And if anger is the only feeling fuelled, darkness starts to grow.

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash

That fire burned a self preservation so deep in him, that Regulus recognized he needed power in order to make it in this world. Power to stay strong, make it through between his ambitious peers and most importantly to guard himself. The blatant, headstrong bravery Sirius took upon arriving at Hogwarts made school holidays a hellish wartime at home.

Regulus learned not to engage. The moment the edges of his self-made cell threatened to break, he carefully tucked in his emotions once again. He didn't want to cut out feeling at all, he deemed that too dangerous for his liking. No. He just didn't let his emotions get the best of him. A man ruled by his feelings is a terrifying sight. He mentally injected himself with an anaesthetic in public, and behind four walls he let himself carefully examine them. It wasn't easy. The tangled web of emotional strings, numbed most of the time, screamed for air. Screamed for understanding, for letting go, for caring. But he cut those last remaining ties with love the moment Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor.

When I was 16, my senses fooled me

Thought gasoline was on my clothes

I knew that something would always rule me

I knew the scent was mine alone

At 16 years old Regulus Arcturus Black saw a way in the darkness. He didn't dare call it a glimmer of hope. Hope was a privilege only offered to the good and divine, to the pure and just. He was neither, he thought.

Perhaps he was right. For now. But fate has a way of changing the tides and replacing the figures on the chessboard.

He has long lost the map to his emotions. They were carefully tucked away in a forgotten pocket somewhere around his heart, but as one man, he couldn't untangle them alone. Not like he wanted to.

His salvation arrived in the face of a charismatic leader. He had answers to Regulus's questions that he long sought to find. Ever since he was a child he associated power with stability and control over one's life, and this stranger offered power on a silver plate. He couldn't have been worse. Of course in hindsight, everything seems more clear.

But as he was shrouded in darkness, he chose to become a part of the dark as well.

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash

One of the main problems in Regulus's logic was that he thought that being a Death Eater would solve all of his insecurities and instability. At first it seemed to work, building a new world by idealistic wishes and getting rid of the dangers life proposed helped setting his nerves right. But as the curls of the smoke threatened to suffocate him, his decision pressed hard on his shoulder.

He knew there was no out of this. The Dark Lord's silver tongue has lost its magic, he could detect the empty lies, the manipulation, the sinister force. He could detect it, because it takes one to know another, and he was a master in the arts of manipulation and lying. Why wouldn't he be? He spent all of his childhood perfecting the image of the pureblood son his family wanted him to be. And he did not fail. Keeping it up during Hogwarts has become a natural instinct, but also demolished his true self.

What was the true soul of Regulus Arcturus Black?

When I was a man I thought it ended

When I knew love's perfect ache

But my peace has always depended

On all the ashes in my wake

He thought he would never find it out. But then you came along and wrecked his carefully planted walls. At first he hated you for that.

You were obnoxious and the true image of what a pureblood offspring should be. What he should be.

He would have never thought that someone could be a better liar and manipulator than him. Regulus needed years of careful examination to see the cracks in your armour and the rare slips in character. At first, he was sure that his mind was imagining things that were not there. After years of reading his slytherin peers, your occasional un-slytherin-like behaviour peaked his curiosity.

One day he was sitting at the Slytherin table when an idea struck. You didn't sit far away, so you had to be pulled into the conversation too.

"Snape!" Regulus called to the oily haired seventh year. "Heard He recruited you. You finally pulled your head out of your ass?"

Of course he has seen the err of his decision by now, so Regulus asked him this for two reasons.

One: he had to keep up appearances.

Two: he wanted to see how you reacted.

He had been spending the last few weeks noticing your subtle icks regarding certain subjects. So far his theory seemed to prove true.

On the outside an appraising look sat on your face.

But Regulus learned to discover the signs. And he was once again right as he noticed the tip of your ring finger hardly pushed against your thumb nail, leaving a mark. Subtle, but still a tell tale sign of someone who is not fully on board with the subject.

One day he decided to corner you.

"I know the game you are playing" he didn't mean to sound so threatening, but it came out like that.

A snake doesn't crack under pressure, so you looked him in the eye and let a sly smile spread across your face.

"Please, do enlighten me. What game am I playing? Or is it better if I ask which game of mine you are referring to? I am a busy woman."

He let your comment fly.

"I noticed the tip of your ring finger is bruised. I would bandage it. The past few weeks you must have been careless and cut it. Wouldn't want any infection, would you?" he looked deep into your eyes, transferring the other meaning of his words.

You knew what he meant. Lately, you spotted the Black boy's eyes on you. In the Great Hall, during classes, those grey orbs never left you. You thought he harbored a silly little crush on you. Now you realized your mistake. The question however remained. What will he do with this information?

You are getting careless, if I noticed, someone might too. Someone you wouldn't want to notice. His eyes said.

Your House was not meant for easy friendships. The rising of The Dark Lord supported a lot of back stabbings for meaningless praises, so you had to be careful.

With a last nod he turned his back on you and walked away, leaving you with only frustration and more questions. Could the Slytherin Silver Boy share your views? Maybe when Hell freezes over.

Regulus knew, he should have said; I know the game you are playing, because I am playing it too.

All you have is your fire

And the place you need to reach

Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash

Fate sat on her chair and watched the two young snakes step on their shared path. Neither of them knew yet what this little encounter will set into motion.

But Fate knew and mourned the loss of another great story that has not even started, but was already told.

She sipped her wine and caressed the head of one of her demons.

#regulus black images #regulus black fanfiction #regulus x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black x y/n #regulus black x reader #regulus black x oc #regulus arcturus black #sirius black #tom riddle #the noble and most ancient house of black #hozier #arsonists's lullaby #true hero of slytherin #slytherin aesthetic #harry potter #fanfiction #songfic

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airashisakura · 3 years

Text

Pregnancy Diaries

Chapter 6 - Sakura's Birthday

Written for

SakuraHarunoBPBirthday2021 @sasusakublankperiodweek

Prompts - Sakura gets sick on her birthday and Sasuke forgets her birthday

and

@harunosakuraweek Day 8 - Sakura's Birthday

Rating: General audience

Characters : Haruno Sakura, Sasuke Uchiha and Aoda

Summary : When Sakura gets sick and Sasuke forgets her birthday because the expectant parents were too busy panicking

FFN AO3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Sasuke's eyes were sad as he fixed the blanket on Sakura's body. Though spring had arrived, it was still cold... Or, Sasuke thought, maybe it was because of where they were staying. Sasuke muttered a curse under his breath, because staying at one of Orochimaru's hideouts was equal parts hilarious and dangerous.

Had he been seriously out of his mind when he suggested the idea? He rubbed his temples, berating himself for his decision. The dark dungeons were the last place on the earth where he wanted to bring his ailing wife.

He slumped on the chair beside the bed where Sakura was resting. He covered his eyes with his lone arm, sighing with frustration. Every inch of his body felt tired after all they had been through. He needed sleep, but he couldn’t.

They had stopped abruptly when Sakura told him that she couldn’t continue the mission in her current state. While they had been heading for Konoha, they were delayed by frequent stops because of Sakura's sore feet and nausea. Sasuke made sure to take the safest path, which turned out to be the longest one.

Although his brain wanted to hurry as fast as he could in situations like that, he kept control over his pace. Every wince on Sakura’s face made him anxious, and even when he used Susanoo, he was extra careful.

It was when they were crossing Otogakure that Sasuke found that Sakura was too tired to walk even an inch, and his own chakra reserves were getting dangerously low. The best he could arrange was to find one of Orochimaru’s hideouts nearby and to rest before they could continue again.

Sasuke lifted off his arm and looked at Sakura with concern. He watched as she breathed slowly, but painfully. Her skin was paler than before — a tone he had never seen before on her. He couldn't blame her; Sakura had been vomiting after almost everything she ate.

His eyes fell onto the cause of her suffering — her heavily pregnant belly where the future of his clan rested. The side of his eyes crinkled as he rested his palm there, feeling his child's vibrant chakra. He couldn’t explain how he’d felt when Karin had mentioned that Sakura would be delivering the baby soon. He could relate to Sakura’s excitement to meet their newborn, how she had stuffed half of his satchel with the clothes for their unborn child.

However, his happiness was short-lived when he remembered he had something in his satchel that Sakura was unaware of. When he saw a messenger hawk from Konoha approaching him a few days ago, he had expected it to be some official letter. However, as he read through it, he realised the letters were for Sakura — birthday wishes for her. He had shoved them inside his satchel with a big lump of guilt because he had almost forgotten Sakura's birthday.

How could he? He had been asking the same question from the day he had received their friend’s letters. How could he be so inconsiderate to forget a simple thing for the woman who loved him without any hesitation? Uchiha Sasuke didn't know what infuriated more — his naive decision to let Sakura travel through her pregnancy, or his failure to remember such a small thing.

"Anata, is something bothering you?" Sakura opened her eyes weakly.

Sasuke didn't answer and looked at Sakura with an expression that told Sakura he was bothered about her.

Sakura shifted uncomfortably under the sheets before she propped herself up on her wobbly arms. Sasuke got off his seat hurriedly and placed his palm on her back, providing her leverage to sit up. She smiled meekly before flinching at the building ache in her body. The medic knew it was her body’s way of preparing to let the baby out, but she wondered how she could make her terrified husband understand that.

"You know, Anata, I'm fine. These…" Sakura flinched again as she fisted at the side of her belly, clutching her garment. "These symptoms are totally normal."

Sakura inhaled sharply, straightening her back in an attempt to dissipate the pain. She didn't want to admit that she was freaking out too, so she held herself calm. Sakura tried to stretch her legs to relieve her aching muscles and spoke again, "This is a little painful…"

While Sasuke was helping her, Sakura fell a mild contraction and she yelped.

"Ouch! That hurts. It feels like someone is stabbing kunais at my back." Sakura finally gave up her attempt to keep a brave face. "It feels like my bladder is leaking, and I smell like puke."

Although Sasuke knew he could have been punched considering her bizarre mood swings, he scoffed. Sakura didn't quite succeed in assuring him, but she lifted off his grim mood.

However Sasuke being amused didn’t help the expectant mother and she snarled, "Shannaroo! I'm freaking! Helping to deliver babies and actually delivering one myself are so different."

Throughout their travels, Sakura had never been the one to complain about anything. Sasuke rubbed her back sympathetically and he realised she had been holding back more than he imagined.

"It's just…" Sakura paused, letting the pain subside before she admitted, "It's just that I don't want to give birth here."

Sasuke frowned, his hand abruptly stopping. He knew what Sakura was talking about. He also didn’t want his child to be born in the same place where he had once sought power for revenge. Going back to Konoha would have been the best option, but he was helpless to change that now. All he could do was to trust his previous teammate from Team Taka.

"Karin," Sasuke stated, trying to make a point, but he wasn't sure how he was supposed to assure Sakura now.

As if reading Sasuke's thought, Sakura said before shaking her head sideways, “I trust Karin-san.”

It would have been easier for Sakura if she had been in Konoha, being helped by Shizune and others to bring her baby into the world. She’d been tense initially when she realized that it wouldn’t be possible for them to make it back to the village in time. She thought about the interaction she had with Karin earlier — the formation of a mutual bond — that had marked the beginning of their friendship.

“Actually she has been taking care of me more than I could ask from her,” Sakura said, smiling.

Sasuke's eyes softened. However he remained silent, because he could sense now that the reason for her hesitation was the same as his own.

Sakura’s eyes wandered through the dimly-lighted room as her eyes reflected worry, “This place gives me the creeps.”

Although Sasuke tried not to visibly flinch, she could tell by Sasuke’s expression that it bothered him too.

After a few moments of silence, Sakura spoke, "Sorry, I didn't want to trouble you."

She cupped Sasuke’s cheek, and Sasuke accepted the warmth of her loving touch. He wanted to see that smile on her face more and decided to deliver the birthday letters to Sakura in order to change the mood. He got off the bed, before saying, “I’ve something for you.”

As Sasuke dug inside his satchel to find the letters, he heard Sakura chirp, “What is it, Sasuke-kun?”

He felt a tinge of sadness as he held the papers in his hand, because he didn't even have a token to offer. Like always, he was incapable of giving her anything. It was Sakura who had given him her love, a home, and now a family.

“Sasuke-kun? Hurry up and come here,” Sakura pouted.

Sasuke smirked at his wife’s impatience. He handed the letters to her, as he sat opposite, facing her.

“Letters? For me?” She gasped as she hastily unfolded a letter. She squinted, recognising Naruto’s messy writing which read, Happy Birthday.

Sakura’s eyes widened in surprise when she realised she had forgotten her own birthday. She was about to say something, but she stopped. A wave of emotions hit her when she realized their baby would be born a few days after her birthday.

Sakura whispered, wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes, “You remembered, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke didn’t want to disappoint her, but he didn’t want to lie to Sakura either. He averted his gaze from her before saying, “No, I don’t even have something to give you.” He shut his eyes and with a heavy heart, he apologised, “I’m really sorry, Sakura.”

“You have already given me a gift,” Sakura said sincerely, her voice full of love.

Sasuke’s puzzled mismatched eyes met with Sakura’s green.

She blushed before interlacing his fingers with hers and placing them on her belly.“And that too, a precious one,” she cooed.

Sasuke was at loss of word, but he still smiled. The guilt that had been plaguing him since the letters had arrived was dissolved by his wife’s simple words.

“Now, if you could, please read these for me,” Sakura ordered Sasuke, keeping her voice authoritative. She waved the letters in front of his eyes and added, yawning, “because I am too tired.”

Sasuke smirked. Though he would ordinarily be annoyed with Naruto’s writing, he said, “O-tanjoubi omedetou, Sakura.”

#SakuraHarunoBPBirthday #SakuraHarunoBPBirthday 2021 #SakuraWeek2021 #sakuraweek2021 #Sakura Week #ss fic #SasuSaku #sasusaku fic #sakura haruno #sakura uchiha #pregnant sakura #Pregnancy Diaries #sasuke uchiha #filling the gaps

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likeahorribledream · 3 years

Text

The One That Got Away

Chapter 2: James Buchanan Barnes

Summary: Bucky and Charlie spend some time alone, getting to know each other. All goes well until Bucky gets some news that he hoped never to get.

Word count: 3.6k

TW: Fluff, angst, mentions of: war, fights, blood, injuries, wounds.

Summary | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |

The idea of dancing had long been forgotten, Charlie, Steve and Bucky spent the rest of the night sitting in their booth talking about everything that they could think of. They couldn’t stop smiling or laughing, their cheeks and stomachs hurt from the muscles being overused but none of them cared. They were having such a great time.

Still smiling from a joke Steve had just told, Charlie turned to Bucky while pointing at the blonde sitting next to her.

‘’Has he always picked fight with every guy he met, or is it new?’’

Bucky snorted, shaking his head with a smile on his face.

‘’If you only knew.’’ He said, looking at Steve. ‘’He’s been doing this for as long as I can remember. That’s how we became friends actually. The school year had just started, some kid made fun of him and Steve just raised his tiny fists and challenged him to a fight. Literally challenged him. Like he was in a Western or somethin’. We were 7 at the time, andthe other kid was HUGE compared to Steve. I couldn’t just do nothing so I stepped in and we’ve been best friends ever since.’’

‘’He wasn’t that big’’ Steve mumbled while frowning, which made Bucky laugh.

‘’Sure, pal. Whatever helps you sleep at night.’’ Steve rolled his eyes at his friend’s answer.

‘’Bucky always steps in before I can do anything. I would have kicked that kid’s ass, I just know it.’’

Charlie and Bucky exchanged a look before bursting into laughter. She patted Steve on the shoulder and smiled at him.

‘’Oh, Stevie. Even Iknow that’s not true, and I’ve only known you for a few months.’’ Which only made Steve frown more. He crossed his arms over his chest, almost pouting.

Charlie shook her head slightly, smiling fondly at her new friend’s child-like attitude. She kissed his cheek quickly and whispered a quick apology, telling him she was sure he would have won against that other kid to make him feel better.

The blonde blushed at the kiss and smiled.

Bucky looked at their exchange and felt a little bit of jealously creeping up when he saw her kiss his best friend’s cheek. He quickly pushed down the feeling, clearing his throat and going back to telling other stories about his and Steve’s friendship throughout the years.

It was around midnight when they decided to call it a night and left the pub.

The breeze that hit them as soon as they stepped outside felt nice.

The pub was so packed with people that it had gotten beyond hot.

Charlie was about to say goodnight and start walking back to her place when Bucky motioned his head in the general direction of where she was headed.

‘’Come on, we’ll walk you home.’’

Steve nodded to what Bucky said and the three of them started walking.

They stopped once they were at Charlie’s front door.

She hugged her friend goodnight and then turned to James. She smiled at him, kissed his cheek and wished him a happy birthday once again before making her way to the door.

She unlocked it, stepped inside and wave them goodbye before closing the door.

Steve smirked when he saw Bucky blush slightly at the kiss, but didn’t say anything.

Before the men went their separate ways to go home, Steve gave his friend the gift he had gotten him and waved him good night.

That night both Charlie and Bucky went to sleep with a small smile on their lips, thinking about one another and hoping they would get to see each other again, soon.

Charlie was back working behind her desk, answering calls, on Monday.

Her week of shadowing nurse Jones was over, sadly. She had loved it so much and was looking into taking nursing classes and Jones was more than happy to help her take the next step.

On Tuesday, Charlie had just gotten back from her lunch when the front door of the clinic opened. At the sound of the door, Charlie looked up and wasn’t surprised in the slightest when she saw Steve walking in.

What she wasn’t expecting was Bucky following right behind him.

‘’If it isn’t our favorite patient.’’ Jones said, looking at the blonde. ‘’What is it today?’’

Charlie got up and approached Steve, looking him over. She frowned slightly and raised an eyebrow.

‘’Are you ok? Because you don’t look hurt.’’ She kept looking him over, all she saw were the bruises that were already there last week.

There were no fresh bruises or wounds. Steve just shrugged.

‘’I got into a tiny fight, Bucky was right behind me so the other guy didn’t really get any good punches in before Buck chased him away. I’m totally fine, but Bucky wanted to make sure I was ok.’’He rolled his eyes at how dramatic his best friendwas being.

Steve hadn’t put up much of a fight when James had pushed for him to go to the clinic telling Steve they had to make sure he was ok. He knew that going to the clinic had nothing to do with his possible injuries and everything to do with the girl working the front desk.

Another girl took over the phones for Charlie while she went into nurse Jones’ office with the boys.

Steve went directly to take a seat on the small table in the middle of the office. His table as nurse Jones liked to call it, teasing him because of all the times he had came in over the last few months.

He rarely got seriously hurt but after the sprained ankle, Steve liked going to the clinic and getting checked out. It was a way for him to see his new friend and he really loved Jones. She reminded him of his mother and liked to be around her. Usually Jones would have told Steve to stop coming in unless he was really injured but everyone at the clinic was very fond of him and didn’t mind whenever he came in.

Charlie had been put on ‘’Steve Duty’’ as they called it, meaning that whenever he came in she would be the one to assess his injuries and if she saw something serious she had to go get a nurse or a doctor.

She pointed to the chair in the corner while closing the door behind Bucky.

‘’You can sit over there if you want.’’ She smiled at him before walking to Steve.

‘’I’m telling you, I’m fine.’’ Steve fussed while Charlie was examining him, turning his head slowly side to side, patting him down gently, limb by limb, to see if anything hurt and making sure that every bone was where it was supposed to be.

She hadn’t found a single thing wrong with him and sighed in relief. She took a few steps backwards and looked at Steve who was getting down from the table.

‘’Told ya I was fine’’ he said at the same time his feet touched the ground.

‘’You know, one of these days you’re gonna have to fight me.’’ She pointed a finger at him. ‘’Cuz if you don’t stop getting into trouble I’m the one who’s going to kick your ass.’’

She tried to keep a straight face and really tried to look menacing. It could have worked, but Charlie was such a sweet girl that it was impossible to take her threat seriously.

Both Steve and Bucky started laughing. Charlie looked at them and started laughing too, knowing very well how non-threatening she was.

Bucky stood up from the chair he had sat on and walked towards Steve and Charlie.

‘’It’s alright Doll, I’ll kick his ass for you.’’ losing his smile, throwing a death stare at his friend.

He looked a lot more menacing than she did.

‘’Thank you.’’ She laughed, sticking out her tongue at Steve.

‘’If I had known you two were going to team up against me, I wouldn’t have introduced the two of you.’’ Steve said, sticking out his tongue back at Charlie.

They laughed and then Charlie clapped her hands together, making both men jumped.

‘’Are you both free this weekend? I want to bring you somewhere!’’ She said, excited.

They hadn’t made any plans, and agreed to go with her and decided to meet Saturday in front of Charlie’s house and from there they would walk together.

The rest of the week went by painfully slow. Steve hadn’t come back, which was extremely surprising but comforting to know he hadn’t gotten hurt again.

On Saturday morning Charlie got up and ready, ate her breakfast and went outside to wait for the boys.

They finally came around the corner, Steve looking like his usual chipper self while Bucky looked a little... grumpy. He clearly wasn’t a morning person.

‘’Good morning!’’ She greeted them once they had reached her.

‘’ ‘morning.’’ Bucky mumbled.

Charlie couldn’t help herself and laughed.

‘’It’s 10 am, how are you so tired still?’’

Bucky only shrugged as an answer and they started walking. Letting him wake up slowly, Charlie and Steve talked among themselves looking at their friend once in a while to make sure he was still following/awake.

‘’So, where are we going?’’

‘’You’ll see Stevie. Patience.’’ She grinned.

They walked for all of 10 minutes when they finally stopped in front of a tiny store. It was hidden between two bigger stores, so hidden that if you didn’t know it was there you could easily miss it. There was no sign, no name just books in the tiny window.

‘’Welcome to my little piece of heaven.’’ Charlie said while opening the door all excited.

The moment you stepped into the bookstore, you were hit by a strong smell of new and old books. It was one of the things that Charlie loved about this store.

She waved at the woman behind the register and brought the boys to the back of the store, where the shelves were.

Bucky seemed to have perked up at the sight of all the books.

The trio started walking around, looking at different books and reading a few pages here and there. Even though it wasn’t a library, they whispered the whole time they were there.

They spent an hour walking around, picking up books and putting them on the counter near the register.

‘’Let’s remember that we have to carry those books back, on foot’’ Steve reminded them while laughing.

Charlie pouted a little before putting a couple books back on the shelves, making a mental note to come back in a few days to buy them.

Once their choices were made, they paid for all their new books. The owner giving them a generous discount, joking that Charlie was the only reason they were able to keep the lights on, making her blush in the process.

This was the first of many outings. After that morning at the bookstore, they started making plans and seeing each other a few days a week. The 3 of them got along very well and had the best time when they were together.

Two weeks had gone by and they had once again made plans together. They were going to meet Charlie during her lunch break and go eat at the diner across the street from the clinic.

It was almost time for Charlie’s break and right before Bucky was about to leave his house, Steve called to tell him something had come up and he wouldn’t be able to join them.

He thought it was odd because Steve never canceled last minute but still decided to go, he didn’t want Charlie to eat alone.

Of course, this was all a part of Steve’s matchmaking plan. When they decided on eating lunch together, he had no intention on showing up.

He never felt like the third wheel when they were together but he could see that his two best friends wanted to spend some time alone, and it was totally fine with him since it was his plan from the moment he introduced them.

It was finally time for lunch, Charlie was starving and she couldn’t wait to see her friends.

She got up from her chair and told the nurse in charge that she was leaving to go to lunch and that she’ll be back in an hour.

When she stepped out of the clinic, she noticed Bucky was alone. She thought it was strange because Steve was never late.

‘’Is Steve running late?’’Charlie asked while hugging Bucky to say hello.

‘’No. He called right before I left to say something came up and he couldn’t make it.’’

Charlie raised an eyebrow, surprised. Bucky shrugged giving her a look that said I know, it’s weird.

They crossed the street to the diner and once they were inside a waitress walked them to a table in the back corner. They sat and picked up the menus.

‘’I’m so hungry.’’ Charlie almost whined, looking over all the options and it made Bucky chuckle.

The waitress came back to take their order a few minutes later. She spent most of her time at their table openly flirting with Bucky, batting her eyelashes at him and laughing every time he said something, even if it wasn’t funny.

He smiled at her, politely, but never flirted back.

Charlie had to admit she was a little bit surprised. Before meeting him, she had heard all types of rumours about Bucky and how he was always with a different girl. Those rumours were clearly wrong, otherwise he would have jumped at the chance.

She was glad he didn’t flirt back, her mood had shifted when she saw how the waitress acted. She didn’t know why and convinced herself it was because it was rude of her to flirt so shamelessly when Charlie was sitting right there, for all she knew she could have been his girlfriend and she didn’t even seem to care. It definitely wasn’t jealousy. Definitely not.

The waitress finally walked away after writing down their order.

Charlie had gotten a bit worried when Bucky told her Steve couldn’t make it, she was scared it was going to be awkward and filled with uncomfortable silences but it was the opposite.

They had no trouble finding topics of conversation, the only time it was silent between them is when they were chewing their food.

It didn’t take long for them to finish eating, they had been so hungry that the minute their plates touched the table they started eating, barely stopping.

Once they were done, the waitress came over to clean up and tried getting Bucky’s attention once again and failed, again. He was too busy chatting with his friend to even notice her looks.

There was still 40 minutes left to Charlie’s lunch break so they decided to stay at the dinner.

‘’How come everybody calls you Bucky?’’

She had been wondering about his nickname since the first time she heard Steve call him that.

‘’Steve gave me that nickname when we were kids. It just stuck and now everybody calls me that. I find it almost weird when people call me by my first name.’’ He laughs. ‘’Now he only calls me Buck though. He said he didn’t like that everybody used his nickname so he had to find another one.’’

Charlie laughed, that wasn’t surprising of Steve.

‘’My full name is James Buchanan Barnes. That’s where he got the Bucky from.’’

Charlie nodded and smiled.

‘’He loves giving people nickname, doesn’t he?’’ She laughed. ‘’After we met he started calling me Char. I absolutely hate it so he’s the only one who’s allowed to use it.’’

Bucky chuckled and raised an eyebrow, curiously.

‘’What do people usually call you then?’’

She shrugged. ‘’Just Charlie.’’

‘’Well we need to fix that. You deserve to have a nickname that isn’t Char.’’ He teased and started to think.

Bucky racked his brain, trying to come up with something cute. He wasn’t really good at coming up with names. He thought of everything he knew about her.

He thought about the day they had met and finally found something. He remembered that the dress she had on the night of his birthday had flowers on it.

‘’Lily.’’ He simply said. ‘’I’m going to call you Lily now.’’

Charlie smiled, loving the nickname. It was cute.

‘’No one else can use it but me.’’ Bucky added.

Charlie laughed.

‘’Why?’’

‘’I’m the one who came up with it, other people can come up with something else. Lily is mine.’’ He smiled, proud of his idea.

Charlie tried to hide the pink that crept to her cheek when he said that Lily was his, bringing the attention back to him.

‘’Then I have to find something for you.’’ She started to think, looking at him for ideas. ‘’James Buchanan Barnes.’’ She repeated a few times out loud, hoping it would trigger something.

‘’Just call me James. You’ll be the only one.’’ He offered, he just loved hearing his first name coming out of her mouth.

It sounded different from when other people said it and he was embarrassed of how much of an effect her saying his name had on him. Charlie smiled brightly at him.

‘’Sold?’’

‘’Sold.’’ He grinned.

Charlie extended her hand towards Bucky and stuck out her pinky finger. He looked at her, confused as what she was doing.

‘’We just made a deal, we have to pinky promise now.’’

He laughed softly, thinking she was adorable. He stuck out his pinky finger, amused, and wrapped it around hers, sealing the ‘’deal’’ witha promise.

Letting go of each other’s hand, Charlie was about to change topics when she noticed Bucky wasn’t paying attention to her anymore, instead he was focused on the conversation the people sitting at the table behind him were having.

She hadn’t noticed them before now, but as soon as she laid eyes on them she quickly understood why Bucky started listening. They were in full uniforms.

Soldiers.

The two of them were talking about how the war overseas was getting worse and not enough men were enlisting. In a few months, they would have to draft any man over 18 that was healthy enough to go fight.

Charlie looked at Bucky, he looked like he had seen a ghost and looked a lot paler than usual.

Steve had told her once how both their fathers had been in the army, fightingf or their country. Both had died.

Steve wanted to be like his dad, he tried to enlist every chance he got but because of his health issues he kept being denied. He had also told her how Bucky felt about about it all.

He wanted to honor his dad, make him proud but he was scared to die. Rightfully so.

Charlie saw the panic in his eyes and brought his attention back to her.

‘’Hey.’’She said softly, ‘’Let’s get out of here, yeah?’’

He simply nodded and they got up.

They paid and left, crossing the street back to the clinic.

Bucky hadn’t said a single word since he had heard the soldiers talking.

Charlie started to worry, not because he wasn’t talking but because it seemed like his thoughts were going a mile a minute.

‘’Bucky.’’

Nothing.

‘’James.’’

Finally, he looked at her. He tried to smile to reassure her, seeing how worried she looked but she saw right through it.

She reached out and took his hand gently.

‘’It’s going to be ok, James.’’

She gave his hand a squeeze and he squeezed back. Hearing her say his name brought a genuine smile to his face.

Charlie had to go back to work, even though she didn’t want to.

It didn’t feel right to leave him like this but she really had no choice if she wanted to keep her job.

Bucky stepped towards her, bringing her to his chest and hugging her tightly, as if he was scared of what would happen if he let go.

She wasn’t used to this.

They had hugged before but never like this. It was always a bit hesitant, the both of them being shy, it only lasted a few seconds but not this time.

She wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him back, just as tightly.

She hated seeing him like this and the way he hugged her broke her heart.

She hold on to him, only letting go when he did, not a second before.

She promised she would call him as soon as she got home that night.

‘’Thank you.’’ He finally spoke.

Thanking her for making him feel better, not pressing him with a bunch of questions.

He knew Steve had probably told her about his dad but they didn’t need to talk about it for her to know what was wrong. She was just there when he needed her and it made him feel less alone.

He was thankful he didn’t need to talk for her to understand how he was feeling. He wasn’t sure he could find the words, anyway.

He smiled one more time at her, but it wasn’t his usual, brighter-than-the-sun smile. He looked sad.

She smiled back at him, trying to look as reassuring as she possibly could, not really sure if she was succeeding.

He started walking home and she waited until she couldn’t see him anymore before going inside.

The whole afternoon she thought of the emotions in Bucky’s eyes, her heart heavy in her chest.

As soon as her shift was over, she rushed home. Keeping her promise, she called Bucky the second she got home.

Feedback is always appreciated ❤️

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12tardis · 4 years

Text

Empire Line (Part 1/?)

Warnings: none

Summary: Newt has been in love with you since your second year at Hogwarts. You have been in love with Newt for nearly as long. You’re both ridiculously oblivious and you think he has feelings for Tina. Will Newt set the record straight before he loses you for good?

Pairings: Newt Scamander x Reader, Reader x OC (super brief)

A/N: Sooooooo this is part 1 of ? maybe 2 or 3 I really really really hope you like it bc I’ve slaved over this one. I’ve been wanting to write something more than just one shots for a while but my self esteem hit rock bottom this last couple months and that has bled over into my writing- hence why I’ve been so absent on here I’m so sorry fam ☹ In my head, this is a companion piece to I’m Gonna Keep You In Love With Me , it’s their origin story. Pls let me know your thoughts! I’d love to know what you think or where you think it’s headed. What do we think of Alistair?... Title: Empire Line by The National - literally listened to this on repeat while writing this

Taglist (I LOVE YALL): @auror-lovie @moonkissk7 @sagittarius-flowerchild @fishdonttouch @cal-ifornication @haileygarciasunshine

You had been completely in love with your best friend Newt Scamander since your school days at Hogwarts. You two had been inseparable since you first met and were now living together in a shared flat in London as you had been for the past few years since graduation.

You had tried to make your feelings known several times over the span of your friendship but Newt was either oblivious or pretending to be so he didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of turning you down. You thought it was the former but as the years drew on you grew suspicious because how could one person be so completely clueless?

The unrequited love was recently becoming harder and harder for you to push aside. Your heart ached with every letter he exchanged with your dear friend Tina and your stomach knotted every time he would mention her in passing.

At the end of the day his happiness was all that mattered to you and if Tina was the one to bring him that then you would accept it. You just weren’t sure how you would bear it when they finally did get together.

Maybe it was time for you to move on and open your heart up to other possibilities. Merlin knows there’d been plenty of willing men ever the years, but you’d always held out hope that the love of your life would one day return your feelings.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to settle for someone else.

Once you finished your cup of tea you set the empty mug in the sink and grabbed your handbag before you left the flat, starting the journey to your workplace. Walking through the streets distractedly you thought over all the times you had tried to tell Newt how you felt.

The most recent time was when you’d been standing beside him a few months ago, posing for a photo for the newspaper at one of his book signings. You were so immensely proud of Newt for his hard work and dedication in pursuing his passion despite everyone that had ridiculed him for it throughout his life.

You had accompanied him in his travels while he wrote the book and had only fallen more in love with your best friend as you watched him in his element. And you thought maybe he may have returned your feelings considering he’d dedicated the book to you. Even his brother Theseus had dropped a couple of not-so-subtle hints your way regarding you and his younger brother.

So, as you stood beside him a few months ago at his first book signing you held his hand tightly in your own. You were pressed close to him and beaming with pride for the camera and you caught yourself glancing up at him where he stood beside you. He looked so uncomfortable and nervous in front of the camera but at the same time he was just so ridiculously handsome. You continued to gaze up at him adoringly after the photographer had moved on, squeezing his hand.

“I love you.”

You uttered the words before you could even stop yourself. It just felt so right and after everything that had happened over the past few months you were certain you had ‘something’. But when he looked back down at you with a crooked smile and squeezed your shoulder casually you felt a sinking sensation in your stomach.

“I love you too,” he said back with such ease that you just knew he only meant it as a friend. Your smile dropped for a split second, but you quickly composed yourself, letting go of his hand.

“Aaaaand I’m going to go find myself a drink,” you said in a fake bright voice, leaving him behind, completely unaware of the way he was staring after you yearningly.

What you didn’t see was the older woman that stepped over to him telling him that you were a lovely couple. And you definitely didn’t see the way he smiled back at the woman, thanking her softly as he continued to look at your retreating figure.

People were always mistaking you for a couple. It had been a regular occurrence since you were 5th years but unbeknownst to you - Newt had recently stopped correcting people when they made the same assumption. Instead opting to smile warmly in response and allow himself to get lost in the illusion for the briefest moment.

- - - - - -

You sighed to yourself as you reminisced on the memory, slipping your apron over your head once you arrived at work. That particular moment had taken you a good few weeks to get over.

Were you that undesirable to Newt that he didn’t even consider the possibility of you harbouring romantic feelings for him beyond friendship?

And then there’d been the numerous events you’d asked him to over the years.

You had been the one to ask him to the Yule Ball in your 6th year.

You’d asked him to attend your brother's wedding with you a few years after.

Once again you’d asked him to go as your date with you to a cocktail ball your work company held just the previous year.

And each and every time he knocked you back. His excuses ranged from: ‘it’s not my scene’, to ‘Pickett is under the weather’. And each rejection hurt more than the last.

To his credit though, he did eventually change his mind each time and always ended up being the best plus one there ever was. But that didn’t quite erase the embarrassment and heartache you felt every time he turned you down.

Just last week you’d asked him to go with you to your old school friend’s wedding. You’d thought he’d agree easily this time as Sarah was a mutual Hufflepuff friend of both of yours and she and Newt had always gotten along but he’d simply told you, “I’ll think about it,” before he had scurried off to his bedroom.

“Excuse me, are you open yet?” You snapped out of your musings once more when you heard the first customer for the day enter the shop, plastering a bright smile on your face. You were determined to have a good day.

- - - - - -

Newt walked into the kitchen shortly after you’d left for the day, frowning when he saw you had indeed left without saying goodbye and that you’d forgotten your lunch too.

He was worried about you lately. You usually always wished him a good day before you headed off anywhere and you hadn’t done so a couple of times now during the last few weeks. You also appeared to be forgetting meals here and there too.

You had been uncharacteristically quiet since the two of you had returned back from New York and Newt figured you must have been upset about leaving behind Queenie and Tina.

He knew how much you had bonded with the Goldstein sisters and he’d tried his best to cheer you up but everything he tried appeared to be futile as the smile would disappear from your face after a few moments and you’d just go back to tending to your plants or reading your books.

The only thing that seemed to grab your attention was when he would talk about Tina so he found himself mentioning the other woman most days, feeling a sense of relief when you would actually utter more than a few words in response. But something still seemed off.

He didn’t have the slightest clue about the heart ache you felt each time he uttered the other woman’s name.

Newt grabbed your lunch off of the counter and made his way to your workplace, figuring he could grab some things from the nearby grocers afterwards. He was planning to cook your favourite meal for dinner in the hopes to cheer you up a bit and maybe ask if there was something upsetting you recently.

Smiling to himself when he arrived at the small plant nursery where you worked, he leaned in the doorframe as he watched you tend to the plants, humming quietly to yourself. He saw you happy and at ease for the first time in weeks and he couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face at seeing you huff in annoyance when you couldn’t reach one of the hanging plants, stretching up onto your toes to try and reach the offending plant. How could one person be so adorable?

He was just about to step in and retrieve it for you when another gentleman walked over to you, resting a hand on your waist as he leant over you to grab the planter down. The smile dropped from Newt’s face immediately as he watched this man grin down at you, still completely in your personal space.

The mystery man set the plant down on the counter in front of you and Newt felt bile rise in his throat at the giggle you let out when the man leant in even closer to you, brushing some soil from your face. He was obviously a co-worker of yours and Newt felt awful because he should have been happy that you were happy, considering your previous co-worker had been horrible to you but when he saw the way the other guy still had his hand on your waist he felt nothing but jealousy.

Who was this guy?

Why hadn’t you told him you had a new co-worker?

You usually told him everything.

He thought you told him everything.

And WHY was the guy still gripping your waist like that?

Jealousy. It was a rare feeling for him to experience but it definitely wasn’t a new one. He’d experienced it every time someone had come along over the years and dared to look at you a little too long, or touch you with too much familiarity.

And every time, he felt like the world's biggest ass because he knew he didn’t have some claim to you. You weren’t some prize to be won or fought over, and yet here he was, gritting his teeth as he watched the other man make you laugh and swoon, just like he wished he could.

It took him back to the very first time he’d experienced the wrath of the green-eyed monster when you were 3rd years at Hogwarts.

- - - - - -

Newt was rushing towards the common room to find you with the new Pixie he’d just found hidden in his robes. He was excited to show you his discovery because you’d been particularly fascinated in the pixies when you’d studied them in class but as he stepped into the common room he was entirely unprepared for the sight that greeted him.

Pierce Brixley, one of the popular Hufflepuff 5th years, was gripping your shoulders and saying something to you with a megawatt smile on his face.

He couldn’t quite make out what either of you were saying as he made his way towards you, pausing in his tracks when Pierce leant in and planted an eager kiss on your cheek. Newt then felt a foreign twisting sensation in his stomach as he watched you lift a hand to your cheek to brush over where Pierce’s lips had just been, laughing while you waved to the older boy as he turned to leave.

“You saved my life, Y/N!”, Pierce called out to you over his shoulder as he rushed to leave the room. Newt noticed the other boy had a potted plant grasped in his hands.

“Oh, hi Newt!”, he grinned but Newt simply nodded at him wordlessly, watching him leave the common room in a rush.

He didn’t know what this strange feeling was that had just washed over him. Newt really liked Pierce. The older Hufflepuff had gotten him out of strife with some of his bullies several times and had even offered to help him with his studies from time to time.

So why did Newt suddenly feel the urge to jinx him?

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you since Charms”, you beamed at him, practically bounding over to him and tipping your head aside at the blank expression he wore.

“What was that about?”, he asked, completely ignoring your earlier statement, feeling a twitch of annoyance when you frowned at him in confusion “with Pierce,” he quickly clarified.

“Oh! Right that,” you laughed, shaking your head.

“He was panicking yesterday because it’s his girlfriend's birthday tomorrow and he accidentally squashed the Puffapod he’d gotten for her but it was fine because I found some growing out by the pumpkin patch- remember that time?”, you barely paused for breath, waiting for him to nod in affirmation.

“Yeah so I just gave him a new one that I dug up today. And now I have a sad but still hopeful Puffapod of my own to nurse!” You smiled as you held up the crushed and wilted flower for him to see.

And just like that the foreign sensation in his gut was gone and he felt normal again.

“So, I got him out of a pickle apparently but I’m not too sure about that because I don’t know who in their right mind thinks a Puffapod is a romantic gift! They make you dizzy if you mishandle them, did you know that? I certainly wouldn’t appreciate that as a gift.”

You rambled on so quickly that Newt was struggling to keep up, but he couldn’t stop his growing smile because he absolutely loved listening and watching you go off on tangents. You were so passionate about plants and flowers and he utterly adored the way your eyes would light up when you got carried away talking about them.

He gazed back at you as you continued to talk about the qualities of a Puffpod while you inspected the plant in your hands, trailing your fingers over the foliage.

“So, what kind of gift would you appreciate then?” he chuckled, smiling softly back at you and you blinked back at him because it wasn’t really something you had thought about.

“Uh...just something that shows genuine thought and care I guess- WAIT is that a Pixie?!”

- - - - - -

Newt was broken out of his daydreaming when he heard you laugh once more, and he cleared his throat when he decided you had spent way too long gazing back at the mystery man.

He gritted his teeth when said man was the one to turn to greet him while you went back to watering the plants, not noticing his presence in the shop.

“Hi there! How can I help you today?”, your co-worker said brightly, heading around the counter towards Newt.

Newt held up the lunch bag in his hand. “I came to see Y/N”, he said flatly, so flatly that he almost didn’t recognise his own voice.

Newt stared at you desperately feeling some of the tension leave him when you looked up to see him, a bright smile appearing on your face not a moment later.

“Newt!”

You smiled happily at him instinctively. You were always happy to see him, that much had never changed. It was just when you pictured him with Tina that that miserable shadow would fall over you again.

You cocked your head aside as you bounded over to him and Newt was entirely distracted by the sensation of his heart swelling on his chest at the sight of you, looking just like you did that time in your 3rd year.

Your lips parted when you recognised he was holding your lunch that you hadn’t even realised you’d forgotten. “Oh goodness, I totally forgot. Thank you, Newt! What would I do without you?”, you pecked him on the cheek quickly as you took the bag from him.

Newt blushed as he usually would at your affection, but he also felt a small sense of pride when he noticed the way your co-worker’s eyebrows shot up at the kiss.

“Starve probably,” he answered with a teasing smile, pausing when he spotted some lingering soil on your cheek that the other man had obviously failed to brush away.

He lifted his hand without a moment's hesitation and slowly and gently thumbed away the remaining dirt from your skin. Not noticing the way you held your breath and leant into his touch instinctively.

“I’ll see you later”, Newt murmured, dropping his hand quickly when he realised how long he’d been staring at you. He allowed his hand to brush down your arm, squeezing your hand in his own momentarily before he stepped away from you.

“Have a good day, Y/N,” he called looking back at you once he was in the doorway, simply nodding at your co-worker before he left the shop.

That evening when you arrived home to find Newt preparing your favourite meal for dinner, you’d felt a small spark of hope flourish in your chest, wondering if maybe he was trying to be romantic. Especially after that moment in the shop.

The meal was perfect, and you were sat there gazing back at Newt adoringly with your chin resting in your palm while he told you about his day with the creatures.

He paused in his ramblings as he got up “oh I nearly forgot, Tina wrote us both,” he grabbed two envelopes from the kitchen counter, passing you yours with a wide smile.

And just like that you felt all your hopes fade away once again. This time it really hurt to see the soft smile on his lips as he looked down at his own letter that looked considerably thicker than yours.

Of course it would be thicker than yours.

They were probably writing full romantic essays back and forth by now.

You plastered on a smile of resignation, pocketing your own letter and going straight to your bedroom once you’d finished cleaning up. Having no idea that Tina had actually written to Newt in great detail of all the reasons why she felt he needed to share his feelings for you.

- - - - - -

Newt had read over Tina’s letter at least a dozen times over the following week, knowing logically that everything the woman had written was true.

‘I know you’re nervous. Especially after all this time but you’ve known Y/N for so long now you know she would never ridicule you or lash out at you.

You should make the most of all the precious time you have together. Our time is never promised, I learnt that with the passing of my parents and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to tell them how much I loved them.

I can’t tell you for sure how she will respond but you will be able to finally rest without wondering what could be. Be brave Newt.’

He’d been re-reading that specific page over and over again and he was finally building a plan in his head of how he was going to tell you.

There had been so many moments over the years when he’d nearly told you of his feelings. The words had truly been on the very tip of his tongue more times than he could count.

But every time he grew anxious and backed out, promising himself he’d tell you ‘next time’.

The most recent time had been just a fortnight earlier when you’d been down in his case with him.

He went to the markets to fetch you a box of your favourite pastries and a bouquet of your favourite flowers, planning to present them to you when you got home from work. He had set the sweets and flowers in his study to give to you later before he’d headed down to check on the creatures, running through what he would say to you in his head as he cleaned around the enclosures.

“Newt?”, he startled when he heard your voice call for him because you weren’t due home for another hour. He looked up in time to see you coming down the stairs towards him.

“You will not believe who’s getting married!”, you said excitedly, waving the opened wedding invitation in front of his face “Sarah! Oh I’m so excited, it’s next month and the venue is incredible. Please come with me? Please?” you rambled on quickly.

Newt felt the courage to tell you of his feelings completely disappearing as he looked back at you and how beautiful you looked gushing excitedly over the wedding of your mutual Hufflepuff friend. “I-I’ll think about it,” he stammered, turning his attention back to his creatures because he simply couldn’t trust himself to look at you any longer without blurting out everything he had on his mind.

He was so focused on managing his own emotions that he was entirely oblivious to the hurt that washed over your features and the dejected way you slumped your shoulders before you left him alone in his case.

That evening he ended up tossing the pastries to Dougal and leaving the flowers on the doorstep of your workplace for you to find the next day, figuring it wouldn’t be too strange for a floral bouquet to show up at a plant and floral shop.

- - - - - -

The next time he worked up the courage to tell you how he felt wasn’t for another two weeks. The weeks had passed rather uneventfully as you both had continued on in your usual routines.

It was that morning as he watched you feeding the Mooncalves with the sweetest smile on your lips and Pickett perched on your shoulder that he decided he was going to try and tell you again.

You had seemed to perk up again recently so he took that as a good sign and once you’d left for work that day he once again went to buy you your favourite flowers and even booked a table at one of the restaurants you’d been nagging him to go to. Yes, he was going to put himself entirely out of his comfort zone tonight if it meant winning your heart.

Time got away from him though as he did a few other errands and got caught up in a menswear shop when he decided on a whim that he was going to buy a nice suit that you would hopefully like. He recalled you telling him how much you liked him in blue, so he was feeling quite confident with himself as he wandered back to the flat with his new blue suit and your flowers in hand.

It was 5.30 now. You would most likely be home from work but he figured that still gave you both ample time to get ready for dinner and enough time for him to plan out what he was going to say to you like he hadn’t already been rehearsing all day.

But his newfound confidence dissipated immediately as he approached the front door, hearing your voice and a distinct male voice that he didn’t recognise. Just like that he felt every last drop of courage drain from his body as he stepped into the flat and saw the very same co-worker from a few weeks ago.

He was sitting at the dining room table smiling back at you while you had your head tipped back in laughter at something that he’d said.

- - - - - -

Completely unbeknownst to Newt you had spent the last two weeks trying your very hardest to train your heart out of beating erratically every time you saw your best friend smile. Or stopping your stomach from doing somersaults every time he looked back at you with a little too much interest.

Sure, you loved him more than anything or anyone, but you simply couldn’t take any more of listening to him gush on and on about Tina. You knew it was time for you to move on.

So, you had to get over him and that meant turning your attention to your co-worker, Alistair. He was handsome, he was flirty, he was passionate about plants like you and most importantly he was into you.

You were still down in the dumps from Newt turning down your invite to Sarah’s wedding as you walked to work the next day but as you stepped towards the shop the most incredible bouquet of flowers sat waiting for you against the shop door. You felt your chest tighten as you scooped up the arrangement, seeing it was all your favourites.

“Blegh, who puts sunflowers with peonies and ranunculi?” Alistair said from beside you, having just arrived. You looked back at him suspiciously.

“...they’re my favourite flowers,” you said slowly, watching him closely because you were certain he’d heard you telling a customer that much just a few days ago.

“Oh, I knew that, I was just joking” Alistair played it off casually with a wink and such a charming smile that you were convinced he’d been the one to leave them for you.

When he set his hand on your waist and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek you were certain it had been him.

Who else could it be?

- - - - - -

“Oh hi, Newt! This is Alistair I’m not sure you’ve met properly yet,” you said brightly when you noticed Newt had arrived home, gesturing to the man sitting across from you. Alistair looked Newt up and down, keeping a pleasant smile on his face as he eyed the flowers Newt had tucked under his arm. Almost an exact replica of the bouquet from the other week, just in a different colour arrangement.

“Pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard plenty about you,” he said smoothly, holding his hand out to Newt.

Newt shook Alistair’s hand begrudgingly, feeling completely intimidated by just how classically handsome and built the other man was. He could never compare.

“Nice flowers you got there,” Alistair nodded at the bouquet just as you jumped to your feet excitedly, finally noticing the flowers.

“Uh...yeah I just found these on the doorstep,” Newt lied, holding the flowers out to you and stiffening at the calculating look Alistair was now giving him.

You blinked a few times as you took the stunning bouquet from Newt, whipping your head aside to look at Alistair.

“I KNEW it was you!”, you said happily as you poked a finger into Alistair’s chest, completely missing the look of confusion that passed over his face for a fleeting moment.

And missing the look of alarm Newt was giving you.

“You tried to pretend you didn’t know what my favourite flowers were! When did you even have the time to put them there?”, you giggled, truly thinking Alistair had managed to pull off such a romantic feat.

Newt gritted his teeth, feeling the strongest flare of jealousy yet when he saw Alistair quickly compose himself and plaster that stupid smug smirk back on his face “well I had them delivered of course,” he lied smoothly as his eyes flicked to Newt.

The two men locked eyes for a moment. Alistair was silently challenging Newt to tell you otherwise. Newt glanced back at you, opening his mouth to protest but he stopped himself just as quickly when he saw the happy glimmer in your eyes.

He just didn’t have the heart to ruin your good mood especially considering how down you had been lately.

So what if you thought the flowers came from Alistair? It was a harmless misunderstanding, right?

Not a moment later you were pressing a kiss to Alistair’s cheek and Newt was gritting his teeth again.

You wandered away to find a vase for the flowers, leaving the two men alone to just stare at each other. Alistair looked back at Newt and the stony expression he now wore, clearing his throat after a moment.

“I should really get going, Y/N,” he called out, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on Newt, another fake smile gracing his lips when you turned to look at him.

“It was nice to meet you, Newt.”

Alistair walked over to you and Newt wanted to die as he watched him press a kiss to the top of your head and saw the shy smile you gave him in return.

Newt briefly considered throwing the damn bouquet into his case for the creatures to feast on when you went to see Alistair off but when you returned to the room, he felt a horrible sense of guilt settle in his chest. You looked so happy and touched by the notion and he just didn’t have the will to wipe that smile from your face.

Would you have been so happy if you’d known who they were truly from?

Probably not.

“He seems nice,” he murmured quietly, staring back at you desperately and hoping you would realise the truth. But when you nodded your head in response, he knew it was a pointless hope.

“Yeah he’s lovely. He’s uh, a bit of a handful sometimes but he’s really sweet and he doesn’t get bored of all my plant talk,” you laughed, looking back at Newt, nodding at the bag he had in his hand “what did you buy?”

“Oh, just some stuff for in the case,” he lied quickly, forcing a smile at you before he walked away, pretending that his heart wasn’t in total shambles.

He decided it didn’t matter who the flowers were really from. All that mattered was that you were happy.

- - - - - -

Another week passed and Newt didn’t hear or see anything more of Alistair much to his relief. Strangely, you appeared to have slipped back into your more quiet subdued self and Newt was worried again.

Had Alistair done something to upset you maybe?

In actual fact you’d been wallowing for a few days now since you’d happened to glimpse one of Newt’s letters from Tina, mistakenly thinking it was yours.

‘Newt,

There is so much to admire about you. You are handsome and inspiring and truly one of a kind. I know Queenie agrees with me on this. Don’t sell yourself short. Much love,

Tina

Not only were you completely unaware that the true intention of the letter was more of a friendly pep talk on Tina’s behalf after Newt had written to her about his failure in telling you his feelings and detailing how charming Alistair was comparatively. But you were also hurt to think that Newt had neglected to tell you that he and Tina had made things official.

Sure, the letter was a little lacklustre and you could think of roughly two thousand things to add to the list of things to admire about Newt, but it was still clearly a letter between two people holding affection for one another.

It wasn’t an idea you really wanted to accept yet, so you decided the safest course of action for your bruised heart was to limit your time with Newt. So as a result, you’d been busying yourself throughout the week with your garden.

He would tell you about his new relationship with Tina when he was ready, and you would smile and support him like a good friend.

You’d been up in your bedroom all morning and Newt was concerned so he set about making you a cup of tea deciding he would go and check on you but he nearly dropped the mug in his hand when you came sweeping into the kitchen, dressed up to the nines in the most magnificent dress he’d never seen before.

Your lips were painted to perfection and your hair was styled to frame your face. His chest was aching from your sheer beauty.

“Y/N, you look...incredible,” he breathed, his mouth agape as he looked back at you. “What’s...what’s the occasion?”, he managed to ask eventually, moving closer to you instinctively.

You were completely taken aback by his reaction and his sweet words because he almost looked...awed? You shook the thought away, remembering the letter from Tina and frowned at him.

“It’s Sarah’s wedding? Remember you were invited? I told you about it last month?”, you walked away from him when the doorbell rang, and Newt stared after you helplessly.

Had Sarah’s wedding seriously snuck up that quickly?

Why hadn’t you mentioned it to him again?

Usually you would remind him of such events with a few weeks’ notice, giving him plenty of time to get his act together.

He felt his stomach drop and he understood exactly why you hadn’t mentioned the wedding to him again when he saw you pull the front door open, revealing a fancy suit-clad Alistair. You were taking a practical stranger as your date to the wedding of one of your oldest friends and boy did that feel like a kick in the guts.

“Y/N, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to out-shine the bride on her wedding day?”, Alistair said loudly as he walked into the apartment, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. Newt rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might roll right out of his head.

“Oh, you won’t be saying that when you see Sarah. She’s actual perfection”, you smiled back at Alistair bashfully.

“I highly doubt there is going to be a single lady who can hold a candle to you today”, Alistair smirked, and Newt grit his teeth because that was something he could actually agree upon but just the way the other man was leering at you as he said it had Newt wanting to cover you up in one of his long coats. They always did swim on your frame.

Alistair eventually stopped his leering long enough to thrust a huge bouquet of flowers into your face. You raised your eyebrows because this time it was a giant bouquet of red roses.

“I thought it was about time to change it up a little, don’t you think?”, Alistair smiled, reaching out to toy with a strand of your hair, making Newt want to break his hand.

When you just stared at the roses wordlessly Alistair pressed a kiss to your cheek “I think Roses are much better suited to a lady such as yourself. Elegant, beautiful and the flower of romance.”

As you took the bouquet from Alistair and offered him a thankful smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes Newt found himself being thrown back into his Hogwarts days when he’d first learned the truth of why you didn’t like roses.

- - - - - -

“Now remember this spell will only heal minor injuries. Anything beyond that and I highly suggest that you still take a visit to the hospital wing.” Professor Jamieson’s dry voice carried through the classroom.

“Now repeat after me ep-PIS-kee...Episkey. Good.”

Newt was sat beside you in charms class during your second year, fidgeting with his quill nervously as he prayed the Professor wouldn’t call on him to demonstrate for the class.

Professor Jamieson had a penchant for making the entire class demonstrate their pronunciation and wand motions and it was often a source of great embarrassment for Newt as he would stutter when the entire class was watching him.

Newt groaned quietly from his spot beside you when the teacher did just that and he began to bounce his knee nervously as the students began to take turns one by one.

He blinked in surprise when you lay your hand on his knee. You offered him a smile of comfort and he felt his nerves melt away for a moment as he found himself getting lost in your eyes and the soft curve of your lips.

That moment was short lived though as the Professor had the class begin to recite the spell and the motion one by one.

He desperately whispered the spell to himself under his breath, but of course once it was his turn he froze, staring down at his desk as he fumbled with his wand.

Everyone’s eyes were on him as you nudged him gently and the Professor called on him again.

“...Ep-p-p...p-pisskey,” his flushed deep red right to his ears as one Colin Fligshaw guwaffed with laughter, already mocking Newt from the back of the classroom.

“P-p-p-p please Professor! I only speak FREAK!”, Colin mocked, and Newt sat in complete humiliation wanting nothing more than to disappear as the other students began to laugh along.

That was until you threw your ink pot with shocking accuracy, hitting Colin in the middle of his head and sending the ink all over the boy and his robes “Merlin, YOU’RE A GIT, FLIGSHAW!”

Your angry voice carried through the classroom as everyone else sat in stunned silence and Newt stared at you like you’d grown a second head.

“Miss L/N, Mr Fligshaw, detention for a week! And 10 points from Hufflepuff and Gryffindor!”

You scowled back at the other boy who at least had the decency to look ashamed, remembering the time you had made him pay for stealing Newt’s textbooks the year before. He’d had a sore ear for an entire week after you’d dragged him the length of the entire school, ranting and raving at him like a complete lunatic.

“Y/N, you didn’t have to do that. Now you’re gonna be stuck in detention,” Newt said when you were leaving the classroom and you frowned at the guilty expression he wore.

“Newt, you’re my best friend. I’m not just going to sit back and watch you be poked fun of. Plus, you’re going meet me after detention every day with snacks, aren’t you?”, you grinned back at him. You were only joking but Newt nodded in response.

And he did just that. Waiting diligently outside the detention hall for you each afternoon with your favourite snacks hidden in his robes that he’d pinched from the kitchens.

“You’re free!”, he hugged you when you’d finally finished serving your punishment at the end of the week, handing you a cinnamon bun that was still warm.

You hummed happily in appreciation wasting no time in chomping down on the pastry as Newt held out a letter for you to see “Look what my parents wrote me h-oh no!”, he tried to grasp for the paper when a gust of wind sent it flying out of his hand.

You quickly chased after it across the courtyard and Newt tried to call out to get your attention, but it was too late. You managed to catch the paper at the same time you stumbled straight into a rose bush, crying out when the thorns dug into your skin.

“Y/N!” he ran over to you as you thrashed around trying to free yourself from the rose bush, only to end up with more thorns piercing your skin. “Y/N stop moving!”

He winced at your whimper of pain as he carefully pried the bushes away from you, helping you out from the garden bed and sitting you down carefully as he looked over your injuries and torn stockings.

“This IS WHY I HATE ROSES! Firstly, they remind me of my mum's funeral because Merlin, they were everywhere that day but now this! Terrible, stupid, overrated flowers!”

Newt hated the tears he could see you fighting back as you bit your lip in pain. Your stockings were torn and there was blood running down both of your legs. He didn’t hesitate as he knelt down in front of you, taking your hand and using his other to pluck his wand out from his pocket.

“Episkey,” he murmured, letting out a sigh of relief when your skin mended quickly and you were no longer wincing in pain.

“Newt! You did it!”, you gasped, looking at him with big eyes and gripping his shoulders with a proud smile.

“I guess I just needed a reason to get it right,” he smiled back at you crookedly, casting another charm to get rid of the blood and dirt off of you before he helped you to your feet.

He didn’t let go of your hand as he guided you towards the common room, vowing to never ever present you with roses as a gift.

- - - - - -

Newt stepped towards you cutting Alistair from your view as you set the flowers in water with an unreadable expression on your face.

You looked up when he took your hand, looking back at him in confusion before you smiled weakly at him.

“It’s okay. I told Sarah you were busy with book signing things. She understands.” You squeezed his hand gently and Newt wanted to kick himself because that was the last thing that was on his mind. Really, he just wanted to stop you from leaving with him.

He wanted to tell you the truth. And he wanted to dash off to get into his own suit so he could take you to the wedding himself, but he knew he’d lost his chance.

Alistair’s low laughter filled the kitchen as he moved over to you and Newt gritted his teeth at the way he was still leering at you. “Don’t worry Newt, I’ll have her home by curfew,” Alistair teased, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you out of Newt’s grasp.

“Come on princess. We don’t want to be late,” Alistair fixed Newt with one last hard look over your shoulder before he pulled you from the house, missing the way you looked back at Newt in concern. Wondering what it was that he’d been trying to tell you.

Once you were gone from the flat Newt tried to go about his day as usual but the image of you looking so beautiful in Alistair’s arms was burned into his retinas and he found himself checking the time constantly.

He glanced at his watch with a sigh for the 4th time in an hour that afternoon, wondering what you were doing and if Alistair was being respectful. He knew it was silly. You were an adult and you could take care of yourself but that didn’t stop him from worrying and it certainly didn’t stop him from wallowing in self-pity.

As the hours wore on and the light faded, he found himself feeling more and more worked up, lingering in the living room by the front door when he would usually be in his case working.

It was the thought of you slow dancing in Alistair’s arms that had him rushing from the house and before he knew it, he was standing on his brothers’ doorstep, pounding on the door in a complete daze.

“Newt?”, Theseus frowned when he opened his door, knowing immediately from his younger brother’s body language and expression that something was bothering him. He stepped aside, motioning for Newt to come in and went to put the kettle on the boil while Newt sat himself down in the lounge room.

“I’m sorry I know it’s late and you’re probably busy- I can, I can go,” Newt stuttered when Theseus had returned with a pot of tea, getting to his feet to which Theseus frowned and cast him back into his seat.

“Newton. You know my door is open to you no matter the time. What’s upsetting you?”

Newt let out a deep sigh, brushing his fingers through his hair “I don’t...I don’t really know.”

But Theseus fixed Newt with a deadpan expression because he knew his brother only stumbled on his words like he was now over a select few reasons.

“Is one of the creatures ill?”

Newt shook his head.

“Have you lost Dougal again?”

He shook his head again.

“So, it’s Y/N.” Theseus said slowly, watching the younger man closely as he shook his head again.

“Well no...it’s not her specifically,” Newt ran a hand down his face and then let out a groan as his shoulders slumped.

“Merlin, who am I kidding. She’s at a wedding right now with some other man. Her co-worker. I was supposed to go with her, but I said no- I know I’m an idiot don’t give me that face Thes,” he rambled on as he wrung his hands in his lap.

“They’ve been getting closer lately and I just, I’m trying to be happy for her, but I can’t stand the guy Thes’ I seriously can’t stand the guy and it’s driving me mad!”

Newt’s voice grew louder as he continued on but Theseus watched him curl in on himself again when he finished.

The brothers sat in silence for a few moments as Theseus just looked back at Newt, choosing his words carefully.

“You...don’t like him because you’re simply jealous or you don’t like him because he’s genuinely unlikable?”

Newt blinked back at his brother in confusion “why’s it matter?” he sighed, shaking his head as he flopped back in the chair.

In the past he would have ardently argued that he wasn’t jealous and he didn’t see you that way but he knew there was no point trying to lie to Theseus.

“Well I just mean- do you dislike him just because you want to be him? Because you want to be in his shoes? Or do you dislike him because he’s not a good fit for Y/N? Does he treat her well? Will he make her happy?”

Newt looked down at his lap then, twisting his hands together once more as he pondered what Theseus had said.

“Not like I can,” he whispered eventually.

Theseus nodded in response, smiling softly back at him as he clapped him on the shoulder “then I think you better do something about it, Newt. You need to tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”

He noticed the hesitant look Newt wore so he continued, “you need to tell her before you have to watch her move on with someone who can never love her or treat her like you do.”

Newt got to his feet then, nodding to himself and determined to tell you the truth once and for all. Surely you would be home by now. When he arrived home though it was clear you still haven’t returned. That was fine. It just gave him more time to rehearse what he was going to say.

He paced around the kitchen as he imagined hearing you tell him you felt the same way.

“I had a great time tonight, Y/N.”

Newt’s head snapped up and he spotted you in the front terrace, your heels in one hand and Alistair’s hand gripped in the other.

That was okay too. It didn’t have to mean anything. He could still go through with his plan once you were inside and Alistair had left.

Then just as you reached for the door Alistair tugged your hand, spinning you around in his arms and leaning in for a kiss but you turned your cheek at the last second. You successfully dodged the kiss and Newt could almost hear his own heart sing.

That had to be a good sign! You didn’t want to kiss Alistair so maybe he still had a chance to tell you the truth. His brother's advice still echoed in his ears and he realised he had to tell you tonight before he lost his shot completely.

He sucked in a breath when you finally entered the house, standing in the hallway and just glimpsing Alistair’s retreating figure before you swung the door closed and turned to face him.

“Oh, Newt you’re still up”, you said in surprise and Newt had to focus on the task at hand when he realised just how distractingly gorgeous you were still looking.

“Yes, I have to tell you something,” he blurted out, stepping closer to you tentatively.

“Me too actually,” you murmured, smiling back at him weakly and Newt was caught off guard.

Why were you looking at him like that?

What did that smile mean?

He was so dumbfounded by your expression that he forgot to speak, so you eventually filled the silence.

“Alistair’s moving to South America to research the flora and fauna over there.”

Newt only blinked back at you dumbly, so you spoke up again.

“I said I’d go with him.” OTHER WORKS HERE! -

#newt scamander x you #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander imagine

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fayeimara · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

Episode 3. Angel's Blessing | Pt 1

Your weeks in Miyagi flew by so fast, you're a little sad that you'll shortly be heading to stay with your aunt and uncle in Tokyo soon. It didn't feel like you'd spent nearly enough time with Toshi. You'd also had only a couple days to visit Tobio and Miwa, your cousins from your mom's side that also lived in Miyagi, but you didn't realize it wouldn't be nearly enough time. You'd had to promise him, Miwa, and their parents that you would stay with them the next time you visited.

You had a little over a week left here and Toshi and the guys from Shiratorizawa had just started their summer break so it was the perfect excuse to make the most of your time left while taking them out to celebrate. You'd gotten to know them well during your stay, with constant drop ins to their practices - You could swear even Coach Washijo had warmed up to you! ...or maybe just gotten used to tolerating your presence.

You'd also spent a lot of time chilling with the guys on their time off but that was usually chilling indoors playing video games at one of their places or stopping by cute little shops. Toshi, Tendou, and Semi had even come shopping with you a couple times which was a hilarious circus in itself but you repaid the laughs you got by torturing them and buying them gifts. Although you didn't realize it wasn't quite regular at first but they got used to it... well, at the very least Semi stopped getting flustered and just let you have your way.

It's not like you couldn't afford it and when you said that to his face, he literally just rolled his eyes and said something about rich kids which you threw back in his face because... hypocritical! At least you had your own hard-earned money, but you just refused to tell him how and why it was still so much and you think he was kind of concerned now.

Regardless, you'd be leaving soon and you really wanted a special night to commemorate this trip and your new friendships so you told the guys that you all were having a nice dinner somewhere, your treat. They protested that at first but you stood firm and finally they picked the nice sushi restaurant you were headed to for dinner tonight.

Hence, you out here in a chic semi-formal outfit, which is basically a cute dress and flats with a couple layered necklaces and matching bracelets on each wrist.

"Y/n!" You're standing with Toshi and Tendou, already outside the restaurant when you hear your name. Looking over, you see Semi, Yamagata and Soekawa walk up to the three of you.

"Thank you so much for offering to treat us tonight!" Soekawa says as they reach you.

Semi's scowling like usual but he sounds relaxed when he adds, "Yeah, although it really should be us treating you."

You laugh and shake your head, "No way! I'm just so glad to have made great friends like you guys here, how can I not want to celebrate our friendship before I leave?"

"I wish you could stay." Yamagata's looking down both literally and figuratively, "You could come to Shiratorizawa and we could chill all the time like we have been."

"Aw, you'll still have me!" Tendou exclaims with his arms up in the air. He's moving towards Yamagata, who dodges before he replies.

"We see you every day! It's not the same, she's actually nice and doesn't always poke fun at us for every little thing!"

You giggle at them because their dynamic is great, yeah, but what you think he really means without saying it is that all these boys need is some platonic estrogen in their lives.

Tendou narrows his eyes at you when he hears though and you think he knows you well enough to know you're amused at their expense so you're ready for his move.

"Hmm..." He pretends to think, "Maybe if we kidnap her, she'd miss her train to Tokyo and have to stay here longer!"

Before he even finishes his sentence, he's running at you and you're embarrassed to say you shriek in surprise before spinning to run away, calling over your shoulder, "It doesn't work that way! I'd just get on a train the next day!"

Too bad you're not watching where you're going because you run right into a wall in your path. Just a metaphor this time because this wall stumbles back with a soft 'oof-' as its arms reach out to wrap around and steady you while you fall over together.

Oh my god, you just ran into, and took down, chocolate boy- you mean chocolate eyes. Wait, no- "Oikawa!" His name slips from your lips in disbelief as you look up at his face and then your face turns to what you're betting is a very embarrassed shade of red - and for too many different reasons, oh god.

He's a little stunning stunned but you think that's from the fall so you can't fault him when he responds, "Angel?"

Tendou's standing right by the two of you and you swear this boy really doesn't know how not to tease in an already pretty embarrassing situation because he just has to say, "So.. Y/n. Getting up off of our rival anytime soon?"

"I'm so sorry!" You blurt out again as you carefully try to move off him without using him as leverage since, you know, he just took the brunt of a fall that was your fault for the both of you. You also don't want to embarrass yourself any further by accidentally placing your hands anywhere intimate inappropriate.

His arms only release slightly and he's already sitting up while you're kind of maneuvering your limbs to find purchase on the ground around and in between him so you end up basically straddling his leg and your faces too close for comfort in that split second before you stand back up. And you never want to think of this again. Like if there was ever a time for a hole to open up and swallow anyone into oblivion it would be now and that person should be you.

He's way nicer than you would have expected from a pretty boy though because he just laughs brightly as he stands too, "No need to apologize! I think we reversed and I was just the one in the way this time."

"No, this one wasn't you at all. I'm really sorry, Oikawa."

Another voice chimes in, quite seriously, "Dropped the honorific already, Y/n? And that's the second time in minutes.. I wasn't aware you met more than that one time."

Even Semi is teasing you?! He almost got you for a second, his voice was perfectly serious, you only realized because you noticed the glint in his eyes when you looked over to make excuses. So instead you.. still make an excuse.

"I didn't grow up with this? It's pretty normal to use someone's name without honorifics back home!"

"Hmm." He looks like he'll drop it, but oh my gosh, Yamagata picks up the let's make fun of Y/n game by throwing back, "I don't know Y/n, you've had no trouble fitting in like a local for weeks. Seems suspect."

You look to Toshi for support but he's silent and just calmly looking back at you.

What. Is. This.

Even Iwa and the other friend behind Oikawa are various degrees of amused. Like. What?

You can't look at him, but you'll make it worse if you don't so you literally use all your remaining dignity to turn your probably flushed face back to Oikawa and all your control to keep a serious, sincere expression before trying to apologize again.

"Please ignore them, they were just telling me how nice I am since I don't tease them when they're down but apparently not enough to return the favour. Anyways, I hope you can accept my apology." No way are you saying his name again, because whether you use the honorific or not now, either option will just get you teased more.

You finally manage to look into his eyes again and that's when you realize that you're not the only one that's incredibly flustered. Like, he is too? Did he hit his head when the two of you fell? And.. has he just been staring at you this whole time?? Oh god, you're wearing a dress! Are you somehow flashing yourself?? The guys would tell you right? You quickly run your hands down the flared skirt to check without looking and making your consternation obvious, but no, everything seems in place.

He clears his throat, catching your attention again, and then there's a smile on his face, maybe more like a smirk, "That's okay, really... Now we can make it up twice."

Suddenly, your embarrassment is forgotten and you're smiling back. How can you not? You had said that back then because, what were the chances, really? So you definitely hadn't expected that cute moment with a cute boy to mean anything and yet here you are.

"Okay, yeah, sure." You lightly laugh out your words, because you're a little unsure about your coming offer but you're still about to go for it. "I'm treating these guys tonight so, if you and your friends would like to, you're welcome join us. If you think that might be enough to make up for running you over this time."

He's a little taken aback and shaking his head, "I can't let you treat me."

"Why?"

He blinks like he doesn't understand, "We both have to make it up to each other anyways, right? So that wouldn't make sense-"

"But we'll join you." His friend Iwa cuts him off as he steps forward, "We're celebrating his birthday tonight anyways and it'll be nice to have some buffers for his stupid."

Aw, his pout from last time is back and he's actually whining, "Iwaa, you're so mean to mee. And on my birthday?"

"Ohh goodie, this will be fun!" Tendou is literally the heart eyes emoji now but you think it's from the thought of all the fun he'll have torturing so many different people tonight.

"Yes. We have a table booked because we were unsure how busy it would be." Toshi adds, "I will inquire as to increasing our reservation."

It seems Oikawa's realized that he's going to be having dinner with his enemy and honestly looks a little sour about it but then you catch his eye again and he sees the smirk on your face. He tilts his head as he studies you because maybe he's only just realizing you're not such an 'angel'. No, you're definitely more a devil, it's probably why you and Tendou get along so great.

Either way, it looks like he's made his choice because he gestures for everyone to head into the restaurant after Toshi and now there's nine of you instead of the original six.

As you wait, you're properly introduced to Iwa - who is actually Iwaizume - Hanamaki, and finally Oikawa, before you introduce yourself. The first two call you by last name, but Oikawa calls you Y/n-chan or even just Y/n and you let it go because who are you to insist on proper etiquette when you're not even from here? Yeah, right, that's your story.

You end up sitting next to him and you think that was definitely manipulated by at least his friends if not also Tendou, who's managed to snag a front row seat right across the two of you.

It's definitely lively with this group and once everyone places their orders, it only gets louder as they all start talking and joking around with each other. For rival schools, they're making a surprising effort to get along, minus Tendou, but you think everyone has mutually decided to ignore his jibes.

"So..." You look over to your right at Oikawa with a bright smile to match his, "I didn't get to say it yet but.. Happy Birthday!"

"Aw thank you Faye-chan! I'm pretty lucky to have an angel wish me.. I have a feeling I'll be blessed for this year - if not the rest of my life!"

Ack, why are you blushing again? Is he genuine, flirty, or right on that line in between that you usually manage?

Probably the last, since you can't tell and you're the master at it. Okay then, fine. Let's play, pretty boy.

"Hm, I guess you didn't know that an angel can only pass blessings through tears or kisses.. if you want a blessed year, you'd have to make your angel cry... or fall in love." You inform him casually, holding eye contact the entire time so you don't miss the widening of his eyes, the colour on his cheeks, and that completely taken aback expression that slides on his face. Yeah, you went there. You have no filter when you're being impulsive but it's not like anyone else is listening either so you can be a little risky.

With a smirk, you finish, "Not just anyone can receive an angel's blessing after all. You'd have to be one of the luckiest guys in the world."

Something slightly shifts across his expression, like he reached a thought or decision you can't read, before he composes it to a conciliatory smile, "Well, then I'll just have to do my best to make sure I don't make sure I don't make you cry."

You get a warm, fuzzy feeling even though you left that opening for him, because that's a pretty sweet implication to make. You know you're both playing, but you can't help but wish he actually was going to try and make you fall in love.

Your wrists tingle at that thought, like an ever present reminder that fate in love is chosen for anyone who decides to follow that path. You refuse to get sad and melancholy, you've known the multiple markings on your wrist have decided your supposedly perfect matches since the moment you was born.

Unlike others in the world, who either choose to completely follow that path and dedicate themselves to the names etched on their skin or even those that completely oppose the idea of that kind of pre-destined love and shy away from it, you decided long ago that you would be neutral and give your soulmates a chance when you found them. So, you're not exactly available to just anyone, but you're not closed off to options, especially given that you're a little on the rarer side given the number of names currently hidden on your skin.

You don't realize you're adjusting the bracelets on your wrist until you notice him watching with a curious look on his face. What are the odds this cute boy you ran into has six currently indecipherable markings on his own skin? He hasn't rolled the sleeves of his shirt up this whole time so you haven't been able to check, if you would have even bothered to before, but by now you have a small, little percent of you that wants to know. It's just considered pretty bold and forward to ask or really keep trying to catch a glimpse of others' marks and even you're not that shameless. Maybe he's among the people that decided to completely ignore his marks?

Okay, now you're a little sad, but it's supposed to be a good night. You can hear the chatter of my and his friends around the two of you, but it feels like, for a moment of mutual quiet between you both, you're in your own little world together, with just each other and your shared thoughts. Or maybe you're just projecting.

You're glad when Iwaizumi distracts him from his other side because you dropped into this rabbit hole in your head so fast, that you're sure you got all weird and quiet and pretty obvious. You look up and see Tendou staring at you with a raised eyebrow and a pretty rare serious look on his face. Aw, he's checking to make sure you're okay. You really hope he didn't hear your conversation, though, because he's been one of your sounding boards on this matter way too much so he needs a break and you just don't want to talk about it.

Thankfully, the food arrives and your mood is back up as you all enjoy the delicious appetizers and variety of sushi that's been prepared for your table. You make Oikawa try a spicy dynamite roll when he admits he hasn't before and Tendou and Semi both keep stealing your gyoza before you can slap their hands away.

You're full well before any of the guys at the table when the topic of your trip comes up.

"Y/n-chan, what did you mean when you said you're not from here earlier?" Oikawa looks over to ask before dipping his last roll into some soy sauce and popping it into his mouth.

"Oh, I'm actually visiting Japan for my summer vacation. I spend my school year in America."

Maki pipes up from across Iwaizumi, "That's a pretty specific way you worded that. You live there?"

You smile happily knowing that he's caught on fast, you're a big fan of how words are used for communication, "I mean, I've spent so much time in different countries with friends and family and am usually travelling when not in school that I actually did mean that how I said it. Technically, I've been living here the past month, haven't I? And the next month, I'll still be living in Japan, only to return home when school's about to start."

"You'll be in Japan, but not Miyagi?" Iwaizumi is holding his green tea, his head tilted like he's trying to read between the lines now that he's realized you mean more than what you typically say.

"Yeah," You fiddle with your chopsticks, lining them up perfectly before looking around the table with a sad smile, "I'm off to stay in Tokyo instead, next week. I'll miss it here, but I'm also looking forward to my next adventures and new friends." You say the last with a smirk aimed at the Shiratowizawa guys who either smirk, whine, or roll their eyes (I see you, Semi) in response. Toshi seems completely unaffected but you know he'll miss you so you're not offended.

"So that's what you were yelling about taking a train before you ran into me." Oikawa states with a smirk while your face gets hot remembering that awkward encounter outside. Didn't you decide you never wanted to think of it again?

"Weren't you the one 'in my way'?" You throw back quickly but he's already shaking his head.

"No, pretty sure you made it clear that one was on you and only you, and who am I to argue with an angel?"

"Oi, shittykawa, stop trying to embarrass her, you're acting like trash." Wow, can you take Iwaizumi everywhere with you? Knight, shining armour.

"Iwa-chan! I think you've already forgotten what day it is again!"

"Yeah, it's the day you're supposed to grow up."

They're going to start bickering again so you think Soekawa is diffusing the tension when he return everyone to the original topic, "It's almost like you grew up here, though, I wouldn't be able to tell you're just visiting since you fit right in."

"Even when you claim not to be familiar with common customs!" Yeah, thanks Yamagata, I'm going to ignore that.

"Well I have a lot of family in Japan. Toshi, of course, and a few other cousins, aunts and uncles in different regions. So I guess it's like a second home for me where I've spent the majority of my breaks when I'm not travelling anywhere else." Soekawa already knew that, as did the rest of the Shiratorizawa guys, so you're just following his lead to keep the peace and share a little more for the others at this point.

"So you come back a lot?" Why is Oikawa asking? You don't want to read too much into it.

"Sure, if I don't have any other obligations, then yeah, I love spending time here."

"Why not just move? You could live here and come to Seijoh!" Aw, Maki's the sweet one in their group.

"If she were to live here, she already knows she should come to Shiratorizawa." Guess who?

Oikawa's reply follows so quick after Toshi's statement, like he just knew where it was going, "Yeah, no. She'd definitely like Aoba Johsai much more."

Ugh, you should have expected this too. The table erupts into a slightly heated debate but you can't fault this rivalry, it gets even worse between the academies back home so this is really oddly polite and low-key in comparison.

You excuse yourself and leave them at it to go wash your hands before dessert arrives and surprise, surprise, who do you bump into on your way back out to the dining room but pretty boy himself. Definitely curious if he was waiting for you for some reason or it's just a coincidence because, you know, people are allowed to use the restrooms when they need to.

"You know, Angel, you promised to make it up to me for running into me earlier."

"I thought we were supposed to make it up to each other?"

"Well.. then, how about we choose what we want from each other to fulfill our promise?"

You hesitate because it seems like he already has something in mind, but you don't think he would ask for anything you wouldn't be okay with. You're caught in his gaze as you take way less time than you probably should to consider his proposition before agreeing, "Well, it is your birthday, I guess. So tell me, how can I make it up to you?"

His smile becomes positively wicked, if you could call it that on a cute teenage boy, "Since I'm hoping for an incredible year and I got it wrong the first time, I'd like to ask for an angel's blessing."

You choose your words carefully, because, is he asking for what you think he is!?

"I don't suppose you want to make me cry?"

He chuckles and it's just a divine sound that rolls right through you, holding you still in this mesmerizing moment, "I'm sure I already said I don't ever want to make my pretty angel cry."

"I'm not your anything, Oikawa."

"Call me Toru, Y/n-chan. You're at least my friend, aren't you?"

You swear he's just stealing your smiles and blushes, because you can't stop the amused pull of your lips and light, warm flush at his playful tone. "I don't know, Oikawa, I don't think friends ask for kisses in return for... small mishaps."

"Well, I think we're friends," he pouts before settling back into an almost serious expression with a confident, sincere smile on his face, "but I'd really like to know what it's like to be the luckiest guy in the world."

"Hmm." You pretend to think it over but you already know your decision because you're so ridiculously charmed by this guy, "Well.. I suppose if it's a birthday wish..."

And before you can overthink it, you cross the step of space between you two, lean up with your hands resting on his chest for balance, and close your eyes before softly gifting him a small kiss on his cheek, right by the corner of his mouth. You must be as reckless as your friends say but you can't help but love the electric feeling that comes with the adrenaline of making bold and risky choices.

You want to look away so badly but you're also stubborn so you force yourself to keep meeting his eyes as you drop back down from your tip toes and pull away slightly. He'd immediately reached for your waist when you stretched up to reach him, as if to help steady you, but you're realizing now that was like some conditioned automatic reaction because he's actually looking frozen in shock and a little disbelief now that you're studying him.

Is he surprised that you actually gave him a kiss in some way, when he asked for it? Wow, you hope he wasn't completely joking around.. you hadn't thought you were reading that wrong. Oops?

His eyes are slightly wide again and mouth a little open like he was about to say something at whatever point he froze- why does he look so cute like this?? What a face he's making.. You smile at him and repeat your wish to him, "Happy birthday.. Toru."

He blinks like he's coming out of a trance, arms gradually dropping back to his sides, and this time, his smile is slow to spread but so sweet and happy. You think for a moment again about the marks on your wrist and wonder.. no. What are the odds?

"Angel, you... I'm really already the luckiest guy, aren't I?" Oh my gosh, why does that make you blush? He sounds incredibly genuine, maybe that's why.

"I guess, as your friend, I'll have to agree." It was supposed to come out sounding playful and careless, but there's a certain tension as you're kind of looking at each other for a moment before you feel the need to get some space from this.. weirdly intimate scene. You start to step backwards, with a friendly smile back on your face, "I'll see you back at-"

"That was my birthday present, right?"

You stop moving and tilt your head in confusion, "...yes?"

He smirks, "So what about 'making it up' once, let alone twice?"

You're pretty sure disbelief is sliding across your face now, "Seriously? I don't just go around giving birthday kisses, what more could you want?"

His laughter is warm and ripples in the space around you, "Don't look so suspicious, angel! The kiss was a birthday gift, we both agreed. But to make it up for running into me earlier, I just think exchanging our socials should be more than enough. We're friends anyways, right?"

"Oh." Okay, now you're a little embarrassed. You guess that's not really a sacrifice and it would be nice to keep in touch with him when you leave. It makes you sad to think you'd never run into or get to talk to this sweet chocolate boy again. "Okay, sure. But here's the thing, Oikawa. That's your request, not mine, so you still have to make it up to me for running into me that first time." You hold your hand up, briefly uncurling your first finger to make your point, before dropping it and tilting your head at him with what you hope is an innocent smile on your face.

He doesn't look thrown off at your challenging retort, so you're pretty sure he's got a feel for your unpredictable nature at this point. Oh well, you're sure you can still keep surprising him if you continue your friendship.

"Feel free to let me know what you want whenever you're ready then, but don't wait too long, Angel. It would break my heart to think I didn't pay off my debt to you."

You laugh off his lighthearted words with your own, "What a heavy word for our deal! Aren't devils the ones that hold debts over you? Pretty sure angels wouldn't ever do something so unkind."

He raises an eyebrow at your playful statement before remarking, "Are you trying to warn me? Pretty sure devils make deals, too, the debt just comes after. Sounds familiar, now that I think about it."

Your mouth drops at his teasing, even though you once again left him that opening, but before you can respond, Tendou finds you both, "Are you guys hiding out here from the rest of us? Sneaking some alone time, hm?"

You roll your eyes, because at this point, there's a lot worse moments he could have walked into that he'd never let you live down so, you're just thanking your own blessings. Toru's actually the one that snarks back something about getting away from him because he's annoying, as you all head back to the table together. That's when you also realize that he didn't head to the men's room so.. he'd been waiting for a moment alone with you.

Was it just about the birthday kiss and both of your 'debts'? Or was there something more left unsaid between you both?

You settle that thought away for later while the two of you quickly exchange your contacts before dessert arrives. Toru offers you his mochi in exchange for trying some of your coffee jelly and you almost give him a bite of your own spoon before you see the blush on his face. See, you do forget some things are still considered more intimate here in Japan than in North America.

He's still about to go for it, leaning towards you and opening his mouth for a bite, when you withdraw your spoon with an embarrassed laugh because, hey, his friends are watching pretty closely. Although, Toshi, Tendou, and even the other Shiratorizawa guys must be pretty used to you slipping on these things around them because it hasn't caught their attention.

You take that bite yourself, savouring the flavour and texture, while grabbing a spare spoon and handing it to him with a look out of the corner of your eyes. He accepts it with the slightest pout, actually looking a little disappointed, but then ends up digging in and finishing the rest of your dessert. He's ignoring your protests, grabbing the cup and turning so he's blocking you as you try to reach around him so you retaliate by taking away the rest of his dessert, which is pretty good too.

You find a moment while the guys are distracted and finishing up to quickly stand and find a staff member in order to cover the dinner before anyone else can do anything about it. When you return, Toshi and Tendou are looking at you, Toshi with a resigned look on his face and Tendou smirking at you. Yes, you're stubborn - these boys know it, some of the others are learning it, and the Seijoh guys will be getting their first taste of it. Pun intended, you guess.

You all stay a little longer before Toshi decides it's time to be heading back so you, him, and Tendou stand while the rest of the guys look at you three like you're missing something.

Iwaizumi's the one to speak up, kind of like he's not sure if you're oblivious, up to something, or that he's missing something, "Uh.. we need to pay the bill."

"Wait, are you serious?" And cue the realization for Semi, but then, he's also spent the most time with you apart from your cousin and bestie here, "Y/n?"

You just smile at him, not wanting to actually upset anyone, while Tendou responds, "I don't know why you look so surprised, Semi-Semi."

The others guys are starting to catch on and protest but it's Toshi who cuts them off, "If it pleases her to have taken care of the bill for us, than we should not disrespect her wishes. Do not throw her gift back in her face or feel indebted, I can guarantee it's no trouble to her and it makes her happy."

"Thanks Toshi!" You hug his arm while looking at the guys, "He's right, I never really agreed with anything when we first discussed it and this was my intention the whole time. I hope you guys enjoyed it and don't let it bother you, because I, for one, am just happy to have had this time tonight with all my new friends."

You swear, even Iwaizumi blushes and Maki actually hugs you. Toru's giving you a narrow-eyed look but he does have a smile on his face so you know he's letting it pass. If you're going to be friends, he'll have to realize that you're not one to stand on formalities or politeness. You do think things through and observe etiquette when necessary but, mostly, you do what you want to when you want to, especially if it means making the people you care about happy.

When you exit into the warm, summer night, you all start to head the same way. Most of the guys have grouped off with Soekawa and Yamagata walking furthest ahead, far enough that you can barely hear their voices, let alone their conversation. Just behind them are Toshi, Tendou, and Semi close enough that you can heard the lilt of their conversation but can't quite catch the words they're saying. Somehow, you and Toru have gravitated together and you think it's done purposefully again, because Iwaizumi and Maki are trailing slowly behind the two of you as if to give a little space too.

Toru is complaining about something Iwaizumi said but it seems like a pretty standard occurrence, their antagonist friendship, so you're just listening to the sound of his voice and appreciating the moment in time. You don't know when, or even if ever, you'll find this sort of relaxed comfort with someone you only barely know. You guess that's why you miss it when he grows a little quiet before asking, "So what's your life like when you're living your school year in America?"

You look up at the sky, thinking over all the thing you might say, and you settle on, "Busy, I guess."

"Hm. Me too, but that's typical, right?"

"Is it? What keeps you so busy?" You're looking over at him now so you see the smile slip on his face while it seems like now he's the one looking at something in the distance.

"I mean, other than school, I'm the setter for Aoba Johsai's volleyball club."

You laugh out loud but explain when he looks a little offended, "No, sorry, it's just, I already knew that!"

"Oh? Keeping tabs on me?"

"No, silly." You reach out to smack his arm and he grabs it like you've hurt him, pouting yet again. "I mean, aren't you and Toshi rivals? Like, everyone here plays volleyball, right?"

"Except for you?" He sounds almost certain, with just the slightest question in his voice when he throws that out there so you smirk, interested to see his reaction.

"I'm the setter, you know. Toshi apparently said once that I could teach you a few things." He whips around to look at you and you can see he's torn between several emotions - definitely curiosity and competitiveness among them.

"You were talking about me?"

"Semi mentioned it to me, I don't know if Toshi has actually ever complimented me on my skills to my face." You laugh a little, thinking about your cousin's quiet, serious, and direct nature. "Wait, no. He definitely has, but I think we were in single digits then. He hasn't seen me play in person for a long time."

"Hm. Well, he does have a good eye for talent."

"Right, like I don't know how much he bugs you about joining his team." You tease lightly, tilting your head so you can look sideways up at him, "Haven't you heard? You should have gone to Shiratorizawa."

He rolls his eyes, matching your tilt with his own to look sideways and down at you, "Don't you start too or we're not friends anymore."

"Aw." You copy his signature pout, "Toru-chaaan, you're so meeaan!"

He's shaking his head in complete disbelief at your silliness but you've got him smiling wide - and slightly blushing - too so you consider it a win.

"We're going to be a really strong team. I wish you could come see me play." There's a pause and you think he's finished but he adds, "You know, when we beat your cousin and his team."

"Hm." You don't agree or disagree, choosing instead to divert, "Or you could see me play and I could teach you that thing or two."

"I wonder." He actually sounds thoughtful and you're kind of glad because it means he's not as conceited as he sometimes acts. You wonder why?

It's almost time to move on, and you're anticipating your goodbye already, "You know, I'm glad we ran into each other."

He looks surprised that you would say that and thrown off because it's not flirty or teasing. You're genuine and sincere in your statement and you're sure that comes across.

"Really?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? You're a good person to be around, Oikawa. I can tell that from just a couple run ins and a couple hours. I'm happy to call you my friend."

The look he sends you is as undeniably warm, tender, and sweet as it is slightly apprehensive and thoughtful. You don't know why he seems to question his value or worth in some way, but you can tell he appreciates your words, however he decides to accept them.

"I'm glad to have run into you too." It's said softly before he seems to switch back into his confident smirk, "I'm really glad to have received a blessing from a pretty angel like you too."

You're not going to blush, nope. No. You can feel your face heat up so you throw out a random statement to cover your fluster, "Aren't all angels pretty, anyways?"

"You're extra special." He smiles and then adds, "You look especially pretty tonight."

"Uh.. thanks. I mean, it was a celebratory dinner one way or another."

He's still studying you, particularly the bracelets that cover your wrists, so you're not exactly surprised when he reaches out a little, to lift your arm. You don't notice you've stopped and are facing each other at this point because he's asking, "Do you always wear these?"

You study them when you don't need to, for once avoiding that inner urge for strength to look up, face your fears, and see what might lie in his expression. "No. Obviously I can't when I play."

"The rest of the time?"

"Not really. Not these specific ones a lot, either, but other bracelets or sleeves or gloves, sure - it's probably like fifty-fifty." You don't know why you're even telling him this but his expression is a little apprehensive, a little hopeful, so maybe you want to see where this goes.

"Why?"

You look up at him then, at an unusual loss for words and not knowing if he understands what it's like. He must know, of course, like every child in this world learns growing up, how diversely fractured the beliefs in this concept is. You're sure he's aware of the people that completely support the soulmate system and push others to believe in it just as faithfully. He must also know about the other side of the scale, people that literally hate the concept to the point of forcing their disbelief, mistrust, and active rebellion onto others. That's all common knowledge quite well understood around your world and anyone can fall anywhere on the scale, like with politics or religion.

But does he understand how it feels, even in a world where almost every person has at least one name on their skin, to have six? To either be an object of awe, or envy, or disgust. To be you, in that position, an overthinking, overachieving daughter of an almost empirical family, and to have to account for how the marks you were born with might be received in the various environments you're in. You haven't even been able to use your real last name for years thanks to your last deal with your grandmother.

You don't know what his mark is, if he has more than one, you don't even know what he thinks of any of it and where he falls on that scale. And you're supposed to explain why?

He's still looking at you, waiting for something. You don't know if any of your thoughts have hit your expression because you're so conflicted and a little scared. But you're also oddly curious too, like a little part of you is hoping that out of the 7.6 billion people in the world, you just happened to run into and click immediately with one of your six actual soulmates. Seriously, what are the odds? 1 in every 1.2 billion, you guess.

It's like he can see you're retreating, even though you feel like you haven't even moved to take a breath, and he asks, "Can I?"

It's like your heart stops. Why? Why? But you're biting your lip and nodding, like in some kind of trance-like moment. You don't move to help him figure out the clasp and he's just about to snap it open-

"Oi!" You look over and see all the guys stopped a little bit further down from the two of you, where they're clearly going separate ways. When did Iwaizumi and Maki even pass you both??

You burn with embarrassment and concern at how completely unaware you were while talking to Toru. Has it only been a minute or two since you stopped walking? It felt like eternity and a single moment all at the same time.

When you look at his face, he has an equally complicated mix of emotions on his face, that same embarrassment and shock, but also frustration and.. what looks a little bit like a question, if you both can stay here and see this moment to its end. What end would that be?

"Yo! Stop flirting, it's getting late!"

Without looking over at the others again, the both of you pull apart and, metaphorically, pull yourselves together before breaking eye contact and turning to walk the rest of the way.

"You know," You've almost reached the group and you don't expect Toru to talk so you're a little startled when he cuts into the silence but, "I'm really excited to meet mine."

You look over at him at him again, grateful he's diffused the tension so beautifully, even though you're left with what feels like hundreds of questions. You push it all away to bring back some of that easy comfort you were enjoying and answer him with a bright, sincere smile, "Me too. I always have been."

You hope that conveys something to him or explains it a little. You've never been ashamed of the marks on your skin. You're not enamoured with them either. You're simply open to what the possibilities could be and happy to accept whatever makes you and the people you care for happy.

You don't bother questioning the odds or worrying about all the pressing thoughts you've chosen to tuck away for the rest of the night, even after you say your goodbyes and part ways. One way or another, at least some of your questions will be answered. Because in a little over two years from now, if you're the youngest of all your soulmates, the designs that so prettily cover the six currently unreadable names between both of your wrists will change as if they've melted away. A little over two years from now, on your 16th birthday, the names of your soulmates that have been etched into your skin from birth, will finally reveal themselves.

And from your perspective, what you do then won't be any different from how you operate now. Because your future and your fate will always be your choice.

-x-x-x-

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Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Y/n is pretty solid on where she stands regarding soulmates, including hers specifically - She wants to give them a chance, which means no serious commitments or relationships until she's learned who they are and met them; if any of all of them want nothing to do with her, she's decided she'll move on and explore new possibilities with a higher degree of commitment at the time

-She's aware things don't go as planned or imagined.. you might call her realistically optimistic.. she's also well aware through personal experience that what you think you want to do might not line up with how you feel about people since, you know, you can't control the feeling, heart wants what the heart wants, etc, etc :')

-And, like any teenager that is constantly undergoing different experiences, particularly one with a tendency to overthink many things, she also suffers moments of doubt and questions if her philosophy should change - for her, there's no perfect answer, just the best she can do or choose

-Essentially, she has a flexible mindset in that, while she has her opinions which she stands for pretty steadily, if new information does manage to sway those opinions, she's always willing to adapt and learn, consequently updating those opinions and beliefs with new information

-Oikawa... isn't playing around. Actually, he loves to play around, lol, but he's definitely interested in Y/n. He also definitely questioned their odd instant attraction to each other but he's not going to push or make anyone actually feel uncomfortable, especially with a ridiculously high chance of being wrong

-He wasn't lying when he said he's excited to meet (and know) his soulmate, but he's also still just a kid and he currently already loves something real/tangible with all his being so he's okay to wait for something that's supposedly meant to be

A/N: Hi friends! I felt like the written part of this chapter was really long so I'm posting the SMAU part on a different post tomorrow morning. It'll also give me time to make sure everything is in line since I have a lot more trouble with putting those together, as previously mentioned. As always, feel free to send me a message if you noticed any mistakes or even just have anything you want to say about the story so far. I'd love to hear from you! <3

Taglist: @delusivist

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asa-sauce · 4 years

Text

those forgotten things

❀ haikyuu!! x (ukai’s kid!) reader

flavor: honey mustard

warnings: none!

a/n: hi, sorry for the long wait! if you're coming from my tiktok, thank you for the continued support! i don’t know who the specific love interest is going to be, so for now it’s basically the entire karasuno team x reader.

note: ukai is your adoptive father. and this takes place at very very end of season 1/very beginning of season 2. you are 16.

+ Your dad, Ukai Keishin, forgets his water bottle at the convenience store before practice. You decide to bring it to him... Big mistake.

The bell on the door announces your presence with a gentle chime, and the cool air coming from the ancient air conditioner hits your face. It's a heavenly relief from the sizzling heat, and you thank heaven for the store being so close to school.

"Hi dad! I'm home!" You call out, but no answer comes.

"Where is he?" Misaki asks, head bobbing up and out like a buoy. There's a prep in her voice now, like a child at an amusement park.

"He's probably in the back or something, I don't know." There's no one else in the store.

She sets her heavy, multi-key chained school bag next to the chair, and you notice that the normally happy face of the plush bunny keychain is smushed against the table leg, smile distorted into a frown.

She starts her jaunty browsing around the store, weaving in and out of each aisle. You do the same, not knowing what you're in the mood for, and meet her at the candies and gum.

"Seriously, Y/n, how do you not find your dad attractive?" The question catches you off guard, and you find yourself quickly scanning the front of the store for any customer that might have just walked in. Did she really just ask that?

You swivel around in a slow, dramatic way, giving her an incredulous look that just about asks that question. She looks at you with that casual—but all too serious—charm, as if she had simply asked what the weather is going to be like tomorrow.

"'Cause he's my dad." She rolls her eyes, dissatisfied with the answer, then juts her head forward just enough to add more emphasis on her next words.

"But he adopted you. You aren't blood-related."

You stare at her. She can't be completely serious, right?

You and Misaki met last year on the first day of school. Meeting her was like something out of an anime. The rambunctious airhead meets the quiet, down-to-earth girl who just can't say no to people.

She literally proclaimed your friendship to the world on that first day of school.

So this: her apparent infatuation for your dad, is very far out there, yes. Yet in retrospect, it's nothing beyond her character.

"Jeez, you're weird," you say, deciding to smile it off. You turn to grab a neon blue bag of chips from the shelf beside you. Misaki laughs, head thrown back, in a maniacal way, and disappears behind the aisle end. "Did you get your food yet?"

"Yeah." She's chosen a popsicle today, already unwrapping it while she continues to peruse the aisles more, just for fun. Her fingers drag along the underside of each plastic price tag, making a clackclackclackclackclak sound that's almost ominous.

"How much is it?" You ask, to which she tells you. You go over to the cash register and take out the appropriate change from your wallet, placing each bill and coin into the correct spaces. Even though you're a member of the family-owned store, a business is still a business, and the small ones like this especially need anything and everything they can get to thrive.

Misaki sits at the table for a few minutes, and you guess that she's waiting for your dad to come back out. She's slouched over her brightly lit cellphone screen, her thumbs continually pattering as she responds to all her messages.

It's awkward.

Even though you and Misaki have gotten pretty close since meeting each other, those uncomfortable silences still sometimes appear.

But then she begins talking about a boy she's been texting these past few weeks, mostly talking it out with herself then seeking your advice. You give simple reactions, and comment when she expects it. A simple 'he did not!' or 'ugh!' will satisfy her.

Of course it's not all that one-sided. She talks, you listen; you talk, she responds. And quite frankly, you don't mind it.

But then the silence emerges once again, until she lets out a big, audible, intentional sigh and stands up.

"Well, I gotta head home, my mom's getting fussy about something again." She shoves her phone in the side pocket of her bag, short hair whipping around as she hoists her bag over her shoulder.

"Okay, see you tomorrow, Misaki." You can feel the breath of relief beginning to grow inside your lungs as she collects her things and heads for the door.

"Yup. Tell your dad I said hello!"

"I will."

No you won't.

And with a final automated jingle of the door chime, she leaves. You wait until the white bunny keychain on her bag is no longer in view to release that breath of relief.

And then, you smile.

"Alright, dad! You can come out now!" you announce, your head tipped back towards the blue curtains. In a comical way, just the face of your father appears, with tufts of yellow hair sneaking out behind him. With his eyes wide he scans the room, side to side, searching for any trace of your friend.

"Is she gone?"

"Yeah, she is."

The rest of him appears then.

Ukai sits himself on the slanting, rickety stool behind the counter that is literally almost on its last legs, with his feet propped up. It's his way of "intimidating" all the "shitheads" that come through after school—is what he says.

You hop onto the counter, splitting open the chip bag. A puff of flavored air travels up into your nose.

"How was that English quiz today?" Ukai asks, catching a whiff as well while you pop the first chip into your mouth.

"Good. I got a 97." you reply after swallowing.

"That's my girl."

You hum in response, munching on another chip. Looking into the bag, you spot a wider, saltier chip that curls at one end. It takes up half the amount of chips, you realize as you take it. It should be a crime, you think, to fill up more than half of the bag with air.

"I'm gonna leave here a little earlier for practice tonight. A few of the boys wanted me to help them with a couple new combinations."

He swings his legs off the counter and sits up, mumbling something about wishing he had taken a nap before walking back into the house to change.

You go through the motions of unpacking your school bag, decideding to work on math first.

You spread your textbooks and papers out on the counter, an organized mess as you like to say, of calculus.

Your pencil moves rapidly across the page, the little flower charm on dangling back and forth with each squiggle.

Your dad leaves around ten minutes later, but not before giving you a quick kiss on the head. The sun is still high and proud, and has no intention to descend until an hour or more later.

It's your favorite time of day. The sun falls through the glass doors in a way that makes the entire world seem just a little more fanciful. It's usually quiet in the store, and after an entire day of constant conversations from you and those around, you can't help but yearn for these peaceful moments. It's entirely why you agreed to take over Ukai's shifts ever since he began coaching Karasuno's male volleyball team.

If anyone comes in at this hour though, they're likely to be a student from Karasuno, but in about five minutes the store's most frequent customer, Etsu, will stop by, and will no doubt be mewling for a meat bun.

You plop down on the seat behind the counter, taking a moment to your self to breathe. You tug at the base of your long ponytail, releasing your unruly hair from the confines of your hair tie. Although you aren't directly related to Ukai, over the years you've inherited parts of his look. One of those being your 'lion's mane' (as your grandmother calls it).

Ukai had adopted you when you were ten, but the six years you've known each other feel like sixteen. You don't remember much about your biological family, and for privacy reasons Ukai doesn't know any more than you do.

You have no harsh feelings towards them--no contempt or ill-wishes for leaving their own daughter. Of course, there are days when you wondered where they are, and what life might be like if they kept you.

Perhaps it is for the best, you always came to. Maybe it is meant to be this way, because at least the life you are living now with just your dad and grandparents is good. It's good—

You hear a dull chip as the lead snaps. It flies off to the side, leaving a small pencil marking etched into your paper. It's minor, but still an annoyance when deep in thought or concentration. Still, it's nothing that can't fixed with two pumps at the end of the pencil. You start over again, scribbling out the final numbers when familiar happy mewl grabs your attention. Before you can even look over, your cheeks lift into a smile.

"Hi, Etsu!"

It's a reaction that happens as soon as the sound reaches your ears. You set your pencil on your paper, math equations and theories slipping from your mind.

Etsu hops onto the counter, his blazing orange fur shimmering in the sunlight. Despite him being a stray, his fur is the softest thing on the planet. You hope he is a stray, because that's how you connected to him in the first place. Sometimes you wonder if he's had those long, quiet nights alone.

"You ready for a meat bun?" You say, sliding a hand back from his head to mid back. He anticipates your touch, always tilting his head up before you caress him again. The mewl he gives, so meek and mild, is what you understand to be a 'yes'.

And so you go over to the pork bun warmer and carefully pluck a bun from the middle shelf, trying your hardest not to touch the metal racks in between. There's still a little splotch of red on your hand from the last time you burned yourself.

The doughy flesh of the bun is warm under your fingertips, and droops slightly, heavy with pork. Steam escapes from every pore, and then, as you slice the bun open, it billows out.

The soft sounds of Estu enjoying his meal brings you a gratification that only comes on—again—during peaceful moments like these.

But as you watch him, you notice your dad's tall, black water bottle and cellphone sitting next to the rotary.

I should probably go and give it to him, you think, watching the bottle now instead of Etsu.

It's about four minutes walking distance from the store.

It wouldn't hurt.

"Nana! Dad left his water here. I'll be right back!"

You wait until you hear the warm, candied voice of your grandmother to leave the store. For a moment, a part of you misses the cool air conditioning.

****

As you enter the breezeway leading to the gym, you realize that you've never been here after school. There's a different vibe, you immediately notice; one that has your steps slowing.

You have never seen the boys your dad coaches. It's not like he forbade you from going to games; and it's not like didn't have any interest in the sport. It's just that you...never.. saw them practice.

You can hear the shoes squeaking and the ball slamming against the waxed floor. It's starts to sound like a horror movie soundtrack, in a weird way.

You peep your head in, carefully clutching the metal door frame.

Five boys, the ones your dad mentioned about earlier, are the first things to catch your eye. One of them, with hair as orange and fiery as Etsu's, is mid-air.

You spot your dad fifteen feet away to the left, arms crossed over one another, head tilted down and eyes wound up--his Focus Face, as you liked to call it. He's deep in his concentration, watching every move of the players on the court. You don't want to interrupt him, so you wait till one of the sides makes a point.

That point comes no sooner after you decide, and after it does, the boisterous cheers of the side closest to you fill the room. You take one step in, more confident, then another, till you're past the metal threshold.

"Dad?"

The man in question turns on instinct. He knows that voice. For fifteen years he's heard the sound of that word, the specific pitch and inflection. So he turns, void of any hesitation or forethought, only wondering why you're here a good few seconds after he sees your face.

Everyone else turns too. The word is so foreign in that environment it feels like slime against skin. The cheers stop. Even the ball stops rolling, and all eyes are on you.

"(Y/n)? What are you--" your father begins, still wide-eyed and surprised. They stay like that for only that moment, however, before returning to their sharp gaze. He turns to the boys, and says, "Excuse me for a second."

You meet him halfway as he walks towards you, neverminding the boys' stares. Haven't they ever seen a girl before? Wasn't that a girl standing right beside your dad?

"You forgot your water bottle," you half-whisper. The stares are getting to you, and you start to feel like you're being cooked alive. "I thought you might need it."

Behind him, a soft murmur lays low in the air. You're hyper-aware of it. What are they saying?

"Thanks, sugarplum." Your dad smiles, something that you know others rarely see, and takes the bottle.

You follow the same path back towards the doors, every now and then peaking glances back at the curious boys. They look kinda goofy, you think, just standing there like they had just witnessed a miracle, like the Lord Jesus Christ himself had come down from the heavens.

But as you turn the corner, a wall that wasn't there before blocks your path. It takes two seconds to register this, but in that first second, you're already colliding into it.

You stumble back, and so does the wall, giving you enough space to look up and see two eyes staring down at you. They're brown and wide with fear, as if had just broken an ancient artifact and was about to be executed.

A squeaky sorry tumbles from your lips at the same time he apologizes.

"Are you okay?" The wall--boy...man?--says. You're still in a daze, but lucid enough to give him a reassuring smile. You've seen him around before. You've never talked to him, but always feel bad that others perceived him as villainous or criminal. Deep down you he know has a kind soul... and a cute face.

"I'm fine! Don't worry about it."

"(Y/n)! You alright?" Your dad calls out from where he is, leaning over to see who you bumped into.

"Yeah! Everything's good!" You pip.

The wall in front of you shifts to the side, clearing the way for you to exit.

You walk with your head down all the way back home, afraid that anyone and everyone could see how red your face was.

God, that was embarrassing.

****

"Coach, was that your daughter?!" Tanaka says, almost teasingly. He's the first to break the silence, and has an apparent death wish.

Soft eyes go razor sharp again. No way was he going to let any one of those hormonal teenage boys near his precious daughter.

"Get back to work, Tanaka!" Ukai barks. All the color drains from Asahi's face, who is still standing by the doors.

"Wait, you mean... I just ran into your daughter?"

"It's okay, Asahi, don't worry about it."

"But...but..."

"Does she go to Karasuno?" Hinata asks over Asahi's blubbering, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Yes, but don't you dare even think about--

"Is she a first year?"

"SHE'S A SECOND YEAR, FIRST YEAR, NOW GO GET READY FOR PRACTICE."

"Y-yes sir!"

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #hinata shoyo #ukai keishin #ukai x y/n #ukai x reader #tanaka ryuunosuke #asahi azumane #haikyuu fanfiction

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